Creating The Life You Want
Achieve Your Goals + Redesign Your Life
SONIA SINGH Founder Of ALifestyleByDesign.com
Creating The Life You Want: Achieve Your Goals and Redesign Your Life Copyright Š 2013 Sonia Singh All rights reserved. All trademarks referenced are property of their respective owners, are not claimed by the author nor publisher, and are used in the nominative sense. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review in a newspaper, magazine, or electronic publication with proper attribution. This book is not intended as a substitute for health, professional or legal advice from a qualified, appropriate practitioner. The material contained in Creating The Life You Want: Achieve Your Goals and Redesign Your Life is for informational purposes and for the purpose of educating individuals on simple steps they can take to evaluate the circumstances of their life and create a roadmap to creating more positive and satisfying circumstances. Should you have any questions pertaining to your life, mental health or if you require supervision from a healthcare practitioner, please consult with your physician or other licensed healthcare provider. Published by Hat Trick Strategies for A Lifestyle By Design
www.ALifestyleByDesign.com.com
Cover, Illustrations and Book Layout/Design By: Michelle Fitz, Hat Trick Strategies, Ltd
ABOUT ME I know what it`s like to question what you want out of your life. Being a mother of two kids, a sister, wife, daughter, friend, employee, and colleague takes a lot of energy!! I love to help people. It was natural for me to extend myself to others and sometimes that meant that I sacrificed my own needs in the process. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I had forgotten to add SONIA to my list of the various roles I hold in my life. I came to this realization when I felt that I was going through the motions of “living life” but feeling like something was missing. There was tension in my body, an internal struggle that was slowly getting stronger and stronger. I noticed the signs all around me but I unfortunately chose to ignore them. I ignored what I was asking of myself to tend to the requests of others. I did this for many, many years. It’s actually a little embarrassing how much I neglected myself. Don’t get me wrong - I had a beautiful family, friends, kids, my husband was climbing the corporate ladder, we went on family vacations and I purchased my dream home. I was checking off my to-do list and felt accomplished, grateful and satisfied. BUT... what was this nagging feeling that something was missing. How could something could be missing? I was blessed. BUT … that didn’t change the fact that I always felt like I was searching for something… When I look back at old pictures of myself, I see the pain clearly on her face. I don`t know how I didn’t see it back then. What I was after was happiness. I thought I was going about it just fine, but it wasn’t until I took time to think about the life I really wanted and then took action that I realized what true happiness means to me. My passion is and always will be helping others succeed. I want to help women enjoy a new sense of self-awareness and tap into their deeper self, to gain access to something that has been tucked away for so long, that they almost forgot about it. A Lifestyle By Design
1
It was a process to get here... but I can confidently say that I’m here, I just took the scenic route! But trust me, it’s solo SUPER amazing and peaceful over here. When you discover your secret desire and bring it out, amazing things happen.
Sonia
Come and join me, will you ~
I’m Sonia Singh, Personal and Professional Development Coach and Founder of A Lifestyle By Design. I support women to achieve their goals and create the life they truly want by guiding them with personal change through self-discovery, mindset and goal-setting. I’d like to first acknowledge you for taking this step and setting an intention that there is room for more happiness in your life and that you are ready to explore what that would look like. If you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and generally feeling like your life needs a kick-start so you can feel happiness again, this mini-guide will provide you with a lot of practical and inspiring information so you can create the life you want. You will: ! Evaluate your current situation by creating your own life wheel ! Identify one life area that needs particular attention this year ! Create a vision of the life you want to create ! Build your tailored action plan to achieve your goal + re-design your life A Lifestyle By Design
2
YOUR CURRENT SITUATION If you are feeling unsatisfied in one area of your life, the impact can be felt in other areas. For example, you may be unhappy in your business. The stress you experience in this life area can overlap to you feeling frustration in your family life - for example, when a family member makes a simple request, that is one too many for you (who is already feeling stressed with other demands). So now you have stress in one life area and frustration in another life area. Your attitude, behaviour and decisions will reflect this unhappiness. Guess what? Those around you notice it, too. More often than not, they notice it before even you do! It’s for that reason that we are going to start by completing a life wheel exercise to help you identify which ONE area of your life needs some extra attention this year.
