issue #4 • december 2018
a Conversation with Sharon Kirstin: THE ANSWERS WITHIN
BULIMIA FREE with Julie Kerr
Kerin Briscese body + mind + soul
Julie Theis
Master Your Mind | Master Your Life
Laikipia: Exquisite Accommodations and Game-Rich Plains
her story
what’s inside...
ISSUE NO 4
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STEM QUEENS:
A Platform for African Girls and Women in STEM
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Dr. Comfort Momoh MBE
Laikipia:
In the Kitchen with Andreea
Exquisite Accommodations and Game Rich Plains
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29 10
Bulimia Free with Julie Kerr
Jo-Ann Hamilton
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The Jetson’s Future We Didn’t Plan For
66 Don’t Throw it All Away
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A Conversation with Sharon Kirstin 49
Julie Theis
42 Paying It Forward with the Multiplier Effect 16
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Welcome to my table...
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Marisa Santoro
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Eva Arissani
Kerin Briscese
a letter from
THE EDITOR
It’s been an interesting year with so much unfolding internationally with regards to women inequality, due to the rise of accessible unedited media which has allowed us to witness the real effects of inequality. We are living in very exciting times, where women’s voices are beginning to be heard. However it’s key to ensure that our voice has clarity, authority and no compromise with changes we want to see. In the next few years we will have greater opportunities to share our stories and be part of historic policy changes, requiring us to have clear strategy to steer, maintain and accelerate this change. I want to acknowledge the women pioneers who fought great adversity, women like Rosa Louise McCauley Parks (1913 – 2005) was an activist in the civil rights movement best known for her pivotal role in the Montgomery Bus Boycott, Sojourner Truth (1797-1883) who fearlessly fought for gender and racial equality, Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906) a powerful social activist, Frida Kahlo (1907-1954) who used her art to express taboo subjects surrounding women, Yuri Kochiyama (1921-2014) fought a lifelong fight against racism and many more remarkable women who made it possible to vote and have professions that was but a dream to our predecessors. Though the struggle continues we remain hopeful that change is inevitable which we have begun to see as Ethiopia elected her first female president Sahle-Work Zewde this year which is refreshing to us. Who knows, maybe the once dark continent will be the one that propel us to a new age of women empowerment, the kind that has vulnerable women and children protected working alongside men for the betterment of life. One thing’s for sure, we all have an opportunity to be catalysts for change the future is ours for the taking. I want to thank all the contributors who work tirelessly to write great content, to women who shared their stories and to our precious readers who keep us going. Please give us feedback as we love hearing from you! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Harriet Khataba - Editor in Chief
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S.T.E.M. QUEENS
A platform for African girls and women in STEM
For any economy to thrive and develop, it is imperative to ensure full participation of all pools of talents. For many years, increasing women’s participation in employment has been argued as a matter of equality and the ‘right’ thing to do to create sustainability in any country. Today, women’s full participation in employment is argued on the basis of economics and increasing opportunities for women in STEM is essential to any economy and to achieve gender equality. We must ensure that the STEM workforce grows and becomes sustainable by implicating the biggest pool of largely underutilized talent: women! By attracting and retaining more women in the STEM workforce we will maximize innovation, creativity, and competitiveness which are key enablers for sustainable development. We also know that companies operating with genderbalance actually enhance their innovation and gain a competitive advantage. There has never been a more powerful time to be bold and take action to ensure that women
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and girls are at the forefront of this fourth industrial revolution dominated by technology and digitisation. Outdated stereotypes about women’s professions must not be a barrier to women or girls achieving high level and highly technical professional roles in this new work future anymore. We most importantly believe that increasing the representation of women in STEM fields through ongoing efforts to train and sponsor girls and women in underprivileged communities will help break the poverty cycle, address gender inequality issues, empower women and create economic growth in those countries. The significance of mentorship is undeniably important if we are to bring women into STEM. It is with this mindset that oil, gas and energy executive, Award winning entrepreneur and managing director of the Australia based consultant company MT Energy Resources Ltd, Mireille Toulekima and woman Pilot, philanthropist, global goodwill ambassador and managing director of Bambino life foundation Ashaba Faridah launched the STEM QUEENS
program in Uganda. The STEM QUEENS program is part of the Energy Angels project. Energy Angels is a partnership between Australian company MT Energy Resources Ltd and the Ugandan nonprofit organization Bambino Life foundation. It is an innovative program involving women who are breaking barriers in Sciences Technology Engineering and Maths (STEM) which provide mentorship and coaching to girls in school and create awareness for women in STEMs sectors. The program is also looking at providing STEM scholarships and financial aid for science projects. In Uganda, the focus is on girls from upper secondary to university level. The Energy Angels project is meant for girls and women in the STEM industry, its main objective is to help African women achieve their fullest potential and participate in the African STEM economy. As part of the Energy Angels project, we work with schools and universities worldwide, oil, gas and energy companies, international business communities, governmental organisations, social and STEM entrepreneurs, Energy and STEM global champions, corporates and global business leaders to create access to local and international sponsorship, mentorship and coaching, training and learning opportunities, investors, procurement opportunities to the girls and women in need. By increasing the representation of girls and women in STEM fields through ongoing efforts to train and sponsor them, we hope to help break the poverty cycle, address gender inequality issues, empower women and create economic growth. In our effort, we are trying to reach the following United Nations Sustainable development goals: eliminate poverty, provide quality education, promote gender equality, decent work and economic growth.
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About the Author:
Mireille Toulekima
Mireille Toulekima is a renowned expert in oil and gas investment accross emerging and developing markets, with expertise in developing fit-for- purpose content policies, strategy and processes, combined with vast technical experience in oil and gas project management and execution.
Dr. Comfort Momoh MBE Dr. Comfort Momoh MBE is a member of the British FGM National Clinical Group and until 2017, served as a public health specialist at Guy’s and St. Thomas’ NHS foundation trust in London. In 2008 New year’s honours, she was appointed a member of the order of the British Empire (MBE) for services to women’s healthcare and in 2016 she was awarded a fellowship by the royal college
What influenced you to pursue nursing? As a child I have always wanted to be a nurse, caring, helping and supporting others especially the elderly is so natural for me - hence I wanted to do something that will make a difference in people’s lives. A career that is challenging and interesting. I knew from a very young age that nursing was something I wanted to do with my life. Through secondary school my interest to become a nurse grew and grew and became even stronger.
of midwives. Her work and contribution to raising awareness of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in the UK and Africa is phenomenal. It’s not been an easy journey for her to raise awareness, but it has been worth it. Comfort is a remarkable woman more insight into what she does is captured in the interview. 7 |
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How did you start working with women who had undergone FGM? During my three years general nurse training at the University (1981-1984) I was confronted with FGM as I had a few friends and classmate who have undergone FGM and were so afraid to talk about their experiences due to secrecy around FGM. I remember asking my grandma about FGM when I
first heard about the practice, unfortunately she did not have an answer for me because she wasn’t from the community that practises FGM. Following that I decided to look for answers by researching and asking communities.
What are the dangers of the practice? FGM is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as all procedures which involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia and/ or injury to the female genital organs, whether for cultural or any other non-therapeutic reasons. FGM has no health benefits, the many risks/ complications outweigh the benefit if I can say benefit, the dangers includes pain, shock, haemorrhage also known as excessive bleeding, severe pain, urinary problems and death. The long-term consequences of FGM includes flash-backs, problems during childbirth, recurrent urinary tract infection, keloid, difficulty in passing menstrual blood, pain when having sex/during intercourse or lack of interest in sex. Also anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and low self-esteem, physical and psychological impact.
How challenging was it when you started working on FGM? It was very very difficult when I started working on FGM late 80’s when I was doing my midwifery training at North Middlesex Hospital in Edmonton London. Many people from the practising community were angry that I had touched on a very sensitive culture - in their words “this is our secret, our culture and tradition” I had eggs thrown at me, abuse etc. In view of above I was very positive and remain strong as I had a mission and a vision to free girls from FGM.
What are some of the accomplishments you have through your work? I am very proud to say that I set up the second FGM clinic in the UK, I trained and supported many professionals to set up their own clinics here in the
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UK. I helped the Royal College of Midwives and the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology to write their first professional guidelines on FGM in the late 80’s and 90’s.
I was involved in the government All Party Parliamentary Hearing on FGM both in the UK and in Scotland.
I was invited to Australia - Melbourne Hospital to give a series of lectures on FGM and as a guest speaker in Cambra at the Australian FGM Summit.
I got to work as consultant for WHO as well as involved in reviewing some of their publications on FGM.
My work here in the UK and worldwide speaks for itself as I received MBE from the Queen, honorary doctorate from Middlesex University.
I am a Royal College of Midwives Fellow.
Visiting lecturer at King’s College (University of London) and the Tropical School of Hygiene.
What treatment is available to those who have undergone FGM? Treatment depends on the type of FGM, however women who had type 3 FGM will need to have what we call deinfibulation - opening the closed area. Some women with FGM 1, 2 and 4 may need psychological or psychosexual support. Some may need ongoing support with recurrent urinary infection or problems with their menstrual flow.
In your opinion what more needs to be done to eradicate FGM One needs to acknowledge that a lot has been done, however we still have a lot more to do in educating and empowering our young people. More commitment from African leaders will go a long way.
Airlines can help raise awareness, carriers could hand out leaflets to parents travelling with girls to countries where FGM is practised, outlining the health risks and the law, this I believe is a method to get the message across.
How can the person reading this support or be part of what you are doing? Help to raise awareness of the risk and cultural sensitivity of FGM
What are you currently working on? I am currently supporting the FGM activities/project and campaign in Africa especially Nigeria. Here in the UK working very closely with the community in raising awareness of knife crime and helping our young people to access help and support they urgently needed (apprentice, mentoring etc.).
Raise awareness of the legal implications
Supporting local fund raising events
Making difference
If you suspect a child is at risk of FGM, you must report your concerns in order to safeguard the child.
Whats next for Comfort? Who knows! I have pending projects in America and Nigeria
According to UNICEF Data, At least 200 million girls and women alive today living in 30 countries have undergone FGM. While the exact number of girls and women worldwide who have undergone FGM remains unknown, at least 200 million girls and women have been cut in 30 countries with representative data on prevalence. To read more on FGM please visit UNICEF. 9 |
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A I M I L BU E E FR
r r e K e i l ith Ju
w
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Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like? Julie Kerr is an eating disorder recovery coach and mentor at Bulimia Free. Julie self-recovered from a 15 year battle with anorexia and Bulimia over 20 years ago and brings a unique and powerful perspective on recovery. Bulimia Nervosa, also known as simply bulimia, is an eating disorder characterised by binge eating followed by purging. Binge eating refers to eating a large amount of food in a short time. Purging refers to the attempts to get rid of the food consumed. This may be done by vomiting or taking laxatives. The reality is people with bulimia are at a high risk for dying, especially if they are purging, using laxatives and doing excessive exercise. Many people with Bulimia have died from cardiac arrest which is usually caused by low potassium or an electrolyte imbalance. Others have died from a raptured oesophagus. We got an insight on Julie’s life to help others know that it is something that can be conquered.
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The early years were idyllic. Growing up in a picturesque Devon as the eldest of three sisters was a childhood dream: We played, although not always nicely, in the apple orchard and fields beyond our garden. Fishing for anything that we could find in the small stream just down the road and cycling around the lanes on tri-cycles. When I was 8 we moved to Loughborough in the Midlands where my brother was born. Horse-riding replaced the fishing and cycling until, in my late teens, I discovered Northern Soul, dancing, and a passion for making clothes assisted by Mum and her 1950’s Vogue patterns.
What was the strongest influence in your life as a young adult? I began modelling during my gap year and for what was supposed to be for a year, turned into well over 14 years. To the outside world it seemed I was living the dream, with agents in London, Paris, Hamburg and Tokyo I had plenty of work. However, in reality my life was somewhat less glamorous. Behind the painted smiles and faked happiness, I hid my shameful secret. Back in the day there was no name for it, but I later came to know it as Bulimia. And so, what should have been some of the most exciting years of my life (18 to 33) were shaped and dominated by an obsession with my weight and dieting, overwhelming compulsions to binge and purge, self-hate, guilt and shame, a huge amount of stress and
constant lying to cover up or hide the eating disorder.
You’re the founder of Bulimia Free how did that come about that? I’d like to say it was a flash of divine inspiration. However, Bulimia Free was the child of patient detective work, determination and a desire to show others that recovery can be complete, empowering and permanent. Some 8 years ago while training be a life coach, a psychotherapist told me that nobody ever truly recovers from bulimia. When I said I absolutely had, she asked “How”? I couldn’t answer her, I hadn’t got a clue! I’d had no recovery treatment or help. And if I recall correctly, back then, there wasn’t even a word for what I was doing and there was no Internet or Google. But 2010 was different, so I Googled ‘bulimia’ and was shocked by my search. Not only was I reading things like, “you never really recover”, “it’s a life-long battle” and that “you’ll always have to be careful around food”, which to me were plain wrong, there were so many people struggling.
I saw connections between things that were seemingly unrelated or insignificant. However, these tiny details were in fact key to my eventual freedom from bulimia, a freedom that is now well over 20 years. Given the web of confusion that I had uncovered, I decided to create a recovery program; mentoring and coaching people in a way that reflected my own journey and success. Initially I was plagued by self-doubt, I mean who was I to be doing this? But that ‘little voice in my head” was wrong. Bulimia can be a powerful teacher. I shared my methods with others: What worked for me worked for them too. I turned the experience of my own recovery into a training program that is helping others break free from their personal hell. And Bulimia Free was born.
