2023 Golden Years by hearstctmediagroup

O CTO B E R 2023

S P EC I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S ECT I O N GREENWICH TIME

NEW CANAAN ADVERTISER

THE DARIEN TIMES

THE WILTON BULLETIN

THE RIDGEFIELD PRESS

WESTPORT NEWS

CONSIDERING BECOMING OR USING A

FAMILY CAREGIVER? LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CT PROGRAMS THAT SUPPORT IT, AND PROS AND CONS

he aging process can be a struggle for those who find themselves in more of a need for daily help as well as for their families. SEE CAREGIVER ON PAGE 5

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

ransitioning from your family home can be challenging, but moving to The Inn,

Waveny’s independent living community, can be a soft landing into a wonderful

new chapter in your life. The Inn is our supportive, intimate retirement community with spacious apartments, restaurant-style dining, extensive social, recreational, educational and wellness programs, and so much more. Now, if the need arises for additional level of care, our comprehensive Healthcare Continuum offers Memory Care, skilled nursing, in- and out-patient rehabilitation, home healthcare and an expanded Telemedicine Services Program.

Come visit us today, and enjoy the warmth of coming home!

3 FARM ROAD | NEW CANAAN, CONNECTICUT | 203.594.5200 | WWW.WAVENY.ORG

GOLDEN YEARS

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LEARN YOUR

ROOTS GENEALOGY RESOURCES HELP YOU LEARN AND PASS ON YOUR STORY

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

s we age, we usually have more time to take up hobbies. We also probably ponder our influence in the world, and what mark we have left on it. In the past, learning about our ancestors might’ve required trips to dusty library or newspaper archives, town halls, or even flights overseas. But with today’s technology, researching our family tree can be done from the comfort of our living room couch and our laptop, phone, or tablet. PAID SERVICES

From paid or free apps to local genealogy clubs, there are many ways to research our family history to save for our own use or share with our children and grandchildren. In addition to learning our full stories, some discoveries in our ancestry might surprise us. On the premiere episode of “Who Do You think You Are?,” an American genealogy series based on the U.K. one of the same name, actor Sarah Jessica Parker learns her ancestor was one of the many women accused of witchcraft during the hysteria in Salem, Mass. Her ancestor, Esther Elwell, was one of the last formal accusations of the late 1600s before the court was dissolved. Both Parker and her fans were fascinated to learn this since one of her most beloved roles is one of three Salem witches in the movie “Hocus Pocus.” If you are interested in researching your family history, there are several options.

IN CONNECTICUT The Connecticut Society of Genealogists is an organization that welcomes fellow ancestry enthusiasts. Based in East Hartford, it offers in-person and Zoom events as well as volunteer opportunities for those a passionate about family history. Learn more at Connecticut Society of Genealogists (www.csginc.org). For those in the southern part of the state, Connecticut Ancestry Society, formed in 1954, does similar work, but is based in Stamford. It also publishes a quarterly journal. Visit www.connecticutancestry.org for more information.

Ancestry.com Perhaps one of the most popular genealogy websites, Ancestry provides a variety of services to research family history. It also offers a DNA search for more detailed research. The cost ranges from $21.99 to $199 depending on the subscription you opt for, with researching taking place in the U.S. and all over the world. Ancestry also allows you to create family trees or join another relative’s family tree.

MyHeritage.com MyHeritage offers free options, but membership costs range from $89-$299, including a DNA search.

FamilyTreeDNA As the name indicates, this site is based on DNA testing and using those results to help determine family history and ancestral connections, then and now. This site also offers DNA insight into your health and how to best use that knowledge to lead a better life. Archives.com After a free month of membership, you’ll pay $9.99 a month to search through over 600 collections of historical information from around the country and the world. Archives.com does not have a DNA component, which might be appealing to some.

