Encore Life, Vol1, Fall

The Four “No’s” - Part Four Confessions of a Dimwitted Husband 21 Stress-Free Holiday Ideas Confused About Medicare?... Find Your Answers Here!

Tune In To Our New Radio Show!

Encore Living - A radio show that talks about Better Living In The Second Stage of Life.

Hosted by Joyce Joneschiet (Encore Living Interiors/ Encore Life Magazine with Aaron Murphy (ADM Architecture LLC/Empowering the Mature Mind).

It will be a power-packed hour with all kinds of guests and features that will help you design your encore life!

Special features include:            

Interior design tips How interior design & architecture can help you age in place The newest products for your home Best travel destinations for baby boomers What is a referral agency and how can they help you with your options Nutrition for Adults Only How in-home care is not a luxury Easy no-cook meals Encore careers Inspirational baby boomers The 5 Wishes and so much more!

For more info on how you can be a sponsor, click here!

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Starting September 10th, we’ll be broadcasting the second Monday of every month from 8:00 to 9:00 AM (PST). You can listen live locally here in Seattle on 1150 AM KKNW or from anywhere by live-streaming on http://1150kknw.com.

We’re on the Chat With Women Network!

Contents features 20 32 24 45

The Four “No’s” - Part Four - The Positive No Fraud – Common Scams Targeting Older Adults 21 Stress-Free Holiday Ideas 8 Red Flags and Hot Tips: How to Find a Mechanic

legacy

40 Your Life Matters 12 How Can I Preserve My Family’s Heritage?

22 Get Busy Living: Learning To Honor And Respect Ourselves And Our Lives

spirituality & relationships

30 What Have You Been Thinking?

28 Asking For What You Need 42 Confessions Of A Dimwitted Husband (Part 2)

career & transitions

26 Who Are The Owners in Your Business?

34 A Moving Story (Part 2) 44 Don't Throw Out My Stuff!

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Contributors

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Contents (Cont.) aging in place 13

Senior Living with Ease (Part 1) 15 Bed and Bath Updates For The Comfort and Safety of Loved Ones 14 “I Can Install A Grab Bar, So Why Do I Need An Architect?”

health & wellness 47 36 17

Person-Centered Healthcare Moving Past Childhood Trauma Confused About Medicare?... Find Your Answers Here!

in every issue 4,6 7 5 26 30 6 8 50 3 11 50

Contributors Editor’s Letter—From Me, For You Online Glimpses Encore Careers Spiritual Corner From You, For Us On Our Bookshelf Subscription Info Advertising Info Conversations (Rebecca Bomann, SASH) In The Next Issue...

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Contributors (Cont.)

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From You, For Us Letters From Our Readers are always appreciated and welcomed. We hope to hear from you about this issue and want to get your feedback on what you would like to see in future issues. This helps us tailor this magazine to your needs so we can provide the content that you’re looking for.

If you’ve received a benefit from a particular article or video, tell us about it!

We will be using this page to mention your letters and emails and we are looking forward to hearing from you!

Please send all your letters to:

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Federal Way, WA 98023 66||Encore EncoreLife Life©©||Fall Fall2012 2012||encorelifemag.com encorelifemag.com

From Me, For You Just a note...

I sit here in gratitude as I write this to you thinking of all the good things and blessings that are a part of my life. I’d like to include you, my friend, as well in my list of blessings! This time of year always gets me to looking over my life and who the most important people are to me.

To honor that, we have our largest issue yet with some great features and topics. This is the last installment of our “No” Series—don’t miss it! I’ve written my own 21 stress-free holiday tips to look over as we prepare for this coming holiday season. Need to make sense of the Medicare open enrollment period or how to find a reliable mechanic? Curious how to preserve your family’s heritage and protect your loved ones from the latest scam? Maybe you need a good laugh? Read the second part of Rick Stafford’s “Confessions of A DimWitted Husband.” It’s the funniest yet! We hope you enjoy all our articles we’ve selected just for you.

Make sure to have your friends and family sign up for a FREE subscription today so you can each have access to all the good stuff that is coming your way. Click here to sign up!

Here’s to your Encore Life!

Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) Publisher & Editor in Chief

Encore Life © | Fall 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 7

On Our Bookshelf Click on the book images for more info!

Barefoot Contessa Family Style

By Ina Garten

Autumn

By Susan Branch Susan Branch brings her enthusiasm for cooking, entertaining and decorating to the fall months. Her whimsical watercolors, hand-written recipes and reminiscences, and sentimental quotations decorate each page, making it difficult to figure out if this is a practical cookbook/entertaining guide or a visually appealing coffee-table book.

The recipes, such as Orange Spiced Harvest Stew (with beef, red wine and vegetables, served in a pumpkin), Roasted Beet Salad with Creamy & Mild Blue Cheese Dressing, and Cranberry Apple Crisp, take advantage of the best nature has to offer.

Although Branch includes chapters on Halloween and Thanksgiving, most of her 100 recipes allow readers to make everyday meals special. The book has a distinctly country, New England feel, with its Prayer for a Little Home, sketches of leaves around each page and numerous American Indian–inspired dishes, such as Corn Pudding and Indian Shuck Bread. Serious cooks will be put off by the book's sensory overload, but lovers of Mary Engelbreit– type homey kitsch will lap this up. 4-color watercolors throughout.

The Gourmet Potluck: ShowStopping Recipes for the Buffet Table

By Beth Hensperger Yet another potluck invitation in the mailbox? This one-stop collection is the antidote to the what-should-I-bring woes. Organized seasonally and focusing on fresh ingredients (with lots of veggie options), THE GOURMET POTLUCK gives cooking for groups style, panache, and inspiration. From Super Bowl parties and summer barbecues to birthdays and bridal showers, catering vet Beth Hensperger dishes up ideas aplenty for every potluck occasion.

The definitive guide to being the star of every potluck, with straightforward, sophisticated recipes scaled to serve 10 to 16 people. Features more than 50 main and side dish recipes and 20 full-color photographs.

Each recipe includes prep timeline, serving dishes and utensils needed, transportation notes, and reheating requirements. Reviews"The definitive guide to being the star chef at the next meal cooked by committee."-Cookbook Digest

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Ina Garten, who shared her gift for casual entertaining in the bestsellingBarefoot Contessa Cookbook and Barefoot Contessa Parties!, is back with her most enticing recipes yet—a collection of her favorite dishes for everyday cooking. In Barefoot Contessa Family Style, Ina explains that sharing our lives and tables with those we love is too essential to be saved just for special occasions—and it’s easy to do if you know how to cook irresistible meals with a minimum of fuss.

For Ina, the best way to make guests feel at home is to serve them food that’s as unpretentious as it is delicious. So in her new book, she’s collected the recipes that please her friends and family most—dishes like East Hampton Clam Chowder, Parmesan Roasted Asparagus, and Linguine with Shrimp Scampi. It’s the kind of fresh, accessible food that’s meant to be passed around the table in big bowls or platters and enjoyed with warm conversation and laughter.

With vivid photographs of Ina cooking and serving food in her beautiful Hamptons home, as well as menu suggestions, practical wisdom on what to do when disaster strikes in the kitchen, and tips on creating an inviting ambience with music, Barefoot Contessa Family Style is the must-have guide.

Watch Our Before And After Video!

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Find out how easy it is to change your life for the better!

Join Host Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) from Aging In Place Options LLC as she interviews Kristina Brown from Eating Skinny on our special three part series of recorded calls! You will receive the recordings of all three calls for one low price!

Joyce Joneschiet

Kristina Brown

Including three informative teleseminars:

First Call: Aging Well You will learn: How to age well and support our elders to have a healthy and happy life.

What are the three core areas that we need to focus on to be balanced and healthy as we age?

What foods support us as we age?

What are some of the unique challenges that the elderly have to being healthy and how can we overcome them?

Second Call: Beat the Sugar Blues Learn: How to stop sugar cravings and avoid the 3pm candy run.

What does sugar really do to us?

Where does all that sugar lurk? Become a savvy shopper!

Food and mood, is sugar the answer?

Proven tactics for dealing with that sugar siren call!

Third Call: Heart Healthy Living The Top Ten Tips for Heart Healthy Living What are the Super Foods that keep our hearts happy How to set your New Years Heart Healthy Goals with Kristina during the class using an interactive worksheet Plus over $125 of FREE BONUS GIFTS!

Click here to get more info about the teleseminar and FREE Bonus Gifts!

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Conversations

By Joyce Joneschiet, Editor in Chief

I had a wonderful conversation with Rebecca Bomann of the SASH Program.

This stands for Sell A Senior’s Home and their mission is to provide specialized elder care by assisting seniors in the sale of their home. I loved hearing Rebecca’s own story how she came to start SASH. She started professionally in social work and learned when there was a need, how she could fill it. She helped battered women and homeless families here and overseas in South America.

But it was when her own grandfather needed to sell his home in 2000 that she found herself helping him sell his house so he could come and live with her family. She didn’t want him to live alone so she purchased a large rambler for her and her family so he could stay with them. He still had to sell his home, however, so because it was in another town, she had to travel to get the house ready and take care of all the real estate arrangements. After numerous mishaps with her grandfather being hospitalized, dropping the price, having a buyer move in early & items being stolen, the house finally sold. It took years from his life & was an undignified way for him in his last years to live. He was able to live with her for a year and half before he passed away.

She explored real estate investing then and found that many of her clients were seniors who needed help with getting their homes ready for sale and numerous other situations. So she essentially started doing social work with these seniors. She evicted tenants, did all kinds of home repairs herself and started seeing that there was a great need for seniors who needed to sell their homes. She didn’t want them to go through what her grandfather had.

She founded SASH in 2005 and took a year to build credibility with the senior services community before she started serving clients in 2006. SASH now combines social work, senior care and real estate to provide seniors with unparalleled service with integrity and respect . Their philosophy is that the buyer doesn’t dictate the sale, the senior does. They’ve had 10 day closings all the way up to 14 month closing so seniors could move into the housing of their choice. They’ve shipped cars to California, disassembled pool tables, tackled cats that wouldn’t leave, work with hoarders, take their clients to a great restaurant on moving day and at the end of it all, the senior has everything packed, moved, delivered and even put away. So they are rested, happy, not at the end of their rope and avoided catastrophe that might otherwise happen when they move themselves. They started a new program in 2009 called RRRR, which stands for Rest and Relax while we Repair and Renovate. All the terms are determined ahead of time what the % is for each party, the senior gets their profit in advance and the package includes home improvement, packing & moving, and unpacking at destination. Make sure to get all the details from them.

The best news is that the SASH program may be coming to a community near you as they are working on franchising. Click on these icons to find how SASH can make your home sale & move a wonderful experience!

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How Can I Preserve My Family’s Heritage?

By Annabelle Larner Do you have old pictures and mementos lurking in a box in your closet? What photographs would you like to preserve and share with your family? Here are some tips on how to care for your precious collections: Acid-free, archival, cool storage – these are the preferred environments for most artifacts – such photographs, textiles, documents and heirlooms.

Damp basements or hot attics = bad! Your closet actually may be the safest place, temporarily, to store your precious heirlooms. Look for a place in your home that has even, cool temperature year-round.

What do you have and how are these things stored together? Newspaper articles, documents, and other paper products, especially older artifacts, were often created with wood-pulp paper, which contains acidic chemicals that break paper down over time, and also can transfer that acid to other objects nearby. So separate those documents from other things – especially photographs.

