Swan Magazine February, 2020 by Douglas Sutherland-Bruce

IN THIS ISSUE FEATURES

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Books and Writing

A Reply to Pilate Bookworm’s Corner Just Out Marathon Writing Competition Poetry Spooky Story Competition The Idler The Noble Recreation Your Voice Matters

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Business

Community

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Australian Monarchist League Inc 52 Annie’s Collective Wonderland 20 Federal Notes 16 Flinders University News 29 SAFE 54 Silent Reflux 10 SVRN Canny Grapes 48 Free Community Workshops 48 Naval Base Horse Beach 49 The Compassionate Friends 55 What’s On 18

Entertainment

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Film 22 Reviews: 1917 23/25 A Hidden Life 22 The Lighthouse 24 Food 14 Footnote People in History 50 Swan Stage 30 Reviews Are You Kid-ing Me? 30 Robin Hood and the Witches of Sherwood 32 Six Minutes, 6 Ways 32 Outback Angels 30 Theatre Companies Garrick Theatre Club 37 Melville Theatre 39 Old Mill Theatre 34 Roleystone Theatre 35 Stirling Players 36 TV with Chris 26 Leisure

House and Garden Perth Summer League

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Swinburne Press (founded 1989) P: 0418 934 850 E: douglas.guvnor@gmail.com

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DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Swan Magazine does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein. 2

BOOKS AND WRITING JUST OUT Title: Author: Publisher: ISBN:

Title: Author: Publisher: ISBN:

The Other People CJ Tudor Michael Joseph 9781 4059 3964 5

S Driving home one night, stuck behind a rusty

The Mysterious World of Sherlock Holmes Bruce Wexler Skyhorse 9781 5107 4961 0

ver a century since his first appearance in print, Sherlock Holmes remains an iconic figure today. This unique companion is a collector’s dream, allowing fans to delve into the criminal environment of foggy, gas-lit Victorian London-the world of the all-time greatest detective. This book brings to life the elements of Holmes’s success, the crime scene of his day, his history in film and television, and the present-day Holmes legacy. Featured throughout are famous figures such as Holmes’s faithful sidekick, Dr. Watson; his nemesis, Professor Moriarity; and Sherlock Holmes creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Filled with more than a hundred and fifty images - many of the works by the great original illustrators of Conan Doyle’s stories - this volume presents an excellent mix of information to satisfy legions of Holmes collectors, mystery fans, and historians fascinated by a bygone era. Through detailed text and specially researched archive illustrations, the unique volume: • Documents the greatest mysteries, methods of deduction, and notorious criminals found in the Holmes canon. • Brings to startling life the Victorian London crime scene that compromised the detective’s fascinating world. • Examines the various media manifestations of the stories, including their history in print and film and television adaptations. Invites you to read the tales again with newfound insight.

he sleeps, a pale girl in a white room . . .

old car, Gabe sees a little girl’s face appear in the rear window. She mouths one word: ‘Daddy.’ It’s his five-year-old daughter, Izzy. He never sees her again. Three years later, Gabe spends his days and nights travelling up and down the motorway, searching for the car that took his daughter, refusing to give up hope, even though most people believe that Izzy is dead. Fran and her daughter, Alice, also put in a lot of miles on the motorway. Not searching. But running. Trying to keep one step ahead of the people who want to hurt them. Because Fran knows the truth. She knows what really happened to Gabe’s daughter. She knows who is responsible. And she knows what they will do if they ever catch up with her and Alice . . .

About the Author C. J. Tudor’s love of writing, especially the dark and macabre, started young. When her peers were reading Judy Blume, she was devouring Stephen King and James Herbert. Over the years she has had a variety of jobs, including trainee reporter, radio scriptwriter, dog walker, voiceover artist, television presenter, copywriter and, now, author. Her first novel, The Chalk Man, was a Sunday Times bestseller and has sold in over forty countries. The Taking of Annie Thorne was her second novel and now The Other People.

About the Author Bruce Wexler is also the author of The Wild, Wild West of Louis L’Amour and The Authentic South of Gone with Wind. Through meticulous study, he has gained an intimate cultural knowledge of the Victorian crime scene and early forensic and logical methods of detection. Applying this information to his great interest in the Sherlock Holmes stories, Wexler offers new insight into the life and times of the definitive detective. He lives in London.

What reviewers say: ‘CJ Tudor is terrific. I can’t wait to see what she does next’ Harlan Coben ‘Hugely enjoyable and deliciously creepy. I was hooked from its gripping opening, all the way through its many twist and turns’ Alex Michaelides, author of The Silent Patient ‘Utterly magnificent. Such a beautifully weaved and satisfyingly complex tale, with just the right level of spookiness’ James Oswald ‘Britain’s female Stephen King’ Daily Mail ‘If you like my stuff, you’ll like this’ Stephen King ‘Some writers have it, and C. J. Tudor has it big time. The Taking of Annie Thorne is terrific in every way’ Lee Child ~oOo~

What reviewers say: Three stars (out of five) Although there seems to be a lot of information in The Mysterious World of Sherlock Holmes which has been educational and visually appealing, the reading has been superficial at best and filled with many errors. Many times, it 3

BOOKS AND WRITING caters to the hobby collectors. MARATHON WRITING COMPETITION There is nothing much that’s related to the stories; just bits here and there for several of them. Having read all of the stories about the famed consulting detective by Arthur Conan Doyle (I refuse to touch the ghostwritten stories), I’ve known the myths because they never happened. I think it’s pointless at times to expand them to a certain extent in the book. Hence, it’s all about the memorabilia and the estimated value of them. Worse are the glaring errors and spelling mistakes which indicates a rush job of the book’s publication. A good example is when Wexler misspells Treasure Island author’s name before correcting himself later in the pages. All in all, The Mysterious World of Sherlock Holmes is not that terrible but can be cleaned up a bit more and use additional details related to the stories. - James Carter (Goodreads) ~oOo~ Title: Author: Publisher: ISBN:

ow fast can the words flow from your pen? Do you need inspiration to ignite your creativity? Kick start your imagination by booking a place in the Marathon Writing Competition run by the Society of Women Writers WA on Saturday 28 March 2020 in the Pilbara Room at the State Library of WA in Northbridge, from 10.15am to 5.15pm. Can you beat our reigning champion, teenager Amber Berriman of Gidgegannup who has won the trophy six times in a row? Helen Iles, author of Bitter Comes the Storm, Fire in the Heartland, and The Horse Keepers, will give you a series of writing prompts: a word, a phrase, an image or a song to spark your imagination and generate ideas for writing stories, poetry or articles. There will be ten challenges, each lasting twenty-five minutes. The winner will receive a trophy and certificate. There are also prizes for second and third places. Helen, the Chairperson of The Society of Women Writers WA, says “The aim is to produce first drafts, fresh new material for writing projects. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation or spelling. Let the words spill out onto the paper. You will be amazed at how much writing you can produce.” Bring your favourite pens. Notepaper will be supplied. The cost of the marathon is $25 and it is open to all writers, men and women, young and old. Bookings are essential due to limited seating at the venue. To book, call 0429 116 395 or email swwwabookingofficer@gmail.com For more information, visit the Society’s website: www. swwofwa.com.au

Mr Nobody Catherine Steadman Simoin and Schuster UK 9781 4711 9227 2

hen a man is found on a Norfolk beach, drifting in and out of consciousness, with no identification and unable to speak, interest in him is sparked immediately. From the hospital staff who find themselves inexplicably drawn to him; to international medical experts who are baffled by him; to the national press who call him Mr Nobody; everyone wants answers. Who is this man? And what happened to him? Neuropsychiatrist Dr Emma Lewis is asked to assess the patient. This is her field of expertise, this is the chance she’s been waiting for and this case could make her name known across the world. But therein lies the danger. Emma left this same small town in Norfolk fourteen years ago and has taken great pains to cover all traces of her past since then. But now something – or someone – is calling her back. And the more time she spends with her patient, the more alarmed she becomes. Has she walked into danger?

Marathon Writing Competition Venue: Pilbara Room, Ground Floor State Library of WA, 25 Francis Street, Perth Saturday 28 March 2020 10.15am to 5.15pm

Helen Iles Helen Iles, author of Bitter Comes the Storm, Fire in the Heartland, and The Horse Keepers, will give you a series of writing prompts: a word, a phrase, an image or a song to spark your creativity and generate ideas for writing stories, poetry or articles.

About the Author Catherine Steadman is an actress and writer based in North London. She is known for her roles in Downton Abbey and Tutankhamun, starring alongside Sam Neill, as well as shows including Breathless, The Inbetweeners, The Tudors, and Fresh Meat. In 2017 Catherine featured in political thriller Fearless and new BBC comedy Bucket. She also has appeared on stage in the West End including Oppenheimer for the RSC, for which she was nominated for a 2016 Laurence Olivier Award.

There will be ten challenges, each lasting 25 minutes. The winner will receive a trophy and certificate. There are also prizes for second and third places. The aim is to produce first drafts, fresh new material for future writing projects. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation or spelling. Let the words spill out onto the paper. You will be amazed at how much writing you can produce. Bring your favourite pens. Notepaper will be supplied. The cost of the marathon $25 and it is open to all writers, men and women, young and old. To book, call 0429 116 395 or email swwwabookingofficer@gmail.com For more information, visit the Society’s website: www.swwofwa.com.au

BOOKWORM’S CORNER

ALL THINGS BOOKS AND BIBLIOPHILE and book-readers always seem to amass lots of BOftenook-lovers facts, both sane and sensible as well as wierd and wacky. these are book-related - here are some of our favourites: The Earliest Work of Literature The earliest known work of literature is a poem entitled the Epic of Gilgamesh, from Ancient Mesopotamia. Because paper books did not exist at the time, the whole tale is told on twelve tablets. Today, the Epic of Gilgamesh is available on a digital tablet. The First Modern Novel The world’s first novel as we know it was The Tale of Genji, written by Murasaki Shikibu, a noblewoman and lady-in-waiting in 11th century Japan. In the original edition, almost none of the characters had names and were referred to by titles and honorifics because of Heian-era Japanese court etiquette.

One of the twelve tablets with The Epic of Gilgamesh

The First Published Book The first book ever published was the Gutenberg Bible in 1453. It was printed by the inventor of the printing press himself,

Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg. The Gutenberg Bible and the Gutenberg movable type press are considered revolutionary and a major step forward in human progress. The First Book Composed On a Typewriter Very often on lists of odd facts (like this one) we are told that is was Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer based on his own statement in his 1904 autobiography. But in fact, the first fully typewritten manuscript sent to a publisher is considered by historians to be his Life on the Mississippi (1882). It was published on a Remington Number 2 he bought in 1874 for $125 (The equivelent of $4,170.37 in today’s Australian dollars). The Largest Book Ever The largest “book” in the world is located in Manday, Myanmar in Burma at the Kuthodaw Pagoda. The Kuthodaw Pagoda features a collection of seven hundred and thirty marble tablets surrounding the base of its structures, double-sided with text. The collection of tablets bears the complete scripture of Theravāda Buddhism. This large “stone book” was built by King Mindon Min in 1857, and originally featured golden ink and precious stones.

A Remington Number 2 model from 1874 similar to the one Mark Twain used to write Life on the Mississippi

More next month ... 5

BOOKS AND WRITING YOUR VOICE MATTERS SHERENE STRAHAN

HAVE YOU WRITTEN HALF AN ARTICLE?

nobody else had. Yet there was something we didn’t factor in: what it looks like in people’s lives. Television content, any content, can go way beyond the creator’s intentions. For my dad, like a lot of people, TV is company as well as content. The morning shows start his day at home like I start my day in the office: some friendly chitchat, tales of who’s done what, bit of news, things to think about and above all, connection with other people’s lives. Do the people making the shows realise that effect? I didn’t when I was in TV. But after this time with dad, I can see that once we put our work into the world it becomes part of somebody else’s experience. What difference could it make if we were intentional about how we wanted to make people feel? Dad feels connected and included by the morning show folks. I want people to feel encouraged by my writing about bringing out their real voice. How do you want your audience to feel?

’ve read a few things recently that started out just fine. Interesting, useful, practical. I’m drawn in by the heading or images or the opening sentences and I’m enjoying it. I’m also hopeful because it raises a problem that I know could really use a solution. It moves along well. Maybe a story illustrates how it’s having an impact on someone. Or research shows how it’s actually a big issue for quite a few people. Things are looking good and I’m eager to find out what can be done and what I can do. But I never find out because the writer has only done half the job. They've ended before the ending. ‘Ending before the ending’ happens a lot. I’ve done it myself and you probably have too. It happens with even the most experienced and skilled writers. But it leaves the audience unsatisfied and that's not only unfair - it’s bad for your reputation if you do it regularly. So what’s the answer? It depends on why it happens. • Point-less. The writer didn't know the objective for their writing, so they got lost and so did we. They needed to decide what they wanted us to know, do or feel (maybe all three) and work towards that. • Complicated. They tried to cover too much and we were swamped in a sea of information. • Rushing. They rushed to publish without letting their work sit long enough for them to get some emotional distance from it. The passage of time, even a short period, brings clarity about what needs to be improved. Knowing the importance of endings just means being mindful about the process. But sometimes we'll still publish before we've got the ending right. That's okay. Writing is all about getting moving and getting better. In any case, content is part of the digital driftwood that makes up the internet. Here today. Gone by lunchtime. Don't let fear stop you writing and publishing.

THE PARTS NOBODY READS

I got a huge and vastly interesting travel book for my birthday. Great pictures, useful information … and lots of parts that nobody will read. Like the intro. What’s the point of an intro in a travel book? I just skipped to the parts that interested me most. Like the West Australian towns I’ve visited (Cervantes: population 461. Gorgeous place). But what if you’d written the intro, agonised over every word, carefully considered what you’d put in and what you’d leave it. How does it feel to know that most people will probably skip over your intro? I write a lot for my job in school marketing and I know that most of what I write will be skimmed for the most useful information. But I can’t just string together long lines of the keywords. I need to craft the best I can - even knowing most people won’t read it. I have to be ok with that. I have to acknowledge upfront that most of my work will be reduced to marks on a page. And then I have to create the best work I possibly can. Why? Obviously, personal satisfaction comes into it. But there’s also the importance of the full picture. In this beautiful plate, the eye is drawn to the women in the centre. They are the focal point. Yet the supporting details are just as important. Imagine if the artist had not bothered to flesh out the setting, reasoning that ‘Nobody will notice these parts so I may as well leave them out.’ The big picture is as important as the key details. The setting matters just as much as key content. I read the intro by the way. It was... important.

WHAT DOES YOUR CONTENT LOOK LIKE IN SOMEBODY’S LIFE?

I’ve been staying with my eighty-four year old Dad while Mum is in hospital. Dad has Parkinson’s and watches a lot of television. He likes the morning programs then the quiz shows and the news in the late afternoon. After dinner, it’s undemanding company before bed (I suspect Dad needs a break from my talking by then). I haven’t seen the morning shows since producing for them over twenty years ago. At home, we don’t watch TV. I’m not sure our twenty-one year old and nineteen year old sons realise it’s there. They’ve been streaming and YouTubing on their laptops for years. I’d begun to think television was a dying form. But I’m appreciating it in ways that didn’t occur to me until now. When I worked in TV the focus was on the content - doing it faster and better than our competitors, with interviews and pictures that 6

BOOKS AND WRITING SPOOKY STORY COMPETITION SHANNON COYLE

Entries must be prepared as a Word document using 1.5 point leading, with the title of the story in the header, Times New Roman font, size 12, all pages numbered. Save this document as the title of your story. Important: **ENSURE NO AUTHOR NAME APPEARS ANYWHERE ON YOUR ATTACHED ENTRY** Email your entry to competitions@kspwriterscentre.com, ensuring you attach your entry and include the following details in the body of the email: Your full name Your contact number Your postal address Category of entry (Youth or Adult) Entry title Word count of entry Your age (if under 19 years) Your author bio (30 words max), written in 3rd person (i.e. John Smith is a writer from Mundaring) Terms and Conditions: The entry/ies must be the original work of the author and not received any awards or been previously published either in print or online. Late submissions or entries that do not meet the Submission Criteria as above will be disqualified. By entering this competition, you declare the following: 'I certify that this is an original story that has not been published (online or in print) nor received an award in any other competition nor under consideration for any other awards. I have read and agree to the Submission Criteria as published on the KSP Writers' Centre website. I understand that entries which do not reflect the stated conditions or are received later than the deadline may be disqualified.'

he 2020 Little Black Dress Spooky Story Competition is sponsored by Tabetha Beggs of Little Black Dress Productions The deadline for submissions is 29 March 2020. Shortlisted entrants will be notified mid-year by email. Winners will be announced at KSP's Spooky Stories Sundowner, which also combines an anthology launch featuring work from all the winners and shortlisted entrants. This publication is produced by Wild Weeds Press and will be available for sale at the sundowner. The competition is free to enter. There are two categories - Youth (8-18 years) with an entry of a maximum of 500 words and the Adult category (over 18 years): has a maximum of 1,200 words. The theme of the competition is Beneath.

PRIZES

Adult first prize: $100, certificate, complimentary print copy of Spooky Story anthology Adult second prize: $50, certificate, complimentary print copy of Spooky Story anthology Youth first prize: $100, certificate, complimentary print copy of Spooky Story anthology Youth second prize: $25, certificate, complimentary print copy of Spooky Story anthology There will be certificates for being Shortlisted; Highly Commended and Commended.

SUBMISSION CRITERIA

Entries across both categories (youth and adult) must be rated PG (i.e. suitable for readers up to age 14). Entries must reflect the theme (Beneath). Due to the recent high volume of interstate entries and limited administration resources, this competitions is now open to Western Australian residents only. Limit of one entry/one email per person. Bulk submissions will not be considered.

