Encore Life, Vol1, Summer

The Four “No’s” - Part Three Confessions of a Dimwitted Husband Quiz—How Well Do You Maintain Balance?

10 Red Flags You’re Being Scammed

Š Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 2

Contents features

16 The Four “No’s” - Part Three - The Invisible No 29 10 Red Flags You’re Being Scammed

relationships

13 A Husband's Mother Tongue 27 Confessions of a Dimwitted Husband (Part 1)

spirituality & health

23 Emptying Buckets 33 Quiz—How Well Do You Maintain Balance?

money & business

19 What Does Independence Really Mean?

21 Creating Products for Boarders, or Boomers? (a story of the Scion XB)

Quarterly & Annual Advertising for Encore Life Available!

Join Our Community Today!! Click Here For Details! © Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 3

Contents (Cont.) culture

31 A New Age for a New Age

relocation & travel 18

Traveling When a Loved One Has Dementia

25 A Moving Story (Part 1) 15 Four Considerations Before Hiring a Moving Company

in every issue 5 6 4 9 7 34 3 12 34

Contributors Editor’s Letter—From Me, For You Online Glimpses Letters From Our Readers On Our Bookshelf Subscription Info Advertising Info Conversations (Darol Tuttle, Elder Law Attorney) In The Next Issue...

Online Glimpses To See More Articles and Free Resources Go to our website at http://aginginplaceoptions.com © Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 4

Contributors

18

13

21

12, 33

16

23

19

25

29

31

27

15 Š Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 5

From Me, For You Just a note...

We’re excited to share some good things going on here at Encore Life Magazine. This is our first issue where we are offering a free subscription for the magazine! We’ve added some new subject matter; such as travel, relocation, relationships, spirituality, and culture. We hope to broaden our horizons as we broaden yours to help you see the beauty and possibilities of a life well lived in the second stage.

Look to us for more great all-original articles on nutrition, entrepreneurship, and ways to save money while living well. Be sure to let us know how we can improve our offerings and bring you the best news, tips and inspiration to make this your best life ever.

Also, we’re starting our own radio show in September and you can either listen live in the Seattle area or on live streaming online. We’ll send you all the details if you are a subscriber!

Make sure to have your friends and family sign up for a FREE subscription today so you can each have access to all the good stuff that is coming your way. Click here to sign up!

Here’s to your Encore Life!

Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) Publisher & Editor in Chief

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 6

On Our Bookshelf Click on the book images for more info!

The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Provence

By Helena Attlee

By Dayton Duncan, Ken Burns America’s national parks spring from an idea as radical as the Declaration of Independence: that the nation’s most magnificent and sacred places should be preserved, not for royalty or the rich, but for everyone. In this evocative and lavishly illustrated narrative, Ken Burns and Dayton Duncan delve into the history of the park idea, from the first sighting by white men in 1851 of the valley that would become Yosemite and the creation of the world’s first national park at Yellowstone in 1872, through the most recent additions to a system that now encompasses nearly four hundred sites and 84 million acres.

The authors recount the adventures, mythmaking, and intense political battles behind the evolution of the park system, and the enduring ideals that fostered its growth. They capture the importance and splendors of the individual parks: from Haleakala in Hawaii to Acadia in Maine, from Denali in Alaska to the Everglades in Florida, from Glacier in Montana to Big Bend in Texas. And they introduce us to a diverse cast of compelling characters—both unsung heroes and famous figures such as John Muir, Theodore Roosevelt, and Ansel Adams—who have been transformed by these special places and committed themselves to saving them from destruction so that the rest of us could be transformed as well.

Barefoot in Paris Travel Journal

By Ina Garten Bon appétit! Ina Garten takes you to the City of Light with this handsome journal– the perfect companion to chronicle that memorable meal, cheese shop, bottle of wine, or epicurean journey.

160 pages (partially guided, lined), 5 x 7 inches, perfect bound with an elastic band closure and removable belly band

From the Inside Flap Bestselling and enormously popular Potter author INA GARTEN takes you to the city of light with a lovely travel journal inspired by her new cookbook, Barefoot in Paris--a perfect complement to Ina's other Potter Style products. Use the gorgeous travel journal to record that memorable meal or bottle of wine, or to chronicle your own epicureal journey.

The outstanding beauty and distinction of the small towns of Provence have proved irrestibly attractive to visitors from other parts of Europe and from America for the best part of a century. From the hills and mountains of the Alps and the Luberon, to the rich vine-growing country of the Var, to the delightful resorts of the coast, these communities are special places. This illustrated survey opens in the west of the province, marked by the Roman presence and home to the lively regional centres of Arles and Uzes. In the centre of Provence - the departements of Var and Vaucluse - are such attractions as L'Isle-sur-la-Sorgue (literally, an island town), famous for its antiques markets, and Saint-Maximin, site of one of the finest Romanesque basilicas in Europe. The two "Alpes" departements, Haute-Provence and Maritimes, which sweep the north of the province and finally descend to the sea in the east, embrace the varied gems of mountainous Saint-MartinVesubie, coastal and Italianate Menton, and Grasse, perfume capital of the world. The variety of these communities is revealed in this visual and textual portrait.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 7

From You, For Us Letters From Our Readers are always appreciated and welcomed. We hope to hear from you about this issue and want to get your feedback on what you would like to see in future issues. This helps us tailor this magazine to your needs so we can provide the content that you’re looking for.

If you’ve received a benefit from a particular article or video, tell us about it! We also want to hear if there is something missing and you’d like us to add it.

We will be using this page to mention your letters and emails and we are looking forward to hearing from you!

Please send all your letters to: Aging in Place Options LLC 1911 SW Campus Dr, Ste 487 Federal Way, WA 98023

Please send your emails to: Customerservice @aginginplaceoptions.com

Watch Our Before And After Video!

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 9

Find out how easy it is to change your life for the better!

Join Host Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) from Aging In Place Options LLC as she interviews Kristina Brown from Eating Skinny on our special three part series of recorded calls! You will receive the recordings of all three calls for one low price!

Joyce Joneschiet

Kristina Brown

Including three informative teleseminars:

First Call: Aging Well You will learn: How to age well and support our elders to have a healthy and happy life.

What are the three core areas that we need to focus on to be balanced and healthy as we age?

What foods support us as we age?

What are some of the unique challenges that the elderly have to being healthy and how can we overcome them?

Second Call: Beat the Sugar Blues Learn: How to stop sugar cravings and avoid the 3pm candy run.

What does sugar really do to us?

Where does all that sugar lurk? Become a savvy shopper!

Food and mood, is sugar the answer?

Proven tactics for dealing with that sugar siren call!

Third Call: Heart Healthy Living The Top Ten Tips for Heart Healthy Living What are the Super Foods that keep our hearts happy How to set your New Years Heart Healthy Goals with Kristina during the class using an interactive worksheet Plus over $125 of FREE BONUS GIFTS!

