The ABC’s of Networking with Heart
Copyright © 2008 by Dawn L. Billings Published by: DCB Publishing Mesa, AZ 85213
Dawn’s Websites: www.DawnBillings.com www.TheHeartLinkNetwork.com www.TheHeartAlliance.com www.TROVABusinessNetwork.com www.WomenEntrepreneurBusinessAward.com www.TrovaNow.com www.Women-Business-Directory.com www.GetCapables.com Dawn’s E-mail: ChooseToBeGreat@aol.com Cover design by DCB Publishing, Tulsa, Oklahoma Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved under International Copyright Law. Contents and/or cover may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written consent of the Publisher. ISBN 0-9724061-3-1
Table of Contents
Appreciation is the key Be the miracle Connection begins with hello Deliver on your promises Effective listening Follow up and follow through Go on a treasure hunt How to stand out Impact Others Just show up Keep believing Love the one you’re with Memories make money Next time
Operate from abundance Purposeful living
Quick, who are you? Return the favor
Say their name Take time seriously
Use your time wisely
Value every opportunity
What have you got to lose? X-tend yourself You can make a difference
Zero in on others
Decide to Network
Use every letter you write, Every conversation you have, every meeting you attend to express your fundamental beliefs and dreams. Affirm to others the vision of the world you want. Network through thoughts. Network through love. Network through the spirit. You are the center of the network. You are the center of the world. You are a free, immensely powerful source of life and goodness. Affirm it, spread it; radiate it. Think day and night about it. And you will see a miracle happen: the greatness of your own life. Not in the world of big powers, media and monopolies, but of five and a half billion individuals. Networking is the new freedom, The new democracy, a new form of happiness. By Dr. Robert Muller Former Assistance Secretary-General United Nations
Introduction Purpose of this Book
Many people have some anxiety or fear around networking. They are not sure w h a t , h o w, o r w h e n t o n e t w o r k . Networking can often feel like work. Dawn L. Billings, Founder and CEO of The Heart Link Network, wants to take the work out of networking. In her pithy, easy to read and understand booklet she attempts to turn networking into networthing. Dawn makes learning to net worth as simple as learning your ABC’s. She has broken great networking principles into easy to understand and implement ideas that can transform your business, as well as your life, in a very short period of time. Take the time to learn the ABC’s of Networking with Heart and you, too, will discover that you can raise you net worth simply by sharing your HEART.
In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing.
Antonio Porchia
Appreciation is the key Appreciation is the first gift we give to another. Appreciating others for their unique gifts and talents is what linking hearts is really all about. When we learn to appreciate people, who they are and what they offer, we loosen the tight grip narcissism has around our lives and discover the many ways we can feel abundantly blessed by benefiting the life of another. Improving our net worth is often as simple as learning to give.
Be the miracle you long to have in your life
Every time you meet someone you have an opportunity to make a real difference. You make a difference for others when you become the miracle you long to have in your own life. If you want to be a stand out, effective sought-after, and trusted ally to those in your community, you must be willing to make the kind of difference for others, that would feel like a miracle to you. Be the miracle for others and you will see the miracle that you long to happen in your life, come true.
Connection begins with hello
Offer a warm hand shake and a friendly smile to say “hello” without words. The way you present yourself, greet individuals and exude confidence will cause others to want to talk with you. Your body speaks a language others can heart and reflects so much about who you are. Are you open, genuine, approachable, enthusiastic, energetic? Let people feel your warmth, your confidence, your respect and your desire to help when they hear you say, “Hello.”
Deliver on your promises Everything you do is a personal statement of your integrity. People listen to what you have to say, and compare it with what you do. Every encounter you leave an indelible imprint. Only you can control whether that imprint is positive and outstanding, or lacking. Leave something of yourself that makes a difference in someone’s life. Deliver on your promises. Insure the words you speak are followed by congruent actions. Deliver on your promises, and you will be known as someone people can trust. People want to do business with people they trust.
Effective listening Effective communication is 90% listening. Listening is a skill that can and must be learned. It is a respect you show to another human being that tells them they matter and that you care about them. You have two ears and only one mouth, which perfectly symbolize the fact that we need to listen twice as much as we speak. You will become far wiser by listening than you ever will by talking. Seek to hear before you insist upon being heard. Seek to understand before you insist on being understood. Effective listening is a powerful tool.
Follow up and follow through
Follow up. These two words are two of the most important words when learning to expand your circle of influence and gain continued exposure for your business. Ninety percent of success is in the follow through. Think about it. Why bother to attend networking events to meet people if you are not going to follow up and create relationships with them? The magic is in relationships and the relationships cannot become relationships if you don’t create opportunities for them to thrive.
Go on a treasure hunt Every opportunity to meet and develop relationships with others is an opportunity to go treasure hunting. Don’t think of networking as WORK, think of networking as a game. When you look at others as treasure maps and if you listen carefully enough and ask the right questions you can discover the buried treasure inside them, you will find the networking really does turn into networthing. What is one great connection worth? One great connection is priceless!
