Regal Heart Magazine, Issue 2 by Hope N. Jones

DEFILED

SEX ood

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN. All of us will encounter unfavorable experiences throughout our lifetime. There will be times when things won’t go the way we want them to go. Only God Almighty knows what we’ll face and how we’ll overcome because He rules over all and controls our destiny. He’s brought me through one struggle after another. There were times I thought I might not make it, but thank the Lord, I’m still here. With every trouble and triumph, God keeps building my hope, faith, and trust in Him. I know He has never taken His eyes off of me. For that, I am grateful. Because He is always on the lookout for me, my fears are quickly quieted. I find refuge in Him. My heart and mind are at ease and peace. He is also looking out for you. Believe that He has your back, and let Him take care of you.

“The eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the bad and the good.”

Proverbs 15:3 NLV

Hope N. Jones CREATOR & EDITOR IN CHIEF

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

Regal Heart

INSIDE 5 15

Regal Heart Magazine, Issue 2 (December 2016) © 2016 Hope N. Jones for HopeAbound Publishing. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited by all applicable laws. Scripture references in Regal Heart are noted below. Scripture taken from The Voice™. Copyright © 2008 by Ecclesia Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLV are taken from New Life Version. Copyright © 1969 by Christian Literature International. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC), Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Contemporary English Version® Copyright © 1995 American Bible Society. All rights reserved.

BIBLE CONNECTION

Girl Defiled

PERSONAL GROWTH

On Guard

RELATIONSHIPS

Pure Sex

STYLE

She Boots Up

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

GIRL

DEFILED AT 19, I GOT SERIOUS ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. I wanted to learn more about His Word and

decided to read the Bible from beginning to end. I desired to go beyond the Sunday School lessons and other scriptures I had heard, read and learned. As I prayed for understanding and revelation, God showed me the Bible was not just another old history book with legendary characters. The more I read, the harder it was to put it down. Although at times it read like an ancient epic or surreal novel, I eventually came across some of the same issues going on in our present world. The diverse subjects from chapter to chapter shocked me, especially when I got to topics like divorce, prostitution, perversion, and rape. Yes, I said rape. While the newer Bible versions use the word rape, the early Bible versions use defiled, which means “to depress, force, hurt, afflict, mishandle, humble, humiliate, ravish, weaken, deal hardly with” (Strong’s Hebrew 6031). This is the first verse recorded in the Bible to use this word. “Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her.” Genesis 34:1-‐2 AMPC REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

Here we read an account of sexual assault between family members. David had a beautiful daughter named Tamar, who was the sister of Absalom. She was also the half sister of Amnon, who fell in love with her. But Tamar was a virgin, and Amnon could not think of a way to be alone with her. He was so upset about it that he made himself sick. Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, who was the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab always knew how to get what he wanted, and he said to Amnon, “What’s the matter? You’re the king’s son! You shouldn’t have to go around feeling sorry for yourself every morning.” Amnon said, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Jonadab told him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, ask him to send Tamar, so you can watch her cook something for you. Then she can serve you the food.”

So Amnon went to bed and pretended to be sick. When the king came to see him, Amnon said, “Please, ask Tamar to come over. She can make some special bread while I watch, and then she can serve me the bread.” David told Tamar, “Go over to Amnon’s house and fix him some food.” When she got there, he was lying in bed. She mixed the dough, made the loaves, and baked them while he watched. Then she took the bread out of the pan and put it on his plate, but he refused to eat it. Amnon said, “Send the servants out of the house.” After they had gone, he said to Tamar, “Serve the food in my bedroom.” Tamar picked up the bread that she had made and brought it into Amnon’s bedroom. But as she was taking it over to him, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me!” She answered, “No! Please don’t force me! This sort of thing isn’t done in Israel. It’s too disgusting! Think of me. I’ll be disgraced forever! And think of yourself. Everyone in Israel will say you’re nothing but trash! Just ask the king, and he will let you marry me.”