Tell us also how you overcame bulimia. Recovering from bulimia is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. To tell you in detail would take a book. On the surface it sounds so easy if I just say - I stopped dieting and started listening to (and trusting in) my body’s hunger cues. But that is essentially what I did. However, it was not all I did.
As they say, the past leaves clues. From the vantage point of freedom; and with the knowledge and insights I’d gained from being trained in various coaching and healing modalities, I analysed my 15-year struggle and recovery.
Before any real behavioural change can be made, a shift in mind-set is required. Without that seismic mental shift, change work is no more helpful than moving deckchairs on the Titanic.
I saw the fundamental mistakes I’d innocently made and how these errors had kept me trapped in a living hell, struggling unnecessarily for years. As a former sufferer
A seemingly random conversation in Paris, redirected the course of my eating disorder towards freedom around food and a new relationship with myself. I had what can only
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be called an epiphany. My beliefs and assumptions were torn apart and a new vision emerged. I saw new solutions and possibilities for action not just in the future but right then. I realised what I needed to do, and I’d heard a ‘new’ voice, say, “I can do that.” As Neville Goddard said, ‘There can be no outer change until there is first an imaginal change’.
itself out. Nothing fits. It’s uncomfortable, often very painful, sometimes embarrassing. Not knowing then what I now know: that bloating is a common symptom of recovery, I often wondered if there wasn’t something seriously wrong with me. Probably the biggest challenges lay in working things out objectively rather than subjectively and becoming more emotionally resilient. So, rather than reacting out of sheer habit, I was responding to what was really in front of me. This meant getting to grips with my biggest
“Before any real behavioural change can be made, a shift in mind-set is required. Without that seismic mental shift, change work is no more helpful than moving deckchairs on the Titanic.”
That new vision was so compelling, it pulled me through every tough challenges recovery demands. And believe me, there were challenges: physical, mental and emotional. When you feel you cannot trust yourself and feel your body is betraying you, it’s really hard to listen to your hunger and respond when what it’s asking for, demanding even, are foods that you’ve spent years believing are ‘bad’, ‘unhealthy’, ‘addictive’ or ‘fattening’. Or ones that you [believe you] can’t stop eating, once you start.
adversary - me! Or rather the me that had bought into the idea that I wasn’t good enough, beautiful enough or thin enough; and that if I just got ‘thin enough’ or looked a certain way, I’d be beautiful, successful and happy. The me that I believed wasn’t smart enough, competent enough and couldn’t deal with any upset in my life without resorting to bingeing and purging. The me that thought I was fundamentally flawed, a despised failure who deserved to be punished for not being perfect.
It’s hard to deal with a bloated stomach because your gastrointestinal tract is sorting
But through it all I never lost sight of that new vision of myself. I clung on, tenuous though
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it was at times, to the belief I could do it. And now well over 20 year’s bulimia free, I think I can safely say I did it.
of my seeming inability to control myself around food, ‘purging’ [initially] seemed to be a solution to the problem of ‘bingeing’.
In your experience what was the trigger?
And time and time again I have observed in people who purge, an underlying motive that runs far deeper than just wanting to be ‘thin’, or ‘fit’ or ‘healthy’’: They have a compelling vision that they believe being ‘thin’, ‘fit ‘or ‘healthy’ will fix or provide and so they will do what [they erroneously think] it takes to get there.
The easiest and most obvious answer would be to say, the trigger was my restrictive dieting. And on one level it was, given our brains are ‘hardwired’ to have us seek out food and eat, and probably more than we think we should eat, when our caloric and or nutritional requirements are not met. Anyone reading this article, who has dieted for a time, will no doubt have experienced breaking a dietary rule, over eating, or even bingeing, even though this wasn’t what they [consciously] wanted to do so, and they have their ‘primitive’ brain to thank.
But not everybody who diets develops bulimia. The thing is bulimia isn’t only about bingeing. It is also about the ‘purging’ behaviours of self-induced vomiting, over exercising, restrictive dieting, fasting and or missing meals, amongst other behaviours, to compensate for bingeing, overeating or broken dietary rules. Without the purging behaviour, there is no bulimia.
So, is it ‘purging’ that triggers bulimia? And although bingeing definitely triggers purging, not everyone who binges, purges. So, something else is going on… When I believed my budding modelling career and move to London was in jeopardy because 14 |
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What is the greatest challenge reaching out and helping those struggling with Bulimia? To paraphrase Einstein, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level or kind of thinking that created the problem in the first place”. The steps for recovery so often go against deeply held beliefs, cultural and personal. So, even if some know what to do and how to do it, the pull of old [erroneous] beliefs, voiced through a manipulative, sometimes mean, sometimes seductive, ‘little voice’ causes slip ups and relapses which are incredibly discouraging. Ironically with the internet and all the information at our hands, I think recovery is harder now then it was for me 20 odd years ago (without the internet). The conflicting information on bulimia, both the causes and what to do to recover, juxtaposed with the cultural obsession with thinness, fitness and ‘health’ makes recovery incredibly confusing and frightening. What do you currently do?
For the last 6 years I have been empowering women from all over the globe, to not just break free from bulimia but to maintain that freedom through my one to one mentoring and coaching service.
What are the 5 most important items to you in your handbag?
What do you love most about what you do?
Credit card, reading glasses, lip gloss and my mobile phone so my clients can contact me in moments of need.
Seeing the transformation in clients as they connect with their own wisdom, power and beauty.
What’s next for you?
What are the key things you look for in a client?
Continual development of my business. This will enable me to support more people who need support and advice. One exciting project is my new online course “BustED” that is currently in development. Watch this space!
Simply a desire to stop the behaviour of bingeing and purging.
If you need help with bulimia please contact Julie through her website: www.bulimiafree.com.
What keeps you motivated? A passion for life. What is your favourite past time activity? I love to relax, preferably in the sun, and read a good thriller.
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!
Photographers/Videographers, Art Director, Designers, Editors, Writers
If you have a passion for empowering women and believe you can add to this organisation then please get in contact with us via publications@herstorymatters.com
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My name is
Eva Arissani and this is my story...
Eva Arissani is a remarkable woman whom I was introduced to by a mutual friend. We immediately got along, it’s difficult not to because Eva has a beautiful personality and is full of charisma. She is very outgoing and has a beautiful spirit. We spent a couple of hours talking about our experiences.
I got to know so much about her including what she does and what drives her. What drew me to her was her story which is very similar to many women I have come across, her story touched me and am sure will touch you as you read it. Life is a journey, sometimes we dont have control of what happens around us but we can control how we respond to adversity.
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“
Every single day, I make it my responsibility to make work a means rather than an end.
Eva Is the founder of Transcentral Pty Ltd, a company specializing in language services; She Phoenix Femme Phoenix, an NGO aimed at helping teenage girls deal with a daunting range of obstacles, a blog aimed at inspiring and motivating people to unlock their true potential and the Published Author of New
I operate on 4 principles: 1 - God will never give me more than I can handle 2- My family is everything to me so whatever I do, they are my top priority
Moi New Life: Five Ways to Build a New You and Live an Extraordinary Life.
3- I keep in mind what is my life purpose.
For the purpose of our readers please tell us what you are currently working on.
4- I always think in terms of ‘living a happy balanced life’
Currently am running my company Transcentral Pty Ltd, writing my second book, working on my NGO She Phoenix Femme Phoenix, running Mireille Toulekima Global Organisation South Africa Chapter and blogging. Sometimes I think I bit off more than I could chew but then I remember that our time on earth is limited and it is our duty to make the most of it.
How do you seamlessly make it work with family obligations Every single day, I make it my responsibility to make work a means rather than an end, I come up with ways to keep the passion alive, stay fun and attentive and maintain healthy communication with my loved ones. Every single day I pray God strengthens our family bonds and keep us under His protecting shield. I believe in the power of prayer. As a woman entrepreneur I have the freedom to always attend my kid’s functions at school. I can be their cheerleader. It also gives me the joy to be home for my husband when he comes back from a business trip or from a long and hard day at work. Entrepreneurship allows me to balance work and family although it can be challenging to be one’s own boss.
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Tell us about your life growing up I was born in Libreville, Gabon. My mother was thrilled to have her first child, my father welcomed his umpteenth child... he had a lot of children so much that we do not all know one another. This did not prevent him from being a good father. My parents were not married but had been living together for many years. Two years later after my birth, my brother was born. We were very fortunate as our parents at the time were well off. My father was a diplomat, worked for the ruling party at the time and was CEO of a manganese mining and processing company. As a result, my brother and I got to travel around the world. We went to Canada, USA, France and the United Emirates among other countries. We got to experience different cultures and lived a sumptuous life. My mother was a fashion guru and would buy our clothes from well-known brands such as Kenzo, Versace to name but a few. I started school in Libreville, a French private school, every year I would spend a few months in that school and the rest of the year in a primary
school in Paris, France, just a few miles away from our building in Boulogne Billancourt. I loved my life and had a lot of friends in Libreville and in Paris. I had a very active social life and was very sporty and took part in a variety of sports such as ice skating, roller skating, swimming and soccer. I loved France, the culture, the people and the way of life. Growing up in two different countries was challenging in terms of culture, I preferred and adopted the French way of life, including the language. I was not in touch with my Gabonese roots as I only visited Gabon for short periods of time and was not exposed to my mother tongue as our parents never spoke it. Unlike many kids of our age, my brother and I never went to our village and never experienced the thrill of stories around a bush fire. My brother and I were spoiled and never lacked anything. Things were going smoothly until one day mum sat us down and told us we had to return to Gabon. My parents were splitting up.
years older than I was. We were both in Grade 10, I was in love with him and felt like I had found treasure that gave meaning to my life. His family was well-off compared to mine (after my parent’s separation) and I loved spending time at his place. At school things were great, I spent most of the time with my boyfriend, He reminded me of France, he was half Gabonese half French and we had a lot in common. We shared similar interests and often spoke about the things we did in France. I felt that he was my soulmate. One day as we spent time together in school a friend of his joined us, we were talking about nothing in particular until he asked us if we had ‘done it’. We looked at each other a bit embarrassed. We both mumbled “No, we have not”. His friend started laughing and told us that we were not ‘in’ and we should be ashamed of ourselves. He told us that we had to do ‘it’. We were very embarrassed and changed the topic.
We left France in a hurry leaving everything we had behind us.
But from that day forward, nothing was the same anymore. We did not look at each other with the same innocent eyes. We fell into the trap of fitting in and we not mature to resist it.
Once in Gabon, High school was a refuge for me. It was not easy but at least I could get away from the poverty that was hitting us hard, the shame of living in a slum, the hurt from losing our father and our home.
I willingly crossed the line and changed the pattern of the relationship. I did not realize how having sex was going to change our lives forever.
High school gave me the opportunity to be someone I was not in real life. I lacked selfconfidence and self-esteem but I knew that I was beautiful. I was happy when one of the popular guys in high school asked me out. I did not hesitate to say yes. He was handsome and 4
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I preferred it better when we were just hanging out innocently, It was not what I had imagined it to be and felt disappointed, but at the time, I felt that I was fitting in and had something to talk about with my girlfriends.
4 months later I felt sick and my stomach was very firm to the touch. I told my friends about it and they told me that I could be pregnant. This had not occurred to me I felt dizzy, as if I was going to faint. I was scared, I thought about how my mother was going to react and I thought about my future. I was only 14. “What will become of me?” I thought, I did not know what to do. I called my boyfriend and informed him of the situation. He was speechless, mumbled something I can’t recall and hanged up the phone. That night I went back home scared, confused and lost. I worked out the number of weeks and guessed that I was about 4 months pregnant. I was so lost, I decided to hide it from my mother until I had figured out something. I knew she would freak out and would be very angry. Things didn’t go as planned, one evening my mom came straight to me and touched my belly. She knew instantly that I was pregnant. That night was one of the longest and painful night I had ever lived. I was deeply ashamed and remorseful. I wished I could turn back the hands of time, pressed rewind, pause and erase that time of my life. I wished I had not had sex simply to fit in. I wished I had the backbone to stand up for myself and keep our relationship the way it was. I wished I was not pregnant. The following day, my mom contacted my boyfriend and his family. They came home and unlike what I thought, they blatantly denied the pregnancy. “This is not my son’s child”. My head started spinning. Tears rolled out of my eyes and my hands were shaking. I could not believe he would deny the pregnancy but it was worse to believe that I was that kind of girl. I felt deeply hurt and insulted and my heart broke. I felt betrayed, I told him “remember that we did
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not use a condom, I did not sleep around, I love you even after your rejection, I still love you”…. He turned away from me. I felt that I had been judged and condemned guilty of an act that required the consent of 2 people. I was alone with an unborn child in my tummy. I thought of my mother and I thought of the terrible night we had just spent. I was scared and sick to my stomach… His mother was still spitting out insults at my mom. I turned around and headed straight to the kitchen. I reached the cupboard where we kept all our medicine. I found a box full of pills my mom was taking to sleep at night. I think I took about fifty of those pills, I thought of my mother and the pain and shame I had caused; I thought leaving this world would be a relief for everybody, it would spare the unborn child a life of misery and, spare my family from the shame and spare me the humiliation and pain of being called names because of what I did. I thought I would never succeed in life and would be condemned to a life of suffering. I thought of the hatred I saw in his mother’s eyes and I remembered the acute pain I felt when he denied the pregnancy and turned his back on me. I was the one who had messed it up and I had to disappear to fix things. I did not think about what I was doing, I was scared of the present and even more of the future. I felt that leaving this world would be the only way out for me. Everybody would be better off without me. I went back to the living room where his mother was still insulting my mother and once in the room my mom gave me a terrible look, but I was already under the effect of the pills I had taken and by the time my ex-boyfriend and his mom had left, I was not myself anymore. I lost consciousness. I survived the suicide attempt and I decided to take full responsibility for my life and the baby I was carrying. I vowed to become successful and against all odds, I made it. Today I am a successful entrepreneur, I am an achieved
woman, I am happily married and mother to 3 girls. My oldest daughter is doing her honours degree next year in one of the best universities of South Africa. I learned that I had to go through everything I experienced to become the person I am today and to empower young girls, women, individuals. God rose me up and it is my duty to pay it forward. From my life experience, I can say that whatever one may be going through, however hard and painful it may seem, suicide is NOT the solution. If someone had told my young self-years ago I would be living such a happy and peaceful life, I would probably not have believed it. I thank God every day for saving me and for giving me another chance. I also discovered that self-confidence / self-esteem is key. If I had more self-confidence / self-esteem, I would probably not have fell in the trap and would not have gone so far.
