My father's apprentice by Hisa Ide

TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION Why it matters

STATIS AND INFO

General Information

3 7

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

THEIR FATHER’S DAUGHTER

Information about various fathers and daughters

Famous fathers influence their daughter’s career

A DAY IN THE LIFE

My father and me

INTRODUCTION

THE REASON WHY IT MATTERS. A TOOL TO BRIDGE THAT GAP AND BUILD A REWARDING RELATIONSHIP

As the primary male role model in a girl’s life, fathers influence their daughters in profound ways, from how they see themselves to what they come to expect from men and the world at large. But men often don’t realize the importance of their interactions or may shy away from too close involvement because of their inexperience, or conditioning. Especially as girls move into

adolescence, fathers may find themselves feeling distant from their daughters or awkward with the changing dynamic. Communication becomes difficult and parenting issues more complicated. But this is also the time when daughters most need their fathers to be an even greater presence in their lives. Dads and Daughters is a tool to bridge that gap and build a rewarding and joyful father-daughter relationship. From

father to father and with insights from many other dads, Joe Kelly shows men how they can strengthen their relationships with their daughters and explores the tremendous rewards this relationship can bring. Starting with a self-assessment quiz titled “How Am I Doing as My Daughter’s Father?” dads can immediately see what kind of role they play in their daughter’s life. To educate fathers and offer solutions when

â&#x20AC;&#x153;F A T H E R S H A V E I N F L HOW TH E Y S E E T H

problems arise, Dads and Daughters then offers thoughtful coverage of the most pivotal issues todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s girls face, such as sex and dating, body image, alcohol and drugs, media culture and violence, money and responsibility, and the future. In doing so he both illuminates the culture our daughters live in and shows fathers how to guide their daughters toward rewarding, healthy lives. Girls with close, supportive

relationships with their parents tend to develop later, while girls with cold or distant relationships with their parents develop at an earlier age. The research is published in the most recent edition of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The research was conducted by Bruce Ellis, a postdoctoral fellow at Vanderbilt (now at the University of Canterbury in New Zealand); Stephen McFadyenKetchum, adjunct

U E N C E O N T H E I R D A U G T E R S I N A P R F O U N D WAY F R O M E M S E LV E S T O W H AT T H E Y C O M E T O E X P E C T F R O M M E Nâ&#x20AC;?

assistant professor of psychology at Vanderbilt; Kenneth Dodge, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Vanderbilt; Gregory Pettit of Auburn University; and John E. Bates of Indiana University. The study looked at 173 girls and their families from Nashville and Knoxville, Tenn. and Bloomington, Ind. from the time the girls were in pre-kindergarten until they were in the seventh grade. Girls who had close, positive

relationships with their parents during the first five years of life tended to experience relatively late puberty, compared to girls who had more distant relationships with their parents. More specifically, the researchers found that the quality of fathersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; involvement with daughters was the most important feature of the early family environment in relation to the timing of the daughtersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; puberty.

STATS & INFO

PERCENT

OF WOMEN BORN IN THE LAST DECADE

FOLLOWED THEIR

FATHERS FOOTSTEPS COMPARED TO 6 PERCENT OF WOMEN BORN IN THE PREVIOUS DECADE.

TWENTY

PERCENT OF THE DIFFERENCE IS ATTRIBUTED TO THE FATHER’S INFLUENCE.

BUILDING A FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP. COMMUNICATION BECOMES DIFFICULT AND PARENTING ISSUES MORE COMPLICATED. HOWEVER, THIS IS ALSO THE TIME WHEN DAUGHTERS MOST NEED THEIR FATHERS TO BE AN EVEN GREATER PRESENCE IN THEIR LIVES.

Girls who enter puberty later generally had fathers who were active participants in caregiving; had fathers who were supportive to the girls’ mothers; and had positive relationships with their mothers. But it’s the fathers’ involvement, rather than the mothers’, which seems to be paramount to the age of the girls’ development. The researchers believe that girls have evolved to experience early socialization, with their “antennae” tuned to the fathers’ role in the

family (both in terms of father-daughter and father-mother relationships) and that girls may unconsciously adjust their timing of puberty based on their fathers’ behavior. The researchers found that girls raised in father-absent homes or dysfunctional father-present homes experienced relatively early pubertal timing. They present several theories as to why this occurs. One explanation is that girls whose fathers are not present in the

home may be exposed to other adult males - stepfathers or their mothers’ boyfriends and that exposure to pheromones produced by unrelated adult males accelerates female development. The flip side of that theory is that girls who live with their biological fathers in a positive environment are exposed to his pheromones and are inhibited from puberty, perhaps as a natural incest avoidance mechanism.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

SECURITY LEADERSHIP PROTECTION PRIDE NOBILITY CARE WORLD VIEW EXPERIENCE PAT I E N C E LOVE PERSPECTIVE

Characteristics of a dad that help daughters in their development

A FATHER AND DAUGHTER’S BOND CAN AFFECT THE DAUGHTER’S ROMANTIC RELATIONSHI

FATHERS CONTRIBUTE TO THE MODELING AND DEVELOPMENT OF GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND TRUST, WHICH AFFECT HOW THESE GIRLS INTERACT WITH THEIR BOYFRIENDS.

