birth order hoW Affects Your Child And Your Parenting

By Amanda Merrill, Family & Kids

Did you know that your child’s birth order may influence their personality? There are characteristic traits of the oldest child, middle child, youngest child and the only child that make them one-of-a-kind when it comes to personality. As a parent, recognizing these unique differences can benefit your relationship with your child and their relationship with their siblings.

The Scientific America article, “Does Birth Order Affect Personality” shares that often firstborn children are leaders who commonly choose influential careers and often have a small IQ advantage compared to their siblings. The article suggests that the individual attention firstborns receive early in life may be beneficial to their cognitive abilities throughout life. Characteristically, firstborn children are known to be mature, goal-oriented, independent and confident. As families grow, the firstborn child takes on roles related to parenting as they become little helpers around the house. They often become competitive, a trait that an only child often doesn’t share. Make firstborn children feel valued by spending individual time with them each week and recognize all the little things they do to help with younger siblings.

Parents to firstborn children are new to the job; they create rules as situations arise and document all the ‘firsts’ with unlimited pictures and video recordings. But, as families grow, sharing learning experiences individually with each child becomes increasingly more of a challenge. By the second child, parents tend to be more easygoing with their parenting responsibilities. As a result, middle children tend to be more creative, social and fun. They have never experienced being an only child, but as the youngest child, they get quite a bit of attention and are great negotiators in many families. However, when they become the middle child, it is often a major adjustment. As a result, they may feel left out of the family dynamics and gravitate towards their friendships. Giving them a role in the family is important and will help them build relationships with their siblings. As a parent, spend time with them individually and give them opportunities to feel special.

Usually, by the final child, parents are experienced and have an even more relaxed parenting style. As a result, the youngest child often has a free-spirited and funny personality. The baby of the family is often spoiled by parents as this is their final child. However, first accomplishments of the youngest often go unnoticed. It is important for parents to document moments for that last child with pictures and videos too. As a parent, it is important to give the last child confidence to reach their goals and encourage them to be independent throughout their life.

Over the years, as your family grows, the birth order dynamics will change. As a parent, it is important to be adaptable and teach your children to use their unique personality traits as a gift. This ‘gift’ can be used to encourage their siblings, make new friends and positively influence those around them. While reading together, have older siblings read out loud, encourage middle children to follow along with their finger and younger siblings to snuggle close and listen. Remember, it is the time that you spend together as a family that will impact your kids the most because they will know that they are loved, which is the greatest ‘gift’ you can give them.