Create Your Life Wheel On the life wheel image provided, label each section with an important life area, such as health, career, family, finances, mental, community, personal growth, spiritual, interests, and hobbies. See the diagram below for an example of a life wheel. You can swap any of my suggestions to whatever suits you and your lifestyle. You may find that a few of the categories can be grouped together in one heading – that’s ok. Label it in whatever way feels right to you.
Take a few moments to do this now Once you’ve labelled all your important life areas you can see all the parts of your life that make you whole and define who you want to be. Take pride in gaining this clarity on what’s important to you in your life today. You are on your way! (Right): Blank Life Balance Wheel. Remember, you will find full page versions of these diagrams for printing and re-use from page 13.
A Lifestyle By Design
3
Evaluate Your Lifestyle It's time to evaluate your current lifestyle. You do this by reviewing each life area and identifying what’s going well and what needs improvement. Enter your comments in the Life Area Chart as shown below. Start with the one life area and work your way through the entire life wheel until all areas have been reviewed. What area would you like to start with? Now think about what is happening for you in this area of your life. Identify what’s going well and what needs improvement by completing the table as shown below. Start with the one area and work your way through the life wheel until all areas have been reviewed.
Life Area: Career
What’s Working Well
What Isn’t Working Well
Good paying
Not being appreciated
Flexible hours
Not Challenging No collaboration
Rating:
Your Toolbox (Above): Evaluation of the Career segment of the life wheel in our example (Left): Our sample life wheel A Lifestyle By Design
4
Rate Your Life Satisfaction Once you’ve described what’s working and what’s not working in your life, you can effectively rate your level of satisfaction. You may discover through this exercise that there are one or more areas that have been neglected and causing dissatisfaction for you overall. For example, if you are giving your family and career a lot of attention but your health/well-being is suffering, it could result in lack of energy or the motivation to invest time in building relationships. If you are a social person, this could cause real stress for you! Do you see how your life can areas overlap? Rate your level of satisfaction. If you were to scale 1-10, with 1 being low and 10 being the highest level of satisfaction, how satisfied are you with where you are at right now in each life area? Enter your rating in the table corresponding with the respective life area as shown. Complete this exercise by entering a rating for each life area.
Life Area: Career
What’s Working Well
What Isn’t Working Well
Good paying
Not being appreciated
Flexible hours
Not Challenging No collaboration
Rating:
6
(Above): Evaluation of the Career segment of the life wheel in our example
Color Your Life Wheel It’s time to pull out your labelled life wheel and shade in your ratings for each life area. With #1 being the center of the circle and #10 being the outside edge, draw a line that represents your #. For example, if you rated your level of satisfaction as #6, then you would draw a line a bit more than half-way through one section.
A Lifestyle By Design
5
Desired Rating:
7 How Does It Measure (Left): Repeat this visual ranking for each life area.
Find Your Opportunity
Take a look at your completed wheel. The shaded life wheel should clearly indicate what areas need attention in your life. Is it balanced or is there one or more life area that is clearly standing out as needing attention? What are your first impressions with where you are right now in your life? Are you satisfied with the way things are going? Identify the one area where if you were to increase satisfaction, it would, in turn, positively impact other areas. For example, if your finances have a low rating but your career satisfaction is relatively ok… would you consider making some changes in your finances by saving money? Or make changes in your career which, in turn, may increase finances and stimulate your personal growth, building your confidence and therefore improving your relationships? Take some time to see what area needs attention that will, in turn, increase overall life satisfaction. Once you select the area you want to make positive changes in, evaluate where on a scale of 1-10 you want to be in this area. What seems like a right number to you? Do you need a 10/10 or would 1-2 levels higher be sufficient to lift your spirits and make a difference? Enter your rating for where you want to be on your life wheel in a different color to signify where you want to go. A Lifestyle By Design
6
CREATE YOUR LIFE VISION You’ve discovered which life area is in need of your attention this year. Now that you have this clarity, you can begin to think about what it is that you truly want. What will make you feel happy and satisfied?
