TEACHER OF THE YEAR | STELLAR KIDS | HOLY TRINITY SCHOOL PROFILE
Smart Parenting in the Lowcountry SPRING 2020
OH NO!
TEEN DRIVERS HANDLING BITING STAND BY YOUR VAN
GET OUTSIDE: 1000 HOURS CHALLENGE
HEY PARENTS,
FEB 4 ‑ 23
ONE OF THE GREATEST COMEDIES!
“straight up funny!” – THE CO U RIER THE CAST OF RUMORS, PHOTOGR APHY BY GUSTAVO R AT TIA
FEB 17 8 pm Kreskin astonishes audiences with his unearthly ability to translate thoughts, predict the future, and see the unseen!
Four couples arrive at the anniversary celebration for New York’s deputy mayor and wife, only to find the mayor with a gunshot wound and his wife nowhere to be found. The madcap antics at this dinner party spin off into farcical hilarity.
MAR 7 11 am – 1 pm Celebrate National Youth Arts Month with crafts, dance and drama workshops, entertainment and more!
22 Schools Across the Lowcountry Turn Pages to Meet the Pros at the RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing Golf Tournament The lighthearted scholastic competition gives area elementary school students in grades K-5 a chance to win $500 for their school, $150 for their class, tickets to the RBC Heritage and the chance to meet a professional PGA TOUR golfer at Coca-Cola Youth Day, on the Tuesday of tournament week.
APRIL
13 |
19
Harbour Town Golf Links Hilton Head Island, SC
For more information on the tournament and how to get your school involved next year, visit rbcheritage.com.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
8 12 23 07 | PARENTING: ASK THE EXPERT: Parenting advice for Spring cleaning. 08 | EXPECTING: KNOWLEDGE TO EMPOWER MOMS AT WORK Do you know your rights as a mom-to-be? 12 | LITTLE: WHEN YOUR CHILD IS THE BITER Understanding the reasons for the behavior. 15 | MIDDLE: TATTLE TALE VS. HELPFUL INSIGHT The difference between tattling and telling at any age.
4 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
20 | TWEEN: TIPS FOR HANDLING WHEN YOUR TEEN TALKS BACK How to handle the ever changing pre-teen attitude.
ON THE COVER
23 | TEEN: BEHIND THE WHEEL Anxious parents, take note: teen drivers. 28 | HEALTH: CONNECTION VS. CORRECTION 3 ways to better understand our kids. 31 | PARENTING: 3 KEY TIPS TO OVERCOME BURNOUT Helping to achieve a worklife balance.
Cover photo by Tanya Leshe Photography – mom of 2 lives in Beaufort.
- SPRING 2020 -
46
36 32 | PARENTING: STAND BY YOUR VAN There comes a time when all parents must embrace their parental taxi. 36 | FOOD: PREPPING FOR SUCCESS Family friendly meal kits. 40 | EDUCATION: TEACHER OF THE YEAR Meet Michelle Gordon: Beaufort County’s Teacher of the Year. 44 | FINANCE: GETTING YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW Tips to get your finances in order
46 | SCHOOL PROFILE: HOLY TRINITY CLASSICAL CHRISTIAN SCHOOL A look into this Beaufort school through the eyes of a senior there. 48 | MARK YOUR CALENDARS Festivals throughout the Lowcountry! 56 | GET OUTSIDE: 1000 HOURS OUTSIDE Are you up for the challenge? 60 | STELLAR KIDS Local kids who are going places.
56 62 | LET’S GET SOCIAL #lowcountryfamilyfun 63 | PIQ GIGGLES Kids say the funniest things.
SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 5
Smart Parenting in the Lowcountry
WELCOME TO PIQ!
KIDS ARE MESSY...PARENTING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.
H
appy 2020! As we welcome in a new year and a new decade we are also celebrating our FIRST BIRTHDAY at ParenthoodIQ. Happy Birthday to us! In this past year, we have welcomed 25 new supporters, interviewed 15 stellar kids, published 50 articles in print, and hundreds of articles online. We have reached people by distributing print publications to 20+ places, and have hundreds of people subscribed to our e-newsletter. Whoo! What a wild time! In the gardening world, plants will occasionally sleep, creep, then leap. This means they grow slowly in the first year, creeping in the second, and bursting to life in the third. All good things take time to grow, and PIQ is no exception. We have YOU to thank for reading and have our supporters to thank for believing in us. Each of these fine businesses and organizations in our area help us to keep our content local, as does our commitment to hiring and working with writers who know the Lowcountry intimately. In this issue, you will find no exception. From our crowd-sourced, “What do you REALLY need in your hospital bag,” to littles who bite, tweens who talk back, and teens who are driving, we’ve got your back. You’re invited to join in spending 1,000 hours outside and can giggle as we report a few LOL moments from our community in our new section, PIQ Giggles. As always, your comprehensive events list, complete with spring festivals, is located in the back of the pub.
Happy Spring! You’re welcome to join us in the conversation by following us on Facebook and Instagram, and by subscribing to our weekly e-newsletter. You can always email us at editor@parenthoodiq.com.
FOUNDER
Marc Frey marc@mediamarketingteam.com PUBLISHER Meredith DiMuzio meredith@mediamarketingteam.com CONTENT CURATOR Kate Vermilyea kate@parenthoodiq.com ART DIRECTOR Michael Lupi mike@hiltonheadmonthly.com BRAND AMBASSADORS Karrie Comeau Karrie@mediamarketingteam.com Heather Edge heather@mediamarketingteam.com CONTRIBUTORS: Amanda Baskin Janie Bickham Thomas Dowling Erin Erenberg Suzanna Eisinger Kristen Griffin Dierdre Johns Barry Kaufman Sarah Lawrence Chris Lee Julie Markle Nicole Schultz EMAIL US AT:
parenting@parenthoodiq.com address 14 Westbury Park Way, Suite 200, Bluffton 29910 offices 843.384.4488 web parenthoodiq.com
ParenthoodIQ.com @parenthood_iq @parenthoodiq Karrie Comeau
Meredith DiMuzio
6 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
Kate Vermilyea
Heather Edge
Ask the Experts
A Facebook user recently emailed us asking for a safe, all-purpose cleaner they can make at home? Christina Rizk, a physicians assistant and mom of 3 on Hilton Head responded with her go to recipe.
Homemade Citrus All -Purpose Cleaner Ingredients • 1 quart tightly packed citrus peels (clementine, orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit—whatever you’re eating!) • White distilled vinegar • Water • Unscented liquid castile soap • Lemon essential oil, optional Instructions 1. Pack a quart size glass jar tightly with leftover citrus peels, and then fill jar to the top with vinegar. Close and set in a sunny spot to infuse for at least two weeks. 2. Strain the vinegar, discard the peels, and store the vinegar in a glass jar in a dark, cool spot. 3. To make all-purpose cleaner, pour 1/2 cup of the vinegar into a spray bottle. Add in 2 cups water, 1 teaspoon castile soap, and 20 drops lemon essential oil, if using. Screw on lid and shake well. 4. To use: shake the mixture well, and then spray onto surface and wipe clean with a damp cloth. Notes • Yes, this still smells like vinegar! But only for a second. The vinegar scent quickly dissipates and you are left with a fresh citrus scent. • Do NOT use this cleaner on natural stone countertops or tiles. Extended use of vinegar can cause pitting in natural stone. PIQ
Please send parenting questions to editor@parenthoodiq.com SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 7
8 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
– EXPECTING –
KNOWLEDGE TO EMPOWER MOMS AT WORK By Erin Erenberg
Y
ou may have read the recent lawsuit against Frontier Airlines: A group of pilots and flight attendants sued the airline for discrimination on the basis of motherhood. The women claim they were forced to take extended and largely unpaid leave while pregnant and their need to pump at work wasn’t accommodated. This got the lawyer juices flowing, so I decided to share some information on maternal rights at work, with my favorite girls - you. Laws protecting pregnant women and new mothers are complicated, but here are some simple facts you should know, and a starting point for Googling if you’re
navigating a tricky workplace experience. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA), Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) combine to provide mothers with protection at work. Your rights under these laws cover more than just pregnancy. You’re covered if: • you are pregnant; • you were pregnant; • you could become pregnant, or intend to become pregnant; • you have a medical condition that is related to pregnancy; • you had an abortion, or are considering having an abortion. SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 9
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS • If you’re experiencing symptoms of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders even a year after you had your baby, you should check into your rights for time off or for special accommodation at work. • Don’t sign and resign. If you ask for an arrangement at work that will make your life easier as a pregnant person or new mother, and you’re asked to sign something resigning from the position, don’t do it. You’re giving up your right to take action later. • If you go back to work and you’re breastfeeding, ask for a place to pump that is
not the bathroom, and let your employer know that you’ll be taking breaks to pump milk. Every state protects a woman’s right to pump at work, so even if you’re not a “covered employee” you’re still coming from a position of protection under the law. Totum Women will serve up more on maternal rights this year and share them with you. Mothers in the workplace are a “protected class” under the law; you stand in more strength than you realize. Know your rights, and ask for what you need. PIQ
Erin Erenberg a former IP attorney and serial business builder in tech, entertainment and media. Erin launched Totum Women almost 2 years ago as a community to serve women globally as they enter motherhood . Totum provides community, resources, products and advocacy to help women feel whole as they journey into andthrough motherhood. www.totumwomen.com 10 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
Modern Barn
– LITTLE –
WHEN YOUR CHILD IS
THE BITER By Janine Bickham
Oh. No!