Click here to get more info about the teleseminar and FREE Bonus Gifts!

Š Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 10

Making Every Life a Living Legacy What do you want to remember before you forget?

Spending less than an hour a day you can easily create your personal Living Legacy LifeBook that will: Help you process and harvest a lifetime of memories.

Serve you as a memory aid when memory becomes problematical.

Become a living Legacy and posterity for your family and scholars for generations to come.

Offer you many hours of enjoyment with family and children as they listen to you tell and retell life and stories.

You will have: An answer to what you talk about after “Fine.” (How are the kids, fine, work, fine, your health, fine…)

Spent hours upon hours with your spouse, children, and your friends listening to you as you tell and retell your family, life, and times.

An enhanced sense of self and of your own achievements A memory aid for when your memory becomes problematical.

A Living Legacy that will last for generations to come. Oral History, a true immortality.

So that is it and much more. A flexible structured document of documents an easy, enjoyable, satisfying, step by step, do it at your own pace, Living Legacy LifeBook.

Your life is worth far far more than a 100 word obit in the local paper… Give the gift of a Living Legacy LifeBook to yourself, your spouse, you children, your best friends – then work it with them. A gift that never ceases giving. The Living legacy LifeBook.

Order yours today!

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 11

Conversations

By Joyce Joneschiet, Editor in Chief

I Truly Enjoyed A Conversation I had with Darol Tuttle, Elder Law Attorney who specializes in Veterans Benefits. I personally consulted with Darol in regards with my Uncle Bob who served in World War II and needed to use a cane. Darol was extremely helpful in finding answers to whether he could be awarded benefits or not.

Darol currently lives in Tacoma, is married and has 2 children. He grew up in eastern Washington and was the first member of his family to go to college.

He entered the military and worked in the judge advocates court so he is a veteran himself. He started with elder law in his training and practice. He enjoys public speaking and holds many workshops where he educates on estate planning as well as seminars for health and senior service providers such as myself.

He is dedicated to helping veterans and so I asked him what the process was like to work with him. First of all a medical need must be established with a physician and then he verifies the assets and income to see what is available to his client.. He estimates what costs could be in the future, along with resources available and then works to cover any shortfall through the VA and Medicare. His work involves legal strategy, setting up care contracts and converting assets into income. He uses different approaches ultimately to finance long term care. He also sends out a geriatric nurse periodically to do assessments and then advocacy for his client’s needs.

He explained that there are three general categories of long term care available: 1. Facilities that only accept Medicaid and has minimal amenities available.

2. Facilities that are private pay but… will accept Medicaid possibly. (He suggests to get that in writing before) 3. Facilities that are private pay and: A. Will take Medicaid and commit to 12—24 months first but won’t guarantee a bed after that.

B. Only accept private pay.

He helps his clients see what services they are available and what amenities they will need and not need.

There are many great stories of clients that he has helped but a favorite one is of a retired command sergeant who had served for 20 years in the military. He was a double amputee with Alzheimer’s who was living in a deplorable situation. He was able to bring him to a high quality care facility and they bonded because of his background. A local judge who was a retired general conducted a wedding for his client and made it a very special day. Darol was glad that the access he had to his community and connections were a great benefit to this client.

He has just opened a new office in Kirkland, WA, expanding his practice and workshops to the north end of the Puget Sound. I would highly recommend Darol for his expertise not only in elder law and estate planning but also for his astounding knowledge in veterans affairs and benefits for those who can take advantage of them.

For further information, click on the icons to go to his website and Facebook page and find out when his next workshop is in the local area.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 12

A Husband’s Mother Tongue

By Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Imagine you’re a North American male living in Mongolia for a year. You don’t know the Mongolian language nor, in those 12 months, have you heard a word of English.

One day, in the marketplace among hundreds of Mongolians, all of whom are chattering away in what sounds like gibberish, someone shouts, “The Boston Red Sox won the World Series!”

Like light into darkness, that sentence penetrates the millions of unintelligible Mongolian expressions. That short string of words jerks your head. Hearing your mother tongue, you quickly find that person. You are hungry to talk with someone who understands you.

Today, in the land of marriage, a husband can feel like he is in Mongolia. He often hasn’t heard his mother tongue – respectful talk – for a long time.

A crazy cycle Take Tom, for example. In courtship, he regularly heard respectful language from Lisa. “I believe in you. I admire you.”

Tom concluded that Lisa would always speak this way, at least more often than not. It never dawned on him that Lisa’s words would turn sullen and sour. After being married for several years, Tom heard less and less respect even though he continued to hear, “I love you.”

At times, Tom failed to be as loving as he ought to be, so Lisa lost feelings of respect. She thought she’d be hypocritical to speak respectfully if she didn’t feel it. She reasoned that he didn’t deserve her respect.

Even so, Lisa’s love drove her to help Tom change, so she could respect him. Her “helpful” critique, however, backfired. “You need to be more sensitive… to say you’re sorry… to listen to me more… to share your feelings… to tell me that you love me… to make me feel special,” she’d drone.

Granted, these are relevant needs for Lisa, but her criticisms began to feel like contempt to her husband. Tom

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 13

heard, “I don’t accept who you are. I don’t approve of you. I don’t respect who you are as a human being.” So Tom lost motivation to draw close to her. He felt like he was in Mongolia.

For Tom to be drawn toward her, Lisa must reintroduce expressions of respect into their relationship.

A new day Why respect? This is not about a husband deserving a wife’s “respectful behavior,” it’s about a husband needing respect like a wife needs love. When Lisa feels unloved, her tendency is to be disrespectful. Her disrespect is her futile attempt to motivate Tom to change. Her dark look, negative words and unsupportive actions are designed to send him a message: “You are hurting me. Be more loving!” But no husband has fond feelings of affection toward a woman he thinks despises him.

The turning point in a marriage occurs when a wife returns to speaking and acting respectfully, which is a choice just like love. As a husband hears his mother tongue, the words he hungers for – respect talk – he will push through the crowd, so to speak, to get to his wife.

Speaking the mother tongue So, you wonder, what exactly is respect talk? It’s simple: Return to the way you spoke to him in those early days of marriage.

Tell him that you value his desire to work and achieve.

Praise his desire to provide for and protect you.

Thank him for his desire to be strong for you.

Express appreciation for his desire to make good decisions.

Thank him for his desire to give good advice.

Tell him why you like him. (He already knows you love him.)

Sound unusual? Not any more than speaking English to an American in Mongolia.

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs are founders of Love and Respect Ministries. For more information, visit www.loveandrespect.com. Dr. Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

This dynamic and life-changing conference is impacting the world via recorded media and the internet, resulting in the healing and restoration of countless relationships. Dr. Eggerichs has authored several books, including the national bestseller Love and Respect, which is a Platinum and Book of the Year award winner, selling over 1.3 million copies.

Emerson is the Founder and President of Love and Respect Ministries and Sarah serves as Vice President. Married for over 30 years, they live in Grand Rapids, MI and have three adult children.