But Amnon would not listen to what she said. He was stronger than she was, so he overpowered her and raped her. Then Amnon hated her even more than he had loved her before. So he told her, “Get up and get out!” She said, “Don’t send me away! That would be worse than what you have already done.” But Amnon would not listen. He called in his servant and said, “Throw this woman out and lock the door!” The servant made her leave, and he locked the door behind her. The king’s unmarried daughters used to wear long robes with sleeves. Tamar tore the robe she was wearing and put ashes on her head. Then she covered her face with her hands and cried loudly as she walked away. 2 Samuel 13:1-‐19 CEV

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

The next account is one of the most heinous in the Bible. The backstory is a man was traveling with his concubine, the label given to a woman who lives with a man who has multiple wives and women. Along the journey, they stopped in a town and rested in the town square because they had no place to stay. An old townsman saw them and invited them to stay with him. Here is what happened. While they were enjoying themselves, a crowd of troublemakers from the town surrounded the house. They began beating at the door and shouting to the old man, “Bring out the man who is staying with you so we can have sex with him.” The old man stepped outside to talk to them. “No, my brothers, don’t do such an evil thing. For this man is a guest in my house, and such a thing would be shameful. Here, take my virgin daughter and this man’s concubine. I will bring them out to you, and you can abuse them and do whatever you like. But don’t do such a shameful thing to this man.” But they wouldn’t listen to him. So the Levite took hold of his concubine and pushed her out the door. The men of the town abused her all night, taking turns raping her until morning. Finally, at dawn they let her go. At daybreak the woman returned to the house where her husband was staying. She collapsed at the door of the house and lay there until it was light. When her husband opened the door to leave, there lay his concubine with her hands on the threshold. He said, “Get up! Let’s go!” But there was no answer. So he put her body on his donkey and took her home. The Levite, the husband of the woman who had been murdered, said…”That night some of the leading citizens of Gibeah surrounded the house, planning to kill me, and they raped my concubine until she was dead.” Judges 19:22-‐27, 20:4a-‐5 NLT

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

JUSTICE FOR GIRL DEFILED

How disturbing these stories are to read. After Dinah’s rape, her attacker tried to sugarcoat his actions with a marriage proposal (Genesis 34:3-‐12). On the contrary, Tamar’s rapist couldn’t stand the sight of her once he got what he wanted (2 Samuel 13:15). The last account details a woman who died after being raped by a group of men. Where was the justice for them? In the cases of Dinah and Tamar, family members of the defiled girls were outraged by the attacks and ultimately killed the rapists in revengeful, well-‐thought out plans. The last woman’s gang rape resulted in a war. At the time of Dinah’s rape, no laws existed regarding sexual attacks. During Tamar’s time, however, God had already given specific commands to Moses and the Israelites against sexual abuse (Leviticus 18, Leviticus 20, Deuteronomy 22:23-‐29). These rules were established to address the corruption among His people. Perversion of all kinds spread throughout the land far and wide. The people of Israel had hardened their hearts toward God. They followed pagan customs, took matters into their own hands, and displeased God in how they lived. The laws regarding sexual perversion ensured the women were protected and the attacker was held accountable. A man couldn’t just sleep with a woman as a sex object and not commit to her. The law required him to marry her. If it were discovered a man had forced himself on a woman, he would face death. Although sexual assault is still a punishable crime, the laws and consequences are very different today. In most countries, the conviction and punishment of a rapist are based on evidence and proof played out in a court of law. Some attackers are prosecuted, but sadly, many go free. And if the defiled or someone on their behalf retaliates against the offender, then depending on the circumstances, the justice system could charge and prosecute them for handling things on their own. The reality is most sexual abuse cases never make it to court. Charges are rarely filed because the majority of victims and offenders live in secrecy.

DEFILED AROUND THE WORLD Here are a few statistics from my country, America, as well as global findings. “Every 2 minutes, an American is sexually assaulted. And every 8 minutes, that victim is a child. Meanwhile, only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison. 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male.” https://www.rainn.org/ “Recent global prevalence figures indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-‐ partner sexual violence in their lifetime. Most of this violence is intimate partner violence. Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner.” http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs239/en/

“11.7 percent of student respondents across 27 universities reported experiencing nonconsensual sexual contact by physical force, threats of physical force, or incapacitation since they enrolled at their university.” http://www.aau.edu/Climate-‐Survey.aspx?id=16525%20

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

WHAT HAPPENS TO A GIRL DEFILED?