Hire an expert! Should you need further care or help, Annabelle Larner, of Larner Archiving and Preservation is an expert at caring for photographs and artwork. She can get your precious photographs, heirlooms, and documents organized, digitized, conserved, and preserved so they can be shared and enjoyed for generations to come.

Annabelle comes to this business with an eye toward preservation and beauty, drawing from a career of over 15 years working in museums caring for collections of all kinds. She has handled and archived valuable documents ranging from Napoleon’s handwritten letters to photographs by Robert Mapplethorpe.

Creating her own business, Larner Archiving and Preservation, was a natural transition for her. With background in genealogy, she can also help you figure out your family tree, bringing to life stories of your family and its history.

“My Aunt Marilyn’s house is a virtual museum of family treasures – photographs, civil war deeds, old family bibles with births and deaths recorded by hand…I fell in love with the idea of preserving family history from being with her, and always dreamed of a business where I could help others do something similar. I am excited now to be helping others find a way to share their treasures.”

Larner’s website, blog, and Facebook page have more tips on caring for your collections.

Or contact her for a free consultation: annabelle@larnerarchiving.com, 206-734-7112 Annabelle Larner is a skilled arts professional with more than 15 years’ experience managing artwork for museums, galleries, and private clients. She was museum registrar at The Frye Art Museum in Seattle, at Independent Curators International in New York, and at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco, where she was responsible for the care, storage, transport, restoration, preservation, and installation of a broad range of artwork. She has personally cared for hand-written letters by Napoleon, 19th-century French gilded-framed oil paintings, glass vessels by Dale Chihuly, sculptures by contemporary bad-boy artist Damien Hirst, and photographs by artists ranging from Imogen Cunningham to Robert Mapplethorpe. Annabelle has a masters degree in Museum Studies from John F. Kennedy University in Berkeley and is a member of the Western Museum Association. She has given presentations on several occasions about preserving family collections and the safeguarding of artwork.

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By Linda Hunt

Senior Living with Ease-Part 1 15 Bed and Bath Updates For The Comfort and Safety of Loved Ones

Of all the things that go bump in the night, we do not want it to be the sound of trouble in the dark for our loved ones.

In this part, our focus in on the bedroom and the bathroom designed for seniors. Water, slippery surfaces and dark bedrooms can become hazardous issues that need to be addressed for safety and peace of mind. Downsizing design, safety, style and comfort must be a top priority. Putting these 15 design tips into place will provide a safe, cozy living space in which to retreat.

1 Install handles and grip bars to assist with entering and exiting the shower and for stability during bathing.

2. Standard bathtubs can be turned into a walk-in shower with a tub cut. It is a permanent, finished cut on the side of the tub that creates a safe and easy entrance for showering.

3. Tub benches provide safe seating during bathing.

4. Use rubberized bath mats inside and outside of the tub/shower area.

5. Use plastic shampoo bottles that are easy to grip. The ones that come with pumpers are very user friendly.

6. Install sufficient lighting and have all the outlets brought up to code for use in the bathroom.

7. Light the walkway into a bathroom by using a nightlight with sufficient brightness for safe nighttime navigating.

8. Safely dispose of all expired medications so that they are not accidentally ingested.

9. Keep spreads and bed skirts off the floor to minimize tripping. You can purchase tailored bedspreads with fitted corners on the ends to eliminate bulkiness that can become a tripping hazard.

10. Use lighter weight bedspreads and blankets. Bulkier, heavier bedspreads and blankets are too cumbersome for many seniors to move while sleeping.

11. Add a sturdy, comfortable chair to the bedroom design for a reliable spot for seniors to sit down and put on their shoes and socks or curl up with a book.

12. Use allergen resistant covers for bed pillows.

13. Use remote controlled window treatments to make it easier for arthritic hands and joints where there is no reaching required.

14. Use room darkening window treatments. They cut down on bright light for sensitive eyes and can promote longer, more restful sleep. Motion sensor night lights can be put to good use here for lighting during movement at night.

15. Place a telephone with a larger keypad on the nightstand by the bed. Program family and emergency numbers into the speed dial. Additionally, there are many personal emergency alert devices such as pendants, watches and transmitters available that are invaluable.

Certainly these are great suggestions, but be sure to look closely at the living spaces of your senior loved ones for other potential risks such as loose rugs, dangling power cords, etc. The next part of this article series will cover the living room and kitchen. We will cover the four most important rooms your senior will be living in. Let’s create a “home safe home” for all our loved ones.

Linda is a WFCP Specialist Certified interior designer with 25 years of experience working on residential design and is an active member of International Furnishings and Design Association. She specializes in custom window treatments and downsizing design for over 20 years. She’s written several e-books on interior decorating topics and wrote a semi-monthly design column for the 360 View Newspaper. She holds a B.A. in history from the State University of New York.

Her designs have often been featured in Ava Living Spotlight and teaches adult education classes. Click on the email image to write to Linda!

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“I Can Install A Grab Bar, So Why Do I Need An Architect?”

By Aaron Murphy, CAPS I’ve stewed on this comment for quite some time, and I figured it was time to speak up. Now, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I work with wonderful General Contractors every day, and they are a vital and valuable part of the design and construction team. They understand this discussion and are in agreement with me, and I’m not “preaching to the choir”. This is a higher level discussion… so, let’s all settle down, take a deep breathe, and move on to an educated discussion on a very vital and timely discussion topic.

It’s been relayed to me more than once, second hand, about some GCs (General Contractors) out there, as they are talking to a client about wanting to make alterations to their home so that it will work for them better as their needs change at home (a.k.a. “Aging In Place” as the industry is referring to it now). I normally wouldn’t take offense, but in this situation I find that it’s a good time to stand up for my industry as a designer, and help set the record straight about “Why you DO NEED AN ARCHITECT”, a professional designer, and especially one that understands this specific client’s needs and project type.

So a question or two, to that “non-CAPS certified” G.C. about your client 1) Do they know what the client’s Occupational Therapist recommends? Which grab bar is going to work best for them? What their options are? What the specifications are on that particular mobility device? At what height and angle it should be installed for each specific movement and mobility need in each location it is required?

2) Do they know the specifications on the client’s wheelchair, walker, or other mobility devices if they have one? Turning Radius? Options that may suit them better than their current device if they don’t have an occupational or physical therapist? Recommendations for who could help with OT/PT input, if they don’t have a relationship already? Where they can go with their family members to look at other mobility device options for themselves and their home?

3) Do they know not just what their budget is for the potential construction project work at the house, but also how that budget/cost ties into their overall plan for their funds in retirement? Their monthly cash flow and expenses? Their ability to pay for in-home care? Their ability to make a financing payment based on the income distributions that their investments are paying out monthly / annually?

4) Do they know how to address and advise them on different ways they can fund the project, who they can trust to finance an “aging in place” remodel, what a “reverse mortgage” is and who they can talk with to see if it might make sense for their situation? Do they have the ability to discuss with them “other housing solutions” if staying

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at home is not the best answer for their situation upon learning about their situation and conditions and wants / needs? Do they know where in their area they could go to look at their other housing options if they are considering those as well, in comparison to remodeling their home to stay there?

5) Do they know all the aspects of a quality “Aging In Place” experience? Do they understand how daylight affects the client’s psychological health? Do they understand that white surfaces can cause vertigo in Alzheimer’s clients? Do they understand that colors, transitions, lighting, fixture locations, heights, floor plan layout, cabinet elevations & upgrades, appliance selections, heights, locations as it relates to the specifics of the client can “make or brake” their happiness, functional use of and therefore success of, their “Aging In Place” remodel… just to name a few points?

BOTTOM LINE: Does the General Contractor know what our “Aging In Place” client’s GOALS are? Do they know their LIMITATIONS? Do they know their CONCERNS? (The truth is always “3 levels deep”… Are they TRAINED to ASK the QUESTIONS that will get you REAL ANSWERS?) Why am I throwing my hat in the national “Aging In Place” ring, per se? Why am I working so hard at sharing the “Aging In Place” message as an option, and offering my services in this realm of the residential building industry?

We are an “Aging In Place” COACH in all reality. A professional concierge of sorts. We (our industry, if you’re educated in this realm) know that I we’re just ONE piece of a puzzle, and ONE VALUABLE TEAM MEMBER among many other professionals that equate to a full systems and a best case “turn key” or “one stop shopping” solution for helping a client to stay in their home, ie. to “Age In Place”. Our clients in this field and demographic want respect, trust, value, and a complete “turnkey” solution where all team members are honest, ethical, and communicate well with each other.

Their own home is where AARP polls state that 89% of “Older Americans” would prefer to live, regardless of a possible change in their physical, mental, or emotional state that may occur with age.

So…Why use an ARCHITECT? Speaking only for ourselves, it would be based on these credentials: 1)We have the training (NAHB National Association of Home Builders national accreditation of being a“Certified Aging In Place Specialist” – CAPS). We have the niche industry and business model homework established, and continually ongoing. We have the professional relationships established over 2 decades in the fields of architecture and real estate investing. We have the professional networking connections across western Washington state, growing quickly to cover the entire NW and soon-after toward a nationwide database of connections and relationships.

2) We have a clear understanding through that ongoing homework, of the other industries that are required to interface with this client and their “staying at home” solution. I can refer my clients to all the potential “team members”they may need in their area, for completing that dream of “Aging In Place”. This is including (but not limited

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to) – CAPS certified General Contractors, CAPS certified interior designers, CAPS certified occupational therapists, physical therapists, financial & retirement planners, and reverse mortgage specialists, just to name a few.

3) We also have an Architectural License, with 15+ years of experience in the field. As of 2002, We’ve completed the required 8 years of combined college level architecture education via schooling and the subsequent associated apprentice work under a licensed architect in a firm. Then by the latter part of 2003, We’d completed the preparation and studies required to sit for the 9 tests (totaling 36 HOURS of exams) to become a licensed architect in our state.

4) We’ve been a part of over 1 million square feet of (inherently, with public use) “ADA Accessible” Commercial Buildings – Including the design, permitting, and construction of shell & core office buildings, retail tenant spaces, interior tenant improvements, warehouses, and R&D facilities. We’ve worked in all construction materials including steel, concrete, CMU, stucco, wood, etc. We’ve done site planning for millions of square feet of public facilities, which includes working with civil engineers for layout of parking, sidewalks, egress into and out of buildings, and accessible restrooms and commercial elevators, just to name a small part of our own professional background.

5) We’re also well versed & experienced as a residential architect & real estate investor. We bought 18 houses in a 24 month period during the last 5-7 years. We have rehabbed & flipped houses for retail sale, held rental homes and been a landlord for multiple homes, as well as executed “lease options” (rent-to-own programs). At some points during this time, we were buying a home, remodeling two homes, and selling or renting a home – all at one time. Therefore we fully understand discussions about “recouping remodeling costs” and the “resale” concerns of my clients. We have a solid understanding of real estate contracts related to purchase and sale, how to evaluate investment and spending decisions related to the clients’ ROI (Return on Investment) if that is a concern of theirs in remodeling for AgingIn-Place, as well as an understanding FMV (fair market value) of homes in different areas.

Most importantly, as a result of all this training and experience – We can listen and empathize with the emotional challenges that face the client in relation to spending money on their home at any & all levels throughout this process and discussion.

