Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Spring 2016

SUSSEX COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY NEWS SPRING 2016 www.sussex-counselling.co.uk

RAISING BOYS, SUPPORTING MEN

TRIANGLE SERVICES: PROTECTING CHILDREN

NEWS !AND VIEWS, SEMINARS, SUPPORTING REFUGEES, SOCIAL MEDIA, SETTING UP A LOW-COST COUNSELLING PRACTICE

The Palmeira Practice Join the Palmeira Practice and stand out from the crowd with the expertise of our in-house marketing and social media expert!

Consulting room hire with the benefit of group advertising and referrals Hourly rate: £6.50 to £7.50 Now in Seven Dials and Palmeira Sq! W: BrightonTherapyPartnership.org.uk E: Info@brightontherapypartnership.org.uk T: 07521-651395 SPRING 2016 Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP) News is the quarterly magazine for counsellors and psychotherapists working in and around Sussex who are registered members of SCAP. Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy News is the official journal of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Views expressed in the journal and signed by a writer are the views of the writer and not necessarily those of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy. Publication in this journal does not imply endorsement of the writer’s views. Similarly publication of adverts does not constitute endorsement by Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Contributions are welcome with a £20 book voucher for original material. Please email items for news, diary, feature or review to newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Deadline: 24 April for Summer 2016 issue.

Advertise in SCAP Newsletter Full page inside – £78 Half page – £48 Quarter page – £36 Contact: advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk or visit www.sussex-counselling.co.uk to book online

Please recycle

INSIDE 4 SCAP Seminars Our full programme 5 SCAP survey You answered and we listened 6 Mental health in schools Joint pilot announced 7 Obesity and mental health Sussex part of national study 8 Feelings about Calais A volunteer counsellor reflects on her visit to the camp known as The Jungle.

9 Mankind Therapist Carl Evans on the work of this Sussex service 10 Steve Biddulph Grant Bardsley on raising boys and supporting men

WELCOME...

And a Very Happy New Year to all.

In this issue we hear about a SCAP visit to find out about the stirling work of a local centre supporting children who have been sexually abused.

And we report on a visit to Brighton from the celebrated psychologist and parent educator Steve Biddulph talking about his revised book Manhood.

We also hear from counsellor Carl Evans on the challenges of gender stereotyping for counsellors working at Mankind in Brighton, which specialises in supporting men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and/or adult sexual assault at any time in their lives.

Don’t forget that membership of SCAP offers reductions on all our seminars - in the coming months that includes IT for the faint-hearted when myself and a colleague will be offering you the chance to learn about social media and free website software to help you promote your business.

There’s also details of our forthcoming seminar on Art in Mind and the practice of play therapy on June 4.

With news, views, reviews and dates for your diary we hope you enjoy this issue and pass on the good news about membership of SCAP to colleagues and fellow counsellors and psychotherapists.

Astrid Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP)

Contact Us

12 Triangle services SCAP seminar on a vital support for young people 16 Lewes practice Eileen Palmer on creating a niche counselling business 18 Diary 20 Reviews

Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Group PO Box 308, Brighton BN2 0WA Editor: Astrid Stubbs: newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Advertising : advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk Membership: membership@sussex-counselling.co.uk Chair: chair@sussex-counselling.co.uk General Enquiries: info@sussex-counselling.co.uk New Counsellors: newcounsellors@sussex-counselling.co.uk Paper Directory: paperdirectory@sussex-counselling.co.uk Secretary: secretary@sussex-counselling.co.uk Finance: finance@sussex-counselling.co.uk Website: website@sussex-counselling.co.uk Web: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk Twitter: @SussexCAP Facebook: www.facebook.com/SussexCounsellingAndPsychotherapy Printed in the UK www.dpsltd.net

4 Technology and art on the SCAP agenda Seminar programme connects and creates SCAP seminars booked for 2016 include an event on IT for your practice with Astrid Stubbs, Editor of SCAP magazine, and Lex Young who has experience of setting up Facebook/Twitter and other PR accounts for a range of organisations.

They will hold a hands-on session, helping you get your business organised on Twitter and/or Facebook as well as discussing free software options available for setting up a website for your practice.

The event takes place on 5 March at the YMCA in

Hove. Tickets cost £15 for members and £25 for non members. Places are strictly limited to allow time to work on a one-to-one basis SCAP will round off its annual seminar calendar on 25 June, with a forum on end-of-life counselling.

Details in next issue.

For more information and to sign up to all SCAP seminars contact SCAP Seminar Organiser Eileen Palmer at email: eileen.palmer@ntlworld.com

Play gets serious with art in mind On June 4 SCAP is running a seminar on play therapy.

Sam Taylor will introduce Art in Mind and explain how the organisation and its projects have been developed and how AIM uses Person Centred Art Therapy and Play Therapy, techniques and skills to help aid recovery of people with mental health.

Enjoy trying some interesting Person Centred Art therapy exercises and find out more about their clinical and practical applications.

By sharing some of her experience Sam will talk about how Person Centred Art Therapy and Play Therapy has helped her develop her own practice and how these skills may help you.

Art in Mind is an innovative organisation that uses art to raise awareness of mental health issues. It runs different mental health art themed projects that help aid young people and adults in recovery.

The organisation has four main on-going projects; Destressed Art 11 – 18 year olds, Art in Mind 16 – 25 year olds, Mindful Art over 25 years and a Recovery and Art course for mental health community members who are referred by different mental health agencies.

Research opportunities The pregnant counsellor.

Seeking practitioners who are pregnant to share their experiences of working during this time. One hour interview, location flexible.

Contact Clare Bhugon wc334@greenwich.ac.uk Call for MA research participants Seeking counsellors/therapists aged 40 or under who have worked with two or more clients aged 65 or over.

Must be qualified or in final year of training. Contact ezealley@hotmail.com Research on how psychotherapists experience the termination of therapy when it is initiated by long term clients. If you are interested please contact me at chryssa.chalkia@gmail.com Relational spirituality Do you recognise a time in counselling/psychotherapy as a counsellor when there is an aspect of the relationship that you would describe as ‘spiritual’. If you would answer a set of questions on this contact Jeff relationalspirituality@u wtsd.ac.uk More opportunities available at http://www.therapytoday. net/article/show/5152/rese arch/

SCAP NEWS

Only connect you tell us as part of SCAP study SCAP Member Secretary David Mugridge on our members’ survey Making connections on a social basis as well as meeting for CPD and other training is something you want as part of membership of Sussex Counselling.

