She Rocs July/August 2017

FR EE JULY/AUGUST 2017

MODEL MOMS ‘Momagers’ help make daughters’ dreams come true

LAUREN VS. CANCER

Laughing through the fight of her life

INSIDE

• Suffragist City: A summer of celebration • While the kids are away ... the parents will play!

• Scream for ice cream: the most popular spots She Rocs

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WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE BREANNA BANFORD is the Yelp Rochester community director. She brings the online community offline, connecting people to great local businesses through collaborative events and marketing partnerships. As a Rochester native, Breanna lives, breathes, and eats for this city. When she’s not hosting events for the Yelp community, you’ll almost always find her with rosé in one hand and french fries in the other.

MEAMI CRAIG, PH.D., holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and human development from Harvard University and a doctorate in psychology. A long-time media personality, she gave advice for 20 years on WARM 101.3 and was a popular columnist and blogger with weekly newspapers and The Democrat and Chronicle, focusing on relationships and family. She is currently writing a book and hosts a weekly radio show on WYSL 1040 AM and 92.1 AM (and online) titled “Change Your Life with Meami Craig” from 6:30 to 7 p.m. every Wednesday.

ELIZABETH CRONY is a woman of action, whether executing a marketing plan or mastering de-cluttering and cleaning a house. With a degree and background in fashion and merchandising, she is a founding member of Femfessionals Rochester and COO of Big Thinkers LLC, as well as the former president of Blacktie Colorado.

She is a happily married mom of two young girls.

MARY FINUCANE co-facilitates the Rochester Veteran Writing Workshop held at Writers and Books, open to all veterans and their family members. She enjoyed participating in Listen To Your Mother 2017, an annual event also sponsored by Writers and Books, where she presented this issue’s She Rocs essay. She is parent to a fantastic 10-year-old, who teaches her about technology.

Mary still sends texts that are punctuated, but not succinct.

DAWN KELLOGG is the communications manager for Geva Theatre Center. She has been in the arts for most of her life and considers herself very lucky to work in an industry that she loves.

SUE HENNINGER is a freelance writer who loves exploring and writing about the unique people, places, and events in the Finger Lakes fegion and beyond.

She’s an avid blogger and the coauthor of The Ultimate Guide to College Transfer: From Surviving to Thriving. Sue has three grown sons and is enjoying her empty nest in Trumansburg, N.Y. with her husband and a rescue dog. Connect with her at SueHenninger.com After a more than 30-year career in community journalism, LINDA QUINLAN likes to say she is “semi”retired. She is now a freelance writer, serves more than one cause as a volunteer, is a caregiver for her mother, and a proud grandmother. She is married, has three grown children, a granddaughter, a cat, and a dog. When not writing, she likes to read and garden.

DANTE WORTH is a success mentor and author based in Rochester who released his book Free to Be Me in 2014. He has studied PR and communications at SUNY Brockport. In the community he has organized and hosted motivational seminars, the Black Authors Expo, and three installments of ROC Mastery Writing Seminars.

Each spring he hosts the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference, bringing together women and men to enable, empower, and inspire them to live life with victorious freedom.

CONTENTS FEATURES

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Cover Story Model moms supporting their model daughters Parents Can Play While the kids are away … grown-up fun in the Finger Lakes Lauren vs. Cancer Laughing through the fight of her life

16 18 22

Suffragist City Deborah Hughes marks 10 years with National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House “My Mother, Technology, & Me” Non-fiction essay

by Mary Finucane Family, Food, & Fun Meet restaurateur Kelly Metras

MODEL MOMS ‘Momagers’ help make daughters’ dreams come true

ALSO INSIDE

LAUREN VS. CANCER:

8 Keep Calm and Call Dr. Meami What comes from the heart goes to the heart

Laughing through the fight of her life

INSIDE:

• Suffragist City: A summer of celebration • While the kids are away ... the parents will play!

• Scream for ice cream: the most popular spots

15 The Audacious Believer Live life, enjoy life 20 Help from Yelp The most popular ice cream spots 21 The Organized Clutterbug Clean now for fun and sun later

ON THE COVER

Mom-and-daughter duo Elizabeth and Madeline Berl of Victor are best friends.

Navigating 16-year-old Madeline’s performing career has made them very close. In our cover story, also meet model mom and daughter Tracy and Sarah Armstrong, also of Victor.

(Photo by Renee Veniskey) She Rocs

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Model Moms

By DRESDEN ENGLE

Clearing the runway to support their daughters’ careers

Tracy Armstrong, left, and daughter Sarah are enjoying a “model” mother-daughter relationship – spending quality time together while Sarah navigates her professional modeling career.

PHOTO BY RENEE VENISKEY

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Two moms in Victor are especially career-focused. Sure, they’re focused on their own careers — Tracy Armstrong on her work as a consultant and Elizabeth Berl on her job at Paychex.

But the career that has them both traveling to New York City and beyond on a regular basis and the one that tugs at their hearts is that of each of their daughters.

Eighteen-year-old Sarah Armstrong and 16-year-old Madeline Berl are professional models.

Sarah, a June 2017 graduate of Victor High School, is making a go of it, after working from a distance for two years.

Madeline is planning to model in New York and Rochester as often as she can, but is opting to focus on her AP studies at Mercy High School as well as college and musical theater.

While she has been modeling for a decade, Madeline knows that at 5 feet 7 inches tall (“and a half,” she noted), she can’t make a full-time career out of runway modeling. Besides, she wants to be an actress more.

Sarah, at 5 feet 10 inches tall, has already walked the runways of New York City, Paris, and London and has been featured in Teen Vogue. She is signed with prestigious modeling agency IMG and has agents in three major cities.

But how can these smart teens — who are regular gals at school when the heels and makeup are off — live this dual life?

The answer: Their moms.

Tracy and Sarah

As we met up for their mother-daughter interview, passionate mom Tracy worked to remain low-key and calm as we talked of their trips and glamour tales. She tries to not appear too eager or excited … just as her daughter has asked her to do when they are shoulder-to-shoulder with Tommy Hilfiger and Stella McCartney.

Sarah, who is as gorgeous in a sweater and jeans and no makeup as she is in full-page ads, was thrilled I had half a meatball sub up for grabs during the interview. (There goes that stereotype of starving models ... although Sarah did note that the skinnier you are, the more work you get.)

“The modeling world has changed a lot,” Sarah told me between bites. “It used to be, if you were skinny and tall you were all set. But now there is a focus on individualism and diversity and what you bring to the table that no one else has.”

Tracy added that she has heard each casting person is looking for a different look every season, and she has been told Sarah is “a blank canvas.”

“Which is a compliment because they can take her look many different ways,” Tracy said. “They also want somebody easy to work with.”

Both mom and daughter have heard horror stories from managers to makeup artists about the difficult divas and stage moms. Tracy and Sarah are happy to say they’ve been told they are an exception.

“Lisa, Sarah’s agent, sent us an email that we were the best mother-daughter team of Fashion Week last fall,” Sarah said. “A lot of that is my background in hospitality, maintaining your cool, staying out of the way backstage, and getting backstage if I need to. I always make it a point to thank the designer for casting Sarah, and I think they really appreciate that.”

