Winter 2015

SUSSEX COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY NEWS WINTER 2015 www.sussex-counselling.co.uk

PLAY TIME

HOW TOYS CAN HELP

UNPACKING THE SCAP MEMBERSHIP SURVEY

THERAPISTS

NEWS !AND VIEWS, SEMINARS, GRIEF RECOVERY, SUPPORTING REFUGEES, DEATH DOULAS, NLP

Counselling Rooms for Rent 2 newly refurbished rooms for individual, couple & small group work Adjacent Withdean Stadium Free parking Easy access by public transport

£8.00 per hour gillian@gillianrock.co.uk 01273 502736 WINTER 2015 Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP) News is the quarterly newsletter for counsellors and psychotherapists working in and around Sussex who are registered members of SCAP. Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Newsletter is the official journal of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Views expressed in the journal and signed by a writer are the views of the writer and not necessarily those of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy. Publication in this journal does not imply endorsement of the writer’s views. Similarly publication of adverts does not constitute endorsement by Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Contributions are welcome with a £20 book voucher for original material. Please email items for news, diary, feature or review to newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Deadline: 23 January for Spring 2016 issue.

Advertise in SCAP Newsletter Full page inside – £78 Half page – £48 Quarter page – £36 Contact: advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk or visit www.sussex-counselling.co.uk to book online

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INSIDE 4 SCAP Seminars Our full programme 5 SCAP survey You answered and we listened 6 Website makeover see our new-look site 7 Refugee response Counsellors step up 9 Calais Crisis Brighton therapist Rose Allett talks about her experiences in The Jungle 10 Art therapy SCAP seminar 12 Grief Recovery Surviving suicide

WELCOME...

As part of our seminar package we are delighted to offer members only the chance to visit Triangle in Woodingdean, where interview suites have been set up to interview children and young people who are victims of serious sexual crimes or witness to adult serious crime.

This is a fascinating opportunity to learn about the role of therapists and others involved in the process. See details on page 3 and our poster on page 19 for full details and to book.

We also have a forthcoming seminar for members and non members alike on the growing practice of Integral Eye Movement Therapy. See page 3 for full details of this and all other seminars in 2015 and 2016.

As well as members only visits to, for instance Triangle, membership of SCAP offers reductions on all our seminars.

So if you are a member why not pass on the good news and let others know of the benefits of being a member of SCAP good quality, reduced CPD training, support and help from colleagues, free copies of this magazine and much more?

And why not bring along potential new members to our social in Brighton on January 29 when we get together to meet, mingle and share ideas. Details on page 8.

Astrid

15 NLP SCAP Seminar 16 Death doulas A peaceful death 18 Diary 20 Reviews

Rose Allett’s image of the Jungle in Calais. See more at www.sussex-counselling.co.uk and read her report on page 9

Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP) News

Contact Us Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Group PO Box 308, Brighton BN2 0WA Editor: Astrid Stubbs newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Advertising : advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk Membership: membership@sussex-counselling.co.uk Chair: chair@sussex-counselling.co.uk General Enquiries: info@sussex-counselling.co.uk New Counsellors: newcounsellors@sussex-counselling.co.uk Paper Directory: paperdirectory@sussex-counselling.co.uk Secretary: secretary@sussex-counselling.co.uk Finance: finance@sussex-counselling.co.uk Website: website@sussex-counselling.co.uk Web: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk Twitter: @SussexCAP Facebook: www.facebook.com/ SussexCounsellingAndPsychotherapy Printed in the UK www.dpsltd.net

4 Integral eye movement therapy seminar SCAP event will explore how we learned to feel the way we do SCAP’s forthcoming seminars now include a new three hour workshop on Integral Eye Movement Therapy.

The seminar takes place on Saturday 21 November from10am – 1pm in Brighton with trainer Joanna Harper. The cost is a reduced £20 for members and £30 for non-members.

Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) is a developing area of rapid change work that explores the area of undesired emotions and our ways of being.

The process explores the question: How did we learn to feel the way that we do and opens up the possibility of creating the appropriate change in our emotional lives.

By teaching resources and skills inside the problem state, IEMT appears to bring the client more into the present moment and enables them to better stay out of past negative experiences, it is argued.

Practitioners consistently report that IEMT has created change in their clients where

no other approach has worked previously.

Joanna Harper’s seminar will teach the fundamental approach of IEMT as well as encouraging you to practise the techniques in pair or group work.

Venue: Brighton Junction, (five minutes walk from Brighton Station).

On 5 December and repeated on the 30 January 2016, we are invited to a seminar at Triangle in Woodingdean, where we will be visiting the interview suites thoughtfully designed for interviewing children and young people who are victims of serious sexual crimes or witness to adult sexual crimes or murder.

Triangle director Ruth Marchant will lead the seminar in which participants learn useful interview techniques; will hear of harrowing case studies as well as the role of intermediaries, therapists and police in bringing abusers and murderers to justice.

Visitors will have the opportunity to explore the

Participants will learn useful interview techniques; will hear of harrowing case studies as well as the role of intermediaries, therapists and police in bringing abusers and murderers to justice.

interview rooms, observe and test the sound and film systems and ask questions of the experts who work there.

There will be some pair work to try specialist interviewing methods which allow children as young as two years old to be used as witnesses in a court of law.

“This is a rare opportunity for us all,” commented SCAP Seminar Organiser Eileen Palmer.

SCAP seminars booked for 2016 include an event on IT for your practice with Astrid Stubbs, Editor of this, the SCAP magazine, and Chris Barker, who has experience of setting up Facebook accounts for third sector organisations.

They will hold a hands-on session, helping you get your business organised on Twitter and/or Facebook as well as discussing free software options available for setting up a website for your practice.

The event takes place on 5 March - please see our next issue for full details.