What made you start the NGO she phoenix femme phoenix? A need to empower young girls, to pay it forward, to play a positive role in society. A belief that each one of us is unique and that my life purpose is linked to my life story. I see myself as a She Phoenix Femme Phoenix. Why a Phoenix? I love the fact that it is a legendary bird that rises out of its ashes. That’s how I see myself. I came out of my ashes. I am born again. I am a New Moi and I have so much to give. I will not stop until I have given it my all. We live in a society where we are more of our limitations than our greatness. We have to be strong to climb our daily mountains. As a young girl, it is difficult especially when she does don’t have any selfesteem.
In your experience what causes low self-esteem in teenagers? I believe that there are many forces at play. I would say that causes are interwoven. They could stem from childhood trauma, social interaction, poverty among other things.
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How do you address it? That’s an interesting question and it is something I deal with in my second book. One of my recommendations is to empower these teenagers. We must re-programme their mindset. They need to know, hear and believe that they have an identity of their own. They need to accept their uniqueness and learn to speak their mind. We need more mentors especially at school. I think that we need to redefine what it means to ‘fit in’.
What’s the toughest thing you had to overcome? There are so many… But I would say, waking up on that hospital bed, after my suicide attempt and realizing that I had to make it work. I would also say forgiving my younger self for trying to commit suicide.
What drives you? A strong belief that my story has the power to save many lives and to empower many young girls. A strong belief that I am here for a purpose and that it is my duty to be of service to others.
What has been to date the most exhilarating experience for you? My wedding day, it was a dream come true. I was over the moon and many years later, still is.
Who inspires you and why? My Lord, My God, My Everything. Why? Because He worked miracles in my life. He rose me up and gave me everything I ever dreamed of. He is with me, He speaks through me, He protects me, He listens to me, He gave me the power to overcome any obstacle.
My mom because despite everything she went through, she helped me raise the child and allowed me to continue with my studies. My husband, My love, My sweetheart, My confident, My rock why? Because He took me as I was, he helped me get back on my feet, he gave me love, he saw beauty in me when I did not see anything else but pain, he helped me regain confidence and helped me become the achieved and self-confident woman I am today. My sister and mentor Mireille Toulekima who believes in me and encourages me to step into my greatness. She opened up a lot of doors to me… For instance, I met you through her and it is simply priceless. I learn a lot from her and truly value our relationship.
At-Home Beauty Remedies That Really Work! Winter is here! And so are the endless parties! It’s a time to look and feel you’re very best and you can do this without breaking the bank. Leave your body and skin feeling like a million dollars plus you’ll have extra cash to spend on the prezzies!
Homemade Whipped Body Butter Body butter is very rich and hydrating (it’s not like lotion – especially store brand lotion which normally has a thin consistency). It’s absorbed into the skin after a few minutes. You can use your favourite oils, butters and fragrances.
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Today, I can truly say that I love Eva and I just can’t wait to see what is in store for her.
What’s next for you? Watch this space…My second book will be coming out soon. It will be inspiring, motivating, emotional and captivating. My NGO is still in its inception phase but we are excited as we will soon start with our activities. I want to help as many introverts and female founders find their voice online in 2018. I believe that you don’t need to be the loudest in the room to make an impact and that’s where I come in to help my clients shine online. Exciting times ahead!
Supplies Needed:
1 cup Shea Butter ½ cup Coconut Oil 2 tsp. Cinnamon 2 tsp. vanilla extract
Directions:
Heat shea butter and coconut oil over medium low heat in a small pan, stirring frequently until melted. Remove from heat allow pan to cool. Place in refrigerator just until mixture starts to set up- about 20 minutes – it should be opaque. Scoop into the bowl of your stand mixer and mix on high for 3-5 minutes until light, fluffy, and triple in size. Add cinnamon and vanilla extract, whip an additional 2 minutes. Store in an airtight container – mason jars are perfect for this. Keep out of hot areas, mixture will soften to nearly a liquid.
In the
Kitchen with Andreea Andreea is an Executive Creative Chef, personal trainer and eating psychology coach who loves to inspire others through different expressions of her creativity and helps others to overcome obstacles in their path.
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Warm Glazed Carrot, Bok Choy & Seared Artichoke Salad This simple yet elegant dish celebrates beautiful vegetables.Young carrots, abundant greens…and of course... the savoury highlight: the artichoke. Let’s tuck in. ingredients: (serves 2)
4-6 fresh season carrots (preferably with tops still on. find them in your garden or farmers market) 1 bunch of bok choy (or other similar seasonal greens) 4 fresh artichokes 1 clove of garlic 2-3 lemons 2 TBLS coconut/sunflower/macadamia oil 3-4 TBLS of extra virgin olive oil 2 tps mirin 2 TBLS of extra virgin olive oil a handful of pine nuts a sprinkle of dulse seaweed 1/4 tsp of dill / fennel pollen (optional) A small handful or wild leaves (we used sea purslane here / optional) black pepper
method: Start by washing and pealing the carrots. (You can also leave them unpeeled if organic). Use a vegetable peeler to create long ribbons or slice them lengthways in about 1-2 mm thick slices. Leave some of the green ends on. Add carrots to a bowl with minced garlic, juice of half a lemon, tamari, mirin, dulse flakes and a pinch of unprocessed sea salt. Massage the marinade into the carrots. Slice bok choy lengthways and add it to the carrot bowl. Add a big handful of pine nuts. Allow it to marinate while you are preparing the rest of the dish. If your carrot slices are thicker, place the heat proof bowl of carrots in a dehydrator or an oven (not to cook, just to warm and soften) while you are preparing the rest of the dish. In the meantime prepare your artichokes. Use a ceramic knife if possible, because artichokes oxidise and brown really quickly. 23 |
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Prepare a big bowl of water with 1-2 lemon juice squeezed in it and the same halves of the lemon floating in it. That’s where you are going to keep your artichokes to prevent browning. Cut 1/3 of the top off, pluck the outer leaves till you reach softer and brighter layer, shave the stem and cut off any hard bits. Cut artichoke in half and scoop out the inner ‘fluff’, also called the ‘choke’, using a teaspoon. Repeat the same with the rest of your artichokes and leave them soaking in lemon water. To sear the artichokes, preheat a heavy bottomed pan, add 1 tablespoon of oil and sear for 5-7 minutes gently flipping each piece. Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt. To assemble pile up a carrot and bok choy mix on a plate. Serve with some creamy cashew aioli,a sprinkling of fennel or dill pollen and wild leaves/ seaweed flakes.
Goddess Bowl This is an absolute superstar on your table for lunch. Whether you choose to make one part of it, or the whole bowl with its colourful many parts – it is guaranteed to bring a super yummy kaleidoscope of the autumn flavours onto your plate.
ingredients: (serves 4-6)
Cucumber and pepper salad: 350 gr red pepper ,350 gr cucumber (deseeded, chopped) ,50g gherkins (sliced) ,1/2 red onion , 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp lemon juice , 1 tbsp dill (chopped) Marinated tomatoes: 200g heritage tomato 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper 1/2 tbsp garlic powder 1/2 shallot (finely chopped) Pine nut sauce & Cauliflower: 1/2 cup water 1 cups pine nuts 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp turmeric powder 1/2 cauliflower (broken down into nugget size pieces) 1 bunch of finely chopped chives Frozen peas: 1/2 bag frozen peas Pinch of salt Pepper Oive oil to taste a bunch of finely mint leaves (finely chopped) For serving: ½ avocado (sliced) sprouts warmed slightly in tamari pea shoots or other fresh greens
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method: First begin by defrosting the peas; roughly chopping and preparing marinated tomatoes so they have extra time to marinate and release the flavours. Then, steam the cauliflower for 5 minutes on a low/ medium heat. In the meantime, prepare the pine nut sauce by blending all the ingredients (apart from cauliflower and the chives) in a high speed blender. Set cauliflower and pine nut sauce aside. In the same way, prepare the cucumber and pepper salad, season to taste and set aside. Finally, prepare the peas by mashing them (either manually with a wooden spoon or in a food processor) with finely chopped mint, salt, pepper and olive oil. To assemble the bowl, place the cauliflower warm with a generous serving of the pine nut sauce and a sprinkling of fresh chives on top. The rest of the salad proportions are up to you – may your imagination run wild! We love ours with couple of big tablespoons of mashed peas, some slices of avocado, fresh and gently warmed sprouts with a bit of Tamari.
Wild Girolle & Wild Rice Risotto with Caramelised Carrots and "Rough" Guacamole Wild mushrooms are definitely a ‘musteat’ delicacy. Mushrooms are not often valued enough for their nutritional benefits (which they are full of!) and often people get discouraged due to the lack of knowledge and experience with (especially wild) mushrooms. There are factors more important than nutrition that makes wild mushrooms a super special delicacy. You would be happy to know that specifically girolles (also called chanterelles) are packed with potassium and are one of the highest sources of vitamin D (yes, that’s right, the sunshine vitamin!). Without further ado, I present this recipe: wild to its core, flowery and very nourishing and cosy. Perfect for cooler summer evenings or after long, active days. All plant-based, all happy, all colorful, wild and yours.
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ingredients: (serves 2-4)
250g of fresh wild girolles (chanterelles) 3-4 banana shallots 2-3 cloves of garlic 1 cup of wild rice 2 carrots 1 tsp fennel seeds 1 tsp coriander seeds a handful of sundried tomatoes 1 TBLS organic apple cider vinegar (optional) 1 tsp coconut sugar or other natural sweetener (optional) 1/2 tsp mild smoked paprika unprocessed sea salt to taste 3-5 stalks of fresh lemon thyme freshly ground black pepper 3-4 TBLS coconut oil 1/2 tsp of chaga powder or chaga extract powder (optional) 1 avocado 1/2 bunch of organic coriander leaves 1/4 lemon juice pinch of Molden salt 1-2 TBLS olive oil few blossoming lavender buds
method: Caramelized carrots: Start by peeling and finely chopping garlic and preheating a pan with 1-2 TBLS of coconut oil.
Girolles: Preheat a heavy bottom pan, add 1-2 TBLS of coconut oil.
To the medium-heated pan add the garlic, fennel seeds, coriander seeds and cook for a few minutes.
Once the oil is hot, add finely chopped shallots and stalks of thyme.
Add finely chopped carrots, smoked paprika (optional 1 TBLS of apple cider vinegar and 1 tsp of coconut sugar for more intense flavor) turn the heat down on low and leave to sweat (preferably with the lid on).
Add girolles, salt to taste and turn the heat down to low.
Just before serving mix in finely chopped sundried tomatoes.
Rough Guacamole: Sometimes,when we have really fresh,organic ingredients that taste amazing, we love making a ‘rough’ version of guacamole and serving it up pretty much as it is: slices of avocado with some chunky salt, fresh coriander leaves on the side, finely chopped shallot, drizzled generously with olive oil and a squeeze of lemon juice and pepper. Try it, it is fun and easy to serve.
Wild Rice: Preheat a pan, add 1/2 TBLS of coconut oil and a finely chopped shallot. Cook the shallot for 3-4 minutes. Gradually mix in the wild rice once the shallot is golden and soft. Cover the rice with water (2 fingers above the rice), add 1/2 tsp of salt and simmer on low heat for 15-20 minutes, stirring regularly.
Let girolles cook for 10-15 minutes. Season with freshly ground black pepper.
Assembly & Serving: Once the rice is cooked feel free to mix in caramelized carrots and rice together or serve separately. Plate the rice first and cooked girolles on top. Sprinkle with fresh thyme and lavender buds (we sprinkled the place with chaga powder to give this dish an even more foresty, medicinal feel), season with ground pepper. Serve with ‘rough’ guacamole on the side.
Soothing Chocolate Smoothie ingredients: 1 cup coconut milk 1 frozen banana 3 tbsp raw cacao powder and 1 tsp coconut sugar (or 3 tbsp of Food Matters Superfood Chocolate) 1 tbsp cacao nibs Extra cacao nibs & coconut flakes to serve
method: Combine all ingredients in the blender and pulse until smooth and creamy. Serve in your favorite glass and sprinkle with cacao & coconut flakes.
