The Daily Dispatch - Tuesday, September 29, 2009 by The Daily Dispatch

CMYK U.S. says it has pursued Polanski for decades

Bank suspends activity with ACORN

Cougars prep for grid classic with HMS

World News, Page 3A

Business & Farm, Page 5A

Sports, Page 1B TUESDAY, September 29, 2009

Volume XCV, No. 228

(252) 436-2700

www.hendersondispatch.com

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Candidate’s criminal past arises Council hopeful West’s Fla. drug term over, voting and office-holding rights restored By WILLIAM F. WEST Daily Dispatch Writer

A candidate for the City Council said he does not believe his having felony convictions in Florida will impact his ability to help govern Henderson if elected to the eight-member panel on Tuesday. At the same time, the candidate, Lowell West Jr., when asked by the Dispatch on Monday about whether the electorate would give him a second chance, replied, “I doubt it. I mean, if somebody is

not going to vote for me for that, then they weren’t going to vote for me anyway.” West was West asked by the Dispatch whether he would have any concerns about being able to vote on matters involving law enforcement and on the budget, which involves funding the Police Department. “I’m pro-law enforcement,” West replied. In April 2003, West was

sentenced for attempted armed trafficking of more than 400 grams worth of cocaine and carrying a concealed firearm in Lee County, Fla., whose seat is Fort Myers. A charge of conspiracy to traffic illegal drugs was dropped. West received a five-year prison sentence, which was suspended, but he had to serve 364 days in jail, with 50 days of credit for time already served behind bars. And West had to serve four years of probation. Court records available on-line show that West

was ordered to pay $665 and owes $140. West told the Dispatch the court record is incorrect because he had to pay what he owed as a condition of being placed on probation. West and another man, Vincent Shearin, were arrested in October 2002 as a result of an undercover sting in Lee County. Arrest reports at the time said investigators, posing as illegal drug dealers, met West and Shearin in a parking lot, where Please see WEST, page 4A

Phillp Wayne Coley

Pair swindles local seniors Duo claims to be relatives of victims, ask for money to get disabled vehicle towed By AL WHELESS Daily Dispatch Writer

Calm after the storm

Daily Dispatch/ASHLEY STEVEN AYSCUE

Skies begin to clear enough to glimpse the setting sun after heavy rains and storms moved through the area early Monday night. With clearing skies, autumn weather moves into the area as temperatures will be in the mid-70s for the next few days.

Pedestrians jump on, and off, moving vehicle

Index Our Hometown . . . . . 2A Business & Farm. . . . 5A Opinion . . . . . . . . . . . 6A Light Side . . . . . . . . . 7A Sports. . . . . . . . . . 1-5B Football Contest. . 6-7B Comics . . . . . . . . . . . 8B Classifieds. . . . . . 9-12B

Weather Today Clearing High: 73 Low: 48

Wednesday Warmer High: 75 Low: 50

By AL WHELESS Daily Dispatch Writer

A driver told police two male pedestrians jumped on, and then fell off of, the back of the 2001 Chevrolet he was driving on Lamb Street Sunday when it stopped near Wood Street. According to an investigation report, neither Dakoth James Kittrell, 20, of 132 Lydia Lane, nor his two uninvited passengers were seriously injured in the accident which oc-

Deaths Henderson Beatrice H. Brame Pearl J. Parham, 73 Raymond B. Stevenson, 69 Oxford Louise W. Bibby, 88 Ridgeway Barbara I. Bender, 71 Warrenton Willie M. Turner, 85

Obituaries, 4A

20 mph in a 35 mph speed zone. Speed at “impact” was said to have been 10 mph. No charges were placed against the operator. The report also did not list any charges against Davis and Batchelor. The Chevrolet, which was not damaged, is owned by Vera Luann Kittrell of the same address as the driver. Contact the writer at awheless@hendersondispatch.com.

Detectives are looking for a man and a woman suspected of taking money under false pretenses from half a dozen = local senior citizens as old as 93. Phillip Wayne Coley, 37, and Tammy Dawn Moore, 34, are alleged to have claimed to be related to the victims, and to need money to pay a wrecker service to tow their vehicle stranded on the side of a road. According to Lt. C.O. Pulley of the Henderson Police Department’s Investigations Division, six felony warrants have been taken out for each of the fugitives. He said all of the thefts occurred within the last two weeks. Estimated money stolen in each incident ranged from $80 to $150. The pair have been seen driving a red 1997 Nissan Pathfinder bearing N.C. Registration XWH-2415. Coley was described as white, 5-foot 9, weighing

185, with brown hair and brown eyes. He is blind in his left eye and has “LOVE” tattooed over the fingers of his left hand. Coley might attempt to alter his appearance by changing the length of his hair. Moore is white, 5-foot 6, weighing 145 pounds, with black hair and blue eyes. She has recently dyed her hair black and might be trying to alter her appearance. Moore has a rose tattoo on her left shoulder. Anyone with information on their whereabouts is asked to contact the Henderson Police Department at 438-4141 or Detective Kendall Riddick at 430-2151. Callers can also reach Crime Stoppers at 252492-1925. Tipsters will remain anonymous. Crime Stoppers pays up to $1,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible for the offenses. Contact the writer at awheless@hendersondispatch.com.

Photo/HPD

A pair of local fraud suspects reportedly drive a red Nissan Pathfinder similar to this vehicle shown above. The duo reportedly tricks victims into believing they are relatives of the scammed person, and in need of cash to tow the allegedly disabled vehicle.

Chief asks city to put its trust in police By WILLIAM F. WEST Daily Dispatch Writer

Details, 3A

curred at 6:27 p.m. The pair were identified as Tracy Davis Jr., 11, of 611 Breckenridge St. and Cayton Batchelor, no age given, of 252 Lowry St. The investigator, Officer R.E. Wiggins, reported that neither pedestrian was taken to a hospital by EMS. The report did not state how far the Chevrolet traveled while the two people were on the back of the vehicle. It did estimate that the car was initially traveling

Tammy Dawn Moore

Police Chief Keith Sidwell on Monday evening told the City Council that Henderson needs to unite to help officers fight crime and additionally had a statement for critics he said would use words like “brutality,” “harassment” and “racism.” “And I will tell you that those that come into this council meeting and speak with you — you hear one side of the story,” Sidwell said, not naming names. “And those statements are meant to inflame, not to inform,” Sidwell added. “And every person sitting here is intelligent and knows that there are two sides to every story.” Sidwell made his comments at a Council Public