WRITING A REPLY TO PILATE KAREN R TREANOR

for news. I hesitate to use the phrase ‘fake news’, given the twisted way it is used by some, but often that’s just what it is. There is also a regrettable tendency by some news commentators to add colour to facts, rather than just reporting something—why do they say someone has back-flipped or flip-flopped when that person has changed his or her mind about a policy? Surely we should applaud someone who, upon receiving new information or after longer consideration, announces that she is withdrawing her previous decision or comment or policy in favour of one that is more appropriate to the changed circumstance? Or is it only people we like or with whom we agree that we can be generous in describing? “I am determined; you are pig-headed; he is a stubborn S-o-B.” Perhaps we

t may be a measure of how dire things have become when I admit I hesitated to offer my two cents’ worth on the following topic for fear of being hounded and excoriated by the Rabid Right or Loony Left. Then I smacked myself upside the head with a copy of Strunk and White’s Elements of Style and decided to woman-up and give it a go. I have been a writer all my working life, in one form or another. None of it has been Pulitzer-winning, but it has all been as grammatically and syntactically correct as a former student of Mrs. Gladys Macpherson could make it, and as true as available facts allowed. I have worked on three weekly newspapers and three monthly magazines (including this one); worked in curriculum development for English; worked in advertising; done a fair bit of public speaking; and worked for a state MP, researching problems and writing media releases, news stories and speeches. I am presently the semi-retired proprietor of a small publishing company. This background probably places me as an outrider in the formerly healthy herd of journalists. (I’ve chased a few fire trucks, but more likely could be found writing a feature about the last fire dog to ride on Ladder No. 4.) In all the years I have been reading and writing I have not seen such a level of animosity as that which presently seems to be circulating in the air like toxic pollen. There are a number of people who apparently live for the chance to slag off anyone expressing an opinion or comment with which they disagree. Few now would defend to the death other people’s rights to differing opinions, it seems. (Sidebar: You can see the declining quality of education in the mean-minded, often illpunctuated and badly constructed comments in reply to any article in print, online or floating in the air waves. Clearly there are few schools still able to afford good English teachers, and it appears that teachers of Logic and Rhetoric have gone the way of the Muttaburrasaurus. ) There is much bad, sloppy and lazy reporting passing

should be grateful there is any news at all—given the amount of infotainment (great neologism!) that fills the day, finding any hard news is like discovering a piece of real chicken in a commercial pie. Each week I run through the Sunday newspaper’s TV guide with a highlighter pen, so that we don’t miss any shows that we particularly want to see. Whereas at one time there might be two or three shows contending for our attention at 8.30 or 9 pm, now there are often none at all. Most of the science-based shows, behind-the-news stories, and the natural history shows have gone. Only a handful of clever comedy and satire shows survive. If it were not for the ABC and SBS, we'd probably be using our television screen as a blackboard to remind ourselves to get cat food or wine. Fortunately we

The kind of man who always thinks that he is right, that his opinions, his pronouncements, are the final word, when once exposed shows nothing there. But a wise man has much to learn without a loss of dignity. - Sophocles 8

have a large home library - which is getting more tattered by the year. It has been suggested that citizen journalists may go some way towards filling the vacuum left by journalistic shoe leather on the streets. This may be true, but a few hundred people following a face book page or blog do not replace the hundreds of thousands of people who once avidly read the large daily newspapers. Julie Upham distilling the police blotter for the Everett Times every week did a useful service, calling to our attention a rise in housebreaking, or a missing grandfather, or a theft from the local charity shop. Karen Bloggs's sharing of questionable ‘science’ stories or sharing of outright falsities does no good for anyone. Finding the news these days is as complex an operation as shopping for food that hasn’t been filled with some substance you don’t wish to consume. Much more of my life is now taken up with pursuing the real story of something I’ve heard about; just as my shopping trips are filled with much reading of 2 point type on the backs of packages. A good proportion of my on-line time is spent tracking down the origin of something a well-meaning person has shared

as truth and countering it with a citation of fact. Finding an article that blames autism on fluoride in the water without a skerrick of scientific evidence, or one that tells me kale will cure cancer makes me as itchy as running across a badly written and misleading sentence. What can we do to counter fake news, false science, and meanminded editorialising? Call it out when you see it, offer real evidence to refute fakery, and block rubbish from your news feed. You may lose some friends, which is a very sad possibility in these strange times. Pointing out a fact that is opposed to something a friend holds to be truth will not often get you any thanks, and is more likely to cause the friend to react as if you had personally attacked him rather than his incorrect belief. Someone has probably studied this phenomenon and written a learned paper about it. “I believed that typhoid vaccine caused my cousin’s baby to have a cleft palate and you have attacked my belief and snowed me with scientific data and taken away my certainty about why this happened to that baby—I hate you” Above all, be aware of the “argument from incredulity”. Just because you do—or don’t—believe something to be true does not mean that it is—or isn’t—true. “I can’t believe any President of Bloggistan would say a thing like that!” Perhaps you can’t believe it, but when forty-seven journalists, five hundred and three audience members and four national media networks have all reported it, you may have to reassess your belief. What is difficult to believe is that so many people when presented with facts will persist in disbelief. What to do? Clearly there’s a sizeable group of people who don’t wish to be offered eye-witness accounts by an astronomer when they are firmly attached to the prognostications of their favourite astrologer. These people, like sleeping tiger snakes, are better left unprodded. For the rest of us, let us be wary of opinions that are not underpinned by evidence, and let us never share any information we aren’t reasonably certain is true. There are still some upright and straightforward journalists, in print and on the air. There are a number of reliable websites for just about anything from disease to climate to cookery to cultural practices of the Tlingit. Let us consult these sources, especially when we are offered new information that seems a bit unlikely. And let us support the independent media organisations which over time have proved their commitment to truth.

Editor: Just in case you read Ms Treanor’s article under the

assumption that it was about some form of exercise, may I remind you of the first line of Francis Bacon’s last essay On Truth: ’What is truth?” said jesting Pilate, and would not stay for an answer.’ These are the pages you need to check your information: www.snopes.com www.scamwatch.gov.au www.hoaxbusters.org www.factcheck.org www.scambusters.org www.liveabout.com/urban-legends www.truthorfiction.com www.politifact.com

COMMUNITY SILENT REFLUX

JESSI SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

have been outwardly showing symptoms of Silent Reflux since birth as this is the normal for their behaviour. My daughter, Annie, was once a good feeder and the Silent Reflux meant I saw a dramatic change in her, and with the help of a general comment from my local pharmacist, a Child Health Nurse and hours of searching on the internet trying to piece together the symptoms of ‘why is my

ilent reflux was something I’d never ever heard of as a first time Mum. Reflux and colic are the two big names of trouble that other parents and medical professionals throw around as an explanation to why your baby is crying, but Silent Reflux is still relatively unknown and hard to diagnose, and had changed my daughter dramatically. She had gone from a really contented baby - the stereotypical perfect first child, to screaming jaggedly and in pain, after every feed for - sometimes hours at a time, just in time to do the whole process over again. While for my husband and I the time between knowing something was ‘wrong’ and finally getting her some relief, felt like months, in reality was no more than one very long week. There are two common types of reflux that ail babies. Both are caused by the same sphincter at the top of the stomach being under-developed and it’s generally known that symptoms usually start to recede at about the four-month-old mark, however babies may suffer for longer periods of time due to any damage done to the oesophagus, stomach or throat. The reflux that we generally know about is now being referred to as ‘The Happy Chucker’, with the baby’s tendency to bring back up the content of its stomach, usually while being burped, but is generally not too disturbed by it. The issue with this type of reflux is that if the baby is bringing too much up, they’re not getting the nutrients that they need and will start to be hungry all the time and decelerate their growth or get dehydrated. The other type, commonly known as ‘Silent Reflux’, is more akin to heartburn in adults. When burping the baby, the stomach acid, along with the air to burp out, is brought back up the oesophagus and that causes the baby pain and distress. Because the contents of the stomach isn’t being brought back up with the burps, it often goes undetected, or mislabeled under the catch all, Colic. This can be the case especially with parents whose babies

baby crying after being fed?’, we were able to help her. Baby Annie’s story started after her six week needles, I will never know if they were a catalyst or the timing was purely coincidental, but for the first 48 hours, I thought her symptoms were aligning to her reaction to them, with irritability, diarrhoea, small amounts of spit up which she had never done before, and sudden pain after feeding. ADVERTISEMENT We managed Annie, as one is recommended, with small doses of infant paracetamol. But past the 48-hour mark, I was starting to assume something was Member for East Metropolitan Region wrong. I called up the doctor to check her symptoms and they told me that such irritability after eating was not a reaction. The worst twelve hours of Annie’s little life passed after that phone call. She fed and then she screamed until she was absolutely red in the face and could barely make a sound. With this, she was making what we know as her feeding cries, and would actively and enthusiastically take two or three sucks from bottle or breast and restart the jagged crying. Contact Donna Between my husband and I, we tried 9379 0840 | faragher.eastmetro@mp.wa.gov.au everything we could think of to calm her donnafaragher.com.au DonnaFaragherMLC down. Between the off the shelf colic drops Ground Floor 108 Swan Street, Guildford WA 6055 that we had on hand, to more paracetamol,

Donna Faragher JP MLC

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Here to help!

Authorised by S.Calabrese, Liberal Party, 2/12 Parliament Place, West Perth WA 6005.

nothing was calming our daughter down. We took it in turns to walk laps of the hallway in our house gently bouncing her on our shoulders until she slept from exhaustion only to wake up an hour later hungry again and restart the process again. For me, this was particularly distressing as immediately I thought there was something wrong with my milk. Our daughter is 95% breast milk fed, and in my research, I had read of other mums with babies who had milk gluten or dairy allergies that were passed through the mothers’ breast milk. I also read it could take up to two weeks to cleanse the body of traces of these, and that we still would need to give our daughter another week to see if it made any difference! It was happenstance that I went to my local pharmacy to fill a personal prescription that I got talking to one of the pharmacy assistants who asked about my daughter. As I gave her the shortened version of what had been recently going on, and that I was planning to cut dairy and gluten from my diet, she said, ‘look into Silent Reflux first,’ which, coincidentally, was exactly what my husband was reading up about in the car as he waited for me. With a new lead in hand, we researched it for hours. We read medical websites, mummy blogs, watched YouTube videos on the subject. Everything was aligning with Annie’s symptoms, the sudden and pained crying, the arching of the back and extension of the throat and choking and gaging on feeds and the desperate want to feed but inability to. The advice was simple, do everything you could not to let the acid come up the throat. This meant not lying babies flat on their back, trying not to let them gulp too much air to decrease the amount of burps that they would be producing and feed in a more upright position, as well as offer a dummy at any chance that she would take it to promote the saliva that neutralises stomach acid. My husband and I also agreed on a period of Formula only in order to double check it wasn’t something I was eating that was triggering her and to help with the diagnosis. The formula helped to a degree, later we would learn that as formula is a heavier curd than breast milk, it stays in their stomach easier. We proceeded with what we had learnt and had enough success to confidently continue. After thirty-six hours of purely formula, we changed to Dr Brown’s Anti Colic Bottles, and started to re-introduce breast milk back into her system as a first step in

getting her back to breast feeding. When there was little difference in her reaction to breast milk to formula, I knew we were on the right path back to normality. However we weren’t there yet – she was still agitated after feeding, she wasn’t sleeping terribly well during the day and she really resisted going back to sleep after that 3:00am feed, which she used to breeze through. Exhausted, I called up my Child Health Nurse for advice. I told her everything we’d been experiencing and that I was confident that my daughter had Silent Reflux, but I was unsure which way to go now. Could they help me, or would I need to book in and see me GP. Over the phone, we talked through Annie’s symptoms and what we were doing. The Child Health Nurse mentioned that the GP would be my next step, but to also search Padbury Colic Mix, that she’d heard other mums had had a lot a success with, and left me to decide what my next step would be. I chose to drive over to the Padbury Pharmacy and check it out. The pharmacist agreed that my daughter had the symptoms of Silent Reflux and explained to me that commonly the reflux is caused by air bubbles bringing acid up, but also going through the intestine causing cramping and wind. The Padbury Pharmacy does a mix, called ‘The Colic Mix by Steven Litas’ specially for Silent Reflux. Their special blend mixes an antacid with another medication to help gas pass through baby’s intestines reducing cramps, with another to help bring together the bubbles in baby’s stomach so they have one big burp rather than multiple small ones, to lessen the amount of acid rising in the oesophagus. This is all provided with a short questionnaire and consult to assist the pharmacist providing personalised feedback and advice and to ensure that The Colic Mix will work for the baby. The recommendation is for four doses per day, which we try to space out to every six hours, or the closest feed to that six-hour period. The pharmacist said it could take up to a week to reach full effectiveness but Annie had instant relief after the first dose, and has continued to have success on the mixture since. 11

HOUSE AND GARDEN IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE ... MARION LOGIE

any, many times on Facebook and other social media we see pictures of colourful, multi colours fruit and vegetables, usually coupled with offers to sell you, the keen but unsuspecting gardner, seeds to produce these marvels. Alas, these offers are pure fiction, designed to separate you from you well-earned cash.

between organisms that normally would never interbreed. Thus, an antifreeze gene from Arctic flounder has been introduced into strawberries to extend their growing season in northern climates. But contrary to what many people think, this does not make the strawberries ”fishy” any more than the use of porcine insulin turned people into pigs. Dr. Steven Kresovich, a plant breeder at Cornell, said: ”Genes should be characterized by function, not origin. It’s not a flounder gene but a cold tolerance gene that was introduced into strawberries.”

BLUE STRAWBERRIES

For years, photographs have circulated purporting to show the rare and little-known “blue strawberry”: These images are frequently accompanied by a sales pitch for blue strawberry seeds, and a promise that those seeds will grow into a blue fruit. These “blue strawberry” images have also been attached to a rumor that they were genetically modified by scientists in order to create a freeze-resistant strawberry: They’re doing it by artificial transfer of genes from a species of fish called the Arctic Flounder Fish. The Arctic Flounder Fish produces an anti-freeze that allows it to protect himself in freezing waters.They isolated the gene that produces this antifreeze and introduced it

However, there is no evidence that this actually created a blue strawberry, photographs of the resulting product are not readily available online, and there are no credible reports of these genetically altered strawberries ever being produced on a large scale. If you encounter a photograph of a blue strawberry on the internet, it most likely grew out of Photoshop, not a seed. Even less believeable are advertisments for seeds that will, if planted and nurtured properly they claim, grow blue bananas. As any gardner can tell you, bananas do not grow from seed.

They isolated the gene that produces this anti-freeze and introduced it to the strawberry. The result is a strawberry that looks blue and doesn’t turn to mush or degrade after being placed in the freezer. While they’re not in production, research is ongoing. Would you eat blue strawberries? There is a very small element of truth to this claim. Researchers did attempt to introduce an antifreeze gene from an Arctic flounder into strawberries in the late 1990s in order to create a more freeze-resistant fruit: Since all organisms use the same genetic material (DNA), the power of the technique includes the ability to transfer genes

MULTI COLOURED ROSES

According to this message, which circulates via social networking websites as well as email the message claims that the beautiful roses are not “dyed or doctored” but have

been deliberately bred to grow in multiple colours. Many viable seeds … and preferably viable tomato seeds! Assuming commentators have suggested that the image has been digitally they do send you real tomato seeds, what can you expect? If they manipulated. want to keep up the “rainbow” end of the bargain, you’ll probably In fact, the photograph is genuine. However, the claim that only have received mixed seeds including tomatoes of various the roses are specially bred to grow in multiple colours is untrue. colors … and there really are red, pink, orange, yellow, green, The “rainbow” roses are the result of a procedure in which “white,” “purple,” “blue” and “black” tomatoes. (The colours in pigments are absorbed into the stems as the flowers grow. quotations are not going to actually be the pure colour, but a The ‘Happy Flowers’ were designed by Peter Van de Werken, vague approximation. There are no truly white, purple, blue or who owns a flower company in Holland. The firm sells only multi- black tomatoes.) coloured roses and chrysanthemums but is also looking to do pot There will certainly not be half a dozen colours on the same plants. plant: most tomatoes will mature from medium green to light The roses are now distributed and sold around the world. green to their final single colour, whatever that is, so there will be While you certainly can’t grow them, you can get a version more than one colour on the plant at once. using a white rose and food coloring. The rainbow effect is much However, the seed blend may well include seeds of red easier to achieve with white or light-colored flowers such as tomatoes, yellow tomatoes and green tomatoes, for example. At carnations and daisies. If it has to be a rose, you can do the same least that would honestly give you “rainbow tomatoes,” even if project, but expect it to take longer. the colors were absolutely nothing like those in the photo. Start with a white rose bud. Trim the stem of the rose so that So, what lesson can we learn from this? Firstly, that there it is not too long. Carefully split the base of the stem into three are plenty of scam artists out there using faked photos of sections. Make the cuts lengthwise up the stem six centimetres. vegetables, fruits and flowers to bilk you out of your money. The cut stem is fragile and likely to break. Carefully bend the cut This is easy to fix: only order seed from reputable seed sections slightly away from each other. Now, bend the stems into companies! three contains (e.g., shot glasses), each containing a single colour Secondly, and most importantly: If it doesn’t look real, it of dye and a bit of water. probably isn’t! You may start to see colour in the petals as quickly as half an hour, but expect to let the rose soak up dye overnight or possibly for a couple of days. The petals will be the three colors, plus the mixed colors, for petals receiving water from two parts of the stem at once. This way, you’ll get the whole rainbow. Once the flower is coloured, you can trim off the cut section of stem and keep it in fresh water or a homemade flower food solution. Companies that sell seeds on the Internet using obviously unreal photos are generally fly-by-night operations: here today, gone tomorrow. Let’s hope they at least send you something, preferably

FOOD WISH ON FLORIDA INGRID SHEVELIN

Wish on Florida is at 198/200 Florida Road (where Mozambik used to be). It describes itself as an “Upmarket Italian Restaurant/ Bar in the heart of Durban specializing in gourmet pizza & pasta with a vast offering of Champagne & Wine.” And, obviously, lots of lovely, colourful cocktails. The space is extensive and incorporates several separate levels, as well as a courtyard with fountain and wishing well, and a bar. The interior look is plush and the décor is best described as eclectic. Possibly this was the interior designer’s response to a brief to give each area its own identity and, to some extent, it works. Although there is far more gold paint flung around than I’m comfortable with, but it didn’t bother Trevor. The lunch time we were there the vibe was buzzy and the staff super friendly and super efficient. Now there are two kind of restaurants in my book. One focuses on serving the best food possible, the other is more interested in being a party venue. It opens until late and the food is secondary to the experience.

My good friend and the doyenne of South Africa food writers and restaurant reviewers is Ingrid Shevlin of ‘Shrewd Food’. She recently visited a new restaurant on Florida Road in Durban called ‘Wish’. It was too good a review not to share with you all.

ish on Florida opened to much fanfare in mid-December with a glittering event and a guest list of the crème de la crème of Durban’s socialists, VIPs and influencers. By all accounts many Champagne bottles popped in celebration. My friend Trevor and I did not make the guest list. But no matter. It wasn’t long before we were sitting on Wish’s plush seats in happy anticipation of all that this new-kid-on-the-Florida-block had to offer.

Wish on Florida

Chicken livers in a barbecue sauce

Wish leans towards the latter. And I’m not being judgemental here as Wish’s young, cool and hip clientele was having a ball the day we were there. I could see they were loving it all. But in my mind It's clear more effort has been put into the drinks than the food menu. Unsurprisingly, the menu does not inspire. A bit of this. A bit of that. But gourmet Italian food it is not. There are seven starters ranging for arancini (rice balls) to butter chicken vol-au-vents. There are a few salads ranging from hummus and Greek salad to a spring roll bowl. There are six pizza options with pretty standard toppings; nine pasta dishes, ranging from beef and cheese ravioli, to creamy pulled pork. There are two steaks, a lamb chop dish a chicken wrap and a meat platter, served shisanyama* style to share, for R700 (A$70). Seven seafood dishes include prawns, crayfish, R398 (A$40), kingklip with veggies,

Wish on Florida 14

caprese focaccia apparently

R205 (A$20.50) and a seafood platter to share, R900 ($90), if I remember correctly. I started with chicken livers served in a barbecue sauce (the other option was peri peri), which I thought a little different, served with a slice of toasted bruschetta, R70 (A$7). It tasted as if the barbecue sauce had simply been added to chicken livers already flavoured with peri peri. As a result, the overall flavour was very sweet with some heat. It was pleasant enough and the livers were decently cooked. Trevor opted for what was described as stuffed caprese focaccia, R69. In realty it was three rounds of dough that resembled, and were the texture of, hockey pucks (pucks are made of vulcanized rubber), topped with melted cheese,

tomato and sprinkled with herbs, R69 (A$7). The dish was inedible. Let’s leave it at that. For my main I choose a pasta dish described as Ocean Fresh; mussels, prawns and calamari tossed in a creamy tomato sauce served with parmesan on the side. Now here is the crazy thing. If you order a pasta dish at Wish you pay for the sauce and then extra for the pasta of your choice. Never come across that before, except If you are ordering something like gluten-free pasta. So my sauce and seafood cost me R160 (A$16), with R18 (A$2) extra for tagliatella (also for penne). Gluten-free pasta was R25 (A$2.50) and pasta rice R24 (A$2.40) extra. The dish was a generous serving topped with three large and nicely cooked prawns, chewy calamari and a decent portion of mussels. The sauce was not unpleasant, just utterly unremarkable and the pasta was a tad overcooked. Trever went for a cranberry chicken pizza, R99 (A$10) plus R30 (A$3) extra for a crispy base. Topping was so generous it pretty much guaranteed a soggy base. But hey, you can’t have it all. Trever was okay enough with it (anything was better than the “pucks”) while I thought it was just meh. We didn’t stay for dessert. I can see that owners Wayne Ndlovu and Benny Maverick have

Seafood pasta

put a lot of love and money and attention into Wish, and I admire their commitment. And while I understand totally that Trevor and I are not their target market, I do think with very little effort – and some good advice – they could offer a more interesting menu and better food. As the famous London restaurant critic for the Times, the late AA Gill, said: it doesn’t take any more time to produce good food as it does to produce bad food. Also, it makes no sense to spend a fortune on the look and save on the cook. Still, I wish them luck with their new venture. Editor: shisanyama* is a Zulu word meaning ‘burnt meat’ and refers to a communal bbq for several families. The Afrikaans for the same thing is Braaivleis which means ‘grilled meat’.