Last year SCAP carried out a survey of members to determine what your needs are now and in the future.

Our report last issue looked into how we are doing right now. In this issue we look at your replies on how you’d like Sussex Counselling to be.

We found that: * 82% of respondents expressed either a strong interest or possible interest in meeting each other socially not just at CPD days (e.g. more social events in the way we met at our social event on 29 January) * 85% of respondents said they would be prepared to consider sharing their personal contact details to support this * 89% of replies were interested in special interest groups if this could be established

* 97% of replies would like more regular email updates of news and events.

We also asked whether or not you thought the cost of membership and CPD was good value for money. *90% of respondents thought that the annual membership fee was either extremely good, very good or reasonable (48% of replies thought it ‘extremely’ good) * 88% thought that CPD costs were also either extremely good, very good or reasonable (56% of replies thought this ‘extremely’ good).

Finally, we asked some more general questions about your membership: * 62% replied unequivocally ‘yes’ they would recommend Sussex Counselling to someone else (rising to 95% including ‘maybe’) *44% replied unequivocally ‘yes’ they felt a part of Sussex Counselling (rising to 73% including maybe) * 32% said they would be prepared to facilitate/ mentor/ be a buddy for a newly

qualified counsellor (rising to 69% including maybe) *Some 16% felt their web entry had so far definitely been useful to them (rising to 50% including maybe) * Some 26% felt their paper directory had so far been useful to them (rising to 48% including maybe).

There are some striking aspects here for us at committee to reflect on. In the first part of the survey there was a very strong desire to be a part of Sussex Counselling, to have other social opportunities and contact, to network, to receive more newsletters and so on. “Here the strength of this bond is perhaps a little weaker. This could be a priority area for our focus. It is also evident that there is some uncertainty as to how much business is being generated by the Sussex Counselling website and this could be another key area of focus and development for us,” comments David.

See the complete survey at www.sussex-counselling.co. uk

Getting to know you - who are the SCAP committee members?

To ensure our organisation is accessible to you we asked a series of questions to explore how known to you all we are as a committee and if you knew who to contact with a query.

Overall, the replies suggested that about half of you believed that you knew who to contact if you had queries ranging from CPD to membership. This figure dropped to 29% for who newly qualified members might contact (although this is still a very recent initiative).

We have updated the email contacts list on our website – you can contact all of the different committee ‘officers’ on our main page via www.sussex-counselling.co.uk.

6

Mental health in schools NHS England and the Department of Education have announced a multi million pound joint mental health pilot scheme for hundreds of schools.

The Mental Health Services and Schools Link Pilots will test a named single point of contact in 255 schools and in 22 pilot areas. Schools will appoint a single member of staff as their ‘mental health lead’ and this person will act as the contact point for all activity relating to the mental health of the school’s pupils. The aim of the project is to encourage more joined up working between schools and health services and it’s been backed by £3m of government funding.

See also this link in which a former head blames schools for rising mental health issues. www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationopinion/120257 11/Schools-largely-to-blame-for-rising-mental-health-issues .html

Social psychologist biography grant Professor of Social Psychology at the University of Sussex Rupert Brown, has received a Major Research Fellowship to write a biography of social psychologist, Henri Tajfel.

The three year award from the Leverhulme Trust will allow Prof Brown to conduct a programme of archival, oral historical and theoretical research about Tajfel, who supervised his PhD at Bristol University in the 1970’s.

Prof Brown says: “Henri Tajfel was arguably the single most influential European social psychologist of the last 50 years. He was a Polish Jew who escaped the Holocaust by the fortunate accident of being in France at the outbreak of the Second World War - the rest of his family perished at

the hands of the Nazis. This personal background had an abiding influence on his work.

“In his relatively short academic career he had an enormous impact on social science and I intend the book to be the story of his life, a critical appreciation of his work, and an assessment of his legacy to future scholars.

“It is a huge privilege to be afforded this opportunity to engage in this project, which is very different from anything I have undertaken previously.

I am simultaneously excited and daunted by the prospect.”

Since 1925, the Leverhulme Trust has provided grants and scholarships for research and education and is currently one of the largest all-subject providers of research funding in the UK.

Good behaviour A neuroscientist at Brighton and Sussex Medical School, run by Brighton and Sussex universities, has developed a digital form of behavioural therapy to help epilepsy patients.

The therapy by Dr Yoko Nagai with patients who are resistant to drugs, teaches them to train their brains to be more ‘alert’.

More than half of patients taking part in a clinical trial to test this personal therapy reported a reduction in seizure frequency by 50 per cent or more.

Find out more about the therapy at www.brighton.ac.uk/abo ut-us/news-and-events/ne ws/2016/01-04-digital-the rapy-for-epilepsy.aspx

Trauma informed Following news headlines on events which have resulted in trauma for many individuals, Leilani Mitchell, Director of the Link Centre, was interviewed on Uckfield FM on the subject.

You can listen to Leilani talking on the issue at http://bit.ly/1fXrJNm.

NEWS & VIEWS

Obesity and mental health action Sussex Partnership part of new national study Patients who have gained weight as a result of medication to treat their mental health condition are benefitting from a new national research study.

More than 20 people who suffer with psychosis have been given dedicated support to look at their eating habits, try out different types of exercise and make healthier food choices as part of the new STEPWISE study.

People with psychosis are up to three times more likely to be overweight or obese than the general public due to the effects of their prescribed antipsychotic medication.

Their weight gain can have a range of negative consequences, such as diabetes and heart disease.

The effects can also lead to people with the condition making the decision to stop taking their medication.

The STEPWISE study is funded by the National Institute for Health Research (NIHR) and is taking place at ten sites across England.

Locally, the study is being led

by Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, which provides specialist mental health services across the county.

A survey carried out on behalf of NIHR for National Obesity Week showed that while people’s understanding of the cause of obesity was clear, obesity levels continue to rise.