So, in our own humble yet educated opinion, “I can install a grab bar“ just isn’t enough for our clients. It doesn’t address their DREAMS. It doesn’t address their GOALS. It doesn’t address their limitations. It doesn’t address their CONCERNS.

It doesn’t even come close to answering the question of “How can I Age In Place Successfully”.

We can help with that question.

Aaron D. Murphy, Architect / CAPS Owner at ADM Architecture - (including “Aging In Place – Home Consultation”) Managing Editor at Empowering the Mature Mind

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Confused About Medicare?...Find Your Answers Here!

By Katheryn Evans Some of the most common questions I get from Medicare eligible clients, as an insurance broker, are: “I’m turning 65, am I eligible for Medicare?” or “I’ve just turned 65, do I have to sign up for Medicare?” Or, “Exactly what is Medicare? Is it free?”

First, let’s begin by discussing what exactly Medicare is then we will address some of the most commonly asked questions.

Medicare is a health insurance program administered by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), a department of the federal government.

Medicare is a health insurance program for: People 65 or older People under 65 with certain disabilities People of any age with End-Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) (permanent kidney failure requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant) The Different Parts of Medicare help cover specific services: Medicare Part A helps cover inpatient care in hospitals, skilled nursing facilities, hospice, and home health care.

Most people don’t have to pay a premium for Medicare Part A because they or a spouse paid Medicare taxes while working in the United States. Typically, Medicare enrollment in Part A is automatic for those who have paid the taxes and are receiving retirement benefits. However, if you are not currently receiving retirement or disability benefits, you need to enroll in Medicare Parts A and B on your own with the Social Security Administration (phone 1-800-772-1213, website ssa.gov). If you don’t get premium-free Part A, you may still be able to enroll, and pay a premium.

Medicare Part B is Medical Insurance. It helps cover doctors’ and other health care providers’ services, outpatient care, durable medical equipment, and home health care. It helps cover some preventive services. Medicare beneficiaries who reach the Medicare eligibility age or who are eligible for another reason, must choose whether they enroll in Medicare Part B. Medicare Part B requires a monthly premium that runs around $100. per month for most beneficiaries.

Medicare beneficiaries can opt for Original Medicare, Original Medicare with a Supplemental/MediGap policy, or a Medicare Advantage plan.

A Medicare Supplement or Medigap policy is sold by private insurance companies to fill ‘gaps’ in Original Medicare coverage; works only with Original Medicare; covers Part A and Part B cost sharing (coinsurance, copayments, or deductibles) for beneficiaries in Original Medicare. It does not cover Medicare benefits (Medicare Part

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A and Part B cover these), but works with Original Medicare coverage when it does pay the Part A and Part B coinsurance and deductibles.

Some Medigap policies cover benefits not covered by Part A or Part B or Original Fee-for-Service Medicare, such as extra days of coverage for inpatient hospital care or foreign travel emergency care.

Medicare Part C is also known as Medicare Advantage Plans. Medicare Advantage Plans offer combined Medicare Part A and Part B coverage through private companies that are under contract with Medicare. Sometimes Medicare Part D (prescription coverage) is also included.

There is an annual maximum out-ofpocket (MOOP) limit on total enrollee cost sharing (deductibles, coinsurance, and copayments) for Part A and Part B services. MedAdvantage Plans may also cover extra benefits not covered

by Original Fee-for-Service Medicare.

Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) plans are the most common type of Medicare Advantage Plans, but other options are available. Generally, anyone who meets the Medicare eligibility requirements can enroll in a Medicare Advantage Plan. Additional options include: Preferred Provider Organization (PPO) plans, Private Feefor-Services (PFFS) plans, and Special Needs Plans (SNP). Medicare enrollment in a Medicare Advantage Plan typically requires payment of a monthly premium in addition to the Medicare Part B premium. However, some Medicare Advantage Plans will pay the Medicare Part B premiums of any beneficiary enrolled in the plan.

You can generally qualify for a Medicare Advantage Plan if you meet the following conditions: You have Medicare Part A and Part B coverage.

You live in an area serviced by the plan you want to join.

You do not have End-Stage Renal Disease (permanent kidney failure requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant) Medicare Part D is a prescription drug plan that is offered through private companies that are under contract with the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid services. An additional monthly premium is typically required for Medicare Part D coverage. Medicare enrollment in Part D can be obtained as a supplement to an Original Medicare plan, as a supplement to a Medicare Advantage Plan, or as part of a Medicare Advantage Plan. Medicare Advantage Plans that include prescription drug benefits are often referred to as MA-PD plans. Approximately 80% of Medicare Advantage Plans include prescription drug coverage. Medicare eligibility requirements are the same for Part D as for any other Medicare policy.

How do you apply?

Most people receive automatic Medicare enrollment in Part A, Part B, or both once they reach their 65 th birthdays.

If you receive retirement benefits from the Social Security Administration (SSA) or the Railroad Retirement Board (RRB), you will almost certainly be automatically enrolled in Medicare Parts A and B on the first day of the month in which you turn 65. Automatic enrollment will also occur on the first day of the 25 th month you receive disabil-

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ity payments, if you collect disability benefits from either the SSA or the RRB. Under Medicare guidelines, you may also be automatically enrolled if you receive a diagnosis of Lou Gehrig’s disease.

If you would like to be enrolled in Medicare and were not automatically enrolled, you should plan to complete your Medicare application during your Initial Enrollment Period in order to avoid late enrollment penalties. Your Initial Enrollment Period refers to the seven-month period surrounding the month you turn 65. This includes the three months prior to your 65th birthday, the month of your birthday, and the three months after your 65th birthday. If you are automatically enrolled in Medicare Parts A and B, and you do not wish to keep the Part B Medicare policy, you will need to notify Medicare immediately. Failure to do so may result in a monthly bill for premiums.

For assistance determining your Medicare eligibility or for help with Medicare enrollment, contact your local social security office.

Medicare Annual Election Period (AEP) October 15 through December 7th 2012 is the AEP for 2013.

For those wanting to change their MedAdvantage plan from one plan to another or change from a Medi Gap/ Medicare Supplement Policy to a MedAdvantage policy, they need to enroll in the desired 2013 plan during the October 15th through December 7th, 2012 Annual Election Period. This is also the time to change Part D plans.

Do I have to Sign up for Medicare?

Today, many people are working through their late 60’s and early 70’s. If one has Medical coverage through their employer and the coverage is at least equal to the coverage one would have on Medicare, then it is considered credible coverage and one can delay going on Medicare Part A and/or Part B until they no longer have credible coverage from their employer. It is important to make sure that their prescription coverage is also considered credible coverage, as well.

All information contained in this article can be found on the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid’s (CMS) website, the America’s Health Insurance Plans (AHIP) website and CMS and AHIP publications. http://www.cms.gov/ http://www.cms.gov/ Katheryn Evans, with Strategic Sound Solutions, Inc., has over 20 years experience in the insurance and financial services industry where she has been a consistent Chairman’s Club producer and responsible for training field staff and managers for a Fortune 500 company, on a national level. This experience and the over 6,000 clients she has served have given her ample experience and knowledge to lend to her clients as a consultant and broker.

As a broker who is contracted with numerous companies, she is able to search for the most appropriate Medicare/health and/or life insurance benefit solutions to meet your needs. She works together with her clients to tailor a plan to fit their specific situations.

Keep in mind that it does not cost clients anything to utilize a broker’s services; brokers are compensated by the insurance company. It costs the clients the same amount whether they call a company directly or have a broker go through the options that are available. It could cost money if one does not utilize the service of a qualified, knowledgeable broker; if you chose the wrong plan.

You are invited to contact Katheryn to have an initial conversation to assess your needs. She can be reached by email at kevans@StrategicSoundSolutions.com or at 253.861.2959 or 206.229.3999.

Encore Life © | Fall 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 19

Special Series Introducing No #4: The Positive No

By Stephanie Owens

This article is the final in a four part series detailing the 4 No’s. The 4 No’s are simple, practical solutions to gracefully say no in any situation without creating drama or conflict. Introducing No #4: The Positive No.

Some “no’s” require a little more time and attention to detail. The Positive No is ideal for your most important relationships or significant requests.

William Ury, world-renowned negotiator and author, developed this technique. In his book, The Power of a Positive No, William Ury describes how to say no effectively and respectfully. Focus on what you’re saying YES to rather than on the NO. The 3 parts of a Positive NO are: The First YES—Yes to your values and interests.

The NO—Sets a clear limit The Second YES—Yes to the Relationship with an invitation to find a mutually agreeable solution.

The Positive No is ideal for your most important relationships or significant requests.

For example, let’s say your good friend asks you to be in her destination wedding. You don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you really can’t afford to make the trip. The Positive No would sound like this: “I’m struggling with the costs involved in going to Hawaii for your wedding. I value you and our friendship, and would never want to hurt you. I also have to think of my family’s finances. I’m so sorry to say I won’t be able to be in your wedding. I hope you know I stand beside you in spirit. What else can I do to show you I care?

Once you’ve delivered your Positive No, STOP TALKING AND LISTEN!!!!! Hearing what is driving the other person’s requests may uncover new solutions. Sometime just taking the time to listen shows you care.

Another crucial component of the Positive No is The Essence Sentence. This simple sentence captures the essence of your yes and can be repeated to reinforce your boundary.

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Using the Hawaii wedding scenario, The Essence Sentence could be, “I want to show you how much I value our friendship. What else can I do to show you I care?”

The Essence Sentence also serves an important second purpose. By repeating it, you don’t add any new information others can use to twist your words or distract from your original no.

If the other person simply cannot accept your no it may be best to regroup. Simply state, “We might not be able to figure it out right now. Let’s both take some time to think about more ideas or solutions and talk about it again.

You don’t have to continue the conversation if no progress is being made toward a solution or the other person becomes surly. Ultimately, people who do not respect your No’s or are verbally abusive are not people you need to surround yourself with any way.

For more information about the 4 No’s (and more tools to say no, set better boundaries and create joy in your life) visit Stephanie Owens’ at www.learnhowtosayno.com.

Stephanie Owens is a coach, speaker and trainer. She teaches her clients how to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be to create a life they fall in love with. She coaches purpose-driven, high-performance people to achieve not only success but deep personal satisfaction. A small business owner for over a decade, Stephanie blends her experience in the business world with a Masters in Counseling.

Whether coaching privately with clients or speaking to groups, Stephanie teaches participants how to stop fear from sabotaging success and unlock their full potential.

Stephanie is a recurring guest host on the radio show Chat With Women. and author of a book entitled Be A No Pro: How to Say No, Set Better Boundaries and Reclaim Your Joy. Stephanie lives a peaceful happy life with her husband and two wonderful children.

Click on the website image to be directed to her site.

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Get Busy Living: Learning To Honor And Respect Ourselves And Our Lives

By Paul Zohav One of the characters in the movie Shawshank Redemption said something that still sticks with me today, “Get busy living or get busy dying.”

No matter what we once thought as children, human development did not end with achieving our adulthood. Science has shown that growth is a life-long process beginning with birth and completing with death. (So far as we know.)

In Erik Erikson’s classic text on human growth and development, Childhood and Society, we learn there are eight distinct stages of human growth and development and the life tasks that need to be accomplished at each stage of life.

