My Father's Apprentice by Hisa Ide

FATHER’S APPRENTICE

table of

CONTENTS INTRODUCTION

STATIS AND INFO

Why it matters

General Information

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

THEIR FATHER’S DAUGHTER

Information about various fathers and daughters

Famous fathers influence their daughter’s career

A DAY IN THE LIFE My father and me

INTRODUCTION

The Reason

WHY IT MATTERS A TOOL TO BRIDGE THAT GAP AND BUILD A REWARDING RELATIONSHIP

As the primary male ro le m o d e l i n a g i r l’s life, fathers influence their daughters in profound ways, from how t h ey s e e t h e m s e l v e s to what they come to expect from men and the world at large. But men often don’t realize the importance of their interactions or may shy away from too close involvement because of their inexperience, or conditioning. Especially as girls move into adolescence, fathers may

find themselves feeling distant from their daughters or awkward with the changing dynamic. Communication becomes difficult and parenting issues more complicated. But this is also the time when daughters most need their fathers to be an even greater presence in their lives. Dads and Daughters is a tool to bridge that gap and build a rewarding and joyful father-daughter relationship. From fa-

ther to father and with insights from many other dads, Joe Kelly s h ows m e n h ow t h ey c a n st re n g t h e n t h e i r relationships with their daughters and explores the tremendous rewards this relationship can bring. Starting with a self-assessment quiz titled “How Am I Doing as My Daughter ’s Father?” dads can immediately see what kind of role they play in their daughter’s life. To educate fathers and offer

solutions when problems arise, Dads and Daughters then offers thoughtful coverage of the most pivotal issues today’s girls face, such as sex and dating, body image, alcohol and drugs, media culture a n d v i o l e n c e, m o n e y and responsibility, and the future. In doing so he both illuminates the culture our daughters live in and shows fathers how to guide their daughters toward re warding, healthy lives.

Girls with close, suppor tive relationships with their parents tend to develop later, while girls with cold or distant relationships with their parents develop at an earlier age. The research is published in the most re c e n t e d i t i o n of t h e Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The research was conducted by Bruce Ellis, a postdoctoral fellow at Vanderbilt (now at the University of Canterbury in New Zealand); Stephen McFadyen-

Ketchum, adjunct assistant professor of psychology at Vanderbilt; Kenneth Dodge, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Vanderbilt; Gregory Pettit of Auburn University; and John E. Bates of Indiana University. The study looked at 173 girls and their families from Nashville and Knoxville, Tenn. and Bloomington, Ind. from the time the girls were in pre-kindergar ten until they were in the seventh grade. Girls

w h o h a d c l o s e, p o s i tive relationships with their parents during the first five years of life tended to experience relatively late puberty, compared to girls who h a d m o re d i st a n t re lationships with their parents. More specifically, the researchers found that the quality of fathersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; involvement with daughters was the most important feature of the early family environment in relation to the timing of the daughtersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; puberty.

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FATHERS HAVE INFLUENCE ON THEIR DAUGTERS IN A PROFOUND WAY, FROM HOW THEY SEE THEMSELVES TO WHAT THEY COME TO EXPECT FROM MEN.

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STATS & INFO

18 %

OF WOMEN BORN IN THE LAST DECADE FOLLOWED THEIR FATHERS FOOTSTEPS

COMPARED TO 6 PERCENT OF WOMEN BORN IN THE PREVIOUS DECADE.

20% OF THE DIFFERENCE IS ATTRIBUTED TO THE FATHER’S INFLUENCE.

BUILDING A

FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP

COMMUNICATION BECOMES DIFFICULT AND PARENTING ISSUES MORE COMPLICATED. HOWEVER, THIS IS ALSO THE TIME WHEN DAUGHTERS MOST NEED THEIR FATHERS TO BE AN EVEN GREATER PRESENCE IN THEIR LIVES. Girls who enter puberty later generally had fathers who were active p a r t i c i p a n t s i n c a re giving; had fathers who were supportive to the girls’ mothers; and had positive relationships with their mothers. But it’s the fathers’ involvement, rather than the mothers’, which seems to be paramount to the age of the girls’ development.