The study uses a programme to educate patients about healthy eating and the value of exercise to tackle long term health issues. It includes four weekly group sessions with clinicians and follow-up sessions after three, six and nine months all focussing on diet and exercise.

Dr Kathy Greenwood, lead investigator at Sussex Partnership, said: “Traditionally, the treatment for psychosis has concentrated on mental health alone. But it is important to address physical health too.

STEPWISE represents significant progress for patients in Sussex. Supporting people to eat healthily, change their exercise habits and look

Traditionally, the treatment for psychosis has concentrated on mental health alone. But it is important to address physical health too after themselves also helps with their confidence and improves their quality of life.

We are still recruiting and look forward to supporting more people with psychosis to improve their physical health.” www.crn.nihr.ac.uk/bigcha llenge

Loving kindness A popular meditation technique intended to create feelings of kindness can also reduce prejudice, according to new University of Sussex research.

The study, published online in the journal Motivation and Emotion, found that just seven minutes of Loving-kindness meditation (LKM), a Buddhist practice that promotes unconditional kindness towards oneself and others, is effective at reducing racial bias.

Lead researcher Alexander Stell, a doctoral student in Psychology, said: “This indicates that some meditation techniques are about much more than feeling good, and might be an important tool for enhancing inter-group harmony.”

Researchers also measured levels of self-directed emotions such as contentment, joy, pride and found that people doing LKM showed large increases specifically in these other-regarding emotions. http://link.springer.c om/article/10.1007/s11 031-015-9514-x

CALAIS CRISIS

Feeling the trauma of the Calais camp An anonymous Brighton counsellor reflects on her experiences When I shared with people that I was going to volunteer at Calais, I was praised – told I was ‘amazing’. I felt uncomfortable - after all, I was simply attempting to help vulnerable people who had so little compared to me.

I am a sensitive person who feels deeply for others and felt scared as to how I would cope emotionally with going into a refugee camp and seeing and hearing traumatised people.

After talking through my fears with loved ones, I processed my feelings and became grounded, and, as the trip approached, started to feel determined and focussed.

Before my volunteering trip, I had started to lose faith in humanity – terrible acts of violence were happening in the world and I was constantly encountering both in the media and from people around me; divisive prejudiced views. I wondered where compassion and kindness had gone?

Arriving I immediately picked up on the overwhelming compassion and sense of solidarity towards the refugees. I met many lovely volunteers from all walks of life, giving up their time to help in some way. Some were there for a day, others a long weekend like myself, and others a number of weeks and months.

Even though the work was physically and emotionally exhausting, it felt good being with a group of people with

shared values and all working hard towards the same goal.

There was an abundance of donations in the warehouse, primarily from the British public. I spent half of my time sorting through these donations; creating parcels of food, toiletries and clothes.

The other half of my time was spent in the camp distributing the parcels and meeting people.

This was an emotionally draining experience. The conditions of the camp are horrific: deep mud, faeces and litter everywhere. Unstable broken tents are called homes.

It was freezing and I wondered how people can live in these conditions.

I met men from all over the world – Iran, Eritrea, Sudan, Afghanistan, Syria, Pakistan.

People like me and you..someone’s father, brother, son. Some were really open and wanted to chat, others were withdrawn.

All clearly traumatised by what has happened at home, their difficult journey to Europe and the conditions in which they are now living.

However, there was a sense of community and resilience I felt strengthened by.

I felt overwhelmed by how gracious and grateful these men were for any help received, the parcels of food, clothes, toiletries. Saying ‘thank you’ over and over despite how long they had to queue in the wet and cold.

I made an effort to say ‘hello’, smile and shake hands with those around me. I noticed the impact of this interaction, especially my shaking their hands and making eye contact, and smiling. This seemed to mean such a lot to these people who have suffered beyond my imagination. My belief in the power of the human touch was affirmed.

I held it together whilst in Calais. However, for a few days after I returned, I felt quite traumatised by what I had seen and experienced in the camp – I could not get the image of the refugees’ sad desperate eyes out of my mind, and the feel of their cold hands. I found myself feeling overwhelmed by the excess around me in my world and yet just over 20 miles away from Kent – these vulnerable people are living in conditions that we as a nation of animal lovers would not allow our pets to live in.

This was an emotionally draining experience.

The conditions of the camp are horrific: deep mud, faeces and litter everywhere. These vulnerable people were living in conditions that we wouldn’t allow our pets to live in

MANKIND

Breaking down gender stereotypes to help men Carl Evans explains what it means to be a Mankind counsellor To understand Mankind Counselling consider three factors: men’s given and assumed societal gender identity, how sexual violence can affect men, and the Mankind approach.

In my view counsellors at Mankind need a grasp of societal issues facing men and the pressures they create on clients. In explaining this one can veer towards gender stereotypes and generalise about men. I therefore caveat the following by acknowledging that men are individual, complex and multifaceted. For example I like flowers and football.

Therefore to describe me as ‘metrosexual’ or ‘a new man’ narrows my identity based on floral appreciation.

To understand the restrictions of male stereotypes let’s name the difficulties that can bind us.

Apparently men are, by nature or design, strong, aggressive, able to cope, not sad/tearful, perpetrators, highly sexualised etc. In addition ‘new men’ are expected to be, caring, sensitive, understanding of women’s needs, focused on child rearing, etc. Sometimes men are required to be ‘conventional’ and ‘new’ in direct contradiction e.g. tough and sensitive. Some pressures come from feminism, challenging (rightly in my view) old ideas of maleness.

The difficulty is that there is little to replace old certainties and what is offered is often driven from a female perspective or unclear so male experience and barriers for

men seeking support can be missed.

Awareness of gender context is essential for Mankind counsellors. Clients may feel they should have been able to defend themselves because ‘real men are strong’, that they attracted the abuse because ‘men enjoy sex’, that they are deficient because they ‘can’t cope’ or they are not a ‘modern man’ because their feelings are shut down in defence. Men are viewed as ‘perpetrators’ rather than ‘victims’ and are often not believed, leading to massive under reporting. This creates an idea that there are too few victims to warrant resourcing for research and support, limiting access to help, which increases isolation and reinforces effects of abuse.