Click on the website image to be directed to their site.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 14

Four Considerations Before Hiring a Moving Company Every year, thousands of individuals need to relocate, downsize, and put their house hold goods and belongings into storage. Each year, many retired and seniors end up being taken advantage of, overpriced, or blatantly robbed of their worldly possessions. This occurs because many times relocating, moving, and downsizing is a very stressful time, as there is much confusion, and the needed of urgency to get things done is extremely overwhelming.

Finding a good moving and packing company is an art all in its self. Also, deciding what to keep, what to donate, and what to throw away triggers very emotional feelings as well as financial elements as well.

There are many reputable moving and storage companies in the industry, and those are the businesses that individuals need to be made aware of.

Get referrals, check references, ask questions.

Be cautious of: 

Moving companies that have RENTED trucks or generic non labeled trucks for doing business.



Companies that quote a very very low rate, but then add on extra’s for their estimate pricing.



The demand or urgency to make a decision “right then and there”, or else the price/quote will not be valid.



Remember if it sounds too good to be true, usually it IS, and DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO.

Listed below are some handy tips to ensure that your relocation, move, or storage will be safely and appropriately handled for you.

Is the company, CERTIFIED, LICENSED, and BONDED ?

Does the company do employee background checks, and do they have references ?

What kind of Safety plan does the company have and adhere to ?

Is the company in adherence with Federal and State moving guidelines ?

Does the company use updated, safe, and industry standard move equipment ?

Do you do FREE ESTIMATES ?

How are your workers trained – are they affiliated with a labor union – are their employees in appropriate uniforms ?

Does your company provide worker’s compensation ?

How and who handles claims if there is a challenge of a move ?

How are the house hold goods stored and protected – is there extended storage available ?

Are there contact phone numbers for questions and information prior and on the day of the move ?

How long has the company been in business – are they locally owned – do they have business affiliations with any national moving companies ?

Can the company do local, interstate, and international moves ?

Article provided by Lincoln Moving and Storage, Kris Anderson - Project Relocation Analyst and Sales Locally and Family owned. In business for 98 years. Local, interstate, and worldwide moves.

Kent, WA 1-800-426-4780 www.lincmove.com

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 15

Special Series How To Say NO Without Guilt or Conflict: No #3 The Invisible No

By Stephanie Owens

This issue continues our series on the 4 NO’s you need to say no and set boundaries successfully in any situation without drama or guilt. Featured this month: No #3 - The Invisible No. The Invisible No is ideal for children or adults who act like children. The script is fill in the blank to fit the specific situation, but the skeleton is “Yes, you can ____ as soon as you _____.”

In the Invisible No, the “NO” is implied and inferred, but never stated. In fact it starts with a “yes.” Therefore it’s less likely to be rebuffed or make people defensive.

For example, your child wants to go outside and play, but needs to complete their chores. The Invisible No helps you avoid getting into a tug of war, or caving on your no. Simply respond, “Yes, you can go outside as soon as you finish unloading the dishwasher.”

In the Invisible No, the “NO” is implied and inferred, but never stated. In fact it starts with a “yes.”

When dealing with adults who act like children, the process is the same.

My client “Lauren” executed an Invisible No beautifully with her extended family. She was being squeezed by her mother and aunts regarding the ongoing care of her grandmother. The older women would resist helping their mother, and then blame each other when her weekly errands, home maintenance and health were neglected. They roped Lauren in too, making her feel guilty that she wasn’t doing her part either. Feeling frustrated and guilty, Lauren would step in and take over attending to all her grandmother’s needs, leaving her burdened with the whole load. Furthermore, Lauren’s aunts and mother would call her to complain about the others, hoping she would take their side.

The Invisible No was a perfect solution. Rather than cave to their manipulation, Lauren crafted and executed the following Invisible No. “Yes, I’d be happy to help take care of Grandma. You guys put to-

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 16

gether a schedule and decide which Saturday each of you plan to cover, then let me know which weekend you’d like me to help out with.” It worked like a charm.

Your child (or childish friend) WILL test you. Just continue to calmly repeat your Invisible No like a broken record. If they ask “Why?” simply respond, “You tell me why.”

Also, remember we never repeat our “No” more than three times. Having to repeat yourself more than that is a sure sign you’re dealing with a bully or master manipulator (AKA social terrorists.) We NEVER negotiate with social terrorists! If they find they can get you to bend this time, they’ll keep coming back for more.

The next time you find yourself of the verge of a tug of war with a child or childish adult, kick in with an Invisible No. Rather than caving or being pulled into guilt-filled manipulation, end the conversation. Just changing the patterns of the past in this way will begin to shift your interactions with others.

For more information on the 4 NO’s, visit www.learnhowtosayno.com. Before you know it you’ll be a No Pro.

Stephanie Owens is a coach, speaker and trainer. She teaches her clients how to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be to create a life they fall in love with. She coaches purpose-driven, high-performance people to achieve not only success but deep personal satisfaction. A small business owner for over a decade, Stephanie blends her experience in the business world with a Masters in Counseling.

Whether coaching privately with clients or speaking to groups, Stephanie teaches participants how to stop fear from sabotaging success and unlock their full potential.

Stephanie is a recurring guest host on the radio show Chat With Women. and author of a book entitled Be A No Pro: How to Say No, Set Better Boundaries and Reclaim Your Joy. Stephanie lives a peaceful happy life with her husband and two wonderful children.

Click on the website image to be directed to her site.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 17

Traveling When a Loved One Has Dementia

By Shannon Baker-Spoor, LICSW and Manager of Therapeutic Programming, Regional Behavioral Health Center

A good vacation takes planning. That is especially true when traveling with a loved one who has cognitive challenges due to dementia.

Individuals diagnosed in the earlier stages of dementia usually travel well, however it can be more challenging with those in the more advanced stages. Individuals with dementia have ever-increasing difficulties in coping with change. It is important understand the limitations of your loved one and to prevent over-stimulation, which can cause anxiety and fear. Traveling to familiar places and keeping trips short can help.

If you are flying, plan to avoid travelling at peak times such as holidays or when there may be weather delays.

Let the airline know that you’re travelling with someone who has dementia. It is best to ask for a travel escort who will assist you and your loved one prior to the flight and once you have landed. The travel escort can help you with everything from navigating through security, to boarding the plane to handling your luggage and assisting with transportation.

Also, request an earlier flight when everyone is well rested and ask for a seat near the window to reduce stimulation of other passengers on the flight. If there is a layover, request enough time before flights so that you are not rushing. Most airlines have special services and lounges to rest between flights.

Keep carryon luggage to a minimum with the exception of medications, medical history documents, and some healthy food (as fewer airlines serve meals). Be cautious of beverages that contain caffeine or alcohol, which may cause changes in mood or the need for frequent trips to the bathroom. Do bring family pictures to reminisce with your loved one and to provide a focus for redirection.