FREE ANCESTRY SITES StatueofLiberty.org This free

The National Genealogical Society

database allows you to research arrivals to the U.S. via ships by searching their manifests.

has compiled an extensive list of free research websites that won’t charge you to search for your family tree as well.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE Whether it’s for fun, health reasons, or just more knowledge, discovering your ancestry can enhance your family’s story, and assist the next generation in building upon that legacy. A WORD OF CAUTION ON DNA RESEARCH: It is always possible results might reveal family secrets (current or past) such as adoption or other relatives previously unknown for a variety of reasons. n

Mike DeLuca Publisher Ashley Sanderson Special Sections Designer Susan Shultz Sponsored Content Producer

OCTOBER 2023

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GOLDEN YEARS

IT’S NEVER TOO SOON TO PLAN FOR THE

INEVITABLE DON’T PUT OFF END-OF-LIFE CHOICES DUE TO HARD CONVERSATIONS BY SUSAN SHULTZ

o one ever wants to think about the end of their lives, but the last thing any of us want to do when the time comes is add to our loved ones’ grief by forcing them to make hard decisions. That’s why the best time to make plans is when our minds and bodies are in the best shape to make these difficult decisions, not when illness, whether long-term or sudden, impedes our choices. When it comes to end-of-life planning, the decisions range from medical, financial, legal, and funeral arrangements.

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How to Start

The state of Connecticut offers a very simple outline for end-of-life planning that’s a good starting point. It’s a spreadsheet that asks for the respondent’s preferences in the actual funeral details, including preferred flowers, churches, scriptures, and music. It further outlines the preferred contacts and their phone numbers, who to distribute personal items to, and donations to charity. Naturally, most of these things can be covered by creating a will. SEE CHOICES ON PAGE 9

We’re by your side so your loved one can stay at

home.

Call (203) 853-0370 or visit HomeInstead.com/302 PERSONAL CARE | MEALS & NUTRITION | MEMORY CARE | HOSPICE SUPPORT Each Home Instead® office is an independently owned and operated franchise of Home Instead, Inc., an Honor Company. © 2023 Home Instead, Inc.

GOLDEN YEARS

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CLASS IS IN SESSION CT OFFERS SENIOR DISCOUNTS AND WAIVERS FOR COLLEGE CLASSES AdobeStock

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

ife is often the best teacher, but perhaps your interests as a result of life’s tutelage have changed. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take a dive into creative writing, political science, American Sign Language or more. Perhaps you’ve thought about taking a college class but been discouraged by the cost. But if you are a senior, over age 62, taking a class at one of Connecticut’s many excellent educational institutions may cost little or nothing. Taking a college course doesn’t always have to mean you are seeking to get a degree. Sometimes, it can be a fun way to learn a new skill, focus on an old interest, all while meeting new people in a fun atmosphere. Seniors can also sometimes learn in private programs at one of the many senior living communities in the state. At Meadow Ridge in Redding, an independent, assisted living and rehab center, retired college professor Dr. Judith Hamer conducts a college class bridge program that is now in its 12th year. Hamer, also a resident at Meadow Ridge, taught at New York University, Columbia, and the City University of New York. Hamer said the program is so popular this fall’s classes are nearly overbooked. The program began with partnering with Norwalk Community College but has now expanded. The paid classes are two hours, eight sessions, but without tests or homework. “What’s interesting is that despite there not being any tests or quizzes, I’d say a third of the students still take notes – they are just well educated, interested and want to learn,” she said. Particularly popular classes include history and art. But if you don’t have access to such a program, you can look into attending classes at some of the many excellent educational institutions the state has to offer.

Community Colleges

At community-technical colleges, seniors can use their tuition waivers when space is available in a course after all paying students have been accommodated and there are enough paying students for the college to offer the class. This “space-available” requirement applies even to seniors enrolled in degree programs. For a full list of CT’s community college options, visit www.ct.edu.

University of Connecticut

With its varied state-wide campuses, UConn offers its educational offers at a discount to senior citizens who are ofﬁcial residents. Senior citizens who do not seek degree credit may audit undergraduate courses only with consent of the instructor. A seat must be available in the course on the 10th day of classes. Over-enrollment in a course will require written consent from the instructor. The instructor will determine the acceptable level of participation of the auditor. The instructor also has the authority to disenroll any auditor that is not adhering to the criteria set forth by the instructor.

Connecticut’s State University System

For more information on qualifications and how to apply, visit www.nondegree.uconn.edu/senior-citizen-audit. For Connecticut’s state residents over age 62, a program offers the possibility of applying for a non-matriculation application form for a $60 fee. Any Connecticut resident 62 or over who is a full-time student is exempted from the state tuition charge and the state university fee. All other fees are not waived. Senior citizens attending the university as part-time students pay a $60 non-refundable registration fee, student activity fee, lab fee and transcript fee when taking any continuing education courses. Senior citizens must be Connecticut residents and show proof of residency. Acceptable forms of identification needed to verify residency are: ■ Connecticut driver’s license or ■ Current automobile registration or ■ Federal and state income tax return Senior citizens who do not seek degree credit may audit any course with permission of the instructor. Auditors are subject to those conditions established by the instructor. You must obtain approval to audit within the first four weeks for full semester courses or within the first two weeks for courses scheduled less than a full semester. Audited courses carry no credit. Audit forms may be obtained at the Registrar’s Office. Universities included in this program include Central Connecticut, Eastern Connecticut State University, Southern Connecticut State University, and Western Connecticut State University.