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Pear & Hibiscus Cheesecake If you are looking to take your cheesecake to the next level this is the perfect recipe for you! It is magical, nourishing, satisfying and one of the most beautiful cheesecakes we’ve created. Hope you like it! (Needless to say, it is all-plants, vegan, gluten-free, soy-free and just downright delicious).
ingredients: Soaking liquid 500 gr agave 350 gr beet juice 250 gr water Juice of 2 lemons 1 cup hibiscus 2 pears (pealed, cored and chopped finely) Cake crust 1 + 1/2 almonds 1 cup coconut flakes 1 cup dates (soaked) 1 + 1/2 cup algarroba 1/8 tsp salt Cheesecake filling 3 cups soaked cashews 150 gr Irish moss 1 cup soaking liquid 1/2 cup agave 1/2 cup lemon juice 1 cup coconut oil
method:
Grease a cake tin with coconut oil and press the base into the tin.
Mix all the soaking liquid ingredients and let the mixture sit to infuse the flavours.
Blend all the filling ingredients in a high speed blender or food processor until smooth.
Add the pears into the mixture and let them soak overnight.
Stir the pears into the blended cheesecake filling. After that add it into the cake tin and chill for 2 hours.
Mix all the crust ingredients together in a food processor until fine.
Optional topping: Soaked pears (approximately quarter pear per serving)
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Raw Pepermint Slices Extasy ingredients: Base 1 cup almonds 1 1/2 cup dates 1/4 cup raw cacao powder 2 tbsp coconut oil Peppermint Layer 1/4 cup coconut cream 1/4 cup shredded coconut 2 cups raw cashews (soaked overnight) 1/4 pure maple syrup 1/2 cup coconut oil 4-5 drops peppermint oil (depending on how strong you like it) Chocolate Layer 1/4 cup raw cacao powder 1/4 cup coconut oil 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
method: Using your food processor or high powered blender, combine the ingredients for the base and pulse until a crumble mixture is formed. Press mixture firmly into a lined small slice tray.
Once your filling is set, prepare your chocolate topping by melting cacao, coconut oil & maple
Place mixture into the freezer for 1 hour to set
syrup over a low temperature until well combined.
while you create the filling. Remove your slice from the freezer and layer evenly While your base is in the freezer setting, combine
with the chocolate topping. Put back into the freezer
all filling ingredients in the food processor or high-
for 1/2 an hour for the topping to set.
powered blender and process until well combined and smooth. Add a little more water if needed to
Slice when frozen, then remove from freezer 10-15
create a smooth mixture.
minutes before serving.
Remove base from freezer and top evenly with the peppermint filling. Smooth this layer and place back in the freezer for 1-2 hours. 28 |
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My name is
Jo-Ann Hamilton and this is my story...
Jo-Ann Hamilton is the Founder, of SecretBirds, an online magazine, which celebrates early stage women entrepreneurs in developing economies. She is a graduate of American University in Washington, D.C., Cass Business School in London and Kingston University also in London. Her professional and cultural experiences span continents, having worked in North America, the Caribbean, Europe and Asia.
Please tell us about your early years. I was born and raised in St. Croix, Virgin Islands to immigrant parents from St. Kitts and Nevis. I grew up in a quintessential Caribbean household and lived a typical Caribbean lifestyle filled with love, laughter, food, music, religion, strict rules, copious amounts of structure, order and discipline. I have very fond memories skipping rocks, riding my bike, running around barefoot, hiding in the garden, climbing trees, building sand castles on the beach, playing on the veranda and just being a free and wild child. I had an amazing childhood and I am really grateful
Jo-Ann is currently teaching and guest lecturing at various academic institutions around the globe. Additionally, she acts as a mentor, and champion to various global communities. Some of these communities include the United Nations Women (UN Women) Empower Women community based in NYC, the ALL
for it, especially now that I am an adult. I felt loved by extended family and friends and was very spirited. I grew up on this very tiny, insignificant island but it was my world and a beautiful one at that. Life outside of my house, was just an extension of home life, whether that be at school, Church (as I am Christian) or elsewhere. We were all close and
Ladies League and Women’s Economic
took care of each other, it was and still is a tight knit
Forum, both based in India and the Fabulous
community. Families knew other families and as in
Fempreneurship community based in Canada.
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the case of small tight knit communities we all either knew each other or
knew someone that connected us.
and sense of self are all Caribbean but her evolution as a human being has and continues to be global.
I believe that Caribbean women because of our history have always been empowered. Just as an example we have three women in the Virgin Islands, we call the Three Queens who led a successful 1878 insurrection against the Danish Government demanding improved working and living conditions throughout the island. This was due to the fact that after slavery was abolished working conditions were still very much like during the days of slavery. The three queens led a rebellion known as the Fireburn, which was a fierce revolt to burn down the island if conditions did not change. These women were involved in multiple riots throughout this period. This is just one of many examples of strong women, not just in the Virgin Islands but throughout the entire Caribbean region. Women have always played a strong role in challenging and reshaping the fabric of Caribbean society. I would say Caribbean women have always been and will always continue to be empowered because we have no choice. I honestly think it is a matter of life for us, as our societies continue to change and grow we are at the forefront. It is not taught but it is intrinsically embedded in who and what we are as Caribbean women. I think what we are seeing now in the region are the different generations going about empowerment in their own way. As the saying goes each generation has its cross to bear!
Why did you leave St. Croix? I decided to emigrate because I wanted to see the bigger world. I wanted opportunity and challenges
You worked in a male dominated field how did you maintain your assertiveness without compromising your femininity? I worked in the property and construction industry for ten years. Like you mentioned completely male dominated and I struggled often to find myself in this environment. I was often sent mixed messages. I would be rewarded for operating in my masculine, but then chastised for operating in my feminine. I do not think I ever found any balance in this world. I think I was always a different person at work because I often felt like I could not be my true self. Being assertive, particularly as a black woman in the West (I worked in the UK, Europe and US), also came with its own challenges and burdens. I think in the end, I always stayed committed to my personal values. At times, this meant I would be left out of the inner circle or be passed over for certain opportunities but my personal values were always more important to me than a job and albeit needing financial stability, at the end of the day, I knew how much and how far I could and needed to go. This is why in the end I left the corporate world. I am glad I had the experience working in corporations but I was also very happy to move on with the job of being Jo-Ann.
You are a champion to various global communities what prompted this?
outside of my 84-square mile island. I was hungry
The idea of SecretBirds came to me in July 2014
to do, think and experience. Since migrating I have
and then in December of that same year I left the
been educated, lived, traveled and worked around
corporate world. In January 2015 I started working
the globe and it has been a life altering experience
on SB full time and since then a wonderful world of
for me. The woman I am now is grounded in the
opportunities started coming my way. As clichĂŠ as
Caribbean. She was cultivated there, her roots, pride
this sounds, I believe once you start following your
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heart and your purpose, you really find your way.
a photographer, capturing nature and architecture
For a long time I was living this life that was not me.
mostly, but generally things I love and which inspire
Doing things that I felt I needed to do, being a person
beauty in me and others. And lastly, I run SecretBirds
that I thought I needed to be. I think like so many, I
(soon to be called Rare Birds) an online magazine
was taught that these are the things I need to do to
which celebrates early stage women entrepreneurs
be successful.
from developing economies. I write, interview and share stories via this platform and it is incredibly
I just swam through life hitting one target after
exciting and fulfilling for me. Teaching, writing,
another but I was not being or living, I was merely
photographing, traveling and building SecretBirds
existing in this bubble. One day that bubbled popped
are all somehow a part of this new journey I am on,
and I awakened. Since then, I have never looked
which I believe has been waiting for me on the other
back! Doors start opening, people start coming
side for a long time. They enrich my soul, they make
and somehow God makes everything right. In
me feel complete, they give me a strong sense of
terms of why I am involved, I am passionate about
purpose, and they make the disquiet and frivolous
entrepreneurship and sustainability, therefore I am
things in life slide away and open me up to be the
always happy to work on projects that involve these
person I was intended to be. I believe we were all put
two areas.
on earth to serve, therefore my destiny is enhanced because I am constantly in service when I am doing
What are you currently doing? I am a teacher, writer, entrepreneur, traveler and budding photographer.
these things.
What inspired you to start rare birds? It all started when I realised it was time to move
In the day I am teaching my students at an
on from the corporate world and I could not find a
international school in China.
community that I was seeking out. I was at a place in my life where I felt like I was running on empty and
Using literature as the tool we read, write and
nothing was working out. I felt uneasy and I knew I
understand the world through many lenses. I love
needed radical change. The entrepreneur and risk
cultivating knowledge and albeit never seeing
taker has always been in me, but she needed some
myself as a formal teacher, here I am teaching and
help and I could not find that help anywhere. They
I thoroughly enjoy it. I write daily about many things
say be the change you want to see and as I could not
and hope to one day start publishing and sharing
find what I needed to implement changes in my life, I
my work. I am a traveler, so every opportunity I get
decided to start it. It was to be honest not calculated
I am either exploring the vast nation that is China or
or well thought through. My intuition said do it and I
I am traveling to another country. I am curious, I like
did! It felt good, it felt right and I jumped straight in
learning, seeing, experiencing and making sense of
and worried about everything else later on. It was the
things. A part of me feels more and more complete
first time in my life I felt so comfortable and at ease
when I travel.
with such a life altering decision. Prior to that time, it was all about plans and goals, etc. Not because I am
It is not something I am very good at articulating
that kind of person but that is what I was constantly
but it feeds my soul in an unreal way. I am always
told I need to do and be. It was soul crushing living
with my camera, pretending (tongue-in-cheek) to be
life on a clock, I am not functional that way, at all! I
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actually have an aversion for clocks and do not wear
many struggles as women and there is often a lot
a watch. The thought of being on anyone’s time,
going on behind the scenes that we are not always
really bothers me. I think we can become slaves to
privy to. Or as I like to say, people know our names
the clock and really drive ourselves nuts. Outside of
but they do not know our stories. There are however,
the norms of what society dictates, I try my best to
many happy, encouraging women out there and
avoid timing! I believe starting SB was the beginning
the key is to seek them out or just by simply being
of my awakening and perhaps this seed was planted
your happy self you will also attract them! We also
in me so that I could recognise what I am here to do.
need to give what we want, I have seen some really
The story continues to unfold and I am excited to see
bruised people break down just through simple acts
what will come next.
of kindness and reciprocate that kindness in return.
How do you support women globally other than through the different avenues you are involved in?
What drives you?
Honestly, I think as women just navigating this world on a daily basis with our struggles and coming out sane on the other side is enough to support and champion each other. I am a friend and supporter too many women who I meet along the way, to women who randomly email me, connect with me online, etc. Through simple endeavours like having coffee, saying something encouraging or just being a listening ear. Supporting women is very sexy these days but as women since time immemorial we have always supported each other and I do not think that will every change. I believe we are wired this way and it is a special gift we have with our capacity to love unconditionally, create and support life in a multitude of ways and generally just doing all that we do. I am also who I am because of all the women who support me. I would not be who I am today without the support of other women, so it is web of support and everyone encouraging each other along the way.
Purpose and passion drive me. I know who I am and what I want and I do what I like as often as possible, which makes me very happy. I have my off days like everyone else, after all I am just a mere mortal but I live 100% intuitively. My style is not for everybody as I am someone who literally lives breath to breath. I think life changes with each breath and as we inhale and exhale we never know what will come in or out as we flow along. I like being in that present moment, because this is where I am at my best. I flow like water, moving seamlessly not resisting but at the same time knowing that every step I take is going to lead me exactly where I need to be.
What do you do to relax and unwind? To relax and unwind, I go into nature. It always calms me! It could be as simple as taking my shoes off and standing barefoot in the grass or something more adventurous like going on a hike, cycling and the like.
I often hear women say that they do not always feel supported by other women, and I understand this and have been on the receiving end of malice myself but we must also recognise when other women are just not in the right place in their own lives and are not able to give us the support we need. We have
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What’s next for you? I have no idea, I am living breath to breath and let’ see what unravels next!
a Conversation with Sharon Kirstin: THE ANSWERS WITHIN
Sharon Kirstin is the bestselling author of “The Answers Within: Find Your Soul Purpose and Ignite Your Hidden Superpowers”, success coach and a speaker. She built and lead the website and mobile usability department for one of the world’s most successful startups ranking #5 in the wall street Journal’s “Billion Dollar Startup Club” 2014.
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What was your childhood like? I was a debilitatingly shy kid. When I was little I’d hide behind my mother when strangers talked to me. I had friends in school, but was never one of the popular kids. I never quite felt like I fit in, rather like a unicorn in this small town setting in Germany. It seemed like I had been born in the wrong location - it should’ve been California! For whatever reason my heart always pulled me there. I had a few close friends that I would spend my time with. But what I did a lot was listen to music and
let my mind wander into the future. To everything that could be, dreaming up experiences in beautiful places. In hindsight, I know that I was extremely sensitive to other people’s energy, an empath, and it was difficult for me to be around people sometimes because I would internalize their emotions. It would feel uncomfortable and I wouldn’t know why. Often I’d just feel more at ease being by myself. My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old and my Dad embarked upon his personal development journey. He wondered what had happened that he had it all - success, house, cars, family - and then lost it all. I loved what he shared about spirituality, purpose, life, belief systems and empowerment. I started reading books by Osho when I was eight years old. He planted many seeds within me that have sprouted into a full-blown mission to awaken people to their full potential so that they remember who they really are and use their superpowers and the metaphysical laws to create authentic lives of abundance and fulfillment.