Shrewd Food’s Ingrid Shevlin 15

FEDERAL NOTES HASLUCK HAPPENINGS

we are supporting the Darlington Community with $340,000 in Federal funding through the Sporting Infrastructure Grants. Patricia Cook, Chair of the Darlington Community Recreation Advisory Group said that the funding will help the community realise its vision of sharing a beautiful recreational park right in the heart of Darlington. “We can now embark on building our vision of extending the skatepark that caters for all wheeled sports of varying ages and abilities,” Ms Cook said. “The adjacent community garden will provide shade and feature an area for community groups to grow fresh produce, along with acting as a community hub for the surrounding residents.” “The redevelopment will transform the skatepark and community garden into a place where older members of the community can connect with younger people, and share their wisdoms, hopefully inspiring young people to look after their community facility.” This grant is part of the Morrison Government’s commitment to ensure communities have the facilities they need to enjoy sport and recreational activities.

his summer has brought out the very best in Australia. People from all walks of life coming together to support, comfort and assist family, friends and strangers. There is an immense sense of pride our nation holds for its camaraderie, and we have shown that pride to the world. As a young child, growing up in the country, I can remember facing fire. But a stronger memory is how we always came together as a community to support one another, and to make sure that we would get through. This is what I love about our country, and about Australians. This Australia Day, we should embrace what’s great about Australia, our community, our achievements and the things that make us proud to be Aussie. Australia Day is a day to celebrate Indigenous, British and multi-cultural history and look forward in unity with a determination to build a stronger and more rewarding Australia for all. So on Australia Day I ask that you first and foremost celebrate the good things in life, celebrate with family and friends, with community, and have thought for those who are struggling – reach out to your neighbours and be a mate. And while you do so, take a moment to reflect upon our Indigenous history; respect the place of Indigenous Australian culture in modern Australia, our language, art, dance and stories; and celebrate the contributions of Indigenous Australians to our communities and society. For it is worth celebrating, and it is worth remembering. This is our story, and this is the story of Australia. It’s the story of us. You are part of it as much as I am, and together we can walk together towards a brighter future for all Australians.

KALAMUNDA NIGHT MARKETS

It was such a nice night to be out chatting with locals and seeing all the creative stalls at the Kalamunda Night Markets last Friday. I popped into the newly opened Allure Interior Design, owned by local Lisa Beeby who has incredible Interior design skills and

SWAN BOWLING CLUB - CLUBROOM RENOVATIONS

The Swan Bowling Club will now be able to undertake much needed renovations of their clubroom, supported by $40,000 in federal funding. These renovations will restore the clubroom to its full potential and allow the Club to maximise its community engagement. Jilian Bacon, Secretary of the Swan Bowling Club said the Swan Bowling Club has been around for 123 years, and the current clubroom, of which was built in the 50’s requires some much needed maintenance," “This grant will enable us to restore the clubrooms to their full potential, doubling our capacity to hold events and cater for larger groups." Our local sports clubs are the heart of our local community and I know this project by the Swan Bowling Club will benefit our community now and into the future.

DARLINGTON SKATE PARK & COMMUNITY GARDEN REDEVELOPMENT

Supporting local sporting infrastructure projects is key to helping the community keep active. That is why 16

also promotes sustainable re-upholstery. The Kalamunda Night Market is a great way to support small and local business, and enjoy an evening in the Hills

SCHOOLS IN HASLUCK TO BENEFIT FROM NEW PROJECT FUNDING

Member for Hasluck, the Hon Ken Wyatt MP announced Ftheederal eleven projects at schools in Hasluck to benefit students and community.

Mr Wyatt said the Morrison Government was providing over $196,000 to fund projects in Hasluck. “We recognise the important role that schools play in our community and that’s why we’re funding small projects that will make a big difference at our local schools,” Mr Wyatt said. “The school communities in Hasluck nominated the projects they most wanted and the Morrison Government stepped up with funding support through the $30.2 million Local Schools Community Fund. This is additional investment on top of record funding of $310 billion for schools. “These local school projects will go a long way in helping our students and the local school community in Hasluck when they are completed.”

INDUSTRY PILOTS ANNOUNCED FOR YOUTH JOBS PATH

Federal Member for Hasluck, the Hon Ken Wyatt AM MP has welcomed the Morrison Government’s announcement in choosing TCE Services Pty Ltd to pilot an industry-led employment pathway for young people in Hasluck. The industry pilot will combine elements of Youth Jobs PaTH employment services and other support to connect young people to employers in the Transport and Logistics sector.

Minister for Employment, Skills, Small and Family Business, Senator the Hon Michaelia Cash, said the pilots are a response to calls from industry for greater input in selecting, training, matching and supporting young job seekers. “The Morrison Government is delivering on creating more employment pathways to real jobs for young people,” Minister Cash said. “The $10 million Youth Jobs PaTH industry pilots will equip young people with the training and experience they need to walk directly into jobs where we know there is demand for more workers.” Mr Wyatt said being selected for an industry pilot was a great boost for young people in Hasluck. “The pilot will provide young people with real-world training and work experience, while testing the effectiveness of industry-led job pathways” Mr Wyatt said. “I am committed to delivering opportunities and employment for the people of Hasluck. This pilot will deliver practical and tailored support so our young people can get a head start on a rewarding career.” Since commencing in April 2017, Youth Jobs PaTH has helped 53,700 young job seekers into work. Youth Jobs PaTH helps young people learn the skills that employers need, and gives them a chance to demonstrate those skills in the workplace. Businesses can also receive a wage subsidy of up to $10,000 for eligible participants, to help settle them into the workplace. For more information on the outcome of the Youth Jobs PaTH industry pilots tender visit: www.employment.gov. au/request-expression-interest-youth-jobs-path-industrypilots-2020-2021 HON KEN WYATT AM, MP Federal Member for Hasluck Minister for Indigenous Australians

WHAT’S ON IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN EVENT LISTED IN THIS COLUMN RING our office on 0418 934 850 Entries for non-profit entities are free.

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - Glen Forrest Group Every Monday evening We meet at 7.00pm at the Glen Forrest Uniting Church, Mc Glew Rd, Glen Forrest. Call Dermot 0488 905 211 or John 0448 074 536 or the Perth Office (all hours) 9325 3566.

Monday Mornings The Art Group meets at Baskerville Hall from 9am – 12pm for just $5.00 per session. Group leader Gilly can help and advise with most media. Feel free to come and have a look and meet our local artists – they are a very friendly lot, new members welcome! For more information call 9296 1976 or enquiries@swanvalleycommunitycentre.com www.swanvalleycommunitycentre.com

AUSTRALIAN BREASTFEEDING ASSOC. Discussion groups, guest speakers, morning tea. Free breastfeeding counselling. Expectant mothers, mothers, babies and children welcome. National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2686 is a 24 hour 7 days a week service.

EASTERN DISTRICTS MACHINE KNITTERS

Friday - second and fourth We meet from 9:00am to noon at 10 Brockman Road, Midland. Feel welcome to join us for morning tea and see how easy it is to make your own garments. For more information contact Pat 9309 3260; Liz 9572 7074 or Pat 9295 2793.

Swan/Mundaring Group meets every Monday, 9:30-11:30am at the Gumnuts Family Centre, 8 Mudalla Way, Koongamia.  A qualified ABA counsellor is present at each meeting to give confidential information and support on breastfeeding issues. Contact Natalie 9572 4971. Kalamunda Group meets fortnighly on a Thursday, 9:3011:30am at the Maida Vale Baptist Church, Edney Road, High Wycombe. Contact Jenny 9252 1996.

SWAN HARMONY SINGERS

Wednesdays Come and sing with us! Swan Harmony Singers is a community choir that meets, 7-9pm, to sing music ranging from jazz to pop, plus the occasional classic. No auditions. Join us at the Salvation Army Church Hall, 371 Morrison Rd, (opposite Swan View Primary School), Swan View. Enquiries: call Anna on 9299 7249, or Chris on 9298 9529 or 0435 062 728.

Northam Group meets each second Tuesday of the month at the Bridgeley Community Centre, Wellington Street, Northam 10am to Noon. Fourth Tuesday each month at Toodyay Playgroup, Stirling Terrace, Toodyay. Noon to 2pm. Please phone Louisa 9574 0229.

TALKING HORSES

ELLENBROOK COMMUNITY WEIGHT LOSS CLUB

Wednesday evenings 6:00pm The WA Horse Council equestrian radio program is now in its seventh year. The programme is broadcast on the Community Radio Station 91.3 SportFM. To ensure that your club, event, breed or business gets coverage, call Diane Bennit 0409 083 617.

Every Tuesday evening We meet from 6.45pm to 8.00pm at the Woodlake Community Hall, Meeting room 1 Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly support group at low cost. Male and females of all ages welcome. Contact Shirley 9276 7938 shirleysardelich@aapt.net.au.

THE ZONTA CLUB OF SWAN HILLS

HILLS CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP

Dinner meeting 3rd Wednesday February – November Meets Swan Mundaring area. ( venue to be advised ) Zonta International envisions a world in which women’s rights are recognized as human rights and every woman is able to achieve her full potential. In such a world, women have access to all resources and are represented in decision making positions on an equal basis with men. In such a world, no woman lives in fear of violence. Guests are welcome to join us please contact Ruth 08 92729442 or ruth@amsaustralia.com.

1st Wednesday of each month Hilltop Grove Estate, 1645 Jacoby Street, Mahogany Creek. Morning tea provided, between 10.30 - 12.00 noon. Enquiries Terina 9572 1655.

MORRIS DANCING

All welcome. It’s like bush dancing, with sticks and bells. It’s aerobic exercise and great fun! Tuesdays 7-9pm practice, Guildford Town Hall, cnr James St and Meadow St, Guildford. And drinks later at the Woodbridge Hotel with live Irish music For more information please contact: Christine Hogan: 9279 8778 Email: madtattersmorris@iinet.Net.Au Website: madtattersmorris.myclub.org.au

JUST A PIECE - TEXTILE KINSHIP Fortnightly Fridays This textile art group meets every fortnight Fridays 9.30 to 12.00 at Just Add Passion on Richardson Rd Stoneville. $5 per session, everyone welcome Check us out on Facebook or text Janette on 0407 633 771.

SWAN WOODTURNERS GROUP

The group meets in the rear hall of The Senior Citizens’ Centre, The Avenue, Midland, at 1-00pm. on 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Tuesday, and at 7-00pm. on 2nd Tuesday of each month. A demonstration and cuppa are the norm. Men and Women are welcome. Enquiries to Ted 9295 4438.

ELLENBROOK AND DISTRICT MENS SHED INC.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday We are open at 4 Transit Way Ellenbrook from 10.00am to 3.00pm. Potential members can turn up on those days and there will be someone to explain what we do and give membership 18

WHAT’S ON details. Annual fees are low and members can do their own thing, participate in projects for the community or simply just come in for a chat and a cuppa. We are considering extending our days to include Saturdays or evenings if there is enough interest.

MUSTARD SEED - DISCOVERING COMPUTERS

Mustard Seed is a nineteen year old non-profit organisation and teaches all aspects of everyday computing. Ability levels from beginners onwards. Want help with Windows 10? In need of instruction with your Mac computer? Have an iPad or Android tablet and don’t know what it will do? We can help. Cost is $2 per session. Classes are held at 56 McGlew Road, Glen Forrest. To gain a place enrol now by phoning 0491 044 805 or emailing: mustardcomputers@gmail.com W: noodlebytes.com

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE SWAN VALLEY HOMESCHOOL FAMILY PLAYGROUP

Thursday mornings 9:15am to 11:15am Older siblings welcome to join playgroup in a rural setting in the Swan Valley. Normal playgroup guidelines apply for children zero to five years old. Baskerville Hall, 129 Memorial Drive, Baskerville. For more information ring 0419 922 792 or email enquiries@ swanvalleycommunitycentre.com

MIDLAND MEN’S SHED

Call us on 0407 888 759 or email: singaustraliaswanvalley@outlook.com for inquiries.

THE HILLS CHOIR

Monday Evenings Do you enjoy singing and joining with others to make beautiful music? Come and join the Hills Choir. We meet from 7.30 to 9.30pm at the Uniting Church on Stoneville Road, Mundaring. Contact Margie on 9295 6103 for further information. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS YEAR - SING! If you enjoy singing and have been thinking about joining a choir, now is the ideal time to do it. Community choirs are starting to learn a new repertoire of songs, which means you get in on the ground floor as everyone is learning together, and you don’t have to worry about catching up with the rest of the group. Swan Harmony Singers are always keen to welcome new members at the start of a new year. They meet every Wednesday night from 7-9pm, and have just moved to a new home at the Midland Arts Centre in Cale Street (opposite Midland Gate). You don’t need to have a musical background and there are no auditions. You just need to enjoy singing and be prepared to make a reasonable commitment to attend rehearsals regularly. The choir sings a wide variety of music ranging from jazz and pop to the occasional classical piece, and gives performances towards the end of the year. Interested? Come along on a Wednesday evening and give it a try. If you’d like to know more, contact Maureen on 9299 6588.

Every Tuesday morning We meet socially every Tuesday morning from 9.30am to 11.30am in the Bellevue Baptist Church Hall and our usual attendance is around fifty-five. At least once a month we have a guest speaker on a range of topics. We also go on excursions to various places of interest (e.g. HMAS Stirling, Aviation Museum, Fremantle Ports, ALCOA, etc.). Our workshop with wood working and metal working is in Midvale and for the opening hours and further details please contact Brian Beer on 0411 833 055. Also in operation is our music group – the Rockin’ Shedders which is going from strength to strength and their repertoire of songs increases each week. For more information on the Shed please contact Kevin Buckland on 0417 961 971 or email: kebinsv@tpg.com.au. THE HILLS CHOIR Mondays We practice on Mondays from 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm at the Uniting Church in Stoneville Road, Mundaring. We are looking for Sopranos, Altos, Tenors and Basses over the age of sixteen to join us. We sing a range of sacred and secular music in four parts. Please phone Margie on 9295 6103, email the thehillschoir@ gmail.com or visit their website www.hillschoir.org.au. SING AUSTRALIA SWAN VALLEY Monday nights We are a community singing group in the Swan Valley and welcome anyone who loves to sing. There are no auditions or expectations on ability. We welcome absolute beginners and experienced singers. Singing has enormous health and wellbeing benefits which helps promote joy and positivity in people’s lives. Come along, give it a go and bring a friend for a great night of singing. The group meets 7.30 to 9.30pm in Baskerville Hall, 129 Memorial Ave, Baskerville. 19

COMMUNITY ANNIE’S COLLECTIVE WONDERLAND DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

s you drive around the UK, if you’re at all interested Aeverywhere in old, antique and vintage you will see just about ‘Antique Centre - 60 Dealers. Places like Leominster (pronounced ‘Lem-stir’) seem to have huge buildings convered into collective antique stores with the dealers taking turns to man the counters or even hiring a manager. This means that you can see specialist collections and dealers, rents are shared, and dealers have time to source new (old) material while business continues. We don’t seem to have the same concept here in Australia yet. Or we didn’t until Annie had a very bright idea when Swan Settlers Markets was floated as a concept. If you love vintage, retro, antique, flea markets, shabby chic and just plain quirky, I expect you already know about Annie’s shop at Taylor’s Art House Annie’s Vintage Wonderland. If you don’t, immediately put it on your ‘To Visit’ list. But the shop at Taylor’s, even with knocking into the next building is too small for Annie’s wonderland of wonders, so she has joined up with Swan Settlers Markets and rented a huge area in it, acting as a collective with a number of other dealers and suppliers. She even has her eye on an expansion within the markets, which would double the area and dealers’ spaces available. Annie has moved some of the more portable items from Taylor’s, raiding her large stock from the warehouse and buying in new old stock. ‘New’ seems like an odd word to use, but ‘old’ seems less accurate - perhaps ‘odds and ends’ might be better. A sampling of her goods might include, vintage jewellery and clothing, collectable stamps, matchbooks and boxes, suitcases, tins, Australiana, toys, books, walking sticks, 50’s furniture and she is one of only five Annie Sloan’s Chalk Paint stockists in Western Australia. Annie is a real person, unlike Betty Crocker, and is on hand to talk, deal and her happy cheerfulness is a huge asset to her shop.

COMMUNITY

The collective is open from Thursday to Sunday, plus Public Holidays from 10:00am to 3:30pm, but if you ‘like’ her on Facebook - facebook.com/AnniesVintageWonderland/ you can shop on her ‘Annie’s Vintage Wonderland Online Wonders’ pretty much all the time as treasures are photographed and posted in batches. Prices are open to negotiation, so now’s the time to call in and have a browse, make an offer and collect something you’ve been seeking for ages - be it a 1963 Beano comic, a matchbook from the Playboy Club, a plastic soldier originally found in a Cornflakes packet, a street name or a dresser in peppermint green with orange trim. Whatever it might be - Annie may well have it, will get it, or knows where there is one. And while you’re there, you can browse the vast range of other stallholders at Swan Settlers Market - the newest addition to tourism in the Swan Valley. If you’re a dealer looking to open a low-rent shopfront, talk to Annie - she can probably help.

FILM REVIEWS Film: Director: Reviewer:

of 1940? Again you will find this film fascinating as the villagers go through the seasons - plowing, sowing, reaping and fruit harvesting before the winter snow. This is not an entertainment. You will not leave the cinema laughing or feeling stimulated and inspired. A Hidden Life is an Art film. And as we are frequently informed, the purpose of Art is to hold up a mirror to society and confront us with the issues of our existence, with the meaning of life. Note to filmmakers: If you wish to communicate some message to an audience then you must first gain and then hold its attention. Sadly, when I saw this film a number of people walked out and those of us left seemed to be looking at their clocks every few seconds. When will it end? Art films do not reveal the story with a simple scene. Not when you can do it with thirty brief but extreme close ups of people expressing silent stress and grief. The screenplay is based on a biography by Ena Putz - it is simple and there are no subplots. Austrian men conscripted during the Second World War were required to swear an oath of allegiance to Adolf Hitler. One man regards Hitler as evil and refuses to do this. Obviously there are consequences. In a previous review I commented on recent attempts in film to represent the moral efforts of people living in an evil dictatorship. In the 1930s, it was extremely difficult to live and work in Germany unless you were a member of the party. Thus even if you were not actively promoting National Socialism, you were forced into a passive acceptance of it. But there were those who resisted – see Alone in Berlin, The Book Thief, Schindler’s List, Valkyrie and details of the White Rose Society in Sophie Scholl. In A Hidden Life, peasant farmer Franz Jagerstatter (played almost silently by August Diehl) is not an active protester, as in the above films. He is a passive resister. It is pointed out to him that his refusal to take the Hitler oath will have absolutely no effect on the war. No one will ever know about it (hence the title). It leads to a consideration of how should conscientious objectors be handled? If they are citizens of our country then they may be regarded as traitors although, as the “good guys”, we usually end up finding them jobs as stretcher-bearers. If they are citizens of an enemy country then they are heroes resisting tyranny. Even so, Franz does a great

A Hidden Life Terrence Malick James Forte

Passive Resistance erhaps you are a person who enjoys spending three hours in a darkened room viewing photos from someone’s holiday. No conversation. Just sit still and watch. Did I mention three hours?