PS.

Researchers have noted for decades that children view their home environment and relationship with their parents as â&#x20AC;&#x153;modelsâ&#x20AC;?, and that this is usually reflected in how these children interact in new environments in the future. For example, children who are exposed to highly aggressive parenting are in turn more likely to use hostility and aggression as means to attain their own goals (see our review of Hoevet et al. 2009 metaanalysis on parenting and delinquency). Children also model positive behaviors. For example, children

who see parents reach amicable resolutions to to conflicts are also more likely to learn better. Following this line of research, some investigators have examined whether child exposure to specific bonding or attachment styles are also likely to affect how these children act in their own close relationships later on in their life. To answer this battling question, a research group from Rider University examined the role of the quality of the father-daughter bond in the development of a positive romantic relationships during young adulthood.

â&#x20AC;&#x153; GIRL S LEARN TO CREAT E SECUR E ATTACHMENT S WITH THEI R DAD Sâ&#x20AC;? The authors studied 78 teens and young adults (average age 19), who reported on the quality of their relationship with their fathers and their current boyfriends. Three specific relationship domains were examined, namely: communication, trust, and time spent with their boyfriends/ fathers. The results: 1. Girls with good communication with their fathers also had significantly better communication with their boyfriends when compared to girls with low communication with their fathers. 2. Girls with high levels of trust with their fathers also had significantly

better communication and trust with their boyfriends. 3. Finally, time spent with their fathers was not associated with communication, trust or time spent with their boyfriends. At first glance, the data seem to show that the quality of bond between daughters and fathers, specifically communication and trust (albeit not time), predicts better communication and trust with their boyfriends. One interpretation is that these girls learn to create secure attachments with their dads, which allow them to then have more positive relationships

with their boyfriends. It is also possible that fathers contribute to the modeling/ development of good communication skills and trust, which affect how these girls interact with their boyfriends. However, it is also possible that this reflects an individual characteristic of the girls themselves and is not necessarily a reflection of the quality of the fatherdaughter bond. That is, it is possible that girls who have good communication with their fathers simply have a specific temperament or communication styles/ skills that facilitate the development of

good father-daughter communication, and it is this individual characteristic that also leads to better communication with their boyfriends. But more than likely a combination of individual characteristics and child-parent relationships is driving this effect, which would be in line with previous research on the effects of adolescent-parent relationships in later romantic relationships. For example, Donnellan found that both personality traits and parenting experiences during adolescents predicted the quality of romantic relationships in young adulthood.

Their

FATHER’S DAUGHTER

SCENE MAKERS The "Godfather" of mobster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in history. Sofia Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette.

HARD HITTERS There are many similarities between Muhammad Ali and his daughter Laila. She accepts them as her genetic legacy. He unwittingly passed on to his daughter a love of the punishing, exhilarating world of boxing. Her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s legendary status actually had nothing to do with Lailaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision to pursue a boxing career. She knows that there are millions who know every single detail of every pro fight her father fought. She has always been proud of his achievements, but he was never a boxer or legend to her--just dad.

CREATIVE ARTISTS

SCREEN ACTORS

With such a name, one could hardly fail to be noticed. The daughter of Pablo Picasso, however, is a personality and exciting talent in her own right, as she didn’t want her father’s fame to help her. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design and fabrication while still in her teens.

She recalled that at the age of five, she and her brother acted out in Western stories similar to those her father, Henry Fonda, played in the movies. When asked how her childlife influenced her life, she explained,” What influenced me the most was movies that my father, Henry, was in, like The Grapes Of Wrath and Twelve Angry Men. My father was a very remote person, but the roles he played communicated certain values to me. I had my father and his fillms to help me with important life lessons.