Once you have arrived at your destination, allow at least one day to acclimate to the environment. Pack familiar pajamas, robe, slippers and a pillow if possible. Continue to keep a steady routine each day, allowing time for rest periods.

Finally, have an emergency plan in place. Consider purchasing a Medic-Alert bracelet for identification, and pack legal documents such as advanced directives and durable power of attorney. Inform your loved ones’ physician as well and discuss emergency medical plans.

If you are traveling to a family members’ or friends’ home, discuss your loved ones’ needs with them in advance. Once you have engaged this support, develop your own self-care plan, allow for humor and enjoy your travels.

Shannon Baker-Spoor is a licensed social worker and manager of therapeutic programming at Auburn Regional Medical Center’s Regional Behavioral Health Center.

Click on the website icon for more info!

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 18

What does Independence Really Mean?

By Matthew Hayes; Coach and Consultant to the Senior Care Industry

The perfect vision of retirement we have all gotten used to seeing is the world traveler who visits exotic locations after a long successful life including careers, children, grandchildren, responsibilities and the ultimate reward of living to the see the benefit of a life well lived; blessed with great health, perfect vision and a full head of hair! To the reader of the brochures or websites of most any product marketed to seniors, independence is assured and just a call, click or visit away.

Independence is often misunderstood; especially when it comes to the world of Senior Care and the Graying of America. Its most basic definition focuses on the lack of control, influence or authority of one party over another; we are the masters of our domain.

As 20,000 Americans turn 65 each day for the next 30 years, there are products, goods, services and companies to keep each and every one us as independent as we choose to be. Although the Declaration of Independence guarantees it as a human right, as we age, independence is a choice, not a guarantee.

Aging and independence are very much related. Too often, people’s perception of aging includes dependence on others. Proactive decision making can effectively maintain independence, on your own terms, even while relying on others for support and care. We live in a culture of Medicare, Medicaid, Long Term Care Insurance and multiple Medi-gap plans along with some belief that all the needed services, when the time comes, will be covered by one of these policies. These policies do support any person who develops conditions that require care, but are generally treatment based and coverage is triggered by a health event.

It’s no surprise that as we age, we develop some type of condition that requires a visit to a hospital, and perhaps an extended rehabilitation stay at a local skilled nursing center. For some, that perfect vision of retirement and independence has shifted. Planning ahead and exercising flexibility with any plan is necessary to maintain that treasured independence.

There are a few steps anyone can take to maintain a personal level of independence, regardless of living circumstances or health conditions.

1. Wills, Trusts and other Elder Law matters – being prepared is one of the best tools today’s retiree has to live a life of independence. In other words, taking care of business.

2. Living Wills & Advanced Directives – instructions that specify what actions should be taken for your health if you are no longer able to make decisions due to illness or incapacity. This removes burdensome decisions from spouses or adult children. Because they are your instructions, it is your exercise of independence.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 19

3. Durable Power of Attorney – a trusted individual who can carry forward your decisions on your behalf, with your best interest. In other words, your personal agent.

4. Medical Power of Attorney or Health Care Agent/Proxy – a trusted individual who makes health care decisions on your behalf and/or according to your wishes.

5. Communicate wishes to adult children or trusted advisor – adult children are often the responsible party to carry out family responsibilities on behalf of an aging parent. For those with no children, a trusted family member or attorney is an excellent advisor.

6. Consider part time support in the home - a few hours of support per week for household or personal services can maintain independence indefinitely.

7. Review the current living situation – a successful home environment can provide many years of vitality and independence. Consider a few safety modifications and hiring some support to maintain the lifestyle that best suits your situation.

8. Seek professional counsel – there are many professionals dedicated to serving the lives of aging Americans.

Consider their counsel and make empowered decisions that foster your wishes.

9. Live well; both in mind and body – take care of your body with good nutrition and exercise as well as your mind with friends, family, and ongoing education. You too are a life-long learner.

While each of us continues to picture the perfect retirement dream for ourselves, it does come with responsibility. We cherish our independence, however time and medical needs might shift what independence looks like.

Remain flexible to the definition and what it means for you. It might seem contradictory to see the acceptance of help or support as a sign of independence. To the contrary; asking for and accepting support that promotes your independence is an excellent sign of living life on your terms. Aging may not be an option, but surrendering independence is!

Matthew Hayes has represented senior-focused businesses since 2000. He began his seniorfocused career by educating skilled nursing facilities and hospitals on specialty medical products. He continued to represent the retirement industry with Marriott and Life Care Services, Inc. in suburban Baltimore and Washington, DC. Since 2006, Mr. Hayes has focused his time and efforts as a home care specialist with HomeWell Senior Care, Inc. of Seattle, WA. Along with a team of dedicated individuals, he helped create the foundation of the brand and has traveled to most of the markets HomeWell serves. He brings considerable experience and demonstrates a unique market understanding regarding the choice and ability to live at home, where ever home might be. Currently, Matthew provides coaching, consulting and best practice services to small and medium sized businesses that serve our aging population.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 20

Creating Products for Boarders, or Boomers? (a story of the Scion XB)

By Aaron Murphy I read a great article 3-4 years ago, telling of important “accidental” lessons learned by Toyota related to the intended client of the Scion XB, vs. who was actually buying the product. Having been the architect/designer at the time for a Scion Showroom conversion within an existing Toyota building that didn’t have a space for the new Scion vehicles yet, we created a hip and “techie” interior showroom space, with tons of large wall graphics showing snowboarders flying through the air and taking on some “epic pow-pow” (light powdery snow, for you non-skiers and snowboarders).

The lesson Toyota learned only after going to market with their snazzy box-style vehicle, was that it wasn’t the twentysomething tattooed and pierced young adults that were buying their vehicle for mounting their snowboards to. Rather, it was the “mature market” that was most interested in the new design, for its better seat height positioning for ease of raising and lowering themselves in and out of the vehicle!

Research of the demographic that we are quickly recognizing will represent the largest age group increase category in the next 2-3 decades (55+ years old), shows that in comparison to younger people, people in the mature market have the following important characteristics; they save and invest more, spend more on luxury products and services, prefer “one-stop” shopping, are very convenience-oriented, patronize reputable/traditional outlets, seek personal attention and special services (such as valet parking and gift wrapping), choose products based on quality and brand name, and are less price conscious and deal prone.

The typical 4 Ps of marketing for the mature market apply just as much as they do to any other demographic market target group, and they are: Positioning Positioning involves the creation of an image in the minds of consumers for a product or service. It refers to what consumers think about your product or facility’s characteristics or offerings relative to other similar offerings. Subsets of this category include: Convenience, Functionality, Quality, Dependability, Personalized service, and Product development. This last one, product development, is the one I’d like to focus on for today as it relates to “Aging-In-Place” modifications for the home.