With a 15-year-old daughter who was tall, thin, and beautiful, Tracy accepted, and then embraced, the idea of her daughter wanting to be a professional model. She did some networking among Rochester friends to learn more and

Sarah Armstrong is represented by international agency IMG and has modeled for some of the world’s biggest designers.

PROVIDED PHOTOS

arranged for Sarah to have professional photographs taken.

But then social media connected the dots for Sarah, who tagged IMG on one of her photos. She tagged IMG at 11 p.m. and by morning had a direct message from the agency when she turned on her phone. When the rep on the other end of the Instagram message found out she was only 15, she asked if she could speak with her mother.

Soon, a trip to New York was planned and there was no turning back.

“IMG said they wanted her to be a regular 15-year-old, to do well in school, and to go to college if that’s what she wanted to do,” Tracy said. “But they were very honest that her career would move more slowly because we don’t live in NYC and she’s still in high school. They allowed us to take this at our own pace.”

But now the speed on the runway treadmill has been turned up, with Sarah moving to New York this summer.

“The reality is, with modeling you are done by 30, if you’re not Cindy Crawford or Kate Moss,” Sarah said. “If I waited until after college, till I was 23, that would be too late to get my face out

there.”

So, this high school honor student is putting college on hold … and, um, what did her dad say about that?

“Jim is a traditionalist and this whole thing kind of took him by surprise,” Tracy said.

“Like, he has a flip phone,” Sarah added.

“For him, school comes first,” Tracy explained. “So I knew when I was going to present this, the first concern was education and college and secondly he didn’t want all these people looking at his daughter.”

But Tracy, who has been supporting and living Sarah’s dream now for more than two years, made dad see the benefits of jumping in now with both feet (in six-inch stilettos).

Sarah has already been making it all work — lugging school books across Europe to keep up with her studies, and giving much credit to her teachers and guidance counselor for their support.

Despite missing weeks at a time for school, Sarah is finishing her senior year see MODEL on page 6 She Rocs

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How to get started in modeling When Elizabeth Berl is asked by fellow moms how to get their kids involved with modeling, she recommends Mary Therese Friel LLC. This full-service modeling agency offers a complete training program.

Friel is a former Miss USA and Ford model who is celebrating her 30th anniversary in business. She started her modeling career at age 11 for Eastman Kodak Co. and has been on the covers of Good Housekeeping and Italian Vogue, as well as runways worldwide.

Her studio is based in Mendon, just south of Pittsford, and provides professional training in Noelle Nafus, who modeling, acting, studied modeling with pageantry and selfMary Therese Friel development.

LLC, on the runway at The training is Lord & Taylor. conducted by Friel PHOTO BY JERRY D. BROWN and her husband, Kent Friel, who work with women, men, teens, and children. A respectable program, they do not accept work for swimwear or lingerie.

The program has a well-rounded approach to building self-confidence and consists of 10 one-hour sessions over six months. The studio is also offering a week-long Modeling Camp this summer, July 17-21 from 9:30 a.m. to noon each day. It is open to girls ages nine to 19 and will cover runway and print modeling, etiquette and manners, self-presentation and speaking, acting, fashion pageantry, and nutrition and exercise.

Mary Chao of Brighton enrolled her daughter Noelle Nafus in Mary Therese’s camp three years ago. They had a deal — if Noelle would also go to robotics camp, Mom would agree to modeling camp. They both won.

“It’s a solid program,” Chao said. “She learned how to walk a runway but also etiquette and confidence.”

Seventeen-year-old Noelle has taken additional classes with Mary Therese and has modeled on runways at Rochester’s Fashion Week, Lord & Taylor at Eastview Mall, and several charity events.

“The thing we love most about what we do is giving young people the poise and confidence to do what they love to do most,” Mary Therese Friel said.

Learn more about Mary Therese Friel LLC at mtfmodels.com or July/August 2017 RocParent.com 6585-624-5510.

MODEL, from page 5

with a 94 percent average.

When in the modeling-gig trenches, Tracy helps Sarah by prioritizing shows and auditions, and even rubbing her feet and back, after miles of walking and hours of standing in heels at auditions.

“You know how when you’re a teenager you hide everything from your parents?”

Sarah asked. “Yep, that was shot out the door the first time we stayed in a small hotel room. Through all this, we’ve become better friends.”

That makes Tracy happy, as does all the experience Sarah is getting from the traveling and the casting auditions.

“Sarah has come into her own,” she said. “When she walks into a casting room, she has to make enough of an impression to get called back.”

Sarah’s post-high school whirlwind will begin this September with Fashion Week in New York, followed by fashion weeks in London, Los Angeles, Milan, Paris, and Sydney — the latter is where she’ll stay for a couple of months to “develop my book.”

Last fall during New York Fashion Week, she was barraged by paparazzi and met Liam Neesen and Bono. But behind the glam is a lot of hard work.

“I thought it was going to be all easy, so easy,” Sarah admitted. “It’s so hard, I almost quit once. But it’s addicting. You’re so tired at the end of one week that you just want to go home and crawl up into a ball. But then you get that show and you’re on that runway and you say, ‘That’s why I do this!’”

Elizabeth and Madeline

When five-year-old Madeline, sans front teeth, performed a song from High School Musical in her living room, wearing a bikini and armed with props, mom Elizabeth Berl realized her daughter’s talent and passion.

“I said to myself, ‘I’ve got to get someone to look at her,’’’ Elizabeth said.

That year they headed to an agent-scouting event in Toronto and Madeline played Little Red Riding Hood in a local play It seemed the stage was set, but young Madeline waited in the wings for a bit — continuing her dance training and living-room shows — since the family realized five was a bit too young to dive into the industry. But at age 10, a scouting event in Orlando proved to be the right place and time.

“Lo and behold, we met the agent she still has today,” Elizabeth said, referring to Take 3 Talent in New York City, which Madeline has been signed with for six years. “I remember calling my husband and saying this is legit, there are ‘real’ people here.”

Working with her agent, Madeline has been to more than 50 commercial auditions and her modeling work has landed in Billboard magazine and a Target catalog.

Madeline Berl has walked runways for six seasons of Fashion Week in NYC. PHOTO BY MARK GUNTER

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She also has done six seasons of Fashion Week in New York.

At age 15 she was direct-booked to walk the adult runway at Madison Square Garden and also took part in the teen shows.

“While I was there two other designers pulled me and said, ‘I like your face! You’re gonna walk for me,’ ” Madeline said. This fall she’ll be walking at fashion weeks in New York and Los Angeles.

But while she loves the runway and the photo sessions, Madeline said she is “not hardcore about modeling.”

“I’m more of a commercial model because I’m not six-feet-tall, and also I’m a musical theater person who models,” said Madeline, who plans to major in musical theater when in college in 2019, with a minor in communications.

Devoting six years of their lives to Madeline’s performing career has, of course, taken time, energy, and money.

“I tell my husband it’s not getting the job and making the money that matters, but it’s the life experiences she gets, the lessons she learns, and connections she makes,” said Elizabeth, who studied fashion merchandising in college. “It’s helped create her as an old soul. She is able to have a conversation with an adult from a professional standpoint. These are life skills she has learned.”