On June 4 SCAP is running a seminar on play therapy and on 25 June, 2016, a forum on end-of-life counselling.

Full details to follow.

For more information and to sign up to seminars above please contact SCAP Seminar Organiser Eileen Palmer at email: eileen.palmer@ntlworld.com

SCAP NEWS

Community and learning are the key to SCAP membership SCAP’s David Mugridge has analysed our members’ survey Being part of a professional community and having the opportunity for continuing professional development are the major reasons for being a member of SCAP, our comprehensive membership survey has revealed.

SCAP’s new committee organised the survey in September with just over half of you getting in touch with your ideas (52%).

The survey’s aim was twofold: a) to directly tap into your views and use this to guide our work b) to find out what our USP is and how to grow the membership.

The first question on what is most important to you showed that there are many factors but being part of a professional community scored the highest (76% extremely/very important) suggesting that real ‘association’ and ‘belonging’ is of great importance to you.

Obtaining CPD came second. This is significant because the CPD market is competitive and suggests that you want CPD to remain a key part of Sussex Counselling strategy. Some 80% of replies liked half day CPD. Several replies asked for CPD dates to be identified even further into the future (something our new seminar organiser Eileen Palmer is already establishing). And 71% of replies said they

would welcome more CPD opportunities and dates.

CPD opportunities have historically been largely Brighton-based and the committee is now looking at extending this into other Sussex locations.

We also asked how adequately SCAP is meeting your professional needs and overall across all of the areas such as CPD, networking, articles etc the survey showed we are doing a good job with four out of the five areas scoring 70% and more.

potential of making joining for new members part way through the year easier. There remains strong interest in cheque payments too (60%).

In our next issue we’ll address survey results on what more Sussex Counselling can do for you, including newsletters, networking, special interest groups as well as how we can better support trainee counsellors and new members.

In addition we’ll look at how easy you find it to get in

On what is most important to you being part of a professional community scored the highest suggesting that real ‘association’ and ‘belonging’ is of great importance to you It also showed we could do more to promote networking and support, including calls for email newsletters between quarterly magazines, special interest groups etc. The separate desire for socialising repeatedly comes up as significant for members too.

The survey looked at ease of access of the website so you’ll be pleased to hear the site has just had a facelift please do take a look at www.sussexcounselling.co.uk We also canvassed opinion on different payment methods with 71% of responses liking direct debit - an area we are looking into. Monthly payment also has the

touch with us and your feedback on the paper directory as well as the web directory.

“Thank you so much for your participation. It is our every wish to link our future work directly to your needs so please do keep us posted on what you need,” commented David Mugridge, Membership Secretary.

It’s not too late to have your say - the poll can still be accessed from David at davidmugridge2121@gmail. com and your responses will be fed to our overall survey.

For a complete copy of the survey and results see our website at www.sussexcounselling.co.uk

6

SCAP website enjoys a makeover Our website at www.sussexcounselling has been revamped with a new userfriendly interface, easier to navigate buttons and clearer and easier access to placing an ad, joining or renewing membership and finding out what is happening in terms of

training, seminars and other news.

The site also has easy access buttons to our busy Facebook and Twitter accounts, which help keep you in the picture with all that’s happening in the world of counselling in Sussex between issues of this magazine.

We hope you like the new look and welcome your thoughts, suggestions and views on what we can do to ensure it continues to be a vital tool to aid and support you in your practice.

Checkout the new-look site today at www.sussexcounselling.co.uk and let us know what you think.

Partnership for youth across West Sussex West Sussex County Council has awarded YMCA Downslink Group/Dialogue Therapeutic Services and Xenzone/Kooth.com a three year contract to deliver a blended counselling service across West Sussex for children and young people aged 11-18. This will include face-to-face counselling, which will be available within all the Find it Out Shops in West Sussex and within community settings such as libraries, leisure centres etc.

The online counselling service will be extended to cover the whole county and will be available to all children and young people.

“We are delighted to inform you that we have increased the counselling provision in West Sussex by 109% to ensure that all children and young people across the county are able to access these services.

Furthermore, in the near future, to ensure that those CYP living in more rural areas can access these services, YMCA Downslink will be working with the Youth Emotional Support Service to ensure services are delivered in mobile/rural pop-ups, which could include libraries, cafes, leisure centres etc,” said Becca Randell, Commissioner of Children’s Services.

Eastbourne dialogue Mind Body Dialogue, a service delivering approaches to foster psychological and physical wellbeing, has opened a new facility in Eastbourne.

The service, founded by Helen Carter, a humanistic therapeutic counsellor, coach and meditation teacher, is built upon the philosophy that many modern-day complaints are rooted in a ‘mind-body split’. Helen teamed up with Jo Gladwin - a mindfulness-based cognitive therapist trained at the Oxford Mindfulness Centre in 2013. Both have research science backgrounds in the body Helen as an exercise physiologist, Jo as a physiotherapist - which enables them to tackle issues such as stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain and movement disorders from the whole body perspective.

The decision to open the new Centre in Eastbourne was taken to enhance the range of services offered for individuals and groups. www.mindbodydialogue .com or contact info@mindbodydialogue. com for further information on courses and enrolment.

NEWS & VIEWS

Counsellors respond to refugee crisis Increased recognition of displacement on health Local therapists have been responding with time and fundraising to the refugee and migrant crisis.

Leilani Mitchell, Director of The Link Centre in Sussex, is collecting donations for goods and money. “If anyone has any weather proof/warm clothes, boots, hats, gloves, sleeping bags, tents, wind up torches or anything you think would be useful when living outside in the winter, I would welcome them and will make sure they are delivered to those in need,” she says.

She has also set up a page for donations at https:// www.gofundme.com/ px6ndkds. “I am spending the money on goods that go directly to where they are needed and I am thinking about funding some people who want to volunteer but don’t have the funds.”

