Bulletin Board

Immigrant Rewards

If you cross North Korea’s border illegally you get 12 years of hard labor.

If you cross Iran’s border illegally, you are detained indefinitely.

If you cross Afghanistan’s border illegally, you are shot.

If you cross Saudi Arabia’s border illegally you are jailed.

If you cross China’s border illegally, you may never be heard from again.

If you cross Venezuela’s border illegally you are branded a spy.

If you cross Cuba’s border illegally you are thrown into political prison to rot.

If you cross the southern U.S. border illegally you get, well, you know.

Johnny’s Perspective

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating immediately.

His mother said, “Johnny, wait until we’ve said the blessing.”

“I don’t have to,” the kid replied.

“Our course you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.”

Johnny responded, “That’s at our house. This is grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

Charles Schulz’ Philosophy Timberjack’s Dominance

The following was the philosophy of Charles Schulz, late creator of the Peanuts comic strip. You don’t have to actually respond to the directives/questions; just ponder them. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant. 4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? Probably not so good. The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday, even though they were the best in their fields.

Applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates fade.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one. 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special. 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? Here’s the takeaway: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most recognition. They are the ones who care about you the most. Keep those people close to your heart. Random Thoughts l Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote three months of your life to saving $6.17. l I was visiting my daughter when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. “This is the 21st cen tury,” she said. “We don’t have a newspaper. Here, use my iPad.” That fly never knew what hit it. l Jellyfish have survived 650 million years despite not having a brain. This gives so many people hope. l Two birds were talking while perched on a power line and looking down. One asked the other, “Is that a human in that field.” The other one replied, “No, it’s a scarecrow dressed like a man.” The first one responded, “How can you tell?” The answer: “Easy. He’s not looking at a cell phone.” l To err is human. To blame someone else shows management po tential. l The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake. l Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘selective participation.’ l Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through,

There is no such thing taking its time getting to know everyone personally. l Our country will become a better place when everyone realizes there are only two kinds of people in it—good and as government bad. Ethnicity doesn’t matter. funded. It’s all taxpayer l A shoutout to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but can’t remember the password they created yesterday. funded. l What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants? It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and by walking. l Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Random Sign Messages —If your car is running I’m voting for it. —Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale? —I want to grow my own food but I can’t find bacon seeds. —My wife said I never listen to her, or something like that. —Don’t die a virgin. Terrorists are up there waiting for you. Senior T Shirt —Everything will kill you, so choose something fun. —How can a man who can hit a deer at 250 yards keep missing the toilet? —We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence. —I don’t watch CNN for the same reason that I don’t drink out of a toilet. —Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs…the government hates competition. —The first five days after the weekend are the hardest. —Mirror, mirror on the wall…what in the hell hap pened?

Back in 1981, when Timberjack dominated the skidder market, it had multiple dealers in most Southern states, including five in Alabama alone. Timberjack was the leading advertiser in SLT early on and continued along that path for decades. In other ads placed in SLT that year, Timberjack offered to finance any new skidder it had in stock at a ‘paltry’ interest rate of 16%. Such high rates reflected the deep economic recession that gripped the nation in the early 80s.