The Oh, Otis Shenanigans

The Oh! Otis Shenanigans Episode 14 - Tuck & Roll

by Temple Kinyon

Friday’s basketball matchup was a furious rivalry. The score remained close the entire game. Doris yelled her lungs out with the other cheerleaders, and Gladys blasted the fight song on her trumpet with the pep band. Chuck and Otis hollered with their friends from the bleachers. Deanie, Cletis, and the rest of the team played hard and, thankfully, nailed the victory.

After the final buzzer and before he headed into the locker room, a sweaty Deanie ran over to where Otis and Chuck were moseying behind their parents, Mavis and Marvel, on their way out of the gymnasium. “Hey, Mom and Dad,” he asked when he caught up to them. “Doris, Cletis, Gladys, and I want to steal Chuck and Otis for a little while. We want to take them uptown for a soda to celebrate the big victory.”

Mavis and Marvel exchanged somewhat surprised glances. The older siblings rarely wanted to be seen with the younger siblings in public, especially on a Friday night.

Otis and Chuck stood, stunned at the offer, but kept their lips zipped. They didn’t want to chance saying something wrong to make Deanie rescind his offer.

“Uhh, sure,” Marvel replied. “That sounds like a lot of fun for all of you. How about bringing them home in an hour or two, though. Don’t want them out late. Remember, we’re going to go hunt for a Christmas tree tomorrow, so maybe you don’t need to stay out real late, either.” He winked at his son, knowing Deanie would likely deposit his younger brothers at home at a respectable hour and then go back into town without them until his midnight curfew.

“No problem,” Deanie smiled. “Otis, Chuck, wait right here while I go grab a shower.” He trotted off to the locker room.

Otis and Chuck nodded, still shocked at the turn of events.

Marvel smiled at his two youngest kids. “I guess you’ll need some pocket change to buy a soda.” He handed each son a $10 bill. “Now remember…” he started.

Chuck and Otis jumped in before he could finish, “Yeah, yeah, we know; we don’t have to spend it all tonight.” They giggled as their dad rolled his eyes. It was the same routine anytime Marvel served as the banker.

“Have a good time, boys,” Mavis said. “Be good. No shenanigans.”

“Okay, Mom,” the brothers promised, not really knowing what their older siblings had in store for them, so not really knowing if there was even a chance at stirring up some shenanigans…but they were both hoping for some.

The Swan children converged in the gym parking lot—Otis and Gladys jumped into Deanie’s yellow ’65 Ford Falcon (formerly Otho’s car before he left for the Air Force), and Chuck and Doris joined Cletis in his tan ’68 Rambler Revel station wagon. They serpentined behind dozens of cars headed to Carter’s Main Street Tavern for a celebratory soda. The bar was divided in half, separated by the kitchen. The front half of the establishment was for people younger than 21 years old; the back half was for people 21 and older. Both areas would be packed because of the basketball team’s win, plus it was Friday night.

Deanie and Cletis pulled into the massive parking lot at the center of town, and the Swan siblings disembarked from the two jalopies. They crossed the slick, snowy, somewhat plowed streets and walked into Carter’s behind several other high schoolers and a few adults. The pinball machines circling the walls and the pool table in the middle of the floor were all surrounded by loud and rowdy youngsters. So many people packed in the front part of the tavern; it was standing room only.

The Swans weaved through the crowd, chatting with friends. Otis was in awe that he was part of the revelry, especially without his parents. It was a rare occasion Otis was allowed out with just his siblings. He inspected the noisy mob; parents and kids mixed and mingled, everyone wound up about the victory over the treacherous rival.

A hint of holiday excitement also swirled in the air as bright colored bulbs hung in strings crisscrossing the ceiling above their heads, and sparkly tinsel decorations fringed every table and counter. It made Otis excited for the tree-hunting expedition planned for the next day. Tradition called for the Swan men to seek the perfect trees for Mavis’s and Grandma Helen’s living rooms. Otis wasn’t ever clear on why the females in the family didn’t go, but it had been a tradition for several generations that it was “men only.” Each year, the Swan children were allowed to help decorate both trees if they promised not to fight.

Otis wormed his way between people and bellied up to the counter. He bought his own soda, a Mountain Dew, of course. He slurped on the straw as he watched everyone laugh and chatter. He recognized almost everyone he saw; it was a small-town, after all. He took notice of a boy named Steve talking to Doris and made a note to tease her about it later. Just as he was noisily sucking the last drops of sunshine yellow soda out of the bottom of his cup, Deanie came over. “Okay, Otis, it’s time to go.”

“Awww, Deanie, come on! We’ve only been here for half an hour,” Otis whined.

“I know, but you’re done with your soda, and we have a surprise for you.”

Otis immediately felt apprehension. Nine times out of ten, when one of his siblings said that phrase, it was a trap involving some sort of physical punishment or tomfoolery. He was not in the mood for a purple-nerple or wet willy. “What kind of surprise?” he asked warily.

“You’ll see,” Deanie replied. “It’s no joke; you’re going to love it.”