Safety Committee meeting, which was folded in with a work session following a council meeting. The Sidwell council met for a total of nearly four hours. “Every complaint that comes through our department is aggressively investigated,” Sidwell said. “And I have policies and procedures in place to deal with anyone that would do wrong. “And if you don’t believe it, walk over there (to the police station) and ask anybody that works for me and ask ‘em how heavy my hand is. It is fair, but it is heavy because I will only tolerate good police officers,” Sidwell said. “We have police officers

here that I would put up against anybody in this state,” Sidwell said, noting the officers want to work in Henderson because they believe in the city. “Now, the detractors that would come and try to use smoke and mirrors and thwart our efforts for reducing crime in this community — all I can say to them is, ‘Pick a side’,” Sidwell said. “If you want this community to be the place where you want to raise your children and your grandchildren and stay here, then work with me. Work with me,” Sidwell said. Sidwell added that when he reads police reports every morning, “I never once look at race. I read the body of the report and see what the reasonable suspicion or probable cause is for that

officer taking the action that they did.” And Sidwell said he next determines whether the officer followed departmental procedure. “Once all that is done, there’s nothing to talk about,” Sidwell said. “It’s simply at the end of the day somebody that broke the law and the officer did his or her job. It’s that simple. “And anyone that would cloud issues with anything else is hurting our community,” Sidwell added. “We’ve got everything here. It’s all in place,” Sidwell said, a reference to Interstate 85, the city being along a proposed high-speed railway route and proximity to the Raleigh-Durham International Airport. “What’s holding us back? Ourselves,” Sidwell said.

Sidwell said that officers could arrest persons all day long, but that his concern is with the recidivists. “And I will tell you that the property managers in this city are not the villains that people make ‘em out to be,” Sidwell said. “They’re trying to work with us. They want to do what’s right.” Henderson “did not get in the shape it’s in overnight and it won’t be fixed overnight,” Sidwell said. “But, my question to everyone in this community is: Are you in it for the long haul or are you here just to make a buck and get out? Are you here to make a complaint because you don’t even live here, but it’s fun to keep it stirred?” Sidwell said. Contact the writer at bwest@ hendersondispatch.com.

The Daily Dispatch

Our Hometown

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Deadline extended for senior center beach trip

Mark It Down Today NAACP — Sen. Doug Berger and Charmaine Cooper, executive director of the Carolina Justice Policy Center, will address the Vance County Branch of the NAACP at its meeting at 7 p.m. The group meets at The Gateway Center, 314 S. Garnett St. Members and guests are invited to attend. Quilting event — Join the Heritage Quilters for the Stargaze Quilt Raffle Drawing and Giving Circle kick-off reception at the Warren County Campus of Vance Granville Community College in Warrenton from 5:30-6:30 p.m. in Seminar Room #432, Building 4. For more information, contact Portia Hawes, 2579194, or Jereann King Johnson, jereking@ncol.net.

Wednesday VGCC event — The Franklin County Campus of VanceGranville Community College (VGCC) near Louisburg will hold an event to celebrate the 40th anniversary of VGCC from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 4-6 p.m. (for students who only attend classes during the evening). Stroke support group — The Maria Parham Medical Center Stroke Support Group will meet from 3 to 4:30 p.m. in the Center for Rehab Conference Room of the Brodie Waddill Building at Maria Parham Medical Center. A representative from the Vance County Social Services Department will be speaking about the adult Medicaid program. Stroke survivors, families, friends and caregivers are invited to attend. Please contact Liz Karan at 436-1604 with any questions. Chamber membership drive — The Henderson-Vance County Chamber of Commerce will hold its fall membership drive today from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. Businesses that are not chamber members will be contacted by phone and offered the opportunity to join the organization at a 15 percent discount. For more information, contact the chamber at 438-8414. Wednesday Farmer’s market — The Wednesday Farmer’s Market, located near the track behind the Henderson Family YMCA, 380 Ruin Creek Road, is open from 7:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. selling local produce. The market is sponsored by the YMCA, the Vance County Cooperative Extension Service and Maria Parham Medical Center. Venders interested in selling at the market should contact Wayne Rowland at 438-8188. Oxford Farmers’ Market — The Oxford Farmers’ Market, located on the corner of McClanahan and Lanier streets across from the police station in Oxford, is open from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Thursday Childbirth classes — Prepared childbirth education classes are held at Granville Medical Center, 1010 College St., in Oxford, every Thursday night from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. in the first floor conference room. Women who are scheduled to deliver their babies at any hospital are welcome to attend. To register for the classes, call the Childbirth Education Department at (919) 690-3208. Genealogical society — Dr. Richard L. Taylor will present a program on naming traditions, especially in regard to nicknames, at the Granville County Genealogical Society meeting at 6:30 p.m. in the County Commissioners’ meeting room on Williamsboro Street in Oxford. Members and visitors are invited to attend. American Legion — American Legion Post #176 will meet at the Elks Lodge at 5 p.m. All post members are seriously requested to attend due to the nature of the business being discussed.

Friday Warren Free Clinic — The Warren County Free Clinic will hold its second annual Appreciation and Recognition Banquet from 7-10 p.m. at the Ambassador’s Inn and Suites, 197 Parham Road, Henderson. For more information, call 257-1904. Art event — Art du Jour, 209 E. Nash St. in Louisburg, will be featuring its artist of the month, Julie Cooke, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. She will be demonstrating her jewelry techniques. Those attending will be invited to create their own pieces for a small fee. For more information, please call Art du Jour at (919) 496-1650. Blood drive — Maria Parham Medical Center and the American Red Cross will hold a blood drive from 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. in the classroom and the auditorium of the hospital. Appointments are encouraged, but walk-ins will be taken. Donors need to be at least 17 years old, in good health and weigh at least 110 pounds. Call Lee Anne Peoples at 436-1116 or email her at peoplesl@mphosp.org to schedule an appointment. American Legion — The American Legion Post 60 will hold it regular meeting at 6:30 p.m. at the Legion Hut. All members are requested to attend.

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Creedmoor beautification project completed The City of Creedmoor, in partnership with BB&T, recently placed new benches, trash receptacles, decorative monogrammed planters, and a variety of flowers and plants on Main Street in Creedmoor. A group of employees from the city and BB&T representatives spent the afternoon picking up old planters and trash receptacles and placing the new ones in grouped sets at different points along Main Street. Participating in the project were (front row, left to right) Dave Roesler, City of Creedmoor; Nanette Peddicord, BB&T; Diane Orzechowski, BB&T; Otha Piper, City Commissioner; Jen Dixon, BB&T; Christy Bradley, BB&T; Darryl Moss, mayor of Creedmoor; (back row, from left to right) Tom Mercer, Creedmoor city manager; Patrick Cleary, BB&T; Bill Walton, BB&T; and Tim Karan, City Commissioner. Not pictured: Scottie Cornett-Wilkins, project coodinator with the City of Creedmoor.