Madeline Berl enjoys the dramatics of modeling and is now The second biggest benefit of Madeline’s career, she said, is how shifting her focus to musical theater and college prep. She close they are as mother and daughter. said her “momager” Elizabeth is her best friend. PHOTO BY RLS “Selfishly, the quality time we have together is like none other,” PHOTOGRAPHY Elizabeth said. “We’re in the car for hours, we’re in a hotel room.

The relationship we have is so close because we have spent so much time together, and I don’t know if I’d have that if we didn’t have these trips. I get excited when she has a job because we’re going to spend a couple days together.”

“You’re my best friend,” Madeline said during the interview to her mother, whom she also calls her “momager.” Elizabeth handles the bookings and travel plans and also her daughter’s Facebook page.

Since they work her career remotely from Rochester, the duo makes the most of their trips to New York when Madeline has auditions, such as also meeting with a voice coach or a mentor (one of whom is actress Annie Golden of Orange Is the New Black).

Now that she’s in high school, Madeline cannot miss school as often and the focus is now more on school and performing. This summer Madeline will attend the Performing Arts Project at Wake Forest University in North Carolina to work on her acting craft.

In Rochester she just completed a lead role tapping and singing in 42nd Street at Kodak Center for Performing Arts, and a film she appeared in was recently released — Fair Haven, starring Tom Wopat and Gregory Harrison.

“None of this would be happening without my parents,” Madeline said. “My mom and dad have taught me to appreciate life and to give back. And starting in this business so young has helped me grow immensely.”

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KEEP CALM and CALL

Dr. Meami

Share your authentic self — it’s the ultimate hostess gift Dear Dr. Meami: My college roommate has invited my family to a visit at her fabulous Cape Cod beach house this summer.

I’m thrilled but also worried about being the perfect guest — especially with my three very active young kids in tow.

Plus, she seems to have it all with her doctor husband, her own career as an attorney, a live-in nanny, and a smokin’ hot bod (since she works out with a personal trainer at her country club three times a week).

I’m happy for her, but I still have baby weight to lose from my firstgrader, and I work as a stay-at-home mom who scrubs her own toilets. She’s flying to France with the hubby while my big trip is to Wegmans for a gallon of milk and a new pack of Swiffer pads.

Get the picture? Help!

— Intimidated Isabel Dear Izzy in a Tizzy: Remember the George Gershwin song “Summertime,” where the livin’ is easy, daddy’s rich, and your mama’s good looking?

Well, I am going to rewrite the last line of that classic tune just for you, and for anyone reading this who feels they are “below” anyone for any reason.

Here goes: “So rise up former roommate, and don’t you cry!”

Why? It’s simple! The fact is that you know absolutely nothing about her REAL life behind closed doors. For all you know, her handsome hubby looks at their Swedish au pair more like she’s a new pair (if you know what I mean).

And maybe all the pressure she feels to show off a glamorous life on the outside has robbed her of true happiness on the inside.

Sometimes in life you discover that less is more, in that simplicity is priceless for the freedom it gives you to enjoy little moments of joy all day long.

You can choose to savor things like on an ordinary Monday morning pushing your kid as high as she can go on a swing, much to her delight, at the playground. Or, enjoying magic moments having a picnic, while you savor not feeling weighed down by managing that big home — something your friend might pay the price for with her life itself.

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Often “having it all” comes with a frantic work schedule just to afford it all, not to mention endless social obligations she must attend “to see and be seen,” while she secretly teeters at the top of the ladder she’s climbing.

My advice to you, and to anyone reading this who is visiting friends or family, boils down to one thing: Give them the best hostess gift of all by giving them YOU! Give them the most precious gift of your time, and speak from your heart about the truth of your own life, including the successes and the struggles.

What comes from the heart goes to the heart, so just by sharing your authentic self with your friend, she might feel safe enough to reveal her real self to you, too. As you laugh together, and maybe even cry together, incredible bonds of lifelong loving friendship will surface and be sustained.

Don’t forget that she invited you because she likes to spend time with you. How about you show up at her door with an open heart to go right along with some homemade muffins in a pretty tin? Or some freshly picked flowers, which will mean so much more to her than some fancy cut crystal vase from Neiman Markups.

And enjoy every minute, kids and all.

When the kids are away ... the adults can Frolicking and fun in the Finger Lakes

By SUE HENNINGER

Rochester is perfectly situated atop the Finger Lakes region to offer many relaxing and rejuvenating getaways, for romantic fun, a girls’ trip away, or some mom-and-dad respite time.

Canandaigua Canandaigua, the closest Finger Lakes community to Rochester, is the perfect spot to reconnect if you only have one free night.

Revisit your younger days by taking in a concert at CMAC. One of upstate’s premier outdoor concert venues, CMAC has both lawn seating (bring chairs or a blanket) and

reserved seating under the shell.

This summer’s lineup of stars includes Tom Petty, John Mellencamp, Sam Hunt, Idina Menzel, the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra, Rod Stewart with Cyndi Lauper, The Who, Hans Zimmer, Jethro Tull, Santana, and The Avett Brothers.

Looking for a meal more upscale than concert concessions? Grab a pre-concert bite to eat at the New York Wine and Culinary Center’s Upstairs Bistro. With indoor and outdoor seating, you can enjoy drinks for two or with friends. The Bistro serves only New York State wines, beers, and spirits — complemented by meals highlighting farm-to-table ingredients — so you can feel virtuous about supporting

the New York economy as you dine.

Prefer craft beer over wine? Try Naked Dove Brewery on Routes 5 and 20. The owners are passionate about the beer they make, and it shows. Taste any of the four year-round beers or the two or three seasonal ones, which include IPA, Porter, German, and fruit beers. When you’re done sampling, Naked Dove beers are also available to take home in growlers.

If you want to bet on a fun night out, the Finger Lakes Gaming and Racetrack’s video-gaming machines and live thoroughbred racing are just a quick stop off Route 96 in Farmington. see PLAY on page 10

CMAC concerts this summer include the RPO on Saturday, July 22. PHOTO BY ERICH CAMPING She Rocs

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PLAY, from page 9

Hammondsport

This lively town at the base of Keuka Lake was voted “The Coolest Small Town in America” by Budget Travel and is a favorite summer destination.

A perfect day would include a stop for lunch or dinner at our latest discovery — Timber Stone Grill, conveniently located in the center of town. The décor of wood, metal, and artifacts is as welcoming as the wait staff, who are friendly, attentive, and knowledgeable.

The menu features wine selections from Keuka and Seneca lakes, and the food is fresh, delicious, and attractively presented, for carnivores and vegetarians alike.

The restaurant is popular so reservations are highly recommended in July and August.

Hammondsport has a rich history. The Glenn H. Curtis Museum celebrates the life and inventions of its hometown aviator, who got his start in bicycles, moved on to motorcycles, and then advanced to aircraft. The imagination, mechanical ability, and impressive work ethic of “The Father of Naval Aviation” is proudly displayed and well worth a visit.