She has also set up www.facebook.com/ TransactionalAnalystsRefug eeResponse to offer free virtual emotional support to volunteers working face-toface with the refugees.

You can also friend her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ leilanimitchell.linkcentre for more information or email her at leilani@thelinkcentre.co.uk.

Responding to harrowing news reports about the hundreds of thousands of refugees fleeing civil war in Syria BACP says that there is

increased recognition of displacement on mental health.

Andrew Reeves, Chair of BACP, says: “Our profession has a rich history of working with people who have suffered severe loss, displacement and emotional trauma. As an association, we value and support the remarkable work our members do to improve the lives of disadvantaged people and communities both in the UK and overseas.

People in the UK are already making a difference to the lives of those affected by the crisis in Syria by joining the Citizens UK resettlement campaign www.citizensuk.org/ resettlement_campaign_loca l_organising_guide; or see https://secure.avaaz.org/en/ uk_refugees_volunteers_faq These proactive online communities allow counsellors to join with other volunteers from a wide range of professions. Contributors can donate time and resources through voluntary activities, community work and national action.

Brighton therapist Rose Allett is a volunteer at The Jungle camp near Calais.

Her report makes harrowing reading. See it on page 15 and see her photos online at www.sussexcounselling.co.uk.

Crowd control Make the Hajj safer by better understanding crowd psychology, says Anne Templeton, PhD candidate in psychology, and Dr John Drury, Reader in Social Psychology at the University of Sussex.

The crowd crush at the annual Hajj pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia claimed the lives of more than 700 people this year.

Organisers plan for the safety of crowd events such as the Hajj by using computer simulations to model large groups of people.

But the duo say simulations also need to take into account the social identity approach, which suggests a distinction between physical crowds (where people are simply in one place) and psychological crowds (where people in a physical crowd share a common selfdefinition – a social identity).

Read the full article at https:// theconversation.com/ heres-how-to-makethe-hajj-safer-bybetter-understandingcrowdpsychology-48128

CALAIS CRISIS

Trauma without borders in the Calais camp Counsellor Rose Allett travelled to France to volunteer at The Jungle.

She describes the trauma suffered by those in search of a better life “Thank you, my sister,” said the man from Sudan, and he touched my cheek as I handed him a blanket from the back of our truck. Like the 500 or so men who’d stood before him, as he got to the front of the line I’d greeted him with a smile and a handshake, and thanked him for waiting patiently. It was raining and we stood in a muddy clearing surrounded by tents and tarpaulins on all sides. He took his blanket and moved away.

Welcome to The Jungle, the camp in Calais currently housing over 5,000 refugees, our neighbours just a few miles over the water. Over a hundred people arrive each day, many without a tent, blanket or shoes. Several people wear flip flops, and the temperature is dropping fast.

There is no sign of any established organisation. All aid is provided by volunteers who have given up their jobs, or in my case just their weekend, to sort through donations, co-ordinate mass distributions, build shelters, or provide medical, dental or

therapy care. There can be little doubt that PTSD and trauma, caused by their journey alone, let alone memories of the life they left behind, are rife.

Volunteers have created a theatre space and a library, and the refugees are setting up cafés, shops, mosques, a church, even a nightclub.

They don’t want to get too comfortable (this is a stopover, not a home) but the human spirit endures and community is everything here.

People have travelled from Sudan, Eritrea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria. I’d heard the camp had segregated into separate areas and asked if there was any tension between the different nationalities. The answer was unanimous: “We are all brothers and sisters here.”

Our blankets were running low, and there were still over 100 men in the line, and a few women. A few minutes later I had to call out: “That’s it for today, I’m sorry, they’re finished.” Blankets this time, hoodies earlier and over the weekend, we distributed food

Get involved Visit www.calaidipedia.co.uk or join the Facebook group Calais – People to People Solidarity. Brighton-based Hummingbird Project (www.facebook.com/Hummingbirduk) recently opened a centre in the camp to provide medical care and legal advice, and in November 2015 they plan to add a space offering specialist trauma support and creative projects.

Contact them directly if you want to help, or donate at www.chuffed.org/project/thehummingbirdprojectbrighton.

parcels, sleeping bags and water, and there was never enough. Every time, I found their responses extraordinary: a proud shrug of the shoulders, a grateful smile, a look to the heavens, “maybe tomorrow, Insha’Allah”.

And yet these people are desperate. I spoke with many about their journeys: lorries, buses, on foot, the boat to Europe (two friends told me that 26 people had died on their crossing) – all this they said was ‘the easy bit’. The hard bit was the remaining few miles into the UK. Hundreds attempt to cross each night: (How? ‘jump, jump’), and failed attempts were evident all around: fresh barbed wire cuts, twisted ankles, broken limbs.

Ali, just 17-years-old, knew a man that had made it through a few days before. He also knew people who’d died on the tracks. “I die in Africa, I die in France, what’s the difference? I have to try,” he said. “In England, the people are kind, the people are like you. Here, the police gas us.

The people in England care.

Yes? What do they say about us, in England?” And what could I say?

Rose Allett is a counsellor at the Young People’s Centre and RISE, both in Brighton, as well as coordinating the Safe Space project for YMCA DownsLink Group.

To see images Rose took on her visit please see our website.

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Integrative Arts therapy SCAP’s Eileen Palmer gets playful during a workshop with serious intent on integrative arts therapy The room at Community Base was very large, a good thing, as our workshop leader Sally Meyer had placed interesting artistic items all around. There was a section of the room full of hundreds of colourful postcards, a table laden with crayons, pastels and paper, several tables full of small dolls, figures and animals, sand trays, toy cars, and books. The group dynamic was immediately one o f i n t e r e s t , e n e rg y a n d creativity.

Sally asked us to go to the toy and animal tables and choose one or more figures that elicited an emotional response in us. The speed at which we all dashed to the tables was testament to our interest and engagement in this first exercise. Some of us were laughing, others more serious as we chose our special figures.