In reaction men can retreat to stereotypes to appear ‘strong’ becoming more aggressive, they may question their sexuality due to the involuntary physical reaction which can cause erection when anally penetrated without sexual arousal. They may become self-destructive through risk taking, substance abuse and self-harm or withdrawn, embracing the blame, guilt and shame abusers foist upon them.

Carl Evans is BACP registered counsellor working at Mankind Counselling. He delivers projects for families with multiple and complex needs for Brighton and Hove City Council, works with male offenders HMP Lewes and in private practice.

About Mankind Sussex-based Mankind counsels traumatised individuals across modalities with emphasis on the theories of Babette Rothschild, Judith Herman and Peter Levine. It stabilises and increases the safety for clients at their own pace, grounding them and gently addressing the effects of and sometimes incidents of abuse. Says Carl: “We work moment to moment to develop safety whilst promoting bravery to proceed. We are flexible in approach but know that this work cannot be rushed in a brief therapy time frame.

We hold the client at the centre of the organisation with changes instigated through careful consideration of the effect on clients. We see the value of our structured group programme, facilitated unstructured groups and client support networks.

Men choose the setting that works for them and progress with support from professionals and each other.

My experience of working at Mankind is one of challenge, extensive support, and respect for lived experience. Above all it is a privilege to work with men who are brave enough to examine their history, develop strength in their vulnerability and become a new man, whatever they define that to be www.mankindcounselling. org.uk

10

Regaining balance - Steve Biddulph on men Grant Bardsley spends an evening with the guru - and keeps his shirt on Wi t h s u i c i d e n o w t h e biggest cause of death in men aged 20-49*, the crisis in masculinity could not be more obvious, so the publication of a revised edition of Steve Biddulph's 1994 book Manhood is particularly timely.

I went along with several co-workers to the Brighthelm centre for The Road to Manhood: A special evening for men, a seminar coinciding with the release of the book, and as I sat in an all-male crowd, many of them therapists and youth workers, I was struck by the fact that I had never been at an exclusively male gathering focusing exclusively on male issues (drinking real ale and watching sport notwithstanding), and the last time I could remember ‘manhood’ being a subject for discussion was around the time of Robert Bly's Iron John; A Book about Men, more than a quarter of a century ago now.

With visions of Bly’s naked shamanic drumming and bonfire confessionals lurking at the edge of awareness I was somewhat anxious about how the evening might unfold, but in the event, what we got was Biddulph's compassionate and committed presence and some solid, though perhaps not earth-shattering advice

MEN

on how to be ‘whole men’, and we all kept our shirts on.

Supported only by a microphone and a flip-chart, Biddulph was a rangy and gently energetic figure, more avuncular than fraternal, and started the evening by acknowledging and thanking both the over-65 ‘elders’ in the room, and the under 18’s.

Over two hours richly textured with anecdotes both personal and received, Biddulph laid out the bare bones of his thesis, which is that, as post-industrial men, we have become estranged from our fathers, our wives and families, our sexual responses and ourselves.

Punctuating his talk with small group and paired activities around the room, Biddulph asked us to consider the status of our relationships with our fathers, whether our spirits and minds and bodies are aligned, and our attitudes towards sex.

I felt there was some unease in the room around this last; the task was to choose between several scenarios in which sex and relationships were framed in different ways, some of them a bit ‘taboo’, a bit less acceptable

from a liberal post-feminist perspective than others, and there was the nagging worry that if you made the ‘wrong’ choice you might end up getting sucker-punched.

There wasn’t really enough time to work through what came up from this exercise; I felt there was a lot that remained to be expressed around this subject and regretted it hadn’t been raised earlier in the evening.

As far as the other activities were concerned, it became clear that many of us only have the most tenuous and distant relationships with our fathers and Biddulph’s injunction was ‘fix it with your fathers before it’s too late!’. In terms of aligning mind, body and soul too, it was clear that for lots of us, one or other of these domains is out of kilter.

Grant Bardsley is a counsellor, trainer and facilitator in West Sussex

The bare bones of Biddulph’s thesis is that, as post-industrial men, we have become estranged from our fathers, our wives and families, our sexual responses and ourselves.

Sharing the struggle At the end of the evening Biddulph made a generous two-for-one offer on his book, urging us to give the ‘free’ copy to a male friend, but by the time I got to what had started as a considerable stack, every copy had gone, reflecting the positive response to Biddulph and his message around the room.

Some people queued to get their copy signed but, in the end, even those of us without books lined up to shake his hand and offer our thanks.

I think we all felt we’d received a type of blessing from Biddulph, a benediction allowing us, just for a short while, to share something of our struggles, to be a little vulnerable and to acknowledge, amongst fathers and sons and uncles and brothers, both the joys and the hardships of what it is to be a man.

A Crisis in Modern Masculinity: Understanding the Causes of Male Suicide Nov 2014, : Dr Judith Welford, Head of Public Knowledge & Jane Powell, CEO *www.thecalmzone.net/ wp-content/uploads/2014/ 11/CALM-State-of-the-Na tion-Audit-Summary.pdf

12

When the Triangle helps protect our young SCAP’s Eileen Palmer on the work of the Triangle services in Brighton Triangle services is located in a quiet cul-de-sac overlooking some of the green hills of the South Downs as well as views over the English Channel. The building, a modern, bright and welcoming structure was the venue for an impressive seminar on child protection.

From the colourful playground-type slide that greets you at the entrance, tempting you to use it instead of the stairs, through to the bright rooms, toys, gizmos and hi-tech systems installed throughout, you soon realise the entire place is geared for children. Children, and their well-being are at the centre of all Triangle aspires to achieve.

Not only was this seminar successful, it was outstanding, providing insight into child abuse and its effects, gaining statements from children as young as two years old, taking these children through the court system and providing help, support and therapy during and afterwards. This seminar is a must for all school counsellors, those in pastoral care, in fact teachers of all ages. The knowledge and understanding gleaned in those three, all too brief hours, gave a unique window into the dedicated work of therapists, intermediaries, carers and others who help to uncover some of the darkest and most horrific elements of

child sexual abuse, of murders witnessed by children and other dreadful deeds.