If boats are more your thing, check out

Skaneateles

You may not be able to pronounce the name, but you definitely won’t want to miss the chance to plan a romantic getaway to this quaint village, situated at the end of one of the most gorgeous lakes in the area.

Begin your staycation by booking a room at Mirbeau Inn & Spa, a lovely oasis that prides itself on “taking relaxation seriously.” Mirbeau has a colorful European vibe (think Monet and the French countryside), with charmingly landscaped grounds.

The inn offers a number of fantastic ways to be pampered, including The Romance Package with a 50-minute “It Takes Two” couples massage. If that’s 10

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The beautiful home of the Finger Lakes Boat Museum is the former Taylor Winery in Hammondsport. PROVIDED PHOTO

the Finger Lakes Boat Museum. The Finger Lakes have been used recreationally by boaters for centuries, and it’s fascinating to learn more about who and what local companies built the boats many enjoy.

You’re guaranteed to leave the museum having learned something new, like a way to remember the names of the 11 lakes that make up the Finger Lakes region.

Both the Curtiss and boat museums

have restoration areas where visitors can watch volunteers hard at work on various objects.

If you’re looking for unique or quirky furniture and accessories made from wine barrels, The Wine Barrel is definitely worth a stop. If you’d rather drink local wines and beers, try the Pleasant Valley Wine Company or the Brewery of Broken Dreams, both adjacent to the Finger Lakes Boat Museum.

not enough to tempt you, there are instructional cooking, yoga, and fitness classes, along with an outdoor Aqua Terrace featuring a waterfall and hot spa pool.

After a long winter of taking care of everyone else, the award-winning spa is a welcome treat for any busy parent.

If you want to experience Skaneateles Lake and some of the area’s history at the same time, hop aboard one of Mid-Lakes Navigation’s boats.

My favorite is the U.S. Mailboat (a three-hour tour) where daily mail is delivered to the more rustic dwellers at the end of the breathtakingly beautiful lake. The captain and crew are eager to share funny stories about nautical mail delivery and the lake’s residents. It’s highly entertaining to watch people come down to retrieve their mail, including the kids at the local summer camp.

Skaneateles boasts only one winery but it’s an excellent one — Anyela’s Vineyards, which will be hosting several performances in the new Robinson Pavilion during world-class Skaneateles Festival in August, making it well worth the trip.

Boating adventures on the Finger Lakes include rentals and dinner cruises, including those run by Mid-Lakes Navigation on Skaneateles Lake. Below pictured is Mirbeau Spa in Skaneateles, which offers many levels of pampering and relaxation.

PROVIDED PHOTOS

SheRocs Rocs She

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N E R LAU vs.

R E C CAN online Thousands of orelle M r e e h c s r e follow ment t a e r t h g u o r h t ood and motherh

By LINDA QUINLAN

Wearing a “superwoman” t-shirt, jeans, a sweatshirt, and a trendy short haircut, Lauren Morelle displays the freshness and beauty of a 31-year-old young mother.

She’s funny, insightful, and full of life.

She’s also a warrior.

“I’m a fighter,” Lauren said simply.

She is a fighter … in the fight of her life.

Six months after having her son, Jonas, in 2015, she noticed a large lump while breastfeeding that wasn’t going away.

She had learned lumps are “usually

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nothing” while breastfeeding, so she waited from November until January to have it looked at during her annual checkup. Her doctor initially thought it might be a clogged duct, but suggested an ultrasound.

“I’ll never forget, my doctor, who’s a nice Irishman,” she said, with an assumed Irish accent, “coming back and saying, ‘Well now, let’s just do a biopsy.’ ” Lauren said her attitude was, “I’ve got to get this over with.” She remembers “yucking it up” with her doctors, who took a couple of samples.

Then the call came at work the next

day, after she dropped off her kids.

Three words: “It is cancer.”

“I huddled on my office wheelie chair and thought, ‘OK, I need to talk to HR’,” she recalled.

An incredibleness that is Lauren A friend drove her home from work and she told her husband, Nate Stone, and then the rest of her family. She remembers a lot of crying among her loved ones.

“But I was not able to cry; somebody has to be strong, I feel,” Lauren said.

Her sense of humor also kicked in, which she said runs in her family.

The oldest of three children, she is the daughter of state Assemblyman and Majority Leader Joe Morelle, D-Irondequoit, and his wife, Mary Beth.

“Being around a big Italian family, you have to be loud and funny all the time to get yourself heard,” she quipped.

“She always says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times,” said her younger brother, Monroe County Legislator Joseph Morelle Jr., laughing.

“But that’s how she gets through it.”

Lauren’s husband, Nate, agreed. “She’s never had a filter,” he said. “It’s one of the many things to love about her.”

Lauren graduated from Eastridge High School in 2004 and finished her degree in communications at SUNY College at Geneseo in three and a half years (because she hated being away from home).

She met Nate, originally from Greece, when they worked together at Seabreeze Amusement Park during her second year of college.

“There’s an incredibleness that is Lauren,” Nate said, recalling the first time he met her at Seabreeze. “It was time to close and she was organizing the workers to do the cha-cha slide!”

“She’s just full of life and energy,” he said, “and so loving, and compassionate, but also strong and assertive.”

They were married in 2011 and had their first child, Arabella, in 2013.

Lauren most recently worked for the YMCA of Greater Rochester communications department, where she marketed camps and after-school programs.

“I was really happy there ... and I rode a horse,” Lauren said. “My definition of ‘I’ve made it’.”

She has been out of work for the past Lauren Morrelle’s priorities are her family and ensuring laughter stays in her world every day. PROVIDED PHOTOS

year as she battles an aggressive form of breast cancer.

She has nothing but praise for her doctors, Dr. Alissa Huston and Dr. Rachel Farkas, who are part of the Wilmot Cancer Center at UR Medical Center.

Lauren already has been through four rounds of chemotherapy — all the while parenting her two young children.

“She’s an incredible mom,” brother Joseph said. “And her children are bubbly and goofy — her personality.”

Lauren credits the support of her husband and family for helping her every day. “After some of the medicines, I just wanted to sit in a fetal position,” she said.

“When you’re sick like that, you really have to find your village.”

Yet, “As a mother and woman, you never turn off that part of your brain that wants to take care of others,” she said. “It got so I couldn’t sleep if I heard them (her children).”

The family now sits together every Sunday morning to plan where the children will be and what her family will do for meals, keeping track on a Google calendar.

“We’re a pretty good machine now,” Lauren said, noting that her mother, Mary Beth, and mother-in-law, Cheryl Stone, share the bulk of the responsibilities.

Of course, worry comes with the territory.

“In some ways, we all have cancer,” Joseph Jr. commented quietly.

The thing is, that she has stage-four metastatic breast cancer doesn’t scare her anymore. “I feel bad for cancer,” she said.

“What happened in there that made you go all crazy?”

Chemo-cations and a hairstyle of choice Lauren is currently on chemotherapy again and taking another experimental see LAUREN on page 14

Lauren vs.

Cancer

on Facebook (and in real life) Lauren started a blog on Facebook soon after she was diagnosed, which she calls Lauren vs. Cancer.

“I did it because everything in my family is like a bad day of telephone,” she said, referring to the game where you whisper a message and it is passed from person to person and at the end is often something completely different than the original message.