“PICK UP NEW JOB SKILLS, LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE, OR SIMPLY DIVE INTO A SUBJECT THAT HAS

ALWAYS INTERESTED YOU.” Private Universities

Some private CT universities or colleges may offer discounted programs for non-degree seeking courses for senior citizens. However, some may limit them to alumni, such as Quinnipiac University, in Hamden, which offers this benefit to alumni over 65. Sacred Heart University in Fairfield offers senior citizens a “Taste of College” program at $100 a credit.

If there’s a college or university you are interested in, reach out to their admissions program and it may be possible on a case-by-case basis. In some cases, independent or assisted living facilities may offer collaborations with nearby educational facilities to take classes on site. For example, Meadow Ridge in Redding offers a program with Norwalk Community College to offer classes at the Redding campus.

—American Association of Retired Persons (AARP)

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) notes there are always plenty of reasons to go back to school – including that “you can pick up new job skills, learn a new language, or simply dive into a subject – art, music, psychology or basket weaving – that has always interested you.” AARP also offers a complete guide by state of free or discounted college class programs for citizens here. n

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GOLDEN YEARS

CAREGIVER FROM FRONT COVER The ﬁrst step is the acceptance on all parts that there is a need, then of course, to what extent those needs may be. Needs can expand from the simple to the more complex, and include: ■ Basic housekeeping (cooking, laundry, cleaning) ■ Personal hygiene ■ Medication reminders ■ Nursing needs ■ Dementia/Alzheimer’s aid, intervention and assistance In the earlier stages of assistance, often the person requiring extra help and their families begin the sometimes-difficult discussion of what the next steps may be. Is assisted living an option or a desire? While that works for many, there’s a psychological benefit for just as many to remain at home. In some cases, when there is not quite yet a medical need, a family member becomes the default caregiver.

While that can be stressful, Connecticut has a program through the Connecticut Home Care Program for Elders (CHCPE) that allows a family member to be compensated for this work. According to Assisted Living Home Care Services of CT, the Adult Family Living Program provides the oversight caregivers need to succeed and receive the financial compensation they deserve. The organization offers consultation for those considering this option, in terms of determining eligibility, how to apply and more. Assisted Living Home Care Services, Inc. is an approve provider for the state program.

Who qualifies as a caregiver? The caregiver must live in the home with the senior, must be at least 18 and cannot be a spouse. The state also determines whether the caregiver meets the ﬁnancial criteria.

Who qualiﬁes for this service?

Qualified applicants must be a CT resident who is at least 65 years old. The candidate must need assistance with daily living, including: ■ Bathing ■ Transferring ■ Dressing ■ Toileting ■ Ambulating ■ Eating This candidate may also need assistance due to behavioral or cognitive issues.

What do you get paid?

The caregiver receives a non-taxable stipend based on the level of care the patient needs. Assisted Living Homecare Services pays a stipend of $563 per week or approximately $30,00 a year. A full list of approved providers from the state is available at www. portal.ct.gov.

ACCEPT THAT THERE IS A NEED. CHALLENGES & BENEFITS OF FAMILY CAREGIVING While this solution can work for many families, it is not a decision that should be entered into lightly. The American Psychology Association says there can be mental and physical health effects of family caregiving. While not a universal response, the APA reports 50 percent of family caregivers report some strain, while simultaneously reporting positive experiences. Further analyses shows higher levels of depression and physical health problems in caregivers vs. non-caregivers. As logic would expect, older caregivers are more vulnerable to health impacts and injuries. Specifically, older women report more stress and tend to take on more tasks.