Founder and director Ruth Marchant instructed us on methods of interviewing children which are likely to result in gathering information to be presented in court, using skills that are impartial yet supportive and kind yet professional.

Patience alongside an ability to communicate on the child’s level are essential skills, as Triangle’s forensic interviewers must encourage a deeply traumatised child to trust an adult who is asking them to remember and talk about things they’d rather forget. Ruth gave clear instructions on how to ask questions and interpret what the child is trying to tell us, then she set us to work in pairs as a ‘child’ and interviewer with hidden messages the interviewer had to try to decipher. We weren’t surprised to discover the task is a hard one.

Ruth went on to instruct us about sexually concerning behaviours and how these can be an indicator of hidden

sexual abuse. She gave us glimpses into horrific abuse case studies and the subsequent court proceedings, using intermediaries, video links, advocacy, therapy and support. We appreciated hearing how the courts are using witnesses and victims as young as two years old.

Lawyers, judges and barristers are more knowledgeable about children in court and they must change their questioning styles to fit with the age of the child. She told us how for one particularly gruelling case where the child was extremely distressed, the whole of the court room was instructed by the judge to dress in jeans and t-shirts to encourage the child to feel more relaxed. This included the judge and barristers!

We were given a tour of the premises by two children who use Triangle services. We were requested not to ask the children why they used the service but to be friendly and warm as they showed us round. The children were delighted and sometimes overawed at their given task

Triangle enables children’s communication when it matters most, for example when children or young people’s evidence is required by the courts, when their views are needed to inform decisions about their lives, and when adults are trying to understand and respond to concerning behaviours.

PROTECTING CHILDREN

but did a stirling job. We were shown the interview rooms equipped with hidden microphones, video cameras, child-sized desks and chairs, papers, pens and a variety of toys. We began to understand that as the children are being interviewed by a forensic interviewer, with a police officer present, they’re being watched on a TV screen by experts in another room downstairs. The information is recorded and analysed to help inform the interview process.

Some of the TV footage is used in the courtroom once a trial in underway.

Ruth explained the role of an intermediary working with children. Triangle train skilled intermediaries who can enable communication with children and young adults up to the age of 25.

They have specialist skills in communication with young people who have learning disabilities such as low IQ, children with autism, brain injuries, ADHD, mental health issues and physical disabilities.

We came away from a hugely informative morning from which we were all moved and silenced. This seminar was a truly humbling experience in which we gained so much.

An experienced intermediary was present throughout the seminar and we were invited to ask her questions about the role and the responsibilities therein.

Finally we were encouraged to hear how Triangle and other child protection services are moving the judicial and child agencies towards a greater appreciation of the ability of all children to tell us their life stories and what they’ve experienced or endured in their lives. We learned how much of this communication is not through the use of words but by body language, facial expressions, strong reactions to particular stimuli, and also by what the child doesn’t do or say. As therapists we can develop our skills to see and interpret beyond the talking medium. www.triangle.org.uk

Eileen Palmer is a psychologist and psychotherapist and taught counselling courses in Further Education as well as providing counselling training with various organisations in Sussex

Value of therapy Courts and child protection agencies are becoming increasingly aware of the value of therapy for abused children. There is still some professional controversy over whether or not therapy pre trial could affect the child’s testimony. However, an increasing number of judges are appreciative of the healing effects of therapy for deeply damaged children. Ruth provided us with literature to take away with us, which outlined the changes in British court proceedings to accommodate child care and protection, putting children at the very centre of court hearings.

We’d been given specialist communication skills, shown behind the scenes interviewing approaches at their best, learnt details about British child law proceedings, encouraged by the advances in recognition of the value of therapy and support for all children, no matter how young.

If you can go to one of Ruth’s repeats of this seminar I have no hesitation in encouraging you to enrol.

The learning environment is rich, safe and dynamic ~ explore, learn, ask questions, challenge and be challenged.

Please visit our website to enrol

www.thelinkcentre.co.uk or for further information, call us on 01892 652487

At The Link Centre we take pride in the quality of our training ~ resulting in professional, ethical and competent practitioners.

If you are interested in developing your skills and experience, join us on our CPD Workshops and Introductory Courses.

Therapy Marathon

Fri Eve 26th February and Sat 27th February A 9 hour Therapy Marathon with Frances Townsend.

A marathon offers something different from and complementary to ongoing therapy. (£120)

LGBT Affirmative Practice

Sunday 13th March In this one-day workshop we will discuss terminology and clarify definitions around LGBT affirmative practice.

We will consider specific issues that LGBT people might bring to the therapy room, how to work effectively with them and how your own sexual preference, experience and culture may influence your thinking and practice.

Course Tutor: Patrick Brook (£70)

Free Wellbeing / Networking Evenings

9th March, 4th May, 6th July A FREE evening event ~ which includes a guest speaker, an opportunity to network and the chance to find out about The Link Centre’s part-time counselling and psychotherapy courses.

TA101 Introduction to Transactional Analysis

12th/13th March, 21st/22nd May, 23rd/24th May This weekend course will introduce some of the main concepts of TA including: life script, psychological games, ego states and transactions. It leads to an internationally recognised certificate and is a starting point for those wishing to continue with further counselling / psychotherapy training.

Course Tutor: Leilani Mitchell (£120)

Introduction to Supervision

Saturday 24th September This course is for those thinking about branching out into Supervision. In particular, it is concerned with considering what a practitioner may need to think about when making the transition into supervision, looking at how supervision differs from therapy, and looking at a model for understanding the supervision process.

Course Tutor: Mark Head (£70)

Introduction to Mindfulness

Sunday 25th September An introductory course for those interested in Mindfulness and the potential benefits from developing an ongoing mindfulness practice and for those thinking about pursuing mindfulness studies further.

Course Tutor: Mark Head (£70)

Part-Time Counselling / Psychotherapy training courses

Enquire now and find out about our part-time courses which start in October 2016.

The Link Centre training rooms are at Newick, East Sussex.

Multi-Level Counselling Skills

3rd/4th & 10th/11th September ~ 9.00am to 5.30pm A multi-level course (basic, intermediate or advanced) to learn counselling skills for the first time or improve and develop existing skills.