For example, in “Young Adulthood” (ages 18 to 35) the task of new and young adults is called Intimacy and Solidarity vs. Isolation. Newly independent from his or her family environment, the task of a young adult is to find companions, love, establish new and satisfying relationships, and explore early career choices. Failing to create new relationships and establish their first careers, young adults may grow distanced from others feeling as if they are living in a shrinking world.

Middle Adulthood (ages 35 to 55) is the stage of Generativity vs. Self-Absorption or Stagnation. Middle age stage adults are tasked with stabilizing family and social environments, perpetuating and contributing to their society. Failing to do so, a middle adult may become stagnant and self-absorbed.

The Late Adulthood stage (ages 55 to death) is called Ego integrity vs. Despair, with the primary tasks of becoming whole and complete with life as lived, or be left feeling incomplete, as if something important is still missing, asking “Why am I still alive, and for what?”

In terms of human growth and development, a “successful” senior will eventually regard their life as a “doughnut,” where others may recall their life more as a series of “doughnut holes.”

So how may seniors achieve Ego Integrity and avoid Despair?

Rocket science is not required. Achieving Ego Integrity means essentially listening to others and being listened to by them. Despair becomes wholly preventable when seniors share their lives with others and become a Living Legacy for self, family and community.

As a professional chaplain and counselor, I witnessed seniors achieve a mature sense of self and identity through reviewing their lives as lived, telling and reliving their unique experiences and recording them for enduring posterity.

They have amazing and inspiring stories to tell, and it has been my privilege to be one of their listeners.

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But there is a growing problem in today’s society: a dislocation and isolation of seniors from their families, communities and themselves.

Not so very long ago, seniors were embraced, surrounded and supported by family, church, and community as a matter of course. There were many formal and informal opportunities to share their life stories and wisdom. Today, seniors often find themselves moving away from their families and their home communities into retirement villages and assisted living facilities communities, dislocated from lifelong roots that once gave their lives content and meaning.

You can witness the impact that isolation and dislocation has had on seniors by entering the common rooms in any retirement or assisted living community and hearing the utter silence of too many elders sitting and staring into space, waiting for someone to listen.

For Late Adults Ego Integrity, becoming whole and complete is getting harder to come by; I have seen Despair on the rise.

To add insult to injury, I have heard too many young adults say, “I never want to get old. Kill me before I get old.”

What is wrong with this picture?

The challenge? Listening.

Our human growth and envelopment challenge is find new ways to reengage generations that once grew and lived side-by-side. We will need to encourage renewed communal interaction, communication, and listening; we need to reestablish the links of listening between the generations, where human experience is shared once again, and where elders can grow to completion, and achieve Ego Integrity by sharing their lives and stories with us all.

A Living Legacy LifeBook can be part of the solution.

From my experiences as a professional chaplain and counselor I designed and published the Living Legacy LifeBook as one of the ways to assist seniors achieve “Ego Integrity and avoid Despair while reknitting family, generations, and community.

The Living Legacy LifeBook comes in an easy workbook format, in an expandable loose-leaf binder, with questions and spaces for answers. While it can be worked alone, it is intended to be worked in the presence of another person: spouse, adult child, grandchild, church youth, other senior, or any other listening human being.

To order copies of the Living Legacy LifeBook please go to: Livinglegacy-lifebook.com. To learn more contact: Paul Zohav M. Ed. at Livinglegacylifebook@gmail.com

Certified Professional Counselor at Relationship Literacy LLC. , Ordained Chaplain Domestic Violence counselor, Relationship and self management Coach Author of the Living Legacy LifeBook (livinglegacy-lifebook.com) designed to support elders process a lifetime of memories, gain respect and honor for the life they have lived, and leave a Living Legacy that for future generations. Story teller and folk musician. He has masters degrees in Counseling from the Univ. of Virginia and Religious studies from Gratz College in Philadelphia.

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21 Stress-Free Holiday Ideas!

By Joyce Joneschiet, Editor

When

Thanksgiving comes, have everyone draw a name of the one they’ll give a Christmas gift to.

Have a budget for how much you’ll spend on each gift and stick to it. Have out of town family post their wish list on popular retail sites, such as Target or Amazon, etc. Make a list of all the gifts you’ll get before you leave to go shopping. Put them into categories such as toys, clothes & electronics so you won’t shop aimlessly. If you dislike addressing your cards, have a party where everyone brings over their cards & address books and you can turn the chore into a fun evening. Put on a favorite CD, light the tree and open a bottle of wine or have hot cocoa. Wrap gifts early & write in pencil or with a sticky note who it’s for. Then add ribbon & tags later. Or find out if your store offers free gift wrapping. Otherwise, many non-profits have a gift wrapping booth where you can help out a charity while having someone else take care of this. For last-minute gifts, have a few boxes of candy, jars of local jam or honey, & bottles of wine handy to give out when someone comes to the door with an unexpected gift. Another option instead of gift-giving is to provide an experience or special moment instead. What if you gifted time with you such as breakfast at a fancy hotel or a holiday show? This type of gift will be treasured more than a wrapped one. If you’re traveling to a loved one’s home, travel light by bringing gift cards. Or shop online and have the gifts shipped directly to your destination so you won’t have to bring them. Stock up ahead of time – Pantry:

stock up on pantry goods early so you won’t have to make extra trips to the store. Have the basics for baking on hand, like flours (unbleached white & whole wheat), white & brown sugars, baking soda & powder, butter, vanilla, yeast, and chocolate. Wrapping

Supplies: stock up on wrapping essentials early like extra wrapping paper, tags, ribbon & bows, gift bags & tape. The leftovers can always be used next year. Then plan on buying after Christmas when they’re on sale so you’re all ready for next year! Take

it easy on yourself with decorating and just pick one color and run with it. For example: Pick red and have red bows on the tree and red candles on the mantelpiece. Or use blue or white for a peaceful, tranquil look. Look at your calendar now and schedule in times for yourself for personal time, whether it’s going to

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a movie, spa or lunch with your favorite book. Take a starlit nighttime stroll to see your neighborhood’s holiday lights or take a drive. Call now & purchase the tickets or schedule with your manicurist to solidify that time away. Read a Christmas story to your children or grandchildren. Take a moment to look around you at all your blessings with gratitude and savor the memory. Pull out a favorite cookie recipe (like a simple sugar cookie – here’s one from Martha Stewart), make the dough ahead and add some new variations to it (like jam, zest or dried fruit & nuts), then freeze them to bake later when you need a quick gift or potluck dessert. Most of the work will already be done. When preparing for a holiday party, plan on making some of the food ahead of time & shop early.

Set the table the morning of so if unforeseen delays happen, you’ll be ahead of the game. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from guests – they’d love do a small task & take coats or take a drink order. You don’t have to make all the food yourself for parties and holiday dinners – it’s ok to order that pumpkin pie from the bakery or that appetizer tray from the deli. It’s even ok to order the whole dinner from your favorite restaurant! As the best Christmas gift to yourself, why not have a cleaning service help you get your house sparkling and shining while you tackle more important things! If friends or family are too busy to get together, why not set a date for after New Year’s? You’ll be more relaxed then and you’ll have something to look forward to after all the presents have been opened. Take some time to remember the sacred and spiritual side of this holiday season. Whatever your faith is, don’t forget to acknowledge the meaning it holds for you and observe it accordingly. If you’re wondering what you should tip those that have dutifully served you and yours, here’s a handy tip guide from Martha Stewart: Click here. When you’re out shopping or just running your normal errands, make sure to take along a positive attitude. You can set everyone around you grumbling or lift everyone’s spirits. Most of all – be happy with whatever you accomplish. Remember that your Christmas efforts are “good enough.” Decide in advance how much you’ll do and stick with it! Don’t say “yes” to events & obligations that will bring unneeded stress and time away from what is the most important way you want to spend the holidays. You can say, “I already have a commitment at that time.” You don’t have to say that commitment is for yourself or your family time. Guard the moments you have set aside and make them precious! Take notes of what worked this year and what you might do differently next year. Keep a journal or notebook of all your notes, shopping list, addresses, and recipes in one place so you’re not looking everywhere next year. Write down YOUR secrets for a safe, sacred and stress-free Christmas!

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Encore Careers This is the first installment of our new column for business owners, entrepreneurs & job seekers.

Who Are The Owners In Your Company?

By Mel West

Often times as I work with private businesses and credit unions with organizational development and leadership strategies, many times the conversations evolve into the owner or CEO’s concern that their employees don’t care as much as they do. In many cases, this is often long time key employees or family members identified to take over the ownership. It is obvious these employees don’t have as much invested in the business through financial contributions, sweat equity, etc., but is it true that they don’t care?

As we continue our discussion, we often identify that they see their employees as being more like “renters” or someone who approaches work as just a job, points the finger at someone else when there is a problem, doesn’t go beyond their job description (if they have one), and when they do, they want a raise. What they want is an “owner” or someone that takes full responsibility even when it isn’t part of their job description, works extra hours without pay, and holds others accountable to do the same. Essentially, they want someone who thinks and acts just like them, without the title, pay, or the small perks of being the top dog. This is a great dream, but in reality, it will never happen for most, but can we do something to create better employee engagement and help the “top dog” feel better along the way? I think so and to get started, here are a few simple questions and suggestions to get us started.

Do you know what is holding them back or preventing them from making the transition from renters to owners? In many cases, you probably haven’t identified the three to five key accountabilities this person needs to accomplish in the position to be successful. Your target is always moving, so their target is always moving.

Complete a job benchmark to identify the three to five key accountabilities necessary for success in this position and then communicate it to them.

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Do they need to change their lenses and look at the job differently? A great place to start is to ask them this question, “If your name was at the bottom of the check, would you (Fill in the blank)?” Most likely, they would make a different decision. This is a hard lesson for most because they only see what they are paid. They just need a different set of lenses to look through. These lenses can be changed by helping them understand your philosophy to decision-making and the cost associated with their decisions.

Do you give them a voice and allow for their input? Everyone wants to feel valued and a part of something bigger, but by ignoring their suggestions and feedback shuts down innovation and collaboration. Recognizing them for their input and small improvements will motivate them to take more ownership and create solutions instead of dumping their problem on you to solve. In fact, a great approach to start the process is to have them bring at least two solutions for every problem they bring to you. When they bring you a problem and at least two solutions, discuss their recommendation and help them make the “right decision.” Not only will this prevent them from just dumping, which you will end up solving or carrying around, it provides an opportunity to educate them and develop their skills.

You are at the top because you want to be in control, but if you delegate better, you will have more control, less work, and worrying to do. If you treat your employees like renters, don’t be surprised if they act like renters. Help them fully understand how they fit into the bigger picture, the authority they have, and educate them on how they can do more. Remember, engaged and satisfied employees are always better performers. When employees feel appreciated and recognized by their leaders, they seek out opportunities to do good things for the company and its customers, which directly affects the bottom line.

Mel West is President of West Business Concepts, Inc., a performance-consulting firm in Tacoma, WA. He has a passion for helping people succeed both in their personal and professional lives. He relates his work to being in the logistics business, where he helps his clients identify and achieve success, so they can go from where they are to where they want to be.

Mel brings over 20 years of management experience with leadership roles in the financial services industry, manufacturing, and the military that includes operations, marketing, sales, finance, human resources, compliance, and quality management. His insight provides a unique perspective and expertise to help companies increase their revenues, improve their profitability, and strategically lead their organizations more effectively through his hand on approach to coaching and consulting.