Dementia caregivers report the highest level of depression, and those who are family caregivers are more likely to ignore their own health needs and interventions. Despite those challenges, the APA reports that 83 percent of family caregivers report it as a positive experience. Reasons for that positive experience include a satisfaction in giving back to those who have cared for them, the knowledge that their loved one is getting excellent care in their own hands, and a feeling of personal growth. Further, a family caregiver may also feel they are modeling this caregiving for their own children should they need the same care someday. n

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The Mews in Greenwich: A Vibrant, Active Community for Seniors L

eaving your home and familiar surroundings can be difficult, but a friendly community can make all the difference in easing the transition to assisted living. For more than 70 years, The Mews in Greenwich has provided a space where seniors can thrive in their next chapter of life. The Mews started informally in 1949 as a clubhouse for senior citizens called the MerryGo-Round. The day center, created by Nancy Carnegie Rockefeller, offered seniors good food, company, and activities. In 1970, it evolved into the ﬁrst senior living residence in downtown Greenwich. Today, The Mews remains devoted to keeping residents living

Dominick Angiolillo, a resident of The Mews.

as independently as they please, free from the dayto-day responsibilities of home maintenance and meal preparation. Residents can enjoy a social atmosphere while taking advantage of recreational and dining options nearby. As we continue to learn more about older adults’ physical and mental health, senior housing and assisted living communities have evolved to meet their needs. Research shows that, compared to older adults living in homebased environments, residents of active communities have better health and wellness. One of the major reasons is the social interaction that active communities offer. “The Mews has truly become my home. I feel very comfortable living here.” Norma Piel, Resident of The Mews “I have made it my business to get to know all the residents and staff and to participate in many of the activities offered,” says Norma Piel, who moved to The Mews in 2021. “I particularly enjoy trivia, music appreciation, discussion groups, ﬁlms, lectures, and exercise. I am always busy. Additionally, I have become involved with the Tenant Council, which is a role I thoroughly enjoy. The Mews has truly become my home. I feel very comfortable living here. The other residents are my friends

— I accept them, and they accept me.” “I find comfort in knowing there are indeed places like the Mews where a sense of community persists on a daily basis.” Tom Megna, Executive Director at The Mews Tom Megna has been executive director of The Mews for six years and says, “I am still amazed at the warmth of this community. This is my second family, my second home. I find comfort in knowing there are indeed places like The Mews where a sense of community persists on a daily basis.” The Mews understands the challenges that new members of its community face and strives to enable residents to keep their lives as meaningful and joyful as ever. Residents visit restaurants and festivals and attend courses and lectures to continue their spiritual and intellectual journey. Residents come from diverse backgrounds and life stories, from businesspeople to artists and homemakers. The average age of our residents is 86, and The Mews is also home to an active, independent 105-year-old, named Dorothea Bellafiore, who enjoys going for walks and playing bridge at the local YMCA. She says living at The Mews for the past four years has “been a relief for my children. They are happy I’m here, and so am I.”

Resident ‘clowns around’ while celebrating her 100th birthday with her great grandchild. Our staff is a signiﬁcant part of why The Mews feels like a family. On average, employees have been with the company for 10 years. Some of our staff were even hired by The Mews’ founder, Nancy Carnegie Rockefeller, while others have felt so at home here that they decided to become residents themselves or trust a family member’s care to The Mews. “My mother was a resident of The Mews, and she was treated with love and dignity by all of The Mews staff,” says Lisa Marsili, who has worked at The Mews for nearly 20 years in various roles, most recently as Director of Nursing. “Each day my heart and soul are satisﬁed when I assist residents and families through their life journey.

What a true blessing!” The Mews is located in downtown Greenwich, in easy reach of shopping, restaurants, theaters, beaches, the Senior Center, and more. Our beautiful property includes a landscaped terrace and patio, a comfortable living room, and a library. Newly renovated accommodations range from studios to onebedroom apartments, short-term rentals, and respite stays. Caregiving options are designed to meet your individual needs, including experienced healthcare professionals on staff. “Although I am not formally in physical therapy the physical therapist is always around to offer suggestions,” says Dominick Angiolillo, a resident of The Mews.

“One day he noticed that I was experiencing some discomfort while bending down to pick up something and then the next day I find a grabber in my room.” Staff members take great pride in their work and view it as an opportunity to connect with the people they serve. “I have the benefit of having an impact on each of their lives every day.” Deb Pennella, Executive Chef at The Mews “The most rewarding part of my position is being able to develop relationships and friendships with our residents often through our menu and food options,” says Mews Executive Chef Deb Pennella. “I often find that food works as a vehicle in which I can start a conversation with the residents about food they remember eating throughout their lives. Frequently this conversation leads to me connecting with them personally, and I have the benefit of having an impact on each of their lives every day.” Learn more about everything this vibrant and intimate community has to offer you or your loved one at themewsingreenwich. org, or call (203) 987-4224 to schedule a tour. Our dedicated staff will help make the transition as smooth as possible as you plan the next phase of your life.