In developing new products or modifying existing products to better serve the mature market, companies have learned that they should not develop products or attributes of interest exclusively to the older person. Rather, an increasing number of providers develop offerings that have “universal appeal”, hence the term in my industry “universal design”. This means products and attributes can satisfy the needs of both younger and older consumers, but are most beneficial to the older person, such as developing easy-to-use operable parts to items in the home. If done right, these products “disappear” in the sense that they are not specifically noticed as “elder-friendly”, but that they simply WORK better for everyone.

Promotion We have learned much over the past few decades in regard to what types of messages appeal to the mature market we are trying to serve. We must be careful in how we present and promote our new “mature market” products, to be sure we aren’t presenting those products and services in a way that imply by buying it they would admit to their “old-age” status, nor that using the product would remind them of their old age. No one wants to feel like they are being catered to in a way that expresses a message making the consumer feel like they have “special needs” of any sort. It is human nature and psychologically obvious that at any age, we don’t want to be a burden to anyone or need extra / special attention. Our products and promotions of such shouldn’t send that message either.

Place or Distribution

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 21

The older consumer market is very diverse and prefers the variety of distribution methods as much as the general population (with exemption of the Internet, although the older market is the fastest growing age segment of Internet users). Marketers should emphasize company reputation, adopt policies that reduce risk (such as free pick-up services for merchandise returns), and offer a variety of payment options.

When developing distribution avenues, one should consider using services that show they care about convenience for their clients, such as valet parking, gift-wrapping, and package carry-out (if applicable to the product/service). Consider innovative ways of using coupons, and offer programs that reward long-term patrons, since older consumers are very poised to be long term and loyal customers.

Price Pricing decisions should also take into account the needs and preferences of older consumers. Generally, older consumers are not very price sensitive and less likely to sacrifice quality for lower prices, but lower prices could entice them when no significant differences in product quality or service are perceived. Use premium pricing for drastically different products, as older consumers would gladly pay a higher price for products suitable to their specific needs. Consider product and service offerings “a` la carte.” Although older consumers are willing to pay higher prices for certain products, they are not willing to pay for product benefits and services they do not use or need. They are less likely to pay for “bundles” of benefits, when many of the benefits do not interest them. Marketers should make those “extra” options available for an additional cost rather than marketing all of them as a “package” of offerings. Finally, and probably most importantly, do not over-emphasize senior discounts. Do not ask people to engage in activities that remind them of their old age, label them as “old” or contribute to the definition of one’s self as an old person, because reality is that nobody wants to be old, be told they are old, or feel anything that resembles old.

The changing demographics and the aging of the population are affecting the age composition of all of our consumer markets. The upside is that this also creates opportunities (and challenges) for organizations serving consumer markets. So recognize your client, respect them and their position in life, and don’t ignore this age group or their buying power in the remainder of your professional products and services career.

Aaron Murphy, CAPS is a licensed architect with over 15 years of experience and has worked on both commercial and residential projects. He is a part of many associations and civic groups in Kitsap County, WA. He speaks widely on the subjects of “Aging in Place” and “Empowering the Mature Market.”

You can contact Aaron at the following: (Click on the images to be linked to his sites)

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 22

Spiritual Corner Emptying Buckets

By Darvi Mack As this special U.S. holiday approaches I’m choosing to focus on giving thanks and having gratitude. Many people will be connecting with friends and family, eating, watching sports, vacationing and doing other community activities. Some may not. Even if you feel you are alone, you’re not. God is there. Talk to Spirit within – shift your focus and look for all that you have to be grateful for on this 4th of July holiday.

While pondering what could I share that would encourage you at this time, Psalm 55:22 (NIV) came to my mind. "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you” I’ve learned to let go of, cut loose, give over to OK, throw my every concern, worry, frustration and fear on to the Lord including the burdens I pick up regarding those I love, my country and the world.

My coach once told me, “You carry a lot of weight!” She was right – I did, but now I have developed the muscle of turning all that stuff over to God – the one who can handle it. I’m reminded of the time I taught my daughter to tell God what she is thankful for and anything on her mind just before going to bed. One time in particular to my surprise she unloaded tons of little things she was thankful for; little things I had forgotten and taken for granted and then she proceeded to unload the “stuff” that was worrying her.

Imagine that! What do kids have to worry about? You would be surprised. Anyway after she gave heartfelt thanks and unloaded her cares, we said, “Thanks God for taking all of this stuff.” I kissed her and closed the door.

As I walked down the hallway, I heard in less than a minute, “Go back and peek at her.” I did and the child was completely sound asleep. I mean as if she had been in a deep sleep for hours.

I heard Spirit say, “That is the result of casting your cares on the Lord before going to bed with a heart of thanks.” It’s called rest. That reflection caused me to think about some of the things besides our worries that rob us of God’s precious rest, things like discontentment and selfishness that rob us of the true thankfulness and appreciation of even the smallest treasures.

You may not have everything you want right now and you may look around and everyone appears to have it better than you. Trust me what you see is not necessarily what is true. You never know what someone else’s “harder” is unless they choose to let you know. Whatever your current state may be, it could be worse. I encourage you to release your cares with genuine thankfulness for all you do have—air, water, inside toilets, this article, do you get the gist?

Once you’ve cast your cares on the Lord don’t allow an attitude of discontentment and selfishness to rob you of true thankfulness and rest in the Father’s care by focusing on what you lack rather than seeing the abundance around you. Lack of focus breeds more lack and chokes out your ability to receive solutions.

My daughter was able in the moment to glance around at her life and overflow in thankfulness while casting every care on God who abundantly provides. Colossians 2:6-7 (NIV) urges believers to do the same, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 23

My daughter’s beautiful example of this was demonstrated before my eyes. She had simply absorbed the blessings around her and spilled over with appreciation and thankfulness from her heart, cast her cares and trusted. Observing her served to show me the lack of thankfulness in my own weary soul at the time.

Too often, burdened by the cares of the world and life in general, we focus on the negative rather than pouring out words of praise and thanksgiving causing our challenges to seem greater than God. I’ve made it my personal practice to give thanks and throw my cares on the Lord daily especially before going to bed. My intention is to empty buckets of praise before the feet of my Heavenly Father while I cast my cares making this holiday and everyday days of gratitude.

Why not shift your focus and allow your heart to be filled with gratitude, thanking our faithful God for the many blessings around us both big and small. And out of obedience to the Word cast your cares on the Lord and trust that God will sustain you. Then you too can rest peacefully in His care.

Want to explore one on one private or group coaching support with Darvi? Send an email to info@darvimack.com and let’s explore how I might best support you.

Darvi Mack, Speaker, Minister, Success Achievement Mentor, Breakthrough Coach and Author earned MA, BS, Certified NLP, Dream Coach, Spiritual Coach and Trainer takes your inspiration and turns it into practical wisdom so you achieve success and make the positive impact you were uniquely designed to make.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 24

© Spring 2012 | Encore Life | 24

A MOVING STORY

By Sue McGuire

Part One: Jane and Tom Consider a Retirement Home How do you make the enormous decision to move into a retirement home? How do you sort through all the belongings of a lifetime and decide what to take with you, what to store, and what to give away? How do you handle the overwhelming details of the move—the packing and unpacking? Jane and Tom Fletcher face these same big questions and challenges in this series of six articles—A Moving Story.