“People would think I was dying by the time it got to Utica, where my father’s family is from,” she said. “Plus, when your father knows a lot of people, nothing stays private for very long.”

Lauren had 400 followers on her site when 13WHAM’s digital reporter Matt Molloy did a story on Feb. 15, 2016. The title of the piece was, “Local woman shares cancer fight on Facebook.”

“And I thought, ‘Oh my God, I’ve arrived. I’m a ‘local woman’!’” she said.

Lauren now has more than 2,600 followers, and the count keeps climbing. Husband Nate said he is surprised when he looks at the analytics.

“We’ve been amazed that some posts have reached 12,000 to 15,000 people,” he said. “It’s a great way to realize you’re not alone.”

Lauren hopes her children will read the blog someday.

“I’m such a ham,” she said. “I’ve sworn. I’m bawdy. But me being goofy hopefully has connected with people. I hope to inspire people. I just want my life to mean something.”

She combines words — often so funny they bring tears to your eyes — with often-hilarious pictures and videos, most of which poke fun at herself.

Lauren suspects not everyone appreciates her brand of humor. “But people do like to laugh at inappropriate things. … It’s a service I provide!” see FACEBOOK on Page 14 She She RocsRocs July/August July/August 20172017 13 13

LAUREN, from page 13

drug. “Thankfully, a lot of other things are on the table too,” she said.

Nate accompanies her to all chemo appointments, which he and Lauren call “chemo-cations.”

“There’s always some type of positive,” Nate said.

Lauren’s cancer started at stage 2B, and she had her first round of chemo and rang the bell (when it was over). The double mastectomy was in June 2016.

“I think my daughter only remembers me as bald, so that’s a nice thing, and she doesn’t equate that with being sick,” Lauren said. “It’s more like a personal hairstyle choice.”

As for that time-honored parental advice — to get your children on a routine — “Well, we don’t get that in our house,” Lauren said, “but having a mom with a bald head and lot of people around is very normal to them.”

She admits that as a parent, she has to use what she calls the “cancer card” sparingly.

“But I do get out of doing the dishes when I don’t want to,” she laughed.

Even as positive as she is, however, there are days when she’s less than cheerful.

“I give myself three to four times a year … I call it the quarterly cry,” Lauren said.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help,” she said reflectively.

“You can’t turn your ‘mom’ switch off. But you also can’t refill their glasses when your pitcher is empty.”

Joseph Jr. said she always puts her children first. “They are the reason she fights,” he said. “They need their mom.”

“I know cancer is not a great thing, but I think it did change my life for the better,” Lauren said. “I love more freely, and I don’t care about the things that aren’t important anymore. And I say ‘I love you’ far more now.”

FACEBOOK, from page 13

(to) make everything better?”

You have to laugh at cancer, she said. She doesn’t mind people both laughing at her and with her.

“If you don’t laugh, you will cry your eyes out,” she said.

One place where she laughs is Pluta Cancer Center, where she’s been treated for the last year and a half and where she knows the staff. “You should come with me to chemo and see how it is. … It’s kind of funny.”

Her husband occasionally steps in with an online report as well. After a several-day absence in mid-March, Nate wrote, “Though it’s not as good of an update as one from her (and I’m sure she will give her take in the morning), I didn’t want the radio silence to worry anyone.”

“Looking back, I believe I have only been to the ER twice before. One time was when I sliced my finger open cutting a bagel at 19; and the other time was just a few years ago when I had food poisoning. Unfortunately, I can add another trip to the ER to the mix. This time, it was because of my cancer. …

Thanks a lot, cancer.”

Here are some Lauren-isms from Lauren vs. Cancer: “Show of hands — who here, when dealing with bad or scary news, reverts to a five-year-old and wants to run to their parents

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“I’ve joked for a few weeks that the tumors must be sitting on the bitchy part of my brain.

Translation: I haven’t been particularly nice to anyone lately.”

“I have good news, and I have bad news. Let’s rip the BandAid off quickly, shall we? The cancer has spread to my brain.”

“What do you do the night before surgery? Lay out your not-over-the-head-clothes, kiss your babies, curse the surgery scheduler that gave you a 6:15 a.m. report time, and gather strength from a pint-sized beauty who was strong, fearless, and so loved.”

RocParent.com

Finding genuine happiness 3 powerful truths to help you live with victorious freedom What I know for sure is … life is meant to be enjoyed and not just endured.

Whether you’re a busy stay-at-home mom or an overstretched executive in corporate America, you deserve to live a fulfilling life being genuinely happy.

Most days when we leave our homes, we grab the essentials we may need for the day, like our keys, cell phones, and our purses/wallets.

We also grab the masks we need to fulfill the different roles we must play throughout the day — maybe it’s the parent mask, the employee mask, or the customer mask.

Unfortunately, our authentic self is hidden beneath these masks. That self can become weary and tired, causing us to wrestle internally in silent frustration. No one can fully sense our struggle because of the smile we paint on. I’ve learned that some of the most broken people wear the biggest smiles. Our authentic self yearns to be genuinely happy.

Here are three powerful truths that help women live their lives with victorious freedom, which I shared at the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference in April.

what we don’t have, so be sure you put yourself first. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority. And it is necessary.

Happiness comes from freeing yourself from your own mind

You are the only one who knows what will truly make you happy. Often, our genuine happiness can be released by simply changing the conversation in our head.

Stop beating yourself up with negative self-talk about what you don’t look like, what sizes you don’t wear, and what you may not be able to afford right now.

Create and recite positive affirmations daily that inspire you to create a life you truly love.

For example, instead of saying, “I don’t

have the experience” or “I’m not good enough,” you could say “Before I stand in my greatness, I must stop standing in my way.” Be your own rescuer and motivator.

Old habits don’t produce new results

If you want something new in life, you must be willing to try something new.

Identify and recognize the habits that have kept you stuck in a rut, and then replace them with new ones. Bottom line: You have to disrupt something to create something new.

And then celebrate your accomplishment by doing something that makes you happy. Micro wins lead to macro wins in life and business. When in doubt, faith it until you make it.

You can love others only when you truly love you

It’s so easy to put our families, careers, and other obligations before our own needs. We teach others how to love us by how we love and honor ourselves.

Your environment shapes your mindset, so find a space in your home or neighborhood to retreat, regroup, and reignite your self-love. We can’t give

Veldra Simmons-Crenshaw, right, celebrates new-found victorious freedom while breaking a board with Dante Worth at the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference. PROVIDED PHOTO She Rocs

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Deborah Hughes and Suffragist City If you go

July/August 2017

By DRESDEN ENGLE

“Susan B. Anthony has gotten quoted this year, gosh darn it, as much as Jesus,” said Deborah Hughes, a former pastor who is marking her 10th anniversary as director of the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House.

And these oft-cited quotes from the most famous suffragist of all time are being viewed through a 2017 filter, reinterpreted and often taken out of context 150 years after her words were delivered.

Hughes, along with the country, has witnessed in recent months national headlines that claim Anthony — who fought hard against slavery alongside Frederick Douglass — was racist; many are interpreting her words to say she was pro-life.