1/2 Bolling Place | Greenwich, Ct 06830 | 203.869.9448 | TheMewsinGreenwich.org

SWIPE LEFT GOLDEN YEARS

O CTO B E R 20 23

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THE BEST DATING APPS FOR SENIORS

HOW TO SAFELY NAVIGATE THE ONLINE MATCHMAKING SCENE Shutterstock

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

his fall, ABC premiered a new version of its popular “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” franchises. The concept of the show offers a single man or woman who is wooed by a group competing to earn their “final rose” and, often, a proposal.

SUGGESTED DATING APPS Our Time The AARP notes that Our Time offers a free option to communicate interest in candidates on the site, and even more benefits with a paid membership. Once the membership is paid, opportunities to send “virtual”gifts like photos of ﬂowers and promote your proﬁle are an option. The AARP says while it is a site billed for those 50 and over, younger candidates can also join.

The show is called “The Golden Bachelor” and is aimed at those over the age of 65. In this debut, contestants will compete to earn the love of a 71-year-old man who lost his wife after 43 years of happy marriage several years ago and is ready to try again. His life is full — with children, grandchildren, friends, and hobbies — but that one piece is missing. It’s a position that many who are older may find themselves — having raised a family or have older children, have lost a spouse, or just find themselves on the dating scene again. But most of us don’t have a network show to try our hand at finding love again. For the rest of us there are friends and family to play matchmaker, or, of course, the Internet.

Silver Singles Rather than swiping over photos, Silver Singles, also billed for those 50 and older, offers a personality test to match you with candidates it sees as compatible. It also prioritizes people in your local area first.

eHarmony A long-trusted dating site

Online dating may seem like the norm for younger generations, but for those of us who are not used to our love life being ordered like a takeout meal, it can be daunting. It can also be dangerous to our health and wealth, as many scammers play with the emotions of older people on these sites. But don’t be discouraged! There are recommended dating apps that are best for seniors’ use, as well as tips for using them safely.

that may not be solely for seniors, but it does have a subsite that is speciﬁcally for seniors. The sign-up process is detailed and extensive because it provides a questionnaire to match candidates with those whom they’re most compatible. While it can be costly, it provides some guarantees for those unsatisﬁed with the service.

SAFETY A recent report from The New York Times pointed out that romance scams are one of the most impactful for seniors. Scammers prey on possible loneliness, and often older people have more money to lose. AgingCare.com offers several tips to avoid falling prey to a “sweetheart scam.” ■

■

Google is your friend. If your connection isn’t being entirely forthcoming about their life or their background, most legitimate people with real identities are easily found with an online search, as are their relative info, career history, and more.

Call for help. If you are suspicious or feel you’re being scammed, let authorities know.

■

Limit social media sharing. Scammers tend to look at social media to exploit a weakness, especially any news of friends or family that can be used to trick them.

Don’t send funds. Don’t transfer or wire money to anyone, especially someone you have never met in person.

Keep your circle in the loop. If you have a new connection, share the info with friends and family who might see a warning sign you don’t.

Be realistic. Take inventory of yourself if someone much younger and ostensibly attractive suddenly shows interest and wonder if it’s too good to be true – could they have more nefarious motivations?

■

Pursue relationships face-to-face. Online dating apps are great

for a head start, but once a connection is made, try to keep them within reasonable distance so the real relationship growth can take place in person. Those who claim to be “overseas” or often ask for funds to be able to travel to see you are at worst a scammer and at best a waste of your time and money. n

HEY SIRI!

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GOLDEN YEARS

GET MORE OUT OF YOUR IPHONE WITH THESE FEATURES

seems like every time we turn around, there’s a new iPhone coming out – the iPhone 15 is coming up quickly. But even if you don’t have the most recent model, there are features that can benefit older adults to get the most usage out of their phone.