You just received the dreaded phone call that there was an incident involving your child at daycare. Whether the teacher is reporting that your child has been bitten by one of their peers or if your child was the biter, this call may be a tough one to swallow. It may result in a pit in your stomach or cause your blood to boil. Before you spiral into Mama Bear mode, you should know that biting can be a normal behavior among children under three years old. Developmentally, it is a way to explore with objects, express emotions of fear, anger, or frustration, and a need for control and attention prior to having words to do so. As children mature, gain self-control, develop problem-solving skills, and learn to cope, they should outgrow biting. If biting is a frequent occurrence, impacting the safety of your child and others, it may be time to dive into some detective work and figure out why. Does the biting stem from a medical, behavioral, or sensory root cause? 12 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
MEDICAL Does the child have any physiological things going on that need to be ruled out? Does biting relieve pain in the mouth, head, or ear caused by sensitivity, tooth decay, teething, or headaches? “Does the child have a medical diagnosis that includes low muscle tone causing fatigue of the musculature of the mouth?” Chewing crunchy foods is a tiresome task for a child. Limited chewing results in poor oral awareness. Biting can provide feedback to the muscles of the mouth that are not stimulated due to a child’s diet. Is the child on medication that has side effects that cause aggression or irritability? Is biting being used as a calming mechanism? Lack of speech and language can cause communication barriers and the child may struggle to express their wants and needs verbally. Biting is an innate response to express pain, hunger, and emotion.
BEHAVIORAL Most toddlers are still developing emotional regulation and coping skills. Lack of routine and transitions between activities or environments can stimulate confusion and fear; a child may bite to feel in control of her body and environment during periods of change. If tasks are too hard or not developmentally appropriate it can cause an increase in negative behavior. The child may bite to avoid the task or express frustration and the need for help. Children looking for attention may bite to see what type of reaction they can get from others, whether it is positive or negative. SENSORY PROCESSING A child who is hypo-sensitive (craves intensity) can seek intense input in their mouth. An unintegrated suck, swallow breath pattern, a non-breastfed child, and a picky eater that only eats soft malleable foods may be looking for a way to achieve more oral stimulation. They achieve this by biting. A child who is hypersensitive can be easily overstimulated by external stimuli. They present with higher levels of cortisol (stress hormone) and commonly go into a fight or flight mode in environments that are busy, too loud or too bright. These environments can trigger the defense mechanism and send the child into protection mode, which results in biting. Now that the detective work is done and you know why biting is occurring, you can be proactive instead of reactive. Always have age-appropriate expectations for each child based on his unique skills and abilities. The child’s schedule and/ or routines should be predictable and consistent in all environments to aid with transitions. Set predictable and clear expectations so the child knows what to
expect and feels safe. You can support transitions with the use of a picture schedule, a first-and-then board, and by communicating what’s next. Set up social environments to be positive and inviting. Provide the child with opportunities throughout the day to achieve sensory and emotional regulation. Designate a “calm down space” free of clutter and stimulation, i.e. tent, dim lights, soft music. Create a calming and organizing “toolbox” so the child has appropriate coping strategies to use. Access to sensory-rich activities that help target each sensory system, i.e. chew toys, drinks with a straw, crunchy foods, rocking chair, tactile bins, dim lights, calming music, etc. help a child to cope. Validate the child’s feelings of fear, or confusion: “I see you are upset right now, but let’s try to take three deep breaths.” Always model the desired behavior of not biting. Talk about what a “calm body,” and a “gentle mouth” looks like. Implement a positive sticker chart and use it each time a child is showing the desired behavior and uses a coping mechanism. If she can breathe deeply with a “calm mouth,” while you count to three, they earn a sticker. Limitless Pediatric Solutions specializes in sensory integration and helping all children socialize and develop coping skills necessary for mastery of their environment. Limitless offers Spanish and English mommy-and-me classes, toddler camps, and aftercare programs in Bluffton. For a free developmental screening or more information, contact Janine Bickham MS,OTR/L at 843-706-9367, jbickham@limitlesspeds.com or visit www. limitlesspeds.com Always seek assistance from your child’s pediatrician who can refer you to a specialist as needed. PIQ SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 13
Beaufort County School District
Pre-Kindergarten and Kindergarten Registration February 1 - March 1*
Come Prepared for Class
Here’s what you’ll need to get your child registered for school.
o Birth Certificate o Immunizations o Proofs of Residency Benefits of Pre-K & Kindergarten • Enhanced cognitive, verbal and social development • Significantly higher IQs • Positive impact on children’s health and dental care • Positive impact on children’s emotional and behavioral outcomes • Reduced criminal behavior and reduced incidence of substance abuse *Because space is limited for Pre-K, 4-year-olds will be assessed for possible enrollment during Child Find screenings the week of March 2-6, 2020.
Register at the school in your attendance area For more information please call the Office of Early Childhood, Parenting and Literacy• SPRING 843-521-2399 or Ashley.Hutchison@beaufort.k12.sc.us 14 Family ParenthoodIQ.com 2020
on
– MIDDLE –
TATTLING VS TELLING By Julie Markel
st
t
5
al You can help your child understand the difference by talking through various situations.
W
e spend countless hours teaching our children to use their words, share with us and include us in every experience. But as they become older, how do we teach them the difference between telling us the things we need to know instead of tattling every time that something doesn’t go their way? SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 15
– MIDDLE – This is a natural, developmental stage that all parents will eventually maneuver as their children become socially engaged with other children. This is another life experience that presents an opportunity to develop life-long skills that include problemsolving abilities, effective communication skills and the ability to know what battles to choose in life. If we jump in too quickly to solve every problem, hurt feeling or perceived injustice, we may actually prevent them from learning how to problem solve on their own. There are times that adult help is necessary, so teaching them the difference is a critical first step. Begin a conversation that explains the difference between telling and tattling. Help them to understand that it is tattling if the purpose is to get someone else in trouble; the action/problem is not a big deal; no one is being hurt or placed in danger; or they have not yet attempted to solve the problem on their own. However, it is telling if someone is hurt or sick; they have attempted to solve the problem on their own and it persists; or someone is in danger/safety is involved. In addition, there are some really great books to read together that help them 16 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
understand the difference such as, “A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue” by Julia Cooke and “Don’t Squeal Unless It’s a Big Deal” by Jeanie Franz Ransom. You can help your child understand the difference by talking through various situations and allowing them to identify if the situation warrants telling or is an example of tattling. You can share various scenarios such as “He keeps staring at me?”- Is this tattling or telling (tattling) and then have a discussion about why this type of situation would be tattling and problem solve together options on how to deal with the situation. When your child approaches you with a problem, try and help them identify the emotion that they are feeling: anger, frustration, worry? Then, help them to brainstorm solutions. Even if the problem does warrant “adult help,” allow them the opportunity to think through the situation with you. If we avoid jumping in to “solve” the situation for them too soon, we will allow their confidence to grow as they begin to further develop their own problem-solving skills. As tempting as it is to view the problem from only our child’s perspective, allow them to think about
Smart Parenting in the Lowcountry
NEWSLETTER Available Now! TATTLETALE
Help your child understand they're tattling if the purpose is to:
1. 2. 3. 4.
Get someone else in trouble. The action/problem is not a big deal. No one is being hurt or placed in danger. They have not yet attempted to solve the problem on their own.
the others involved and what they may be experiencing/feeling. Remember, your child may be “tattling” because they simply don’t know what to do about a situation. As you work through these situations with your child, you will watch their confidence grow, along with their own problem-solving skills, while they develop empathy for others. PIQ
Julie Markle is a school guidance counselor with 17 years of experience at the elementary, middle, and high school levels. She is married to Jeff, and is Mom to Alex. Originally from Indiana, she moved to South Carolina three years ago and loves the beach, boating, and sunshine!