With their children grown and living miles away, Jane and Tom’s three-story home with its large yard seemed too big. After Jane fell on the stairs, she never quite recovered her balance, so she worried about climbing the stairs.

Jane and Tom’s children encouraged their parents to move to a smaller place with no stairs, yard work, or unnecessary rooms to clean. Jane and Tom, although reluctant to give up their home, agreed to consider their options. Also, they realized the advantages of moving before a serious illness or accident made it an even bigger challenge.

They considered a smaller home, but decided they were tired of yard work. The idea of a moving into a community that provided meals sounded attractive. Jane and Tom chose to move into an independent living retirement community. But which one?

First, wanting to stay close to their church and doctors, Jane and Tom narrowed their search to within fifteen miles. Second, they made a list of “have tos” that included a washer and dryer in the apartment, and a patio or

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 25

deck. Third, they toured several retirement communities.

Each retirement community had several apartments with different floor plans. Most communities offered both independent and assisted living services. Typical independent living services included basic housekeeping and dining room services, but assisted living included help with medication and bathing. Some communities grouped assisted living apartments together, others did not. Would they be willing to move from one apartment to another if they came to need assisted living services?

After the tours, Jane and Tom felt overwhelmed. So they bought a notebook and headed to a coffee shop to take notes. They started a pro and con list for each community and for each apartment. Jane and Tom realized they weren’t ready to move into an efficiency kitchen after all. So they added a kitchen with a four-burner stove, full-sized refrigerator, and ample cabinets to their “have to” list. They also decided they each wanted their own bathroom. Then, armed with a more detailed list of desires and questions for the staff, Jane and Tom continued their search.

Jane and Tom revisited the communities, attended special events, and checked out the meals in the dining room before making a final decision. They took their time, weighing not only the community’s services and floor plan, but the “feel” of the community—the friendliness of the staff and residents. After deliberating several months, Jane and Tom made their choice; both felt confident about their decision.

Once this decision was made, Jane and Tom faced the next step, deciding what furniture to take with them, covered in the next issue’s article.

Segue Move Management Services is a business specializing in moving seniors from their home to a retirement community. We truly enjoy easing the stressful process of a move. Segue does floor plans, packs belongings, coordinates with professional movers, unpacks, and does everything to set up the new home: organizes the kitchen, bedrooms, and living room, plugs in the lamps, sets up the computer, and hangs the artwork. The best part is our clients walk into their new home at the end of the day and say, “It looks just like home.” Segue has been in business for ten years and completed over 1100 moves in the Puget Sound region.

Sue McGuire heads up the South Sound office of Segue. She has lived and worked in the Tacoma area for 35

years. She has a Masters degree in planning and over 30 years experience providing business management, marketing, and project management services to private and public clients. Sue has run her own consulting business, managed a private-non-profit social service agency, and was marketing director for the Tacoma office of a national engineering firm.

Click on the website icon for more information.

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 26

CONFESSIONS OF A DIMWITTED HUSBAND

By Rick Stafford

Observations during 41 years of Marriage: What I didn’t know and What I found out Part 1 Remembering how I was when I married at age 23, it still amazes me that my wife is still with me. Looking at the misconceptions under which I was laboring, my wife’s frequent frustrations and disappointments are understandable and predictable.

As we examine some of these and discover the real truths about men and women, I hope to motivate men and women everywhere to give each other more slack and seek understanding, communication and, most of all, patience.

When I was young, I had the wonderful experience of hiking in the woods with my Dad’s hunting dog. I love walking down a beautiful wooded trail with man’s best friend. The joy of the dog adds to the feeling of enjoyment. Dogs are beautiful. My Dad’s dog was a Brittany spaniel, white with red splotches, with a tail that had not been bobbed, so it stood straight up like a plume when he ran. As I was walking down the trail, the spaniel was rarely to be seen. He was having the time of his life, chasing through the bushes after whatever little critter he could smell and marking every spot from which he could detect the scent of any rival animal. When it was time to go, it was a real chore to get him in the car. I remember, being put out at having to yell and scold pretty hard.

The reason I bring up this story is to point out that every creature on this earth perceives any given situation differently. The different perceptions add to, rather than detract from, the relationship. The owner cannot smell what his dog can. The dog cannot see what his owner can see. Just as you would expect a dog to go crazy if there were a bear in the bushes on the hike, you would likewise expect the owner not to let his prize pet out of the car when fixing a flat on the freeway. Together they can get the job done.

The ideal couple would operate in the same manner. Both would have different talents, weaknesses and perceptions, while understanding that these differences are fairly uniform throughout couples in general and that they are there for the advantage of the couple if both he and she will take the time to understand and use them to their mutual benefit.

What I have seen in relationships over the years is this: he can’t understand that her feelings are not only pertinent to the situation right this minute, but they are vital to his (and her) success in life in general. He doesn’t know that everything he feels cannot compare in magnitude to what she feels, and if he wants to do the best for himself and his woman, he will not dare to give less than the highest regard to everything about which she feels passionate. It is common for young men to think that their women are illogical, groundlessly emotional and removed from common sense, because women have a perception which trumps common sense. I confess, that was I as a young husband. It was only through experience and a little help from a few books that I was over time able to understand and own what my wife was trying to tell me from the beginning.

A man goes to a party with his woman and as the two of them enter, he sees the bushes and she sees the trail.

While she instinctively bonds with many women who have like experiences and challenges, he is off to poke fun at one of his buddies, deliver a sermon on why the Seahawks lost the super bowl or why his boss is the worst ever.

And all this he does while being distracted by every short skirt and low cut blouse in the vicinity. As he takes his woman home, he notices that things are not right. He may get a scolding and not really understand why, just like the dog in the story cited previously. Neither is very happy, because both are laboring under misconceptions. He thinks that you can treat a woman just like you treat the guys and she thinks that because he doesn’t understand © Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 27

and take care of her needs, he doesn’t care. He is expecting her to be like him, and she is expecting him to be like her.

This takes me to my first confession: when I first got married I treated my wife like she was one of the guys on the team. I didn’t know what she was and I didn’t know what I had.

My wife bought me a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This played a great roll in my evolution as a husband. Because I was a slow learner, I had to read the book. I’m pretty convinced that every man who wants to become his woman’s soul mate needs to read that book. In it I learned many important things about women and men. Then, with some observations I’ve made, watching the women in my life, I came to a very important conclusion: every woman deserves to have a man who is desperately in love with her and shows it. Almost all women really need it and few women get enough of it.

So here you are guys, you don’t feel all lovey-dovey most of the time. As you act like you have constant feelings of love for your woman, however, you will begin to feel it and as time goes by, your love for her will become the most precious thing in your life.