Next Sally asked us to introduce ourselves to the group and explain our reasons for choosing our particular toy.

As we began introducing ourselves in this way the atmosphere in the room changed from anticipation to one of unspoken care and support for each other, a recognition of our willingness to show our vulnerabilities in front of practitioners we had not met before. For example, my toy was a tortoise and I

spoke of the time a fox savaged my much-loved real tortoise, how distraught I was, and how relieved I felt when he recovered from the attack.

I mentioned how a tortoise, with its hard outer shell, and soft vulnerable inner centre could be a metaphor for how I was feeling that morning. In the same way all of us had transferred our feelings onto the toy we’d chosen, and in talking about the toy, not ourselves we’d been able to access our feelings and open up much faster than without it.

After a short discussion on how we could incorporate such an exercise into our own work with clients Sally asked us to think about who we are and how we’re feeling about our sense of identity.

Then we were to take a piece of paper and some crayons and pastels and draw this. We had around ten minutes to do this before talking in pairs about our pictures.

After a while we could, if we wished, share our thoughts and feelings about our creations with the whole group. Just like the toy figures, this exercise released some strong emotions in some of us, and provided much to talk about for all of us.

Sally explained how such pictures are very precious to our creative selves and when

working in this way with clients we must always respect the picture, we must not judge it or assume we know what the client has drawn. We can ask questions about the colour, the shapes and the intentions. We must never touch the picture unless we’re invited to because this can feel like a violation to a client.

When drawing how you’re feeling you actually feel that way very deeply and all those feelings are transferred onto the paper.

The discussion after this exercise was lengthy and at times intense. We could have continued for longer, but we needed a break.

Sally encouraged us to play in the sand trays during the break, to enjoy ourselves and have fun.

The second half of the morning focussed on the postcards intriguingly scattered around the floor.

Sally’s intention was to show us how photographs or paintings or images could also evoke emotional responses within us; this time related to what we liked and made us happy.

We could appreciate the transference and projection of parts of ourselves into the postcards we chose.

For some, the curve of a shape or the straight edges of a line represented elements of

SCAP SEMINAR

Using toys to express feelings A major goal is to enable clients to regulate their emotions, and be able to live inside themselves.

their thoughts, their wishes or hopes.

For some of us we were surprised by our unconscious choice of images, and only in talking about the images did we realise the reasons for choosing them.

Again, we were charmed by the simplicity of such an activity and the power within it to enable us, and clients, to open up and reveal themselves.

The final theme of the morning involved our physical bodies, the use of them in creative therapeutic work.

Sally and myself explained a little about how physical movements can cause neurological changes that improve our moods, then we encouraged the whole group to have a go at some of these movements.

We continued to enjoy a carnival of activities, ranging from using our voices to create different moods, to

standing in different positions, to acting as if we were staking our claim on a peace of land and shouting about it.

Sounds a little bizarre, but you had to be there, and it does work! We all cheered up and even fell about giggling at this point.

An excellent way to end an interesting and informative morning of therapeutic creative arts training.

Sally Meyer worked at Dialogue Counselling Services for several years and in the Neonatal Unit at Sussex County Hospital, working with mothers who had lost their babies.

In addition she lectured at the Institute For Arts in Therapy and Education in London, the establishment where she’d originally trained.

Having a sense of power greater than themselves can be a real asset: this can be through mindfulness, meditation, or a deep connection with nature.

Sally changed the style of exercise, asking us to choose a toy figure that represented someone we’d had difficulty with in the past.

We took the role of practitioner and supervisor.

The tone of the room changed as we grappled with our inner uncertainties and self criticisms, the toys in our hands turned over and over, waved about, put down, even given to our ‘supervisor’ to look after.

However, we’d all found a new way of expressing difficult feelings about ourselves and another.

This more serious approach encouraged us to consider the use of metaphor when working with our supervisors as a means of gaining different perspectives should we feel stuck with a particular client.

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Helping survivors escape the carousel of grief SCAP’s Eileen Palmer talks to those helping people left by suicide In 2013 6,233 suicides were registered in the UK, with a rate of 11.9 per 100,000 for men and 5.1 per 100,000 for women. Suicide is on the increase, markedly for men aged 45 – 59.

Managing the aftermath of these harrowing statistics can be a struggle for family, friends and helpers alike. The familiarity of J William Worden’s four stages of mourning, or Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief provide secure frameworks from which to facilitate those suffering the anguish of losing someone.

The grieving person eventually finds ‘an enduring connection with the deceased person while embarking on a new life’. Friends and family are relieved, the grieving person no longer suffers, the circle of life continues.

However, suicide grief can be so impenetrable, loss so incomprehensible that no consolation can be found and the questionable ‘straight line’ stages of mourning become a carousel of emotional agony sometimes known as complex grief.

Grief after suicide is one of the key factors for suffering complex grief and with it the misunderstandings or confusion of friends and family who expected the usual two-year grieving process described by Worden or Kubler-Ross.

Carole Henderson of Grief Recovery Method runs workshops near Gatwick, one-to-one courses and distance courses for people trying to combat the pain of loss through confronting their grief.

“You can’t compare the loss of one person to another but the reaction of others towards those suffering after suicide can cause them deeper distress,” she says. Carole explains how clients talked of people expecting them to get better and become the same as before the loss. “That will never happen,” she says; “and we don’t ever use the term ‘committed suicide’ as that in itself is a judgement.” Carole explains how most suicide losses involve people trying to make sense of the death, replaying the last events leading up to the death for clues to help resolve unanswerable questions.

People can constantly ruminate with thoughts of how they may have been able to prevent the death if only they had said something different or behaved in a different manner. These thoughts can dominate and become an obsessive problem

in addition to grief. The person is unable to concentrate or listen to others as they are stuck in a constant state of questioning themselves over the suicide act, whether they could have prevented it in some way.

