Zombie Survival Guide by hipidy

CAUTIO

ZOMBIE S

URVIVAL

GUIDE by MAX BROOKS

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocoping, recording, or by any informatoin storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Publised in the United States by Broadway Paperbacks, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. Originally published by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, in 2003. Broadway Paperbacks and its logo, a letter B bisected on the diagonal, are trademarks of Random House, Inc. Design by Debbie Glasserman

THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE by MAX BROOKS

TABLE OF CONTENTS “He comes from the grave, his body a home of worms and filth. No life in his eyes, no warmth of his skin, no beating of his breast. His soul, as empty and dark as the night sky. He laughs at the blade, spits at the arrow, for they will not arm his flesh. For eternity, he will walk the earth, smelling the sweet blood of the living, feasting upon the bones of the damned. Beware, for he is the living dead. —Obscure Hindu Text 1000 B.C.E

INTRODUCTION

WEAPONS AND COMBAT

ON THE DEFENSE

ON THE RUN

ON THE ATTACK

124

HOLLYWOOD ZOMBIE

182

CAUTIO

ZOMBIE VIRUS SYMPTOMS Hour 1: Pain and discoloration of the infected area

INTRODUCTION What is a zombie? How are they created?

Hour 5: Fever (99 – 103°), chills, slight dementia, vomiting, acute pain in joints

What are their strengths and weaknesses? What are their needs, their desires? Why are they hostile to humanity? Before desisting any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive.

We must begin by separating fact

from fiction. The walking dead are neither a work of “black magic” nor any other su-

Hour 8: Numbing of infected area, increased fever (103 – 106°), increased dementia, loss of muscular coordination Hour 11: Paralysis in the lower body, overall numbing, slowed heart rate

pernatural force. Their origin stems from a virus known as Solanum, a Latin word used

Hour 16: Coma

by Jan Vanderhaven, who first discovered the disease.

Solanum works by traveling through

the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain. Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the frontal lobe for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily

Hour 20: Heart stoppage, Zero brain activity Hour 23: Reincarnation

CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON 1. Obey the Law 2. Train Constantly 3. Care for your Tools 4. Beware Display Items 5. Develop the First Weapon

6 // 7

CLOSE COMBAT SLINGS & STRING FIRE ARMS

MISC.

Hand to hand combat should always be avoided. Given a zombieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lack of speed, it is much easier to run than stand and fight.

BLUDGEONS

What they lack is the weight and strength

When using a blunt weapon, th goal is to

for a lethal strike. A section of lead pipe will

crush the brain (remember, the only way to

work for a single encounter but is too heavy

kill a zombie is by destroying the brain). This

for those on the move. A sledgehammer has

is not as easy as it sounds. The human skull

the same drawback and requires practice for

is one of the hardest, most durable surfaces

its user to hit a moving target. Aluminum

in nature. So, of course, is the zombieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Ex-

bats are light enough to work for one, may-

treme force is needed to fracture, let alone

be two fights, but are known to bend after

shatter it. However, this must be done, and

prolonged use. The standard, one-handed

done with a single, well-placed blow. Miss-

carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hammer has striking power but

ing your target or failing to breach the bone

severely limited reach. Its short handle al-

will leave you with no second chance.

lows a zombie to grab your arm and pull it

Sticks, axe handles, and other wooden

in. The police baton, made of acetate plastic,

clubs are good for knocking a zombie out of

is strong enough for any battle but lacks the

the way or beating off an individual attack.

lethal power for a one-blow kill.

8 // 9

The best bludgeon is a steel crowbar.

Its relatively lightweight and durable construction makes it ideal for prolonged close combat. Its curved, semi-sharpened edge also allows for a stabbing motion through the eye socket, directly into the brain case. More than one survivor has reported killing zombies in this manner. Another benefit of the crowbar is that it may be necessary to pry open a door, shift a heavy object, or perform other tasks for which it was originally designed. None of these functions can be accomplished with any of the previously mentioned items.

EDGED WEAPONS Blades, in any form, have advantages and disadvantages over bludgeons. Those that have enough strength to split the skull rarely stand up after many repetitions. For this reason, slicing, particularly decapitation, serves almost the same function as a head blow.