Course Tutors: Leilani Mitchell, Mark Head, Lisa Bedford-Cooper. (£420)

www.thelinkcentre.co.uk

16

Caring and successful - viable counselling SCAP’s Eileen Palmer on how to find a niche and establish a practice Back in the early 80’s when I was first at University, very few counselling courses existed.

If your inclination was to study human behavior and emotion you took the psychology or psychiatry route, specialised, perhaps worked in the NHS, became part of the Brain Drain to the USA, or even entered the risky world of private practice.

Fast forward to 2016 and what uni.com tells us: 64 universities in the UK offer 132 counselling degrees, whilst the BACP struggles to regulate the countless counselling diploma courses on offer at colleges and organisations in every large town in the country. As the number of counsellors increases year on year, the need for each to find employment is keen. The NHS replaced counsellors and psychotherapists with IAPT practitioners, the Brain Drain is long gone, leaving many counsellors considering the world of self employment.

Self employment is a business. Starting a thriving business, either not for profit or for financial reward takes hard work and careful forethought. One must first reconcile the inner conflict between wanting to help others and making money, then the next step is to plan, develop and maintain a successful concern. Gov UK

2015 Start Your Own Business advice website suggests looking for a gap in the market where you offer something different which no-one yet has done.

I interviewed one of the founders of Low Cost Counselling Service Lewes, a counselling organisation which did just that (see box, right), offering low cost counselling to people who could not usually afford to seek therapy, opening up a completely new service in an area where none had existed before. Offering counselling at costs between £4 - £20, their counselling service has

creative thought to begin by asking ‘what is the problem to be solved?’ Once the problem is identified the article suggests you find a unique solution to that problem, a solution which becomes your business. Then seek to attract investment from charities, institutes, local groups or global NGOs. Finally the advice is to map a 3 – 10 year journey, taking special care of details of the first year’s plan.

Another approach may be to set up a counselling business where the aim is to increase profits, to expand and diversify. Barclays Bank (2015) provide advice on how

Starting a thriving business, either not for profit or for financial reward takes hard work and careful forethought. One must first reconcile the inner conflict between wanting to help others and making money. The next step is to plan grown exponentially over the four years since its inception, proving so successful it’s won finance and gained recognition and respect by the community in providing a much-needed service.

Their counselling service stands as an example of success in achieving what the founders set out to achieve, operating with financial fluidity, making enough money to develop the service each year. A 2013 article in the Guardian, Be The Change Maker, considers a blueprint for such success, encouraging

to create such a venture which begins firmly with a business plan. As with all of the big banks Barclays encourages a thorough written definition of exactly what will be achieved and how it can be achieved.

This includes what you aim to offer, how you will provide it, where you’ll operate, your pricing structure over a three year period. You need to be aware of your clientele, the demographics, your marketing plans.

They stipulate that even the smallest details must be written down; “be clear,

SETTING UP IN BUSINESS

realistic and concise. Use research to support your conclusions and include an action plan. Business plans are dynamic documents – meaning that you should adjust your plan as your business develops.”

Gov UK 2015 expands on Barclays advice, encouraging entrepreneurs to seek partners or colleagues before looking for sources of funding to help with the costs of starting up a new business. They offer a video forecasting business finances and encourage learning around sales, profit and loss and cash flow. For many counsellors this type of information is far from their comfort zone but is essential in any business. Gov UK even encourages the selling of shares as a means of gaining more investment, through friends and family or through equity funding.

One message appears to stand out from all sources of advice, and from successful counselling services such as Low Cost Counselling Services Lewes is that there is strength in numbers. Starting a new venture with others is a stronger option, lessening risk and providing interested others with whom to share your thoughts. www.gov.uk/browse/busin ess/setting-up www.barclays.co.uk/Busin essBankAccounts/Startingy ourownbusiness/P12425585 28795

A story of growth - Low Cost Counselling Service, Lewes This service was started by a group of experienced and qualified counsellors who, over the years, were aware of the genuine need for a counselling service that catered for people on a low income or, because of their circumstances, were in financial difficulties. \ We are committed to providing an affordable low cost counselling service to people in the area who, for a variety of reasons, are unable to afford the counselling they need.We began to explore the feasibility of providing a low cost counselling service in August 2012. Our major task at the beginning was to raise some money to set up the service and find low cost counselling venues.

Initially we were able to make a start by using rooms at the House of Friendship, who kindly offered premises free of charge for a period in order to get us established.

We applied to the Town Council for a starter grant and they gave us £800, which enabled us to begin to develop our work and negotiate with local business people who offered premises at a very reasonable rate.

This included usage of the meeting room at The Hive on certain days of the week and in the evenings, and use of other therapy rooms in the town. We now have a room at The Hive for our sole usage, although we still have to use other rooms to cater for the availability of clients and counsellors during the week.

During this period our client base has increased. Our growth has been steady from our beginning in September 2012 with a continuing stream of new clients using our service. Over this period we have had more than 2000 sessions with clients.

In order to meet the growing demand for our service, the number of counsellors working for us on a voluntary basis has increased from 4 to 7 and we may need to increase this number in the future. We work with a wide variety of clients from differing backgrounds and offer a variable amount of sessions according to the client’s needs.

18 FEBRUARY 26/27 Therapy marathon. Link Centre, Newick, Sussex.

Details: www.thelinkcentre.co.uk/co urses/therapy-marathon/ FEBRUARY 27 Understanding shame and humiliation in couple relationships. Brighton.

Details: www.emotionaldevelopmen t.co.uk/events/current-event s?task=view_category&cate gory_id=2 MARCH 5 Working with dissociation.

Portslade. Details: www.brightontherapypartn ership.org.uk/events/

MARCH 11 Practitioner resilience.Brighton. Details: www.boingboing.org.uk/ind ex.php/resilience-forum/10static-content/static-pages/2 33-1day-workshop-mar-16 MARCH 13 LGBT affirmative practices.

Link Centre, Newick, Sussex.

Details: www.thelinkcentre.co.uk/co urses/lgbt-affirmative-pract ice/ MARCH 14/15 TA101, two day introductory workshop for Transactional Analysis. Wealden Institute, Crowborough. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk

MARCH 17 Animal assisted therapy.