The researchers believe that girls have evolved to experience early socialization, with their “antennae” tuned to the fathers’ role in the family (both in terms of father-daughter and father-mother relationships) and that girls may unconsciously adjust their timing of puberty based on their fathers’ behavior. The researchers found that

girls raised in father-absent homes or dysfunctional father-present homes experienced relatively early pubertal timing. They present several theories as to why this occurs. One biological explanation is that girls whose fathers are not present in the home may be exposed to other adult males - stepfathers or their mothers’ boyfriends

and that exposure to pheromones produced by unrelated adult males accelerates female pubertal development. The flip side of that theory is that girls who live with their biological fathers in a positive environment are exposed to his pheromones and are inhibited from puberty, perhaps as a natural incest avoidance mechanism.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGY

FATHER DAUGHTER BOND AFFECTS THE DAUGHTER’S ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

CHILDREN VIEW THEIR HOME ENVIRONMENT AND RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR PARENTS AS MODELS Researchers have noted for decades that children view their home environment and relationship with their parents as â&#x20AC;&#x153;modelsâ&#x20AC;?, and that this is usually reflected in how these children interact in new environments in the future. For example, children who are exposed to highly aggressive parenting are in turn more likely to use hostility and aggression as means to attain their own goals (see our review of Hoevet et al. 2009 meta-analysis on parenting and delinquency). Children also model positive behaviors. For example, children who see parents reach amicable resolutions to

to conflicts are also more likely to lear n better. Following this line of research, some investigators have examined whether child exposure to specific bonding or attachment styles are also likely to affect how these children act in their own close relationships later on in their life. To answer this battling question, a research group from Rider University examined the role of the quality of the father-daughter bond in the development of a positive romantic relationships during young adulthood.

The authors studied 78 teens and young adults (average age 19), who reported on the quality of their relationship with their fathers and their current boyfriends. Three s p e c i f i c re l at i o n s h i p domains were examined, namely: communication, trust , and time spent with their boyfriends/fathers. The results: 1. Girls with good communication with their fathers also had significantly better communication with their boyfriends when compared to girls with low communication with their fathers. 2. Girls with high levels of trust with their fathers also had significantly better

communication and trust with their boyfriends. 3. Finally, time spent with their fathers w a s n o t a s s o c i a te d with communication, trust or time spent with their boyfriends. At first glance, the data seem to show that the quality of bond between daughters and fathers, specifically communication and trust (albeit not time), predicts better communication and trust with their boyfriends. One interpretation is that these girls learn to create secure attachments with their dads, which allow them to then have more positive relationships with

their boyfriends. It is also possible that fathers contribute to the modeling/development of good communication skills and trust, which affect how these girls interact with their boyfriends. However, it is also possible that this reflects an individual characteristic of the girls themselves and is not necessarily a reflection of the quality of the father-daughter bond. That is, it is possible that girls who have go o d c o m m u n i c at i o n with their fathers simply have a specific temperament or communication styles/skills that facilitate the development of good father-daughter

communication, and it is this individual characteristic that also leads to better communication with their boyfriends. But more than likely a combination of individual characteristics and child-parent relationships is driving this effect, which would be in line with previous research on the effects of adolescent-parent relationships in later romantic relationships. For example, Donnellan found that both personality traits and parenting experiences during adolescents predicted the quality of romantic relationships in young adulthood.

Their

FATHER’S DAUGHTER

FAMOUS FATHERS INFLUENCE THEIR DAUGHTER’S CAREER President Barack Obama had the right idea when he dedicated an entire afternoon the Friday before Father’s Day to promote and celebrate the importance of strong fatherhood. “Fathers have an obligation to help rear the children they bring into the world,” he said. “Children deserve this care, and families need each father’s active participation. ”Children are shaped by their fathers, of course, but when it comes to how women choose their career paths, Dad’s influence proves surprisingly significant. One study out of the University of Maryland found that only about 6% of women born before World War I followed in their father’s footsteps, whereas 20% of Gen X women, those born in the 1970s, did the same. Why the increase? We can explain it with something we’ve known all along: That same active participation that the president mentioned in his speech including

sharing job interests and skills can influence a daughter’s career choice and increase the likelihood that she will enter the same line of work. Michael Lewis, author of Home Game and subject of a photo essay by his wife, Tabitha Soren, the former MTV journalist, says he does about “31.5% of all parenting.” That’s in line with a 2004 Families and Work Institute study, which revealed that Gen-X fathers spend significantly more time with their children than Boomer dads with children of the same age, an average of 3.4 hours per workday vs. an average of 2.2 hours for the Boomers. It’s too soon to calculate the numbers for Gen-Y, but most experts have agreed these dads will devote even more time to their children.