Otis watched as Deanie tossed his car keys to Doris. She gave him a knowing wink and looked over at Otis, giving him two thumbs up. Otis then took notice of Cletis and Chuck walking ahead of them. He glanced over at Gladys, who smiled and waved as he hesitantly followed his brothers out the door.

What the Sam Hill is going on? The girls are staying here and obviously know what’s going on. Where are Deanie and Cletis taking me and Chuck?

The four boys scooted across the street to the parking lot and piled into Cletis’s Rambler. Chuck sat next to Otis in the back seat. They had a silent conversation. Otis looked at his brother as if to say, “What is going on here?” And Chuck shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “I don’t know, but I’m a little scared.”

Cletis carefully made his way on the somewhat slippery December roads back to the high school gym parking lot, where Otis could see silhouettes of three other cars sitting with their lights off. The engines must have been running, though, because exhaust clouds puffed out from the tailpipes, giving the night an eerie feel. Cletis pulled next to the other cars and turned off his lights but kept the Rambler running with the heat blasting.

Cletis and Deanie got out of the car and indicated Otis and Chuck should, too. Otis still didn’t trust this ominous little meeting in the parking lot. He knew Deanie and Cletis’s three friends standing outside their cars with their younger brothers—Randy with his brother Brian, Ed with his brother Arthur, and Howard with Jason. The younger boys wore a mix of curiosity and anxiety plastered on their faces, much like Otis and Chuck.

“Fellas, you’re here tonight because it’s time for your first of many masculinity tests,” Randy stated formally but sporting a smile. “Deanie, Cletis, Ed, Howard, and I decided you’re all old enough to participate in some of our extra-curricular activities. We decided we would give you an early Christmas present.”

“Gentlemen,” Randy continued, “this chilly evening, with the December moon high and bright, we will initiate you into the super-secret, super-fun HB Club.”

Otis and Chuck looked at each other with alarm. They’d both fallen for Deanie and Cletis’ schemes before. Initiations involving older brothers tended to be serious affairs and not anywhere even close to being fun.

“The HB in the HB Club stands for hooky bobbing,” Deanie explained.

Otis, Chuck, Brian, Arthur, and Jason again shared nervous glances.

Deanie continued, “The five of us older brothers go back a long time. We decided it was time to pass some things down to our younger brothers and concluded the first lesson will be in the sport of hooky bobbing. Now, the first rule of HB Club membership is don’t tell the parents about this because we’ll get into trouble seeing as it could be misconstrued as somewhat dangerous.”

Otis gulped hard.

“Let us first demonstrate the fine art and stylings of hooky bobbing so you get the idea,” Cletis said as he got into his Rambler, slammed the door, and rolled down his window. Deanie, Randy, Ed, and Howard walked behind the vehicle, situated themselves in a squatting position, and grabbed onto the bumper.

“Observe the placement of the feet,” Ed pointed to the eight feet facing forward, parallel, flat on the sheet of icy snow coating the parking lot. “This is key for proper and successful take off.”

“Make sure to hang on to the bumper as tightly as you can,” Howard demonstrated with a solid grip. “And lean into the turns a little.”

Cletis looked out his window and shouted back at the foursome, “Are ya ready?”

Randy slapped the back of the car and yelled, “Ready!” signaling Cletis to begin the hooky bobbing demonstration.

Cletis slowly accelerated, pulling the boys as they slid behind the Rambler on the slick, packed snow. Their Converse hightops were perfect “skis” with mostly smooth soles, making sledding behind the car easy.

The five younger boys once more exchanged looks, this time with an air of, “Hey, this just might be fun.”

Cletis gave it a little more gas and hauled the four high schoolers around the parking lot as they held fast to the bumper.

The jocular laughs, light cussing, and minor warnings to “watch for that rock” or “dodge that pothole” filtered into the crisp air. Cletis finally pulled up next to Otis, Chuck, Brian, Arthur, and Jason with a Cheshire Cat grin plastered on his face. “Your turn!”

The older boys stepped away from the bumper, allowing the five younger boys to assume their positions. Otis and Chuck ended up squatting next to each other in the center-bumper area. They gripped the cold metal as if their life depended on it. They looked at each other and giggled, which resulted in all five thrill-seekers bursting into nervous hysterics.

“Boys, you need to focus,” Ed laughed. “You can laugh once you get the hang of it. Remember, safety first!” He couldn’t help but join in the fits of giggles that erupted from the five crouching boys.

“Don’t forget to avoid rocks and asphalt if you can,” Randy instructed. “If your sneaker loses contact with the snow, you’ll most likely go flying. Keep these words in your head: tuck and roll!”

“And be sure to let go if you get scared,” Ed added. “No judgment; you’re a man in our eyes just for attempting to hooky bob; we don’t need anyone getting hurt.”

Cletis leaned out his open window and yelled, “Are you guys ready?”

With sheer exuberance, Otis broadcasted for the bunch, “Let ‘er rip, tater chip!” His excitement over being included in such a secret society made him giddy and confident. I guess we did manage to find the shenanigans, Mom.