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SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 17
18 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 19
– TWEEN –
TIPS FOR WHEN YOUR KID TALKS BACK By Amanda Baskin
P
re-Teen and Teenage years can be filled with a lot of changes, for both teens and parents. From working toward more independence to balancing hormones, these changes can seem good and bad. One of those not-so-great changes is the teenage attitude, especially when your teen starts talking back and stops listening. This is something that hits that special spot of every parent’s nerves. So, what can you do if your teen is talking back? SET BOUNDARIES Let your child know what is allowed and what’s crossing the line. Teenagers will push boundaries as they work to discover how much independence they have and where they can gain more. Setting clear boundaries for healthy,
20 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
productive communication will help limit the extent that a teenager will talk back to you, by letting them know what is and isn’t acceptable. Examples of ways to set boundaries are: “I want to help, but I can’t until you’ve calmed down”; “That type of tone is hurtful. I am willing to talk when we can do so in a respectful way.”; or “I understand you’re upset, but you cannot treat me that way.” Yes, teens may even talk back to these statements, but it establishes behavior you will and will not allow for future conversations. GIVE REASONABLE CONSEQUENCES As a part of setting boundaries, it is important to discipline your teenager. Finding reasonable and effective consequences is key to leading to the
behaviors you want to see. Studies have found that punishment does not have the lasting impacts that rewards do. So if every time your teen talks back you take away their phone, then computer, then video games, and continue until there’s nothing left, they aren’t going to learn what you’re trying to teach them. There may be some short-term remorse or brief change of actions, but ultimately they are not learning the lesson of respect and healthy communication. When your child has a good conversation or listens to you the first time, sincerely thank them for listening and the way they are acting. They may roll their eyes, but they will feel the internal reward. That said, we all know there are times where there must be negative consequences. When this occurs, make sure there is a conversation that explains what is happening. For example: “I am taking your phone away for the night because you were disrespectful. I want to give it back to you once you can acknowledge what happened and understand that how you spoke to me was not OK.” This sets boundaries while letting your teenager know how long the punishment will last and why it’s occurring. STAY CALM One of the most important aspects of setting boundaries and consequences is how you do it. You need to stay calm. When your teen talks back it can feel annoying, even enraging. But if you lose your cool, whether
SETTING CLEAR BOUNDARIES FOR HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE COMMUNICATION raising your voice or acting irrationally, your teenager will feel attacked and disrespected. And we all know that’s when the listening stops. So take a deep breath and calmly respond to them, being aware of your tone and body language. These aspects of non-verbal communication can greatly influence whether a conversation intensifies or deescalates. MODEL WHAT YOU WANT While you are working toward staying calm, remind yourself that you are someone your child is looking up to. You are constantly modeling for them what is and what isn’t appropriate for the “real world.” If you want your child to stay off their phone at dinner or listen when someone’s talking, make sure you are doing so as well. Yes, as adults we have many exceptions to the rules children must follow, but they are constantly watching how you handle situations and what you do. Model the behavior you are asking of them. Not only does this set an example, but it also establishes healthy habits for your family’s home life. PIQ
Amanda Baskin, LMSW is a therapist at Water’s Edge Counseling, where she works primarily with children, adolescents, and college-age clients. She applies a variety of therapeutic techniques, such as CBT, DBT, Play therapy, and Solution-Focused therapy, to work with clients of all ages to help them reach their goals. SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 21
– TEEN –
BEHIND THE WHEEL ANXIOUS PARENTS, TAKE NOTE: TEEN DRIVERS By Suzanne Eisinger
H
earts pounding, our eyes anxiously scanning the surroundings for danger, our fingers gripping the seat beneath us. One foot hovers in mid-air, poised to slam against a non-existent brake pedal. A nightmare? A scene from the latest horror movie? No, just another exciting episode in the ongoing saga we call parenting — teaching our teens to drive. South Carolina teenagers can apply for their beginner permits at the age of 15. It’s one of the many steps that eventually leads to them navigating the roads of life without us. But before they can truly get behind the wheel solo, they must practice. So, buckle up, Mom and Dad, because you’ve got to log 40 hours of driving with your teen driver before he or she can qualify for a permanent license. Of course, they’ll also need eight hours of classroom driver education and six hours of behind-the-wheel training with a licensed instructor. That’s where companies like 123 Drive! come in. Doreen and Mark Haughton-James have been providing behind-the-wheel and
22 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
classroom driving education on Hilton Head Island and in Bluffton for almost 10 years as the co-owners of 123 Drive! And they’ve seen it all from their spot in the passenger seat. “It’s a fun job,” Doreen said, reflecting on some of the more hilarious — and slightly unnerving — moments she’s had teaching teen drivers. Luckily, she comes equipped with a sense of humor and lots of patience, not to mention a passenger-side brake pedal, an extra rear-view mirror, “and a long left arm” she uses to reach across the car to steer drivers back on course. Still, turning 15 is not in itself a license to drive, she said. “There’s a numerical age and a maturity age,” Doreen said. “Some kids at 15 are totally mature enough to drive a car. Some kids at 20 are not. Parents need to ask themselves, ‘Do I trust this child to take a 3,000-pound vehicle on the road?’” If the answer is yes, Doreen recommends parents begin with “commentary driving”: “Make your kids put their phones away and pay attention as you verbalize everything you’re doing as you
drive,” she explained. “‘I’m pulling out of the driveway. I’ve got the car in reverse. I’m going to turn the wheel this way, because I want the car to go this way…’ There’s so much that we do when we’re driving that we don’t even think about.” Once your child actually gets behind the wheel, continue this practice by describing what they’re doing, what they should be checking for and what’s up ahead. Empty church or school parking lots are great places to get in a little practice, and when you think your teen is ready for a challenge, the “Sonic in Bluffton is the hardest drive-thru (to navigate) anywhere,” Doreen said. The most important thing to keep in mind, Doreen warned, is that “you will make mistakes.” And both teens and parents can learn from these errors.
Just ask Hilton Head attorney Bree Kennedy, whose son took the family car for a spin and flattened a neighbor’s mailbox in the process, or Kathleen Sanz, a Hilton Head teacher whose daughter had a slight mishap at the local drivethru: “$5,000 worth of damage for a $5 cup of coffee,” Sanz recalled ruefully. Still, lessons were learned, and those teens — and countless others — eventually became successful drivers by learning what not to do next time. Some teens might be more nervous than excited to take the keys. If that’s the case, Doreen offers this advice: “Baby steps. Have them drive down your street 20 times before venturing out. Driving is mostly confidence and a little bit of skill.” There might actually be a benefit if your teen is anxious: A nervous driver is a cautious driver. PIQ
Camp Woodie is a coed summer camp for 7-16 year olds established by the SC Waterfowl Association. Our mission is to pass on the legacy of our wildlife heritage to the next generation.
Camp Woodie
campwoodie
wildlifeedcenter.org/camp-woodie/
SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 23
– HEALTH –
CONNECTION VS. CORRECTION 3 WAYS TO BETTER UNDERSTAND OUR KIDS By Chris Lee
M
ost parents remember their 20-year-old selves who killed a cactus and believe it's a miracle that their kids are alive and still have 10 fingers and 10 toes. To every parent whose tired eyes are readying this: please know that you are doing an absolutely extraordinary job. The primary objective of this column is not to challenge the way you’ve raised your tiny humans, but to provide some new tools as you navigate the jungle of parenting, let alone the desert of adulting.
26 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
PHASE 1: A WHOLE NEW WORLD (Yes, all of these tips will include Disney references. You're welcome). A common question I get from parents is, “When my kid melts down, what do I do?” Psychology research shows that we build our belief systems from the age of 3 until around 12 years old. Why does that matter? Well, as much as this conversation is all about your kids and how to handle their reactions, really it’s about your reaction to their reactions. Think about a time as an adult that
you have gone to a new place. Your heart is racing, it’s very new, lots and lots of stimuli. Now, remember that this heart racing, sweaty palms and excited but nervous feeling is your child’s experience of life 90% of the time. When kids have a meltdown, it's a reflex reaction. It's a reaction to too much stimulus and it’s our job as parents to maintain patience for them and allow them to integrate life at their own speed. daughter When my daughter gets system overload in Target, I try to help her articulate what's going on with her. I say something like: “Hey, sweetie can you tell me what is going on? How do you feel? Do you want a hug?” Those questions will help her understand her emotions, give it direction, and the hug allows her to feel safe again. PHASE 2: LET IT GO Parents need a 3-mile fuse before we go kaboom. To stretch your patience, practice this self-care exercise. This simple journal or relaxation prompt is about forgiveness. Ask yourself, “What am I holding on to from today?” Then squeeze your hand into a fist, take a deep breath and release the fist and air in your lungs at the same time. Enjoy the feeling of emptying your bucket.
Repeat daily or as recommended by your stress levels. PHASE 3: YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME The best parenting hack, really the best relationship hack, is to shut up and listen. The most common emotion that causes elevated discussions between kids and parents is frustration. Most anger comes from confusion and lack of perspective. The best thing you can do is take five deep breathes and get down on your kid’s level, even if that means sitting down in the middle of Walmart and looking them in the eye. With that tool in mind, let your kid really let it rip. Don’t try to correct, try to connect. Let them teach themselves. Trust me when I say this takes effort. Listening takes more energy than it does to yell or grab your child, but not only will this build your ability to connect at a deeper level but it builds trust with them. They can really talk with you and as they grow up, stuff gets weird in teen land, who do you want them asking the hard questions to? You or Google? Let go of perfection and move your parenting model to progress. Happiness isn’t found in being the best, it’s about enjoying the journey towards progress. PIQ
Dr. Chris Lee is a speaker, consultant, coach and local chiropractor helping people enhance, upgrade and integrate life experiences using modern-day neuroscience. His brain-based approach to living a healthier life has taken him from board rooms of Fortune 500 companies to local schools showing others with his story that the only thing holding you back from greatness is yourself. SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 27
– PARENTING –
3 KEY
TIPS
TO OVERCOME BURNOUT AND HELP ACHIEVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE By Kristen Griffin
A
ccording to a recent University of Phoenix survey more than half (55%) of employed U.S. adults say they have experienced burnout. Of those who experienced burnout, 68% experienced fatigue, 65% experience anxiety, and 48% experience depression.