If so then A Hidden Life is for you. It is an almost uninterrupted sequence of beautiful shots of Austrian alpine scenery. It is a place where I would love to live. Or perhaps you are fascinated by alpine farming methods

Film: Director: Reviewer:

1917 Sam Mendes James Forte

Forgiving the Flaws 917 really does not need a review. Apart from the many thousands of words already written, plus the YouTube videos on how it was made, plus the major awards already won, the simple word-of-mouth recommendations mean that many of those interested in war films have already seen it. Put simply, this is an awe inspiring piece of film making. Ostensibly, the film is shown as one long continuous take. A hand-held camera gets up close to the action and keeps rolling for two hours. (Actually there are several long-duration shots but they have been joined so ingeniously that you should not allow yourself to be distracted by looking for them – at least not on a first viewing.)

deal better than his comrades who go on a one-way trip to the appalling hardship of the Eastern Front. Written and directed by Terrence Malick and edited by Rehman Nizar Ali, the team clearly could not bear to throw away the magnificent shots they had of the Austrian Tyrol. It would have been better at a third of the length. The film was nominated for the Palm d’Or at Cannes and won several minor awards. In summary, this is a visually stunning film with capable acting and a simple if compelling story. It is a critic/reviewer’s task to try and match up a film and its audience. If you are looking for a movie with philosophical and spiritual content and feel inclined to immerse yourself in grief and pain, with the only redeeming feature being the beauty of the Tyrol, then you probably regard Malick as a genius and this film is for you. Did I mention three hours? A Hidden Life is currently showing at Luna Cinemas. ~oOo~

Other films have attempted this: Russian Ark, Birdman, the Dunkirk promenade scene in Atonement. Apparently even Hitchcock with Rope (1948) - although I have not seen that film. The result is to immerse the viewer in the personal space of the protagonists so that for that real time interval, you go on the epic journey with them. When it works, the result takes your breath away. The intimacy of the danger is emphasized – in fact it can be overwhelming. Writer and director Sir Sam Mendes (Road to Perdition, Skyfall) has based the story on the many experiences related by his grandfather who was a message runner in the Great War on the Western Front. The cinematography by Roger Deakins and camera work is second to none. It must win an Oscar. With a budget of a hundred million dollars, the authenticity of trenches, uniforms and weapons is noteworthy. Our first experience of no-mansland as the two protagonists try 23

to get through the barbed-wire entanglements is exceptional. There is, however, a problem regarding the premise for the soldier’s mission. I am not spoiling your viewing (it is covered in the trailer and also in the film’s first few minutes in the dugout) by stating that it is simply not believable. In this one particular sector of the front, the German army has quietly withdrawn from its trenches to a heavily fortified and much more defensible line. Rather than take their valuable heavy guns with them, they have blown them up. Really? There has been no British attempt to move forward and occupy the abandoned German positions. However, despite clear skies and aerial reconnaissance, two battalions are about to attack the new and heavily fortified line. An attack which will be catastrophic and must be prevented. (One is reminded of the final scene of Gallipolli with Mel Gibson carrying a message to halt the suicidal charge.) Two lance-corporals (played by George MacKay and DeanCharles Chapman) are sent forward, carrying a letter from the general (Colin Firth) to abort the attack. Really? Their chances of getting through in time – if at all – are slim. Has the general considered the alternatives? Sure it is unlikely that telephone lines would have been laid to the new position, but how about radio? Or carrier pigeon? Or a motorcycle dispatch rider? Or even a vehicle (the messengers encounter British trucks during their mission). Or best of all, send an aircraft to drop a message to the officer commanding the attacking force (Benedict Cumberbatch). Or why not use all of them? Because without that idiotic premise we would not have a film. Our two young soldiers have to do this. (One of them has a brother in the attacking force – just to increase the pressure on him to succeed). Fortunately, I can state that it is not difficult to ignore the stupidity of the reasons

for the soldiers’ mission (the Great War featured plenty of stupidity) and sit forward on the edge of your seat experiencing the moment-to-moment dangers. 1917 is a masterpiece of film-making. Currently showing. Very Highly Recommended, five stars. ~oOo~ Film: Director: Reviewer:

The Lighthouse Robert Eggers Chris McRae

Perfect Horror irstly, the unique surroundings of the pine trees at the Somerville Outdoor Cinema at the University of Western Australia is the perfect venue for any horror or thriller film. It gives you an eerie sense of isolation and silence that no standard cinema can provide. As part of the Perth Festival and Lotterywest Film series, Robert Eggers’ independent psychological horror The

Lighthouse was featured last month and is now showing in cinemas. This is not a film for the fain hearted, with Eggers well known for his supernatural and atmospheric work in 2015’s The Witch. Right from the outset, it is clear that this film is unique and is an aesthetic delight. It is shot entirely in black and white and filmed in a square 1.19: 1 aspect ratio which works well for both the era and the visual nature of the film. The stunningly bleak cinematography and landscape is a character in itself with things such as rain, wind and soundscapes used in a relentlessly effective manner. It is unsettling for all the senses which is exactly what a good horror/ thriller should provide. The 19th Century story centres around Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), who accepts a job working as a hired hand at a remote and isolated lighthouse under the watchful eye of Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe), a bitter and irritable former captain. Winslow must undertake the most tedious of jobs as a tense relationship forms between the two men. Soon, the relentless rain, wind and 24

never-ending fog horn sounds begin to take their toll and a mix of alcohol combined with eventual cabin fever and a never ending violent storm begin to send the two men mad with hallucinations of mermaids and tentacles taking over their thoughts and a mysterious secret hiding at the top of the lighthouse. The uneasy nature of this film is incredible with both Pattinson and Dafoe providing memorable performances, demonstrating an insane descent into madness. The visuals of both the landscape and the bizarre nature of some of the visions that the men experience compliment the insanity and eventual violence that takes place. Just as effective is the soundtrack and soundscape with a never-ending drone combining with the sharp sounds of gulls, wind and water proving unnerving and highly effective. This film is highly unique, leaving audiences with an uneasy feeling and works brilliantly! It is a beautiful looking film and the relentless nature of it will leave you wide eyed and with plenty of food for thought. It will not be everyone’s cup of tea but for thriller fans or for fans of arthouse cinema, it is a thrilling treat for the senses. Currently showing. Very Highly Recommended. ~oOo~ Film: 1917 Director: Sam Mendes Reviewer: Chris McRae One Shot Perfection ecently in modern cinema there has been a resurgence of war films, bringing important stories to a new generation. Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker took out the Best Picture Oscar in 2008 and films such as Dunkirk, Hacksaw Ridge and American Sniper have all portrayed highly effective and personalised accounts of the horrors of war. Now comes 1917, an ambitious and artistic project from Skyfall director Sam Mendes.

This is a war picture unlike any other with Mendes teaming up once again with renowned Cinematographer Roger Deakins (winning an Oscar for Blade Runner 2049 on his 15th nomination). Taking a leaf out of the book of Alejandro Inarritu’s 2014 Best Picture winning masterpiece Birdman, this hauntingly beautiful film is filmed in one continuous shot which gives it moments of intimacy as well as sweeping sequences of pure adrenaline. The story revolves around two young British soldiers, Lance Corporal Blake (Dean Charles-Chapman) and Lance Corporal Schofield (George MacKay) who are assigned the seemingly impossible and incredibly dangerous task of delivering a message to a regiment on the other side of the Western Front during WW1. They must cross deep into enemy territory to deliver the message which will prevent their regiment attacking and walking directly into a German trap, causing a certain massacre. The premise is simple but that is what makes this film so effective. The perilous journey of these two young men is impossible to not invest in. Viewers not only witness the gut wrenching conditions and challenges with which they are faced, but feel them in point of view style. Every frame is meticulously created and tracking shots, which include an iconic sequence of MacKay’s Schofield sprinting across a battlefield whilst a wave of British soldiers attack amidst deadly explosions, are perfectly executed. This is very much an ensemble piece anchored by the poignant performances of Chapman and MacKay. They are supported very ably by short yet effective scenes from the likes of Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott, Richard Madden and Colin Firth. The scene in which Schofield encounters a young French woman (Claire Duburcq) hiding out amidst the terror with an infant is an incredibly effective juxtaposition of violence and tenderness. This single shot masterpiece is a film which demands to be seen on a large screen and the visuals and editing are the heroes which make it memorable and incredibly special. There are moments of exhilaration, fear and sheer visceral terror and the viewer is immersed in the stories of the soldiers in a time of fear and sadness. The sheer tenacity of the human spirit shines through and 1917 is an absolute triumph for Mendes and all involved! Highly Recommended. 25

TV WITH CHRIS FEBRUARY 2020 WHAT’S COMING UP

even more difficult for Joe to hide both his identity and his past crimes. Badgely portrays Joe in a way which is strikingly effective. His actions pitch him as the bad guy but his charm has the audience seesawing between just whose side they should be on. New love interest Love is played effectively by Victoria Pedretti, who strikes a good balance between her love for Joe and her ultimate concern for her family. Bringing the story to a new city and introducing new characters and surroundings gives the story a fresh feel but the mood and atmosphere of the original is still very much present. A strong second entry and with a third season on the way, a cliffhanger ending and Love set to return, this psychological thriller continues to be a hit for Netflix. ~oOo~

etflix, Stan and most recently Disney N + have transformed the television landscape. Netflix alone racked up seventeen nominations in last month’s Golden Globe Awards between original films and series’. We take a look this month at some of the offerings to land this month.

Title: YOU ~ SEASON 2 Network: Netflix After a terrifyingly chilling and unsettling first season, viewers couldn’t get enough of Netflix’s dangerous psychological thriller You. The season return sees Joe (Penn Badgley) attempting to escape his dark and bloody past, making

Title: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: THE MUSICAL: THE SERIES Network: Disney+ It has been fourteen years since the Disney Channel surprised everyone with the eventual family favourite that was High School Musical. Essentially launching the careers of stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, the musical smash spawned two sequels (with the third gaining cinema release) and a worldwide following with schools and colleges around the world now bringing the East High Wildcats to the stage. A clever concept and one of the flagship series’ for the newly launched Disney+ streaming platform, High School Musical: The Musical: The Series is not attempting to be a remake but instead follows Theatre teacher Miss Jenn (Kate Reinders) who arrives at East High, the school where High School Musical was filmed only to discover that the high school has never staged a production of the famous show. She launches a school wide campaign to take on the stage show, bringing all sorts of talent out of the woodwork. In the mix is theatre tragic Nini (Olivia Rodrigo), who Penn Badgley and Victoria Pedretti in You breaks it off with boyfriend Ricky (Joshua Bassett) after a broken heart. a fresh start in Los Angeles under a new name. With cool kid and musical theatre talent EJ (Matt Cornett) Upon starting work at the hip book store/fresh food hybrid store Anavrin (Nirvana spelt backwards), he soon meets co-worker Love Quinn (Victoria Pedretti). Her charm soon wins Joe over and another lovestruck obsession begins. Love’s family soon comes into the picture with her unstable brother Forty (James Scully) striking up a new relationship and soon Joe’s ex Candace (Ambyr Childs) bring’s Joe’s dark past flooding back to haunt him. Possessing all the dangerous natured elements of the first season, the second instalment of this psychological saga is just as unsettling, if not more so, as more pieces of the puzzle come into play. In a sprawling city, it becomes Cast of High School Muiscal:The Musical: The Series 26

gunning for the role of Troy and Niniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new flame, Ricky decides to audition for the show. But is it for the love of theatre or the love of a girl? Musically, this new series is solid with the lead actors all proving strong singers and some original songs scattered in amongst plenty of the High School Musical favourites. There are subtle nods to the original film series, including several cameos but there is enough of a fresh feel to separate it from the originals and this is exactly the direction this series needed to take. Joshua Bassett and Olivia Rodrigo are particularly likeable as Ricky and Nini and the supporting cast play to their stereotypes well. High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (although the title is a little bit of a mouthful) is fresh and fun and is sure to delight musical fans and fans of the original. Be sure to watch right through to the end of the final episode credits for a fantastic easter egg scene which sets up an anticipated Season two. ~oOo~

Gillian Anderson in Sex Education - Season 2

Title: SEX EDUCATION ~ SEASON 2 Network: Netflix One of the sleeper hits of last year became an instant cult classic with important messages about sex and sexual health all delivered with hilariously awkward results. The second season of Sex Education is now here and Otis (Asa Butterfield) is now a well known name around his school after his sex therapist mother Jean (Gillian Anderson) and straight shooting friend Maeve (Emma Mackey) prompted him to set up an underground sex advice clinic at the school. Otis soon discovers his own pleasures and lands himself a girlfriend in the form of the quirky Ola (Patricia Allison). Best friend Eric (Ncuti Gatwa) also finds himself on the end of some flattering attention from new student Rahim (Sami Outabali) but confusing feelings for the Headmasterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s son Adam

(Connor Swindells) still remain. As in season one, Sex Education does not shy away from hard hitting sexual topics and is not for the faint hearted. It handles both heterosexual and homosexual relationships with care and all is delivered with excellent comic timing and a light hearted nature. There are moments of real poignancy as Eric begins to discover his true feelings, Adam struggles with identity and Maeve must consider whether her mother is fit to care for her younger sister after discovering drug abuse. At the centre of these intertwining stories is a very genuine performance from Asa Butterfield as Otis and a strong showing once again from Gillian Anderson as his often clueless mother. Awkward, very funny and brilliantly scripted, this second season of the cult comedy is just as good if not better than the first time around.

Cast of Sex Education - Season 2 27

SPORT AND LEISURE PERTH SUMMER LEAGUE CHRIS MCRAE

JANUARY WRAP

ith the summer months rapidly coming to an end, the Perth Summer League playoffs are fast ap-proaching with just over three weeks of the regular season remaining. January saw a shake up in the standings as the Elk and Crusaders began a real push towards the playoffs, closing the gap on the top of the table Moose. The buffer that the Moose possessed in early January has been closed down by the relentless Elk who only dropped two games in January. The Crusaders have turned things around in the month of January. After a shaky start to the season, Elliot Duguayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s team has recorded six wins, two losses and one tie since the beginning of January, propelling them into third position. Wins over the Moose and Elk have also given the Crusaders some much needed confidence moving into the final weeks of the season. The Wolves and Wheat Kings remain in a tight battle for fourth position with the Wolves holding several games in hands and sitting on the same points as the Wheat Kings. Both teams had their moments throughout January however the Wolves sit just ahead of the Kings on goal differential. Only one point behind the Wolves and Wheat Kings are the Grizzlords and with only four points separating third and sixth, it is set to be a highly entertaining run to the finish line. The Outlaws currently sit out of the playoff picture and would need a large number of wins as well as other results to fall their way to come into the playoff picture. Now for the playoffs picture. Teams who finish in first and second will lock in automatic entry to the best-of-three Semi Final seriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Third and fourth placed teams will play off in the Qualifying Final and fifth and sixth will meet in the Elimination Final. The winner of the Qualifying Final will move straight through to the Semi Final series and the loser will meet the winner of the Elimination Final in the Knockout Final for a place in the second Semi Final. The Final Series will be a best of five match up between the winners of the two Semi Final Series. It is set to be a barn burner of a final few weeks so make sure you head down to Perth Ice Arena to catch some of the coolest action around before summer comes to an end! * Results and Standings Current as of 9th February 2020

FLINDERS UNIVERSITY LEARNING THROUGH LISTENING

nderstanding Indigenous insights to Country and culture demands a new means of learning through humility, patience and listening for non-Indigenous people. Flinders University anthropologist and Matthew Flinders Fellow, Professor Amanda Kearney, explains this in a new book that explores how her twenty years of anthropological studies in Yanyuwa Country, a remarkable part of northern Australia, located throughout the saltwater limits of the southwest Gulf of Carpentaria, has radically changed her way of working with and relating to Indigenous Australians. “To truly learn, we have to develop more profound relationships between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians,” says Professor Kearney. “How we build these relationships and find friendship in this space is the key to developing valuable research.” The book - Reflexive Ethnographic Practice: Three Generations of Social Researchers in One Place, edited by Professor Amanda Kearney and Associate Professor John Bradley - features essays which span forty years and three generations of researchers who have immersed themselves in Yanyuwa culture and ethnographic fieldwork. It includes a chapter by Associate Professor Liam Brady, who joined Flinders’ archaeology program in 2020. While the text addresses a sensitive subject in academia, Professor Kearney believes that discussing how to engage in deeper cross-cultural conversations is a crucial step towards building stronger relationships between non-Indigenous and Indigenous Australians. “At its core, this anthology is a meditation on learning and friendship across cultures,” says Professor Kearney. Professor Kearney’s contribution to the book is the sum of her two decades of research focusing on cultural wounding,

healing and interculturalism in Australia. Her collaboration and ethnographic fieldwork with Indigenous families and their communities has documented conversations around relationships with Country, highlighting that social memory, place maintenance and ecological health are evident through Yanyuwa song, ritual and language. “The families I have been with in Yanyuwa Country have given me so much of their time, their attention and wisdom, and I have had to learn how to listen in a different, deeper way. Through that, I have been changed,” says Professor Kearney. “As a teacher and a researcher, I aim to bring about a shift in people’s thinking, to ensure things do not remain the same. And now, through my work with Indigenous communities, I realise that the same has happened to me. I am learning to see and understand things in new ways from their perspective.” Published internationally by Palgrave Macmillan, the book provides insights to a topic that Professor Kearney believes has international resonance, to better define improved cross-cultural conversations. Through representing the experiences of three generations of researchers who have long collaborated with the same Indigenous community throughout their careers, it details revealing accounts of relational encounters and knowledge sharing. “The book doesn’t hold back. There is serious self-scrutiny by the authors, about their discomfort, uncertainty and awe, exploring the tensions and contradictions between academic rigour and the visceral apprehension of different ways of perceiving the world,” says Professor Kearney. “How we tell anthropological stories is political – and it is important. We have to ask how we can move beyond the borders of who we are. Quite simply, we don’t move forward as a society if we don’t speak out.”

Professor Amanda Kearney with Yanyuwa leaders including Graham Friday, Warren Timothy, Joanne Miller, Mavis Timothy and Ruth Friday working on Country with Associate Professor Liam Brady 29

REVIEWS

for children’s parties and have asked anyone who is especially talented to come to the café’s courtyard to be interviewed and for an audition. The couple are shown to their table by an enthusiastic singing waiter (Christian Dichiera) and his mentally vacant handyman friend, Brock (J. Mutta’ Beilby).

Production: Are You Kid-ing Me? Producer: Un/Balanced Kháos Reviewer: Gordon the Optom

re You Kid-ing Me? is an exceptionally funny play written by Keely Molony, a Curtin University graduate with a degree in creative writing and visual design. This play was written for FRINGE 2020 and is presented by a talented rabble of Curtin theatre students, Un/BALANCED Kháos. How often does one see a puerile Fringe show that has been flung together just so the actors can get their names on this year’s programme? Every year there are some appalling scripts and many under rehearsed actors. However – hallelujah – this hour-long show that has curtain up at 7.00 pm, is fast paced, superbly presented and hilarious. The short season is at Lazy Susan’s, above the Brisbane Hotel, Beaufort Street, North Perth finishes very soon.