How to stand out When you meet someone, your goal is to be memorable. There are many ways to be memorable, but the best way to leave a great impression is to leave the person with the feeling that you really listened to them, wanted to relate to them, and cared about them. That’s right, just like we learned in kindergarten. When we genuinely share who we are and carefully listen as someone shares themselves, you become memorable, but more than that, you create the possibility of becoming a friend, and it is easy to remember our friends.
Introduce people One of the best ways to improve your memory for names, as well as, the facts that go with those names, is to introduce people to one another. When you attend a networking event try to introduce as many people as you can to one another. Use their names and share with the person you are introducing them to, not only information you know about them, but any recommendations you have for them. You will be amazed at how this helps you to remember them, but more importantly, you will be amazed how it helps them remember you.
Just show up If there is a single critical element to successful networking. It is simply: “Just Show UP.” The secret to success in networking is to consistently and enthusiastically show up. All marketing is about consistent touches. No advertising campaign has ever succeeded with one big super bowl commercial and that’s it. Consistency is the key. Every opportunity you have to show your stuff, meet new people, make new friends is an opportunity to grow the business you love. Nothing can happen until you first — just show up!
Keep attending If you want to increase your net worth and improve your networthing skills, keep attending. Learn to find pleasure in listening and learning from the people you meet. Leave behind the best of you in each and every encounter. Ask questions. Seek answers. Discover joy in discovery. Approach your new relationships as new opportunities to both give and receive. Be conscious about being conscientious. Make a difference. You will discover that consistency is truly half the battle. Keep attending.
Love the one you’re with You never know who you will meet at your next networking event. Sometimes you want to meet the person across the room and are frustrated by the person sitting next to you. My advice — Love the one you’re with. There are no accidents. If you can trust in that fact, you can relax and recognize that there is something valuable about talking with the one sitting next to you. You never know who they know or what connection they might have for you. Trust the process — love the one you’re with.
Memories make money It’s true. Memories make us money. How? You might ask. Here’s the answer. It is those times that we have succeeded to make our encounters, conversations and connections memorable that people keep us in their memories. If they keep us in their memories, they are much more likely to refer us to someone they know, tell a story about us to another, or use us for a future personal need they have. Yes, memories make us money. Do all you can to be memorable.
Next time There is a special time for anyone who has ever been rejected, turned down, left out, or feels like they have failed. That time is “Next time.” Sometimes an encounter will work the way you hope it will, sometimes it won’t. Some people will not understand you. Some people you will not understand. You don’t have to get upset. You can remain confident. When things don’t go your way, don’t be concerned. Instead remember, there is always Next time.
Operate from abundance There are two basic perspectives from which to operate our lives. One is the perspective of scarcity and the other is to live from a perspective of abundance. Scarcity causes us to be afraid, limits our generosity and creates competition. Abundance opens our hearts and fills them with hope, and invites us to believe in unlimited possibilities for our lives. One brings us feelings of fear, anxiety, and jealousy. The other brings us feelings of peace, joy, gratitude and generosity. Operate from abundance. It is the only way the makes any sense.
Purposeful living Understanding our purpose gives our lives meaning, however, purpose is not an easy thing to understand. Most of us have spent years becoming what others wanted us to become, or living a life spent on urgencies and exigencies. Very few of us stop to take the time to discover who we are deep inside. In order to grow your net worth and help others grow theirs you must slow down, take a deep breath, examine your heart; then use it to live with purpose, and you will inspire others to lead meaningful purposeful lives as well.
Quick, who are you? It is really important that you know who you are and what services or products you offer when you attend networking events. If you don’t know who you are, and cannot articulate what you do in thirty seconds to a minute, you are not going to be effective at most traditional networking events. Practice telling people who you are and focus on the benefits that you or your products or services can bring to their lives. Most people do not care about statistics, they care about the difference what you do might make in their lives. Quick, who are you?
Return the favor How many times has someone helped you when you needed it? Return the favor. Either do a kindness back to the person that benefited you or pay it forward. When we see someone in need, what would happen if we offered help? Help is a service that when you give it, believe it or not, you are the one who ends up feeling better. Stephen Covey asks, “You may be good, but what are you good for?� Be good at returning favors and you will have many more favors to return.
Say their name “I appreciate you, Sherry.” “Thanks for the great service, Fred.” “Judy, I couldn’t have managed the project without you.” People love hearing their name. It’s warm and personal and beautiful music to their ears. Using someone’s name lets them know you are specifically addressing them. Every time you encounter someone wearing a name tag, find a reason, any reason to say “Hello”, “I appreciate you”, “Thanks for your help” and speak their name! It makes them want to remember yours.
Take nothing for granted You never know who you will meet and the difference you can make in their life, or the difference they might make in yours. Every conversation has the potential for an amazing outcome. Engage in all conversations as though they had the potential to make you wealthy. Take nothing for granted. Don’t underestimate the people or possibilities that come your way. When we take nothing for granted, we appreciate everything and with appreciation comes real peace and joy. Take nothing for granted and everything will be a gift in your life.