This next exercise is a visualization and it’s best done when you have some time alone and are in a relaxed state. You may decide to come back to this exercise later or if you feel that you are ready, you can start it now!
Visualization Exercise Take a few minutes now to relax your mind and body. You can choose to either lie down or sit. Take a few deep breaths and relax your body. Relax your shoulders, arms, legs, feet pressed to the floor. Close your eyes and take a few more deep breaths to fully be in the moment. Imagine you were at a movie theatre. It’s a premiere of a moving starring you in your dream life! In the movie, you will see with great detail what you ultimately want to have happen in your chosen area of your life. The following prompting questions will help you create the storyline.
! What are you doing in this movie? ! What is your role? ! Who are the supporting actors in the movie? ! What role do the supporting actors play? ! How are you all working together? ! What do you notice about yourself as you are watching yourself on the screen, achieving your goal? ! Watch yourself closely and describe everything you are doing when things are exactly as you want it. ! What is the “happy ending” to this movie? A Lifestyle By Design
7
In one or two sentences summarize the goal you have for yourself. _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________
Vision Board The visualization exercise allowed you to tap into your creativity and create a vivid picture of your ideal life. To lock in this vision and set your intention, create a vision board with images of what success in this life area looks like. There are several ways you can create a vision board such as:
What
! Create a pinterest vision board
Lights Your
! Draw pictures of your vision
Fire?
! Cut images out of magazines, newspapers and glue them onto a large piece of poster paper ! Create a vision journal (spiral book containing images of what you want to create in your life)
Please do not bypass this exercise! Book some time in your calendar to dedicate to this process as it will open you up to all the possibilities that are waiting for you. If you set your intention on what you want to have happen in your life, you open yourself to allowing such opportunities to come into your life. For example, if you want a career change and have your vision of the ideal career on your vision board... the next time you hear someone having a conversation that aligns with any aspect of your vision board, you will be fully aware of it. There are signs all around us; unfortunately, if we are closed off or unclear on what it is that we want in our lives, we can’t see the opportunities.
Lock In Your Motivation Now that you have visualized what you really want in your life. Ask yourself the following questions: 1. How will achieving this dream make you feel once it’s fully realized? 2. What are the benefits you will gain once this dream becomes a reality? 3. How will achieving this dream impact others around you? What are the benefits to others? 4. What will it cost you if you do not take action? 5. How motivated are you in making this become a reality? A Lifestyle By Design
8
CREATE AN ACTION PLAN Your Goal So far, you have:
! Evaluated how satisfied you are in your life right now ! Identified where there is an opportunity for improvement ! Determined where you are headed With your goal in mind (you created your goal statement as part of the visualization exercise), the next step is to determine your path to your destination. What are all the things you need to do? Nothing will change if don’t take action and move towards your goal. It’s for that reason that it’s now time to get clear on how you plan to achieve your goals.
Timeline You are clear on what you want. You have a starting point which Map The is today. Determine where you want to be one year from today in Path achieving your goal. Depending on how big or small your goal is and the amount of change that will be required, state what seems realistic for you in about one year’s time. Your life area chart (list of what is working well and what isn’t working well) will guide you in determining what is reasonable to accomplish by this time next year.
Measure and be realistic
A Lifestyle By Design
Write your one-year goal in the table provided (action plan timeline). This isn’t intended to put pressure on you, rather it should serve as motivation. It’s presented here to provide you with clear direction. This especially will come in handy when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated with your current situation. Let’s face it; we all have our ups and downs. Life happens. By assigning a timeline you will be in a better position to see your progress. At the end of one year, you can take pride and celebrate your accomplishments!
