Preeminence And The Principled Woman

Finding out she was sleeping with a married man killed our friendship dead. Thankfully we had only recently become friends, but there’s one thing I will definitely not do, and that is be part of betraying the sisterhood.

Had we been friends for years, I would have told her that if she continued to see the married man, then our friendship would cease; until she at least came to the realisation that whilst she continued with the relationship she was adding to the wounding of women, not just now, but for generations to come.

You see, as women we have been divided on so many levels and have become numb to the pain we are causing others as well as ourselves.

We used to bleed together in the red tents of old. We used to live together raising our children, and we used to support one another without fear of inadequacies and betrayal.

We allowed ourselves to be divided, entered into competing against one another for the pleasure of men; and we forgot that the men in our lives are meant to enhance it, not control it.

Being in a relationship these days, for the majority of people means an end to independence, and in a lot of cases, a relationship leads to total dependency.

Our life partners are not the be-all and end-all of our lives, neither are our children, and yet many women speak of their children as being their ‘best friend’.

Our children are not our best friends, and if they are, then we need to consider the levels of codependency and toxicity which lay underneath that.

Having guided 10,000’s of women on their journey back to self to live a life of unlimited possibilities, the one common factor amongst them all is fear of rejection and betrayal, and in almost all of the cases of betrayal, there is another woman as the root cause.

From the best friend in school who betrayed the trust of a deeply private secret shared in confidence, to the discovery of infidelity in our romantic relationships, or the relationship with our mother.

The back stabbing that goes on in the work place to get the coveted prize of promotion, or the female boss who has taken on the role of preventing other women rising above her.

Then there is the competition of bedding the hottest guy in the office or doing our best to outshine the other women in looks, finances and the most perfect home and child. All these have added to the layers of betrayal and inadequacy women experience the world over.

Toxic gossip magazines highlight the less than perfect toned thigh and stomachs of female celebrities and their beach bodies, along with the ‘worst dressed’ woman at the Oscars and the ‘Who wore it best?’ style comparisons.

We have been taught to dislike the natural shape of our bodies, even the very intimate regions of our vaginas. Breast and butt implants are chosen rather than the love of ourselves and vagina sculpting is on the increase.

How is vaginal sculpting any different to female genital mutilation? Both practices involve mutilating our vaginas and both make sure women do not experience depths of pleasure, whether that is the pleasure of the clitoris or the pleasure of loving ourself completely as we are.

These levels of rejection have been compounded over the years, sometimes subtly, sometimes forcefully, and have led to such deep wounds which stop us going after everything we truly desire in life.

Rejection from our parents, friends and our lovers leads to the fear asking for the sales to drive our businesses forward and asking for the higher prices representing our worth. It stops us from asking for help when we need it the most, and from allowing beautiful women in our lives who will celebrate and collaborate with us.

For years I have watched women sabotage themselves and each other, and with each new female I serve with the transformational work I do as an author coach, guiding them in the realms of female leadership, I too have been called forward.

Facilitating a woman to write her life story, whether it is for publication or her own private journey, is indeed a beautiful honour, one I take very seriously. Authoring our life means we get truly present to who we are, the depths of our courage and embodying the greatest power of all – our own personal truth.

Working with women at the very top of their careers, to ladies who lunch and mum’s on the run, has shown me it doesn’t matter which level of status is applied to us, we are all women who have allowed ourselves to be the sacrificial lamb in many areas of our lives – and it all starts with the betrayal within the sisterhood.

Choosing to end a friendship with a woman who’s sleeping with a married man may sound harsh, but if I’m prepared to stand by and watch a woman’s marriage be broken, then it shows a lack of respect for women, the family unit and relationships as a whole. Men only cheat because we as women allow ourselves to be part of the betrayal. If we as women all stood together and refused to betray another woman’s trust by sleeping her man, then men’s options would be reduced.

If we stood together to honour and serve one another, then we wouldn’t compete against each other; instead we’d collaborate and create positive change in the world.

If we stood together and celebrated each other and our successes, we’d lose the fear of being inadequate and would go after everything our hearts desired.

If we chose to boycott the toxic trashy magazines which degrade women in some of the nastiest of ways possibilities, then we wouldn’t feel the need to mutilate our bodies, harming our self-belief and inner beauty.

(And imagine if the celebrities chose to honour themselves and other women by choosing to not be featured in the toxic magazines… that would change the magazine industry overnight!)

Only when we honour each other with higher standards, honourable principles and unwavering support of each other, will we truly rise in the divine feminine, in divine abundance and divine consciousness.

We all have a choice on who we BE, so here are five steps for you to take so you can step into honouring yourself and the divine feminine within us all!

Would love to hear how you get on! With Love, from your very own Ms Mermaid x

Step 1:

Grab a large sheet of paper and create three columns with the words: “My PreEminent Posse” at the top of one column, “My Posse in Progress” at the top of the middle column and “Time for Reflection” at the top of the third column

Step 2:

Make a list of all the women in your life. Which ones inspire and empower you? The ones who make you feel like anything is possible, and those you would trust with your future goals, your children, your lover and your bank cards. Write these in Column 1 “My PreEminent Posse”

In Column 2: Write the names of the women whom you enjoy spending time with, the ones who have your back – whilst also not leading you down the path to pity, drama or gossip. These are the ones whom you love to have around you but are not necessarily calling you forward.

Column 3: These are the ladies in your life who make you feel small, inferior or lead you into gossip and backstabbing. The ones you have doubts about and wouldn’t leave your husband, kids or bank cards alone with.

Looking at the ladies in each column, starting with column 1, are you collaborating with these, and if not why not? Is it just one sided awe or is it a two way street? In column 2 which of these ladies do you want to bring over into Column 1, and which ones are you going to create greatness with? With Column 3 – ask yourself why on earth these ladies are still in your life? Start removing them from your life as quickly as possible.

Step 4:

Now focus on: “My PreEminent Posse” and “My Posse in Progress”. Look at each name andmake a list of ‘Passion Project Possibilities’ you can create together for even greater health,wealth and happiness in all areas of your life, and theirs.

Remember, if you’re not willing to create a passion project with these women or sharedetails of the projects without any doubt or uncertainty coming up, revisit your initial lists, because there are trust issues which need identifying within you, or within your relationships.

Once you’ve created this list, schedule a call with me and let’s go even deeper on what istruly possible for you and your very own PreEminent Posse!

Dawn Bates aka Ms. Mermaid

Human rights, social justice and realfreedom for all are what excites me. It always has done.

I’ve always disliked bullies and I will not stop my relentless mission to give a voice to the voiceless through my books, your books, podcasts and articles until I stop seeing these injustices the world over.

If you are wanting to learn how to create a powerful and profitable legacy, believe you are ready to learn from and with me, collaborate and change the world together, start by reading my books, listening to my podcasts and if what you see here on my website inspires you, send me a message and let’s see where this journey takes us.