Suicide loss causes other painful emotions beyond grief such as intransigent rejection, inexorable self blame, indelible shame. A person may feel stigmatised or disgraced and, as such, they cannot relate to others the way they did before the death.

For many people, suicide loss causes emotional trauma, PTSD, a serious complication requiring specific treatment.

The effect of PTSD for suicide sufferers is such that they endure unwelcome inner visual pictures of the moment of death, images of the dead person after the act, regardless of whether or not they actually saw these images.

Many suicides are violent, involving interviews by police straight after the event, which inevitably causes deeper distress. The severity of such trauma can lead to depression and suicidal ideation. In fact, thoughts of suicide are

Suicide grief can be so impenetrable, loss so incomprehensible that no consolation can be found and the ‘straight line’ stages of mourning become a carousel of emotional agony sometimes known as complex grief.

GRIEF RECOVERY

common in those dealing with suicide loss.

People grapple with feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness towards the deceased person, and often towards everything in the world. Not only are their memories of time spent with the lost loved one tarnished forever, their future hopes and plans are dashed.

Nothing will ever be the same for them.

It seems that the increasing use of assisted suicide and euthanasia can also result in similar feelings for family and friends, regardless of the fact they were aware a loved one planned to end their life.

The Life Resources Charitable Trust in New Zealand questions some aspects of assisted dying, outlining controversy related to the reasons people chose to end their lives. They cite the pain of family and friends who were not in agreement with the decision of the ending of their loved ones life, with one daughter stating; “it was the most horrifying experience I’ve ever been through”. Another person struggled with grief as others didn’t expect her to feel loss because death had been a planned choice.

Family, friends and therapists are often left wondering how to be with the suicide bereaved person, when and how to act with them, what to suggest and what to expect. In the UK

there are agencies to help with this dilemma. The Samaritans are mainly geared to helping those contemplating suicide and providing support and advice to others connected with the suicidal person. Since 1984 the Samaritans have had over 68 million contacts asking for help, and there are over 20,000 volunteers.

For more information www.uk-sobs.org.uk www.samaritans.org/news/ rise-suicides-shows-needwork-together-tackleinequalities www.health.harvard.edu/ blog/suicide-survivors-facegrief-questionschallenges-201408127342 www.samaritans.org/aboutus/our-research/facts-andfigures-about-suicide www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/ articles/PMC3384446/ www.victoriahospice.org/ sites/default/files/imce/ VicHospSuicide.pdf For a full copy of this article with bibliography see our website at www.sussexcounselling.co.uk Eileen Palmer taught in primary, secondary schools and at Portslade Community and Varndean colleges. She is Seminar Organiser for Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

The new normal Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) plays a crucial role supporting people struggling with suicidal loss. A spokesperson explained that SOBS offers more than a support helpline with 585 support groups around the country and a strong emphasis on self help. These groups are open to anyone at any time after the loss.

Sometimes a person can attend for a year, leave and return three years later.

The nearest group leader for Sussex is based in Portsmouth with details on the SOBS website (see details left). The premise is that survivors of bereavement by suicide do not get better, they go through complex stages of grief and life is never again ‘normal.’ The therapeutic work involved is to help a person find a new normal, a different way of being.

The kindest, safest, most helpful therapeutic approach is to be alongside someone, to expect a long, slow journey towards a different way of life. An approach where your constancy, reliability, trust and honesty are the best foundations.

SCAP SEMINAR

Practicing what you teach Joanna Harper on a successful SCAP workshop I was delighted to be invited to run an Introduction to Classical NLP seminar for SCAP members in Brighton in July. As a master practitioner and certified trainer of NLP I am passionate about teaching, learning and sharing information. I have considerable clinical experience and practice from a clinic in Eastbourne.

During the seminar, designed to be interactive and experiential, I introduced NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming/Psychology) and IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) to the group.

There are 18 presuppositions in Classical NLP and the seminar was designed around: ‘You cannot not communicate.’

The exercises and feedback sessions during the seminar gave all the participants an opportunity to both use and experience some of the introductory skills of NLP. Visual and auditory acuity, eye accessing cues, were well received and the group had an interesting and wide range of experiences to feedback after the activities.

I also introduced preferred predicates to enhance listening and communicating by recognising a client’s predicates and matching them.

Non-verbal communication was a topic explored throughout the seminar and

exercises. With an aim to experience deepening rapport techniques to generate a sense of connection with clients; in both one-to-one therapy sessions and group sessions.

We discussed NLP as a modality for change work and the professional bodies in NLP. In the UK the ANLP is an independent organisation who have a strong presence in the industry and a code of high integrity, ethics, professionalism and credibility. I am a professional and trainer member of the ANLP. I also shared some of my personal story with NLP, how I discovered NLP and the positive benefits I have experienced in my own life and health through NLP techniques and trainings.

My trainings, as the workshop participants experienced during the seminar, have a strong clinical experience emphasis. It is my belief that to really know how both NLP and IEMT can help a client make significant, lasting change, these techniques should be experienced personally during the trainings by the trainee practitioners.

Joanna Harper is a trainer in IEMT and a master practitioner and certified trainer of NLP

The eyes have it IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy), is an emerging brief change technique found to be a useful additional tool. I have found it to be useful whilst working with clients who are experiencing complex issues such as (but not limited to) PTSD post traumatic stress disorder, flashbacks, nightmares and phobias. IEMT is different to EMDR. The similarity is only in that eye movements are a key part of the modality.

My quick demonstration at the close of the workshop showed how quickly a change can be experienced and how IEMT can be used content free. This can be particularly useful for working with clients who are unable to express verbally what has happened to them.

IEMT also addresses the five patterns of chronicity and also identity imprints. “How did this person learn to be this way?”