What prompted your decision to leave the corporate world? I had spent years in a key role building the most successful e-commerce company in Europe. I invested all of my time and energy into this job. I made it my purpose. Although I had always been interested in spirituality, personal development and deciphering the mysteries of life, I ended up being a workaholic in the pursuit of significance. I found it. And once I did, the thought started surfacing, “Is this it? Is this all there is to life?” I started doubting the purpose of my job. This question reconnected me to a deep desire within me: to help people and make their life better. I kept having the idea that when I die people would speak about how I touched their lives and made it better. That, because I was around, their life was transformed. I didn’t see how corporate could get any better than building one of the most successful companies in a
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key role from 100 to 5000 employees. It was a wild ride of build-up and expansion that had inspired me. I felt called to take some time off work and reconnect with my soul. I didn’t want any vacation, but a deep reconnection with my true self. I needed answers about my next chapter in life. Through divine guidance a yoga teacher training in the Indian Himalayas found me. In those 5 weeks away from civilization, surrounded by pristine nature and immersed in ancient teachings, I found new meaning and guidance. One morning in meditation, all of a sudden all sounds around me got quiet and I could feel myself being pulled out of my body. I had visions and heard the clear guidance: “You created this life. You can create differently.” I realized that no matter how much energy, time, or resources I had spent creating the life at home, I can choose differently. I can build a new life based on authentic values following my true soul’s purpose.
Why did you start your own business? I started my business because I desired to empower people to live authentic lives of freedom, purpose and abundance. I believe that the limiting beliefs we learn from society, parents, and social groups early on create barriers to our authentic
expression. Our natural state is to be in full alignment with what is right for us and to express ourselves freely. Instead we are taught to believe in lack, fear, limitation and conditionality. My mission is to help release these inner limitations so that my clients can create a life in full alignment with what is true to them and contribute their gifts back to the planet. The more people wake up to the truth of their infinite power the more the consciousness on the planet increases and our world can transform.
in all the wrong places - material things, career success, relationships, kids, adventure, whatever it may be. It is an insightful and practical book that gives you answers to your burning questions about life and safely navigates you to find meaning and fulfillment in life. All teachings are backed up with
My biggest challenge in the beginning was my identity. I drew a lot of significance from my identity as the businesswoman and the impact I had made, and was still in high demand for by competitors. I fought a battle within me about what people would think if I call myself spiritual or a coach. “Corporate suicide” was a term I heard a lot and I had to make a choice whether I’d stay safe in a career that didn’t excite me anymore, or take the risk and actually try to make a bigger impact in the world, no matter what people would label me. Everything is a choice. When we can infuse consciousness into a situation we can see different perspectives. I realized that playing small and safe would not be me. I made a vow to myself long ago that I would not make choices based on fear and I stuck with my credo.
Tell us about your book a ‘The Answers Within’ This book was within me for a long time, I felt called to write a book for quite a while but didn’t take action. When I finally decided to go for it the words flew from my soul straight onto paper within two short and intense weeks of writing my heart out. Customers on Amazon have attested in the reviews what a high frequency the book holds and how it transformed their energy simply by reading it. It definitely has its own energy. It’s a channeled work that finds you when you are ready to experience its transformational guidance. “The Answers Within - Find Your Soul Purpose and Ignite Your Hidden Superpowers” is for everyone who has been looking for happiness 35 |
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practical exercises that activate your true inner power and help you harness your inner guidance system to create a life beyond your wildest dreams. It will take you on a journey to transcend your current circumstances, ditch the ordinary, embrace your full potential and open you up to a whole new perspective on life. Over and over in my life I’ve experienced that a shift in perspective is all it takes to create lasting change. It takes away the resistance and allows the magic of the universe to manifest the right people, circumstances and opportunities to create everything you desire.
From your experience what holds people back from greatness?
Limiting belief systems. When we set a goal, may it be to be our best self or to achieve something specific within a certain period of time, it is not our conscious mind that guides us to the result. It is our subconscious that carries out the command. If your subconscious is not aligned with what you consciously want it will keep sabotaging you.
ourselves. I have seen the power that lies in selfactualization and what magic can unfold when we step back in alignment with our true self. I’m on this path of self-actualization and I’m passionate about taking others with me. My mission is to awaken those who are ready to live their full creator potential so that they can utilize their superpowers
“I had to make a choice whether I’d stay safe in a career that didn’t excite me anymore, or take the risk and actually try to make a bigger impact in the world...”
Until age 7 our brains operate in theta brainwave. Theta is the brain state of trance. This means that whatever we’ve been told and whatever we experienced is accepted as true. During this time we cannot reject an idea, thought or belief. Once we turn 8 years old all of that drops into our subconscious and steers us remotely for the rest of our life. I’m sure you’ve heard that our subconscious takes up 95% of our behavior and only 5% is truly conscious choice. Greatness means to me to be your best self in all areas of life. This can only be achieved if we become aware of the limiting beliefs that create barriers to our full expression, reprogram them in our subconscious and take new, consistent action to allow our goals to manifest in life.
What drives you? My number one value in life is connection. I believe we are all one. What we do for another, we do for 36 |
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and harness the power of the metaphysical laws to create powerful lives that contribute to the ascension of planetary consciousness. This creates a ripple effect of awakening and rapid human evolution. Together we can make a true difference.
What’s the most rewarding experience you had? Reading the beautiful testimonials of my book and how the wisdom in it has changed people’s lives. It is my intention to create content that will outlive me and will keep on giving in many years to come. To see the first manifestations of this was truly touching and rewarding because I could see that I’m on track with my mission.
How do you unwind from the demands of running your business?
I have clear scheduled time for what I do. I take daily time to reconnect with myself and my inner guidance. It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture when you’re caught up in daily tasks. I’m in constant connection with my higher guidance so that I stay on purpose. I treat myself with support. I have a business coach and spiritual coach. I create regular time-outs where I recharge and spend quality time with friends and family. Travel also infuses me with energy and new perspectives. We can get very caught up in the same routines when we are in one place. Travel breaks my habits and opens my mind to new perspectives that energize me in life and business. I’ve also learned to be selfish to a certain extend. “Selfish” in the sense that I know I have nothing to give unless I have filled my own well, first. I now say “no” to other people’s demands on my time and energy more than I used to because I know that otherwise it will compromise my energy, joy and the impact I can make. I always pass any demands through the test of how this will impact my goals now and longterm, and if saying “yes” supports my mission or not. It’s hard to say “no”, but it’s necessary if I want to create the life I envision.
At-Home Beauty Remedies That Really Work! Natural Spa Treatment
What is next for you? I’m currently creating a powerful personal development method with the intention for it to be the most effective one on the planet. I’m also creating a consciousness movement where I guide awake leaders into their fuller power and impact. The only “thing” holding us back from making an impact is ourselves. There is no power outside of ourselves that keeps us from living extraordinary lives. That’s why I believe all the answers and power is already within ourselves. We just need to unlock it. Apart from that I’ll be focusing on my next book and speaking on stages to share my message and awaken into higher consciousness.
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Once a week for 20 minutes, sit in a hot bath that contains: Epsom salt or sea salts 10 drops of lavender oil or you favourite oils Half cup of baking soda This combination draws out toxins, lowers stress-related hormones, and balances your pH levels! You can add dried herbs and flowers to get the spa feel!
Laikipia: Exquisite Accommodations and Game-Rich Plains
After tea/coffee with the Enasoit managers (very cordial couple!), we are off again!
I’m running late. No surprise there. If I had a dollar for every time I was late, I would be a millionaire! I want to capture as much of Sweetwaters Tented Camp as I can before breakfast and departure. We have a long day ahead of traversing at least four conservancies in Laikipia, and we wanted to get an early start. But I have to take some pictures of the camp. The camp offers accommodation in two wings – the standard wing which has the stand alone and double-storey tents and the new Morani wing tents which are more spacious and can even accommodate triple beds. The camp’s lawns are lush and green and impalas are often seen grazing on them. Are you looking for a property to have a staycation with family and or just to have a chilled couple of days with bae? Sweetwaters Camp should be top of your list. It is an easy drive from 38 |
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Nairobi. Bring your fleeces though; it does get chilly at night. The rest of Laikipia is not as easily navigable, what with the puncture we get about an hour after leaving the nearest centre where we had gone to restock supplies. It’s all part of the adventure though and we are soon off to our first stop of the day: Enasoit Camp. Enasoit is a small camp with just six cottages set on its own sanctuary. The camp is only booked on exclusive use! No mixing with other guests! It’s all yours. The beauty about Enasoit though is not its exclusivity which is so cool. What makes it special is the waterhole located in front of the camp lounge area. Goodness, it is something I’ve never seen before – tens of reticulated giraffes and zebras less than 500m away quenching their thirst and licking from the salt lick! Extraordinary! I become a little daring and move close to the giraffes. The photo op is too good to pass! The animals pay no heed though and keep drinking and licking.
After tea/coffee with the Enasoit managers (very cordial couple!), we are off again, this time to Sanctuary at Ol Lentille. I have seen the photos and cannot wait to see whether the actual measures up to the pics. The drive there though is long and winding over rough terrain. Laikipia is larger than all of Kenya’s national parks and reserves with the exception of Tsavo in southern Kenya. It has such varied landscapes from desert- like conditions to huge tracts of green plains. Sanctuary at Ol Lentille is perched high on a rocky hill with spectacular views over the Ol Lentille Conservancy. The views are breath-taking! The lodge comprises four fully staffed and serviced houses. They come with everything you need for your stay – a butler, kitchen, cook, driver, guard – everything! The Eyrie, recommended for honeymooners, is a dream! For families/group of friends, book the 3-bedroomed Chief’s House which can accommodate up to six adults with children. The only downside with Sanctuary at Ol Lentille is you have to walk steep slopes so it will not do for people with mobility challenges. Lunch is booked at the Loisaba Tented Camp. It is way past lunch time, though and as hard luck would have it we lose our way. You do not want to get lost in the African wilderness! Three people
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each give David our driver different directions. I’m almost resigned to spending the night in the bush. Luckily, we bump into the area chief who points us in the right direction and we pull into Loisaba late into the evening. Sleeping under the stars in Loisaba’s starbeds has been rated as one of the most amazing experiences in Kenya and a must-do when in Laikipia. We don’t get to see the starbeds but are taken round the tented camp. The original camp was destroyed in a fire in 2016; the re-build is fantastic. Loisaba has the largest, most remarkable tented rooms I have ever seen. The space, the views, the lavish amenities, the infinity pool are just some of the reasons I will come back here, someday. After a hurried lunch, as the sun set over the horizon, David drives the thankfully short distance to Ol Malo Lodge, our home for the night. The moon appears bigger and brighter this evening. “It is the
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night of the supermoon - the night when the moon is at its closest point to the earth”, one of us says. We get to Ol Malo and are met by Andrew and Chyulu Francombe, the managers. After freshening up in our assigned rooms, we find the managers and staff have laid out roasted goat (nyama choma) and Ugali (cornmeal mush) Kenya’s favourite delicacy for dinner; it begins to feel a lot like home. Andrew, regales us with stories, as we feast around the fire late into the night. It has been a long and memorable day. I lay still as I watch the sun peek through the large picture frame windows from the comfort of my cedar post bed. I think to myself, how amazing is this? I grab my phone and capture a few photos but they don’t do the awesome sunrise any justice.
“Would you guys like to go on a heli-ride? You can skip it if you’re in a hurry to get back to Nairobi”. Home can wait! Andrew, who is the son of the owners, is also a pilot. He pairs us in groups of three
and takes each one on a scenic flight over the area. He flies high over the hills and goes low over elephants taking a bath in a seasonal river in a thrilling flight that ends too quickly! As we drive back home, I search for words to summarize my Laikipia experience. It boils down to enormous space, exclusive destination, exquisite accommodation.
Sarah Mwangi Sarah Mwangi is a marketing executive, bitten by the travel bug that has seen her travel through her home country Kenya. She blogs about her experiences.
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Whose success will you make your business starting from today?
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So how do we move forward in this complex world? We need to create culturally competent and globally inclusive workplaces. We should all be able to work in environments where everyone can thrive, but to do that we need to lead the way and create them. Despite the consistent efforts of many enlightened leaders in the tech sector, including the members and supporters of the GTWN, it has become clear that the lack of diversity in the industry is a multifaceted challenge that will not be easily fixed. We all have a part to play in the new strategies and approaches that are needed. I have always sought out, supported and created new ways to implement programmes that not only increase awareness but also aim to accelerate the female digital economy. My driving force and commitment to improving diversity and inclusion stem from my own experiences in learning how to thrive as a female leader both within the corporate arena and since setting up my own consultancy business. I have found that one of the greatest supports for my career and ambitions has been found with both the women 43 |
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and the men who have sponsored and mentored me. These are the ones who believed in me, helped me to understand my own strengths and to build upon them. They have also helped me recognise that the feeling of being an imposter is part of a phenomenon that many people struggle with every day and is a barrier that can be addressed. These sponsors extended and showed their faith in me and introduced me to industry leaders. They helped provide the platform to not only advance my career but to do it with impact. I will be forever grateful to each one and this has been my driver to #payitforward -to celebrate the leaders who have shaped my past to my present, and an opportunity to spotlight and sponsor new pioneers who are building an even better future. These are actions I am proud of. I love to see a diverse range of young, inspirational future leaders, being happy and successful. Whilst we still have our work cut out to improve diversity and inclusion in our industry, there are many good initiatives that are being undertaken in many areas that, taken together, will make progress happen. One perfect example is the Connected
Women initiative of Cisco. I was fortunate to be part of a very inspiring discussion forum organised by Cisco at Mobile World Congress in 2016, at which the brilliant women leaders at Cisco proposed an initiative on how we could all, as individuals and leaders, move the needle on diversity in tech. Imagine the impact if every single one of us, sponsored an inspirational, diverse pioneer and helped them to advance their career? The ‘Multiplier Effect’ was born and launched at MWC in 2017 by Cisco CEO, Chuck Robbins. I am proud to support this initiative and to promote it as something that we should all want to take industry wide. It aims to create and build a full pipeline of diverse talent that continues to grow and multiply.
and signing the Multiplier Effect Pledge. I would encourage you to join us at http://multiplydiversity.com.