9
Brainstorm Take some time now to think about what it would take to reach success. List out all the actions you need to take to achieve your goal. In some cases, you may realize that you need to learn a new skill before you can complete an action. For example, if one of your action items is to update your resume, you may discover that first you need to learn how to create an effective resume which will require some research on internet. In this case, this would be an action step of its own. Think it through and The easiest way to do this exercise is to pull out some imagine the way sticky note pads and put one action item per sticky success will feel and place it on your wall. When you’ve completed listing all the action items, you can group like/related action items together under “update resume” (e.g. update resume, add in latest job responsibilities, research resume writing on internet, send resume to friend to review, finalize).
Plan Once you’ve identified all the tasks required so that you can achieve your goal, determine what must happen first, then what needs to happen next, so on and so forth. Using the action plan timeline note when you plan to tackle each task.
The purpose of this exercise is to be really clear on your direction. I suggest that you post this action plan somewhere visible so it serves as a reminder of what you need to do in order to achieve your dream and create the life you want.
A Lifestyle By Design
10
Action Plan Timeline One Year Goal: Change career where I feel like I’m doing meaningful work, working with a team, challenged and receive recognition for my contributions.
Month 1
Action
August
Contact job placement agencies to express my interest in finding a new job. * Research placement agencies on internet
2
September
Update resume * Find a template, add current job responsibilities, reach out to my friend Karen for review
3
October
4
November
5
December
6
January
7
February
8
March
9
April
10
May
11
June
12
July
A Lifestyle By Design
Write It Down
11
Printables: Your Clean-Up Plan The following pages can be copied and printed again and again, and includes plenty of white space to allow you to hand-write in your goals, dreams and more. Feel free to use colors, magazine clippings, photographs, and any other embellishments to get you excited, interested and involved in your plan and your vision board. There is no right or wrong to this exercise and it can be completed throughout the year, monthly or quarterly, and even over a series of years to help you determine and score your progress. This is much like a journal or diary, so the more raw and honest you can be through this process, and also the more detailed, the better your results and experience.
6 phases to implement a change in your life. Step 1: Vision - Identify a want, need, goal or dream you have for yourself Step 2: Goal Setting- Think about ways you can achieve what you want Step 3: Act - Prioritize and take action Phase 4: Assess - Check in to see if new behaviours are creating desired results Step 5: Adjust - Learn from your experience, modify your actions to get desired results Step 6: Success- Sometimes you can go through the 5 phases and achieve immediate success ! More often than not you will find yourself pausing and creating an updated plan based on your experience and learnings and go through the 6 step process again, and again, and again. This is all a part of learning so don’t be alarmed when you don’t hit it out of the park on the first go-round. TRY AGAIN.
A Lifestyle By Design
12
Life Wheel
A Lifestyle By Design
13
Life Area Chart Life Area:
What’s Working Well
What Isn’t Working Well
Rating:
A Lifestyle By Design
14
Action Plan Table One Year Goal:
Month
Action
1 2 3 4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11 12
A Lifestyle By Design
15
My Journal
Today’s Date: _________________________
This section is to capture your daily activities. What did you do, see and think as you went about your day? Write it down.
Happiness Scale of 1-10 _______________________
Grateful For _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________
Set your Intention What I will do, see or think differently tomorrow
A Lifestyle By Design
17
My Journal
Today’s Date: _________________________
This section is to capture your daily activities. What did you do, see and think as you went about your day? Write it down.
Happiness Scale of 1-10 _______________________
Grateful For _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________
Set your Intention What I will do, see or think differently tomorrow
A Lifestyle By Design
17
Vision Board Drafting Space
A Lifestyle By Design
19
A Lifestyle By Design
20
Copyright 2013 Sonia Singh ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Cover, Illustrations and Book Design By: Michelle Fitz, Hat Trick Strategies, Ltd
^=iáÑÉëíóäÉ B Y
D E S I G N