I am offering IEMT Practitioner Certification Trainings, which is a two day training. Case studies and CPD will be required to qualify as a practitioner and maintain practitioner status.

16

The art of dying peacefully SCAP’s Eileen Palmer on death doulas “Son. Everyone dies alone.

That’s what it is. It’s a door.

It’s one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn’t mean you’ve got to be alone before you go through the door.”

Jim Butcher, Dead Beat.

End-of-life doulas, or death doulas as they are also known, provide personalised care, support and comfort to people who are facing death. The use of death doulas in the UK is increasing, looking set to become an expected option for people with terminal diagnosis.

The Journal of Advanced Nursing reveals that medical professions have long recognised the lack of personal holistic care for the dying; “in the first half of the 20th century, society lost sight of the importance of rituals associated with death and dying and of the need for appropriate death education.

Consequently patients and professionals alike found themselves unable to cope with the inevitability of death.” (Volume 27, Issue 6, pages 1127 –1135, 1998) Since the 1990’s end of life nursing care has advanced and improved. Holistic approaches are used and accepted within the NHS wherever possible, and hospices have become highly specialised environments offering medical and palliative treatments to meet the needs of patients. For example, The

Martlets hospice in Hove offers specialist, short-term end-of-life nursing care to people living in Brighton and Hove, Peacehaven and Newhaven. It provides a team of nurses and nursing auxiliaries to care for patients, and their families in the comfort of their own home.

The approach is to meet the individual needs of each patient, promoting quality of life, relieving distress and easing pain. This service is provided seven days a week, every day of the year. In general, all hospices try to ensure patients are not alone when they die, and will offer

US, and in Barcombe, East Sussex in the UK. The director of Living Well, Dying Well, the death doula training school in Barcombe, is Hermione Elliot, who runs three levels of courses plus a volunteer programme, all validated by Crossfields Institute. The courses train doula students to be with the dying person, and their family and community as an informed companion. They learn how to be sensitive to the person’s needs on social, emotional, spiritual and practical levels. They are not counsellors but, naturally, use similar skills and become a

A death doula will also sit with a dying person in a vigil, and they will also help the patient and family prepare for death days and weeks or even longer before they die. They will be there to ease the journey towards death in whatever ways they can. volunteers to sit with the dying for the last hours of their life.

Death doulas take this approach a step further. A death doula will sit with a dying person in a vigil and they will also help the patient and family prepare for death days and weeks or even longer before they die. They will be there to ease the journey towards death in whatever ways they can.

Training courses for qualification as a death doula can be found throughout the

reliable, compassionate presence, using knowledge, experience and understanding.

Their role is to gently maintain the person’s identity, monitor and preserve their quality of well-being, using a fairly non-intrusive, humble approach to providing care and support. They will encourage everyone involved to focus upon the person’s life, not death, to create a sense of peace and harmony.

The concept of death is considered a natural process, one that can be faced with

DEATH DOULAS

feelings of calm. Medical care is accepted and death doulas will actively enable access to treatments and available resources.

Hermione brings her passion about care of the whole person to Living Well Dying We l l , a s s e r t i n g t h e importance of the physical, emotional and spiritual as well as upholding dignity and self-determination of those in the care of a doula.

The role of death doula is undoubtedly one of the most sensitive and delicate positions, requiring advanced levels of perception, compassion and self awareness. Rebecca Green has been a death doula in the Midlands for around twenty years. She is sought after, often doesn’t take payment, and clearly has the ideal combination of qualities to make an excellent doula.

When asked about how she helps people who are frightened of death she explains that she doesn’t offer advice or her own views.

Neither does she try to encourage the person to think death isn’t scary. Instead she goes into the fear with the person as a companion, but without feeling the fear herself. In this way a person can come to better accept death.

Doulas after death After death a doula will remain for the family and friends, if necessary offering support for the grieving in much the same way as for the person just deceased.

Whatever beliefs or religion a family may hold, however they wish to grieve and mourn the loss of their loved one, a death doula will act as a companion on those journeys.

At times, there may also be a need for the doula to actively assist in choosing funeral arrangements and to help with removal of possessions of the dead person.

The type of person drawn to this work is likely to be someone who naturally supports others, retired or ex-nurses, therapists, counsellors, strong yet sensitive individuals, those who have experienced the loss of someone whom they cared for.

It is a role of tremendous importance, one to choose only after much thought and discussion with knowledgeable others who have insight into the required qualities for the job.

More information: www.themartlets.org.uk/hospice-at-home/ index.html www.finalfling.com www.lwdwtraining.uk/about-livingwell-dyingwell/ striking-a-chord www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/04/ death-doulas-helping-people-face-up-to-death www.inelda.org Death and dying in contemporary society: an evaluation of current attitudes and the rituals associated with death and dying and their relevance to recent understandings of health and healing. By Stella Mary O’Gorman BA(Hons) DPSN RGN RMN. Journal of Advanced Nursing Volume 27, Issue 6, pages 1127–1135, June 1998.

18 SATURDAY NOVEMBER 14 Working with transgender and gender diversity. the Wilbury Clinic, Brighton.

Details: www.thewilburyclinic.co.uk /wilbury/CPD.html THURSDAY NOVEMBER 19 Trauma and Recovery. A one day foundation for the introductory certificate in trauma therapy. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21 Unlocking the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. City Coast Centre, Portslade.

Details: www.brightontherapypartn ership.org.uk/events/ SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21 Unlocking the trauma of childhood sexual abuse.

Brighton. Details: www.brightontherapypartn ership.org.uk/events/ unlocking-the-trauma-ofchildhood-sexual-abuse-2/ SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21 Therapeutic Work with severely disturbed children.

A seminar with Dr Anne Alvarez. 9.45am-1pm.