Wealden Institute, Crowborough. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk MARCH 19 Use of creative arts in therapy. Chichester. Details: www.ccs-counselling.org.uk /workshopsdayconf.html MARCH 19 The Adult only child in therapy:exploring the stereotype. Details: www.brightontherapypartn ership.org.uk/events/ APRIL 14 Octia 2106 online conference. Details: http://octia.org.uk/online-d elegates/

DIARY/REVIEWS Anxious, isolated, depressed? There’s a book for that...

Tolstoy Therapy: A Fiction Prescription - Lucy Horner Bibliotherapy is all about feeling good with books: reading great novels, poems and stories to help us through difficult situations and feelings, says Lucy Horner.

It’s also about nurturing our sense of well-being and feeling better in ourselves.

Reading is one of the best ways to relax and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet, she says.

When you’re struggling with anxiety, low mood, challenging situations or difficult feelings, you may well turn to therapy, self-help, alternative therapies or medication.

However, argues Horner, one solution may already be in your home, stacked neatly on your bookshelves.

Hers is a book about bibliotherapy, or how we can all feel a bit better with fiction.

The book details how the literary greats have guided Lucy, who has Asperger’s/ASD, through life and anxiety, as well as hearing the stories of other readers, and enjoying all the fiction prescriptions on offer in this literary first aid kit.

It tells how Tolstoy has helped her find meaning in her own life and how fellow bibliophiles have overcome anxiety with Haruki Murakami, and how Jane Eyre could hand you the courage and confidence to succeed in life.

Lucy has also established LitTherapy at www.littherapy.com, which is a bibliotherapy recommendation website, to help people find the right books to support them.

Setting up a therapy practice? All you need in one book The Essential Skills for setting up a counselling and psychotherapy practice – Gladeana McMahon, Stephen Palmer, Christine Wilding This book met my expectations from the title to the very end. It is very insightful as well as precise in the knowledge that people starting out in private practice need to be aware of as well as put into practice.

It is clear on what is needed to be successful in private practice and what the pitfalls might be if you don’t proceed with caution and care from the start.

The authors offer a sample business plan, as well as legal requirements; such as confidentiality, contracts, competency, membership of professional bodies, keeping notes, accessing supervision, working from home or from an office.

Self-management is also worked through and the authors give examples of how some people might approach private practice - giving up a full time job to focus on counselling, or to keep a part time job for security whilst the practice kicks off.

They also include suggestions of what to do when retiring or when having too few or too many clients.

I believe this book is a great tool for counsellors starting out in private practice or counsellors who want to get

fresh ideas on the current private practice options and regulations.

It is not a book to be read only once as there is a lot of information to take in.

It might be useful to go back to the sections that are relevant to the reader at each step of their private practice.

Easy-to-read and to the point, it contains great detail and support for counsellors in private practice, answering the anxieties, issues, and opportunities we might encounter in that journey.

KB Karin Brauner, MBACP, MBPS is a bilingual counsellor in private practice in Brighton.

20 A life well-loved - a book of poetry by Ruby Esprit The Orphanage Regimented rows of loaves Bundles; raised from the dread Of annihilation, implode.

Yearning instead for special looks That will give us names Other than Anxious, Ambivalent Compliant, Disorgansied, Defiant.

Too young to be flung Into the abyss, unkissed Untouched by the gentle caress Of mothers to call our very own.

Starched sheets, laundered neat To bleach away the longing For the comfort of her breast.

Manna from heaven.

Waiting, always waiting for someone Anyone, to come to hold a hand And take us home where it is pink, soft, Or lay our heads on pillows blue in a room to feel precious in As your treasure chest of gems.

We are innocents, locked away In a sense from those that scorn That bastards were ever born.

I am not the centre of her world As she picks me up, in turn, To drop me down, never quite enough To satiate, but not as hungry As the next… and the next We are one of many But not your ten-a-pennies In the institute of degradation The tiny destitutes have no disguise For the humiliation, relegation Of being de-personalised.

These were suffering little children Deemed illegal by birth From

When a Butterfly Screamed

I wrote the poem, left, sitting amongst counsellor colleagues at a talk by the son of John Bowlby, the father of Attachment theory.

I felt quite brave in raising my hand to say that I knew how it felt to be one of those children who experienced the devastation of maternal deprivation and separation in those years when the church considered it a sin for a woman to be pregnant and unmarried.

The woman next to me touched my hand with a compassion that I too have come to give myself, transforming being hard on myself to a real victory that I have come through what most people would see as tragic early beginnings.

My determination, courage and kind caring heart were gifts, I feel, that were innate, helped by the stability of my late adoptive parents who loved me in an uncomplicated way when they wanted to take care of me at the age of five.

I had already been in the care system for three and a half years when I was reunited with my birth mother and her new partner to lose them overnight after witnessing domestic violence. I was traumatised.

And yet throughout my life I have always believed that when all else falls away there is only love.

My story, now published, takes you on the journey of how I experienced feelings of worthlessness, with an over-stimulated limbic system and how that affected a self-fulfilling prophecy when trying to get close to another human being.

Grief, yearning, searching or not, identity confusion, the stuff of therapy and artists were all layers to negotiate in order to come home to myself.

I wish to inspire hope in my book of poems for people who have internalised messages of ‘not being good enough’, ‘second best’, ‘somehow flawed’, to come through, to challenge and let go so that they can live in the moment rather than define themselves by living out of their history.

My life, well-loved, has carved out many loving friends, a career in the helping professions, two adorable sons, one of whom I adopted, travelling the world.

Now in my late 50’s I am to marry a man who accepts all of who I have become.

It has been a rough journey, sometimes very lonely, but I have met some wonderful people on the way.

Buy When a Butterfly Screamed by Ruby Esprit at Amazon.

REVIEWS

Irving Yalom’s tales from the front line of psychotherapy What is it about Irving Yalom? Drop his name into conversation with any pick n’ mixed bag of therapists and the result is universal approbation, cutting across all borders of orientation. Love’s Executioner is likely to get a mention.

With his latest work, Creatures of a Day – and other Tales of Psychotherapy, he’s returned to the formula that made that book so successful, offering wryly observed and beautifully written psychotherapeutic vignettes.