Flu shots for seniors wrap up today The Vance County Health Department will administer seasonal flu shots to persons 60 and older at the Vance County Senior Center tomorrow. Pneumonia shots will only be offered to those 65 and older who have never had one before. All other clients will have to see their personal physician for any follow-up pneumonia shots. Appointments will only be scheduled from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Interested

The Henderson-Vance Crime Stoppers are selling tickets for their 2009 Annual Awards Banquet. The banquet, at which local law enforcement officers and community volunteers are recognized, will be held Thursday, Oct. 8, at 6:30 p.m. at South Henderson Pentecostal Holiness Church. Crime Stoppers will be naming the recipients of the Sam Pearson Memorial Crime Stoppers Law Enforcement Award and the Tom Long Memorial Award. Awards will also

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ance such as Humana or Premier will need to get flu and pneumonia shots at a doctor’s office. Shots not covered by Wellpath, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Medicare or Medicaid will be $32 for the flu shot and $50 for the pneumonia shot. Those participating are asked to please wear short sleeves to the appointment. The senior center is located at 126 S. Garnett St., Henderson. For more information, call 430-0257.

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persons should call the senior center at 430-0257 between 8:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. today to register in advance for the shots. Those who receive Medicare Part B (red, white & blue card) or Medicaid should remember to bring their card and the shots will be filed through Medicare or Medicaid. In addition, Wellpath and Blue Cross Blue Shield will be accepted. However, those with any other supplemental insur-

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of the Henderson-Vance Crime Stoppers board of directors. Door prizes will also be awarded.

The Vance County Senior Center is coordinating a trip to Myrtle Beach, S.C., on Friday and Saturday, November 13-14. The chartered bus trip will include one night’s ocean front lodging at Beach Cove Resort, one buffet breakfast, one seafood dinner and Christmas shows at the Alabama Theatre and the Carolina Opry. While traveling, the group will play bingo with prizes, and snacks and drinks will be provided. The cost of the trip is based on the number of people per room. The price per person is as follows: single room: $300; double room: $265; triple room: $250; and quad room: $245. A deposit of $150 per person is required for the trip and due at registration. The final date for all deposits has been extended to Oct. 9. Participants who want to room together must register at the same time to assure the accommodations needed. Final payment is due to the senior center on Oct. 16. The bus will leave at 6 a.m. sharp on Friday, Nov. 13, and return at approximately 10 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 14. Participants will be informed later of the departure location. Interested persons may come to the senior center Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. to register for the trip. The senior center is located at 126 S. Garnett Street. For more information, call the center at 430-0257.

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From Page One

The Daily Dispatch

U.S. says it has pursued Polanski for decades

NATIONAL WEATHER

Shown are noon positions of weather systems and precipitation. Temperature bands are highs for the day. Seattle 58/45 Billings 78/50

Finally arrested, Oscar-winning director admitted sex with child in ’70s, then fled custody

Minneapolis 60/38

Atlanta 72/50 El Paso 91/69

Houston 87/67

Fairbanks 43/29

-0s

Miami 90/74

Honolulu 88/75

Anchorage 45/40

Hilo 83/70

Juneau 50/41

By ANTHONY McCARTNEY AP Entertainment Writer

Washington 70/53

Kansas City 72/51

Los Angeles 75/60

-10s

New York 69/55

Detroit 58/46

Chicago 57/43

Denver 82/52

San Francisco 65/52

10s

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Showers Rain T-storms Snow Flurries

50s

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Ice

80s

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Stationary front

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FIVE-DAY FORECAST FOR HENDERSON TODAY

TONIGHT

WEDNESDAY

75°

73°

48°

Breezy with sunshine

Mainly clear and cool

Mostly sunny and pleasant

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

50°

75°

79°

51°

60°

59°

Sunny and pleasant

Pleasant with clouds and sun

Mostly cloudy

ALMANAC

SUN AND MOON

Temperature

Sunrise today ........................... Sunset today ............................ Moonrise today ........................ Moonset today ......................... Sunrise tomorrow ..................... Sunset tomorrow ...................... Moonrise tomorrow .................. Moonset tomorrow ...................

Raleigh-Durham through 6 p.m. yest. High .................................................... 86° Low ..................................................... 55° Normal high ........................................ 78° Normal low ......................................... 56° Record high ............................ 95° in 1998 Record low .............................. 38° in 1947

Full

Last

New

First

Oct 4

Oct 11

Oct 18

Oct 25

REGIONAL WEATHER Shown is today’s weather. Temperatures are today’s highs and tonight’s lows

WinstonSalem

Asheville

Henderson

Greensboro

73/48

Rocky Mt.

74/50

70/47

70/49

68/45

Durham

Raleigh

72/47

Charlotte

74/48

Cape Hatteras

Fayetteville

74/46

7:07 a.m. 7:00 p.m. 4:36 p.m. 2:35 a.m. 7:08 a.m. 6:59 p.m. 5:03 p.m. 3:34 a.m.

Moon Phases

Precipitation 24 hours through 6 p.m. yest. ......... 0.00” Month to date .................................. 3.13” Normal month to date ..................... 4.00” Year to date ................................... 26.11” Normal year to date ...................... 33.60”

76/60

76/49

LAKE LEVELS

Wilmington

78/52

Elevation in feet above sea level. Data as of 7 a.m. yesterday. 24-Hr. Lake Capacity Yest. Change Gaston 203 199.64 +0.02 Kerr 320 294.48 +0.16

24-Hr. Capacity Yest. Change 240 212.80 +0.05 264 248.43 +0.10

Lake Jordan Neuse Falls

REGIONAL CITIES Today

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Today

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Asheville Boone Burlington Chapel Hill Chattanooga Danville Durham Elizabeth City Elizabethton Fayetteville Goldsboro Greensboro Greenville Havelock Hendersonville

68 60 70 71 68 70 72 76 62 76 74 70 74 76 69

High Point Jacksonville Kinston Lumberton Myrtle Beach Morehead City Nags Head New Bern Raleigh Richmond Roanoke Rapids Rocky Mount Sanford Wilmington Winston-Salem