But at the National Historic Landmark home and museum in Rochester, Anthony is celebrated for working tirelessly to bring less suffering and equal rights to all.

As a woman clinched a major party nomination for U.S. president for the first time last fall, Anthony’s home and grave were the focus of vigils and “Because of Women Like Her” campaigns, garnering international news attention. Thousands waited in line at Mount Hope Cemetery to place their “I Voted” stickers on or near her tombstone.

“She was more relevant on November 9 than on November 8, that is for sure,” Hughes said.

Quoting Susan B. “Her voice is so powerful,” she noted. “It is great to be to be connected to a historical person who is quoted as often as she is, although she is often misquoted.”

With her first-hand research in the shadow of Anthony herself on Madison Avenue, Hughes can say Anthony never advocated for the criminalization of abortion.

“The pro-life movement is a contemporary movement with a different agenda than Susan B. Anthony had in her time,” Hughes said.

And in regard to racism, Hughes said Anthony acknowledged her own white privilege and did not allow people to claim ignorance to the plight of slavery.

Anthony said, “Anti-slavery prayers are nothing without action.” While radical at the time, Hughes said, Anthony told large groups at multiple speaking engagements that “you do not get off the hook from your white privilege until we disassemble racism in this country.”

Yet, with so much historical documentation about Anthony’s

Location: 17 Madison St., Rochester Admission: $15 adults; $10 seniors (62+) and active military; $5 students.

Hours: TuesdaySunday, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Accessibility: The museum’s Visitors Center and first floor of the historic house are wheelchair accessible.

The second and third floors of the house are reachable via stairs. By arrangement, interpretation can be provided for those who cannot climb the stairs.

Learn more: susanbanthony house.org or 585-235-6124 16

She works to interpret Susan B. Anthony through a 2017 lens, as she marks 10 years as director of the National Historic Landmark

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vigilant work against slavery and for equal rights, an L.A. Times article this past winter questioned if she was racist.“I don’t believe she would want us to say she was a racist,” Hughes aid. “I think she would ask, ‘What are we going to do about this social ill that is racism?’”

“Did Susan B. Anthony regularly have guests at her home who were of color? Yes,” Hughes said. “Did she travel with black women across the United States and fight for abolition? Yes. Did she go to all-white events and cross the street to go to a black church event and cross the line to fight segregation every place she went? Yes. Did she fight for human rights and education for all people regardless of gender and race and national origin? Yes!”

Visiting Susan B. Anthony’s House

Summer in Suffragist City While David Bowie’s 1973 hit song “Suffragette City” has a catchy tune and memorable title, a July 22 parade and celebration in Anthony’s adopted hometown of Rochester is titled the Suffragist City Parade.

Anthony fought for the plight of all and called herself a suffragist. The Oxford Dictionary defines suffragist as “a person advocating the extension of suffrage.”

In fact, the term suffragette was created as a derogatory term by a British newspaper writer in the late 1800s, referencing the women fighting for their rights as militant and radical activists. “It is historically accurate and what Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass preferred,” Hughes said. “They thought suffragette was diminutive.”

The parade will start at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, July 22, and run from Court Street to Main Street, via Exchange Boulevard and Broad Street, in downtown Rochester. More than 50 organizations are taking part and more groups are invited to join in, with registration open through July 8.

The inaugural Suffragist City Parade — carrying the theme in 2017 of “Because of Women Like Her …” — will commemorate and celebrate the centennial of women’s suffrage in New York state.

The parade promotes the history of women’s suffrage and its relevance today; and celebrates women who have made a difference in our lives — sharing their images, names, and accomplishments.

Taking part in the Suffragist City Parade won’t be the first time Hughes has marched proudly this year. In January she joined the Women’s March in D.C., alongside her wife, Emily Jones — representing herself and her own beliefs, however, as the museum must remain non-partisan as a non-profit institution.

“Susan B. Anthony said she dreamed of the day when there would be masculine women and feminine men and we’d approach our differences with compromise rather than swords and

Deb Hughes, director of the The National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House shows off a quilt block that is part of the collaborative 2020 Quilt Project, which is gathering uniquely designed quilt blocks that relate to women’s suffrage and empowerment, all to be publicly displayed. Learn more at susanbanthonyhouse.org/2020quiltproject.

weapons,” Hughes said. “Today’s politicians can learn so much from her.”

VoteTilla on the canal In addition to celebrating her 10th anniversary on Aug. 1, this year marks the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage in New York state and the bicentennial of the Erie Canal. Hughes and the staff and volunteers of the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House have created a weeklong celebration called VoteTilla, to take place along the Erie See the full VoteTilla Canal from July schedule on Page 52 17-22. in Roc Parent.

With a core of five canal boats, VoteTilla will set out from the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls and travel to Rochester. Aboard the boats will be re-enactors who will tell stories of suffragists and abolitionists, in first-person character using actual historic oration. Anthony and her closest cohort, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, are among those being portrayed.

VoteTilla boats will dock at several towns and villages along the canal, where local residents and organizations can share in the celebration with programs, side trips, and adding their own boats to the traveling fleet.

The public is invited to take part on land or water. At each stop there will be voting boxes so attendees can make their own personal commitment to ending suffrage.

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More people visited the house and museum in the first three months of 2017 than in all of 2016.

And the numbers will likely continue to increase. Susan B. Anthony is more popular than ever following the fall election, this year’s state celebrations, and the upcoming national centennial in 2020 for women’s right to vote.

Since only 35 people can be in the modest historic house at one time, group-tour bookings are limited. While buses full of students or tourists can be accommodated, the groups have to take tours in shifts.

Yet, more than 10,000 visitors are served each year, including more than 1,000 Girl Scouts and hundreds of second-graders who experience the museum through virtual tours sponsored by ESL Federal Credit Union.

So, what do the secondgraders make of the partnersin-suffrage Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass?

“Most of them think they were married,” Hughes said, with a smile.

The National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House was the home of the legendary American civil rights leader during the 40 most politically active years of her life. It also is where she was arrested for voting in 1872 and where she and fellow abolitionist Douglass would meet to discuss efforts to end human suffrage.

Anthony’s home was the headquarters of the National American Woman Suffrage Association when she was its president. It is also where she died in 1906 at age 86, after her “Failure Is Impossible” speech.

Smithsonian magazine named the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House one of the eight best sites in the country to visit to learn about women. It is one of only two National Historic Landmarks in Rochester (the other is George Eastman Museum), a title held by fewer than three percent of all U.S. historic sites.

She Rocs July/August 2017 17

She Rocs magazine is collaborating with Writers & Books to share a short story or essay in every issue, written by students or instructors. Writers & Books is a nonprofit literary center based in Rochester that fosters and promotes reading and writing as lifelong activities. The programs are numerous and varied, reaching more than 25,000 people per year. Learn more at wab.org.