As the waiter set the table, Gwyneth (Alex Hutchings) a man with a spliff behind each ear, floated into the café on a chemical trip. Two young women Cassie (Amber Anderson) and Jodi (Emily Bell) explain how they have been to many parties, each treating the children and adults with their own speciality. Regularly, from the back of the room came advice from their good friend Chris (Calum Christie). Then Jungle Julien (Travis Koch) entered, a real outback character that can handle any Aussie creature, except scorpions, one of which was soon found by smartly dressed Noah (Samuel Addison). The dramas and panic continue as another half dozen weirdos call for auditions. The writer, Keely Molony was also the director, often a risky business, but in this case she succeeded magnificently. By using several entry points around the auditorium, the next character would be entering whilst the previous left. This kept the pace cracking along at an unrelenting pace. The madcap storyline was well conceived and the characters – some actors played several parts – instantly recognisable. With Keely’s top-rate direction, her wacky but superbly constructed dialogue came to life. Cait and Ethan were on stage for almost the whole show, never faltering as they coped with the chaotic events, all delivered straight-faced. This was one of the funniest shows that I have seen in years. Every cast member was most credible and gave their performances with amazing skill. Hilarious. ~oOo~

The scene: A brick walled, café courtyard. The set: A low stage is about 30 cms above floor level. There are some tiered auditorium seats. The set is a bare pink brick wall that represents an enclosed café patio. There are a couple of melamine tables and café chairs. The lighting and sound design are by Calum Christie. Two friends, Hayden (Ethan Milne) and Elliot (Cait Griffiths) sleep in the same bed – but purely for convenience! They have decided to form a company of entertainers

Production: Outback Angels Producer: Off The Wall Productions Reviewer: Gordon the Optom Outback Angels is a thirty minute play based in the West Australian outback. It was beautifully written by multi awardwinning playwright, Yvette Wall as her offering for the Fringe World Festival 2020. This Off the Wall Production was presented at 5.30 pm on the 29th, 30th, 31st January and the 1st and 2nd February at the Townshend Theatre, Irish Club of WA, 61 Townshend Street in Subiaco. The scene: The sitting room of a shack-like home on a remote cattle station in the outback, near a town called – to quote Annabelle – ‘Meekietheeria’. The set: Matte black walls and floor. A grey bench represented the seating. Lighting and sound were in the capable hands of John Spurling. 30

2018 brought us the popular multidisciplinary installation piece Feedback. This Ben Thomas production is being presented in The Blue Room Studio at 53 James Street, Northbridge nightly at 9.00 until 1st February. Yes, one blink and it will be gone! But the play will live for decades to come. The scene: A low budget FM radio studio somewhere in the city. The set: Was designed by Dani Chilton. The walls and floor are matte black. In one corner is the producer’s console and tech equipment. A make-your-own coffee area is behind him. Near the front of the stage on the other side is the presentation desk, complete with a superb Blue Yeti USB microphone. The Brenda Lee tracks of the early 60s are blended with the eerie, dark and morphing sound design from Isaac Diamond. Chilling and disturbing. Lighting designer Saint Clair has created the standard warm and welcoming radio studio lighting, but then had to produce some very eerie effects which, by the incontinence of the lady sitting next to me in the front row, certainly worked. Heinrich Krause created some important artistic images. Morgan Moroney was responsible for the visual story projected onto the rear wall of the stage. The show was smoothly Stage Managed by Zoe Martino.

Cast of Outback Angels

It is early morning on the radio station’s graveyard shift and another episode of the daily serial about the adventures of two daring young girls is coming to an end.

Following the death of her mother, sixteen year old Annabelle (Kate Sisley) becomes uncontrollable and so is sent by her father from vibrant London to a bleak cattle station in outback Western Australia, to stay with her late mother’s best friend and family.

Smartly dressed in a long, flowing red patterned kaftan with matching accessories, is Margie Hillspeck (Monica Main) who was once Australia’s most famous medium but is now a fraud, who will do anything to retain her good ratings and stop notoriety. Margaret, who is finishing her newspaper crossword looks up and is cued by her producer, Russell (Mararo Wangai).

Arrogant spoiled Annabelle is not impressed by the lack of neighbours, a weak Internet signal – how can she possibly contact her numerous Facebook friends and send photos of her divine self to her followers? To make things even worse, the little girl of the house, Lainey (Lena McLeod) is a little slow and the son, Pete (Finn Synnot) is easy going, not at all the kind of company to which Annabelle is accustomed.

‘ Welcome to This is Second Chance Farewells! Where we help you contact lost loved ones.’ Margie answers letters and starts to give advice to the fans and weird cranks telephoning in. Then the lights flicker and the studio is cast into darkness. Today is not going to be an easy one.

Soon the children are at war. With only a thirty minute performance the challenge to create strong characters and a believable selection of emotions was a major challenge, but director Scarlett Greenock has selected a great cast. In Finn and Lena, she has two very good young actors and with Kate discovered an outstanding young actress with a future in acting. I first saw Kate about six years ago as a simple young chorus extra and now in this play she gives a very moving performance. A most impressive short play, well worth the half hour trip from home. It was enthusiastically received by a large audience. Congrats to all concerned. ~oOo~ Production: Talkback Producer: Summer Nights and Sandpaperplane Reviewer: Gordon the Optom Talkback is the brilliant debut play from Hannah Cockroft. Hannah is a young UWA graduate, who with the help of Australian Theatre for Young People and Barking Gecko has created this innovative, gripping and most believable story. This fast moving fifty-five minute spooky two-hander play has been brought to the Fringe World Festival 2020 programme by Summer Nights and Sandpaperplane, the company who in

The play’s director is the well-established Elise Wilson, a local theatre-maker with several great productions to her name. A two-hander can be tedious, especially in such a confined space, but the driving strength of Russell the producer was the ideal counter to the presenter’s insincerity and insecurity. Dramaturg Jackson Used helped build the surrealism and mystical intrigue. Monica Main does not do many shows, but when she does, they are always most memorable. In this play she totally inhabits the complex character of the arrogant enigmatic Talkback host. Monica, who is much respected by her peers as an Equity judge, again proves that she can act as well as those to whom she awards the prizes. Great teamwork. What an amazing talent Mararo Wangai is. Unusual acting skills were demanded of Mararo, but he just grinned and amazed us all. The wonderful caller, Dawn, and a cameo part were played superbly by Verity Jansen. After seeing this masterpiece, one can only boggle at Hannah’s future as a playwright and the numerous doors that will surely open. Publicist, David Mitchell was correct in saying ‘If you are going to see only one show at the Fringe, this has got to be it’ – yes, if you can get a ticket. ~oOo~ 31

when, like an angel arriving on a beam of white light his girlfriend (Kamara Churchill) arrives home. Their love is immediately apparent. They become cocooned in a long white silk. A chanteuse (musician and singer Veruschka Pestano) sings in French – in style reminiscent of Je t’aime – of an all-embracing soft breath ‘souffle’ of air in a bright white light.

Production: Six Minutes 6 Ways Producer: Lyrical Infusion Reviewer: Gordon the Optom Six Minutes 6 Ways is a wonderful quality part of Fringe world Festival 2020. This superbly written forty minute World Premiere was written by Sally Newman and presented by Lyrical Infusion at the Irish Club of Western Australia, 61 Townshend Road, Subiaco on Friday 24th January at 6.30 pm and again on Saturday 25th January at 6.30 with a second performance 8.45 pm. This innermost projection and stress observed writing contains various threads that hint as the young girl’s mood slowly changes. Threads such as the brightness of the light, the wisp of air flowing through the room, her breathing and the various aspects of love. The story is told in six scenes depicting six-minute snippets of their daily life. They flowed together well and were cleverly linked. ‘There are countless moments in life. Some never seen by others. Some too sad to remember. Some too painful to forget.’ Because of the adult dramatic themes (non-sexy), the suitability is still probably for 18+.

The girl’s inner spirit (WAAPA dancer Eibhlis Newman) emerges from the cocoon and demonstrates with an acrobatic balletic performance the passion that is taking place and the intense love. The girl becomes pregnant. We jump forward a year to the next autumn when the couple’s life changes, leading to a funeral with the grandmother (Diana Oliver) and her brother (Leigh Hunter) mourning their loss. Sally Newman is a multi-award winning, gifted writer, actor and producer the creative director, and in the past was nominated for ‘Best Community Event at FRINGE WORLD’. But and it is a big ‘but’, in a mere forty minutes can she create an atmosphere of love, tension, drama and make the audience feel a genuine connection with the characters? Surprisingly the cast and director succeeded admirably, I did care and was moved. There were some very poignant performances especially from the girl and her mother. Not wishing to spoil the play by telling too much, the others found their place and gave strength to the atmosphere. This play worked because the director has selected the cast, musician and dancer most carefully, then the team melded together perfectly. Well done, tricky but it worked. ~oOo~

The scene: The sitting room in a typical young couple’s flat. The set: The walls are matte black and unadorned. A patio window is covered by white light-weight chiffon curtains. In front and to the side of the stage was an electric organ (piano) and a microphone. The simple but effective lighting and sound design was by Claire Mosel-Crossley. It covered the stage and the area of the auditorium three metres in front of the stage used by the dancer. A young man (Robert Jackson) is taking off his shoes,

Production: Robin Hood and the Witches of Sherwood Producer: Ellenbrook Theatre Company Reviewer: Gordon the Optom Robin Hood and the Witches of Sherwood is a colourful traditional pantomime being presented by the Ellenbrook Theatre Company at the Ellenbrook Performing Arts Centre, 100 Main Street in Ellenbrook. The scene: The city of Nottingham, just outside the castle walls on the edge of Sherwood Forest. The set: The set mainly comprised three massive rotating units. they were solidly constructed and artistically painted. They represented a village street scene and a forest dene, complete with a huge amount of natural looking vegetation. Sean Breadsell who was the photographer and visualisation artist, won the Ellenbrook Arts Award for his impressive photography. The massive range of Props were sourced by Zac Ozolins. The audio was very smoothly operated by Shane Larson, an audio engineer who has twenty years working with professional touring musicians. His assistant was Kaemon Larson a keen year ten student. Another student, Dusan Nikora, was in charge of the intricate lighting. Very good teching. A Stage Manager with years of experience, Savannah Page has to be admired as she and her team fought (and won) to control the enormous number of children, dozens of entrances and exits, along with the complicated scene changes. Chester (Gillian Paton-Plant – who has a decade with the Ellenbrook clan) strides onto the set and explains to the gathering that the dreaded Sheriff of Nottingham (Adam Skellham) – boo hiss – is taxing everyone to the point of starvation. On hearing this, Debonair Robin Hood (Robert Tomlinson – good fun) and his merry men, Will Scarlett (James

Kamara Churchill in Six Minutes 6 Ways 32

Skellham), Friar Tuck complete with authentic tonsure (Sethen Oreo), Big John (1-Kayden Skellham, 2-Sophia Healdgrove – alternating) and the musical Alan-aDale, guitarist and singer (Isabella Gethin) gather in the forest and decide that the Sheriff must be stopped and that Prince John (Zachary Ozolins) should rule again. Nursie, the man-hunting Dame (Peter Boylen) and her young trendy palomino, Dobbin (Ali McNamara) hear that the beautiful Maid Marion (Latifah Kahamba, only her third time acting) is seeking the help of a coven of witches who live in Sherwood. These crones were Witch Acne (Joanne Skellham – who, with her children filling half the cast, cannot be that ugly!), Witch Wart (Lisa Merrit) and Witch Pimple B.A. (Ellen Parfrey) who gathered items for their spells from unsuspecting audience children. The rosy-faced comic duo of Nutsy (Sylvia Guest) and Dipsy (Lyndsey Turner) were dressed in bright blue – Dipsy worked particularly well together as they disastrously tried to help. The handsome Sergeant (Todd Halvorson) was in charge of the knights on horseback, who were dressed in shining armour and scarlet tabards were Carrie Robbins, Hayden Adcock, Matthew Bacon, Natasha Holt and Shaun Busher. Kindly Molly (Caitlan Holmes) warned the villagers of trouble and fought against evil like the rugged heartless guards (Harry Andrews, Lloyd Raycraft).

Even though the Villagers and Sherwood Trees may seem like minor parts they added life and depth to every scene. Well done Sofia Sciaffini, Daniela Schiaffini. Connor Doyle, Lewis Gage, Aneta Vaclavik, Amalie Vaclavik, Summer Mitchell, Bertie Turrell-Knight and Liam Hislop. . Environment student, Max Hughes has taken a study break to become the Dance Choreographer. With many shows under his belt he has taken on the impressive Senior Dancers Leoni Robbins, Bree Skellham, Lily Stopp, Niamh Brien, Eva Durham, Sheridan Spencer, Jessica Tucker, Lexi Brindley and Mia Yeatman who tackled several styles of dancing. The seniors helped Max guide the enchanting Junior Dancers Ruby-Annabelle Robbins, Shari Ketteridge, Evie Lake, Melody O’Dea-Lester, Baylie Taylor and Emily Saxton through their routines. EVERY dancer smiled as they performed beautifully. After their graceful exhibition they exited quickly and smoothly like a troupe of true professionals. Catherine Healdgrove as Costume Assistant and seamstress can be proud of her team. Most satisfying but with children being involved, at the end of each show there is always a queue of torn outfits. Sylvia Guest, who played Nutsy was also responsible for the delightful and imaginative makeup; from the delicate dancers’ make-up, to that of the grotesque witches – fabulous. Even Peter as Nursie looked attractive in the dim light (then on second thoughts ….). The Director Ali McNamara has been in several shows for this company, but this is her first chance at directing. Working with children can be a disaster but Ali has generously given many first timers their big break and a chance to star and they have rewarded her bravery very well. The standard of every character was extremely well portrayed. It is the first time that I have seen a vertical pantomime horse. Standing upright on two legs, Dobbin was enchanting and a change from some of the weary two-man pantomime nags. The acting talent ranged from a capable little youngster on stage for the first time, then onto many of the cast who are barely teenagers, up to a couple theatre graduates. Then, there are acting enthusiasts who have completely different day jobs – one is even a local GP. shine. A talented import from Albany is Robert Tomlinson who as Robin was a great find. You can see the huge amount of rehearsal and hard work that has gone into this success. Well done! 33

OLD MILL THEATRE

ROLEYSTONE THEATRE A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM AT ARALUEN

hakespeare is coming to Araluen Botanic Park, as Roleystone Theatre gets ready to deliver romance, magic and mayhem. Directed by Paul Treasure, A Midsummer Night’s Dream takes place in a magical version of Athens and centres on the wedding of Theseus, Duke of Athens, and Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons. At the same time, Oberon and Titania – King and Queen of the Fairies – have had a huge falling out and find they have both arrived in Athens to attend the wedding. Oberon decides to pull a lavish prank on Titania, which involves her falling in love with a mortal, who has been turned into a donkey. Two pairs of lovers and a group of tradesmen trying to put on a play also get involved in the madness in the woods outside Athens. “The joy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream is that you have three distinct groups of characters, so you can play around with the settings,” Treasure said. “Our Athenians will be done in a faux fantasy medieval style but our tradesmen, known as the mechanicals, will be dressed in modern overalls. “And the fairies will be just as you imagine, simply because fairies are timeless.” The main challenge, according to Treasure, is directing a show outdoors for the first time. “We will be doing it without a lot of the tech normally used in theatre, so there will be no set, no lights and no amplification,” he said. “But there’s also an opportunity to actually move the performance among the audience.”

Acting for more than thirty years, Treasure has performed in most of Perth’s theatres – mainly with Roleystone, Kwinana and Marloo Theatres and the Mandurah Performing and Koorliny Arts Centres. He has several acting awards and nominations to his credit, including a 2014 Finley Award for best actor in a musical for his role as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof with Murray Music and Drama. Last year, Treasure made his directorial debut with the Gilbert and Sullivan Society of WA with a production of The Mikado. “I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some form of Shakespeare in the Park for a number of years and, when the opportunity finally arose, A Midsummer Night’s Dream was the perfect choice to start with,” he said. “It’s a genuinely funny play that’s also very well-known and set outside, so suits the venue well. “I directed A Midsummer Night’s Dream many years ago – it’s one of those plays a director could stage a number of times and have every production be totally different.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream runs from February 22nd at 4pm, the 23rd, March the 7th and 8th. Tickets cost $25 (adults), $20 (concession) and $10 children (15 and under) – book at www. trybooking.com/597891 (the cost includes entry to Araluen). Araluen Botanic Park is at 362 Croyden Road, Roleystone.

STIRLING PLAYERS THE ACTRESS

tirling Theatre is starting its fiftieth year with a performance about a farewell performance, in the play The Actress, with a famous stage performer deciding to retire. Written by Peter Quilter and directed by Carryn McLean, the touching comedy is set in a dressing room with the family of theatre star Lydia Martin – including her ex-husband, theatre colleagues and fiancé – wanting to wish her well. Humour and biting comments come thick and fast but, despite Lydia’s determination to retire, she realises she still has a few issues to sort through in her mind. Playwright Quilter is known for his Broadway play End of the Rainbow, adapted into the 2019 Renée Zellweger film Judy. “I have read a couple of his scripts including Glorious! and Curtain Up and I like The Actress. L to R: David Young, Carole Wilson, Jane the fact Quilter’s characters are real and have Sherwood, Lara Brunini, Karin Staflund and Claire Westheafer. depth,” McLean said. “He exposes their vulnerabilities as well as their humour.” at Stirling Theatre is on Morris Place, Innaloo. After joining Patch Theatre in 1967, McLean became a Tickets are $22 ($20 concession) and may be booked from founding member of Stirling Theatre in 1970 and has appeared in Morris News on 9446 9120 or at www.trybooking.com/BFNMJ. numerous plays with the company over the years. Carryn McLean was made a life member in 2000 and has also directed No Time On, Saving Ardley, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, Two Weeks with the Queen and It’s A Wonderful Life. With Limelight Theatre, McLean has stagemanaged several shows including 42nd Street, Crazy for You, Half a Sixpence, Sunset Boulevard and Gaslight, as well as directing The Darling Buds of May in 2015. In 2017, she received the Susan Hayward Award for Best Director of a Play for her production of Moonlight and Magnolias at the annual Finley Awards. McLean’s latest show is providing various challenges, mainly due to a split set – one section is Lydia’s dressing room and the other is the stage set for Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard, Lydia’s ultimate performance. “Trying to place the furniture so audiences can see the action in both sections, through the various pieces on the dressing room set, has been a case of musical chairs,” she said. “Stirling Theatre has a reasonable stage area but the wings are about a metre wide so we’re really at our limit on the stage area. “Three of the main actors also appear in two scenes from The Cherry Orchard – switching from modern to Russian characters while needing to present them as different roles is going to be interesting. “I have a very talented and experienced cast and am enjoying working with them during our rehearsals.” The Actress runs from at 8pm on February 7th to the 22nd with 2pm matinees on February 9th and 16th 36

GARRICK THEATRE CLUB INC BETTE AND JOAN DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

nton Burge is a writer, actor and playwright, specialising in writing for women, focusing on celebrated women of the 19th and 20th centuries. His celebrated play Bette & Joan opened in the West End in 2011 starring Greta Scacchi as Bette Davis and Anita Dobson as Joan Crawford. He is also at work on a biography of Bette Davis: A Life Lived in Melodrama and his most recent play Mrs. Pat opened at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester, starring Dame Penelope Keith. But it is his Bette and Joan which is making itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Western Australian debut at Garrick Theatre Club (inc) this February directed by Lynne Devenish and featuring two powerhouses of the WA community stage Siobhan Vincent as Bette Davis and Sarah House as Joan Crawford. When it comes to considering the great stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood, two of the most glittering names were those of Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. Both movie actressess were of similar stature, both were commumate masters of their craft and both had whims of iron and wills of steel. Despite their many similarities the two were often rivals for the same part and darlings of the tabloid Hollywood Harpies, Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons.