70 77 76 78 78 75 76 77 74 72 73 74 75 78 70

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Weather (W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain, sf-snow flurries, sn-snow, i-ice

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Roman Polanski before Saturday. The timing of the director’s arrest “certainly appears unusual,” Berg said, especially since Polanski spent the summer at his house in Switzerland. Polanski, who has been shooting “The Ghost” in Germany for the past six months, was in plain sight, Berg added. “How hard would it be to find someone shooting a major film in a European country?” Berg asked. “He travels with transparency across Europe. It makes no sense.” The director had pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl while photographing her during a modeling session. He was sent to prison for 42 days but then the judge tried to renege on the plea bargain. On the day of his sentencing in 1978, aware the judge would sentence him to more prison time, Polanski fled to France. Prosecutors released a list of their efforts to nab Polanski after he left the United States. Those efforts included requesting arrest warrants in England, Thailand, France and Israel since 1978. Polanski has been the subject of an INTERPOL “red notice” for years, said Chief Inspector Thomas Hession of the U.S. Marshals Service, which has a Los Angeles-based task force that requested the Polanski warrant last week. The notice tells other countries that the person is wanted for a specific crime, and that the U.S. is willing to seek that person’s extradition if the suspect is caught.

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He added that Polanski does not have interest in working in the United States, primarily because his family is in Europe and there are plenty of filmmaking opportunities there. Polanski seems likely to spend several months in detention while a complicated legal process plays out. Under a 1990 accord between Switzerland and the United States, Washington has 60 days to submit a formal transfer request, which must first be examined by the Swiss Justice Ministry and can be appealed at a number of courts. Polanski has asked a California appeals court to overturn a judge’s refusal to throw out his case. He claims misconduct by the now-deceased judge who had arranged a plea bargain and then reneged on it. The director’s attorneys also sought to have the case tossed out after the release of the HBO documentary, “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired,” detailed the judge’s actions. If he is returned to Los Angeles, Polanski could continue his fight for dismissal. A Superior Court judge has already stated his belief there was “substantial misconduct” in the handling of the original case, but the effort has been stymied by Polanski’s fugitive status. Polanski could also seek to withdraw his guilty plea, a move that would hamper prosecutors’ efforts to continue with the case. Prosecutors have declined to say what sentence they would seek if Polanski comes before the court. And Polanski’s victim, who is now an adult and married, has asked for the case to be dismissed. She cannot be forced to testify against the director.

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LOS ANGELES — With Roman Polanski under arrest in Switzerland, American prosecutors Monday disputed a claim by the director that they had never tried to nab him after he fled overseas to escape sentencing on charges he had sex with an underage girl. The Los Angeles County district attorney’s office said it had multiple contacts with several countries in efforts to arrest the Academy Award-winning filmmaker, including once with Israel as recently as 2007. Polanski’s arrest in Switzerland on Saturday sparked an international outcry from prominent European supporters and drew questions about why American authorities chose to act now even though Polanski has been living and working openly in Europe for decades. In a statement, authorities challenged recent court filings by Polanski’s lawyers that suggested he had not been arrested because doing so could draw attention to alleged misconduct by prosecutors. “The District Attorney’s Office in the 30 years since Mr. Polanski left the jurisdiction, has not once sought to have him extradited,” the attorneys wrote in a July filing. “If it had, there would have been a hearing regarding the misconduct in this case.” Jean Rosenbluth, a University of Southern California law professor and a former federal prosecutor, said Polanski’s allegations “probably brought him back onto the prosecutor’s radar screen. The only way to resolve this is to have Mr. Polanski come back here.” “Prosecutors are people too. If you thumb your nose at them, they might thumb their nose back,” she said. She questioned prosecutors’ decision to discuss the steps they took. “I think it’s a lose-lose situation,” she said. “When the public sees gaps of years between instances, I don’t think the public will feel they were trying that hard.” Polanski’s agent, Jeff Berg, said he was aware of no efforts to arrest Polanski

Hession said Polanski’s arrest came now because authorities had the advance knowledge and the opportunity. He denied any suggestion law enforcement officials passed over similar opportunities in previous years. “The idea that we have known where he is and we could have gotten him anytime, that just isn’t the case,” Hession said. “We have to do it legally. We have to know somebody is in that location before we ask that country to do something.” In a February 2005 deposition, Deputy District Attorney Richard Doyle, one of three Los Angeles prosecutors who has handled the director’s case, said he believed Polanski knew how to evade arrest. “He knows where he can go. He knows where he can’t go,” Doyle said. “He’s been a careful man all these years.” On Monday, France and Poland urged Switzerland to free him on bail and pressed U.S. officials all the way up to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Polanski has told Swiss officials that he will contest a U.S. request that he be returned to the United States. “He was shocked, dumbfounded, but he is in a fighting mood and he is very determined to defend himself,” Polanski attorney Herve Temime said in an e-mail. Temime said Polanski’s legal team would try to prove that the American extradition request was illegal and that the Oscar-winning director should be released from Swiss custody. Berg said he had spoken with Polanski’s wife, who said her husband remains strong and optimistic. “I think he would like to close this chapter,” Berg said.

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Local & State

The Daily Dispatch

Deaths Barbara I. Bender RIDGEWAY — Barbara I. Bender, 71, died Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009, at Warren Hills Nursing Center. She was a Warren County native born to the late Arnold Bender and Elizabeth Paynter Bender. She was a lifelong member of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church. Funeral services will be conducted at 2 p.m. Wednesday at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church with burial to follow in the church cemetery. Surviving are two children, Janet Bender Perry of Wendell and William Lee Bender of Ridgeway; her eight sisters, Janet Godwin of New Bern, Eunice Tucker of Ridgeway, Regina Riley of Dundock, Md., Edna Neal of Ridgeway, Catherine Naylor of Concord, Marie Eden of Phelon, Calif., Freida Egerton of Ridgeway and Margret Deake of Manson; her two brothers, Albert Bender and Willie Bender, both of Ridgeway; and a grandchild. Pallbearers will be Bobby Ray West, Colby West, Henry Dortch, Henry Neal, Tommy Tucker and Victor Tucker. Memorials may be made to St. Paul’s Lutheran Church. The family will receive friends from 7-9 p.m. today at Blaylock Funeral Home. Arrangements are by Blaylock Funeral Home of Warrenton.