Every single one of us can participate and take an action. To sponsor someone means to take an active part in their career advancement. To provide advice, guidance and feedback, introduce them to the right leaders and share best practices. This isn’t mere mentoring, it’s a focus on helping someone achieve their goals and career ambitions more quickly than would otherwise be possible. What is amazing is that this movement it is already multiplying. So many leaders are taking a stand
The Imposter Phenomenon has recently been highlighted by Melinda Gates as a major challenge to achievement of full potential in the tech sector. It is something that affects many of us – both women and men - and has been the subject of academic research for more than 40 years. Many of us, I am sure, know that illogical but very real feeling that sometimes overcomes us of somehow being an ‘imposter’ who will be found out
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To demonstrate our commitment to this initiative, at Perfect Ltd we will be continuing with this approach and incorporating the Multiplier Effect Pledge into our programme to support diversifying talent. I am very proud that In the UK on 15th March with the support of Ricoh UK we launched a global leadership development programme to Lead Braver, Stronger Smarter with Perfect and Mischief Business Engineering. The aim of the programme is to overcome inherent barriers to leadership and personal success caused by the Imposter Phenomenon.
sooner or later. It is a condition that is preventing the advancement of highly skilled leaders and diverse leadership teams. Our targeted new programme will couple lessons and approaches learned from research into the imposter phenomenon, coupled with the revolutionary framework of The GC IndexÂŽ to help participants radically rethink how they can nurture their own key talents for greater career impact. Never before has empirical research into the impostor phenomenon been melded with such a powerful leadership framework and applied with a commercial lens. In my opinion, the key to long-term success in achieving diversity targets in the tech sector is to transform individual action into collective power. We all need to contribute and understand how you can make an impact as a leader and as part of a diverse team in a complex world. Always remember to #payitforward - Whose success will you make your business starting from today?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vicky Sleight Vicky’s greatest success is in building successful initiatives such as events and female empowerment awareness programmes within leadership and business development. Much of her work has focused on encouraging and supporting girls from aged 8 to to study and build successful careers in STEM subjects A thought leader and expert in diversity and inclusion, Vicky is a regular speaker and spokesperson for this cause and has also supported BIAC and the OECD in Paris with research within the corporate sector on furthering education for young girls, Currently she is a judge for the Koreo Prize, a UK initiative aimed at increasing awareness of societal issues amongst young people.
The Jetson’s Future We Didn’t Plan For... When the Jetson’s aired on September 23rd, 1962 at ABC, Americans were amazed at the comical version of what the future would look like, displaying robotic contraptions, holograms and whimsical inventions. On Sunday nights, for 24 episodes, American’s watched George, Jane, their children Judy and Elroy, their robotic maid Rosie and trusted companion Astro live their futuristic lives in Orbit City. With going into syndication from 1985-1987, it provided great entertainment for those watching with very little thought to its future implications…. Fast forward to today and here we were, living in a Jetson’s world and it caught many of us off guard. From robots that vacuum floors to flat screen TV’s hanging on the walls to holograms, these things are becoming more common place in our world. Just a few months ago, my brother and sister law were doing a bit of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverley Hills, California and upon walking into a jewelry store, they were greeted with a hologram sales person welcoming them into the store.
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While all of this is very intriguing, it has a severe impact on traditional employment and has World-Wide implications. In an article published January, 2016, the World Economic Forum predicted an employment shortage of 5 million jobs due to artificial intelligence and machine learning. Robotics, nanotechnology, 3-D printing, genetics and biotechnology will most certainly cause a disruption to business models and labor markets. The job losses were even estimated to be as high as 7 million with a startling statement of the greatest losses being in white-collar office and administrative jobs. Let’s take a look at two of the industries already affected by automation/machine learning and this is just the beginning, fast food and retail trade: Fast Food: This industry is being hit really hard at a whopping 73%. A restaurant named Caliburger in Pasadena introduced a robot named Flippy. Flippy is the World’s first autonomous robotic kitchen assistant. They expect Flippy to increase quality, consistency of
the product, decrease wait times, improve the safety of food and help employees spend more time servicing the guest. While this pilot program sounds exciting and is set for expansion to other locations, it leaves one wondering this question… What about the cook’s positions that will be effected? This is a very valid question as this seems to be what’s coming or better yet, already here! We recently visited a McDonalds in a small town in our State. When I walked in with family I was amazed at what I saw. I saw 3 kiosk’s shaped like cell phones immediately upon entering the door with no cashier in site. When we approached the kiosk, an employee approached us and let us know that she would be there to answer any questions we had. After about 5 attempts from me trying to learn how to navigate the process, I needed assistance. Once the order was placed through the kiosk, it went immediately to the kitchen and the order would be delivered to the table if we dined in or brought to us if chose carry out. My inquisitive nature kicked in and the questions began.
with Ford Motor Company for a test in Michigan and Ford states that they have a target of 2021 to release this to the world.
Me: So how does this work. Have any positions been lost due to the kiosk?
Cashier: I’m really ok with it! I’m happy to be working. They recently reduced my hours from 40 to 30 a week.
Manager: No. As a matter of fact, we have hired new employees.
Me: Wow, why did they do that?
Me: So what’s the long term goal?
Retail Trade: The industry of retail will be affected by a staggering 57%. Let’s take Walmart for example. Walmart announced in January 2018, that it would eliminate over 1,000 corporate positions which is very disturbing, especially after they closed 269 stores in 2016. Over the last few years, I along with many others, have stated their issues with long, long lines at Walmart when it appeared that all registers weren’t opened. During a recent visit to Walmart, I was met with standing in a line with one cashier and at least 10 others registers empty. Being my inquisitive self, I asked the cashier, why are you the only one working? Here’s how the conversation went: Me: Why are you the only one working?
Cashier: I’m not sure. A lot has changed… Including why they don’t open additional registers.
Manager: Notice how the kiosk are shaped like smart phones. This is done to mimic the traditional smart phone and the McDonalds application that you can download on your phone. We want to make it easy for our customers to order their food even if they want a drive through type experience.
Me: Really, how?
I was intrigued by his answers. I saw both positives and negatives to this exchange.
Me: WOW….. What if you guys are really busy?
Let’s take a look at Pizza Hut. In Feb of 2018, Domino’s Pizza selected Miami to be its launch location for its first self-driven delivery car. In the initial launch, the cars will be outfitted to appear that there’s no driver but one is actually in the car. The computers are studying human interaction in the delivery process for future reference…… the question is. How immediate is this future? Atlanta is the next projected location to test the self-driven vehicle test. Domino’s briefly collaborated 47 |
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Cashier: Well the registers only open based on a software. It predicts how many people are in the store based on day/ nights and will only open if the manager approves… (Sounds like artificial intelligence to me)
Cashier: It doesn’t matter. The manager can open the register if they see fit but it rarely happens unless we are swamped. It saves the company money not to have someone at the register anyway. Also they want customers to use the self-check-out lanes more… Me: That’s interesting…. Have a good night. Based on my discussion with this employee, it appears that Walmart is skimming back on personnel and
promoting the concept of less human interaction with consumers and driving more towards software run registers and self-check-out lines. Again, artificial intelligence has its hand in this. This article is in no way an indictment of the aforementioned companies as everything in our world today is transitioning, very rapidly, towards automation. If companies don’t keep up, they will be left behind. The power of a global giant like Amazon has set the bar very high in our competitive world. It is my hope information at least sheds some light on what’s going on in our world and that you are properly equipped to compete.
About Dexter Scott Dexter is half of the power couple known as “The Upgraders”. Dexter is a powerful, informational/ inspirational speaker, trainer, and spirit-driven success mentor. After starting his career in Government, he and his wife are now seen as the go-to couple for helping people push past limited thinking and limited beliefs.
Share Your Story with Us! Here at Her Story Magazine we are committed to sharing the stories of women to help liberate many, and is one of the reasons this platform exists. Through past editions to date we have shared women’s stories and as a result impacted many lives globally. It is through sharing others stories that we have received numerous positive feedback from readers who have been empowered. Therefore, if you would like to be a part of our global agenda to transform and empower women please send us an email to: publications@herstorymatters.com
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Julie Theis is the former Miss Montana International 2017. She is a psychological expert, trauma specialist, and a life transformation coach. Holding a B.S. in psychology. She has specialised in psychology and human behaviour for 6 years, Julie’s accomplishments is outstanding, but this is so because she didn’t let her past defy her. Julie grew up in extreme poverty, she was raised by a single mother who although tried her best, struggled to pay rent, have enough money for food and stay in a stable environment. There were times when they were homeless and Juliet Was in foster care. She grew up learning the value of working hard even when you want to give up. At a young age she had to come to terms with knowing no one was going to help her and if she wanted to succeed she had to give it everything she got. We got an opportunity to capture Julie’s life and thoughts among other issues. 49 |
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Julie Theis Master Your Mind | Master Your Life
"Your dreams were given to you for a reason so you must fight for them even when it's tough."
How did you deal with your trauma? How did you ended up homeless? I was homeless on and off growing up. Addiction in the home played a part in it but the fact that we couldn’t ever “get ahead” is what made everything so unstable. We would do okay for a while and then an emergency would happen, the car would break down, hours at work would get cut, or rent would increase. There was no cushion for this. When it happened we were left with nowhere to go. You would be so surprised what we can get used to. At the time I didn’t have to “overcome” being homeless because it was my reality. I was very disconnected from the reality that maybe this isn’t how it should be. Once I grew up though I made it my goal to be “stable” I started to look for things that would give me an edge and I poured my heart and soul into my education. I graduated with highest honors from college with a degree in psychology without ever being able to afford to buy a textbook, this was only 4 years after I was sleeping in my pickup.
What motivated you decide to turn your life around? I don’t view it as “turning my life around”. I view it as being on a path. Sometimes on the path there are lows and sometimes there are highs. The most important thing is that I keep moving forward. I was first motivated to move forward because I didn’t want to live in the same pain I grew up in. Now I continue to move forward because I know how many people I can inspire with my story and through my business working in trauma consulting and results coaching that I can’t imagine not moving forward.
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You must find meaning from any pain and any hardship that you go through. I have found so much purpose from my trauma. I know that it has made me strong, it motivates me every day, and the experience is why I can now so confidently help women overcome their own trauma.
Forgiveness is a huge part in healing from our past. How were you able to handle this? There’s times when I feel like I have mastered forgiveness and there’s times I struggle with it. The most important lesson that I keep in mind is, I feel worse when I’m angry. I’m the one who hurts the most when I can’t forgive. I keep in mind that we are all operating from a place that we were conditioned to operate from. Some of the people that have hurt me the most in my life were also taught to hurt and they also had massive hurt done on to them. It’s not up to me to wait for them to realize that. It’s up to me to be self-aware enough to forgive and then to end the cycle of hurting.
How does pain affect the levels of success we can have? Unresolved pain and trauma will always hold you back from reaching success. It will come in the form of unhealthy coping mechanisms and selfsabotage. However, pain can also rocket launch us forward when we can find our purpose from it. This is why with all my clients I take them through my signature Pain to Power technique so they can learn how make their struggles work for them instead of against them.
What was the greatest challenge during your transformation? I had to believe with everything in me that I could have more even when I was told that I couldn’t. I was shown constantly that trailer parks and an inability to pay rent would be my life. I had to watch drug deals and still find that place in me that said “no you aren’t meant for so much more”. I didn’t have anyone show me that there was better, I had to hold onto this fantasy that had absolutely no evidence backing it up, that it was true. I had to believe in becoming successful like you believe in magic.
photogenic, fitness, and evening gown.
How can we empower and help young girls have confidence in themselves? I look at confidence as a skill set. So it’s okay if you don’t have it yet because it’s something that you can work towards. This is why I started my non-profit Dancing for a Purpose, to build that skill set through lessons of empowerment and by having the girls work towards and accomplishment that they can be proud of.
From your experience what is the greatest challenge to those who have gone through trauma? Changing their story. I have worked with so many people that because of their trauma they have had their story written for them. In this story they struggle, they are the victims, they constantly experience pain. So then they grow up not realizing it can be different and continue to repeat the same story. I teach all my clients to be the author of a new story that they will create. In this story they must write themselves in as the hero and as the survivor, they must write in their strengths, they must believe that things can be different now and that they have the power to make it so.
What inspired you to participate in beauty pageants? Pageant developed as another thing that I had to do because when I was younger I watched other girls compete and I always thought I didn’t have the money or the support to do them which as the time was true. I’m so determined to never let my disadvantages hold me back. If I want to do something, I will do it. This shone through as I competed as well and in 2017 I won the title of Miss Montana International. I also won different categories such as top interview, most
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I also believe self-development is important because your results are a direct reflection of who you are today. I have more today than I did 4 years ago because I have worked so hard to become the woman who can handle these accomplishments. I continue to evolve and to become a new person because I have bigger goals that still await me that will require I be the woman who can handle them.