This leads me to Confession number two: For years I neglected my wife.

Stay tuned for Part Two in the next issue!

Rick Stafford was born at Auburn General Hospital in Auburn, Washington in 1948. This small town provided a happy childhood and many wonderful experiences and relationships for him. Leaving his home for the first time, Rick entered BYU in the fall of 1966. After his freshman year, he left on a 27 month mission for the LDS church to Vienna, Austria. Once there, he developed a deep love for the Austrian people, the German language and WWII history. His first apartment in Vienna was 16 doors down from the one that Adolf Hitler lived in when he was an art student. He also saw some of the finest art the world has known and viewed the graves of a good share of the world’s great classical composers.

Once back in the states, Rick resumed his studies at BYU, but soon realized that his part time job as a truck driver paid better than the one he would have when he graduated. He went with the job he had and worked for Associated Grocers in Seattle for 35 years.

While at BYU, he met and married Janice Wilson. Together they raised 7 children, all of whom graduated from Auburn High School. At present, Rick and Jan have 27 grandchildren, with 2 on the way. There are always 2 on the way.

In 2004 the Stafford’s started HomeWell Senior Care of South King County. Jan is the administrator and Rick is in charge of marketing. “It has given us an opportunity to give back to this great community. We love our clients. These people saved America in its time of need. Now it’s our turn to help them in their time of need,” says Jan. Says Rick, “We see these people as the brave 18, 19, and 20 year olds who went off to war in the 1940’s.”

If you ask Rick what his favorite thing to do is when he’s not working In the business or serving as a volunteer at church with his wife, he’ll tell you, “being with our grandkids, giving them violin lessons, rebounding for them when they’re work ing on their jump shot or telling them bed time stories.”

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 28

10 Red Flags You’re Being Scammed

By Steve Geertz Fraud seems to be more prevalent in today’s news than ever. Not a day goes by where there is not another story about how someone committed fraud. But, what is fraud and what are some signs that a scam may be occurring?

In simple terms fraud is an intentional act to deceive another. This could be to the detriment of someone else or for the fraudster’s own personal gain. This deception can take many forms, from blatant theft to providing misleading or not disclosing information. But, why are older adults such a common target?

Many of you may have heard the story about two guys being chased by a grizzly bear. One friend asks the other, “Do you think we can outrun the bear?”

The reply, “It doesn’t matter. I just need to outrun you”.

In other words, that bear is going to follow the path of least resistance.

Older adults are simply an easier target and there as an opportunity for a larger gain. Less effort is required on the part of the fraudster to achieve a greater return. There are several reasons why older adults are targeted: You have assets You have good credit You are home You answer the phone You tend to trust people You may be alone Another reason and the unfortunate reality is that as we age, we tend to forget things and may even be entering early stage dementia. We also have that thing called pride; pride in being able to take care of ourselves, pride in what we have established and built over our lifetime and pride that causes us not to report being victimized. In fact, a study done back in 2000 found that only 1 in 25 older victims report being financially exploited (1). My guess is that number is probably more like 1 in 50 today, but purely a guess on my part. Bottom line here, older adults are a frequent target of fraud and need to be aware.

Now for the million dollar (maybe literally) question, what are some of those so called “red flags” showing me that I better be aware and that this is a potential scam? Let’s just say there are many, but I will focus on 10 of the more common.

Anytime there is an urgent request for money, chances are it is a scam. The fraudster will tell you a story about why you need to send them money right away. It could be a grandchild in trouble or a friend who is travelling and was mugged. Whatever the case, take down the information and call the person who you are supposed to be helping out or someone who knows where they may be.

Wire funds or provide a prepaid account or debit card number. The purpose of using these methods is to ensure that once the transfer has been made, the chance of recovering your funds is remote, i.e. when it’s gone, it’s gone. Often the fraudster will tell you to use Western Union or Money Gram or go buy a green dot card or prepaid card.

Requests to open a new bank account or add a signor to an existing account. Anytime a stranger or even a family member or friend asks you to do something like this, really stop to think why am I being asked this

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 29

question or told to do this.

Asking for too much information. Protect your personal information. Everyone knows to protect your social security number, but also protect your bank account and credit card numbers, your address, names of your children, grandchildren, etc. All of this can be used to put together a profile about you that can be used on a future call or to gain access to your account or steal your identity.

Winning something you never entered, such as a sweepstakes or lottery. These are EXTREMELY common.

Often you receive a call from someone saying that you won a foreign lottery, but you need to wire funds to pay for taxes, insurance, or something along those lines.

Anyone who is aggressive or pushy. If you ever feel threatened, call the police. If someone does not accept “no” for an answer, hang up the phone, close the door, or call the police. Be safe.

Someone who seems overly excited for you. I know it is nice when someone you know wins something, but when a stranger wins, are you really that excited for them?

Something that seems too good to be true, think about those cases where supplies are limited and you have to act now or you will miss out on the rare opportunity. If it were that good, the supplies would already be gone.

Foreign lotteries and sweepstakes. Yes, it’s a global society, but did you really think you entered a foreign lottery.

Foreign accents. Do not get me wrong. I know this sounds bad, but the reality is one of the things I’m often told by victims, especially of the Jamaican Lottery Scam, is that the man’s voice and accent was sweet as sugar.

Now that you know why you are a target and know some things to watch out for, tell your friends and relatives. Remember the grizzly bear. Ask questions, know what to watch for and do not be that path of least resistance.

(1) Wasik, John F. 2000. “The Fleecing of America’s Elderly” Consumer Digest, March/April.

Steve Geertz, CPA, CFE Principal, BG & Company LLC Steve has nearly 20 years of experience, including over four years of “Big 4” public accounting and over fourteen years of private industry and consulting. His business currently handles forensic accounting and fraud related investigations as well as general corporate finance, accounting and business consulting. He is also a volunteer with the AARP Fraud and Scams Hotline and educates seniors on how to protect themselves.

Steve is a member of: American Institute of Certified Public Accountants (AICPA) Association of Certified Fraud Examiners (ACFE) Association of Certified Fraud Examiners – Pacific Northwest Chapter Washington State Society of CPAs (WSCPA)

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 30

A New Age for A New Age “WHEN THE MOON IS IN THE SEVENTH HOUSE AND JUPITER ALIGNS WITH MARS, THEN PEACE WILL GUIDE THE PLANETS AND LOVE WILL STEER THE STARS. THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS , AGE OF AQUARIUS” If you identified with these lyrics this message is for you. If you don’t recognize them, ask your mom or dad. This song, from the musical Hair made popular by the 5th Dimension in the late 60’s was the anthem of our generation. We were the new age. The boomers. The new generation that was going to change the world. With us, there would be peace love and understanding.

WHAT HAPPENED? Life happened. Some remained on communes and followed an alternative lifestyle but most of us went into the workforce, had families, careers, established our own businesses. Now here we are at that point that previous generations stopped. Stopped striving, stopped trying, and some would say, stopped living.

