GSCENE 67
YAYA KNOWS BEST
STUFF & THINGS
REAL HEROES
DOWN TO A TEA
) It's Saturday, March 28, and I'm two weeks in self isolation and social distancing. It's exactly 14 days since I last hugged a friend and felt someone close to me. By the time you’re reading this it will be the end of April and a lot of things will have changed even more. I wish I could be optimistic and say that things will be better but statistics and facts from other countries are telling us that we are only at the very beginning.
) Ah tea... it's a wondrous thing. Keeps me happy and sane during the day, gets me through hard times, improves the better times. I wonder what the record is for the number of cups of tea I've had in a day? Eight? 12? 27? It probably isn't 27... that'd be one cup every 28 minutes or something.
BY EMMA RYLANDS
Don't get me wrong, things will get better and we will get to enjoy all the things we used to, prior to Covid-19, but not just yet. Be patient. Even though no previous generations have ever experienced what we are currently going through, they have been through wars, poverty and other horrible situations that ended. And once all these things end, new life begins. The entire world is collectively going through the same as us and we all are equally helpless when faced with this virus. Our race, gender, sexuality, socio-economic status and skin colour doesn’t make us immune when it comes to pandemics. I do hope that once this pandemic is over we will all have reflected on our lives and realised what is and isn't important. If anything, this situation has highlighted and reminded us who are the heroes and zeroes of our times. The ones we used to idolise and treat differently are all cooped up at home with luxuries and comforts. Footballers, Instagram influencers, artists, celebrities and other A to Z-listers, which can make in a month what your average worker makes in their lifetime, are sat in their lounge encouraging their followers to stay at home in order to stop the spreading of the virus. ‘Average’ workers are out there fighting the virus. From nurses and doctors to supermarket employees, everyone is out there every single day, risking their lives in order for us to be able to stay at home and avoid getting infected. They are literally the backbone of civilisation and they are keeping everything in working order yet they struggle to pay their monthly bills, student loans or any other expenses because our society doesn't reward them for their efforts and achievements.
“They are keeping everything in working order yet they struggle to pay their monthly bills... because our society doesn't reward them for their efforts and achievements” When I was growing up everyone wanted to be a doctor or a nurse, a pilot or a firefighter, a teacher or a police person. These days everyone wants to be famous, they want to have followers, they want to get likes and make money to live in a big house like the Beckhams, while driving expensive cars and dining in overpriced restaurants. But none of these things are of any worth today. None of these things will save your life. When all this is over let us not forget who was there for us. Who risked their life by emptying our bins or cleaning the hospital floors. Who saved us and who deserves our “likes", gratitude and respect.
BY JON TAYLOR
Could be close though. I write this sat at my desk with a mug of homemade tea and am typing away. It's all very exciting. I mean, anything could happen. The mug has got 'Blah, blah blah' written on it. It's life on the edge stuff. I’m sat by the window at my basement flat so can see the street outside and the comings and goings of people as they do their thing. Not that there are many comings and goings at the moment what with the lockdown an' all. My attention turns to my email account and the usual junk that gets sent to me. There's one about having a smart meter installed when things are more relaxed. I wonder if this is a job I could do? I'm quite smart. I can read. It must be quite nice being a smart meter installer. I could drive around in a van stuffed full of equipment, getting my lump hammer in and out of it. Best thing about it might be the way you can have a mild snoop around everyone's house that you visit. I don't mean they go riffling through your drawers or anything, that'd be rude, but they get to see all the different styles, see people's choices of colour and furniture. Is everywhere painted grey? That would be the way to find out.
“It must be quite nice being a smart meter installer. I could drive around in a van stuffed full of equipment, getting my lump hammer in and out of it” I wonder if there's ever a situation where they have to back out of the house and politely leg it? If the smart meter needs to be put in the basement and that's where the customer's sex dungeon is, do they quickly flee before they see the full range of toys down there? If there's a chest freezer in the garage where the meter's going, and they pop it open and see a mass of frozen road kill, do they muffle their screams and run? If they pop into the living room and see row after row of dolls heads strewn across the floor, do they casually make their excuses and leg it? It's probably not that exciting. You probably rock up, install the meter in the quintessential British hallway and head onto the next stop. I guess you might get offered a cup of tea as you do so. Perhaps a biscuit. Imagine the number of cups of tea they must get through in a day? Good grief, this could be my ideal job! I might have to arrange some toilet facilities though. That much tea would have consequences and there's only so many empty cola bottles you can fill up in your van before it looks rather unprofessional. Something to ponder though...