What is the greatest obstacle you have had to face to date? Knowing that my past doesn’t determine my future. This is my greatest obstacle because it is constantly there. I will always have to work past limiting beliefs about myself that the poverty and abuse of my childhood instilled in me. It will always be a journey. That is what I would want other women to know, it’s okay if on your way to success you continue to struggle, I struggle to, just keep moving forward. Obstacles and success are allowed to exist simultaneously.
What advice would you give young entrepreneurs who want to start their own business? It’s going to be amazing, but more than that, it’s going to be hard. Embrace the hard, embrace the being unsure of yourself. If you want your business to thrive you will keep going despite fear and despite struggle. Your dreams were given to you for a reason so you must fight for them even when it’s tough.
Marisa Santoro
Gutsy Leadership
Marisa is a leadership trainer and career coach. Women of Influence Honoree, Diversity and Inclusion Speaker and CEO of InRShoes.com
Where did you grow up? I grew up in Brooklyn, New York as the youngest child of four, in a festive yet emotionally charged Sicilian family. Although I love my family, I spent most of my time behind closed doors in my bedroom. I learned later as an adult that I had hearing sensitivity to loud noises and credit the consistently loud camaraderie of native Italians for craving my much needed alone time. When you spend a lot of hours by yourself, you learn a lot about yourself. I credit that solitary time to becoming self-aware at a young age. I’m a first generation Italian-American. My father emigrated from Italy in his early twenties and settled into New York where he met my mother at a dance held at a local church and never looked back. Mama Mia! My father certainly epitomized the word ‘gutsy’! His stories of coming to America with no money in his pocket, unable to speak English yet building a rich life for himself had always inspired me. By simply observing him,
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I learned there is nothing you cannot achieve. My mom was my rock growing up. One of my favorite memories is when she would often say “Marisa, shoot for the stars, but don’t worry if you reach the moon.” I learned early on to always stretch bigger on any vision you hold for yourself. I also learned the dynamics between an American and foreigner. My parents were a very funny couple. They would speak to each other only in Italian when they were mad and argue over the most trivial things like whose Sunday pasta sauce was better. When they dragged my siblings and I into it, it became a bit challenging to take sides! We may not eat dinner!
How did you start your career? I grew up in the downtown Manhattan area where I graduated from NYU.edu with a Computer Science Master’s Degree. I defaulted into a technology career working on Wall Street from sheer proximity and doing what I loved – being a girl geek. There weren’t too many around at the time either in tech or on trading floors, so I suppose I was drawn to forging ahead as the minority at the time.
What steps did you take when you began the coaching programme? I started with my low hanging fruit – what I knew really well, who I wanted to support and where I saw the biggest gaps were. Once those were locked in, I mind mapped the content and worked backwards. It sounds over simplified but really that’s where my gut led me. The one thing I made a point NOT to do is subscribe to and try to emulate other coaches. I knew a lot of great coaches back then but didn’t want to unconsciously pick up anything that wasn’t my own content and approach. I think that’s hard because we have to start somewhere and maybe that’s not the best way to tackle something when you begin but that was a big one for me. Plus I tend to do the hard things first. I’m still like that today! Perhaps EASY bores me, I’m not sure. 53 |
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What 3 traits would you consider effective on coaching programmes? Accountability is number one. You can learn all the information you need, but if it becomes shelf-help it’s meaningless. So having an accountability element to coaching is essential. Writing or journaling is also a non-negotiable. I don’t know how it occurs, but there is something magical when you write out the things that you want in your life even if it’s in the form of exercises or journaling. Our brains lock into our spirit and it really helps us find our path. Instruction is third. I think a lot of coaches just starting out, follow the straight path of helping someone discover on their own what to do next. I really struggled with the word coaching, because I never considered myself that kind of coach. I’m the kind of person who will tell you exactly what you should do, give you lots of options and let you synthesize to see which one feels right. I believe people want to be led even if they are being coached; yes they also want to have those A HA moments on their own but they are hiring you to learn something given your expertise. Give yourself permission to teach what you know and tell them what works. In the end they are still making the decision, but lead them! Teaching is as much a part of our job as coaches.
Why is leadership important to you? One word – freedom. Leadership allows us to self-reflect on who we are and how we relate to others so we can choose the next best path for us at any time. Without that introspection it’s impossible to lead others. It’s an inside out journey regardless of whether you are teaching, parenting, collaborating. It gives you the freedom to make yourself a little vulnerable because your core foundation has been established. You know who you are and therefore showing certain parts of you don’t
feel uncomfortable, your roots are there. That includes voicing the less popular opinion in the room or having that difficult yet needed conversation. Leadership is liberation.
very “tuned” in to how I feel, all part of that intuitive gut gene we walk around with.
In your opinion what causes stagnation in career and business?
Being of service, watching my clients reach that a ha moment early on where I can feel them exhale, giving themselves permission to love
What inspires you with work?
Hands down, becoming too comfortable. Not being in motion. Staying too long in a certain position because things have never changed and so what’s there to motivate you to change? Environment, negative people and circumstances contribute to suppression and holding you stagnant. People don’t often want to see that, those yellow alerts but they feel them. There’s no shame or blame, we’ve all been there, but that’s the number one factor I’ve seen keeping people stuck. I include myself in that mix when looking back at my flatlined periods. I was too comfortable, didn’t want to see what was staring me down. The beauty behind this is however, is that when we do embrace these yellow alerts, you find so much clarity. It feels right even though you’re getting your hands dirty. Most people don’t want to get their hands dirty. They’d rather do what feels comfortable. The word comfortable doesn’t really have a place in my life dictionary.
What is the one thing you look for in a client? Mindfulness. I can tell immediately how much someone can feel into a conversation before we begin working together. It just comes through energetically and when I take that initial call with someone whom I don’t feel aligned with, I look back and say “yep, I wasn’t feeling it, but went ahead anyway.” It’s a waste of both of our time. In that circumstance, I will now usually end with something along the lines of: “Thanks for reaching out, but I’m probably not the best coach for you.” It’s a high road to take especially in the beginning when you want and need clients. Energetically however, you are pushing away good things from you. Be aware of who makes you feel good and vice versa. I’m 54 |
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and accept themselves. My role is simply to hold up a mirror to what is already there inside of someone, it’s probably the most grateful process I love about what I do. I often see myself in them and recognize later that’s why we were connected. We are all in this beautiful interdependent universe.
What are your top 3 qualities of an exceptional leader? Listening, molding to any personality, having a radar for seeing someone’s strengths and how you see them holding themselves back.
How does Marisa unwind? I easily let go and allow by being near any body of water. Water has a strong vibration and really helps you clear your mind and connect with spirit. I live not far from the beach here on the East coast, so that helps and certainly something I’m grateful for. Listening to piano music and writing are the other ways I find myself in unwind mode.
What is a must-have when you are travelling? The one thing you don’t compromise on. The first thing that comes to mind is seafood, especially shell fish! I remember one trip I was on in Australia where I couldn’t get clams or mussels. It was still a great adventure but admittedly somewhat disappointing, as Australians are known for their great chefs. Shamelessly I will admit seafood is a must.
What are you currently working on? I am currently completing a manuscript for a book introducing Gutsy Leadership for women, which speaks to how we as women can BE in order to show up powerfully in our careers. Although plenty of expert advice today teaches on what to DO to be successful, there’s still not much focus on what we can create by asking intuitively for the things that we want, following those impulses of thoughts, shifting our mindset about our true potential. Mindset accounts for 99% of our results and yet we tend to focus on the obvious, things only in front of us – that nominal remaining 1%.
What’s next for you?
Of all the countries you visited which one is your absolute favorite? Without too much pause, I have to say Italy. I am so in love with all things Italian. We held our first retreat in Tuscany in June. It’s also where my father was from and so I suppose I am somewhat predisposed to embracing La Dolce Vita.
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More programs, more curriculums, more speaking and more partnerships with forwardmoving organizations like HerStoryMatters. com who are making that dent in the universe by helping others find their voice.
Kerin Briscese body + mind + soul
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Kerin Briscese is the founder of Haute Fitness Health, a women’s self-love and body confidence coach. She helps women get fit, fall deeply in love with their bodies, and inner selves by removing the negative habits, thoughts and behaviors that have kept them in a Start STOP, merry-go-round for years.
escape back then was my imagination. I spent a lot of time daydreaming about what I wanted to become and have. I remember always having an inner drive, wanting to experience everything I possibly could. I never knew where it came from until recently when I read my grandfather’s autobiography.
After overcoming her own battle with emotional eating, yo-yo dieting and a lack of confidence she realized how many women today are struggling with the same feelings of shame and “I am not enough.” Here is her story.
I believe sexy means feeling alive in your body. It’s that feeling you get when you put on a dress, some high heels and red lipstick and you look in the mirror and think, “damn, I look good.”
I came from a family that loved me very much but like all families, mine came with baggage and history. My parents separated when I was 5, they were both so young when they had me. My mother was a wonderful and loving, she taught me a lot of what I did and didn’t want to be like. I saw her struggle in 2 marriages, watched my step-father control money. I remember being young and determined wanting a career and my own money. At a young age wanted it all, the career, experiences and love. I always watched other people, curious as to how they did life. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t have everything that I wanted. I always dreamed big. I am not sure where it came from. I think it came from spending a childhood unhappy with constant yelling and stress. My best
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What does sexy mean to you?
It’s that feeling you get when you feel satisfied and content in who you are. Sexiness is having that inner light bulb turned on and burning bright that attracts men, love, friendships and situations that make your life easy, flowing and bright! Tell us about your eating disorder and what it has taught you. I began my eating disorder when I was 13. I was a double 0. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer a few years earlier. We had moved 3 times in the past 3 years because my stepfather had lost his job. The disorder gave me a sense of being in control that was my own high. I was in control of one thing in my life when everything else was not. Once my mother died controlling food turned into a much more obsessive habit. I began binging, purging and starving myself for days at a time. Around the same time I began partying heavily and living a very unhealthy emotional and physical lifestyle
that we consider to be “normal teenage behavior”. Years later I turned from partying and staying up all night to competing in fitness competitions and becoming obsessed with the way I looked. Using “healthy habits” as a new way to belittle my body and selfworth and confidence.
beliefs from fear of being wrong or not being liked. This is not to be confused with not listening to others, a confident person seeks out smart and intelligent people.
Overcoming the eating disorder taught me that looks mean absolutely nothing when you are unhappy with who you are. The dieting industry is not there to help women but feed into the belief that we aren’t good enough as we are. That we can’t trust our bodies to know what we need and in turn that lack of dietary trust spills over into our ability to trust our decisions in love, finances etc. women don’t have a weight problem they have a not allowing themselves to feel happy problem. And that what they are battling is not their ability to drop pounds or stick to a diet but open themselves to love, trust, satisfaction and freedom.
I think a woman growing, discovering and getting in touch with her most confident self is the greatest gift she can give herself.
How does lack of confidence affect our choices?
How does our mindset affect our eating habits?
So many people confuse confidence with cockiness. They believe that because they tell everyone that they are confident, are extroverts or because they talk loud that they are confident. This is NOT the case at all.
Over-eating or emotional eating happens when we associate food with feeling better. Same goes for starving or binging. So the goal should be to:
Confidence is quiet and it allows you to move forward quickly and decisively when needed. When you are confident you know what you want, what you expect and the standards that you have. You are not easily dissuaded by someone else
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1. Find out where this belief stems from (i.e. every time I cried my mother asked me if I wanted something to eat). 2. After you remove these habits/ negative beliefs then rewiring our brain to remember that when we do something good for our bodies we feel better. It’s
taking that high you feel after a workout, a hike, eating fresh fruit, gardening etc. and tapping back into that whenever you are feeling stressed, exhausted, anxious or overwhelmed.
What was the most defining moment of your life? I wish my most defining moment was a happy memory but unfortunately it’s my mother dying when I was 16 and my grandmother a year and a half later. This set me on a very different path than I think I would be on had that not happened. It taught me to survive, that life is precious, and that every moment is worth remembering. It taught me to never take anything for granted and great love is so worth waiting for.
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I have never stopped myself from doing anything I wanted (for better or worse) because of that.
From your experience why do you think women have negative outlooks on their bodies? I think women have negative outlooks on their bodies because we are taught from a young age that everything is about beauty and looks. Women have the negative feedback from both sexes (men and women), men could care less if another man put on weight. And most women date down, so if her man puts on 20lbs its no big deal. She has 3 kids and doesn’t have the same figure she stopped trying. I think we need to spend more time training and modeling our girls to be selfsufficient. That she can be beautiful and
smart. Most importantly I think we should teach our girls to take the best care of themselves for no other reason than they think they are worth it.
How can women overcome shame? I personally believe that finding a coach, therapist to help you release any negative beliefs about yourself (shame being one of them) is crucial to getting to your next best level. Some things you can’t see for yourself just by journaling or meditating.
What does success mean to you? Success is having it all! Money, Love, Health…a whole bunch of abundance, happiness, contentment and freedom! For me personally, it’s being madly in love with a man who cherishes me. A business that touches the lives of women from around the world and a lot of time to spend with my love ones.