In 1962 Bette was fifty-four and Joan (born Lucille LaSeur) was fifty-eight, both moving out of the desirable age for actressess in 1960s Hollywood. Bette has gone back to her theatrical roots, appearing on Broadway, when she is approached by Joan with the script for Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? The two agree to make the film and the whole action of the play takes place during the filming of this horror thriller. We see the two passing the time between takes - Joan drinking her Pepsi laced with vodka while signing photographs for her fans and Bette drawing viciously on countless cigarettes and musing on her life, loves and career intermingles with filming, and the interaction between the two. Anton Burge has written a brilliant and viciously funny script. A challenging play of rich humour, deep insight and an exploration of the pschyes of these two Grande Dames of drama. Bette and Joan runs from 8:00pm February 13th to the 29th, with three matinees at 2:00pm staged at Garrick Theatre, 16 Meadow Street, Guildford. Tickets cost $25 (Adult), (Concession $22) and may be booked by ringing Elaine on 9378 1990, emailing: bookings@garricktheatre.asn.au on online at www.trybooking.com/BHERU. Bette and Joan is not suitable for children. Contains coarse language.

WE HAVE MOVED

Now Open

MELVILLE THEATRE SUMMER SHORTS

hat do a 1920s social satire, an argument over a wedding, junior football and online scam have in common? They’re the subject of four short plays – Fourteen, Daddy’s Little Girl, Taking Sides and Fleeced! – being presented under the banner of Summer Shorts at Melville Theatre. Written by Alice Gerstenberg and directed by Carmen Dohle, Fourteen is set in New York in the 1920s with Mrs Pringle hosting a dinner party for fourteen guests. But a terrible blizzard outside, and the cancellation of her guests, throws things into total confusion. “I'd been looking at plays to direct for a while without finding any that appealed to me – they all had really uninteresting characters or plots,” Dohle said. “But when I came across Fourteen, I really enjoyed reading it because it was fun, lighthearted and had some great, well-written characters. “I'd also saw that it had never been performed in Perth so I thought it would be a great one to direct. It's set in the 1920s, which is always a fun time period, and makes it quite interesting because it's now literally a hundred years ago.” Daddy’s Little Girl is written and directed by Noel O’Neill and also set in New York, although in contemporary times. After an argument over her upcoming wedding, a daughter finds her father in the park – a familiar spot where he used to take her as a child. “He wants to control the wedding but she cannot allow him to do that,” O’Neill said. “What lies underneath is the fact he doesn’t want to lose her because she has lived at home with her mother and father all her whole life and she’s his only child.” Written and directed by Suzannah Churchman, Taking Sides sees Hase realise he has some serious competition for the state try-outs when a girl called Sam turns up at the junior footy club. Hase has enough problems already with his battling parents and punishing new coach to make an enemy of Sam –

but she has other ideas. “My inspiration came after I met a girl who had played with the same kids in a mixed footy team since Auskick,” Churchman said. “She was turning fourteen and AFL rules state you then have to join a girls’ team. There were not enough girls in her country town to form a team so, effectively, her footy life was over, which I thought was very sad. “The characters in Taking Sides are people everyone will recognise and, whether you barrack for the Eagles or the Dockers or hate footy altogether, people can relate to that awkwardness at age thirteen when you’re trying to figure out who you are.” Fleeced! is a comedy written and directed by Bob Charteris, where a widowed Perth mother develops an online relationship with a man claiming to be a French count. Her stepson Roger discovers she is about to leave for Paris and tries to dissuade her but she is adamant her internet friend is a real aristocrat and goes to France. “There have been so many articles over the past few years about people losing a lot of money to people they have met over the internet,” Charteris said. “A common thread seems to be loneliness and the quest for romance and I’ve made sure there are plenty of twists and turns in Fleeced! before the truth comes out.” Summer Shorts runs from February 13th to the 22nd at 8:00pm with a 2:00pm matineé on February 16th. Tickets cost $20 (Adults), $15 (concession) and may be booked at www.TAZTix.com. au or call TAZTix on 9255 3336. Melville Theatre is at 393A Canning Highway (corner of Stock Road), Palmyra.

Hase (Jack Churchman) gets some affection from his overly-attentive mother Darlene (Indiana Powell) 39

NON - FICTION THE NOBLE RECREATION

DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE “The detective-story is the normal recreation of noble minds.” Philip Guedalla

THE RIVALS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES

Police Force for attesting an English detective rather than the jewel thief. Valmont apart, the detectives of the time demanded to be taken very seriously indeed. They may be divided into ‘supermen’ and ‘plain men’. The ‘supermen’ by and large tended to have idiot friends and be gifted amateurs. The ‘plain men’ Eugene Valmont were more usually policemen and seemed to e able to cope on their own without help. Not all were policemen, some were private detectives running their own agencies, but even then they tended to look like, and behave like policemen. They are the Lestrades and Gregsons, removed from official ranks and seen with a somewhat friendlier eye.

THE SILVER AGE ~ PART ONE 1890 TO 1925

he initial success of the Sherlock Holmes short stories caused a host of imitators to spring up: styles ranged from pure imitation to sincere flattery. At once Conan Doyle had done two things - he had made the art of writing short detective fiction look easy and secondly, he had made it profitable. He had grown rich and famous by his writing. The combination of these two factors together with a voracious appetite by the reading public made an almost irresistible temptation to writers and would-be writers of varying degrees of skill. Of his emulators, good and bad, some seized upon the detective and some fell upon the puzzle. The amount of talent at work in this period gives it a reasonable claim to be called The Silver Age of the Crime Story, but it should be recognised that the ore is of rather baser metal than the best of the Sherlock Holmes stories which are pure gold. Yet for readers prepared to accept the stories for what they are, and any addict should be, the variety of detectives and ideas offered gives a great deal of pleasure.

ROBERT BARR (1850-1912) One of the earliest rivals of Sherlock Holmes was created by Robert Barr. He was a journalist, editor and writer who had been born in Glasgow, Scotland, and been taken to Toronto when he was four. He was educated in Canada and took a position as a reporter. In 1881 he returned to Britain (a process he described as ‘vamoosing the ranch’) to edit several publications and in 1892 he established The Idler, a vastly popular magazine. He quickly brought in humourist Jerome K Jerome as co-editor, attracting such writers as Max Beerbohm, Hall Caine, Rudyard Kipling, Mark Twain, Guy de Maupassant, Eden Phillpotts, William Clark Russell and Barry Pain along with many others, popular at the time, but less so now. Barr wrote many short stories, most of which were good, fast-paced tales that were immensely popular. His best and most memorable detective was Eugene Valmont. Valmont is important as being the first humourous detective in English - and humourous without being facetious. valmont, while French, lives in England and his fame often forces him to resort to disguises and aliases. Although gullible and easily fooled, he pompously considers the English police force inept. His elephantine conceit, elegant clothes and ever-present wit as well as many physical characteristics foreshadow the as yet unborn Hercule Poirot. Valmont appears in only one book of collected short stories - The Triumphs of Eugene Valmont (1906). ‘Triumphs’ here should be read very loosely. We learn, among other things, that he was fired from the French

JACQUES FUTRELLE (1875-1912) Futrelle was born in 1875 in Pike County, Georgia in the United States. He became a theatrical manager before becoming a journalist and working for The Boston American in which many of his fictional works first appeared. Returning from Europe aboard the RMS Titanic, Futrelle, a first-class passenger, refused to board a lifeboat, insisting his wife, also a writer, Lily May Peel, do so instead, to the point of forcing her in. He perished in the Atlantic and his body was never found. Six weeks later Futrelle’s mother, Linnie Futrelle, died; her death being attributed to grief over Jacques’ death. Although he wrote several light romantic novels, it is his detective fiction for which he is best remembered today. He wrote several crime and mystery novels, notably The Diamond Master (1909) and My Lady’s Garter (1912). His most famous creation is Jacques Futrelle Professor Augustus S F X Van 40

Dusen Ph.D., LL.D., F.R.S., M.D., M.D.S., rather better known as ‘The Thinking Machine’. Van Dusen works for an unnamed American University and is laden down with degrees and honours. When we are introduced to him in The Problem of Dressing Room A (1906) he refers contemptuously to chess saying that a thorough knowledge of the rules of logic is all that it takes to become a Master of the game. He could, he claims, ‘take a few hours of competent instruction and defeat a man who had has devoted his life to it.’ A match is arranged between the professor and the world’s champion, Tschaikowsky. Van Dusen spends a morning with an American Grand Master learning the moves and then plays. After the fifth move Tschaikowsky stops smiling and after the fourteenth, when Van Dusen claims ‘mate in fifteen moves’ the world’s champion, a Russian, exclaims, ‘Mon dieu!’ It would seem that, like most Russians he speaks fluent French. Tschaikowsky adds: ‘You are not a man, you are a brain - a machine - a thinking machine.’ From this point on the good professor is called ‘The Thinking Machine.’ In appearance Van Dusen is dwarfish, pale and thin, his shoulders stooped in the popular caricature of the scholar. One of his more remarkable features is his head; he wears a size eight hat; he has an abnormally high and broad brow topped with a shock of yellow hair. His face is sickly pale and clean-shaven. His hands are long and flexible. In manner he is irritable and curt, but never consciously cruel. It is simply that his mind is too high and too busy to regard the mundane politenesses of life with anything but contempt. He deals with the problems presented to him by his assistant and

GK Chesterton

sidekick, journalist Hutchinson Hatch. The usual format of the stories is that the mystery is shown to us either by a third person narrator or as told to ‘The Thinking Machine’ by Hatch. Hatch then does most of the legwork and the Professor solves the case. The problems presented are almost invariably intriguing and ingeniously worked. The most well-known of all the stories is one called The Problem of Cell Thirteen. This begins with an assertion by the Professor that anything can be done by the power of thought. He is challenged to prove that a man could think his way out of a cell; to which he replies that ‘a man can so apply his brain and ingenuity that he can leave he can leave his cell, which is the same thing.’ The story shows him doing just that, with some agreeable mystification in the course of it - then the explanation of exactly how it was achieved. The Professor appears in these books: The Chase Of The Golden Plate (1906) The Thinking Machine (1907) The Thinking Machine on the Case (1908) GILBERT KEITH CHESTERTON (1874-1936) Gilbert Keith Chesterton KC*SG was an English writer - essayist, novelist, poet, short story writer, philosopher, lay theologian, Christian apologist, literary and art critic. His contemporary reputation was immense, George Bernard Shaw said of him: “He was a man of colossal genius” and his output was prolific - he wrote around eighty books, several hundred poems, some 200 short stories, 4000 essays, and several plays. He was educated in London, attending the Slade School of Art at University College London and began his working life in 1895 with a London publisher Redway, moving to the publishing house T. Fisher Unwin, where he remained until 1902. During this time he began as a freelance art and literary critic. In 1902 the Daily News gave him a weekly opinion column, followed in 1905 by a weekly column in The Illustrated London News, for which he continued to write for the next thirty years. In 1931 he began a series of hugely popular radio talks on various topics, largely impromptu and intimate, they continued until his death at around forty a year. He was a tall man, especially for the times, standing at 1.93meters (six foot four inches) which, together with his vast bulk, pince-nez, cloak and sword stick made him immediately recognisable. He was also markedly absent-minded, on at least one occasion sending a telegram to his wife ‘Am in Brighton, where ought I to be?’ His wife’s reply, rather less known was a single word ‘Home’. Today, he is chiefly, if indeed not solely, known, as the creator of Father Brown, Catholic Priest and amateur detective, currently enjoying a resurgence as a result of the latest TV series from the BBC starring Mark Williams, currently in it’s ninth season. Father Brown burst onto the London scene is a short story published in 1910 called The Blue Cross. He is described by Chesterton as a short, stumpy Roman Catholic priest, with shapeless clothes, a large umbrella, and an uncanny insight into human evil. ‘He had a face as round and dull as a Norfolk dumpling; he had eyes as empty as the North Sea ; he had several brown paper parcels which he was quite incapable of collecting ... he had a large shabby umbrella, which constantly fell on the floor’. Brown was based loosely on the Right Reverend Monsignor John O’Connor, a parish priest friend and who presided at Chesterton’s conversion to Catholicism. Father Brown’s methods vary markedly from Holmes’ - he explains his method in The Secret of Father Brown: 41

“You see, I had murdered them all myself.... I had planned out each of the crimes very carefully. I had thought out exactly how a thing like that could be done, and in what style or state of mind a man could really do it. And when I was quite sure that I felt exactly like the murderer myself, of course I knew who he was.”

kindliness and love of humanity with his religious and social beliefs making frequent and obvious appearances. His love of paradox, his whimsicality and strong sense of the absurd are evident in almost all of his writings. Nowhere is his love of paradox more obvious than in the Father Brown stories. Brown’s simple appearance belies the sharp mind concealed behind the broad, smiling, ordinary face. His first adversary is ‘a colossus of crime’ a Frenchman of gigantic stature, incredible strength and enormous intelligence - Hercule Flambeau, also a master of disguise and the most famous thief in Europe. In due course, perhaps partly because of Father Brown’s influence, Flambeau reforms and becomes a private detective (shades of Vidocq) succeeding in that profession as well. Father Brown appears dull-witted but in fact possess a sharp, subtle and sensitive mind. There is no police procedure in the Father Brown stories, in fact very seldom any police at all. Logic exists in the stories, but it’s veiled about with mysticism. We are not, as in other detective stories, given extraneous detail of the case - we are not told, for example, if the gun room door was locked; whether there were five or seven muffins on the plate or how far the parsley had sunk into the butter. However the clues peppered by Chesterton Two TV Father Browns - Kenneth More (1974) and Mark Williams (2013) throughout the stories are legitimate and quite clear. Chesterton plays fair with the reader. He appeared in fifty-three short stories collected into five A dog that whines when a stick sinks in the sea and a books. religious leader of a new mystic cult that does not look round Because of the quality of Chesterton’s writings it is possible when he hears a crash and a scream are genuine clues by which to underestimate the brilliance and detail of the plotting, even we may solve the mysteries. though Chesterton, driven by financial need, wrote them a great speed, leading the author to say: ‘I think it only fair to confess MATTHEW PHIPPS SHIELL (1865 - 1947) that I have myself written some of the worst mystery stories in The sense of unreality and mysticism in the Father Brown the world.’ Most detective story readers would respectfully stories is echoed and intensified in the stories written as M P Shiel disagree. (a reduced version of his own name), an English poet and author In addition to Father Brown, Chesterton created other of fantastic fiction and mysteries. interesting characters. One of whom is Horne Fisher, a His creation is Prince Zaleski, surely the most bizarre gentleman detective and a profound student of criminology who detective in all of fiction - but only marginally more bizarre than believes that evil-doers should be brought to justice. the life of Shiell himself. Burning with a passion for truth and honour, he is adept He was born in 1865 on the West Indian island of Montserrat at ferreting out the secrets of little publicised crimes; yet the and educated at Harrison College, Barbados. According to Shiell criminals who perpetrate them are never brought himself, at the age of fifteen he to justice. was crowned as King Felipe of Very well connected, Fisher notes: “The Prime Reddonda, a small uninhabited Minister is my father’s friend. The Foreign Minister island near Montserrat. married my sister. The Chancellor of the Exchequer Shiell’s father claimed the is my first cousin.” island of Redonda when his son These illustrious political personages don’t was born. Supposedly the father escape Horne’s justice, however - in one of the felt he could legitimately do this, stories, The Fad of the Fisherman, that same Prime because it appeared to be the Minister is the murderer. case that no country had officially Both Brown and Fisher have sidekicks, but far claimed the islet as territory. from being ‘idiot friends’ they are associates, help This has been disputed as a mates and sounding boards. publicity stunt by Shiell and the Chesterton’s first attempt at mystery fiction truth is probably impossible to was The Club of Queer Trades, which club has only ascertain at this point. one criterion for membership - no one is eligible to At the age of twenty Shiell join unless he has created a brand-new profession. moved to London, working as a Some of these trades are most unusual, few more teacher and translator before so than that of the founder of the club, who earns starting to write for The Strand his living by seeking new members. Magazine and others. All Chesterton’s novels and stories are In 1895 he wrote the delicately humourous and display his essential stories which give him a place 42

in our narrative of the history of detective fiction - The Race of Orven, The Stone of the Edmundsbury Monks and The S.S. were published in a collection called Prince Zaleski. A fourth story, The Return of Prince Zaleski, was published in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine in 1955. The stories, and indeed the Prince himself, was heavily influenced by Poe, and we’ll return to them, but his literary reputation is based on his other works, mostly what has been credited as the creation of an entire genre - that of ‘future history science fiction’ with a trilogy The Purple Cloud, published in 1901 and praised by no less a writer than HG Wells. He wrote prolifically - over thirty books - and established a solid reputation, dying shortly after the end of the Second World War. His reputation may not survive recent discoveries about him, however. In 1914 he was jailed for sixteen months with hard labour. The story he gave out and which was widely believed was that the conviction was for fraud. However the truth, established in 2008, was that the conviction was for molesting his twelve year old de facto stepdaughter. Prince Zaleski is an exiled Russian nobleman (although Zaleski is the eighth most common Polish surname) living in London with his devoted Ethiopian servant, Ham. Rather like Poe’s Dupin he enjoys sitting in semi-dark solitude, although in his case lulled by the ‘low, liquid, tinkling of an invisible music box’. He is surrounded by bizarre objects of barbaric beauty - Flemish sepulchral brasses, Egyptian mummies, statues of Brahmin gods, gem-encrusted medieval reliquaries and runic tablets. Again like Dupin, there is no physical description of the Prince, he is as remote and intangible as Shiell’s prose style.