Feelings of burnout can be brought on by a number of things including a heavy workload, workplace stress, caregiving, and competing demands (i.e. from personal/ family life). While our culture is slowly understanding the importance of mental wellness in the workplace, we need to take steps to manage our burnout. If we don’t, it not only reduces our productivity, it spills into areas of our lives such as home, social and our physical health. Here are three key tips to help you start working toward overcoming burnout and achieving work-life balance:
1. CHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINT ON STRESS Stress is neither good nor bad, it just is. It is what we make stress mean that becomes good or bad. You get to choose. Often times we stress over a circumstance we cannot change instead of concentrating on thinking or feeling differently about the circumstance. We get to choose our thoughts and feelings. Stress is the most basic kind of resilience. For many of us, stress is a catalyst to jump-start our performance. You give stress meaning, so you need to ask SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 29
– PARENTING –
yourself what are you making stress mean in your life? Your thoughts and feelings drive your actions. Change your perceptions about stress. Even the positive events in your life, like a new job, participating in a sport or taking a vacation, cause a degree of stress. Stress can make you feel alive and engaged in life or even provide a breakthrough on something you been stuck on. You can use stress as a motivator or recognize it as a warning sign that you need to make a change. By changing our mindset, you can control what stress means and how you react. 2. MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME. DON’T MANAGE IT. Are you overscheduling or overcommitting? Remember the calendar does not overbook you, you do. Don’t manage your time, maximize it. We should be accountable for our time, just as we are with our money. You get the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else. How are you choosing to spend it? If you are overcommitted and stretched thin, remember, you allowed everything that is on your calendar to be there. Prioritize - the main things taking up your time should be the most important things in your life. Be mindful of how you are maximizing your time. Most of us think we excel at multi-tasking, but we don’t. Usually, it leads to us being distracted and unfocused, costing us more time. You are better off working on one task at a time. Organize your work around your energy levels. Start your morning with your most critical work or project. Starting the day with a sense 30 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
of accomplishment makes it easier to move on to the next thing. 3. MANAGE YOUR ENERGY. IT IS NOT A FINITE RESOURCE Time is a finite resource; energy is not. Energy can be systemically enhanced and regularly renewed. Most of us spend time on activities that zap our energy. By creating intentional rituals like earlier bedtimes, workout routines, and taking lunch breaks at work, we can renew our energy and reduce burnout. Yes, they are simple ideas, but they help you refuel and feel more positive overall. Schedule fun! With so many things competing for our time, fun doesn’t always schedule itself. Identify your “sweet spot” activities and find ways to do more of the things that bring you joy. Nothing boosts your energy like doing something you really love. For example, if connecting with your family is important, schedule regular sit-down
meals. Do you have a passion you always wanted to pursue? Find a group in the community that shares that passion. Make sure you understand your core values and put your energy into those values! If you are feeling workplace burnout, it is important to address it. Start by using these three tips focusing on your stress mindset, time and energy. Remember, you are aiming for progress not perfection. It takes practice and focus to learn new rituals. Celebrating your small successes
We need to take steps to manage our burnout. will help you build your confidence. Once you accept that you get to choose how you feel during every moment, you will find greater work-life balance! PIQ
Kristen Griffin is vice president of student services at University of Phoenix. In addition to leading a team at the university, the busy executive is a certified health and life coach, fitness enthusiast who teaches yoga, and most importantly, is a single mom raising a teenage boy. Kristen’s role at the university is to ensure working-adult students have the services they need to juggle school and life. She passionately believes that wellness and a healthy mindset in students and employees leads to optimal performance in the classroom and workplace. SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 31
– TRAVEL –
STAND BY YOUR VAN
THERE COMES A TIME WHEN ALL PARENTS MUST EMBRACE THEIR PARENTAL TAXI. By Barry Kaufman
B
efore kids, your choice of automobile is all about two factors: what you like and what you can afford.
The maddeningly small sliver in the middle of that Venn diagram represents what kind of car you’re going to drive. Maybe you’re the outdoorsy type who goes for an off-roader, maybe you’re more the high-octane muscle car type. Maybe you’re the sensible sedan type - no judgment. The point is, what you drive is solely your decision. And then kids come along. And suddenly, your car is not just your car. It’s a multi-functional transport for tiny humans, their various car seats and granola bar wrappers, and all of the equipment and gear that enables their 32 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
sports and extracurriculars. It’s at this point that your average parent finds their options narrowed down to just two. Do you choose a minivan and accept the fact that ample space is the price you pay for driving around in a mom-mobile? Or do you choose an SUV, where you can still feel that pre-kid sense of cool whenever you’re not hauling the little ones around? Having lived in both worlds, I’d like to offer what guidance I can. For several years, my primary kid taxi was a Dodge Nitro. For those of you who don’t remember Dodge’s last cool SUV,
the Nitro was an attempt to make an SUV that looked like an old-school hot rod and could tow the entire state of Rhode Island if need be. It was a beast. It was fun, but cramped. The Nitro had enough room for the whole family, as long as my three kids didn’t mind sitting elbow-to-elbow on a bench seat. And while it could just technically hold us and any gear we might need for soccer, softball, etc., it had one feature that made it truly outstanding. Namely, we could go mud-bogging in it. It’s not your typical family activity, but the kids loved it. These days I haul the kids around in a Chrysler Town & Country, a mini-van best described as a “Dodge Caravan with a fancy analog clock in the dash.” I may not be able to take the Town & Country mudbogging, but on long road trips it’s been a game changer. The kids don’t need to squeeze into one bench, but can spread out among the captain chairs of the second row and the bench of the third. As they’ve aged and learned the time-tested game of “I’m not touching you I’m not touching you,” this ability to separate them has been crucial. Plus, it has the flip-down TV with DVD player, something we all agree as parents we’re never going to use as a babysitter, right until hour three of a 10-hour car ride. Ultimately, your choice between SUV and mini-van comes down to one thing. Do you want to still feel like you have a say in what your drive? And is that sense of self-determination worth the sacrifice of space and convenience? For me, it’s a no-brainer. At least until the kids aren’t a factor, then it’s back to mud-bogging. PIQ
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN OUR VILLAGE FOR M
GE FOR MAKING THIS FIRST YEAR SO INCREDIBLE.
They grow up so fast.
– FOOD –
PREPPING FOR SUCCESS By Deirdre Johns
L
et’s face it: feeding the kids is not always a piece of cake. Their limited desire for anything nutritious—unless it’s disguised—makes meal planning a challenge. And if your kids are like my son, Henry, his menu wish-list consists of chicken nuggets and corn dogs! Busy schedules and limited time often interfere with the ability to plan and make more nutritious meals. The convenience of kid-favorite meals—often from the freezer section—can be tempting. Pop them in the microwave and voila!
36 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
I have to admit that I often fall victim to quick-and-easy meals. My family has specific dietary concerns with my husband eating vegetarian meals and my son being allergic to nuts. For me, planning meals to accommodate everyone is extra time-consuming, so I have to plan ahead in order to avoid quick, and often less-nutritious, meal choices. While we sometimes have to grab something to eat in a pinch, we also want our kids to develop healthy eating habits. Here are some family-friendly meal ideas that will let you exercise a little more culinary creativity in the kitchen. MEAL KITS FOR THE FAMILY. There are plenty of meal kit options, but not all kits are created equal. Take time to search for one that meets your family’s needs. Kits from HelloFresh have a “family-friendly” option while other kits may cater to a more refined palate. HelloFresh offers a variety of cuisine options, ranging from American to Korean to Greek, and meals include pasta, pork, chicken, fish, and more. Creating a menu for even picky eaters can be accomplished. Other kits, like Dinnerly, offer a family box option and are noted as “budget-friendly.” One of their “kid-friendly” recipes is for Green Enchiladas with Pinto Beans & Cheese. It’s a “one-pot” recipe with simple items, so kids can even help to make the meal. With options like these, you don’t have to sacrifice taste or time.