Cletis slowly rolled forward. He peered into his side mirror. It was 10 o’clock at night, but he could see well enough with the full moon that if anyone went flying, a dark blur shooting out from behind the Rambler would show up in the reflection. He didn’t want to scare them on their first hooky-bobbing excursion, so he carefully drove the parking lot in a slow circle to start. He gradually gained speed with only the smallest of the youngest brothers, Brian, letting go after three passes—a respectable showing for a kid who only weighed 65 pounds, including his winter boots and coat.

Finally, Cletis got up to a speed he didn’t necessarily consider dangerous per se but would give the four remaining newbies a test of will, skill, and hand strength. Much to his surprise, they held fast. So, doing what any self-respecting older brother would, he spiced things up a little and turned onto a different trajectory.

Otis and Chuck looked at each other again with mixed emotions. Cletis was headed for the back of the school, where there were two large speed bumps breaking up the long, straight stretch of pavement along the entire back of the building. Deanie, Randy, and Howard ran behind the menagerie, shouting instructions.

“Don’t forget the TUCK AND ROLL!”

The Rambler gained a bit more speed, and just before the four pairs of perfectly aligned Converse sneakers hit the incline of the first bump, Deanie shouted, “Go into it like you’re jumping your bike!”

Call it beginners luck or, more likely, the basic instinct to survive, but Otis, Chuck, Jason, and Arthur slightly pushed off as they went up the slope, pulled their feet up as they caught air at the crest of the bump, and stuck the landing on the other side. It was a slippery and awkward landing, but the young boys held that bumper with all their might.

Impressed and somewhat incredulous, Cletis faintly increased his speed, thumped over the second speed bump, and looked in his rearview mirror as the foursome hit the hump. This time their landings didn’t stick. Arthur and Jason jettisoned off in opposite directions, with Deanie, Ed, and Howard running behind, yelling, “Tuck and roll! Tuck and roll!”

Otis and Chuck somehow remained attached to the bumper, even with their feet sliding in every direction. Cletis stopped the Rambler, got out, and stood admiring his two baby brothers. “Otis, Chuck, you impress me. Wanna go again?”

“YES,” the boys immediately shouted.

Cletis climbed back into his car, gently turned around to avoid losing his precious cargo, and gunned it. They weren’t that precious; they were his younger brothers. He bounced over the first speed bump and checked the side mirror. He saw no detaching children, so he gave it just a little more oomph to hit the second speed bump, laughing at what he expected to see in his rearview mirror.

But no dark spots appeared against the glistening white snow. “Son of a…,” breathed Cletis. “They’re still hanging on!” He’d never been a prouder big brother.

He skidded around the corner of the school to the front parking lot, where there was a lot of room and few hazards. He knew this would be the deciding factor. He hit the gas hard, then slammed on his brakes, causing the beast of a car to turn into a wild fishtail. The backend flipped around with enough centrifugal force, not even the Hulk could hang on to that bumper.

Cletis’s eyes shot up to his rearview mirror. Two dark spots popped out from behind him. Otis and Chuck shot off the bumper and orbited into the moonlit air, arms and legs flailing.

Chuck rocketed slightly left, Otis somewhat right. Chuck landed with a thud and spun around three times on the icyOtis’s momentum sent him soaring. He hung suspended high enough in the air that he took a brief glimpse to marvel at the beautiful display of Christmas lights many of the homes in town boasted. His descent sent him speeding toward the massive 18’ pile of towering snow created after the lot had been plowed several times over the past few weeks.

Tuck and roll…

Thankfully, kids were built tough in the ‘70s. He hit precisely at the peak of the pile, which had enough give to slow him down a little. He tucked as he rocketed down the steep slope and rolled a good 30 yards across the parking lot before coming to a glorious stop in front of the flabbergasted HB Club members watching the spectacle.

Otis looked at the group standing tall above him. There was a moment of silence, an unspoken nod of respect.

“I tucked and rolled,” Otis said before bursting out laughing. The rest of the motley crew joined in with raucous jocularity.

“Men, I think we have five new members of the HB Club,” Randy hooted.

The magical moment of wintertime dusk created a wash of purple, pink, and orange across the sky, lighting the sparkling snow into a blaze of color. Marvel stood on one side of the Rambler while Deanie stood on the other. They were just sinching down the Christmas tree for Mavis. Grandpa Ed, Otis, Cletis, and Chuck had just finished tying off Grandma Helen’s tree on the back of Ed’s truck.

“Well, fellas,” Marvel smiled. “Another successful tree-gathering mission complete.” He winked at Ed. “Say, you wanna swing by the high school parking lot?”

“Why I think that sounds like a fine idea,” Ed smirked.

“Why are we going to the high school?” Otis asked.

“Yeah, there’s no games or anything tonight,” Deanie added.

“Precisely,” Ed replied. “It’ll be nice and deserted up there.”

Deanie, Cletis, Chuck, and Otis looked at their elders in bewilderment.

“Guys, come on,” Ed chuckled, “As members of the elite and long-standing HB Club, you ought to know it’s a perfect night and conditions are optimal to do a little hooky bobbing before we go home to decorate the trees.” He paused, taking in the astonished looks on his grandsons’ faces. “Just remember to tuck and roll.”