Medical ID

Every iPhone comes with the Health app. You can set up your medical identiﬁcation details in your phone in the case of emergency. You can list your medical conditions, medical notes, allergies, medications, an emergency contact and more. You can also set up your phone to show the health app when the phone is locked, again, in case of emergency. But emergencies aren’t the only thing your health app is good for. You can track your movement and even track how long you’ve been listening to louder music or sound on your headphones. Newer phones also have crash detection available in the case of an accident in the health app.

LED Alerts

For those who might be hearing impaired, or concerned about missing a notification, you can enable your camera flash to light up with any notification. In order to enable, open your settings application. Then go to the accessibility menu (which is helpful for a lot of features) and go to audio/visual menu. At the bottom of that menu, there’s an option for LED notifications. Switch the button to on.

Enable “Hey Siri”

Siri is your virtual assistant. Also within your accessibility menu, hit the Siri menu and then enable “Hey Siri.” This will get the attention of Siri whenever you say that phrase. This helps with easy dialing your contacts for convenience or also in the case of emergency.

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

Increase Text Size

If you find yourself straining to see the text on your phone, use your accessibility to increase your text size. Find the Vision category and seek out display and select larger text. You can then set the size of the text you prefer.

Spoken Content

To further help you with incoming communication or what you are opting to read, you can enable your iPhone to speak the text you select. Again, open accessibility, and under the Vision section, you can select Spoken Content. Then the next time you highlight text on your phone and the phone will offer the option for spoken content.

The Measure App

Did you know your phone comes with a measure app? By opening the measure app, you can focus on something with the ruler and your iPhone will measure it for you. Even better, if you are hanging a photo or building something, the measure app becomes a level. Hit the level and then hold up the phone along your surface for easy balancing.

Flip a Coin

Trying to make a choice or have a fun bet with a friend? We often flip a coin in such cases. But not everyone has a coin. No problem. Siri will flip a virtual coin for you by simply saying “Hey Siri, flip a coin.”

Sound Machine

Can’t sleep or surrounded by distracting noises? Your iPhone can offer a comforting background sound with the push of a button. Go to the accessibility menu and choose audio/visual. Then choose background sounds and turn on. You can choose from rain, ocean sounds, a stream or balanced noises. n

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STAYING IN

When you set up Alexa communications, you can ask Alexa to call those on your contact list. While it can’t directly call 911, you can set it up to call whoever you have designated as your emergency contact. Advanced abilities by Alexa happen when you or your loved one connect Alexa throughout your home. With installed items, you can tell Alexa to lock the doors, turn off the lights or television, and more. You can also set Alexa to remind you to take medication or other important items for you to remember.

KEEP YOUR INDEPENDENCE WITH VIRTUAL ASSISTANCE AdobeStock

BY SUSAN SHULTZ

or seniors who continue to live independently, there is no such thing as less is more when it comes to connecting technology. Whether it be life alert or camera technology to easily stay in touch with loved ones, it is important to have a communication system with the outside world. For seniors who continue to live independently, there is no such thing as less is more when it comes to connecting technology. Whether it be life alert or camera technology to easily stay in touch with loved ones, it is important to have a communication system with the outside world. Even for healthy older adults, especially for those living alone, the benefits of having a system on hand to enable them to call for help is worth the investment. It also provides peace of mind to loved ones and off-site caregivers if they are able to quickly contact a senior if need be. This is especially helpful if the family lives a distance away. These communication systems come in a variety of forms – and for a variety of needs.

Alexa Together

To pair your subscription with a loved one in order to remain connected in case of emergency, upgrade to Alexa Together. For about $20 a month, along with the purchase of an Amazon Echo device, it creates a connection that will alert your loved one with daily alerts and unexpected events. Another benefit is that it offers 24/7 urgent response team ready to respond to “call for help.”

Devices

Many senior sites suggest that Amazon’s Echo Show is a beneﬁcial device for seniors. AARP notes the wide video screen and the drop in feature offer an easy way for loved ones to check in on their senior relatives and do video chatting. The Echo Dot is a more affordable speaker option without the video capabilities. Other virtual assistants are available on Google for Android Devices, and “Siri” for Apple devices.

Virtual Assistants

Amazon’s Alexa is a voice AI assistant that works with a variety of devices. It gets to know you intuitively and is free to use when paired with an Amazon compatible device. You can ask Alexa to do a variety of things, including play your favorite music or tell you the weather.