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– FOOD –
“go-to” meals, like chicken nuggets. The benefit? Their meal options detail a “focus ingredient.” For example, their macaroni and cheese recipe is made with cauliflower; the recipe details the benefits of cauliflower so you can be assured that “ready-made” still equals “nutritious.” These meals come fully-cooked, so you can pop them into the microwave for quick convenience, making classic freezer brands the runner up. WEELICIOUS. This website was created with kids in mind and has a wonderful variety: vegetarian meals, easy-freeze meals, holiday snacks, foods to improve sleep, and meals for kids with food sensitivities. Users can search by ingredient, occasion, and prep time! There are plenty of cooking videos, so everyone can be involved in meal prep. The founder, Catherine McCord, says, “I want them to know that green food can be scrumptious and getting them involved in the preparation is one of 38 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
the best ways to do that.” The idea of “hiding” the “good” stuff makes sense and many parents resort to this tactic. What I love about McCord’s approach is teaching kids that “green” doesn’t have to mean “yuck!” This website is an all-inone winner. MEALS THAT ARE A WIN-WIN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. Sometimes, I crave a meal that I know neither my husband or son will eat. I usually end up making two different meals for them, which means that I end up snacking on something rather than making a “real” dinner for myself. Hilton Head Island health coach Lara Jaffe Hart has a solution for this: make the staple and change up one smaller part of the meal. For example, if you are serving tacos, you can serve them on tortillas for the kids but substitute the chips with pepper halves or lettuce for the adults. Lasagna can be cooked in halves: one side spaghetti squash and one side
regular noodles. These strategies will accommodate various eaters while saving time and energy with less prep. eMEALS. This service is a perfect recipe if you need the convenience of meal planning but want some flexibility. With a subscription, you are able to search through a variety of meal plans, which include family-inspired plans, weight management plans, and other specialty plans like Paleo or Keto. Once you select your meal plans for the week, your personalized shopping list is generated. You can shop for your items yourself (if you happen to have a kids-free moment!) or have your order prepared
(integrated pickup through Amazon, Walmart, Kroger, Instacart or Shipt). You can also have your order delivered. With the number of options available, you can manage how much—or how little—time you have week to week and still prepare nutritious meals for the family. Gone are the days of “you get what I make or you don’t get anything at all!” Catering to various dietary needs, whether it be picky eaters or food allergies, does not have to be as timeconsuming or frustrating as it sounds. There are many clever ways to create delicious and nutritious meals that everyone can say bon appetit to. PIQ
Deirdre Johns is Mom to Henry, an eight and a half-year-old lover of animals and nature. She has been teaching English for thirteen years, currently at Hilton Head Christian Academy, and has lived in the Lowcountry with her family since 2012.
Bluffton’s Favorite Baby & Toddler Boutique
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SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 39
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– EDUCATION –
TEACHER OF THE YEAR IT’S NOT EASY TO MAKE MATH FUN, BUT MICHELLE GORDON MAKES IT LOOK AS EASY AS PI by Barry Kaufman
D
o you know which side of the chicken has the most feathers? If you do, you’re either really good at riddles, or you’re one of the lucky students in Michelle Gordon’s math class at Bluffton High School. The chicken riddle recently was her “joke of the day,” one of many ways she likes to lighten the mood when teaching a subject that many students dread. “I want them to enjoy the learning experience, and I want my personality to shine in the classroom,” she said. “We’re all here for a purpose, and that’s to learn.” Her sense of humor is a big part of her personality. Even when accepting the Beaufort County School District Teacher of the Year Award, her first order of business
on stage was to tell a joke: “What do you call a deer with no eyes?” Answer: “I have no eye-deer.” But the prize that came with the honor was no joke: During a celebration honoring teachers of the year from all of the district’s schools, Shane Gault, executive manager of Hilton Head BuickGMC-Cadillac, presented Gordon with a $5,000 prize. Gordon’s quick wit and playful banter aren’t just ways to keep students’ attention. Each quip or wisecrack, whether it’s a knee-slapper or a groaner, helps create an atmosphere of comfort for students who might otherwise never fully engage with the subject matter. SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 41
– EDUCATION –
I’ve had students who were extremely shy, but they feel comfortable in my class. —Michelle Gordon
“I’ve had students who are extremely shy, but they feel comfortable in my class,” Gordon said. “One student said that about herself. She’s an introvert, so she doesn’t like to speak out. But when she enters my room, it feels like family.” Helping students come out of their shells speaks to one of the key events in Gordon’s path to teaching. Originally eyeing a job in computer engineering — or, well, eyeing the large paychecks the field offers — she found she had a greater talent for helping others. “I had a family member who struggled in school, and I tried really hard to help them. It seemed the gap was too wide between where his learning needed to be and where it was, and it really bothered me that I couldn’t help him,” she said. “That’s when I decided I didn’t want anyone else to experience that.” She took that drive to the classroom, where she found that laughter was an 42 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
unlikely but effective teaching tool: “It’s very personal. Even with my students, I have that family member in mind all the time.” Gordon has more than 15 years of classroom experience, and Bluffton High principal Denise Donica said she is respected not only by her students, but also by her colleagues. “She’s amazing,” Donica said. “She’s so passionate about what she does, and everybody in our building loves her.” Gordon holds master’s degrees in education leadership and mathematics from the University of South Carolina and a bachelor’s degree in mathematics from South Carolina State University. As the Beaufort County School District’s Teacher of the Year, she is in the running for South Carolina Teacher of the Year, which will be announced in the spring. And for the record, a chicken has the most feathers on the outside. PIQ
– FINANCE –
GETTING YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW By Thomas Dowling
It is the beginning of the New Year and that means new things to do: Let that be getting your finances in order. It’s not as hard as you think. First, the main thing you need to do is ask yourself 3 questions:
HAD ANYTHING CHANGED IN MY LIFE LAST YEAR? You want to think about things such as, did you get married; did you have a child or did you change jobs? If so, this may require you to switch your investment strategies and possibly start saving for college, adjusting your spending, save more or less for retirement or get more insurance. 44 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
AM I CLOSER OR FURTHER AWAY FROM MY FINANCIAL GOALS? This answer will help you understand if you need to adjust your plan. If you are closer, great, you are doing it right; if you’re not, then find out why and see if you need to make a change.
AM I MORE ORGANIZED THAN I WAS LAST YEAR? an online system where you can keep I believe the three keys to success track of your finances and schedule a are D.O.D – Dedication, Organization and time each quarter or half year to review Desire. If you have those three things things. Part of the problem with getting you can achieve success in anything organized again is that it takes a lot you do. Everyone understands that to of time. I find people get frustrated be successful at something you must because it can take so much time and be dedicated and have the desire but then they say, I'll do it later; and later what they often forget is that being never comes. So, start now. When you organized is a key element to that answer these questions and are still success. Some of the things you can do unclear of what to do, I suggest finding a to get more organized is to consolidate planner you trust, because part of their your accounts so you can get a clear job is to get you organized. picture of how they are doing, find
Additionally, if you want to avoid some of the biggest mistakes people make then create that plan. Figure out what you want to accomplish financially for at least this year. Create the goal. There is an old proverb, “success begets success.” When you set your plan and accomplish it, the next accomplishment seems easier to achieve. If you went into your child’s school and asked the teachers what their yearly educational plan for the kids was and the response was ‘I don’t know we will figure it out as the year goes along,’ you would be horrified. I find what happens a lot of times with younger people is they
say, I have no idea what will happen to me in three years from now, how can I plan? I say how can you not plan?' Plans change that is why you review your plan at least yearly. Finance is not a one-anddone, it’s a long-term process that can and will change over time that is why you want to make sure you create a base plan and use it as a road map. Sometimes you must adjust your driving route because of a detour, that will happen with your financial plan but at some point, you get back on path to your destination. Do it yourself or find a planner to help but just do it! PIQ
Thomas M. Dowling CFA, CFP®, CIMA® is an Executive Managing Director with Aegis Planning. Thomas has been featured in various publications and has been a guest speaker at various financial organizations. Locally, he is a member of the Rotary and sits on the Board of Directors of the Hilton Head Baseball Association, Hilton Head Boys and Girls Club and the Town of Hilton Head Parks and Recreation Commission. He can be contacted at tdowling@aegiscap.com or 843.715.2239 SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 45
– SCHOOL PROFILE –
HOLY TRINITY CLASSICAL CHRISTIAN SCHOOL THE LIGHT UNDIMMED
By Sarah Lawrence | Photo courtesy of Holy Trinity Classical Christian School
PE Leadership Team, pictured left to right, Sydney Lawrence, Caroline O'Neal, Morgan Chumney, and Sarah Lawrence.
A
s this senior year progresses, college application deadlines loom, and discussions of senior privileges, projects, theses, and trip carry on, I am ever reminded that the end approaches.