NOTE: The severed head of a zombie is still able to bite and must be regarded as a threat. The advantage of slicing over bludgeoning is that it can make killing a zombie unnecessary. In some cases, simply chopping off a limb or severing the spine is enough to disable the undead. But in most cases, the zombie will continue chasing while sustaining the injury, so a blow to the head is ideal. The advantage of slicing over bludgeoning is that it can make killing a zombie unnecessary. In some cases, simply chopping off

SURVIVAL TIP #1

USE YOUR HEAD CUT OFF THEIRS

FIREARMS

nism allows a storm of lead to be discharged

Of all the weapons discussed in this book,

in seconds. These tactics may be invaluable

nothing is more important than your pri-

on the human battlefield but are a feckless

mary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it

waste against the living dead. Remember,

oiled, keep it loaded, keep it close. With a

you are going for a head shot: one bullet,

cool head, steady hand, and plenty of am-

precisely placed. As the machine gun is

munition, one human is more than a match

designed for saturation fire, it may take

for an army of zombies.

hundreds, even thousands of rounds for

Choosing a firearm must be an exact

one, randomly lethal shot. Even aiming the

science, with every variable considered.

machine gun as a rifle (a tactic used by U.S.

Different firearms serve different functions.

special forces) is a losing proposition. Why

Almost none serve all. Selecting the perfect

hit a zombie with a well-aimed fire-fround

tool means dispelling conventional doctrines

burst when one well-aimed rifle shot produc-

of warfare that have worked so well against

es the same result? In the 1970s, one school

our fellow humans. Sadly, we know all too

of thought favored the Scythe Theory: if a

well how to kill each other. Killing zombiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;

machine gun is placed at the head level of

thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another story.

an undead crowd, it could mow them down

THE HEAVY MACHINE GUN

with a single, long burst. This argument has

Since World War I, this invention has

been debunked ghouls, like the humans they

revolutionized human conflict. Its mecha-

used to be, are not all the same height. Even

9 // 10

CEREBRAL NEUTRALIZATION

The ONLY known method of terminating a zombie, either by cranial penetration or blunt force trauma

CENTER MASS For stopping or slowing down target ONLY when distance does not permit a headshot.

LOWER EXTREMITIES For stopping or slowing down target ONLY when distance does not permit a headshot.

RANGE VS ACCURACY Studies have shown that given the trauma of battle, the closer a human is to a zombie, the wilder his shooting will be. When practicing with your firearm(s). establish a maximum range for repeated accuracy. Practice against moving targets in ideal (steer-free) conditions. Once that range is fixed, divide it by half. This will be your effective kill zone during an actual attack. Make sure the undead do not move closer than this zone, as your accuracy will erode. If engaging a group, make sure to hit those that enter the zone first before dispatching the others.

Complete incineration is the BEST way to destroy a zombie once and for all. Burning eliminates not only the body but all traces of Solanum, the zombie virus.

BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR RESOURCES Explosives Fire Molotov Cocktails Dousing Blowtorch

Flamethrower Acid Poison Biological Warfare Electrocution

Radiation Genetic Warfare Nanotherapy Armor Plate Mail

Chain Mail Shark Suit Helmets Bulletproof Vests Kevlar Covers

14 // 15

“We opened up at seventy, maybe eighty meters. I could see chunks of flesh blasting off their bodies. Our rounds were hitting their mark! They kept coming. I sighted one and let go a full bust from my BXP. I know I snapped his spine, because the man dropped like a leaf. Legs still twitching, he kept crawling after me! Finally, at five meters, we used the last bit of fuel in the flamethrower! The sons of bitches lit up like torches but just wouldn’t stop! One of them grabbed [Name Withheld], setting him on fire as it bit through his neck. I saw the rest of those things surround him as we took off for the jungle. Goddamn the devil’s mother, what the hell were we supposed to do?!”

—Serbian Mercenary during the Zairian Civil War, 1994

Flesh–human, undead, or otherwise–takes

Fire itself has no loyalty. Consider the flam-

a long time to burn. In the minutes or hours

mable nature of your surroundings, the

before a blazing zombie succumbs, it will

Chance of smote inhalation, the possibility

become a walking–or to be perfectly accu-

that a blaze will act as a beacon for other

rate, a shambling–torch. Several cases have

zombies. All these factors must be consid-

been recorded in which burning ghouls

ered before such a powerful and unpredict-

have done more damage, even caused more

able weapon is unleashed. For this reason,

deaths, than they would have with only

fire is mainly considered an attack or flight

their fingernails and teeth.

weapon, and rarely used for static defense.