Use your time wisely Take time seriously. Each of us is given the same precious minutes in every day. We cannot save them and if we spend them poorly we can never recover them. Time is the currency that we can never make more of, once spent, it is gone forever. Don’t waste your precious moments worrying, raging, fighting, failing, and sitting at home–instead live each moment as the golden treasure that it is. Share your treasure with others and the dividends will be great.
Value ever opportunity Is there anything more valuable than relationships? That is what networthing is all about, creating relationships. As other things fade and lose their value, relationships stand the test of time. Each relationship is a gift. Each comes with an opportunity for something truly special. Enjoy each experience as they unfold. See them as the gift they really are. They are golden social currency, a treasure beyond all others. They will not only improve you net worth, they improve your self-worth.
What have you got to give? Bottom line . . . the key to effective networthing is powerful, effective communication. Listen carefully. Be generous as a resource. Initiate conversations to find out how you can help others get what they want. If you’re getting what you want from your networking style, great! If you know you can be more, offer more and have more, then apply the ABC’s of networthing, and begin to network with your heart. Doors will open for you! Ask two questions: “What have you got to give? Because there is really nothing to lose.
Xtend yourself Some say you get what you expect out of life. I believe that you also reap what you sow. If you bargain with life for a penny that is exactly what life pays you, a penny, and no more. Don’t choose to live a bargain basement life. Sow Big! “Give big or go home”, as Oprah says. Go ahead, extend yourself. Go the extra mile. Do more, be more, give more. Extending yourself makes more of you. It leaves you richer just for the exercise of it. Extend yourself and watch your dreams fall into place.
You can make a difference You can make a difference. Yes, you. Even small differences can result in a ripple effect that continues to grow in its impact. A teacher gave me a used Brownie uniform when I was in second grade and that small difference inspired me, altered me and transformed me and I have paid that kindness forward for the last thirty years of my life. You can make a difference. You may not even know all of the lives you alter. What is true is that all that you do impacts the world. How big of a difference are you prepared to make?
Zero in on others This is the last letter of the alphabet, but it’s a great place to begin your journey toward developing into a great networther. Zero in on the actions and behaviors that will connect you, and others, to people and resources that will cause your life to be simply amazing. Creating a great net worth, takes becoming a great networther and the best way to become a great networther, is to network with heart. What you will discover is The Heart of S-U-C-C-E-S-S.
Dawn L. Billings is Founder & CEO of The Heart Link Network®, www.TheHeartLinkNetwork.com which is dedicated to linking women, their businesses and their hearts world wide, and www.DawnBillings.com a training and coaching company, focusing on teamwork, communication skills, improving productivity and retaining top talent using her highly acclaimed Primary Colors Personality Test™. Dawn is co-founder of Inspiration is the Secret™, a web based company that provides daily parenting and relationship inspirations that promote character and excellence in children and adults, as well as, the creator of the beloved CAPABLES® Parent Tool and Child Development System. www.GetCapables.com Dawn has a passion for making a difference in the lives of children and travels nationally as a parenting and relationship expert and a highly sought after speaker and trainer who specializes in entitlement issues that are currently plaguing our society. Dawn has a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology, while her doctorate studies focused on Organizational Psychology. Dawn is a presenter for the legendary Love and Logic Institute, where she shares with teachers, administrators and counselors secrets on how to inspire children to live the greatness within them. She is the author of over 15 books including Greatness and Children: Learn the Rules, Entitled to Fail, Endowed to Succeed: America’s Journey Back to Greatness, Choose to Be Great Workbook and her classic fable, The Perfect Heart. Contact Dawn ChooseToBeGreat@aol.com 918-605-1492. To learn more visit www.TheHeartLink.com, www.DawnBillings.com, www.TheHeartAlliance.com
Other Books by Dawn L. Billings, M.A., LPC
Top 50 No Cost, No Cost Retention Strategies Choose to Be Great Success Workbook 52 Ways to Create Overflowing Success in Your LifeSuccess Qualities of Endowed LeadersWhat Went Wrong with our Relationship? It started out so Good
The ABC’s of Great Relationships CD Rom workbook The 12 Undeniable Laws of Great Relationships Possibilities II: Stories from the Heart that Feed the Mind
The Primary Color Personality Test The Perfect Heart Entitled to Fail, Endowed to Succeed: America’s Journey Back to Greatness
Greatness and Children: Learn the Rules The ABC’s of Becoming Great
The ABC’s of People Skills What Have You Got to Give? Possibilities: Awakening Your Leadership Potential (featuring: The ABC’s of Great Leadership) To order E-mail Dawn ChooseToBeGreat@aol.com Web sites: www.DawnBillings.com www.GetCapables.com www.TheHeartLinkNetwork.com www.WomenLiftingtheWorld.com www.TheHeartAllicance.com Phone 918-605-1492