THE SCENE MAKERS The "Godfather" of mobster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in history. Away from the camera, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several "Sofia" vintages, named for his daughter.

Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role (no surprise) was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette.

COPP SOFIa & Francis Ford

OLA

A LEGENDARY FILMAKER’S DAUGHTER CATCHES THE FAMILY FILM BUG The “Godfather” of mobster films may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in history. Away from the camera, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “Sofia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role (no surprise) was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation (which she won the Oscar

for Best Screenplay for) and Marie Antoinette. Francis Ford Coppola is an Italian-American film director, producer and screenwriter. He is most renowned for directing the Godfather films, The Conversation and Apocalypse Now. Coppola has often worked with family members on his films. He cast his two sons in The Godfather as extras during the street fight scene and Don Corleone’s funeral; his daughter, Sofia Coppola, appeared in all installments of the series. His sister, Talia Shire, played Connie Corleone in all three Godfather films. His father Carmine, a composer and professional musician, co-wrote much of

and professional musician, co-wrote much of the music in The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nicolas Cage, starred in Coppola’s film Peggy Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video director whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes Anderson film The Darjeeling Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an Academy Awardwinning writer and nominated director. Her films include the critically ac

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REMEMBER THE ONE THING ABOVE ALL : FATHER KNOWS BEST

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the music in The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, and Apocalypse Now. His nephew, Nicolas Cage, starred in Coppola’s film Pegg y Sue Got Married and was featured in Rumble Fish and The Cotton Club. Coppola’s son, Roman Coppola, is a filmmaker and music video director whose filmography includes the feature film CQ and music videos for The Strokes, as well as co-writing the Wes Anderson film The Darjeeling Limited. Coppola’s daughter, Sofia Coppola, is an Academy Awardwinning writer and nominated director. Her films include the critically acclaimed films The Virgin Suicides and Lost in

Translation. In 2004, she became the first American woman to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Director, in which she directed Lost in Translation. Alongside Lina Wer t müller and Jane Campion, Coppola became the third female director to be nominated for an Academy Award for Directing. She is also the only American woman to be nominated (Wertmüller is Italian and Campion is a New Zealander). Her win for best original screenplay made her a third-generation Oscar winner. In 2004, Coppola was invited to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Coppola’s most recent

film is the biopic Marie Antoinette, adapted from the biography by British historian Lady Antonia Fraser. Kirsten Dunst plays the title character who marries King Louis XVI, played by Jason Schwartzman, Coppola’s cousin. It débuted at the Cannes Film Festival where, It received a standing ovation however Critics were divided. In the mid-1990s, she and best friend Zoe Cassavetes helmed the shortlived series Hi Octane on Comedy Central. which spotlighted performers in underground music, with frequent guests like Donovan Leitch, Mike Watt, and friend Jenny Shimizu. The “Godfather” of mobster films

may have cut his teeth on low-budget filmmaking, however his work as a big-deal director has produced some of the highest-grossing and esteemed movies in movie history. Away from the camera, he has had success as a vintner, and among his acclaimed wines are several “Sofia” vintages, named for his daughter. Coppola caught the family film bug and her first role was as the baby in the christening scene in The Godfather. Her father has called her his idol and mentor, no small complement to the still-young director of the great movies, The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation and Marie Antoinette.

THE HARD HITTERS There are numerous similarities between Muhammad Ali and his 23-year-old daughter Laila. She accepts them as her genetic legacy. He unwittingly passed on to his daughter by ex-wife Veronica a love of the punishing, exhilarating world of boxing. She is the only one of his nine sons and daughters to embrace those genes that led to the ring.

Her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s legendary status actually had nothing to do with Lailaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s d e c i s i o n to p u rs u e a boxing career. She knows that there are millions who know every single detail of every pro fight her father fought. She never immersed herself in that sort of trivia, She has always been proud of his achievements, but he was never a boxer or legend to her--just dad.