An advocate for Credit Unions and the members they serve, Mel provides Credit Union consulting services as a CU Breakthrough Consultant with the National Federation of Community Development Credit Unions and with his company, West Business Concepts. Mel’s Credit Union experience includes roles as the Sr. Loan Trainer and District Manager at Boeing Employees Credit Union ($7 Billion), Vice President of Operation and Compliance Officer at Woodstone Credit Union ($94 Million), and Executive Vice President and Compliance Officer at American Lake Credit Union ($45 Million).

A Past President of the Pierce County Chapter of Credit Unions, he was honored with the 2009 Credit Union Professional of the Year Award. He also holds his Credit Union Compliance Expert (CUCE) designation and is a graduate of Western CUNA Management School. He earned his Masters of Business Administration (MBA) from St. Martin’s University and his Bachelors of Science Degree (BS) in Workforce, Education, and Development from Southern Illinois University Carbondale. Mel is a U.S Navy Submarine Veteran. He has also been recognized with several other career distinctions and certifications.

Mel can be heard every Tuesday on KLAY 1180 from noon to 1:00 p.m. as he helps to co-host BIZTECH TALK, a radio show focused on discussing the latest in local, regional, and national business and technology trends, which are here today and coming tomorrow.

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Asking for What You Need

By Mary Lloyd Getting what you need is a lot more complicated than we want to believe–at least if you’re doing it right. There are only two main pieces to the process: knowing what you need and being effective in asking for it. But both of them are full of wrong turns, dead ends, and landmines if you aren’t paying attention.

Knowing What You Need Easy as pie, right? Not really. Typically, we ask for what we want or what we think we need rather than getting to the real solution. Wants are infectious. I want an iPhone 5. I want the newest Kindle Fire. I want to go home for Christmas. What do I need? To be connected to those I love? To stay up to date with technology? To feel successful because I can buy the latest toys?

Taking the time to think about what you really need instead of what might solve the problem will improve the situation a lot faster. I need more exercise than I am getting. I also need more order in my surroundings than the person I live with. But I also need to feel like an equal with him. I finally had an “Aha!” about all that yesterday. I will get what I need if I do more of the housework than is “fair” as long as I understand that I need to and that what he contributes is a whole different piece of what’s going on around here.

Knowing what you need is a life skill we should be working on until the day we die. It’s not the sense of ”privilege” that comes with being a victim of some sort. (Take your pick…survivor of some horrible experience, survivor of some dread disease…member of an abused class. They all translate into the same thing over time–an expectation that you are somehow special because of that previous experience and that others should bend over backwards for you.)

Asking for what you need Asking is not a slam dunk either. If your request is laced with a sense of entitlement, whoever you’re asking is not going to see it the same way you do. If it’s vague, that person is not going to see it at all.

Yesterday, I was playing in the garden with my sweetie. It was hot, and we were doing significant physical work. At one point, I was sweating enough that it ran into my eyes. It burned like crazy–something I typically do not experience.

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I needed to make it stop. Since I tend to over-garb for gardening, I had on two sets of gloves (and I still manage to more dirt under my fingernails than any gardener I know). So I asked my sweetheart to please dab my eyes with the tail of my shirt to get rid of the sweat. Nothing happened for what seemed like a very long time.

I made the same request again. And waited again. Finally, he took off his own gloves and helped me out. I didn’t ask him why he didn’t move faster. Part of me wanted to think that he just didn’t care. But the truth is far more likely to be that he didn’t understand.

If I’d been more complete in how I asked, I probably would have gotten a better response. Instead of “please dab my eyes”, I needed to make sure he understood why I needed him to do it. (Namely that I couldn’t see and could not get both sets of gloves off easily.) Or I could have asked him to help me take my gloves off instead. That would have also gotten me what I needed because then I could fix the actual problem myself.

What did I need? A way to get the sweat out of my eyes. What did I need from my partner? Either doing that directly or helping me so I could do it myself. I didn’t phrase it that way and that made the outcome feel far less supportive.

That’s a small example. Knowing how to ask is not a small thing though. Couch it so that the other person understands why you are asking for help instead of doing it yourself. If you can, offer options. If you need help immediately, make that clear.

There’s another piece to effective asking, too. If you don’t get what you need, ask again. If you don’t get it from the first person you asked, consider asking someone else. Asking doesn’t mean you will automatically get it (but it sure improves your odds over expecting someone else to just guess what you need). Asking is a step in the process that sometimes needs to be done more than once.

Know what you need and then ask for it. Ask the right person. Ask again if you need to. And keep at it until you get what you need.

And let go of the nonsense that someone else should just figure it out for you and give it to you on a platter.

Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement: Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love. She is committed to offering better resources for those over 50 and started Mining Silver LLC in 2007 to accomplish that.

Before leaving the corporate world, she was a natural gas industry executive. For more, see her website, www.mining-silver.com. Click on the book to order Mary’s great new book and the web icon to go to her website!

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Spiritual Corner What Have You Been Thinking?

By Darvi Mack Did you know the mind is the primary factor that establishes your destiny?

It is not your circumstances or the things externally that determines your future. What determines your future is what is inside you, in your mind. It is the thoughts that you think that are running in your mind whether consciously or unconsciously that is governing your life.

Henry Ford the famous American industrialist, the founder of the Ford Motor Company said “Whether you think you can, or you can’t---you’re right.” My understanding of Ford’s idea is that it’s what you think that creates your reality. You can or you can’t - it’s totally up to you.

You’ve probably heard advice that says if you want a different life, change your environment. I don’t disagree with that piece of advice. However, changing your environment or any external circumstance has no lasting affect if one doesn’t change the thoughts that they are thinking.

You see this all the time in the entertainment world where stars with mega money living in beautiful environments act foolishly. They changed their environment but not their way of thinking.

In Romans 12th chapter and 2nd verse in the Bible, the Apostle Paul talks about being transformed or changed by the renewing of the mind. He is exhorting believers to change their thinking to God’s way and not the world or the culture. By changing the thoughts they think.

Whatever you focus your thoughts on persistently and consistently is what will show up in your life - in brief the Law of Attraction.

If you desire something different in your life then start by considering letting go of some old thinking that has taken root in your thought processes and has created less than you truly desire. Thoughts like “I can’t,” “I’m tired,” “I don’t have enough,” “God why are you punishing me?” “This pain is killing me.” I could go on but you get the point.

Believe it or not there are numerous thoughts passing through your mind and creating circumstances in your lives. Thoughts are energy and draw “like” energy to you. Some thoughts are buried in your subconscious mind and you are unaware of the thoughts you are thinking and yet they are still impacting your life.

Take a look around you. What you see and consistently experience is a result of your thoughts. If you are see ing and experiencing anything you don’t want, then change your thinking. You’ve heard the proverb, “As a man thinks so is he,” which is saying we become what we think and I take it a step further and tell you that you get what you think. (Proverbs 23:7) If you focus your thoughts on sickness you will get sick. That is why when society talks about the flu I immedi30 | Encore Life © | Fall 2012 | encorelifemag.com

ately start thinking I am not participating in the flu epidemic this year. When folks mention it to me, I simply affirm I feel great and immediately change the subject and continue to eat right and get good rest.

Whatever are your dominate thoughts is what is being drawn into your life. I’m not saying deny circumstances or situations. I am saying get your focus off of what you don’t want and on to what you do want.

If you desire the abundant life, count your blessings, be grateful for what you do have and keep your thoughts on those things that are good, lovely and of a good report and on what you want and off of what you don’t want. We transform our lives by renewing our mind. Change your thinking and you will change (transform) your life. Pay attention to what you are thinking and self correct. Remember you are what you think. .

Want to explore one on one private or group coaching support with Darvi? Send an email to darvimack@comcast.net and let’s explore how I might best support you.

Darvi Mack, Speaker, Minister, Success Achievement Mentor, Breakthrough Coach and Author earned MA, BS, Certified NLP, Dream Coach, Spiritual Coach and Trainer takes your inspiration and turns it into practical wisdom so you achieve success and make the positive impact you were uniquely designed to make.

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Fraud – Common Scams Targeting Older Adults

By Steve Geertz, CPA, CFE My last article addressed why older adults are specifically targeted by scams and some red flags identifying scams.

This time, my focus will be on two common scams.

They may seem outlandish and many of you will say, “There’s no way that would happen to me. That’s just plain stupid!” Yes, it appears that way, but until you’re dealing with the scammers and realize how good these people are, it really is hard to judge. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Sweepstakes & Lottery Scam Probably the most common scam out there is the lottery or sweepstakes scam (sweepstakes scam). In the sweepstakes scam, the victim receives a phone call from someone who says something like, “I’m Joseph Smith, VP at You Win Sweepstakes. You’ve just won two million dollars and a new Mercedes, congratulations! How do you feel Mrs. Johnson?” Mrs. Johnson, the victim, naturally feels great and is excited to hear that she is suddenly a millionaire. Mr. Smith follows-up with, “All you need to do is wire $1,000 to us to cover the taxes (or insurance, or shipping, or storage, or whatever) and I will personally deliver your car and check for two million dollars.”

Continuing with the scam, Mrs. Johnson sends the scammers $1,000. Mrs. Johnson then receives a second call asking for another $500 for funds transfer fees or some other “excuse”. These calls will continue as long as Mrs. Johnson sends money or may send money.

If you read my last article, you should notice that this likely is a scam. First, the victim received an unsolicited phone call from someone she didn’t know. Secondly, the victim won a sweepstakes that she didn’t even enter.

Third, and probably the biggest clue of them all, the victim was asked to wire (could be via a Western Union, Money Gram, Green Dot card or any of the other non-traditional means of funds transfer) money. The caller even may be asking all sorts of personal questions in order to build a profile for future calls. Keep in mind that one of the objectives of any scammer is to build rapport and trust, so beware of strangers with candy -- so to speak.

The best way to avoid becoming a victim in these instances is not to answer the phone. You should have caller ID and should only answer if you recognize the caller. If you do happen to answer, recognize that it is a scam and hang-up. Once the scammer has succeeded, you can bet you will get all sorts of phone calls and offers for new sweepstakes.

Grandparent Scam The grandparent scam takes several forms and has evolved over the years, but in each case, it normally involves someone the victim knows who is in some kind of trouble and needs your money to get out of trouble.

The traditional grandparent scam works something like this. The victim receives a phone call (or an e-mail, which is becoming more common) from a police officer in Canada, Mexico, the Netherlands or some town in Kansas (wherever). “Hello, I’m Deputy Jones from the British Columbia Mounted Police and we have your grandson here in custody. He apparently got in with the wrong crowd and we picked him up. He told me to call you rather than his parents, because he trusts you and he really didn’t do anything wrong. He seems like a good kid to me, but just seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought I would bypass our normal system and call you to

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see if you could help him out. We’ve had a busy night and have all sorts of drug users and violent criminals here tonight and I’d hate to see him spend the night in jail with that sort of riff raff. What I need for you to do is send $5,000 bail to us, so we can release him.”

Like the sweepstakes scam, some of the typical red flags are evident. First, the victim received an unsolicited phone call. In this case though, the caller makes the victim think that it was reasonable to get the call because the grandson told the caller to contact the victim. Secondly, the victim was asked to wire funds. And, third, it is urgent that the funds get wired in order for your grandson to avoid spending time in jail with the real criminals. Another sign in this case, is that the caller identified himself as law enforcement asking for money over the phone.

That should not happen.