While the sun begins to set over the expansive sea of my time here at Holy Trinity, it brings to mind the dawn, and it makes me wonder, what parts of me have been lost in the waves? As I stare into the somewhat murky waters of the past seven years, a vivid memory that has emerged is one from the beginning of fifth grade, my first year at Holy Trinity. I remember lining up after recess, simply incredulous at how excited I was to go to class. You see, the chance to learn Latin, study the Romans, and have a math class of six people I genuinely liked was so different from any of my previous school experiences. I figured it couldn’t possibly be real. And at the heart of this memory, dimmed by the dust of time, is joy. This joy wasn’t the result of some lofty 46 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
intellectualism on my part or even the fact that I got two recesses. It was simply caused by my rediscovered wonder and unleashed hunger to learn. This year I have the interesting experience of being one of four seniors in the P.E. leadership program. One aspect of this is helping lead P.E. for the first graders. I have been struck every week by the effervescence of these young children and their enthusiasm and willingness to take on a challenge or try something new. Yes, it must be directed, but it is an amazing gift when it is nurtured, not suppressed. Although the grammar school students could not articulate that the capacity for language is God’s image in man or that the myths they learn now will help them to understand the narrative communication
of the subconscious, there is some aspect of their nature that makes them recognize the value of a good story and the fun of learning Latin. Yet we are about halfway through the first trimester, and I too often find myself with the mindset of “dealing with the day-to-day drudgery.” What happened to that natural joy? Well, time goes on, Fortune spins us on her whirling wheel, and we trade in that effusive luminosity for experience and prudence. Is there no way, then, to have both? If we trade in slavery to time for service to the Lord of time, we might just find that He grants us both. After all, He who taught thousands said, “Let the little children come to me…The kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” Just as we must keep His death set before our eyes, we must remember, too, His resurrection. Reborn in Him, we gain a youthful joy greater even than the enthusiasm of children because it is tempered with a deep understanding. And so, as my time here grows ever shorter, I am resolved to make it my goal to reclaim the transformative joy of learning, and hopefully, encourage others to do so. Like our mascot, may we be ravenous. May the Holy Trinity lions roar with an insatiable desire for wisdom. May we roar with the exultant joy of life. And may we roar to the highest hilltops, “Soli Deo Gloria!” PIQ
Sarah Lawrence is a current senior at Holy Trinity Classical Christian School, and in her eight years there she has found a passion for classical education. She is thus considering attending either St. John’s College in Annapolis or Grove City College in Pennsylvania, where she would major in English and Psychology. Sarah also enjoys playing the violin, singing in choir, and reading Hawthorne, Hemingway, Austen, and Fitzgerald.
A ClAssiCAl
EduCAtion for the ModErn World
Truth, Goodness, & Beauty Holy Trinity Classical Christian School enters into a partnership with parents as we educate students, grades Preschool12th with a Biblical worldview. Holy Trinity is committed to the pursuit of truth, wisdom, scholastic excellence, and the love of learning. With the Holy Scriptures as the foundation for all they learn, Holy Trinity students will be ambassadors of the Kingdom of God, prepared to defend and advance the apostolic Christian faith.
Call to schedule a tour today!
302 Burroughs AvEnuE, BEAufort 843-522-0660 i WWW.htCCs.org
SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 47
SPRING - CALENDAR OF EVENTS -
FEB. 9 SUPERHEROES, ACTION AND ADVENTURE: Enjoy cinematic scores from some of the biggest films of all time, like Captain America, Batman, Ironman, Thor and Superman. Tickets are $30-$60. 5 p.m., 540 William Hilton Parkway, Hilton Head Island. 843-842-2055 or hhso.org. FEB. 14-16 SOUTHEASTERN WILDLIFE EXHIBITION: A three-day showcase of everything we love about wildlife and nature. Featuring fine art exhibits, conservation education, sporting demonstrations, parties and more. Single day admission is $25, full weekend pass is $50, free for children 10 and under. 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Marion Square, 329 Meeting Street, Charleston. sewe.com.
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FEB. 15 CHARLESTON MOM PROM: Enjoy a Great Gatsby-themed moms-night-out, featuring dancing, photo booths, desserts and more. Includes tacky and classy bestdressed competitions. Cost is $64 per person, $1,000 for VIP table for 10. 7-11 p.m., Hyatt Place, 560 King Street, Charleston. event. gives/momprom. FOR THE LOVE OF PAWS FUNDRAISER: Bring the whole family to this fun Valentine-themed fundraiser to support the Hilton Head Humane Association, featuring live entertainment by DJ Alan Palchak, a silent auction, cake walk and bake sale, dog adoptions and free photos. 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Shelter Cove Community Park, 39 Shelter Cove Lane, Hilton Head Island. 843681-8686 or hhhumane.org.
SPRING - CALENDAR OF EVENTS -
ISLE OF PALMS POLAR PLUNGE: Take the plunge to support the Special Olympics. Plunge party will follow, featuring food, music, games and door prizes. The plunge is free. Raise a minimum of $50 and receive a free t-shirt, door prize tickets and food vouchers. 10:30 a.m., The Windjammer, 1008 Ocean Boulevard, Isle of Palms. 843-884-4176 or “Like” the event on Facebook. SAVANNAH BOOK FESTIVAL: Celebrate books and the written word at this weekendlong festival, featuring national author appearances. Free. 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Telfair Square, 121 Barnard Street, Savannah. 912598-4040 or savannahbookfestival.org. FEB. 15-16 SAVANNAH IRISH FESTIVAL: A festive celebration of Irish heritage, featuring live musical acts, Irish dancers, activities and more. Ticket prices vary. 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturday; Noon-5 p.m., Sunday. Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Avenue, Savannah. savannahcivic.com. FEB. 17 THE AMAZING KRESKIN: A performance by The Amazing Kreskin, who has astonished viewers worldwide with his unearthly ability to translate thoughts, predict the future and see the unseen. Suitable for all ages. Cost is $52. 8 p.m., Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, 14 Shelter Cove Lane, Hilton Head Island. 843842-2787 or artshhi.com. FEB. 19-23 HILTON HEAD PREP THEATRE: “BEAUTY AND THE BEAST”: Join the Hilton Head Prep Theatre for a production of Beauty and the Beast, the Broadway Musical. Prices vary. 7 p.m., Wednesday-Saturday; 2 p.m., matinee Saturday. Main Street Youth 50 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
Theatre, 3000 Main Street, Hilton Head Island. msyt.org. FEB. 21 GOOD CATCH OYSTERFEST: Explore the Aquarium while enjoying food, drinks, entertainment and animal encounters. Cost is $45 for members, $50 for guests, $75 for VIP tickets. 6:30 p.m., South Carolina Aquarium, 100 Aquarium Wharf, Charleston. 843-7201990 or scaquarium.org. FEB. 22 CHARLESTON MUSEUM OYSTER ROAST: Enjoy oysters and barbecue while listening to live music. Bring your own beer, chairs and blankets. Cost is $45 for members, $55 for guests. Noon-3 p.m., The Charleston Museum, 360 Meeting Street, Charleston. 843722-2996 or charlestonmuseum.org. LOWCOUNTRY FAMILY EXPO: A fun day of interactive activities, exciting exhibits, activity centers and contests. Cost is $13 for adults, free for kids 12 and under. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Charleston Convention Center, 5000 Coliseum Drive, North Charleston. Tickets, postandcourier.com. FEB. 23 LOWCOUNTRY IRISH FESTIVAL: A musical and cultural gathering celebrating all things Irish in South Carolina. Featuring live music and performances by the Legacy Irish Dance Academy. Cost is $25 for adults, $15 for students, $12 for children under 12. 2-6 p.m., Charleston Music Hall, 37 John Street, Charleston. lowcountryirishfest.com. FEB. 24-MARCH 1 HILTON HEAD ISLAND SEAFOOD FESTIVAL: The 13th Annual week-long event includes culinary and cultural
celebrations showcasing the very best in savory eats, crafted cocktails, gourmet wines and more. Enjoy dishes prepared by celebrity guest chefs, barbecue from some of the best of Southern pitmasters, hands-on cooking demos, eclectic tastings, live music and more. Event times, ticket prices and locations vary. hiltonheadseafoodfestival.com. FEB. 28 SKATE PARK AFTER DARK: Light up the skate park and show off your tricks for this firsttime event. Featuring skating demonstrations, food trucks, a DJ and more. Free. 6-8:30 p.m., Mount Pleasant Recreation Department, 391 Egypt Road, Mount Pleasant. 843-884-2528 or mtpleasantrec.com.
RACE FOR PRESERVATION: Historic Savannah Foundation’s annual race to spread awareness on the importance of preservation by showcasing its impacts along the race route of five historic neighborhoods. Familyfriendly. Cost is $25 for advanced registration, $45 on race day. 8 a.m., Forsyth Park, Bull and Gaston Streets, Savannah. 912-233-7787 or myhsf.org. SATURDAY SEAFOOD FESTIVAL: The Seafood Festival headlining event features tasty cuisine, celebrity chef cooking demonstrations, a five-story Ferris wheel, expanded kids activities, a silent auction, beer garden, artisan market, live music and more. Tickets are $10. 12-4 p.m., Honey Horn Plantation, Hilton Head Island. hiltonheadseafoodfestival.com. SWEET 3 RACE SERIES: A real life Candy Land is coming to Jacksonville during this Thin Mint Sprint 5K. Includes Girl Scout cookie samples, cookie booths, music, food and more. Family-friendly, no strollers. Registration required. Cost is $35. 6:30 a.m., 4624 Town Crossing Drive, Jacksonville. thinmintsprint.itsyourrace.com.
FEB. 29 LOWCOUNTRY HEART WALK: Walk to raise awareness of heart disease and stroke. Your participation supports scientific research that can save lives. Free. 8 a.m., Brittlebank Park, Lockwood Boulevard, Charleston. 843480-4900 or heart.org/Lowcountry. MONSTER JAM: Watch 12,000-pound trucks and the world-class athletes who drive them tear up the dirt with gravity-defying feats at this family-friendly event. Tickets are $15$75.50. 7 p.m., TIAA Bank Field, 1 TIAA Bank Field Drive, Jacksonville. monsterjam.com.