MUHAMMAD FLOATING, STINGING, PUNCHING, HE TRANSFORMED AND BECAME THE WORLD'S MOST ADORED ATHLETE

Oliver Wendell Holmes once observed that every profession is great that is greatly pursued. Boxing in the early ‘60s, largely controlled by the Mob, was in a moribund state until Muhammad Ali — Cassius Clay, in those days — appeared on the scene. “Just when the sweet science appears to lie like a painted ship upon a painted ocean,” wrote A.J. Liebling, “a new Hero...comes along like a Moran tug to pull it out of the ocean.” Though Ali won the gold medal at the Rome Olympics in 1960, at the time the experts didn’t think much of his boxing skills. His

head, eyes wide, seemed to float above the action. Rather than slip a punch, the traditional defensive move, it was his habit to sway back, bending at the waist — a tactic that appalled the experts. Lunacy. Nor did they approve of his personal behavior: the self-promotions (“I am the greatest!”), his affiliation with the Muslims and giving up his “slave name” for Muhammad Ali (“I don’t have to be what you want me to be; I’m free to be what I want”), the poetry (his ability to compose rhymes on the run could very well qualify him as the first rapper) or the

quips ing notice?” or “Why ain’t you laughing?” (“If Ali says a mosquito can pull a plow, don’t ask how. Hitch him up!”). At the press conferences, the reporters were sullen. Ali would turn on them. “Why ain’t you take It was odd that they weren’t. He was an engaging combination of sass and sweetness and naivete. His girlfriend disclosed that the first time he was kissed, he fainted. Merriment always seemed to be bubbling just below the surface, even when the topics were somber. When reporters asked about his affiliation with Islam, he joked that he

LAILA DEBUTED IN THE RING IN 1999 AT AGE 21. TRUE TO THE INFAMOUS ALI LEGACY, SHE KNOCKED OUT HER OPPONENT, APRIL FOWLER, SECONDS INTO THE FIRST ROUND. SHE PROVED HERSELF TO BE HER FATHER’S DAUGHTER

THE ARTISTS With such a name, one could hardly fail to be noticed. And since her marriage, her name has an even more exotic ring—Paloma Picasso Lopez-Sanchez. The daughter of Pablo Picasso, however, is undoubtedly a personality and exciting talent in her own right. Visually arresting with striking fe at u re s, s h e a lways wore bright red lipstick to emphasize her white skin and thick, black

hair; when she reached her fifties, however, she no longer cared for such scrutiny and wore less noticable cosmetics. “For 20 years, I put it on every day,” Picasso told Faye Musselman of the Home Furnishings Network’s weekly newspaper, HFN, in March 2000. “When I was younger, I wanted to make an impression, to look older. But now t h at I’ve t u r n e d 5 0, I o b v i o u s ly d o n’ t w a n t to look older anymore.”

PalomA + Pablo

PICASSO AS THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY’S MOST INFLUENTIAL ARTISTS, PALOMA HESITATED TO ENTER THE WORLD OF DESIGN.

EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influ ential artists, Paloma Picasso (born 1949) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoidable notoriety his name would provide. Once she

began to show the jewelry she created for Zolotas of Greece in 1971, however, critics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design

and fabrication while still in her teens. Pablo Picasso, the Spanish painter who was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter a fter the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic, “ she related in Hispanic. “From the time I was

fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design and fabrication while still in her teens. Paloma still designs jewelry for Tiffany’s, however, in 2000 she turned her designer wheel to neutrals. Known for her bold colors and patterns, in 2000 Paloma took her home accessories in a new direction. This shift was also reflected in Paloma’s personal appearance since she dispensed with

THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO REMAIN AN ARTIST ONCE WE GROW UP the fire truck-enginered lipstick favored by her. Pablo Picasso, the S p a n i s h p a i n te r w h o was instrumental in the development of cubism, and Françoise Gilot, the French painter, named their daughter after the “paloma, “ or dove, that Picasso had created for the posters announcing an International Peace Conference in Paris, France. As the daughter of one of the twentieth century’s most influ ential artists, Paloma Picasso (born 1949) hesitated to enter the world of design. She did not want to be compared to her father, nor did she relish the unavoidable notoriety his name

would provide. Once she began to show the jewelry she created for Zolotas of Greece in 1971, however, critics were genuinely impressed. As a teenager developing her own tastes and styles, Paloma Picasso was reluctant to pursue artistic goals. “In the beginning, I tried not to think that I would have to do anything artistic.” she explains. “From the time I was fourteen, I stopped drawing completely. I thought, ‘I don’t want to become a painter like my father, ‘ but I didn’t know what else I wanted to become.” Picasso’s urge to create soon surpassed her hesitation; she began to study jewelry design.

A DAY

IN THE LIFE