The best way to prevent from being scammed in this instance is to call your grandson (or make up the name of a fictitious grandson and ask the caller about this fake grandson). Chances are your grandson is sitting at home playing on his computer or watching television. If you don’t get a hold of your grandson, contact his parents. Bottom line, do not send money. It’s a scam.

I mentioned earlier that this scam has evolved over the years. Some variations include receiving a call from someone claiming to be your grandchild with a bad phone connection; a friend who is travelling overseas, but is stranded because he was mugged; or an e-mail from a friend saying she is stuck at the airport because her flight was cancelled. You can probably come up with others.

The Sweepstakes and Grandparent scams are only two of many common scams. You may have encountered these or know someone who has. Some of you may even be victims. Oddly enough, some very intelligent people are victimized because they think they are too smart to be scammed. It is important that you talk with one another.

You never know, you may end up preventing a scam.

Steve Geertz, CPA, CFE Principal, BG & Company LLC Steve has nearly 20 years of experience, including over four years of “Big 4” public accounting and over fourteen years of private industry and consulting. His business currently handles forensic accounting and fraud related investigations as well as general corporate finance, accounting and business consulting. He is also a volunteer with the AARP Fraud and Scams Hotline and educates seniors on how to protect themselves.

Steve is a member of: American Institute of Certified Public Accountants (AICPA) Association of Certified Fraud Examiners (ACFE) Association of Certified Fraud Examiners – Pacific Northwest Chapter Washington State Society of CPAs (WSCPA)

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A MOVING STORY

By Sue McGuire

Article Two: A Floor Plan for Jane and Tom

Last week, Jane and Tom Fletcher selected their retirement community. Their next step? How to manage their move without children around to help. They decided to hire a move management company to provide assistance in all phases of the move. First, Cheryl, their project manager from the move management company, drew up a detailed, to-scale floor plan of Jane and Tom’s new two-bedroom apartment. This way they could more easily decide which furniture to take with them.

The scale drawing included the location of windows, phone jacks, cable TV hookups, and wall heaters. The drawing noted the height of switches and thermostats to avoid blocking them with furniture. The scale drawing also illustrated all jogs and jags in the walls.

Cheryl worked with Jane and Tom to develop a “wish list” of furniture. Then Cheryl measured each item on the wish list, and made templates to place on the floor plan. Cheryl’s company used magnetic templates with a magnetic board under the floor plan.

When placing the furniture templates on the floor plan, Cheryl left enough room for each piece to be functional.

With the dresser in the corner, could Jane easily stand in front of it and open each drawer? Did the position of the coffee table make it difficult to settle on the couch? Could a friend using a walker navigate through the living

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room? For Tom’s recliner, Cheryl measured the chair at its full, out-stretched length.

As Cheryl prepared a draft plan for Jane and Tom to review, she evaluated the current use of their furniture. Could the end table from the old living room be used as a nightstand? Could the little bookcase from the old study have a new life in the entry? The floor plan helped Jane and Tom visualize the scale of their furniture. They debated whether to bring their battered loveseat or the full-sized, more elegant couch. After looking at the floor plan, they realized the loveseat fit better in the new living room. They would simply buy a new slipcover for it. In a tough decision, they left the big desk—such a useful piece of furniture under the window in the sunroom—behind because it took up too much room in the new apartment. Instead, they chose the old secretary that had been in the family for years.

Jane and Tom had an old stereo system. Rarely used, they decided it was too bulky to move and would take up too much space on the floor plan. Their son suggested purchasing a quality small tabletop system. Jane and Tom agreed. Eliminating the stereo equipment allowed them to bring an additional bookcase to store their genealogy notebooks and decorative pieces.

Jane and Tom enjoyed the new perspective on their furniture. They arranged and rearranged the furniture templates until they were satisfied. Then, they were ready for their next step—covered in next quarter’s article— sorting through their drawers and cabinets and closets to determine just what smaller items they wanted to move with them and what they needed to store or give away.

Segue Move Management Services is a business specializing in moving seniors from their home to a retirement community. We truly enjoy easing the stressful process of a move. Segue does floor plans, packs belongings, coordinates with professional movers, unpacks, and does everything to set up the new home: organizes the kitchen, bedrooms, and living room, plugs in the lamps, sets up the computer, and hangs the artwork. The best part is our clients walk into their new home at the end of the day and say, “It looks just like home.” Segue has been in business for ten years and completed over 1100 moves in the Puget Sound region.

Sue McGuire heads up the South Sound office of Segue. She has lived and worked in the Tacoma area for 35

years. She has a Masters degree in planning and over 30 years experience providing business management, marketing, and project management services to private and public clients. Sue has run her own consulting business, managed a private-non-profit social service agency, and was marketing director for the Tacoma office of a national engineering firm.

Click on the website icon for more information.

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Moving Past Childhood Trauma

By Susan Jacobi There are topics in our society that have become socially unacceptable to talk about. Why? My guess is the pain is to deep; the shame to intense to allow hope.

Child abuse is one of those topics. It is an epidemic in this country, some may say the world. The statistics are staggering. Amid all the numbers, the pain, the shame and the denial, there is always hope. Hope that all survivors of child abuse can heal from their story. Hope that we can end this needless crime. Hope that we, as a society can break the barriers that silence us and embrace the truth of child abuse and the impact it has on all of its victims.

I am a survivor of emotional, physical and sexual child abuse. My abusers were my father and paternal grandmother. My abuse went on for the first 18 years of my life. It was severe. As a result of my abuse, I have the task of managing my depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

While I was in the beginning and even middle stages of my healing, I felt very alone. Going up to someone and telling them how defeated you feel after you have processed a memory or how your depression is so bad you can’t bring yourself to eat or stay awake, isn’t a topic that people feel safe in bringing up. The truth is every fourth girl and every sixth boy experience some form of child abuse before the age of 18. The symptoms of victimization from child abuse are so universal that there are many books written about these symptoms. Clinicians are trained to notice these symptoms in their patients.

I don’t see why shame has to control these universal feelings. It is more important to me to step out and say, “I was abused as a child and this is how it has affected me” -- knowing that by stepping out I can help one person know they are not alone in their pain and suffering. Yes, it is scary to put myself into a vulnerable place. My truth is nobody can do to me or create feelings in me that I have not already experienced. It is about taking the steps to bring this epidemic into the light. Child abuse has destroyed enough lives.

There are personal obstacles I have faced to get where I am today. Triggers have become one of my biggest nemeses. Every person has experienced a trigger. It can be the smell of burning

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leaves triggering an attachment you have to an autumn day as a child. It can be the sound of a cat meowing and the image of your childhood cat pops into your adult head. I fight triggers, almost every day, even after all my therapy and all my work to support other survivors. I decided to make a plan about how I was going to counteract my triggers, flashbacks, and memories. Through practice, I have learned to keep myself present. I have learned to focus on my current world. It is an everyday lesson.

I struggle with how my abusers ‘brainwashed’ me with their evil comments and consistent messages of “I am not good enough,” “smart enough,” etc. I remind myself how their actions were crimes in all societies. I remind myself they were liars.

I focus on the people around me in my present life and the love and support they give me. I remember how their support makes me feel loved. That is the life I want to live. It takes focus and a conscious effort, almost every day. For all survivors of child abuse, knowing they are not alone is the backbone for healing. The offender uses isolation and shame to control their victim.

When starting out on the healing journey, the survivor’s world can feel like it is crumbling. It is very hard to understand what is happening and where the intruding images in the survivor’s mind are coming from.

Let’s understand that the abuse was not nor ever will be the victims fault. In my book “Let’s Talk About Child Abuse,” I use the metaphor of a spider and his web. The spider’s web is the shame. The spider is the offender. The insect (the victim) innocently flies around and gets trapped in the camouflaged web. No matter how hard the insect tries to leave the web, the spider has the insect trapped. There is no escape in the spider’s setup. A setup the spider uses to get what it wants, in this illustration, food. Applying the metaphor to the victim and offender, the offender wants a victim. No matter how innocent the victim is; how carefree the victim is playing, the offender will always find a way to trap his victim.

It is important to remember how normal survivor’s feelings are for an abnormal event. The feelings are so normal, there is documentation in medical books of common signs of a child abuse victim.

The intense feelings from the memories of childhood abuse feel like they will last forever. Once a memory and the feelings from that memory have been processed, the sting or the pain of those feelings will soften.

After time, I found myself not being controlled by the intensity of the feelings. Having many memories re

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leased opened up space in me for new memories to form, memories from a life I chose as the healed adult survivor of child abuse, rather than my memories of abuse.

I remind survivors how brave they are for surviving the abuse and for the courage it takes to face their demons.

The survivor of child abuse has already endured the physical attack. No matter how many attacks the child survived, once an attack is over, it is over, never to happen again. Yes, it is possible and highly probable, such as in my experience, that similar attacks will happen repeatedly. What is important to acknowledge is that the child is alive. The child found a way to survive the attack.

Physical reactions survivors experience in their adult life can be traced back to the abuse. Take being touched; for a survivor of child abuse touch can be a frightening experience. Why wouldn't it be? If the child has been violated and ‘touch’ was a vehicle to assert the violation, it is normal for the body to react to being touched. The body has learned touching is dangerous. Once the survivor can distinguish a safe touch from the offender’s ‘bad’ touch, the survivor can use the new experience as an example that they are able to keep their body safe. The survivor has given their body a new experience of being safe in their body.

I know I am on the right path when people I never met before come up to me and share the impact my story had on them.

One time, after I had shared in a room with about 100 people, a woman came up to me and told me because of my courage to stand up and say, ‘I was abused as a child,’ it gave her the courage to go home and, for the first time, tell her husband of eight years, that she had been abused as a child. For that woman, sharing with her husband was a first step to healing their relationship.

Childhood abuse has a direct affect on the survivor’s adult life; in all their relationships.

Another woman thanked me for my chapter on shame in my book. She told me it

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helped her process her feelings, learning that her feelings were normal and she was not alone. Unity can heal hearts. It breaks the barriers of shame and loneliness; both are effective tools the offender uses to control their victim.

Sharing the struggles that accompany healing from child abuse reassures each survivor they are not alone in their pain or in their feelings and actions that arise from those feelings. Child abuse is at epidemic levels across the globe. We must remove the shame that victims carry so they have permission to talk about the impact that just one attack of abuse leaves on their lives.

The easiest way to remove the shame is to take one step at a time and start talking about child abuse and the scars it leaves on victims and families. I made a commitment to this work initially out of anger and the needlessness of child abuse. Child abuse is not a disease. It is not a ‘disorder.’ It is a learned behavior passed down behind closed doors through the generations within the family structure. That’s it.

The cost of the secrets affects millions, if not billions around our world. For what?

Control and selfishness and power. You can tell this is a ‘soft’ spot for me. I am one woman who was abused almost daily for 18 years. It is enough. We must create a safe environment to talk. Only by talking can we begin to open up the shame and look the devil in the eyes and say, ‘no more.’

Along with Conversations That Heal, I am creating a nonprofit, “Healing Hearts from Child Abuse.” The purpose of Healing Hearts is to provide scholarships for survivors of child abuse who are committed to reclaiming their lives through assorted therapy practices. Healing Hearts from Child Abuse is my way to give back to the survivors of child abuse.

Susan Jacobi is a radio show host, coach, author, and speaker. Her business, Conversations That Heal is passionate about education of the impact of all childhood trauma on the survivors and our society.