Brighton consulting and training rooms, Clermont Road, Brighton. Details: www.emotionaldevelopmen t.co.uk SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21 Erotic longing and romantic love.1.30-4.30pm. Details: rory@newroadpsychotherapy. com

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 21 Mindful eating - an introduction.

10am-2pm. ÂŁ50. Details: www.mindbodydialogue.com/ workshops-and-classes.html

SATURDAY DECEMBER 5 Unfinished business.

1.30-4.30pm. Details: rory@newroadpsychotherapy. com

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 28 Living an authentic life. With Sandy Gee. 10am-4pm, Community Base, Brighton.

Details: http:// brightonbapca.co.uk/ Sandy-Gee-2015

TUESDAY DECEMBER 8 Time management for counsellors and psychotherapists. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 28 Attachment, separation and loss.

1.30-4.30pm. Details: rory@newroadpsychotherapy. com SATURDAY and SUNDAY 28 and 29 NOVEMBER Introduction to mindfulness and stress reduction. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk SATURDAY DECEMBER 5 Working with the adopted client. 10am-4pm with Carol Jolliffe. Tunbridge Wells.

Details: www.thecounsellingcentre.o rg.uk/news/2015/08/14/cpdworkshops SATURDAY DECEMBER 5 A day of mindfulness.

10am-4pm. Eastbourne.

Details: www.mindbodydialogue.com /workshops-and-classes.html SATURDAY DECEMBER 5 Working with body storylines. City Coast Centre, Portslade. Details: www.brightontherapypartn ership.org.uk/events/

SATURDAY DECEMBER 12 Surrender and renunciation 1.30-4.30pm. Details: rory@newroadpsychotherapy. com MONDAY DECEMBER 14 Understanding resilience and putting it into practice.

Details: www.boingboing.org.uk TUESDAY DECEMBER 15 Co-dependence: an integrative approach to treatment. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk SATURDAY and SUNDAY DECEMBER 19 and 20 Attachment, attachment disorder, trauma and recovery. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk TUESDAY DECEMBER 22 Obsessions and compulsions: a Gestalt approach. Details: www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk SATURDAY JANUARY 23 Fear and communication: Working with and reflecting on risk and young people in a relational context. Details: www.emotionaldevelopmen t.co.uk

DIARY

20

Therapy - a business model The Business of Therapy. How to run a successful private practice - Pauline L. Hodson I was hoping to find a great deal of how-to information on running a private practice and was disappointed in that I didn't find much of that here.

Hodson does give some tips on things such as leaving a lamp on in case your clients might need to wander past and be reassured that you are there but this book doesn't give clear guidance to how to set up the business side of it.

However, I found this book very useful in that each section covers important aspects of the private practice world that need to be acknowledged. I felt that Pauline really understood me (and other practitioners starting private practice) and the anxieties, doubts, lack of experience or knowledge we experience from the practical side of private practice, but also from the business side.

I found the book easy and quick to read, and it left me feeling accompanied in my journey of private practice. I would recommend this book to people in search of clarity in what it means to be in private practice, and what anxieties, issues, and opportunities we might encounter in that journey. KB

Psychoanalysis in the frame Fairbairn and the Object Relations Tradition: Lines of development. Evolution of theory and practice over the Decades - Edited by Graham S. Clarke and David E. Scharff A great book with many essays that tell of the brilliance and importance of Fairbairn for psychoanalytic practice. It opens up the world and mind of Fairbairn, and signposts to both his original works and to the work of other influential authors such as Ferenczi, Winnicott, Bion and Pichon-Riviere to name but a few.

It reinforces the relevance of the frame in psychoanalytic practice and how this frame might vary from theorist to theorist, depending on where the emphasis might be, whether it is intrapsychic or interrelational.

It is not necessary to read this book in chronological order, and each person reading the book can choose what sections might be more relevant at a particular point in their practice.

The sections are clearly divided into historical, clinical, theoretical and applications, giving a great array of writings from a host of expert writers, which all give insight into Fairbairn’s context for writing, and the reasoning behind his theoretical framework, which is widely used, whether we are aware it came from him in the first place or not.

The historical section provides insight into Fairbairn’s religious, philosophical, political background as well as the people and theories that influenced his psychodynamic stance.

The clinical and theoretical sections present relevant theoretical constructs and critiques from a variety of authors.

The applications section brings to light how Fairbairn’s and other psychoanalytic theories can be used in areas such as art and social work, as well as analysing the family and other forms of groupings.

A great aspect of this book is that it doesn’t limit itself to the British school of psychoanalysis, rather it explores the influences of the Latin American writers, which provide a different perspective and way of wording psychoanalytical writing that is valuable to all of us as psychodynamic practitioners. There are other authors from other schools that I found very useful and interesting to read. KB Karin Brauner, MBACP, MBPS is a bilingual counsellor in private practice in Brighton.

REVIEWS

A life of harm - A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara Hanya Yanagihara’s Booker shortlisted A Little Life is an account of the friendship between four classmates who meet at a Massachusetts college, following them through several decades as the ebb and flow of their lives and loves draws them together and teases them apart, set against an affectionately and accurately drawn New York backdrop.

The four are very different; Willem, the handsome wouldbe actor son of dour Scandinavian tenant farmers from Wyoming; Malcolm, the black architect embarrassed by the wealth his affluent, aspirational family affords him; JB, the hip, acerbic, halfHaitian artist, and Jude; quiet, damaged, brilliant and concealing a past of unimaginable trauma that Yanagihara, nonetheless, succeeds in imagining for us in astonishing emotional and psychological depth and vivid, visceral detail.

Jude’s story is the heart of the book, his is ‘The Little Life’, and at times, the acuity of Yanagihara’s vision, as she progressively unfolds the horror of the abuse Jude has encountered, is almost unbearable. She delineates the devastation wrought upon him, and inscribed both metaphorically on his psyche and literally on his wracked frame with an unflinching, compassionate gaze that demonstrates such authentic insight that I couldn’t help but wonder, fearfully, how she'd managed to acquire it.