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RocParent.com RocParent.com

Non-Ficton caps, 25 smiley faces, and 19 While my daughter’s next text arrives exclamation points will say, “HI with twice the usual amount of hearts MOMJJJJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and smiley faces, my mom’s texts The first text I received from my mom grow longer, with better spelling and arrives three days after the birthday decreased punctuation. STILL ALL It began with the birthday dinners. dinner. In all caps, and reads: CAPS. These were implemented by my SHPSHKOC At the next birthday gathering, which sisters, my mother, and me as a way to I text back, “Hi Mom, Welcome to now includes everybody, my mother end the annual tradition of giving each texting.” declared that nobody answers her texts. other candles and luxury socks and Twenty minutes later the next one “Well, you don’t,” she said. instead celebrate each other’s birthdays arrived.

She cited evidence until my younger — by sharing good food and wine.

BUTNSSMALL Birthday girl gets treated and no FINGRS BIG candles or gift cards are exchanged.

I text back, “Fat This tradition lasts a few years. And “I think all the kids are texting fingers.” at the end of each meal at least one these days. They don’t answer Twenty minutes person is sauced, at least one person later, her response has cried (just a little bit), and at least the phone. But they text.” arrived. four memories that were bedrock to NOTNICE one’s construction of self were Within four weeks challenged, or dismantled altogether. her skills improved. One day I looked sister asks for my mom’s phone.

Your rosy glow of a recollection at my phone and saw a message the She flips it open. erased by someone else’s simple length of a dissertation.

She goes through the texts and statement, “That never happened.”

I immediately recalled an intervention reads one my mom has written to our Other unspoken rules unfolded, such that both my sisters gently provided brother: as “Don’t challenge the birthday girl.” after I joined the world of texting.

HI I MADE HAM JUST TOOK If she says it’s true, you nod and pass “Your texts are pretty long,” my older IT OUT IS SHANNON WORKING the appetizers. It’s her day. sister said. “They’re supposed to be WANT TO COME TOO MUCH We routinely followed this tradition, brief. Yours are email length.”

FOR ME AND DAD THANKS and then one year decided to have “Well, that’s because nobody emails,” FOR SHOVELING DRIVEWAY I a home celebration and invite some I said. “Nobody emails because they’re COULD DROP OFF HAM aunts and uncles. all on The Facebook.”

My mother is nodding at our brother, At this dinner, I was sitting next to “It’s Facebook,” the younger sister “You never answered!” my mom as I heard her say to my aunt/ said, “and you’re right. Nobody emails “OK,” my younger sister continued. her sister, “My kids never call. They because email takes too long. But your “Here’s the reply.” don’t answer the phone and they don’t texts are not supposed to be email return their messages.”

Hello. Thank you for letting me know length.”

I broke the about the ham. Shannon is not here. I do “Fine.” I said, cardinal rule of not know if she is working because I am “Anything else?” agreeing with not married to Shannon. I don’t own a “Don’t write LOL. It’s As though she’d the birthday I don’t eat ham because I am a girl. for 13-year-old girls.” been waiting for shovel. And vegetarian. this question, my “Mom,” I said.

I am not your son, though it is clear that younger sister “Well, you our numbers have great similarity as I added, “Yes. Don’t don’t,” she said to me. still get all the texts that are meant for write LOL. It’s for 13-year-old girls.”

“They don’t,” she said to my aunt. him.

“But I’m really laughing when I write My 78-year-old aunt replied, “Well, I Please. Please. Remove my number. think all the kids are texting these days. that,” I said. “What am I supposed to This is the longest text I have ever text?”

They don’t answer the phone. But they composed because yours are so long and “Write, ‘Ha.’ Or, ‘Ha ha.’” she said text.” thoughtful that I wanted to follow suit as “But nobody laughs ‘Ha ha.’ I don’t “Oh, I don’t do that,” my mom we end this relationship. know one person who says ha ha when said. “That texting.”

Best of luck with your son, thank you they laugh,” I said.

“Well,” her sister said, “they again for the offer of ham.

She shrugs. “You asked.” answer their texts.”

Signed, Not Sean “Ha is what you say when you’re trying I text with my own daughter, to summon a laugh for something My mother is grabbing for the phone, who sometimes writes when that’s not particularly funny,” I go on. my brother is glowing with vindication, she is with a friend or relative “It’s a polite way of acknowledging my sisters are dying laughing, and I, for a sleepover. A number someone’s failed attempt at humor.” too, chuckle. will pop up on my phone, “Too long,” she said, of my speaking.

Ha … or Ha ha. and a message in all She Rocs

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We all scream for ice cream!

Hedonist Artisan Ice Cream

Whether you like your ice cream soft, hard, custard, yogurt, cheap, or fancy, there’s a spot just for you in the Rochester area. In fact, we have so many, you should consider venturing from your usual hangout to try these 9 Yelper recommended places. These Yelp reviews were churned together by Breanna Banford, Yelp’s Rochester community manager.

672 South Ave., Rochester 585-461-2815 | hedonisticecream.com

“For gourmet scoops, Hedonist makes some great ice cream. They have about eight flavors at a given time, their salted caramel being a staple.”

— Nicole M.

The Ginger Lion

Eat Me Ice Cream 1115 E. Main St., Suite 148, Rochester, and various locations 585-455-3071 | eatmeicecream.com

“Their specialty — creating ice cream from a bunch of different ingredients, but having it taste absolutely incredible … Plus, they specialize in vegan and dairy-free ice cream, of which you literally cannot tell the difference.”

— Zack R.

Moonlight Creamery 36 West Ave. Fairport 585-223-0880 | moonlightcreamery.com

“Hidden in the depths of the village of Fairport, Moonlight Creamery is like a reverie whispered into your sweet tooth. ... I had a waffle cone with a scoop of butter beer and a scoop of cookies and cream, which were both creamy and flavorful.”

— David T.

Pittsford Farms Dairy 44 N. Main St., Pittsford 585-586-6610

632 N. Winton Road, Rochester 585-482-3065 LuGia’s kiddie size, black cherry and chocolate almond. YELP PHOTO BY SARA D.

LuGia’s Ice Cream 4719 Lyell Ave., Spencerport, and on wheels 585-352-6795 lugiasicecream.com

“The flavor selection is ginormous, the options for ice cream from sundaes to milkshakes is off the charts, and the location is lovely on a hot summer day. Not to mention you get a huge bang for your buck.”

— Ashley L.

Read’s Ice Cream 3130 East Henrietta Road, Henrietta 585-334-5520 readsicecream.com

“If you’re craving some ice cream on a hot summer day you’re almost guaranteed to walk in and see a mile long line, but don’t let that intimidate you, they get through the line pretty quickly and it’s definitely worth the wait!”

“Great locally owned ice cream shop that uses local ingredients to make such creamy smooth ice cream.

They always have so many flavors to choose from and always willing to give out samples to try.”

— Katelyn S.

— Kelly S.

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Reviews of 9 favorite spots

“The cones are homemade and very tasty. I got a small sundae (the Uncle Moo) and it was massive.… You can tell this is high quality, homemade ice cream and not just your average scoop.”

— Emily H.

What’s ’Ur Scoop 1601 Penfield Road, Penfield | 585-217-1534

“They have a great hard selection of Gifford brand ice cream, sundaes, etc. The small, which is two scoops, is generous … try the caramel caribou and s’mores!”

— Marcus M.