Susan is the founder and host of Conversations That Heal (CTHRadio). An alternative talk radio show airing every Tuesday at 12 noon on 1150 AM KKNW Seattle. CTHRadio brings in weekly guest from across the globe to discuss options for healing from childhood trauma.

Ms. Jacobi has created workshops to support everyone looking to move pass strategies that just don’t work, anymore. The first workshop, ‘3 Easy Steps to Overcoming Triggers,’ can be found at Conversations That Heal. To book Susan to present her workshop to your group or organization, contact her at Conversations That Heal.

Susan’s debut book, ‘Let’s Talk About Child Abuse’, is available on our website, Conversations That Heal. It is a short and powerful book about how child abuse affects the adult survivor and how to reclaim your life.

Please reach out to Susan for coaching if you are in pain from childhood trauma. She knows that pain. She has come back from it. To contact her for coaching options visit, Conversations That Heal.

Susan lives in the Seattle Metro with her trusting feline companion. She is the mother of two grown children.

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Your Life Matters!

Four Vital Reasons to Tell Your Life Story Are your children or grandchildren pestering you to “write those stories down”? Perhaps you feel that you don’t have time to remember your life – you’re still too busy living it! It is a daunting endeavor to write down 30, 50, 80 years of living. It is often an overwhelming task just to remember it.

Many of us think we will write our memoirs – someday. Maybe if we do something fabulous, outrageous, something which alters the course of history. Maybe if we become famous. Or maybe just when we have the time, whenever that will be. But few of us ever get around to it. And the truth is that if you don’t preserve your stories – what you did, what you thought, what you felt, what you witnessed – then your stories will die when you do. No one else can tell them like you can. No one else has your eyes, your heart or your mind.

“Well so what?” you may ask. “I’m just an average person. I didn’t do anything important.” We’ve been taught that modesty is good manners. You shouldn’t toot your own horn. Who are we to think we’re important enough to warrant a memoir? No one wants to be an egotist. Or some of us feel that we’re just cogs in a vast machine, with little personal power or meaning. We think only those with wealth, power or influence can make a difference in the world.

If these are your beliefs, you are wrong. Preserving your stories is not about ego. The meaning of your life does not depend upon fame or wealth or even “great” deeds. We make wills to ensure our possessions are passed on to those who cherish them or can use them. But possessions are just things. Stories are alive. One of the greatest gifts you can give your descendants is the story of who you are.

What were your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your griefs? What did you learn? What did you teach?

Who did you love?

At this time in history, when we as a world are grappling with global difficulties unprecedented in scope, such as terrorism, plague, ecological disasters and more, it is more important than ever that we share our stories with each other. It is vital that we know our individual stories matter. If we all knew that what we do, say, think or feel – no matter how trivial ‐‐has meaning and consequences, how would we behave differently? Would we be less inclined to apathy, despair and fear? Would we be more impelled to action, and to using our power to make this world a better place?

Stories can show us how we connect with each other, they allow us to teach and learn, they inspire us, and they can heal our divisions and our wounds.

Stories of connection show how we fit into the great tapestry of life on earth. Today many of us feel isolated and alone. Families tend to be scattered around the globe, and many of our institutions are breaking apart. We have lost touch with our past and are afraid of the future. But when we share our experiences, we are reminded that we are still connected with each other. Each of us has a place and a part and a lineage.

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Teaching stories allow us to pass along our accumulated wisdom. With technology advancing at a rate never seen before, and becoming more and more specialized, we can start to feel that we don’t understand how the world works anymore. But when we tell our stories, we are reminded that we are the keepers of wisdom – not machines or chemicals. That lessons on how to dream, how to love, how to laugh, can only be taught by example, and we are the only ones who can teach each other.

In this time of terrorism and disaster, with news media around the world blaring stories of violence and greed, heroic stories give us hope. They remind us that people can not only cope with disaster, but turn it into triumph. That ordinary people, folks just like us, have depths of courage, compassion and creativity. When we hear their stories, we are inspired to believe in the possibility of our own heroism.

Today fear, with its consequence of anger, permeates our society. Stories of hatred, revenge, and pathological madness abound. We have come to expect lies and secrets from our leaders. Our society is urgently in need of healing. In order to do so we need to forgive each other, and ourselves. Sharing our stories comforts us and reminds us that we can be whole. We walk along a path whose way stations are understanding, compassion, and finally forgiveness. We can be healed of our anger and our fear.

Connection, wisdom, inspiration and healing: these are the reasons we tell our stories. Telling our stories matters because we do.

The above is an excerpt from “Making History: how to remember, record, interpret and share the events of your life” by Kim Pearson, ©2007.

Kim Pearson is an author and ghostwriter, and the owner of writing service Primary Sources, www.primary-sources.com. She has authored 6 books of her own, including award-winning Making History: how to remember, record, interpret and share the events of your life. She has ghostwritten more than 40 non-fiction books and memoirs, telling the stories of a wide variety of people.

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CONFESSIONS OF A DIMWITTED HUSBAND

By Rick Stafford

Confession number two: For years I neglected my wife.

Part 2 When I was 56 years old I went through a very late mid-life crisis. One of our younger sons had gone away to college and for the first time I realized that I wasn’t going to live forever. I felt like I was in a free fall and had no idea where I was going to land. The pain was horrific. I would go to work and think about my son, and the pain in my stomach would come on so strong that I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance.

I went to a friend of mine who was a psychiatrist and asked him if there was any way I could get over this. He asked me a few questions about what I had spent my time doing for the last 20 years and then kind of chuckled and made a comment to the effect that he thought I would be able to get through this without any medication. He asked me when the last time was that I had taken my wife out to dinner. I answered honestly: 1985. This was in 2004. He told me to make a date with her and take her out to dinner. I made the date with her for the following Friday evening and then, during the week I started worrying that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. I worried more and more as the weekend got near and by the time Friday rolled around, I was a nervous wreck. On Friday evening I took her out to have a steak and along the way we had a wonderful time. I found out that we still had lots to talk about and the things that drew us together in 1970 were still there.

Confession number three: I thought my woman was emotional and irrational when she had strong opinions. I didn’t know that she was a compass.

Yes, I said compass. Let me complete the thought, because half an idea can be misleading. A woman is a compass and a man is a hammer. Because of her ability to feel intuitively, a woman has a sense of direction that is invaluable to every couple. It is difficult for most men to understand this sense, as they are gifted only occasionally with the kind of inspiration that women have on a regular basis. A man, on the other hand, has been trained to deny his feelings and continue forging ahead in spite of whatever he might feel. He has been goaded by bosses and coaches, belittled and scolded in an effort to get him to produce more in less time or to be victorious over someone who is trying just as hard to do the same thing to him. He has been trained to get things done.

The compass is needed to help the hammer to hammer in the right place. Hammers left to themselves often hammer in the wrong place, which is bad. Hammers also have a hard time stopping to hammer. They need to be told when to stop. If the hammer has enough sense to follow the compass, all the hammering will get done in the right places and at the proper times. Many times the compass needs to teach the hammer to read the compass as the compass often times cannot see where her own needle is pointing. Given time, the hammer can become very 42 | Encore Life © | Fall 2012 | encorelifemag.com

adept at this, almost as adept as he is at hammering. There is a vast difference in how much work some pairs of hammers and compasses can get done, as hammers and compasses which work without one another either have no direction or nothing to carry out the direction.

I remember the day that it really hit me. My wife and I were in the bedroom, having a discussion about something that we had rehashed for years. I really don’t remember what it was about. I just remember that suddenly I recognized that I had been just plain wrong. Somehow I finally saw her point of view and it was just so miserably RIGHT! Since that time I have learned to listen to her as the highest authority. I have learned that at times she has feelings that are important to the situation, but difficult to interpret. I have become integral in helping her interpret those impressions.

I attribute this success to pure dumb luck. I married a compass that was patient. Because she was patient and continued to teach me, I have learned to be more of a soul mate to her. I probably won’t ever be perfect at it (after all, I am a hammer,) but I’m not sure that the perfect soul mate exists. I married her because she was beautiful and intelligent and athletic and good. I didn’t know that her patience would be so important. I also found out that she had learned a lot of things from me (I’m not totally clueless.)

So what’s it like with her now? I have learned to crave her presence. Her touch is a treat, and whatever the years have made us look like, she still looks to me just as she did the first time I saw her in college. We still have a few issues. We will probably die with those issues. I will never be able to pay her back for all the things she has done for me. She is the mother of our children, the most precious of all our accomplishments. She has stuck by me, taught me, shown me a better way and I have always been able to count on her.

So for you guys who are new at relationships, how should you treat a woman? Like she is the Queen of Sheba, the most precious of all women, like the dust on her feet would be the nectar of the gods to you. And when you’re at a party with her, hang out with her long enough to show everyone in the place that you belong to her and that you just can’t get enough. And you ladies be patient. Don’t give up. Remember, he’s a hammer, that’s what you got him for.

While at college, Rick met and married Janice Wilson. Together they raised 7 children, all of whom graduated from Auburn High School. At present, Rick and Jan have 27 grandchildren, with 2 on the way. There are always 2 on the way.

In 2004 the Stafford’s started HomeWell Senior Care of South King County. Jan is the administrator and Rick is in charge of marketing. “It has given us an opportunity to give back to this great community. We love our clients. These people saved America in its time of need. Now it’s our turn to help them in their time of need,” says Jan. Says Rick, “We see these people as the brave 18, 19, and 20 year olds who went off to war in the 1940’s.”

If you ask Rick what his favorite thing to do is when he’s not working in the business or serving as a volunteer at church with his wife, he’ll tell you, “being with our grandkids, giving them violin lessons, rebounding for them when they’re working on their jump shot or telling them bed time stories.”

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Don’t Throw Out My Stuff!

Why our aging family members have difficulty letting go and how we can ease the process…

By Linda Kladnick, Benevia, Director of Services

There is a sentimental attachment.

That beautiful wedding dress holds the memories of their wedding day. Her husband has passed on and it is one of those things that she just cannot give up. Often you can take a piece of the dress and make a shadow box. You can also create DVD’s to hold pictures of treasured keepsakes keeping the memories but letting go of the items that contribute to clutter.

But you gave that to me!

Our older adults treasure the things we gave them. A good suggestion is to have them give those items back to the person who gave it to them letting them know that they have enjoyed it all of these years.

History and Memories With a little help from family those precious pictures can be put on a disk to share history with family. Having a family reunion where they can share with the generations of family is also a good way to preserve history. If there is no family, donating to a museum or historical society, theatre or library is often a good choice.

I might need that!

It has been said that older adults are the original green people. If you encourage them to help someone else out by donating items, you appeal to their desire to give back.

Stuff replaces someone Many people who become pack rats or hoarders do so out of loneliness. Depression makes it difficult to cope and do the normal chores. Stuff is often a misplaced companion. For this type of issue it is best to treat the depression and bring in professional organizers to assist with clearing the home.

I might be able to wear that someday!

That dress or shirt has not fit for 10 years but we are often optimistic that it will again someday! A rule of thumb here is to pack these types of items in a box and make an agreement that if they have not touched the clothing in six months they will throw it away.

I might need that paperwork!

Many seniors hold on to important paperwork for centuries. They are very fearful about parting with it. The rule of thumb for holding on to documents varies with the type of document.

I am way too overwhelmed!