What are your tips on healthy eating during the holiday season and how to keep fit during this time? 1. DO NOT miss a workout! 2. Don’t starve yourself all day before you go to a party in the hopes of saving calories (it never works) 3. Keep drinking down to 2-3 nights a week (not 7) 4. Eat a cookie it won’t make you fat 5. I said eat the cookie …NOT the tray! This isn’t the last time your aunt Shirley is making your favorite dessert
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What is the bigger picture for Haute Health and Fitness? To grow my membership program to hold 5,500 members where we will have live weekly coaching where women can get 1-on-1 support from me and their sisters at a super reasonable price. I don’t believe taking the best care of your health should have to break the bank. I purposely designed a membership program that gives all the tools for women to transform her body + mind +soul. I am super excited to watch it grow!
Welcome to my table... Leona Nwokeji
Being 1 of 5 children, I always wondered why I was the child my mum sought to usher into the kitchen at a tender age of 10! What I didn’t realize was that she was nurturing a hidden talent. I truly love the process of creating colourful healthy dishes not just to nourish and satisfy my delight but to love others by welcoming them to my table, allowing me to share my passion with them. I’m so glad my mum ignored my displeasure and stuck her heels in. 61 |
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on t he menu
Mince Turkey and Bulgur Wheat Stir Fry Mixed Herb Potato Fish Pie Tuna & Chick Pea on a Bed of Bulgur Wheat Baked Salmon on a Veggie Parcel
Mince Turkey and Bulgur Wheat Stir Fry Prep time 20 mins Cooking day 30mins Serves 2-4
Ingredients 250g of Lean Mince Turkey 2 cups Bulgur Wheat Turmeric Coconut oil 2 Medium Carrots (to be chopped or diced) Coriander Courgettes (zucchini) Garlic Red Chili Peppers (any variety will do!)- chopped up Pink Himalayan Salt
Cooking Instructions To a flat pan, add the lean mince turkey and stir fry until mildly brown or cooked evenly. Then remove from the pan and set aside. To the flat pan add Âź teaspoon or less of coconut oil until it melts if solid. Then add the carrots, red chilies (as tolerable), courgettes, garlic. Cook through such that the carrots are moderately soft but crunchy. Add the lean mince turkey to the vegetables, stir fry all together, season with pink Himalayan salt to taste.
For the Bulgur Wheat In a pot of boiling water, add the bulgur wheat, turmeric and a pinch of Pink Himalayan salt (careful not to add too much water so that it doesn’t come out overly cooked into very soft consistency). Cook for 10mins and then simmer on very low heat for a further 2mins, remove from fire, cover and leave to stand for 1 min or until all the water has been soaked up by the bulgur wheat and has become soft, not mushy and then uncover. Transfer the bulgur wheat to a plate, and add the lean mince turkey stir fry to the bulgur, chop up coriander and sprinkle on top to make a tasty complete mouthwatering dish!!
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Mixed Herb Potato Fish Pie Prep time 10 mins Cooking day 20mins Serves 2-3
Ingredients 400g Fish medley (combination of cod, salmon, smoked haddock) 1-2 cloves garlic Peas Pink Himalayan salt 1 shallots 2 handfuls spinach (thinly sliced) Parsley Dash of coconut oil/cream Dash of black pepper 1 large sweet potato and 1 medium normal potato (marish can be so fluffy)
Cooking Instructions Prep all veggies (dice, chop etc.), preheat oven at 150°C Season fish medley with salt, garlic, parsley, black pepper, thinly sliced spinach, shallots and then transfer into an oven dish (set aside until next step has been completed) Cut all potatoes bring to boil until soft (salt is optional for the potatoes). Once the potatoes have soften, transfer to a mixing dish, add a dash of coconut cream or oil instead of butter Scoop the mixed mash and place on top of the fish medley herb mix. Spread evenly like a bed spread on a bed. Cover with foil and place in oven for 20mins then remove foil, increase temp and bake for a further 5mins at 200°C for the top to “brown”. Serve with peas.
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Tuna & Chick Pea on a Bed of Bulgur Wheat Cooking day 30mins Serves 2
Ingredients 2 cups Bulgur wheat Turmeric (optional) 2 tins of chickpeas (can also use uncooked chickpeas and soak overnight as time allows) Coriander 2 Tins of tuna 2 red bell peppers Himalayan salt (or any other salt of choice) Black pepper
Cooking Instructions In a pot of boiling water, add the bulgur wheat, turmeric and add Pink Himalayan salt (careful not to add too much water so that it doesn’t come out overly cooked into very soft consistency). Cook for 10mins and then simmer on very low heat for a further 2mins, remove from fire, cover and leave to stand for 1 min or until all the water has been soaked up by the bulgur wheat and has become soft, not mushy and then uncover. Prep the red bell peppers by removing the seeds, place on a baking tray, can spray a little coconut or olive oil on peppers, Bake for 10mins, remove the back and cut into thin slices Then transfer bulgur wheat on to a plate, sprinkle chopped coriander, followed by the sliced peppers, the chickpeas and tuna to follow, Sprinkle black pepper as desired and can add a touch of salt to taste.
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Baked Salmon on a Veggie Parcel Prep time 15 mins Cooking day 20mins Serves 2
Ingredients 2-4 steaks of salmon courgettes Red bell pepper Asparagus 4 potatoes (marish can be so yummy!) Parsley Cavolo Nero Coconut oil Pink Himalayan salt Flakes of chili (optional)
Cooking Instructions Season the salmon with garlic and Himalayan and keep aside for 20 mins to marinate Layer vegetables and potato on foil paper or parchment paper Sprinkle salt, chili flakes (If using) and a bit of oil (coconut or olive). Place Salmon steaks onto the veg bed and wrap, fold and place in oven to cook for 2025mins. Remove from oven to a piping hot dish!
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Don’t Throw it All Away Sharon and Naomi Steadman
DTAA is an acronym for “Don’t Throw it All Away”. DTAA is a drama production company founded by mother and daughter Sharon and Naomi Steadman. We both co-write the plays Sharon the mum works on the drama side making contacts with community centres and relevant theatre company whilst Naomi will be running confidence building and self-development courses for young people aged 16-25. We aim to reach young people who are drawn to a path of crime to consider the effects and consequences such a life has; not just for the victims but the perpetrator too.
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What inspired you to create DTAA? We see the need for a drastic change in this City regarding the young people and violence. We provide hope and an alternative way of leading their lives; one that will provide new opportunities, another choice that many will not think they had, encouraging young people to invest in their future within a safe environment. In doing this we strongly believe we are helping to contribute, we believe in time, this will give a new lease of ambition in their minds that will help to reduce the yearly death rate and imprisonment of the young people in our society.
Sharon- speaking to some of my children and their friends, I believe there is a struggle for young people to walk down the street and make eye contact with each other without a potential problem occurring between the two. There is a struggle with housing, there isn’t much help from the government and councils. Sharon & Naomi- One of the main struggles that I’ve found is money and lack of it. Many are struggling with the need to make money quick to fund their lifestyle. Those that find it difficult to get a job face being sanctioned from the job centre for months at a time. Lack of ambition and hope sometimes prohibits them from finding a job.
Sharon when did you realise you have a special interest in young people? I first felt drawn to young people around 2015. I was watching the news when I heard about the murder of a young black boy in Enfield, I found my spirit disturbed; I couldn’t shake off that feeling. I thought about how young he had died; and not even having the chance to start his life properly. I wondered where he’d end up after death and whether or not he’d known God, I also thought about how his mother would feel, losing her son, I couldn’t begin to imagine it. As I’d walk down the street passing a young boy, my heart would begin to beat fast- as if I was anxious or nervous. I used to silently pray in my heart for them, that God would protect them. After a while I began asking God how would I be able to reach them, and how could I make a difference?
Naomi how does it feel to work with your mum? To be honest it doesn’t feel like anything different. Growing up I usually helped my mum with editing and writing some of her plays so its not much different now. The only thing is sometimes its nonstop working, but it’s for a good cause, something we are both passionate about.
What are the challenges young people face nowadays?
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Recently I was Speaking to a young man I know, he has learning disabilities and struggles to get or keep a job. He doesn’t feel he gets much help from the job centre without being looked down upon. This is just one of the reasons why many may find it hard to resist a life of crime (e.g. selling drugs) to fund their lifestyles. Even peer pressure and the need to keep up with the latest trends, which are un/knowingly promoted through social media, and music videos, ideas that feed into their minds that it is okay, good to do drugs and drive new plates Mercedes or BMW, that they need to “make a name for themselves” by hurting another youth, which is another point in itself. Naomi- I feel that sometimes older generations may
not always understand problems that young people are facing, and believe in a ‘quick fix solution’ that will solve the crisis; by the young person getting up and getting a job. Leaving the bigger issues often overlooked.
How can the mature help the young people? Sharon- I believe we should listen more and realise that we are all individuals, and stop stereotyping and prejudging without listening to them. We shouldn’t force our views on them and tell them what they should and shouldn’t do but if we are able to steer them in the right directions if we can. Naomi- Agreeing with my mum I would add how important it is for the young to learn from the older generations, because with more life experience comes wisdom.
which is not just shallow knowledge, but from experiences I’ve faced with my children. This, I believe has made me easier to talk to. I choose to have empathy for others putting myself in their position, hearing their daily struggles. It has created an open door for young people to walk through if they need someone to talk to, gaining some advice if needed, as I feel what’s important is to listen without judging, and that’s what I do, I do not judge their individual life choices. It has been a real eye opener, sometimes we forget we were young once, I feel like different experiences has allowed me to see into the mind of a young person and look through their eyes, even just from raising my own children who are now from the age of 20-35years old, and then seeing my 6 grand children grow up, it keeps me current. This has allowed me to be patient, it is a very humbling experience.
What was the toughest challenge you faced bringing up your children? My boys mainly were rebellious and tried to sneak out often and always seemed to get themselves involved in some kind of trouble. It was sleepless nights worrying about them, wondering when they’d return home safe behind locked doors.
What in your experience is the biggest barrier between generations? Sharon- Culture. Growing up was very different in my days, we didn’t have all this technology it’s much faster. We’d say that is the biggest barrier as it can hinder us from relating and understanding the issues and other social norms.
Sharon how has bringing up your own children and experience helped to bridge the gap with the younger generation now? Raising 7 children has taught me a lot, it has bridged the gap by allowing me to communicate with their friends creating strong relationships where I care and worry about them just as I’d worry about my own children. I’d listen to what troubles them and am able to share some encouragement 68 |
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Naomi what was the biggest challenge for you growing up? How did you overcome it? The biggest challenge was finding my identity, I was often picked on in school because of my hair, my spots or my timid nature. Sometimes it seemed as if people didn’t like me for no real reason. My spirit was crushed, I used to sit at the back to be avoided and pretend I couldn’t hear what others were saying about me, but I never made out to my family that there was a problem, I used to come home and be total opposite of how I was at school, I’d be bubbly, talkative whilst inside I hated who I was, because of what they had said at school about me. So, the challenge was not believe what they (at school) had said about me as they crushed my self-esteem but to believe what God had says about me. Once I left school and was applying for jobs I had to adopt an attitude of; if this job is for me God will make a way, if not then God has something better for me. That gave me the confidence to go to interviews and not be crushed if I didn’t get
it. Looking back into my school days I see where certain situations we’re allowed to occur to keep me from the crowd, and I can really see how God had set me apart. I am appreciative for the experiences I went through as now I can see what I was kept from and how my experiences can be used to uplift and steer others.
What challenges did you face putting the play together to having people come and see it? Finding actors willing to volunteer 3-4 hours a week to bring this play from an idea to reality, to bring the play off paper to the live stage. Also advertising and reaching youth through our young facebook page. It was the first time putting on a play so to see it come together when many times we thought it wouldn’t was an achievement in itself, and with each play we’ll gain more experience and knowledge, to make it smoother next time.
How can people reading this support you? For those who are Christians and support our vision please pray that God will continue to direct us and give us His wisdom; so, we are able to relate and reach out to all young people who may approach DTAA. That we may be adequately equipped to deal with issues involving our youth that may arise. Also, if you could include in your prayers; that God will cause us to find favour with those who are able to open doors with the organisations e.g. funding. To those who are reading this we invite you to come and support us by watching our plays and bring along the youth so that our message of hope will spread across the boroughs. And to any organisations that are in the position to help us in any way you can we welcome you to get in touch. Lastly, if anyone would like to volunteer or knows of any youth that maybe be interested in volunteering their time as actors to star in our plays can contact us, as there is on our team for anyone who believes in this ministry. If you are called with a passion to the youths you can contact us directly at our email address: Dontthrowitallaway@hotmail.co.uk or find our page on Facebook @dtaayouth
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her story matters
If you were to speak to a young person now who has lost hope and is feeling lost what would you say to them? Naomi- no matter what situations you may be facing do not give up, where there’s life there is hope. Sometimes what’s needed is for you to evaluate, take the time to find out what you are really passionate about, what really moves you, what is on your mind daily. Seek your assignment and when you find it run after it! Don’t let no one stand in your way, and aim to be the best at what you want to do, not settling for an average place, because this world needs you, you were created for a time such as this and no one person is the same. We have all been wired differently, and allowed to go through some of the heartache and troubles we have faced to propel us into our destiny. You are IMPORTANT and good enough to succeed your dreams. As rapper Lecrae said in one of his tunes “your purpose on earth is far from worthless”.
What’s next for both of you? We are currently writing various short films and would like to get into creating music that may draw youth. Naomi- on top of that I look forward to studying Psychology to continuous build my skills to offer a wider range of course/projects for the future.
About the founders of DTAA Sharon is called by god to serve as a prayer counselor, which deals with inner healing and emotional wholeness. Naomi is an encourager who has always had a passion for uplifting and encouraging young women/ by the word and through her life experiences.
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