Louise W. Bibby OXFORD — Louise Winston Bibby, 88, of 916 Raleigh St., died Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009, at the University Hospital. She was the daughter of the late

West and Shearin agreed to purchase $14,000 worth of cocaine. According to the reports, when investigators asked West and Shearin their specific intentions, Shearin replied, “We are taking Mike Inscoe, left, is the current it (the cocaine) to North Ward 2 at-large councilman. Carolina.” Bobby Gupton, right, is a former Authorities arrested the councilman who filed to regain men on the spot and seized his seat this season, but has four firearms and nearly withdrawn from the campaign $23,800. Willie M. Turner due to health reasons. West had been the prohis citizenship rights were WARRENTON — Willie prietor of Kwik Kash along Dabney Drive. restored in November 2007. Mae Turner, 85, of War“I still own stuff, sort of,” When Gill provided candirenton, died Thursday, West told the Dispatch on date filings to the Dispatch Sept. 24, 2009, at Warren Monday. “I used to own a lot at the newspaper’s request, Hills Nursing Facility in of real estate and most of it she did so by e-mail and Warrenton. is gone now. I mean, some of by giving the candidates’ Funeral services were it had to be sold to take care names, ages, addresses and conducted at 11 a.m. of the problems in Florida.” phone numbers and the Monday at Jones Chapel Of West’s criminal backpositions being sought. Baptist Church in Norground, he told the Dispatch, West is seeking election lina. The Rev. Phyllis T. “I was hoping I was going to to the Ward 2 At Large posiRoyal officiated and burial make it through this thing tion held by Michael Inscoe, followed in the church without it coming, nobody a consultant who is completpointing it out. I mean, I cemetery. ing a two-year term. didn’t try to hide it. She is survived by a A third candidate in the “I was shocked it didn’t daughter, Phyllis T. Royal contest, Bobby Gupton, a forcome out from the beginof Raleigh; three sons, mer councilman, last week ning,” West added. John D. Turner of Warannounced his intention Vance County Elections to withdraw, citing health renton, Vincent Turner Director Faye Gill said West reasons. of Warrenton and Dexter was required by North CaroE. Turner of Warrenton; lina law to disclose his being Contact the writer at bwest@ a sister, Adeline Durham hendersondispatch.com. a convicted felon and to say of Henderson; a brother, James Douglas Jones of Warrenton; nine grandchildren; and nine greatgrandchildren. The body was on view Sunday from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. at Boyd’s Funeral Service Chapel in Warrenton. Protecting Your Legal Rights Arrangements are by In spite of the best efforts of government agencies, nursing Boyd’s Funeral Service of home patient abuse and neglect continues. If you know of Warrenton. someone who has been seriously abused or neglected,

Beatrice H. Brame HENDERSON — Beatrice H. Brame, of 433 W. Rockspring St., died Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009, at Maria Parham Medical Center. Funeral arrangements are incomplete and will be announced later by William Funeral Home of Henderson.

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HENDERSON — Raymond Bat Stevenson, 69, of 171 Lynn Haven Ave., died Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009. Funeral services will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday in the J.M. White Funeral

GREENSBORO (AP) — Thunderstorms passing through central North Carolina knocked out power to about 11,000 customers, but there were no immediate reports of injuries or damages. The News and Record of Greensboro reported approximately 11,000 residential and business customers were without power Monday night. Duke Energy reported on its Web site late Monday night that about 11,000 customers were without power in portions of its North Carolina coverage area. Of those, 9,897 were in Guilford County, which includes Greensboro. The utility didn’t say how many of the 11,000 outages were related to the weather. Assistant Fire Chief David Douglas of the Greensboro Fire Department said a Duke Energy representative said that a tree fell into a major power substation. Duke Energy crews were trying to clear the area and restore power.

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Home Chapel. The family will receive friends Wednesday from 7-8:30 p.m. at J.M. White Funeral Home. At other times they will be at the home of Tim and Balinda Stevenson at 558 Wakefield Ave. Other arrangements will be announced by J.M. White Funeral Home.

Neam Winston Sr. and Mattie Daniel Winston. She was a retired educator. Funeral services will be conducted at 2 p.m. Wednesday at First Baptist Church by the Rev. Lacy Joyner. Entombment will be in Sunset Gardens. She is survived by a brother, Neam Winston Jr. of Washington, D.C. The family will receive visitors Wednesday at 12:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church. The viewing will be today from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. at Wright Funeral Home. Arrangements are by Wright Funeral Home.

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252-492-6004

Business & Farm

The Daily Dispatch

Bank suspends dealings with ACORN housing entity WASHINGTON (AP) — Bank of America Corp. is suspending its work with the housing affiliate of embattled community organizing group ACORN. The decision comes as three Republicans in Congress ask Bank of America and 13 other financial institutions to give Congress a complete accounting of their dealings with the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now or its affiliates. In a statement, Bank of America said it would not enter into any further agreements with ACORN Housing Corp. until the bank is satisfied all issues have been resolved. ACORN Housing Corp. and Bank of America have worked together for years on mortgage foreclosure issues. “We completely understand why our lending partners like Bank of America want assurances that the recent allegations against us won’t happen again,”

ACORN Housing Corp. said Monday. “We are taking a number of steps to ensure this, including providing ethics training to all of our staff.” Long a target of conservative critics, ACORN employees were caught on videotape recently giving advice to a woman posing as a prostitute and to a man posing as her pimp about cheating on taxes and operating a brothel with underage immigrant girls. The Wall Street Journal first reported on Bank of America pulling back from working with ACORN Housing Corp. On Friday, GOP Reps. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, Darrell Issa of California and Lamar Smith of Texas sent a letter to 14 banks requesting disclosure to the House Financial Services Committee of all financial arrangements with ACORN and its subsidiaries or affiliates. Each of the three

congressmen is the ranking Republican on a House panel: Bachus on the House Financial Services Committee, Issa on the Oversight and Government Reform Committee and Smith on the Judiciary Committee. “The Republicans are trying to intimidate banks that have stepped up to help stop the foreclosure crisis,” said ACORN chief executive Bertha Lewis. “These same Republicans ignored ACORN’s warnings about predatory lending and the foreclosure crisis, then gave Wall Street free rein and are now obstructing efforts to help families.” Citibank, another bank receiving the letter from the three House Republicans, said in a statement that “we are deeply concerned about the recently released videos of frontline ACORN staff.” Citibank said it looks forward to the findings of an independent auditor and a timely resolution of the matter.