A home that has been “home” for over 30 years can easily overwhelm a person when they think about moving and down-sizing. We suggest that you start small with non-emotional items. Clear a drawer a day. Set aside paperwork that needs shredding and spend 20 minutes a day sorting through it.

Linda brings over 30 years experience as a marketing director in the retirement living industry. She couples that with her expertise as a realtor with education in home staging and her designation as a certified moving professional and relocation specialist with Hansen Bros. Moving and Storage. Her previous experience enables her to understand and provide assistance in all areas of transition.

Linda has a passion for making a difference in the lives of the families we serve. Her responsibilities at Benevia include assisting clients and their families through transitions and finding the best solutions for their needs.

Linda works closely with referral sources, and manages our network of screened service providers.

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8 Red Flags and Hot Tips: How to Find a Mechanic What to look for, what to run from and what seems like it's important, but really isn't...

By Elizabeth Kriesten Online resources There are some great tools online to help you sort through the maze. Cartalk.com has a great section dedicated to reviews of shops, you just enter your zip code and can find customer reviews almost anywhere. You can also add a review to spread the word of your experience. Yelp.com is another useful site which reviews mechanics and shops. But if you live in a small town your local area may not be well-represented.

When using online reviews, don't be too put off by a few bad reviews. Every honest mechanic has a few customers where things didn't go well and they now have an enemy for life. Do be wary of every review being full of sugary compliments, that's a good indication of editing, review selection or falsified reviews. Do look for a response to negative reviews that are seeking resolution--that's a good indication that a shop is willing to work through problems, and/or savvy enough to know that their online reputation is valuable.

Hourly rate Finding the cheapest shop doesn't mean that your final repair bill will be lower. There is a standard flat-rate time that each job is rated and shops do charge accordingly. But some shops are very creative with charging for extra services that another shop would consider free. And if there is some difficult diagnosis involved, a more experienced mechanic (and likely more expensive per hour) would likely find it quicker. And a cheaper shop may make a mistake, requiring another repair... so judging by the 'rates' of a shop is not clear-cut.

But as a rule-of-thumb, no one charges as much as the dealership. And 95% of jobs are better handled by nondealership shops. So unless your vehicle is brand new or you've been told by a shop that 'only the dealership has the equipment to do this', you're much better off at an independent shop.

BBB seal of approval Don't pay attention to any BBB ratings, that's not a resource that many people turn to when they have problems, and they don't have any power to settle them. It's really just a clearinghouse where you can pay for a seal of approval to display.

ASE certifications These... can go either way. On one hand, it can show that the technicians have received training and are up to date on technology. It should mean that they are dedicated to furthering their career, and training is supported by and provided by the shop. In reality, most shops are willing to pay ASE-trained technicians a slightly higher wage, but they aren't paying for any further training or allowing the mechanics time off to go get that training. It can easily be misrepresentative. For example, a shop could employ 8 mechanics. If one of those employees gets just one of the nine available certifications, that shop can advertise itself as having an ASE seal of approval. It is definitely not a bad sign. It's just not always a meaningful one.

Frontage If your shop is somewhere that tons of cars drive by every day, there will always be another customer walking in the door. If your shop is off the beaten path, the likelihood that they are maintaining their customer base by earning their customer's trust and getting repeat business is much higher. Not all main street shops are full of liars, but driving into a shop because it's the one you see is not a good policy.

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Auto Repair Chains There are several well-known auto repair chains and they vary widely in quality. Many of them are franchises, and under independent ownership they are well-run shops. But a little too often the franchise is purchased as an investment, with no owner/operator who really knows auto repair. At which point, the shop is as good as any minimum wage, manuallabor structure. If you're lucky, you'll get some technicians who are knowledgeable and take pride in their work. If you're even luckier, they'll get well compensated and stay at the shop. Too often, quality is not rewarded and those who are skilled move on to other shops. The turn over rate is high and the shop is full of mostly young, less experienced 'mechanics'. If you need tires, then this is a good place to go. If you need other repairs... then make sure the franchise you're having work on your car has some skilled technicians. The average age of the employees is one indicator. Another is the employee turnover rate. Try talking to the mechanics and ask how long they've been at the shop. If there are eight employees and none have been there for over two years, take your business elsewhere.

Very polished PR This shows that an owner or manager understands the value of customer service. But saying you value your customers and actually valuing them can be two different things. Too much polish is just a slick sales technique.

Instead, look for signs that communication/feedback is a two-way street. If you don't feel your questions are being addressed BEFORE you authorize work done on your car, why would that be different afterwards? If the shop isn't tuned into the fact that you are uncomfortable about what you're paying for, you don't understand why you need it or is not taking the time to answer any questions you have... then that is not the shop for you.

Cleanliness This really impresses some people. It might say a lot about how you might get along with this person in a long-term relationship, but it really says nothing about your mechanic's skills or honesty. Some people are really productive with a messy desk, others like their space really clean. There isn't a correlation between being highly organized and being honest.

Real word of mouth Gold-star quality! This is when you ask everyone you know: co-workers, neighbors, friends, teammates, Twitter, Facebook, your mailman, the cashier at the corner QwikMart... if they have a mechanic that they trust. Someone will have something good to say about some shop.

When you find a place you're willing to try out, call them up, make an appointment and bring it in. If you just want an estimate and are available during the work-week, the least busy times to stop by are mid-week mornings. Anything around the weekend can get rushed. Clarify that you will not be charged for an inspection--you don't have to pay anything unless you've signed an estimate agreeing to the charge. Ask lots of questions and be willing to leave and go get a second opinion if you're not happy with the service.

How about you? What do you keep an eye out for when looking for a mechanic?

And if you want a 1-on-1 phone consultation to discuss your diagnosis and estimate (only $25!) click on the link below for more information. www.mechanicspeak.com

Working on cars/light trucks since 1991, Elizabeth Kriesten has been employed by Dodge, Lincoln-Mercury and Mercedes-Benz authorized repair facilities, the occasional large chain and even a few backyard mechanics. But her most satisfying role was as owner/operator of her own repair business.

She has been Master ASE Certified, and specializes in electronic diagnostics. She holds an Associate’s Degree in Automotive Technol­ogy and Electronics Technology as well as a Bachelor of Science in Applied Mathematics. When asked about her philosophy of customer service, she quoted Red Auerbach, “Communication isn’t what you say, it’s what they hear.” She currently is the head honcho of MechanicSpeak, a 1-on-1 phone consultation service with on-call mechanics.

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By Dr. Ethelle Lord

Person-Centered Healthcare and Alzheimer’s: What Does It Mean?

Long-term care facilities always promote their person-centered healthcare services.

Do you know what it is and does your loved one actually receive person-centered care? How do the providers know if they are delivering person-centered care? How do system managers know where they can improve the quality of care? In the case of a person living with Alzheimer’s, it makes sense to me that the family caregiver would know and feel this model when dealing with staff and management at a facility.

What makes sense and what is are often two different things.

What does patient-centered care mean?

Respect for patient’s values, preferences and expressed needs; Coordination and integration of care; Information, communication and education; Physical comfort; Emotional support; Involvement of family and friends; and Transition and continuity (Lewis, 2009, p. 1).

Because Alzheimer’s most often affects the elderly, family caregivers are older and face their own health challenges. Given this fact, daily caregiving demands in the first two stages of Alzheimer’s and considering the specialized caregiving demands of the third stage of Alzheimer’s leading to caregiver fatigue; it is realistic to expect long-term placement in the third stage of Alzheimer’s may be appropriate http://www.snocare.org/ kit/03CaregiverFatigueTimeline.pdf). The need to provide quality person-centered care for frail elders has been growing for well over a decade and continues to be a pressing topic of discussion. Person-centered care for an individual living with Alzheimer’s must also be family-focused and well managed by an Alzheimer’s Friendly Healthcare Workforce™ (Haug,

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1994; Rose, et al, 2007). Providers must create systems to track their services and be willing to face some adversity to continue improving on their delivery.

What constitutes a person-centered care facility?

Having skilled, knowledgeable and enthusiastic staff; Opportunities for involving the family caregivers; Provide the opportunity for staff to express their concerns; Staff training and education with feedback opportunities; Management support; Workplace that demonstrates mutual respect and trust; and Physically and emotionally enriched care environments (Person Centered Practice. P. 15).

Nursing home and hospital administrators must adopt a system’s approach to solving problems. Changes in the healthcare laws and funding sources are daily challenges.

The American Healthcare system is the most costly in the world and despite this fact, yet the quality of care is often below standards, even poor (Filson, et al, 2011).

The person-centered healthcare facility must enhance both access and open communication between family caregivers and management in order to improve those they serve.

Perhaps it is time to explore the Caregiver Partnership Agreement Program™ and demonstrate a state-of-the-art, person-centered healthcare model in your organization. For more information on the Caregiver Partnership Agreement Program™, contact the writer at Info@remembering4you.com today.

Conclusion: Management of long-term care must learn to deliver better person-centered care in order to be able to serve the growing baby boomer population and especially the rapidly growing number of individuals living with Alzheimer’s . The government in the United States is promoting home care for one main reason and purpose: to reduce their reimbursement costs of long-term care to providers and to put the responsibility of care on the shoulders of family caregivers. More abuse and neglect will be inevitable with such a scenario. People living with Alzheimer’s should not be treated as dispensable and family caregivers should not be left with the responsibility of specialized healthcare. Person-centered, family-focused care of our loved ones combined with a competent healthcare team and the Caregiver Partnership Agreement Program™ is the best possible combination for a great out-

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come. So, do you think your loved one who is living with Alzheimer’s is receiving person-centered care?

References: Filson, C.P., Hollingsworth, J.M., Skolarus, T.A., Clemens, J.Q., & Hollenbeck, B.K. (2011). Health care reforms in 2010: Transforming the delivery system to improve quality of care. World Journal of Urology, 29, 85-90.

Haug, M. (1994). Elderly patients, caregivers and physicians: Theory and research on health care triads. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 35, 1-12.

Lewis, S. (2009). Patient-Centered Care: An introduction to what it is and how to achieve it. Retrieved September 7, 2012 from http:// www.changefoundation.ca/docs/patient-centredcare-intro.pdf Person Centered Practice: Guide to implementing person-centered practice in your health service (2008). Retrieved Sept. 7, 2012 from http://www.health.vic.gov.au Rose, J.H., Bowman, K.F., O’Toole, E.E., Abbott, K., Love, T.E., Thomas, C., & Dawson, N.V. (2007). Caregiver objective burden and assessments of patient-centered, family-focused care for frail elderly veterans. The Gerontologist, 47(1), 21-33.

About the author:

Ethelle G. Lord, former president of the Maine Gerontological Society in the State of Maine, currently is president and professional Alzheimer’s coach offering Alzheimer’s coaching and consulting with businesses at Remembering4You.com, and is a professor of Organizational Behavior at several universities. Dr. Lord has a Doctorate of Management in Organizational Leadership from the University of Phoenix. Her 10-year experience as a family caregiver originated with her husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in Jan. 2003. In that decade she has seen a daily influx of new Alzheimer’s cases. Dr. Lord realized there is an urgent need for a change in perspective with regards to providing individual and institutional care for individuals living with Alzheimer’s. She is married to Maj. Larry S. Potter, USAF retired, and lives in Mapleton, Maine. Dr. Lord is available for presentations, training, and Alzheimer’s coaching/consulting.

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