Baroness ‘Emmuska’ Orczy de Orci

Zaleski is more arrogant and even more learned than Dupin and his adventures are filled with vague references to Greek words, Latin quotations and obscure mythological figures. The stories are richly worded and have to be read to be believed: ‘Never without grief and pain could I remember the fate of Prince Zaleski -- victim of a too importunate, too unfortunate Love, which the fulgor of the throne itself could not abash; exile perforce from his native land, and voluntary exile from the rest of men! But during the time that what was called the “Pharanx labyrinth” was exercising many of the heaviest brains in the land, my thought turned repeatedly to him; and even when the affair had passed from the general attention, a bright day in Spring, combined perhaps with a latent mistrust of the denouement of that dark plot, drew me to his place of hermitage. I reached the gloomy abode of my friend as the sun set.’ BARONESS ‘EMMUSKA’ ORCZY (1865-1947) Or to give her full name: Baroness Emma Magdolna Rozália Mária Jozefa Borbála Orczy de Orci. (The usual form of her name is pronounced Em-moosh-ka Or-tsey). Hungarian-born De Orci was the daughter of Baron Félix Orczy de Orci, a well-known composer and conductor. She spoke no English until she was fifteen, although all her manuscripts are in that language. She originally trained to be an artist in London at the West London School of Art and then the Heatherley School of Fine Art, where she met her husband, Henry George Montagu MacLean Barstow. As a novelist and playwright, Orczy is best known for her series of novels featuring the Scarlet Pimpernel, the alter ego of Sir Percy Blakeney, a wealthy English fop who turns into a quick-thinking escape artist in order to save ill-fated French royalty from “Madame Guillotine” during the French revolution, establishing the “hero with a secret identity” into popular culture. But before the novels, The Scarlet Pimpernel was a play, written by the Baroness and her husband, Montagu Barstow, in 1903. Two years later producers accepted the play for London’s West End. Initially, it drew small audiences, but the play ran four years in London, broke many stage records, eventually playing more than 2,000 performances and becoming one of the most popular shows staged in Britain. This theatrical success generated huge sales for the novel which came out during the run of the play. She followed it up with a dozen more novels about Sir Percy. Baroness Orczy and her husband were hard up and wrote for cash - before striking it big with The Scarlet Pimpernel, she enjoyed a modest success with a series of detective stories published in the Royal Magazine, starting in 1901. She created three detectives, 43

of which the first and far and away the best and most interesting is ‘The Old Man In The Corner’. He remains anonymous throughout the stories and is the armchair detective par excellence. The ‘Old Man’ sits in the corner of and ABC Tea Shop consuming glasses of milk and pieces of cheesecake, endlessly tying and untying knots in a piece of string and giving his solutions to cases that have baffled the police. These cases are brought to him by a young reporter for The Evening Observer, Polly Burton. She brings the details of the currently insoluble cases to him, and he uses his deductive powers and giant intellect to unravel them. He claims “There is no such thing as a mystery in connection with any crime, providing intelligence is brought to bear upon its investigation.” He solves the most baffling crimes with ease but only when they present a challenge to his intellect. The ‘Old Man in the Corner’ is not concerned with justice at all, his sole purpose is to prove how clever he is. In many cases he appears to admire the villain and in one particular case (The Mysterious Death in Percy Street) the old man states that the murderer is ‘one of the most ingenious men of his age, who will never be caught’, smugly suggesting that he himself is that murderer. The Baroness’ second detective, chronologically speaking, is Lady Molly RobertsonKirk, appearing in 1910 in a collection of short stories, Lady Molly of Scotland Yard. Despite the fact that she works for Scotland Yard Lady Molly is essentially an amateur, who joins the Force to clear her fiancé of a false accusation. When she finally does clear his name after five years of trying, she marries him and quits the Force. She appears in twelve stories and has been slightingly spoken of by experts, including Julian Symons. The first story begins thusly: ‘Well, you know, some say she is the daughter of a duke, others that she was born in the gutter, and that the handle has been soldered on to her name in order to give her style and influence. I could say a lot, of course, but “my lips are sealed,” as the poets say. All through her successful career at the Yard she honoured me with her friendship and confidence, but when she took me in partnership, as it were, she made me promise that I

would never breathe a word of her private life, and this I swore on my Bible oath--”wish I may die,” and all the rest of it.’ Her last contribution is the first of the legal detectives, one Patrick Mulligan aka Skin O’ My tooth. He appeared in five stories which were collected in Skin o’ My Tooth. His Memoirs, By His Confidential Clerk (1928). Mulligan is an ugly, portly, but particularly sharp Irish lawyer who goes to great lengths (even unscrupulous ones) to get his clients off. Usually this involves him solving the crimes himself. The nickname comes from one client who described Mulligan freeing him “by the skin o’ my tooth.”

hoax.

‘fat and rosy and comfortable as an Irish pig, with a face as stodgy as a boiled currant dumpling. His hair, I believe, would be red if he gave it a chance at all, but he wears it cropped so close to his bulky head that he looks bald in some lights.’ ERNEST BRAMMAH SMITH (1868-1942) Ernest Brammah Smith, who changed his name to Ernest Bramah for his writings was a very private man and details about his early life are scarce. Until the publication of The Specimen Case (1924), in which he made a number of revelations about himself in the preface he was credited with no existence at all. There were two theories current. Firstly, that he didn’t exist and was the nom de plume of a famous literary personage. Secondly ‘Ernest Bramah’ was the front name for a group of authors and the books were an elaborate

Earnest Bramah Smith 44

He dropped out of Manchester Grammar School at the age of sixteen and went farming - firstly as a farm pupil then in his own right. He was supported in the venture by his father. The venture failed, costing his father the equivalent of 100,000 pounds in today’s money. Bramah’s first book was called English Farming and Why I Turned it Up. (1894). Despite the farming debacle his father continued to support him while he made his way as a writer. He obtained a position as Jerome K Jerome’s secretary and edited one of Jerome’s publications - Today. This was followed by other editorships of other magazines. He was an expert numismatist and wrote a book on the subject snappily entitled - A Guide to the Varieties and Rarity of English Regal Copper Coins, Charles II-Victoria, 1671–1860

(1929). This knowledge stood him in good when he wrote the first of his detective stories, The Coin of Dionysius (1914) and others. Bramah’s first and foremost claim to literary recognition is for his mock-Chinese stories collected as The Wallet of Kai Lung (1900); Kai Lung’s Golden Hours a(1922); Kai Lung Unrolls his Mat (1928); The Moon of Much Gladness (1932) and Kai Lung Beneath the Mulberry Tree (1940). The stories enjoyed an enormous vogue and show clever writing, including the creation of a sort of Mandarin Chinese English thus: “Kai Lung rose guardedly to his feet, with many gestures of polite assurance and having bowed several times to indicate his pacific nature, he stood in an attitude of deferential admiration. At this display the elder and less attractive of the maidens fled, uttering loud and continuous cries of apprehension to conceal the direction of her flight”. This facility led some readers to assume he had spent long years in the Orient , although this simply wasn’t so. Having established a reputation as a writer, Bramah entered the world of detective fiction in 1914 with the creation of the blind detective, Max Carrados. The Carrados stories were immensely popular at the time, published alongside the Holmes stories in The Strand, and, on occasion, outselling them, although they have failed to achieve the longevity of the Holmes tales. The characters and identities of Max Carrados and his usual accomplice Mr Carlyle are explained in the first story, The Coin of Dionysius. Mr Carlyle is a private investigator, running a private inquiry agency concerned mainly with divorce and defalcation. He is directed to the home of Wynn Carrados at The Turrets, Richmond, London, for an expert opinion on a tetradrachm of Dionysius the Elder of Sicily which he believes may be a forgery. At their meeting, the blind Carrados immediately recognises Mr Carlyle (from his voice) as his former schoolfriend, Louis Calling. Carlyle then recognizes him in turn as Max ‘Winning’ Wynn. Max explains that he was made financially independent by a rich American cousin who left him a fortune, on condition that he adopt the surname Carrados. He was blinded some twelve years prior to the first story, as a result of a minor incident while out horse-riding with a friend. His friend, who was leading, brushed past a twig which flicked back and caught Max in the eye. From this he was blinded by the illness called amaurosis. Carrados makes use of his remaining senses in such a way that his blindness is often not immediately apparent to others. A wealthy, cultured and urbane man, he is an expert numismatist with a large private collection of bronzes, and is a specialist in forgeries. Carrados can read print by finger-touch, uses a typewriter and smokes the most desirable and unobtainable cigars. He has a trusted

(sighted) manservant named Parkinson (who is trained to be highly observant but without placing his own interpretations on what he observes) and also a secretary, Mr Greatorex. Carlyle, his Watson, was formerly a solicitor, who was struck off for his supposed involvement with the falsifying of a trust account. After this scandal he changed his name and set up the inquiry agency, which is fronted by an ex-Scotland Yard policeman. Carrados uses his wealth to pursue his talent for detection, help his friend Carlyle and he accepts no fees. Bramah is at pains to point out that Carrados’ blindness does not hinder him ‘So far from crippling his interests in life or his energies, it has merely impelled him to develop those senses which in most of us lie dormant and practically unused. Thus you will understand that while he may be at a disadvantage when you are at an advantage, he is at an advantage when you are at a disadvantage.’ Carrados phrases it in this way ‘a new world to explore , new experience, new powers awaken, strange new perceptions; life in the fourth dimension.’ Carrados’ other four senses become so highly developed in compensation that his sense of smell is so acute that he can detect a man wearing a false moustache because ’he carries a five-yard aura of spirit gum.’ The relationship between Carlyle and Carrados is a delicate one, and rather more deeply explored than is usual in the ‘great detective’ tradition. Carrados has a kindly sense of humour and Carlyle is completely humourless . The interchange between the two are some of the high points of the stories. Carrados has a strict sense of justice but like other Great detectives of the period takes the administration of justice into his own hands from time to time. Unlike most crime writers, Bramah sometimes links his stories to actual social events of the time. For example, in The Knight’s Cross Signal Problem, a young Indian responds to Carlyle’s indignation over his terrorist attack by replying ‘Do you realise, Mr Carlyle, that you and your government and your soldiers are responsible for the death of thousands of innocent men and women in my country every day.’ The first adventures of the blind detective were collected as Max Carrados (1914), followed by two more short story collections, The Eyes of Max Carrados (1923) and Max Carrados Mysteries (1927). By this stage short stories were less and less popular and the novel was taking their place. In 1934 the only Max Carrados novel was published - The Bravo of London. It was not very successful, although it did have some nice touches - but spoilt for me by some off-colour touches. He died at the age of 74 in Westonsuper-Mare, Somerset. Next time we shall be looking at more Silver Age detectives and their creators. 45

SWAN VALLEY

SWEET TEMPTATIONS

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THE IDLER The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Mind

TENNIS TICKS

GLENNYS MARSDON

ummer in Australia means tennis. Okay it also means cricket, and the beach, and prawns and a whole lot of other things, but in our household it’s mainly tennis. Our love of a bouncing green ball used to begin just after Christmas with the Hopman Cup. It’s continued with the new ATP Cup. Little did I know the dramatic impact this competition would have on my life. Running over ten days, players from twenty-four countries completed 129 matches in front of 220,000 Australian fans. Unlike the Hopman Cup, the ATP Cup has introduced Team Zones, which looked like little café booths at the end of each court, minus the coffee I assume, although who knows. The whole team (apart from the players obviously) provides advice from the booth at the end of each game. Talk about armchair critics. There’s also a Service Clock on display so the audience can countdown the last ten seconds before the server fires down an ace. Talking about aces. For every ace served, $100 was donated to Tennis Australia’s Aces For Bushfire Relief. As a result 132,200 aces were served meaning 132,200 was donated, an excellent initiative. This year was also the first time Perth tennis fanatics go to watch Raffa Nadel play in person. Not only did we get to watch his extreme physical prowess, we also gained a greater appreciation of his well-known quirks. If you’re a tennis fan you’d be well aware of his precise bottle placement. Every time he takes a drink, he carefully places the bottle back on the ground in the same position he retrieved it from. I’ve often wondered why he takes so long doing this. I now know it’s because he’s making sure the labels point toward his side of the court. What I didn’t realise what that at the end of each game he has a specific way of retrieving the two towels he’s taken out onto the court. After approaching the end of the net, he lets his opponent pass first, then waits for the ball boy or girl to hand him his towels. The towels must be retrieved prior to him setting foot on the other side of the net. Speaking of feet, it was interesting to watch him run back on court, making sure he always walks on right foot first, stays within the tramlines, and scuffs his feet across the city sign printed at the baseline. I can imagine this being a useful tactic on clay courts but am unsure about its legitimacy on rubber. As I watched on, I considered how much extra brain space and

added stress these habits must add to his game. The ATP Cup backs up against the Australian Open. Consequently, the first month of the year is always taken up by tennis. In all that means around thirty days of tennis. Psychologists say it takes twenty-one days to make a new habit. Given this I’m a tad worried about what happened in my shower on the second last day of the Australian Open. Showering is an individual private thing, usually, and most of us have firmly established routines. Did you know that the average shower takes eight minutes? In case you were wondering according to research the optimal routine for maximum effect is: turn on the tapes, check shower temperature, brush your hair to get rid of any tangles, shampoo thoroughly, don’t leave conditioner on for extra time (who knew), clean your body, wash your face at the sink (so you can wash in hot water first then immediately refresh your face with cold water to close up your pores), don’t over scrub, rinse hair in cold water and lastly apply moisturizer immediately. Clearly, I was failing on a couple of points. Anyway, prior to learning this I set about my usual routine. The daily ritual started off well, turning on the tap and checking the temperature. Tick. Once satisfied with the temperature I stepped in and rinsed my hair. As I did so the clean water dripped down into my eyes. Without thinking I found myself brushing water out of each eye, as you would. However, it was how I did it that was a concern. Without thinking I found myself using one hand to wipe down my nose. Then touched my ear, nose, ear, brushing my index finger under one eye then the other. Nose, ear, nose, ear, eye, eye. Where had I seen that before? Nadal. I’d inadvertently picked up one of his most famous pre-serve ticks. Not to worry I was sure it was a one off. A few minutes later however, as I stepped out of the shower, right foot first, I reached out for the fluffy white towel on the rack. But it wasn’t my normal quick right hand grab for the towel, no. Both hands moved to the middle of my chest and then together they stretched out to the towards the towel. Once again, I didn’t pick up the towel. The towel wasn’t retrieved until I’d turned and made this loving gesture to each corner of the room. It seems I’d also subconsciously taken on Novak Djokovic’s post game salute to the crowd. It being a hot summers day, friends had asked me to their pool and so I dressed in teal coloured linen shorts and a white blouse. As I checked my appearance in the mirror, I adjusted each shoulder again recognising the Nadal inspiration behind the move. Walking out the door I could only hope I won’t spend the rest of the day mimicking his other famous retrieval tug. There’s only one thing left to say … thank God for Roger Federer.

SWAN VALLEY AND REGIONAL NETWORK FREE COMMUNITY WORKSHOPS

WRITING WINNING GRANTS

he Bassendean and Swan Volunteer Resource Centres invite you to attend two free community workshops:

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 Government grants are becoming scarcer and more difficult to obtain. Get your creative juices flowing; you will leave the workshop with lots of new ideas about how you can raise funds for your organisation beyond sausage sizzles and chocolate frogs. Aimed at first-time grant writers and those looking for guidance on the grant writing process, this course acts as an important introduction to the world of philanthropy, grant making and grant seeking.

PLANNING A COMMUNITY EVENT?

Wednesday, 19 February 2020 An Introduction to Event Management for community groups. An event is an effective way of bringing together the community and displaying your group and its objectives, this Workshop will be an overview of what you need to know to organise a successful and safe event. Facilitated by Gabriella Filippi —Senior Cultural Development Officer, Town of Bassendean. Register Here: www.trybooking.com/BHTQY

Facilitated by Wendy Lamotte —The Human Connection. Register Here: www.trybooking.com/BHTRN 9am — 9.30am Registration 9.30am—1.30pm workshop (light morning tea will be provided) Bookings are essential and places are limited! If you RSVP and are no longer able to attend please let us know so someone else can take your place.

5.30pm Registration, Complimentary Refreshments and networking opportunity 6pm—8pm Workshop *************************************************************************

CANNY GRAPES

Anja hosted over one-hundred wine classes since 2017 and creates new wine experiences for her loyal followers on a regular basis. Bubbles, Riesling, Spanish Rosados, Champagne, Grenache and Tempranillo, what a delicious wine journey we have ahead of us in the next couple months. With Valentine's Day approaching fast don't miss out in case you wanted to surprise your Valentine with a fun and educational wine class.

anny Grapes fun and educational wine tasting classes are about tasting and exploring the world of wine. Anja Lewis is a wine enthusiast who was introduced in to the world of wine and champagne in the Caribbean while working on private yachts, she’s a grape lover who continuously travels learning everything about wine. She loves taking wine lovers on a journey, tasting delicious wines, discovering wine regions, terroir and wine styles, learning about taste, aroma and colour while sharing a story or two about the wines and the talented winemakers.

Anja Lewis 48

SWAN VALLEY AND REGIONAL NETWORK NAVAL BASE HORSE BEACH EVEN LAWRENCE

high proportion of Equine Riders, Trainers from around the state use Naval Base Horse Beach. I am part of the Bushfire Mitigation Program within Water Corporation who are currently undertaking works at Riseley Road. As land owners Water Corporation need to make sure our blocks comply with local government Fire Break regulations. This particular block of land has recently been introduced within our program works schedule as a priority due to the fact that vehicles are regularly gaining access to the site. One of the easiest things we can due from a Bushfire Mitigation point of view is to limit the access to vehicles getting on to the site and to secure the site and prevent the risk of further degradation on the block and the beach as well as lessen the risk of fire starting on the block and impacting the public and nearby infrastructure. There has been a long standing agreement with the City of Kwinana that we would continue to allow access for beach goers and horse riders and this will not change now or in the foreseeable future – Water Corporation is quite happy with the fact the beach is being used by responsible horse owners and members of the public and this won’t change, we just need to make the site secure from vehicular access. Once works have been completed all access to the beach will remain for horse owners and the general public. The works which which commenced on Tuesday 28th January, 2020 , and will involve the temporary

closure of the carpark area so that a contractor can remove the existing fences and install large limestone boulders to stop vehicles only. Once the works are complete the public will be able to access the beach via the same means as before. Access to the beach (for horse owners with floats) will be available via the driveway on the Northern end of the block (near the desal plant) whilst we have heavy machinery working on the southern end for approximately 2-3 days as of Tuesday. I hope this clears up any confusion or misunderstanding – if you have any questions contact the Water Corporation dealing with the project

City of Kwinana (Photograph by V Tapper) 49

FOOTNOTE PEOPLE IN HISTORY ‘MAD’ MIKE HOARE (1919 - 2020)

homas Michael 'Mad Mike' Hoare, who was considered the world's most famous mercenary and inspired the film The Wild Geese, has died at the age of a hundred. Hoare was born on Saint Patrick’s Day in Calcutta to Irish parents. At the age of eight he was sent to school in England and then began training in accountancy and, as he was not able to go to Sandhurst, he joined the Territorial Army. When World War II broke out he joined the London Irish Rifles at the age of twenty, later he joined the 2nd Reconnaissance Regiment of the Royal Armoured Corps as a Second lieutenant and fought in the Arakan Campaign in Burma and at the Battle of Kohima in India. He was promoted to the rank of major. After the war, he completed his training as a chartered accountant, qualifying in 1948. He subsequently emigrated to Durban, Natal Province in, what was then, the Union of South Africa. He left accountancy and ran a motor car business. In 1954, he motorcycled across Africa from Cape Town to Cairo. In 1958 he set up a safari business in the Kalahari and the Okavango delta. A keen sailor, he had a yacht in Durban, then later bought a 23 metre Baltic trader called Sylvia in which he sailed the Western Mediterranean for three years with his family and wrote a book about the travels.