Area

A DAY ON WALL STREET 9,000 8,000 7,000

+124.17 J

Pct. change from previous: +1.28%

High 9,823.67

Larry Ferracci, MV Agusta’s director of U.S. operations, said the bikes mark a big step for the oncestruggling motorcycle maker. He said the company’s acquisition by Harley gives MV Agusta deeper pockets

to keep developing new products, several more of which it will roll out soon. Ferracci also said the company is looking to expand its U.S. dealer base from the 40 it has now to 50 or 55 in the next 12 to 18 months

Henderson’s Raleigh Road

Indoor Antique

6,000

Low 9,663.23 2,400

Nasdaq composite

2,200 2,000 1,800 1,600

+39.82 2,130.74

High 2,139.27

Pct. change from previous: +1.9%

Sept. 28, 2009

+18.60 1,062.98

High 1,065.13

Pct. change from previous: +1.78%

1,400

Low 2,101.43

Standard & Poor’s 500 S

1,200 1,100 1,000 900 800 700 600

Low 1,045.38

SOURCE: SunGard

MARKET ROUNDUP 092809: Market charts show Dow, S&P 500, and urrencies etals Nasdaq; stand-alone; 2c x 4 1/2 inches; 96 mm x 114 mm; staff

& M

NEW YORK (AP) — Key ex- as of: 5:25:01 AluminumPM -$0.8325 per lb., N.Y. Merc spot Editors: Allcurrency figures EDT Fri.close; may not match other AP content change Monday: NOTE:rates Figures reflect market fluctuations after Copper -$2.7660 Cathode full plate, U.S. destinations. Dollar vs: ExchgRate PvsDay Copper $2.7140 N.Y. Merc spot Fri. Yen 89.73 89.90 Lead - $2158.00 metric ton, London Metal Euro $1.4591 $1.4665 Exch. Pound $1.5869 $1.5938 Zinc - $0.8731 per lb., delivered. Swiss franc 1.0341 1.0299 Gold - $991.75 Handy & Harman (only daily Canadian dollar 1.0874 1.0922 quote). Mexican peso 13.4900 13.5270 Gold - $992.50 troy oz., NY Merc spot Fri. Metal Price PvsDay Silver - $16.260 Handy & Harman (only NY Merc Gold $992.50 $990.20 daily quote). Silver - $16.173 troy oz., N.Y. Merc spot Fri. NY HSBC Bank US $990.00 $990.00 NY Merc Silver $16.173 $16.038 Mercury - $550.00 per 76 lb flask, N.Y. Platinum -$1283.00 troy oz., N.Y. (contract). Nonferrous Platinum -$1286.00 troy oz., N.Y. Merc spot NEW YORK (AP) — Spot nonferrous metal Fri. n.q.-not quoted, n.a.-not available r-revised prices Monday:

MV Agusta unveils first new motorcycle models in 10 years NEW YORK (AP) — Italian motorcycle maker MV Agusta Group unveiled its first new models in 10 years on Monday, saying its purchase by motorcycle giant Harley-Davidson Inc. last year is beginning to pay off. The two new bikes — new versions of its Brutale sport bikes — are geared toward younger, affluent riders interested in MV Agusta’s sporty performance rides. The 2010 Brutale 990R has a 990cc engine and will be priced at $15,000 when it goes on sale in the U.S. at the end of this year or early next year. The 2010 Brutale 1090R has a more powerful engine and will cost $18,000.

Sept. 28, 2009

Stocks

10,000

Sept. 28, 2009

Dow Jones industrials 9,789.36

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Listed below are representative interdealer quotations at approximately 4 p.m. Monday from the National Association of Securities Dealers. Prices do not include retail mark-up, mark-down or commission. ACS 53.86 ATT 27.43 Ball Corp. 50.21 BankAmerica 17.22 BB&T 27.97 Coca-Cola 53.13 CVS 34.88 Duke Energy 15.94 Exxon 69.59 Ford 7.49 General Elec. 16.76 Motors Liquidation 0.71 Home Depot 27.26 IBM 119.33 Johnson & Johnson 61.27 Kennametal 24.38 Krispy Kreme 3.49 Louisiana Pacific 7.02 Lowes 21.25 Lucent Tech. 4.55 Pepsico 59.03 Phillip Morris 17.67 Procter & Gamble 58.16 Progress Energy 39.66 RF Micro Dev 5.52 Royal Bk Can 53.50 RJR Tobacco 45.18 Revlon 4.80 Sprint 3.92 Sun Trust 22.58 Universal 42.64 Verizon Comm. 30.35 Vulcan 54.60 Wal-Mart 49.50 Wells Fargo 28.90 Wendy’s 4.92 Establis Delhaize 70.20

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Opinion

The Daily Dispatch

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The problem with tailgating

Editorial Board: James Edwards, Publisher Glenn Craven, Editor

jedwards@hendersondispatch.com gcraven@hendersondispatch.com

Don Dulin, News Editor ddulin@hendersondispatch.com

304 S. Chestnut St./P.O. Box 908 Henderson, N.C. 27536 PHONE: 436-2700/FAX: 430-0125

Daily Meditation Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell. Proverbs 9:17-18

Our Opinion

A candidate, his past, the present and future In a town and county where voters on more than one occasion have voted for “change” on the City Council — yet have shown a willingness to keep electing people who are behind on their taxes to decide how to spend our collected taxes — this one’s a first. A candidate for Henderson City Council has a serious felony conviction. Lowell West, who is running for the Ward 2 at-large seat held by Mike Inscoe, was convicted in Florida in 2003 for a 2002 incident in which he and an accomplice attempted to purchase cocaine from federal agents. It isn’t unreasonable to believe those drugs were headed back to Vance County. A concealed weapons charge also was levied against West at the time. Although there’s apparently some discrepancy between Florida court records and West’s recollections regarding a small amount of cash owed as a fine in the case, West has done his time for the crime. He returned to North Carolina, taking advantage of a state law that allows felons who fulfill the terms of their sentences to regain lost voting rights. And with the renewal of voting rights, comes eligibility as a candidate. West has decided that he wants to serve Henderson on its city council. He completed all the necessary filing paperwork at the Vance County Board of Elections, including full disclosure of his crime and sentence. He attempted to hide nothing, and in an interview for a story today said he was surprised his record didn’t come out sooner. West also wasn’t particularly forthcoming, and perhaps it would have been best for him to approach the newspaper, remind us from the start of his troubles, and perhaps explain how his candidacy is part of turning over new leaf. But that’s hindsight. What we’re all left with is to determine what we think of West’s candidacy in light of his conviction, and his effort to make a positive difference in the community instead. And that, readers and voters, we’ll leave entirely up to you.

