Dad Jokes

Epic (just kidding, they’re bad)

S: What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers. J: Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker? It was craving a well-balanced meal.

Dad Jokes

by Sophia Liu, 804

R: What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs. I: Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.

I put them in reverse alphabetical order because I felt like it.

Z: I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was “bread: in captivity!

Y: What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste. Q: Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks. H: How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

P: What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. G: Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

F: What runs but never goes anywhere? A fridge.

E: What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.

X: How does a scientist freshen her breath? With eXperi-mints. O: When do computers overheat? When they need to vent. D: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.

W: What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music. N: What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody Knows. C: What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A con descending.

B: Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

V: What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest. M: What did one horse say to the other at the dance? “You mustang-o with me.”

U: Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything. L: Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.

T: What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. K: Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion. A: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a welldressed man on a bicycle? Attire.