MARCH 1 CAMP CONGRESS FOR GIRLS: A leadership program that introduces girls ages 8-17 to politics, including how to run a campaign, a mock election, pass legislation and more. Cost is $140. 8 a.m.-3 p.m., Fairfield Inn, 4888 Lenoir Avenue, Jacksonville. girlsinpolitics.com. MARCH 3-4 CELTIC THUNDER’S EMMET CAHILL: Talented tenor Emmet Cahill will perform traditional Irish tunes, Broadway classics and much more. Suitable for all ages. Cost is $65. 8 p.m., Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, 14 Shelter Cove Lane, Hilton Head Island. 843842-2787 or artshhi.com.
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SPRING - CALENDAR OF EVENTS -
MARCH 7 THE HIPPIE DASH: A 5K fun run and walk that raises awareness for people with disabilities. Registration is $40. 9 a.m.-Noon, James Island County Park, 871 Riverland Drive, Charleston. 843-566-0072 or palmettogoodwill.org. MARCH 8 FRIENDS’ ANNUAL OYSTER ROAST FUNDRAISER: Enjoy live music and fresh oysters with a beautiful waterfront view. All proceeds benefit the Friends of the Lowcountry Senior Center. Cost is $30 for adults, $10 for children ages 6-12, free for children 5 and under. 2-5 p.m., Bowens Island, 1870 Bowens Island Road, Charleston. 843-990-5555 or lowcountryseniorcenter.com. MARCH 14 KITE AND FLOWER FESTIVAL: A festival featuring performances, face painting, flowerrelated crafts and vendors, plus a pasture safe 52 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
for flying kites. Free. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Celestial Farms, 13958 Duval Road, Jacksonville. 904647-5265 or celestialfarms.org. MOUNT PLEASANT ARTFEST: This annual festival brings families and cultural enthusiasts together for a day of local music, dance and visual arts. Free. 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Mount Pleasant Recreation Department, 391 Egypt Road, Mount Pleasant. 843-884-2528 or mtpleasantrec.com. READ TO A DOG: Share a story with a therapy dog to build reading confidence. Bring a favorite book from home or use a library book. Registration required. Ages 5-12. Free. 11 a.m.-Noon. Hilton Head Library, 11 Beach City Road, Hilton Head Island. 843-2556500 or beaufortcountylibrary.org. SOUTH BEACH SHAMROCK HUNT: Children under 12 are invited to search for lucky shamrocks on the beach, redeemable
for tasty treats and Salty Dog gear. Free. 9 a.m., The Salty Dog, 232 South Sea Pines Drive, Hilton Head Island. 843-671-2233 or saltydog.com. THROUGH MARCH 15 CHARLESTON CHINESE LANTERN FESTIVAL: Magnolia Plantation and Gardens has partnered with the world famous Zigong Lantern Group from Zigong, China to perform a massive garden installation of LED light exhibits for the Chinese Lantern Festival. Tickets are $26 for adults, $11 for children ages 6-12, free for children under 5. 5:30-9:30 p.m., Magnolia Plantation and Gardens, 3550 Ashley River Road, Charleston. 843-571-1266 or magnoliaplantation.com. LIGHTS OF MAGNOLIA: Wednesday through Sunday nights, lights will illuminate nine acres of the grounds of Magnolia Plantation and Gardens. Tickets are $26 for adults, $11 for children ages 6-12, free for children under 5. 5:30-9:30 p.m., Magnolia Plantation and Gardens, 3550 Ashley River Road, Charleston. 843-571-1266 or magnoliaplantation.com. MARCH 15 HILTON HEAD ISLAND SAINT PATRICK’S DAY PARADE: The oldest Saint Patrick’s Day parade in South Carolina. Featuring a parade of floats, boats, trucks, cars, bikes, golf carts, people, horses and dogs. Free. 3 p.m., Pope Avenue, Hilton Head Island. hiltonheadireland.org. MARCH 20-22 COLLECTIVE CON: A three-day pop culture convention featuring comics, anime, cosplay, sci-fi and gaming events. Cost is $30 for weekend pass, $120 for VIP weekend pass, free for children under 10. Noon-6 p.m., Friday; 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturday; 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday. Jacksonville Expo Center, 510 Fairground Place, Jacksonville. collectivecon.com. MARCH 21 HILTON HEAD WINGFEST: A familyfriendly festival featuring over 20 local
restaurants competing for the People’s and Judge’s top three choices. Includes a kid’s zone, live entertainment, a kid’s Wing Bobbing Contest and more. Admission is $8 for adults, free for children 10 and under. 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Shelter Cove Community Park, 39 Shelter Cove Lane, Hilton Head Island. hiltonheadwingfest.com. MARCH 22 SAVANNAH VEG FEST: A festival that showcases local plant-based foods. Featuring expert speakers, cooking demos, vendors and animal rescues. Free. 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Forsyth Park Band Shell, 699 Drayton Street, Savannah. savannahvegfest.org. SKIDAWAY SPRING FESTIVAL: Come out for an afternoon at the park and enjoy local vendors and food trucks. Free. 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Causeway, Savannah. 912-598-2300 or gastateparks.org. MARCH 26-APRIL 11 SAVANNAH MUSIC FESTIVAL: Now in its 31st season, this festival features worldclass celebrations of the musical arts by creating timeless productions that stimulate arts education, foster economic growth and unite artists and audiences. Ticket prices, times and locations vary. 912-234-3378 or savannahmusicfestival.org. MARCH 27 MASTERCHEF JUNIOR LIVE: A familyfriendly show featuring head-to-head cooking demonstrations and fun challenges with past MasterChef Junior contestants. Tickets are $30-$120. 7-10 p.m., The Florida Theatre, 128 East Forsyth Street, Jacksonville. 904-3555661 or floridatheatre.com. MARCH 28 LOWCOUNTRY FAIR WITH HISTORICAL FLAIR: Commemorating the diverse heritage of the Lowcountry, the fair will feature artisans, food vendors, music, equestrian events, living history presentations, weapon demonstrations, educational booths and more. Free. 11 a.m.-5 SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 53
SPRING - CALENDAR OF EVENTS -
p.m., Coastal Discovery Museum, 70 Honey Horn Drive, Hilton Head Island. 843-379-1550 or santa-elena.org.
general admission, $125 for VIP, $20 for kids VIP. 1 p.m., Longfield Stables, 477 Mount Pelia Road, Bluffton. 321-408-0437.
RELEASE AND REMEMBER: A community butterfly release to celebrate the memory of lost loved ones. Cost is $10 per butterfly. 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Henry C. Chambers Waterfront Park, Beaufort. 843-525-6257 or fochospice.org.
MARCH 31 NATIONAL CRAYON DAY: Celebrate National Crayon Day by coloring a picture in the children’s area. All ages welcome. Free. 3:30-5 p.m., Hilton Head Library, 11 Beach City Road, Hilton Head Island. 843-255-6500 or beaufortcountylibrary.org.