Francis Ford + Sofia

COPPOLA A LEGENDARY FILMAKER’S DAUGHTER CATCHES THE FAMILY FILM BUG

The “Godfather” of mobster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in history. Away from the camera, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “Sofia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role (no surprise) was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of The Virgin

Suicides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette. Francis Ford Coppola is an Italian-American film director, producer and screenwriter. He is most renowned for directing the Godfather films, The Conversation and Apocalypse Now. Coppola has often worked with family members on his films. He cast his two sons in The Godfather as extras during the street fight scene and Don Corleone’s funeral; his daughter, Sofia Coppola, appeared in all installments of the series. His sister, Talia Shire, played Connie Corleone in all

three Godfather films. His father Carmine, a composer and professional musician, co-wrote much of the music in The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nicolas Cage, starred in Coppola’s film Peggy Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video director whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes Anderson film The Darjeeling Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an

“REMEMBER THE ONETHING

ABOVE ALL: FATHER KNOWS BEST ”

Academy Awardwinning writer and nominated director. Her films include the critically ac the music in The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nicolas Cage, starred in Coppola’s film Peggy Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video director whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes Anderson film The Darjeeling Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an Academy Awardwinning writer and

nominated director. Her films include the critically acclaimed films The Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation. In 2004, she became the first American woman to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Director, in which she directed Lost in Translation. Alongside Lina Wertmüller and Jane Campion, Coppola became the third female director to be nominated for an Academy Award for Directing. She is also the only American woman to be nominated (Wertmüller is Italian and Campion is a New Zealander). Her win for best original screenplay made her a third-generation Oscar winner. In 2004,

Coppola was invited to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Coppola’s most recent film is the biopic Marie Antoinette, adapted from the biography by British historian Lady Antonia Fraser. Kirsten Dunst plays the title character who marries King Louis XVI, played by Jason Schwartzman, Coppola’s cousin. It débuted at the Cannes Film Festival where, It received a standing ovation however Critics were divided. In the mid1990s, she and best friend Zoe Cassavetes helmed the short-lived series Hi Octane on Comedy Central. which spotlighted performers in underground music, with frequent guests

like Donovan Leitch, Mike Watt, and friend Jenny Shimizu. The “Godfather” of mobster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highestgrossing and esteemed movies in movie history. Away from the camera, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “Sofia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of the great movies, The

PalomA + Pablo

PICASSO AS THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY’S MOST INFLUENTIAL ARTISTS, PALOMA HESITATED TO ENTER THE WORLD OF DESIGN.

EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influential artists, Paloma Picasso (born 1949) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoidable notoriety his name would provide. Once she began to

show the jewelry she created for Zolotas of Greece in 1971, however, critics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design and

fabrication while still in her teens. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter a fter the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic, “ she related in Hispanic. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped

drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design and fabrication while still in her teens. Paloma still designs jewelry for Tiffany’s, however, in 2000 she turned her designer wheel to neutrals. Known for her bold colors and patterns, in 2000 Paloma took her home accessories in a new direction. This shift was also reflected in Paloma’s personal appearance since she dispensed with the

THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO REMAIN AN ARTIST ONCE WE GROW UP fire truck-engine-red lipstick favored by her. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influential artists, Paloma Picasso (born 1949) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoidable notoriety his name would provide.

Once she began to show the jewelry she created for Zolotas of Greece in 1971, however, critics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design. End

Muhammad + Laila

ALI

AS THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL ATHLETES, LAILA DIDN’T HAVE ANY HESITATIONTO ENTER THE WORLD OF BOXING.

MUHAMMAD FLOATING, STINGING, PUNCHING, HE TRANSFORMED AND BECAME THE WORLD'S MOST ADORED ATHLETE Oliver Wendell Holmes once observed that every profession is great that is greatly pursued. Boxing in the early ‘60s, largely controlled by the Mob, was in a moribund state until Muhammad Ali — Cassius Clay, in those days — appeared on the scene. “Just when the sweet science appears to lie like a painted ship upon a painted ocean,” wrote A.J. Liebling, “a new Hero...comes along like a Moran tug to pull it out of the ocean.” Though Ali won the gold medal at the Rome Olympics in 1960, at the time the experts didn’t think much of his

boxing skills. His head, eyes wide, seemed to float above the action. Rather than slip a punch, the traditional defensive move, it was his habit to sway back, bending at the waist — a tactic that appalled the experts. Lunacy. Nor did they approve of his personal behavior: the self-promotions (“I am the greatest!”), his affiliation with the Muslims and giving up his “slave name” for Muhammad Ali (“I don’t have to be what you want me to be; I’m free to be what I want”), the poetry (his ability to compose rhymes on the run could very well qualify him as

the first rapper) or the quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging combination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merriment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with

Islam, he joked that he head, eyes wide, seemed to float above the action. Rather than slip a punch, the traditional defensive move, it was his habit to sway back, bending at the waist — a tactic that appalled the experts. Lunacy. Nor did they approve of his personal behavior: the self-promotions (“I am the greatest!”), his affiliation with the Muslims and giving up his “slave name” for Muhammad Ali (“I don’t have to be what you want me to be; I’m free to be what I want”), the poetry (his ability to compose rhymes on the run could very well qualify him as

Islam, he joked that he quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging combination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merriment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with

OPPONENT, APRIL FOWLER, SECONDS INTO THE FIRST ROUND.

