Epic (just kidding, they’re bad)
Dad Jokes by Sophia Liu, 804
S: What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
tightrope walker? It was craving a well-balanced meal.
R: What do cows most like to
I: Did you hear that I’m read-
read? Cattle-logs.
Q: Why can’t you trust duck I put them in reverse alphabetical order because I felt like it.
doctors? They’re all quacks.
P: What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
ing a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.
H: How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
G: Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Z: I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was “bread: in captivity!
F: What runs but never goes anywhere? A fridge.
Y: What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.
X: How does a scien-
J: Why did the jaguar eat the
E: What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.
tist freshen her breath? With eXperi-mints.
O: When do computers over-
D: What do you call a sleeping
W: What kind of music do
N: What do you call someone
C: What do you call a snobby
heat? When they need to vent. dinosaur? A dino-snore.
criminal going down the mummies listen to? Wrap mu- with no body and no nose? Nostairs? A con descending. body Knows. sic.
V: What did the policeman say M: What did one horse say to to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
the other at the dance? “You mustang-o with me.”
U: Why can’t you trust atoms? L: Why did the man get fired They make up everything.
from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
T: What’s the difference be-
K: Why can’t you trust the tween the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweet- king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion. ment and the other an oinkment. @theHelm ~ page 11
B: Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
A: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a welldressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
