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Immigrant Rewards
Timberjack’s Dominance
If you cross North Korea’s border illegally you get 12 years of hard labor. If you cross Iran’s border illegally, you are detained indefinitely. If you cross Afghanistan’s border illegally, you are shot. If you cross Saudi Arabia’s border illegally you are jailed. If you cross China’s border illegally, you may never be heard from again. If you cross Venezuela’s border illegally you are branded a spy. If you cross Cuba’s border illegally you are thrown into political prison to rot. If you cross the southern U.S. border illegally you get, well, you know.
Back in 1981, when Timberjack dominated the skidder market, it had multiple dealers in most Southern states, including five in Alabama alone. Timberjack was the leading advertiser in SLT early on and continued along that path for decades. In other ads placed in SLT that year, Timberjack offered to finance any new skidder it had in stock at a ‘paltry’ interest rate of 16%. Such high rates reflected the deep economic recession that gripped the nation in the early 80s.
ference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most recognition. They are the ones who care about you the most. Keep those people close to your heart.
Random Thoughts
Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote three months of your life to saving $6.17. l I was visiting my daughter when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. “This is the 21st century,” she said. “We don’t have a newspaper. Here, use my iPad.” That fly never knew what hit it. l Jellyfish have survived 650 million years despite not having a brain. This gives so many people hope. l Two birds were talking while Everyone was seated around the perched on a power line and looktable as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, ing down. One asked the other, “Is that a human in that field.” The other he started eating immediately. one replied, “No, it’s a scarecrow dressed like a man.” The first one His mother said, “Johnny, wait until we’ve said the blessing.” responded, “How can you tell?” The answer: “Easy. He’s not looking at a “I don’t have to,” the kid replied. cell phone.” l To err is human. To blame someone else shows management po“Our course you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eattential. ing at our house.” l The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake. Johnny responded, “That’s at our house. This is grandma’s house and l Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘selective participation.’ she knows how to cook.” l Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking its time getting to know everyone personally. There is no l Our country will become a better place when everyone such thing The following was the philosophy of Charles Schulz, late realizes there are only two kinds of people in it—good and creator of the Peanuts comic strip. You don’t have to bad. Ethnicity doesn’t matter. as government l A shoutout to everyone who can still remember their actually respond to the directives/questions; just ponder funded. childhood phone number but can’t remember the password them. It’s all taxpayer they created yesterday. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. l What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants? 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. funded. It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pagsalads and by walking. eant. l Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners. —If your car is running I’m voting for it. How did you do? Probably not so good. The point is, none of us remem—Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale? ber the headliners of yesterday, even though they were the best in —I want to grow my own food but I can’t find bacon seeds. their fields. —My wife said I never listen to her, or something like that. Applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are —Don’t die a virgin. Terrorists are up there waiting for you. forgotten. Accolades and certificates fade. —Everything will kill you, so choose something fun. Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one. —How can a man who can hit a deer at 250 yards keep 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey missing the toilet? through school. —We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difone of us is the bad influence. ficult time. —I don’t watch CNN for the same reason that I don’t 3. Name five people who have taught you drink out of a toilet. something worthwhile. —Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs…the 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciatgovernment hates competition. ed and special. —The first five days after the weekend are the hardest. 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with. —Mirror, mirror on the wall…what in the hell happened? Easier? Here’s the takeaway: The people who make a dif-
Johnny’s Perspective
Charles Schulz’ Philosophy
Random Sign Messages
Senior T Shirt
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JULY 2021 l Southern Loggin’ Times
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