Certified Home Care Aides Serving Greenwich, New Canaan, Norwalk, Westport, Stamford, Darien, CT & all of Fairfield County

MEDICAL ALERT SYSTEMS US News ranked “Get Safe” as the number one medical alert system in 2023, part of the Bay Alarm company. Positives for Get Safe is it doesn’t require the person to wear anything. They can push a wall button, pull a cord or simply say “Call 911.” Other plusses include the 24/7 monitoring, two-way communication (so no need for a cell phone) and network coverage. US News notes that many other life alert systems require a land line. The National Council on Aging ranks Lifeline as their top medical alert system. With the app called Lifeline Cares, you can connect with your loved one. The NCOA notes that Lifeline is one of the oldest medical companies and it offers at home and mobile alert systems. Like Get Safe, it offers two-way communication and either a necklace or a bracelet to alert for help or falls. The NCOA also notes that AARP offers assistance and discounts for many of the medical alert systems. For their full list of information, visit www.ncoa.org. One of the most famous of all medical alert systems is Life Alert, the creator of the “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” commercial. According to its website, it “saves a life from a catastrophe every 11 minutes.” Founded in 1987, Life Alert says it handles over two million calls a year. It offers a “unique technology to provide superior home audio monitoring protection.” AARP offers a variety of beneﬁts to its members including information and deals on the above systems and more. Visit www.aarp.org. n

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GOLDEN YEARS

CHOICES FROM PAGE 3 Wills

The process for writing a will can be as simple or as complicated as your finances and family. If there are high-dollar net worth family members and/or assets, that will likely require a legal professional. If the person writing the will has a simpler lifestyle, AARP suggests online will services. However, AARP also notes that preparing a will can include having hard conversations with loved ones that often end up being the reason people delay writing a will. Those hard conversations are often a reason to do it sooner than later. Parents, especially those with young children, might think that the need for a will is years away when in fact those children make it all the more important. What if the unthinkable happened to both parents? Wouldn’t you want to be the one who decides who cares for those children versus a worst-case scenario tug-of-war? The same goes for important family heirlooms and expensive belongings. Debates over distribution of a loved one’s belongings can often tear an already grieving family apart, and in some cases result in painful legal ramiﬁcations. And don’t forget your beloved pets – making sure they’ll be cared for may be something you won’t think of but it’s important not to forget! The best way to avoid such painful events is to make it clear. And while it sounds unlikely, don’t use your last will and testament to punish a loved one by intentionally leaving them out. These types of moves are often challenged in the legal system, and whether that challenge is successful or not, it’s always painful. Also important for higher net worth individuals to note, Connecticut’s estate tax exemption is under $9.1 million. Any estate worth over that amount will be taxed at 12 percent. Connecticut is only one of 17 U.S. states that has an estate tax, which means before it can be passed on to heirs, 12 percent will be taken by the state. In some cases, dealing with an estate this size means it could be worth consulting legal counsel.

Medical Choices

In this case, a living will means you make decisions regarding your medical care before you need them. The Mayo Clinic deﬁnes a living will as a written, legal document that spells out medical treatments you do and don’t want to be used to keep you alive. Also included can be decisions on pain management as well as organ donations. Things to consider when making a living will include the difficult thoughts about what would make your life not worth living – that is a very personal decision for all of us. Things to include in your living will include at what point, if any, you’d opt to not be resuscitated, or whether you’d want to continue living on a ventilator, a feeding tube, or dialysis.

Other Plans

While not specifically related to end of life, there are other things you can do to pass along your legacy, gifts, and stories.

Make sure to keep treasured photos labeled and dated if possible. If you have heirlooms like jewelry or your great grandmother’s cast iron pan, tell your children and grandchildren their stories now. Have a beloved family recipe you have carried on? Write it down now; better yet, make it with your children or grandchildren. Tell your stories to your family — about you, your parents, and grandparents. Tell the embarrassing ones of your youth, the sacrifices of those that came before, and more. When in doubt, don’t throw it out. That scribbled drawing you made on a sketchpad, that book of poems you annotated – these could be precious memories someday. The bottom line is the more we prepare now, the more likely that when our time comes, our loved ones can grieve peacefully while cherishing what we have left behind, in their hands and their hearts. n

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A LIVING WILL SHOULD BE DISCUSSED WITH YOUR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND YOUR FAMILY SO THEY CAN ADVOCATE FOR YOU AND THERE ARE

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GOLDEN YEARS

O CTO B E R 20 23

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