But not us, we are the new age. We are the boomers who changed the world by our mere numbers. Every decade we changed things from the Sputnik era of education to the economic force of the current economy and our impact on social security and Medicare. just by our sheer numbers we affected all areas of society.

NOW WHAT? We have reached a new frontier. A new age. We are at the age for which we have no roadmap. Oh sure there are challenges –creaky knees – memory lapses, and all those issues that come upon us because we don’t do what we need to do to stay our healthiest and most vibrant. Challenges we can meet. I challenge you to continue the mission. The mission you started with while you were still starry eyed.

Truth be told, I am not really a boomer as it is defined. I was born in that trough during World War II that made the bubble stand out all the more as those babies were born following the war. That huge bubble on the population scale that makes this generation the largest demographic.

I consider myself a leading edge boomer – a pathfinder if you will.

So where are we going in this new age? Assuming the world does not end in December as some say is predicted by the Mayan calendar?

Elders as I define here are not “senior citizens” who get gold watches at retirement to move to warmer climes, and play cards and bingo, and eat early bird specials. While a previous generation might have moved to places like Sun City and Leisure World, today’s elders are seeking more active, involved lives. These new elders are the wisdomkeepers who have an ongoing responsibility for maintaining society’s well-being and following a course they are passionate about. These passions may be spiritual, political, or ecological. They want to heal the planet, bring world peace and, by the way, feed the children.

I place these responsibilities into three categories: Mediating, mentoring and motivating.

We Mediate by: Bringing our experience and wisdom to further alternative dispute resolution whether in neighborhood councils, workplace disputes, worldwide peacemaking, and yes, even to more peaceful marriage dissolution. – My specialty Mentors are Elders who become sages capable of guiding their families and communities with hard-earned wisdom. Mentors help the next generation find their place in the world and to become successful, ultimately also becoming sages themselves.

Elders Motivate by: providing a cheering section for social change whether motivating their peers, their children © Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 31

or their younger co-workers. Elders motivate others to care about the planet and each other.

As we approach the October, November, and December of our lives, the time for harvesting arrives. This involves reflecting on our achievements, feeling pride in our contribution to family and society, and ultimately finding our place in the cosmos.

Eldering implies that we take active responsibility for our destiny in old age, living by conscious choice rather than social expectation.

To help motivate you here are some examples of elders who have become sages in later life: Some of these are from previous generations. All of them offer inspiration.

Did you know that at Age 70: Dr. Mayo founded a clinic that bears his name? And ladies, fashion icon Coco Channel debut the Chanel suit when she was 71? Of course, Grandma Moses began her career at 78 while at 89 Frank Lloyd Wright completed the Guggenheim Museum.

At 81 Cloris Leachman was dancing with the stars while John Glenn was returning to the stars in a Space Shuttle Discovery mission at 77 and Pablo Casals was conducting a youth orchestra as it performs a Mozart symphony at 96.

When he was 83, baby doctor Benjamin Spock was arrested for protesting the Viet Nam War and Linus Pauling published his book How to Live longer and Feel Better. He was 85. I think I need that book!

A golfer hit a hole in one at 99 and a 100 year old Japanese man climbed Mt. Fuji.

A California woman gets her first driver’s license at 91 and a 97 year old Wisconsin resident divorced his wife, I guess there are clients out there at all ages. Just to show there is hope for me yet, an Australian woman married a younger man. She was 102 and he was 83.

Research scientist, Ray Cristi retired at 104 after an 80 year career starting at Columbia University.

We do have examples of feats in the third act of life. Will you join me on this path to becoming an elder?

We are finding a new age. The Age of Aquarius? Maybe.

I’LL SEE YOU ON THE JOURNEY. Harmony and understanding Sympathy and trust abounding No more falsehoods or derisions Golden living dreams of visions Mystic crystal revelation And the mind’s true liberation Aquarius! Aquarius!

When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius The Age of Aquarius Aquarius! Aquarius!

As a seasoned divorce attorney, Karin Quirk has provided highly professional and affordable legal services since 1996. Her law office, located in Carillon Point in Kirkland, WA, focuses on helping couple dissolve their marriage or partnership in a respectful cooperative way. As a member of the California State Bar Karin began her solo legal career in Huntington Beach and has always practiced Family Law. In 2003 she completed training in divorce mediation and shortly thereafter became certified in Collaborative Law. Karin was named a FIVE STAR Wealth ManagerSM in Seattle magazine two years in a row for 2010 and 2011 for scoring high in overall satisfaction. Only 7% of the wealth managers in the Seattle area have received this award. Click on the website icon to go to Karin’s site and see her video!

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 32

QUIZ—How Well Do You Maintain Balance?

By Joyce Joneschiet, Editor-in-Chief If trying to maintain balance in your life makes you feel like a tightrope walker, you’re not alone. Most of us have so many demands on our time and energy, life can feel like a three-ring circus. Take this quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants.

True/False __ __ 1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and emotionally. __ __ 2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others. __ __ 3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly. __ __ 4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions. __ __ 5. I set aside personal, quiet time for myself, whether I’m meditating or simply letting my thoughts drift. __ __ 6. I experience the gifts of each season: ice skating, sledding, bundled-up beach walks; gardening, hiking, more time outside; camping, swimming, barbeques; harvesting the bounty, gathering wood, spending more time inside. __ __ 7. Creativity nurtures me, too. I do what I love, whether that’s cooking, drawing, painting, writing, dancing, singing or another creative pursuit. __ __ 8. Reaching out to others enriches my life. I spend quality time with family and friends. __ __ 9. Contributing to the world provides connection and purpose, so I give my time, energy and experience where it is most useful. __ __ 10. I notice and heed the emotional signals that tell me I’m out of balance: irritability, overwhelm, resentment. __ __ 11. If I feel that I’m catching a cold, I realize I may have stressed my immune system with overactivity, so I stop and take care of myself. __ __ 12. When I need or want to, I say no to requests for my time. __ __ 13. I listen to and honor the requests my body makes for such things as a nap, a walk, green vegetables, hot soup. __ __ 14. If I have something planned for myself, I don’t just toss that aside when someone makes a request of me. __ __ 15. I’m busy, but I find time to do the things I want to do. __ __ 16. I’m happy. I regularly experience well-being, contentment, even joy.

If you answered false more often than true, you may want to take a look at the questions to which you answered false and see if you can incorporate something of its message into your life. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you’d like to explore this issue further.

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

© Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 33

Don’t Miss Our Next Issue—Fall 2012 !

In The Next Issue…

Our Special Women’s Issue 



Health and the Holidays Part Two—Confessions of a Dimwitted Husband



What About That Empty Nest?



Part Four In The Special “No” Series



And Much More!

Get Your Free Subscription Today! Click Here For Details! © Summer 2012 | Encore Life | 34