PROTECT YOUR FORTRESS 1. Preperation: The Home 2. Preperation: Supplies 3. Surviving an Attack 4. Immediate Defense

28 // 29

Strageties for single and double story houses:

Lock everything Run bathtub Find weapons Stockpile supplies Demolish Staircase

Stay out of sight Keep Quiet Do not use phones Plan another escape Get to high gound

GET UP T

SURVIVAL TIP #2

P THE STAIRCASE THEN DESTROY IT

THE HOLLYWOOD ZOMBIE Ask someone what they think of when

it for their zombie mythos. Zombies

they hear the word zombie, and they

did not spring straight from Romero’s

will probably describe a scene from

head, though. Where did these gory

Romero’s Night of the Living Dead,

creatures come from?

where a rotten corpse walks with

arms outstretched, looking for hu-

duced to mainstream western culture

man victims to gnosh on. Most mod-

in 1929 when W. B. Seabrook wrote

ern zombie movies are some variation

The Magic Island, detailing his obser-

on this theme. The ways in which the

vations of life in Haiti, including the

zombies are made are quite varied, but

practice of voodoo. Zombies are part

the living dead almost always have

of the voodoo religion, although only

some common traits: they’re rotten,

of a small subsect, referred to as the

they don’t talk much, and they have an

“cult of the dead.” The practitioners of

insatiable need to attack people, more

mainstream voodoo typically wanted

often than not with a snack in mind.

nothing to do with these necroman-

Most zombie movies that are post-

cers, according to Seabrook. Neverthe-

Night of the Living Dead borrow from

less, in the decades to come, in west

The idea of zombies was intro-

182 // 183

SHAMBLER STATISTICS SPEED Low INTELLEGENCE Low TRACKING TECHNIQUE Sound

EXAMPLES Night of the Living Dead Re-Animator Shaun of the Dead Zombieland Walking Dead

SHAMBLER

STATISTICS SPEED Slow INTELLEGENCE Low TRACKING TECHNIQUE None EXAMPLES White Zombies Revolt the Zombie King of the Zombies I Walked with a Zombie

VOODOO

CRAWLER While most zombies move in a noticeably slow and strained manner, Runners have little to no deterioration of motor functions. Runners are able to sprint as fast as the

184 // 185

culture the ideas of voodoo and zom-

“The unburied dead have been return-

bies became inextricably intertwined.

ing to life and seeking human victims.

The release of this book inspired a

It’s hard for us here to be reporting this

movie in the burgeoning film industry,

to you, but it does seem to be a fact...” —”Night of the Living Dead” 1968

White Zombie. In it, a young couple stopping off in Haiti to get married fall victim to “Murder” Legendre, a voodoo practitioner played by Bela Lugo-

zombies took their place on the silver

si. The zombies in this film are fairly

screen. A few more zombie films came

close to Seabrook’s portrayal: they are

out in the 1930s. The makers of White

mindless slaves being used as cheap

Zombie came out with an atrocious

labor. They need to be taken from the

sequel, Revolt of the Zombies, where

grave almost immediately after being

those who became zombies didn’t

buried; if they have started to rot, they

even appear to die, they were just

are no good. Seabrook’s zombies won’t

hypnotized slaves.

attack you, either. Without a master,

these zombies remain motionless.

between voodoo and science through

Although not as popular as the

the next decade or so, as various evil-

more dashing Dracula or the more

doers used their undead slaves toward

physically impressive Frankenstein,

terrible goals. In 1968, George Romero

Zombie movies continued to flit

STATISTICS SPEED Fast INTELLEGENCE Medium TRACKING TECHNIQUE Sight Smell EXAMPLES 28 Days Later Resident Evil I Am Legend World War Z

RUNNERS

186 // 187

took zombie films to the next logical

video game), with its amnesiac zom-

step. What if the zombies didn’t have

bie-killer, Alice.

a master? What if they just got up and

started attacking people on their own?

hold no blame here. It’s just us — our

And if science could make zombies on

own ignorance, our own greed, our own

purpose, why couldn’t something hap-

fear, our own illogical anger. And it’s

pen to make them accidentally?

been us all along. We’re the ones who

But gruesomely comic or grimly

poison our world, our societies. And

serious, living or undead, it’s really all

we’re the ones who turn on each oth-

George Romero’s world now. We just

er when we do, until we finally retreat

stagger through it, as yet another mys-

behind our little fortresses, guns in our

terious virus is released, yet another

sweaty hands, waiting, waiting...

For ancient rites and magic charms

hungry horde brings on the apocalypse.

By now, the monsters, and their

media, are even feeding on each other. There is the hit “The Walking Dead” TV series (based on a comic book) in which “biters” are gobbling up civilization. There is the apparently endless “Resident Evil” franchise (based on a

We have met the enemy...

And we’re their lunch.