‘Tales’ is the right word to describe what he offers:, tales

of an ex-ballerina obsessed with lost love, a hard-bitten cancer nurse dealing with the pain that gets through the cracks, a business man re-visiting the death of his father through the inexplicable suicide of a friend, and seven others.

These are a world away from the clinical case history and all the more edifying for it, brimming with gently humorous, warm descriptions of Yalom’s attempts to connect with his clients’ lived experience in the moment, and marked by his sharing of his thoughts and feelings,

NEW CONSULTING ROOMS IN BRIGHTON Newly-refurbished consulting rooms in the Fiveways area of Brighton available to rent now.

We have three analytic rooms with a couch and three counselling/psychotherapy rooms, all of which are beautifully renovated and furnished to a high standard. All adjoining rooms have been fully soundproofed. Each room is fully self-contained with its own number lock. Rooms cost £7.50 per hour.

On street parking is free and we are right next to a bus stop

For further information please contact Anne Guildford on 07570 890089 or Jeremy Vintcent on 07747 442233

misgivings and mistakes and triumphs as he focuses, again and again, on the ‘real’ relationship between him and his client, asking, ‘what’s really going on between us?’

Where love was the theme in his earlier work in this it is death, with each of his clients confronting their mortality and Yalom, 80 now, squarely eyeing his own.

Yalom’s existential bent is clear in his determination to look towards death with a soft and compassionate gaze but never to look away, and a sense of him touching, from his own experience, his clients’ dread is always close to the surface of his text.

So, what is it about Yalom?

Perhaps it’s that his practice straddles the most useful strands of all orientations due to his existential/psychodynamic and relational approach. In fact, though, it’s not his humanism, or his existentialism, or his years of experience. It’s his humanity; his recognition and acceptance and accommodation of the fact that, in certain crucial respects at least, in terms of the givens, we are all on the same journey.

Whatever it is about Yalom, this book has it in spades.

Grant Bardsley is a counsellor, trainer and facilitator

Wealden Psychology Institute Established in Crowborough, East Sussex since 1986

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk For 28 years Wealden Institute has been a centre of excellence for specialized and advanced learning for counsellors, psychotherapist and supervisors, offering courses from beginner to post graduate level, accredited by the BACP and recognized by the UKCP, UKATA, EATA and ITAA. The Institute has many years’ experience in providing the highest levels of practice through our Trauma Clinic, Supervision Service, Forensic Psychology Division and Animal Facilitated Therapy at our organic farm in High Hurstwood. We offer popular and acclaimed training in each of these fields through the highly respected Wealden College of Counselling and Psychotherapy.

• • • • • • Counselling and Psychotherapy for children and adults, individuals and couples At a range of prices to suit all needs.

Wealden Trauma Clinic Our clinic offers TA, EMDR, Mindfulness and Animal Facilitated Therapy for child and adult survivors of abuse, violence and trauma.

Supervision of Counsellors, Psychotherapists, Clinical Psychologists and Supervisors Face to face or by Skype or telephone, for trainees and qualified practitioners.

Foundation Certificate in Transactional Analysis Counselling & Psychotherapy.

Ten weekend modules or 20 fortnightly Monday modules.

Advanced Transactional Analysis Counselling & Psychotherapy (leading to UKCP registration).

Ten weekend modules per year over three years.

Diploma in Humanistic Integrative Counselling 40 days per year for two years – BACP Accredited course Fully recognised EMDR training For accredited Counsellors, Psychotherapists and Psychologists.

Specialist training courses for counsellors and psychotherapists in Trauma Therapy, CBT, Coaching, Working with LGBT Clients, Working with Children and Adolescents, Working with Families, Forensic Counselling and Psychotherapy, Supervision, to name a few. Look at our Short Course Programme for details.

We have a full programme of one and two day short courses and workshops – see our website for details.

If you would like to get further information or arrange to come in for a chat, please contact the head office in Crowborough. You will receive a warm welcome.

• • • • • • Wealden Psychology Institute, 2 Quarry View, Whitehill Road, Crowborough, TN6 1JT

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk Email: info@wealdeninstitute.co.uk Telephone: 01892 655 195

Boarding School Syndrome The Psychological Trauma of the ‘Privileged’ Child

With Professor Joy Schaverien on Saturday 23rd April 2016

Spring-Summer Workshop Programme 2016 Saturday 19th March The Adult Only-Child in Therapy: Exploring the Stereotype Trainer: Dr Bernice Sorensen Saturday 16th April Psychiatric diagnosis – what might this mean for your client and for you?

Trainer: Dr Rachel Freeth rd

Saturday 23 April Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the ‘Privileged’ Child Trainer: Professor Joy Schaverien Saturday 7th May Love and Hate in Couples: The Dynamics of Violence and Reconciliation Trainer: Anna Motz Saturday 21st May Living with Death: Working with Grief and Bereavement Trainer: Lynsey Hotchkies

Saturday 11th June ‘Sturm und Drang’: The Dilemmas of Working Therapeutically with Adolescents Trainer: Rebecca Kirkbride Saturday 25th June A Compassion Focused Therapy Approach to Working with Shame Experiences in Trauma Trainer: Dr Chris Irons Plus two events in July!

Full details of all events on the BTP website

W: BrightonTherapyPartnership.org.uk E: shelley@brightontherapypartnership.org.uk T: Lucy on 07521 651395

Astonishingly good training. Workshop fee includes delicious lunch. Training venues: close to transport links in Portslade and Brighton, East Sussex

ART IN MIND SCAP SEMINAR JUNE 4

PLAY THERAPY SEMINAR WITH SAM TAYLOR Sam will introduce Art in Mind and explain how the organisation and its projects have been developed and how AIM uses Person Centred Art Therapy and Play Therapy, techniques and skills to help aid recovery of people with mental health.

Enjoy trying Person Centred Art therapy exercises and find out more about their clinical and practical applications.

By sharing some of her experience Sam will talk about how Person Centred Art Therapy and Play Therapy has helped her develop her own practice and how these skills may help you.

What: Art in Mind Play Therapy When: June 4, 2016 Where: Brighton Junction Cost:

Members £20, non members £25

Book: Email Seminar Organiser Eileen Palmer at