LAILA DEBUTED IN 1999 AT AGE 21. TRUE TO THE INFAMOUS ALI LEGACY, SHE KNOCKED OUT

FONDA Henry + Jane

IN A SUDDEN TURNING POINT, JANE FONDA FOLLOWED HER FATHER’S TALENT OF ACTING AND JOINED HIM IN CAPTURING THEIR RELATIONSHIP ON SCREEN.

Henry Jaynes Fonda (May 16, 1905 – August 12, 1982) was an American film and stage actor, best known for his roles as plain-speaking idealists. Fonda’s subtle, naturalistic acting style preceded by many years the popularization of method acting. Fonda made his mark early as a Broadway actor, and made his Hollywood debut in 1935. Fonda’s career gained momentum after his Academy Awardnominated performance as Tom Joad in 1940’s The Grapes of Wrath, an adaptation of John Steinbeck’s novel about an Oklahoma family who moved west

during the Dust Bowl. Throughout six decades in Hollywood, Fonda cultivated a strong, appealing screen image in such classics as The Ox-Bow Incident, Mister Roberts and 12 Angry Men. Later, Fonda moved toward both more challenging, darker epics as Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in the West (portraying a villain who kills, among others, a child) and lighter roles in family comedies like Yours, Mine and Ours with Lucille Ball. Fonda was the patriarch of a family of famous actors, including daughter Jane Fonda, son Peter Fonda, granddaughter Bridget Fonda, and grandson

“ MY FATH E R WA S A VERY REM O T E P E R S O N, BUT THE ROL E S HE P L AY E D COM M U N I C AT E D CERTA I N VALU E S TO M E.” Troy Garity; his family and close friends called him “Hank”. Before starting her acting career, Fonda was a fashion model, gracing the cover of Vogue twice. Fonda became interested in acting in 1954, while appearing with her father in a charity performance of The Country Girl, at the Omaha Community Playhouse. She attended The Emma Willard School in Troy, New York and Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, where she was an undistinguished student. She recalled that at the age of five, she and her brother, actor Peter Fonda, acted

out Western stories similar to those her father, Henry Fonda, played in the movies. After graduating from Vassar she went to Paris for two years to study art. Upon returning, she met Lee Strasberg and the meeting changed the course of her life, Fonda saying, “I went to the Actor’s Studio and Lee Strasberg told me I had talent. Real talent. It was the first time that anyone, except my father — who had to say so — told me I was good. At anything. It was a turning point in my life. I went to bed thinking about acting. I woke up thinking about acting.

It was like the roof had come off my life!” On Golden Pond in 1981, the film adaptation of Ernest Thompson’s play, marked one final professional and personal triumph for Fonda. Directed by Mark Rydell, the project provided unprecedented collaborations between Fonda and Katharine Hepburn, along with Fonda and his daughter, Jane. The elder Fonda played an emotionally brittle and distant father who becomes more accessible at the end of his life. Jane Fonda has said that elements of the story mimicked their real-life relationship, and helped

them resolve certain issues. She bought the film rights in the hope that her father would play the role, and later described it as “a gift to my father that was so unbelievably successful.” Premiered in December 1981, the film was well received by critics, and after a limited release on December 4 On Golden Pond developed enough of an audience to be widely released on January 22. With eleven Academy Award nominations, the film earned nearly $120 million at the box office, becoming an unexpected blockbuster. In addition to wins for Hepburn

A DAY

IN THE LIFE

FROM ONE GRAPHIC DESIGNER TO ANOTHER

Troy Garity; his family and close friends called him “Hank”. Before starting her acting career, Fonda was a fashion model, gracing the cover of Vogue twice. Fonda became interested in acting in 1954, while appearing with her father in a charity performance of The Country Girl, at the Omaha Community Playhouse. She attended The Emma Willard School in Troy, New York and Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, where she was an undistinguished student. She recalled that at the age of five, she and her brother, actor Peter Fonda, acted