THE CONGO CRISIS

Hoare led two separate mercenary groups during the Congo Crisis (1961–65). Hoare’s first mercenary action was in 1961 in Katanga, a province trying to break away from the newly independent Republic of the Congo. He was recruited by Katanga leader Moïse Tshombe, who was defeated in his secession attempt but later rose to become Congolese prime minister. Hoare’s unit was called 4 Commando. Three years later, then Prime Minister Moïse Tshombe, his employer in Katanga, hired Major Hoare to lead a military unit called 5 Commando, Armée Nationale Congolaise (not to be confused with the British World War II commando group of the same designation) made up of about three hundred men most of whom were from South Africa. His second-in-command was a fellow ex-British Army officer, Commandant Alistair Wicks. The unit’s mission was to fight a revolt known as the Simba rebellion. Later Hoare and his mercenaries worked in concert with Belgian paratroopers, Cuban exile pilots, and CIA-hired mercenaries who attempted to save 1,600 civilians (mostly Europeans and missionaries) in Stanleyville from the Simba rebels in Operation Dragon Rouge. This operation saved many lives. On one occasion a bullet grazed his forehead when he was shot in a rebel ambush, but he escaped with only a minor injury. His commando force was mainly made up of troops from South Africa and what was then Rhodesia, but included some Britons. Hoare was later promoted to lieutenant-colonel in the Armée Nationale Congolaise and 5 Commando was expanded into a two-battalion force. Hoare commanded 5 Commando from July 1964 to November 1965. Commando 5’s flag and insignia was a Wild Goose, inspired by a 17th century Irish mercenary army and the group were known collectively as the ‘Wild Geese’. The rebellion was eventually put down after an eighteen

month campaign and Hoare became a household name. Speaking on the conflict, he said, “I had wanted nothing so much as to have 5 Commando known as an integral part of the Armée Nationale Congolaise, a 5 Commando destined to strike a blow to rid the Congo of the greatest cancer the world has ever known—the creeping, insidious disease of communism. Later, Hoare wrote his own account of 5 Commando’s role in the 1960s Congo mercenary war, originally titled Congo Mercenary and much later repeatedly republished in paperback simply as Mercenary. After giving up command of his mercenaries in the Congo, Hoare lived in Durban with his wife and four children and enjoyed his hobby of yachting.

THE WILD GEESE

In the mid-1970s, Euan Lloyd and Andrew McLaglen wanted to make a film based on a novel by Rhodesian author Daniel Carney called The Thin White Line about a group of mercenaries who are on a mission to rescue a deposed leader. Hoare was hired as technical adviser for the film named The Wild Geese. The character ‘Colonel Alan Faulkner’ (played by Richard Burton) was modeled on Hoare. At least one of the actors in the film, Ian Yule, had been a mercenary under Hoare’s command, before which he had served in the British Parachute Regiment and Special Air Service (SAS).

THE SEYCHELLES AFFAIR

In 1978, Seychelles exiles in South Africa, acting on behalf of ex-president James Mancham, discussed with South African Government officials launching a coup d’état against the new 50

president France-Albert René, who had “promoted” himself from prime minister while Mancham was out of the country. The coup was seen favorably by some in Washington, D.C., due to the United States’ concerns over access to its new military base on Diego Garcia island, the necessity to move operations from the Seychelles to Diego Garcia, and the determination that René was not someone who would be in favour of the United States. Associates of Mancham contacted Hoare, then in South Africa as a civilian resident, to fight alongside fifty-three other mercenary soldiers, including ex-South African Special Forces, former Rhodesian soldiers, and ex-Congo mercenaries. Hoare got together, in November 1981, a group of mercenaries, and dubbed them “Ye Ancient Order of Froth Blowers” after a charitable English social club of the 1920s. In order for the plan to work, he disguised the mercenaries as a rugby club, and hid AK-47s in the bottom of his luggage, as he explained in his book The Seychelles Affair: ‘The group of more than forty entered the country disguised as a beer-drinking tourist party called the Froth Blowers, hoping to overthrow president Albert Rene and re-install former leader James Mancham. We were a Johannesburg beer-drinking club. We met formally once a week in our favourite pub in Braamfontein. We played Rugby. Once a year we organised a holiday for our members. We obtained special charter rates. Last year we went to Mauritius. In the best traditions of the original AOFB we collected toys for underprivileged kids and distributed them to orphanages ... I made sure the toys were as bulky as possible and weighed little. Rugger footballs were ideal. These were packed in the special baggage above the false bottom to compensate for the weight of the weapon.‘ However, the fighting started prematurely when one of Hoare’s men accidentally got into the “something to declare” line and the customs officer insisted on searching his bag. The rifles were well-concealed in the false-bottomed kitbags; however, one rifle was found and a customs officer sounded the alarm. One of Hoare’s men pulled his own, disassembled AK-47 from the concealed compartment in the luggage, assembled it, loaded it and shot the escaping customs man before he could reach the other side of the building. The plan for the coup proceeded despite this set-back with one team of Hoare’s men attempting to capture a barracks. Fighting ensued at the airport and in the middle of this, an Air India jet, Flight 224, landed at the airport. Hoare managed to negotiate a ceasefire before the aircraft and passengers were caught in the crossfire. After several hours, the mercenaries found themselves in an unfavorable position where some wanted to depart on the aircraft, which needed fuel. Hoare conceded and the captain of the aircraft allowed them on board after Hoare had found fuel for the aircraft. Hoare’s men still had their weapons and Hoare asked the captain if he would allow the door to be opened so they could ditch the weapons over the sea before they returned to South Africa, but the captain laughed at Hoare’s out-of-date knowledge on how pressurized aircraft functioned, telling him it would not be at all possible. Six of mercenary soldiers were left behind and four were convicted of treason and sentenced to death by firing squad, although all were later pardoned and deported. In January 1982 an International Commission, appointed by the United Nations Security Council in Resolution 496, inquired into the attempted coup d’état. The UN report concluded that South African defence agencies

were involved, including supplying weapons and ammunition. The attempt was widely ridiculed as a 'package holiday coup' after Hoare had arrived in the Seychelles on a Royal Swazi flight booked through a budget travel firm. Hoare was arrested, tried and found guilty of airplane hijacking and sentenced to ten years in prison. In total, forty-two of the forty-three alleged hijackers were convicted. One of the mercenaries, an American veteran of the Vietnam War, was found not guilty of hijacking, as he had been seriously wounded in the firefight and was loaded aboard while sedated. As he was sentenced Hoare told the court: ‘I did my duty as I saw it, I brought my men home safely and I am proud of that.’ Many of the other mercenaries, including the youngest of the group, Raif St Clair, were quietly released after three months in their own prison wing. Hoare himself only served nearly three years in jail before receiving a presidential pardon and moving to France where he lived for the next twenty years. His son Chris: 'Mike Hoare lived by the philosophy that you get more out of life by living dangerously, so it is all the more remarkable that he lived more than a hundred years. 'Most people who met Mike described him as a legend, and as an officer and a gentleman; only a few realised there was a bit of pirate thrown in. 'Known as "Mad Mike", he was short and dapper, impossibly charming, unaccountably enigmatic, always polite, strangely proper, absolutely sane, good natured, a brilliant leader and an absolute legend.' He also wrote several books about his career, including Congo Warriors and The Seychelles Affair, which was markedly critical of the South African establishment.

THE DAY THE CLOUDS ROLLED AWAY PHILIP BENWELL

they could not be half in and half out. The break must be total, particularly as the couple were seeking to commence upon a commercial venture, about which more later. Some days following the release of the Sussex’s statement, the Queen summoned a meeting with the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry following which Her Majesty, issued a statement, unusually, in her own name: ... ‘My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan’s desire to create a new life as a young family. Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working Members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family.’ ... Since then, there have been announcements that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will no longer use the prefix ‘His (or Her) Royal Highness and they will pay back to the public purse the cost of renovations to Frogmore Cottage, amounting to around $A4.6 million. They will also receive no funding from the Sovereign Grant. However, there are concerns regarding the comment in the Harry-Meghan statement that “they intend to “carve out a progressive new role within this institution.” Presumably they mean the Royal Family, but they could also mean the monarchy itself. I have sought information from the Palace on what is meant by ‘progressive’ in this regard. But the main concern must come from their intention to establish a commercial venture ‘Sussex Royal’. They already have a website under that name, but it deals only with general issues. Expectations are that the couple will establish a production company, possibly in partnership with Netflix, and also have an involvement in the fashion industry. Their sponsorship could be worth millions but is fraught with danger – memories of the divorced Duchess of York promoting Weight-Watchers on television and also attempting to be paid half a million pounds sterling for access to her husband, Prince Andrew. (It used to be ‘brownenvelopes’ that were used in such matters, but, in this instance, it was a suitcase.) It may all work out - after all, Prince Harry is a decent person and a former Army officer, but everything he and Meghan do, will be scrutinised by the media which will all be fodder for a republican resurrection in Australia. So, to all those members and supporters

he victory of Scott Morrison in 2019 saw an end to the republic proposals of Bill Shorten. The republicans seemed to go into a period of stasis with the issue becoming dormant. The future for the current system of constitutional monarchy seemed to be bright with any thought of a campaign years off. However the clear skies only lasted for some six months before dark clouds gathered on the horizon again, this time exacerbated by the shock announcement by Harry and Megan that they were giving up their position as senior royals and were going off to live in Canada. Now, in normal circumstances, for a person in the public spotlight to take a step back or retire from a public position is nothing really unusual. After all, politicians and premiers do it all the time. However, this was different. We now know that the couple had been negotiating with the Queen and the Prince of Wales for some months, but obviously wanted to bring things to a head and made their ill-considered announcement obviously without the Queen’s permission. It was this announcement, made on Instagram of all places, that brought matters to a turbulent head and sent shockwaves throughout the world. However, to explain the stepping-back in perspective, may I say that Britain has had a royal family as long as it has had a King but the concept of that family being totally engaged in public activities is a more recent concept. The most important figures in the Royal family are those in the immediate line of succession, which is, essentially, those who would be King. Other members gradually move on to do their own things. In more recent times we have seen this with the descendants of Queen Victoria onwards. The Queen’s own sister, Princess Margaret, became a part-time royal, as are her cousins, the descendants of George V. There is therefore nothing untoward in the Duke and Duchess of Sussex seeking to be more independent and to live their own lives. Prince Harry, once third in line to the throne, is now sixth in line after his (nearly) two-year old nephew Prince Louis, and his place in the Succession will move further down the line as the children of his brother, the Duke of Cambridge, have their own children. He, and his wife, the Duchess of Sussex, like others before them, believe it is now time for them to carve out a life for themselves and their son. However, whilst they were granted their wish of stepping back, it was made clear that 52

who felt we no longer serve a purpose – please think again because there are rocky roads ahead.

REPUBLICANS TAKE ADVANTAGE

Of course, this presented an irresistible opportunity which republicans were not shy in making use of who immediately claimed that “if Prince Harry can quit the monarchy, why can’t we?” Of course, the media took this up in full swing and the whole republic roundabout started all over again. And then came a new twist. The Australian Republican Movement announced that they were changing tack. No longer The Queen and the heirs to the Throne, The Prince of Wales, the Duke of Cambridge and would they pursue a series Prince George, stirring the Christmas pudding (Photograph courtesy of AML) of plebiscite but would, instead, conduct a two-year The official explanation was that the Prince of Wales had consultative process of meetings and surveys to determine a spent time with Mr Pence before the line-up and that, according model and would then take that model direct to a referendum. to protocol, the Vice President, was not a head of state. Whatever For them it means a constant stream of media attention over the the explanation, I’m afraid it was a bad look and should not have next two years and for myself and our team, it means a gruelling happened. Those who advise the Prince of Wales should have time in having to continually be ready to meet any challenge the known this. media may throw at us. Furthermore, His Royal Highness has been coming out more Stormy clouds ahead indeed and all because Harry and emphatically in support of issues he believes strongly in. Since he Megan don’t want to fulfil the role to which Harry was born. is not the monarch, he is entitled to express views, but he is now Of course, taking a plebiscite off the table is good for in a sort of sub-regency position representing the Queen more us because we could well lose a simple, but tricky question and more and should therefore not be so controversial in his which people would answer without thinking whereas with a comments. referendum the detail of change must be put to them. His mother, like her father and grandfather before her, has A plebiscite only requires 50+1% majority of those who may been a strict adherent of the rules laid out by Walter Bagehot in bother to vote whereas a referendum under section 128 of the The English Constitution; (1867) put simply that the monarch has Australian Constitution requires a majority vote in a majority of three rights: States plus a nationwide majority vote. the right to be consulted, However, I don’t accept that republicans would forgo the right to encourage, and the right to warn. an opportunity to receive an easier mandate from the people You may be asking “why is this person, who heads a and thus undermine our constitutional arrangements with a monarchist organisation, speaking such about members of the plebiscite win. In other words, I don’t trust them. royal family.” The fact is, we exist to protect the Crown in this Of course, the statement by Peter FitzSimons was, as most of country. his statements are, filled with misinformation. He talked about Without the Crown, we have no constitution without the campaigning for independence from the British monarchy, but constitution, we have no democracy, only chaos. My job is the fact is Australia is already a sovereign, independent nation. It therefore to do whatever I can to defend our constitutional crown is by our choice that we have the Queen as our sovereign head of even if it means speaking out against members of the royal family state. who, through their actions, are potentially damaging the Crown The Queen is Queen of Australia and acts on the advice in this country. on the advice of her Australian ministers. She is represented In fact, I have written expressing concerns on many in Australia by a Governor-General - now always an Australian occasions. Once, when I was in St James’s Palace, I was told by - who, upon appointment, becomes executive head of state. the then secretary to the Prince of Wales that if I was living in the However, the media does not want to listen to the truth, only to days of the first Elizabeth, I would have been sent to the Tower the lies that suit their own purpose. long ago!

THE PRINCE OF WALES

There has been concern that the Prince of Wales snubbed the Vice President of the United States at the World Holocaust Forum in Jerusalem. Admittedly, it looks that way particularly with Mike Pence ready to shake the hand of Prince Charles as he went down the line.

COST-EFFECTIVE MONARCHY

Here’s betting a pound to a penny that the pundits at the Australian Republican Movement (ARM) are all sympathetic to the recent decision of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to withdraw from their duties as members of the royal family. Continued on page 56 ... 53

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We are a non-profit, non-government funded charity that provide peer call support, group meetings, a drop in centre, sending out quarterly newsletters, Anniversary Cards, we hold Walk of remembrance and a candlelight service (non-religious) at Christmas. We are run by volunteers and bereaved parents that are further along in their grief and wish to help others who have suffered this tragedy. Although everybody’s grief is different it helps to talk to someone who has actually had this tragedy happen to them. They WON”T say “I know how you feel” as no one can, but they will say “I don’t know exactly what you are feeling but this is how I felt when my child died”.

WALK OF REMEMBRANCE HELD IN MARCH EACH YEAR Events like these above give the bereaved some hope of a life after the death of their child. They connect with others that have been through the same tragic experience. In doing so its helps them to feel that they are not alone in their grief, that there is a worldwide connection to other suffering the same. DONATIONS Donations allow us to purchase stamps so we can send our booklets and other information to the newly bereaved, community groups, doctors surgeries and hospital throughout Western Australia. They help us cover advertising cost in newspapers throughout Western Australia, pay for our office and utilities allowing us to have Peer Support Workers come in and contact to bereaved that wish to have contact. The Compassionate Friends of WA Inc. receives no Government funding in any way.

We raise funds by holding events, charity drives and donation from our members and outside bodies. Although this is fantastic, we still struggle with the cost of keeping our doors open so any suggestion on fundraising or donations are gratefully accepted. VOLUNTEERS NEEDED We are always looking for volunteers to help man Sausage Sizzles, Charity Shopping Centre Drives and other events along with peer support volunteers (bereaved parents) for telephone support and group meeting facilitation.

54 Simpson Street, Ardross 6107 6257

Concluded from page 53 ... Doubtless they think the royal couple have been hard done by. Why, one may ask, would republicans be sympathetic to the decision of the Duke and Duchess? Well, in my view, the answer is not far to seek. It is simply just another opportunity, as I suspect they see it, to attack the Monarchy and so continue their unprincipled campaign to bring it down. In reality, of course, they couldn’t care less about the Duke and Duchess even if the couple themselves risk damaging the Monarchy in their own way. Certain media commentators speak of a “slimmed down” Monarchy, and of removing minor royals from funding, but then complain sanctimoniously and hypocritically when these same dispossessed royals try to earn a living like the rest of us. In so commenting, these media cynics – and many politicians, too - simply demonstrate how little they know of the subject. To begin with, they do not even know that minor royals are no longer funded by the Civil List. The Queen and the Prince of Wales pay for them, out of their own money. The real truth is that the Monarchy is incredibly costeffective – for the British, for Australians and, indeed, for the whole Commonwealth. The Monarchy is funded by money that has always been the Monarch’s own money and by a royal largesse that is quite extraordinarily generous. The Sovereign Grant currently amounts to a mere £44 million p.a. (excluding sums to be spent on re-servicing Buckingham Palace) with everything else being paid for by the Queen, or Prince of Wales, themselves out of their own pockets or from other royal sources. The Sovereign Grant Act 2011 came into effect from 1 April 2012 to consolidate the funding provided to support the official duties of the Queen and to maintain the occupied royal Palaces. It replaced the funding hitherto known as the Civil List. However, these sums were originally “granted” in exchange for the surrender by the Crown of the revenue from the Crown Estate i.e. from the estate that has always been the property of the Crown. Until 1760 the British Monarch met all official expenses from hereditary revenues which included net income from the

Crown Estate, the sum of all property owned by the Monarch. The value of the Crown Estate today is about £Stg14.1 Billion. In 1760, King George III agreed to surrender the hereditary revenues of the Crown in return for a sum, tiny by comparison, voted by Parliament and called “the Civil List”. The Crown Estate thereby remained the property of the Monarch but the hereditary revenues of the Crown were placed at the disposal of the House of Commons. In short, this was an enormous gift by King George III to the nation, in return for relinquishing the responsibility for the maintenance of civil government. However, under the Civil List, this surrender by the Crown, of the revenues of the Crown Estate to the Treasury, had to be renewed at the start of every new reign. Yet even this was deemed insufficient and, under the Sovereign Grant Act 2012, the gift is now considered permanent, no longer renewed at the start of each reign, and the size of the Sovereign Grant is fixed by Parliament. Parliament simply decided that it would seize these revenues permanently, whether the Queen liked it or not, and in return would give her back a sum that they decided upon, in their own absolute discretion. If this were done to any private citizen, it would be called theft on a grand scale. In short, the Crown has, since 1688, been progressively “fleeced” by politicians of the lion’s share of its income. Now, in return, the Crown receives but a fraction of that income, the amount of which only the politicians decide. And yet still some complain that the Monarchy costs too much! Moreover, the government's profits from the Crown Estate always vastly exceeded the amounts effectively paid back to the Crown under the Civil List. For instance, the Queen received an annual £7.9 million a year from the Civil List between 2001 and 2012 but the income to the Treasury from the Crown Estate was about £Stg211 million in 2007-8. Further, she has no control over the management of her own “public” estate which is in the hands of Commissioners. Still yet further, the Queen and the Prince of Wales now voluntarily pay the equivalent of tax (income, inheritance and other taxes) to the Treasury out of their incomes from the Duchy of Lancaster, the Duchy of Cornwall and their private incomes. And yet further still, since the Sovereign Grant Act 2012, minor royals no longer receive the grants they had under the Civil List and so have to be paid for by the Queen and the Prince of Wales. The Crown Estate surplus for the financial year 2016-17 amounted to £Stg 328.8 million, but the amount paid back to the Queen, i.e. the core Sovereign Grant to meet all her royal obligations, was a mere £49.3 million for 2018-19 (excluding the sums for reservicing Buckingham Palace). The Civil List (now Sovereign Grant) is, in fact, simply money provided by the royal family in the first place. Thus, the real cost to the British taxpayer is, in reality, very much less than nothing. Compare and contrast this with a US President who costs the US taxpayer $1 billion (yes -billion with a “b”!) in a non-election year – and much more in an election year. And for your money what do you get? Bill Clinton, Barack Obama or Donald Trump! The British, on the other hand, get the best monarch in the world for nothing – and Australians get her virtually for free, too. If a republic were introduced in Australia, the Australian taxpayer could expect to be presented with a similar bill to that of the US taxpayer, instead of the tiny sums they have to pay for the present Monarch. Let’s face it, there is simply no comparison. 56

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