Quotable “We are going to respond to any military action in a crushing manner and it doesn’t make any difference which country or regime has launched the aggression.” — Gen. Hossein Salami, head of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Air Force in a statement to state media after Iran test-fired short range missiles. “Very clearly I want to say that if the government does not form a clear strategy to bring peace and security, and the situation continues like this, I will not participate in the Cabinet anymore.” — Afghan Energy Minister Ismail Khan, threatening to quit after a suicide car bomb attack targeted him. “Four cameras in four different locations going blank at basically the same time on the morning of April 19, 1995. There ain’t no such thing as a coincidence.” — Salt Lake City attorney Jesse Trentadue, in a statement after saying secret security tapes he obtained showing the chaos immediately after the 1995 bombing of the Oklahoma City federal building are blank in the minutes before the blast and appear to have been edited.

The video featured two attractive women. It ran on YouTube. It was shot by an onlooker. It was viewed thousands of times. At this point, you’re no doubt thinking “sex,” so let me assure you the women kept their clothes on. Unfortunately, that was the only ladylike thing about them. On the video, they appeared intoxicated, were swearing like sailors, got in fights, then pushed, shoved and cursed until security guards finally took them away, one in handcuffs. This was not a women’s penitentiary. It was a football game. A Detroit Lions game. Now, you can argue that watching the Lions could make anyone go ballistic. But I’m guessing these women, like so many other football fans, were halfway hammered before the game ever began. And you could shoot a video like this every Sunday.

A game-day tradition Look, it’s bad enough that most NFL games begin at 1 p.m. and that people line up for beers before the kickoff.

But with tailgating, many fans are blotto before they hand over their tickets. (One day, we’ll have to explain to Martians this tradition of arriving hours before a game, sitting in cold parking lots, grilling fatty foods Mitch between Albom bumpers of pickup Tribune Media trucks, and Services swigging beers in fold-up chairs, at which point the Martians will race to their spaceships to fly out of here, pronto.) Make no mistake. The fists may fly in the stands. But they get lubricated in the parking lots. This will not make me popular with Budweiser, Miller, Coors or millions of drinkers, but what is the point of going to a football game for the express purpose of getting wasted? It’s one thing to be out at night and one beer leads to another. But when you get up at 8

a.m., drive to a parking lot by 9 a.m. and are three beers deep by 10 a.m., you have a problem. And it shouldn’t be everyone else’s problem. Yet it is. And I blame the teams — pro and college. By encouraging a seven-hour drinking day, football now sees its stadiums marred with behavior like last week’s YouTube moment. When you watch this sad debacle, you see how two guards have to struggle to get one enraged woman under control. It’s not easy. People are all around, getting bumped, getting angry, making threats. And that’s just one woman! You can imagine when five or six burly guys are blitzed to the point of engagement. In stadiums with upper levels, railings and long steps, we flirt with disaster every week.

A call to action But it never stops. You even think about cutting tailgating and the populace rises up in arms. Last year I read some angry letters to the editor when a San Diego stadium dared to cut tailgating down from five hours to four hours

prior to the game. Five hours to four? Now I’m not saying that some people — maybe most — don’t handle tailgating well. They do. They eat, laugh, maybe drink, but keep it under control. But if you’ve ever been in the stands — especially with a child — and heard the drunken swearing, the threats, the bellowing or worse, been doused with beer or sprinkled with vomit, then you know the minority very much ruin it for the majority. Which is why the NFL should take action. You want to sit in a parking lot, eat, laugh, go ahead. But no drinking. That’s right. I said it. No drinking. It’s not a God-given right. It’s their parking lot. They can do what they want. Not so long ago, there used to be blue laws that outlawed alcohol on Sundays. I’m not saying everyone needs to be in church. But when loaded, wasted, hammered and blitzed are the words people now associate with Sunday mornings, there’s a problem. And when it winds up in the stands — and then on YouTube — it’s everybody’s problem.

Letters to the Editor Curfew opportunity missed years ago Dear editor: I happened to be on Andrews Avenue shortly before the murder occurred Sept. 13. It was a scary feeling just sitting at the stoplight at the water tower where the bicycle and foot travel was heavy. I can remember when we would shop at the Buy Rite grocery and then go down to the Saveway. It was such a nice neighborhood with beautiful homes and people were not afraid to travel that street. But, now it’s different for everyone in Henderson and Vance County and I keep wondering what is it going to take to stop the madness. I want to say something that is probably going to offend a lot of people, but please take it to heart. If we don’t do something about our young people, and do “Mickey Mouse” and other ques- it now, there will be more and tionable celebrities. Yet more more funerals to attend. than 80 percent of those stories When a child is born, they failed to mention that there is have at least one parent and, if no record, for example, of Mister lucky, two, along with two sets “Mouse” actually casting a vote of grandparents. The family and almost all of the other allehas at least three to four years gations proved to be unfounded, to form this child into someone too. who is corrected when they do You may recall, in fact, that or say anything inappropriate, failure to find cases of voter punished if necessary, taught fraud to prosecute led to the right from wrong and to respect controversial firing of some U.S. human life. attorneys under pressure from They then are put into President Bush’s political czar the school system with staff Karl Rove. That does not excuse that teaches them reading, the stupid, immoral and possibly writing and arithmetic. They criminal assistance that several are taught to raise their hand ACORN staffers were caught on to speak and to follow school video offering to the young pimp- policy and if they do misbehave, and-ho duo. But it does offer a should be headed to the prinvaluable lesson: When people are cipal’s office as it was so many out to get you, try not to hand years ago. The parents were them more ammunition. then called to intercede. It is somewhat reassuring By the time they reach the that the video pranksters report- seventh grade, if they do not edly were turned away at some have the above values in place, offices, including two that actuthe children are already lost. ally reported the phony clients to When I read the paper and the police. It is also comforting to see that another (young) life know that ACORN immediately was snuffed out by violence, I fired the offending employees realize that there had been a and has since hired Scott Harsh- third opportunity in our city barger, a former Massachusetts over 10 years ago to put a curattorney general, to conduct few in place and get the youth what he calls a “robust, no-holds- under 18 age off the street at barred” and transparent review. a decent hour and hold their Nevertheless, ACORN parents accountable for their brought most of their troubles on behavior. Some of these youth themselves long before conserva- that are dying so young and in tives piled on. The group’s enor- such a vicious way, or falling mous growth since its humble into other criminal behavior, start around a kitchen table would have been around 9 or in 1970 has brought scandal, 10 years old at that time. So financial calamity and internal the third failure was with the rifts over charges of bad manage- mayor, the sitting city council ment. They were an inviting tar- at that time and the then-police get for political adversaries. Now chief who saw no problems their big embarrassment sends with our youth within our city the worst possible picture to the and refused to initiate a curfew. world of low-income Americans, It is now too little and too the very people whom ACORN late to turn back the clock. was trying to help. There is no need to keep asking the question “What is happenE-mail Clarence Page at cpage@ ing with our youth?” when it is tribune.com, or write to him c/o staring everyone in the face. Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, Nancy O. Bell, NY 14207. Henderson

