Ion Even Like It But I Smoked It

BY MISS OREGON

It was one of those nights, you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones where you just want to take your mind off everything and so you call that one friend or ex who is basically the equivalent of a $10 eighth. You don't really like em and they remind you of a strain called train wreck but shit at least it hit good and you know what to expect. I know when I'm ready to smoke there ain't even no need to talk about stopping at the store to get no rello or swishers. We are not about to roll nothing. This visit is bouta look more like just a couple good bong rips and I'm out. Something quick and convenient like that window pizza spot downtown Portland after the club ends or Taco Bell on a late night. You know that shit gonna fuck yo stomach up but your most likely drunk or high with some serious munchies and gonna eat that shit anyway. So yeah it's whatever, I called him. I mean I thought maybe I'd get some kinda satisfaction or buzz off this cheap ass nigga...sorry I meant to say weed and boy was I wrong.

Ion know why the Fuck I thought some $3 gram from a store with no reviews would work for me. Again, leafly can we please make a dating app? I feel like sometimes we all can get caught up on that feeling of just wanting to get high. And so some of us may settle for what seems safe or even convenient. Usually I am the kind of lady that is accustomed to a higher quality selection when it comes to my weed and men. I like minez to have a quality standard in cleanliness. So clean that you can taste it. I like it to look pretty & to be as green as my money. I want that shit to smell like gas and taste like berries. You know you got good weed when your palms get a lil sweaty, heart speeds up and your body got that slight tingle that lets you know someone took their time training this weed cause it knows what it's doin. Yea well that aint this situation. This that bs cheap oz that you buy even though its all shake. You just tell yourself "so what i'm rollin it up anyway" knowing damn well you deserve better than a shaky situation and you don't really wanna smoke that shit. I mean sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do but with 420 coming up I'll be sure to pre order some FIRE and spoil myself.

5 reasons NOT to buy the bullshit:

1) You're gonna feel cheap

2) It's not gonna taste how you like

3) It's Shaky AF

4) There are seeds inside they didn't warn you about

5) The reviews said it's not good, But you still gonna buy it aren't you?

Why the cheap shit?

Why do we ever buy the cheap shit? I mean like you found that shit on a bargain anyway. You know if you smoke it and get the muchies it's not gonna feed you. Yet night after night and puff after puff you all about that reggie. Out there talking about you got a deal or this that special... Stop thats an oz of shake lets just call it what it is... some BULL Shhhhit but you still fuckin with em.

Don't be a lost nug under the couch. If you have a ratchet dating story to share please send it to my IG for a chance to be featured in this column @Mss_oregon