Jude self-harms to cope with the annihilating weight of his experience and Yanagihara expertly untangles and illuminates the nuances of the myriad ways cutting and burning and starving can be used to release, to express, to punish; she pushes deep into that liminal space where it seems the intolerable pain of trauma can only be mediated, and alleviated, through more pain.

There are grace notes in the book; it as much love story as it is testimony, and there are moments of joy and light where redemption seems possible for Jude, where the love that surrounds him seems to offer the hope of true healing. Ultimately though, Yanagihara is steadfast in describing, with palpable love and regret, the final consequences for Jude of the wounds he has received.

As a therapist, I’ve never read a more accurate and penetrating account of trauma and self-harm. As a reader, I’ve never read a story of love and loss that was deeper or truer. Beautifully written, skilfully structured, rich with complex characterisation, A Little Life is completely devastating and highly recommended. GB Grant Bardsley is a counsellor, trainer and facilitator in West Sussex

An entertaining and advanced education in emotional theory Pixar’s film, Inside Out is a surreal, exhilarating but believable trip inside the mind of 11-year-old, Riley.

The film is smart, witty and thoroughly entertaining. Based on psychologist Robert Plutnik’s Wheel of Emotions theory, the film explores how the mini-characters Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness interact in the head of the little girl in response to events in her life.

I found it an advanced education in emotional theory in the most entertaining way possible!

While it’s more psychedelic scenes left me longing for a calm moment, I would recommend this film to students, counsellors and even clients in search of emotional understanding – or even just a thoroughly enjoyable evening. JI Jan Irwin is a counsellor and supervisor If you’d like to review a book, film or other event for us please get in touch at newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk.

Wealden Psychology Institute Established in Crowborough, East Sussex since 1986

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk For 28 years Wealden Institute has been a centre of excellence for specialized and advanced learning for counsellors, psychotherapist and supervisors, offering courses from beginner to post graduate level, accredited by the BACP and recognized by the UKCP, UKATA, EATA and ITAA. The Institute has many years’ experience in providing the highest levels of practice through our Trauma Clinic, Supervision Service, Forensic Psychology Division and Animal Facilitated Therapy at our organic farm in High Hurstwood. We offer popular and acclaimed training in each of these fields through the highly respected Wealden College of Counselling and Psychotherapy.

• • • • • • Counselling and Psychotherapy for children and adults, individuals and couples At a range of prices to suit all needs.

Wealden Trauma Clinic Our clinic offers TA, EMDR, Mindfulness and Animal Facilitated Therapy for child and adult survivors of abuse, violence and trauma.

Supervision of Counsellors, Psychotherapists, Clinical Psychologists and Supervisors Face to face or by Skype or telephone, for trainees and qualified practitioners.

Foundation Certificate in Transactional Analysis Counselling & Psychotherapy.

Ten weekend modules or 20 fortnightly Monday modules.

Advanced Transactional Analysis Counselling & Psychotherapy (leading to UKCP registration).

Ten weekend modules per year over three years.

Diploma in Humanistic Integrative Counselling 40 days per year for two years – BACP Accredited course Fully recognised EMDR training For accredited Counsellors, Psychotherapists and Psychologists.

Specialist training courses for counsellors and psychotherapists in Trauma Therapy, CBT, Coaching, Working with LGBT Clients, Working with Children and Adolescents, Working with Families, Forensic Counselling and Psychotherapy, Supervision, to name a few. Look at our Short Course Programme for details.

We have a full programme of one and two day short courses and workshops – see our website for details.

If you would like to get further information or arrange to come in for a chat, please contact the head office in Crowborough. You will receive a warm welcome.

• • • • • • Wealden Psychology Institute, 2 Quarry View, Whitehill Road, Crowborough, TN6 1JT

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk Email: info@wealdeninstitute.co.uk Telephone: 01892 655 195

The Disintegrating Self Understanding and Working with Adults with ADHD/Autism

With Dr Phil Mollon on Saturday 27th February 2016

Spring Workshop Programme 2016 Saturday 6th February The Therapeutic Value of Writing Trainer: Robin Shohet Friday 26th February Tight Ropes and Safety Nets: Counselling Suicidal Clients Trainer: Dr Andrew Reeves (BACP Chair) Saturday 27th February The Disintegrating Self: Working with Adults with ADHD and/or Autistic Spectrum Traits Speaker: Dr Phil Mollon

Saturday 16th April Psychiatric diagnosis – what might this mean for your client and for you?

Trainer: Dr Rachel Freeth Saturday 23rd April Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the ‘Privileged’ Child Speaker: Professor Joy Schaverien Full details of all events on the BTP website

W: BrightonTherapyPartnership.org.uk E: shelley@brightontherapypartnership.org.uk T: Lucy on 07521 651395

Saturday 5th March Working with Dissociation Trainer: Miriam Taylor Saturday 19th March The Adult Only-Child in Therapy: Exploring the Stereotype Trainer: Dr Bernice Sorensen

Astonishingly good training. Workshop fee includes delicious lunch. Training venues: close to transport links in Portslade and Brighton, East Sussex

PASS IT ON‌.

JOIN SUSSEX COUNSELLING & & PSYCHOTHERAPY

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Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy is a growing organisation offering practical support and advice for its members in counselling and psychotherapy. Membership entitles you to reductions on our excellent range of CPD workshops and seminars, entry into a counselling directory, access to social events as well as free copies of the quarterly magazine. As a member your voice will also be heard in the shaping and running of SCAP. If you or someone you know would like to join please contact our Membership Secretary at membership@sussex-counselling.co.uk or visit our website at www.susexcounselling.co.uk to sign up today.