ACORN armed its enemies Never underestimate the power of a 20-year-old woman in hot pants. Just hook her up with an apple-cheeked young man dressed as a sort of preppie pimp, add a video camera and send them off for a chat with some dimwitted neighborhood financial counselors for ACORN. Stir in enough chutzpah to make Borat look like a shrinking violet and you’ve got one heckuva scandal. Young conservative activists, James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles, hardened up their freshfaced looks just enough to pose as a pimp and prostitute seeking advice at ACORN offices on setting up a brothel. Their hiddencamera videos have provided a bonanza of what President Obama characterizes as “catnip” for commentators and late-night comedians. They’ve also spurred Washington’s usually sluggish funding gears to spin into warp drive. The Democratic Congress and Washington’s bureaucracy have cut off funds to ACORN for such work that includes tax advice, housing counseling and census taking. Suddenly an activist organization that used to beg for media attention to the issues for which it campaigned is receiving an abundance of the sort of attention that nobody wants. Of course, you’d never guess that from the hyperventilated claims of conservative talk show hosts who regard ACORN, the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, to be a bigger menace than the swine flu. Most of the right’s recent obsession with ACORN, which was founded in 1970 in Arkansas as an organization for poor people, does not grow out of concern for poor people. It grows largely out of a faint hope that bringing down ACORN, the nation’s largest community organization, will help them to bring down President Obama. Back in

1995, young Harvard Law grad Barack Obama helped ACORN and a team of Chicago attorneys — along with the U. S. Department of Justice — win a lawsuit forcing the state of Illinois to implement the federal “motorvoter” bill. The organization and the former community organizer have not had much contact since, other than connections that have been alleged or exaggerated Clarence by conservative media. Page Yet mere Tribune Media mention of Services ACORN can transform Fox News’ Glenn Beck into Howard Beale, the deranged commentator in “Network” who leads the nation in shouting, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.” “Right now, get off the couch,” Beck demanded in a recent broadcast. “While I’m talking, you pick up the phone. You call the newspaper.” If ACORN isn’t a top priority with your newspaper, he said, “then what the hell are they good for?” Yet, conservatives underestimate their successes in framing this debate long before Hannah put on her hot pants. Most ACORN coverage in major media has been overwhelmingly negative, according to a recently released study by Peter Dreier, a professor of politics at Occidental College, and Christopher R. Martin, a professor of journalism at University of Northern Iowa. Of the 647 newspaper and broadcast news stories about ACORN that they found in 2007 and 2008, most were on allegations of massive voter registration fraud against the organization. Some of the names included

DEAR ABBY: The day before my wedding, my fiance’s aunt left me a gift. After the wedding I opened it and read the card that was enclosed. It was lingerie, which seemed like a well-intentioned gift. The card, however, was a bit puzzling. Turns out the lingerie was her own, and slightly used. On the card she said it had been “only used a few times.” It struck meclient as inappropriate to receive “used” (and wrong-sized) lingerie

DEAR ABBY: With the support of my friend “Lynn,” I left “Stephanie,” my wife of 17 years — after she admitted to more than two dozen affairs over the course of our marriage. I am now in a relationship with Lynn and very happy. My problem is my kids think I left Stephanie for Lynn because that is what their mother has told them. As much as I despise what my wife has done, I would never tell them the truth. I tell them Mommy and Daddy had their “differences,” but they know there is more to the story. Please advise. — ALMOST HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN UTAH DEAR ALMOST: Mommy and Daddy did, indeed, have their differences. And there is also more to the story. If Lynn hadn’t been there supporting you, would you still be tolerating Stephanie’s serial infidelity? If the answer is yes, then in a sense, you did leave Stephanie for Lynn, which may have been healthier for all concerned. But since your children already know there is more to the story, tell them you’ll tell them the rest of it when they are older if they still want will fill to know. And when they’re adults, if they do, follow through.

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from a new aunt-in-law. However, I do believe she was well-intentioned. Abby, her gift made me uncomfortable. Am I wrong in thinking it was inappropriate? Any thoughts on how to write a thank-you card for such a gift? — FLUMMOXED IN THE USA DEAR FLUMMOXED: This new relative may be a “character,” or she may not have had the means to buy you a wedding gift and gave you the nicest thing she could come up with. My advice is to be gracious. Do not tell her the lingerie is the wrong size or criticize it in any way. Simply say: “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. Your kindness and thoughtfulness are appreciated, and I look forward to getting to know you in the years to come.”

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DEAR ABBY: I need your help badly. I am 39 years old and live with my mother due to a physical disability. Mom becomes violent when she gets mad or upset. If she’s having a bad day, I can expect her to be in my face (literally). She yells and screams, and if I refuse to yell back at her or try to ignore her — the only way I know how to deal with the situation — she gets even madder. I have suggested counseling, but she insists that she is fine and that I’m the one who needs the help. What do I do? I can’t keep on this way, and I am unable to go Dear anywhere. Abby — CAN’T U niversal Press STAND S yndicate THE VIOLENCE DEAR CAN’T: Your mother is an emotional mess, but she is half-right. You DO need help. And the place you can get it is the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA). It’s an organization that has been around for 20 years — and has members in all 50 states as well as Canada. Here’s how to find them: Go to www. apsnetwork.org. Next, click on “Report Abuse,” then click on your state. Your mother needs help, too, and the people at Adult Protective Services can help her face that reality. Please write again and let me know how you’re doing. I care.

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Today’s Birthdays: Jacopo Tintoretto, Italian artist (1518-1594); Robert Clive, English soldier-statesman (1725-1774); Horatio Nelson, British admiral (17581805); Enrico Fermi, Italian physicist (1901-1954); Enver Pasa, Turkish soldier (18811922); Anita Ekberg, Swedish actress (1931--); Lech Walesa, Polish president and Nobel Peace Prize winner (1943--). Thought For Today: Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in our own sunshine — Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist and poet (1803-1882).

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