Mummy Smarts

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64 Mother&Baby may

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convince my 5 year-old that she should wear one dress over another. Sigh. You have to learn to pick your battles, but here are several things I ve learned in the last eight years.

Fail fast, fail often - this is the only way to grow and learn what works and what doesn't.. g. Learn to let go We were cycling at the beach the other-

r. Your child will follow your example I constantly telI my kids not to panic when bad things happen to them, so if I panic, then these are just empty words. Your child will foilow your example, not your advice.

day as we had given Linus and Amelia new bicycles for their birthdays and were testing them out for the first time. Though Linus was off like the wind, Amelia was

still a little unsteady. As it was also Lucas' first tlme on a blke seat, I was a litt]e

-It's important to schedule some'me time'every doy - whenyou can deco,??press and just be you. As Lucas, my youngest, becomes more moblle, he constantly finds himself in precarious situations. I was busy with the older two kids one morning and when I looked up, Lucas was standing on a chair trying to climb onto a movable shel{! Bells and alarms went off in my headl My first instlnct was to shout, "Stop moving!" But l ve been in similar situations many times before to know that if I were to react the way my inner paranoid self would like to, Lucas would panic at my scream and be more 1ikely to fall and break his head. So, I walked over casually (yet quickly), and swooped him up from the chair into a mega-hug in the air before putting him down gently and safely on the floor. My kid never even knew the danger he was in!

z. Don't be afraid to let your child fail I love my children too much to see them get sad and be hurt, so if i could, I would take away all the disappointments, regrets and failures they would ever face in life. Yet, this is what makes life so fascinating and extraordinary. If a person has never failed, wouldn't he take everything for granted? If he has never failed, how can he appreciate the taste of sweet success? How then will he have the drive and hunger to work hard for his passion? We have to teach our

children that failure is okay. What's more important is to get back on our feet and try again when something doesn't work.

apprehensive. I didn't think he would be big enough to fit into it, but it was as if he was free the moment we strapped

him

in. Not only was my little one kicking his legs in gIee, he had his hands up in the air and was grinnlng from ear to ear. I tell you this one is going to be a fan of the ro[ler coaster. As for Amelia, she was having the time of her 1ife, weaving in and out of the other bikes while ringing the bell on her brand-new two-wheeler. So carried away was she, looking everywhere but in front of her, there was many a time when she almost crashed into someone or cycled off the road. Thankfully, she didn't. As I was tailgating, screaming at her to pay attention to the road, my inner calmer self was saying "You have to learn to let go." Of course, our chlldren are going to get hurt one day. Nor can we always be there.to protect them. We just have to raise them to know that no matter what

will aiways be there to meet them with open arms - ready to kiss away every boo-boo, disappointment and heartbreak. happens, we

4. Listen to your child And I mean really lisren. Put awayyour electronic devices, come down to their level and iook in their eyes. It may not matter to you that your child drew a picture of an elephant in school today, or that her best friend today is Jane and not

Faith, since the latter had accidentally stepped on her toe, but these snippets mean the world to her. So, if you do not listen to the little stuff when she is little, she may not te1l you the big stuff when she is in her teens because, to her, all these little things have always been the big stuff. 5. Schedule "me time"! As mothers, we are constantly trying to multitask and accommodate everyone else. I rush around all day

like

a head less chicken, running errands, ferrying the kids and making

sure everybody is taken care of. Once the children get up, there id virtually no "me time" ti1l they are packed off to bed rz hours later. Several months ago, my sister gave me a manicure package as a birthday present, but I have been so busywith everything that I haven't had the chance to use it yet. Finding time to work out is another issue. Other than working out at 6am or gpm, it is almost impossible to carve out time to do so. Yet, it is so important for us mummies to take ourselves seriously. If I am not happy and well rested, I find that my bad temper tends to rub off on the kids. So, if I get antsy, they get antsy. I shout, they scream itt lose-lose for all. It's onlywhen you have a happy mother that-you will have ahappy family.

Therefore, it's important to scheduJe some "me time" every day

-

when you can decompress andjust

be you. When youte not anyonet

mother, daughter or sister - just "me". Find a quiet place to meditate, pick up a favourite read, or enjoy a cup oftea while you dig into that romance novel. Or even take time to journal and be thankful for your family. More importantly, you should give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far in your mummy journey and

take a welLdeserved break. You are worth it! In the meantime, I'm going to pick up the phone and make that appointment for a manicure. Any mummies want to join me? l/B

L 6S Mother&Bab5r may r4


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