Netsin’s Ice Cream 290 Culver Parkway, East Irondequoit 585-288-8020 | netsinsicecream.com

“This place is one of those hidden treasures in the middle of a neighborhood. … A ton of options to choose from. Perry’s ice cream ... custard and soft serve flavors.”

— Geneva P.

help from

the

Organized Clutterbug ELIZABETH CRONY

Summer Simplicity A relaxing break starts with just a little tidying up

making it simple for kids to do some art projects on rainy or “I’m bored” summer days. And in the fall, your art supplies will be organized and you can see what needs replenishing.

Ahhh, summer. What’s not to love?

School’s out, days are longer, and life is more relaxed. But before you can relax, as well as have fun and create and capture memories, you need to sort, clean up, and get the summer essentials ready.

Gather the kids’ art pieces and schoolwork together and store it all in a bin, three-ring binder, or file folder. Let your child select her favorites from the past year. Moms, you can pick out your favorites, too, but I encourage you to resist the temptation to keep everything. The fewer items kept, the more special each piece becomes.

Be crafty

You may be overwhelmed by all the school supplies, papers, books, and projects that have lived at your child’s school all year. So, calling all kids! Have them sort their supplies and toss the broken crayons and pencils and dried-out markers. By organizing these items now, you’ll have a craft area that is under control,

Art and schoolwork

End-of-school-year tradition

In our house, we pack ALL the uniforms (washed) into black trash bags and put them in the attic. Also, we empty the drawers filled with school clothes and fill them with summer play clothes.

Clean out and clean up

If winter gear is still hanging around, put away items not needed until next year. We wash everything we plan to keep and store in containers, so they’re not cluttering up our entryways in the warm months. Stash cleats, flip-flops, play toys, beach items, sunscreen, hats — all things summer — in baskets or metal buckets. We keep these baskets near the back door, so each girl can grab and go.

Summer décor

Lighten up each room and change home decorations. I put up light, breezy curtains, and roll-up rugs, and set up a cozy area for reading books. The house feels roomier and there is less to dust and clean (and more time to play!). I also make colorful plastic dishes and cups accessible for the “hangry” times or for impromptu picnics in the backyard.

Pack, ready, and roll

Whether heading to the pool, camp, or a road trip, have a designated bag for a quick exit. Our extra-large beach bag holds everything — we can take the entire bag or grab what is needed.

Summer camp backpacks are labeled and filled with extra clothes, water bottle, and supplies. Have a first-aid kit at the ready, plus some plastic baggies to store all the knickknacks that find their way into pockets, car doors, and Mom’s purse.

Vacation memories

Gather shells, rocks, and treasured trinkets from summer excursions and create a memory jar or arrange a collage in a picture frame. While you may have left the beach behind, you can revisit any time of year. These are also perfect for back-to-school show-and-tell.

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BLENDING FOOD FAMILY AND FUN Owner of Salena’s and Nox is enjoying the ride

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RocParent.com

By DAWN KELLOGG

Kelly Metras is a firm believer in choosing a path and following it.

“You make a decision and follow where that path takes you … and where the path takes you after that.”

Her successful career and family life are the result of choices made and paths taken.

Kelly and her husband, Aaron Metras, have owned Salena’s Mexican Restaurant since 2011 and are co-owners of Nox Craft Cocktail Lounge, which opened in 2014. Both eateries are at Village Gate in Rochester.

Earlier this year, they launched an educational experiment and a not-for-profit organization called RYCE (Rochester Youth Culinary Experience), which for two months this past spring trained East High School students in all aspects of the restaurant businesses, with the students serving as the chefs and owners.

Restaurant skills for life

Both Kelly and Aaron are Rochester natives — she’s from Greece and he’s from Irondequoit. They’ve been part of the Salena’s family for 18 years.

While they both had worked at the restaurant’s previous locations, their paths seldom crossed. It took Salena’s expansion to its present Village Gate location for the couple to get to know one other

and for romance to get cookin’.

They continued to work at Salena’s while attending college. Kelly earned her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in special education at St. John Fisher College and for several years was a teacher at Hillside Family of Agencies. Aaron studied business at the University of Buffalo, with a concentration in not-for-profits.

At the time, their work at Salena’s was a way to make money, but it wasn’t their career focus.

“The skill set that you learn working in a restaurant helps you in any career,” Kelly said.

But in 2010, Aaron was offered the job as general manager of Salena’s and the next year they purchased the restaurant.

They were the ideal owners for the popular eatery. They blended Kelly’s behavior-management experience with Aaron’s business background. And they already had worked almost every job in the restaurant and knew the business inside and out. But, most importantly, they knew their clientele, and that has been key to their seven years of success as restaurant owners.

When the opportunity arose to open another food-and-drink establishment next to Salena’s, they asked themselves, “If we could create our own space from scratch, what would we do?”

“Nox is that place,” Kelly said. “It’s the place that we go to hang out when we have a night off.”

Blending food and family

And while nights off are rare, owning her own business does allow her flexibility to attend her children’s events.

Kelly and Aaron are the parents of three children, ages seven, five, and one.

She credits a very supportive and tight network of friends and family for helping her juggle work and family. Her job sometimes has its unsociable hours, but that has its own unique set of benefits.

“There is the evening that I have to be here to work, but then I will have the entire next day and night off with the children,” she said.

Also, family vacations are precious time.

“I make sure that we always have something to look forward to,” Kelly said.

“And when I know we won’t be having a family dinner on an evening, I make sure that we all sit down to breakfast together that morning.”

And if spare time does rear its lovely head, what is her favorite thing to do?

“Nothing.”

Her birthday treat each year is a hotel room, with a big, soft, comfy bed, blackout curtains, “mindless” TV, and room service — just her and Aaron. “It’s 24 hours of nothing,” she said, laughing.

Kelly is passionate about Rochester and really loves her city.

“I want to find innovative ways to make small change to our community,” she added. “Making big changes is for

someone else.”

Those small changes have made some big differences in the lives of those with whom she works and welcomes to her restaurants.

Also, RYCE made a positive change for many teens who were part of the experimental project, which was about giving high school kids the opportunity to learn all aspects of a business and, in some cases, “breaking a cycle,” she said.

Kelly thinks of her restaurants as her children with distinctly different personalities.

“Salena’s is my eldest child,” Kelly said.

“She’s family-orientated, down-to-earth and reasonable. Cozy and intimate Nox is the middle daughter — a bit mysterious, sometimes confusing, but it’s rewarding when you get to know her.”

RYCE, the youngest child, is “still learning how to walk.” Kelly and Aaron are taking the information gleaned from running RYCE to formulate a new model that has education at its heart. The restaurant served Caribbean soul cuisine, backed by Aaron’s and Kelly’s hearts and wallets.

“We appreciate their vision and efforts behind RYCE as well as their beliefs in our East scholars,” said East High Superintendent Dr. Shaun Nelms.

And plans for her next “child”?

“I don’t even try to guess where I am going to be in six months,” she said. “I’m enjoying this ride.”

Kelly and Aaron Metras enjoy making s’mores at their restaurant Nox. She said, “It’s the place that we go to hang out when we have a night off.”

PHOTOS BY RENEE VENISKEY

SheRocs Rocs She

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