Raising a Generation with Emotional Resilience

As the intrinsic force that gives us the ability to cope efficiently with challenging situations and unforeseen circumstances, emotional resilience is imperative to live our life to the fullest. As Mai Elsayed, Clinical Hypnotherapist and NextGen MENA Committee member, investigates.

Red flags

According to Elsayed, there are a couple of vital signs that indicate if a person is emotionally resilient. The top three include solution-focused versus problem-oriented. She adds, “Emotionally resilient individuals tend to find the opportunity in every challenge. They have a can-do attitude and are optimistic that there is always a solution to every problem.” Secondly, internal versus external locus of control: they are not the type to play the blame game because they know that they are in control of their own lives. “Therefore, they handle any stressful situation by first managing their internal environment,” she says. “And third, emotional awareness versus denial; emotional intelligence is another extremely valuable skill that resilient individuals have.” They know their boundaries and understand that some situations do not require an emotional reaction. Most importantly, they allow themselves to feel their emotions, even if it makes them feel uncomfortable temporarily.

Specifically in kids and teens

Recent studies have shown that younger generations seem to be less resilient, and this continues to be a growing concern, she says. “However, we need to highlight the fact that there is so much awareness rising about mental health, which is great because it helps remove the stigma around this topic and encourages those who are suffering to seek help.” That also means that today’s younger generation express their mental health struggles more freely than the previous generations did. She asks, “So, does that mean that previous and current generations have the same emotional resilience, it’s just a matter of how openly they shared the emotional and psychological struggles they’re going through?” Looking back at some of the studies that were conducted around this topic, we cannot assume that there is a direct cause to the noted decline in resilience, but there a couple of factors that seem to correlate with current teenagers’ inability to cope with adversity.

Tangible solutions

Some of the factors related to the lack of resilience is having children that are too dependent on their parents to the extent that they were not allowed to face the problems they encounter. Guardians, she advises, should guide their children while allowing them to handle stressors independently. “Another major factor that could be linked to this decline is the idealized lives posted on social media,” she says, as younger generations continue to compare themselves to the pictureperfect Instagram feed as they secretly feel helpless. “They repress their emotions as they seek to conform to the virtual community of happy people.” Whilst there are many influencers who are breaking the norm by ‘being more human’ on social media, there is still so much work required in this area to not only educate, but empower the younger generation and their parents with the tools needed to make an internal change in the way we perceive ourselves in contrast to what we see on the internet. Elsayed explains, “That’s why these tools should be incorporated within school curriculums so children can grow up with these skills to become more emotionally resilient. There is still so much awareness and education needed around healthy parenting.”

Tips for effective empowerment for kids/teens that will enable them to become emotionally resilient

Parents should allow their children to face emotionally uncomfortable situations while guiding and helping them process their feelings. This also means giving children and teenagers the chance to be responsible for their mistakes, learn from them and fix them. However, parents need to keep in mind that most of the time, children may be experiencing situations for the first time. Therefore, kids don’t have a reference point to understand that what they have done is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Hence why, guardians should also be empathetic in guiding their youngsters. H