2 minute read
Stuff & Things
By Jon Taylor
The ins and outs of sex
Advertisement
Ah, sex. We all love a bit of the sex do we not? In some aspects, the whole gay world seems to revolve around sex. The apps have certainly made things a bit more straightforward for those who find it difficult talking to people in bars, like I do. Much easier to chat someone up virtually.
Some bemoan the apps for taking away this aspect of the gay experience. The meeting in bars, the catching a glimpse of someone checking you out, the initial chat, the relaxed chat leading to who knows what in the bar toilet later. But the apps don't stop you from doing these things, you can still do them if you want to. Anything that helps Person A find Person B is a good thing I think.
And, of course, porn. Porn presents the perfect idea of sex and how you should be doing it. Utterly unrealistic of course… fun to watch but not life-like. Did you see It's A Sin? There's a scene where the main character is about to get it on but is pulled up for not being clean down there. It was great to see it on screen as every gay man has been there. I call it an occupational hazard. You never see that happening in mainstream porn. But it can happen.
Sex is all over the place. On our televisions, in our phones, in our apps, in advertising, everywhere. Sex sells! If you really want to you could start your own Only Fans page and sell pictures and videos of yourself to random strangers! How exciting! It's everywhere! And, of course, there's the illusion that we're all having huge amounts of sex all the time, which we probably aren't.
Of course, with all this sex going on there's the distinct possibility of getting involved in some bad sex. Some really bad sex. The times that things don't gel. The times when the photos and the in-person man don't quite match. The time when they leave before you begin. The worst thing for me to do with bad sex is when guys don't know how to kiss properly.
What's that about? How is that a thing? I've experienced the Dead Lips – when there's absolutely no response from a guy when you kiss them. Nothing. Not a wriggle. It's like kissing some Wotsits. And then there's the guy who believes that kissing is opening their mouth as wide as possible and shoving their whole tongue in your mouth and swirling it round for hours on end. It's very weird. How can someone get through life without knowing how to do that properly?
And then there's drugs. Meeting up with guys who are clearly high on something or other and can't get up off the bed let alone getting anything else up.
The ins and outs of sex. I guess what with all this bad sex about I need to find me some great sex. I must be due some.