SANDALWOOD RUN FOR HUNGER: A 5K and 10K race to support the Sandalwood Community Food Pantry, a nonprofit that helps feed over 700 local families. Registration for the 5K is $25 for adults, $20 for runners under 18; the 10K is $35 for adults, $25 for runners under 18. 8:30-11 a.m., Mitchelville Freedom Park, 229 Beach City Road, Hilton Head Island. runsignup.com. MARCH 29 MASTERCHEF JUNIOR LIVE: A familyfriendly show featuring head-to-head cooking demonstrations and fun challenges with past MasterChef Junior contestants. Tickets are $25$140. 7 p.m., Gaillard Center, 95 Calhoun Street, Charleston. 843-724-5212 or gaillardcenter.org. POLO AT THE BLUFF: A thrilling afternoon polo match, featuring VIP tents with hors d’oeuvres and beverages. Cost is $40 for 54 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
APRIL 4 COOPER RIVER BRIDGE RUN: Walk or run during this 10K race that begins in Mount Pleasant and ends in downtown Charleston. Cost is $55. 7 a.m.-Noon, Coleman Boulevard, Mount Pleasant. bridgerun.com. DISNEY ON ICE: “MICKEY’S SEARCH PARTY”: Join Mickey and his crew for an adventure featuring skating, high-flying, acrobatics and unexpected stunts. Tickets are $15-$75. 7 p.m., VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A Philip Randolph Boulevard, Jacksonville. disneyonice.com. TASTE OF BLUFFTON KICKOFF: A foodie event to kick off the 2020 Taste of Bluffton, featuring a whole hog roast and fun for the entire family. Free entry. 10 a.m., Taste
of Bluffton, Calhoun Street, Bluffton. 843- 7571010 or tasteofbluffton.com. APRIL 5 LOWCOUNTRY CAJUN FESTIVAL: Bringing Louisiana to the Lowcountry, this fun festival features Zydeco music, Cajun and Creole foods, kids activities and more. Cost is $15 for adults, free for children 12 and under. Noon-6 p.m., James Island County Park, 871 Riverland Drive, Charleston. “Like” the event on Facebook. APRIL 7-13 TASTE OF BLUFFTON: A Southern celebration of food with events celebrating the Bluffton culinary scene. Ticket prices, times and locations vary. tasteofbluffton.com. APRIL 8-12 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: “OVO”: A headlong rush into a colorful ecosystem-themed performance, featuring 52 performing artists specializing in acrobatic acts. Tickets range $23-$155. Times vary. Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Avenue, Savannah. 912651-6550 or savannahcivic.com. APRIL 11 EASTER EGGSTRAVAGANZA: A community event featuring an Easter egg hunt, bounce houses, concessions and other entertainment. Free. 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Shelter Cove Community Park, 39 Shelter Cove Lane, Hilton Head Island. 843-681-7273 or islandreccenter.org. READ TO A DOG: Share a story with a therapy dog to build reading confidence. Bring a favorite book from home or use a library book. Registration required. Ages 5-12. Free. 11 a.m.-Noon. Hilton Head Library, 11 Beach City Road, Hilton Head Island. 843-2556500 or beaufortcountylibrary.org. APRIL 18 ANNUAL EARTH DAY CELEBRATION: Celebrate 50 years of Earth Day at this 20th annual event, featuring workshops, storytelling, a fashion show, food and
entertainment. Free. Noon-5 p.m., Daffin Park, 1198 Washington Avenue, Savannah. 912-6625162 or earthlysavannah.org. APRIL 13-19 RBC HERITAGE: The 52nd annual RBC Heritage presented by Boeing will continue the longstanding tradition of being one of golf’s most notable tournaments. Ticket prices and times vary. Harbour Town Golf Links, 11 Lighthouse Road, Hilton Head Island. rbcheritage.com. APRIL 25 WORLD PENGUIN DAY: Celebrate everyone’s favorite black and white bird with stories, activities and crafts. Free. 11 a.m.Noon. Hilton Head Library, 11 Beach City Road, Hilton Head Island. 843-255-6500 or beaufortcountylibrary.org. APRIL 26 BLESSING OF THE FLEET AND SEAFOOD FESTIVAL: Pay tribute to Mount Pleasant’s local shrimping and fishing industry during this boat parade festival. Includes live music, a craft show, kids activities and more. Free. 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Memorial Waterfront Park, 99 Harry M. Hallman Junior Boulevard, Mount Pleasant. “Like” the event on Facebook. SAVE THE DATE MAY 8 BABY SHARK LIVE: Take an adventure into the sea with Baby Shark and his friend Pinkfong as they sing and dance through some of your favorite songs. Tickets are $25$59. 6 p.m., Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Avenue, Savannah. 912-651-6550 or savannahcivic.com.
TO SEE OUR FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS HEAD OVER TO PARENTHOODIQ.COM
SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 55
Outside Challenge 2020
HI! I'M GINNY. My husband Josh and I are parents to five children ages 10 and under and we reside in Southeast Michigan. Throughout our journey of parenthood we have consistently seen city, county, and state parks, as well as trails, campsites, and naturescapes in general nearly devoid of children most of the time. About five years ago we started to ask ourselves a simple question, Why? With so much natural beauty all around us (even though we take it for granted at times) it seemed counterintuitive that so many outdoor spaces were just empty. So again, we said "why?" 56 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
1000 HOURS
We did some research and read that striving for a goal of four to six hours of outside time within a day was an ideal amount of time for children to spend, well, outside. This seemed excessive to us and quite frankly, way too long - most children's activities are at most an hour (like a library program) and, many times, much less. But, we tried it. And you know what? We have not looked back. Our greatest times as a family, and my most successful times mothering almost exclusively point back to these fully immersive nature days. In time, we began to find that there is benefit upon benefit to this wonderful time outside. We track a lot of things these days steps, calories, budgets, frequent flyer miles etc - why not track something so beneficial to our children as well? There are so many things that compete for our time so it's easy for something like this to get put on the back-burnered. We found that if we spread these four- to six- hour chunks out over a few days (shooting for roughly 20 hours a week) it would take us to averaging about 1,000 hours of outside activity a year. That seems insane, maybe - we get it. But did you know the average American child spends 1,200 hours a year in front of screens? Now that seems insane to us, but hey, we get it - parenting is hard and sometimes those screens 'seem' like such a welcome reprieve from the chaos. We certainly are not militant about it and we don't take a 'no screens ever or you will surely die' approach either. But we would, quite vehemently, argue that nature- big, beautiful, bountiful nature - is the absolute and very best reprieve for you and your children. Honestly, they don't even compare! Research has confirmed time and time again that what children are naturally and unabashedly drawn to, unrestricted
outside play, contributes extensively to every area of childhood development. The importance here cannot be understated and yet we are losing much of childhood to screens, 1,200 hours a year on average.
We track a lot of things these days - steps, calories, budgets, frequent flyer miles etc why not track something so beneficial to our children as well? Childhood is finite at just shy of 9.5 million minutes. We only get one shot at it. One of the biggest decisions we make is how we will use our time. The options are endless, many carry with them a lot of pressure. With so many opportunities vying for our attention one easy way to make sure nature time doesn’t get lost in the shuffle is simply to keep track of it. We track all sorts of important things: calories, finances, steps, etc. It’s an easy way to visually see if we are providing this essential part of child development to our kids. 1,000 hours outside, though daunting, is doable over the course of a calendar year. The entire point of 1000 Hours Outside is to attempt to match nature time with screen time. If kids can consume media through screens 1,200 hours a year on average then the time is there and at least some of it can and should be shifted towards a more productive and healthy outcome. Here's to a 2020 childhood to remember!! Happy tracking but much more importantly, happy memories! PIQ
TO LEARN MORE, VISIT WWW.1000HOURSOUTSIDE.COM
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STELLAR KIDS We had the chance to sit down with some Stellar Kids here in the Lowcountry. These are children, tweens, and teens who truly stand out among their peers.
DAKOTA LEHRSCHALL 7th Grader at H.E. McCracken Middle School WHAT: Dakota Lehrschall is a young leader in LGBTQ advocacy. She was recently awarded Student of the Month for Courage. The award praises her self-confidence and fearless defense of others. Her goal is to create a safe space for all students to be recognized and validated. She does this by acknowledging and normalizing preferred names and pronouns of her fellow students. Dakota is especially known for her tactful interventions. She addresses bullying with a no-tolerance policy, consistently responding with empathy for both sides. Demonstrating maturity beyond her years, she describes the process as restorative! Dakota attributes her confidence and fierce defense of others to her parents, both U.S. Marines. 60 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
ADVICE: “You are not alone in this!” FUN FACTS: Dakota’s favorite subject in school is science. Not surprising since her long-term goal is to become an obstetric surgeon. “Yale is my top choice!” On the weekends, she likes to stay up late watching scary movies with a big bowl of buttery popcorn. Fearless is right!
OLIVIA PELUSO 12th Grader at May River High School WHY: Olivia has raised more than $3,000 for adaptable P.E. equipment for special education students at her school. When she realized her school needed $4,000 worth of equipment, she didn’t hesitate to get involved. While she started researching grants, Special Olympics South Carolina caught wind of her efforts and donated $1,000 to her cause. The nonprofit organization also started an online fundraiser to help Olivia meet her goal. You can donate here: www.classy.org/give/263999/#!/ donation/checkout ADVICE: "If you don't like the way something is or want to change it, don't sit around waiting for someone else to change it for you. Change it yourself. There is always something that can be done, whether big or small. Any effort helps. Find something that you are passionate about it, and get involved with it. ... I promise the end result will always be rewarding."
ACTIVITIES: Member of the National Honor Society and the National Beta Club, varsity basketball player and soccer player at MRHS FUN FACTS: I have a fraternal twin sister. I want to pursue a career in special education.
Think you have a stellar kid? Let us know by emailing editor@parenthoodiq.com SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 61
LET’S GET SOCIAL
HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY HAVE FUN IN THE LOWCOUNTRY? 62 ParenthoodIQ.com • SPRING 2020
GIGGLES
What funny things have your kids said lately? “C’mon Barbie! Get it to together.” - Isabella. 4
“Dad, why did your hair runaway.” - Zoe. 4
I got “the” call from my son's preschool, “there has been an incident” - My son bit one of his classmates. So when we got in the car I asked him why he did it… His defense? "He fell into my mouth!" - Charlie.4
My daughter had to have a crown placed on her tooth and she was a bit nervous, to ease her nerves I explained to her that I have a crown too and that I am a Queen and as my princess she needs one too. However, it can’t be a crown that we wear on our head because the Paparazzi will follow us everywhere so we hide it in our mouth. She bought it and I still catch her checking out her “crown” in the mirror. - Melanie (mom) Daddy to Daughter: “This body wasn’t meant for ballet”... Daughter to Daddy: “Don’t worry, I’ll show you my moves.” - Eleanor. 5
“Mom can I have your phone? I need to make a selfie…” - Landon. 6
#LOWCOUNTRYFAMILYFUN Be sure to use the hashtag, #lowcountryfamilyfun for a chance to be featured on ParenthoodIQ’s Instagram! SPRING 2020 • ParenthoodIQ.com 63