I am moved to tears every time I hear about people who have lost their lives to sexual violence. And what about the survivors? Even though sexual abuse is a violation against the physical body, I believe the greatest effect is the indelible impressions on the mind. Thoughts of the tragic experiences linger and swarm around in the brain of the defiled to form despairing views of themselves and everyone around them. Guilt brews in their mind although the perpetrator is to blame for the abuse. The ramifications of sexual abuse can be unrelenting when there is no guidance and assistance to deal with the hurt and healing process. Sexual abuse gives way to shame, disgrace, isolation, confusion, fear, anger, bitterness, mistrust, insecurity, and possibly, physical and mental health problems. The exposure to inappropriate sexual intimacy could eliminate the desire for intimacy or stimulate the abused to become sexually aggressive. A girl defiled could easily fall into a destructive lifestyle of unwise choices, unstable relationships, depression, and addictions. The treacherous pain could even lead to thoughts and acts of self-‐hurt, suicide and homicide. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

“…she screamed, but there was no one to rescue her.” Deuteronomy 22:27 NLT

I WAS DEFILED I was around five years old when I was exposed to inappropriate sexual behavior – namely sexual conversation and touch. Even though I felt deep down something wasn’t right, I tried to make sense of it all mainly because I was with people whom I was supposed to trust. On top of that, they told me the experiences were to be just between us, and I believed them. The secrecy caused me to feel helpless and alone. When I was about nine years old, I saw a television movie about sexual abuse. At that point I thought, “Oh, that’s kind of like what’s happening to me.” I then wondered, “What did I do to make this happen?” I had trouble processing all of my feelings and questions in my head. One thing I knew for sure was I wanted it to stop. From that moment, I tried to avoid being alone with those people and anyone else I thought would try to harm me. My plan worked for a while but then in my early teen years there were a few others who attempted to force me into a sexual predicament. All of these instances made me become extremely careful and watchful of any person who tried to lure or corner me. Still, the theft of my innocence plagued me. Since I hadn’t entered into a personal relationship with the Lord and had very little spiritual understanding, I didn’t know how to pray or seek God’s help. Instead, I mentally blocked out as much I could and developed an introspective, rebellious attitude. I vowed to never again let anyone make me feel helpless and take anything REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

else from me. It was my body and I would give it away on my own terms. I sought desperately to assert control over my life, but in turn, I secretly spiraled out of control. The sensibilities awakened inside of me were hard to put to sleep. The sexual exposure twisted my perspective of love relationships. I often found it difficult to express myself without deploying some of the unsuitable behaviors I had learned as a young girl. I moved from one relationship to another, hurting myself and others in the process. Even after I gave my heart to the Lord at age fourteen, I continued to carry this burden with me, all the way into my marriage. As my husband and I started to raise our daughter, thoughts and feelings of my past came flooding over me. I fought hard to suppress the memories, but they just couldn’t be contained. At times, I felt as if I were in the middle of a horror film. I had trouble sleeping because I would have bad dreams. My husband knew I was deeply wounded and needed help. We decided to seek the counsel of a pastor. He talked and prayed with us about breaking the ties of these hurtful experiences so we could move on to the next phase of our lives according to God’s purpose. He helped me understand I had to stop running away from the situations and acting as if they never happened. He advised us to face everything head on, and if we truly trusted God, we would indeed overcome.

FROM GIRL DEFILED TO GIRL DELIVERED As I committed to seek God’s help and pray fervently about my struggles, I was confident He really cared about my hurts and wanted me to move past them. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I chose to give God power over my thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5). Over time, He completely changed my perception of the abuse. He showed me the offenders had no real power over me. They could only continue to hurt me if I allowed my mind to entertain the awful recollections and give into the misery. Then, my focus shifted to the mentality of the victimizer. I questioned their motives and actions, wondering why they would subject someone to such physical and emotional cruelty. Although none of us will ever fully understand the depraved mind of abusers, I discovered when people hurt others, most likely, they have been hurt before. While that is absolutely no excuse, abusers are fighting their own battle of the mind and need help too. This revelation brought me to find freedom in forgiveness. I forgave every person who had offended me and started to pray for them as well (Luke 6:28, Proverbs 28:13). I forgave myself for offending others. I received God’s forgiveness for how I ignorantly misused my own body. I started to focus on the blessings in my life. I began to see how God had allowed me to live through the terrible circumstances. His deliverance increased my faith and courage. The abuse could have defeated me, but God has turned it around for a bigger purpose (Genesis 50:20). Now, I am able to unabashedly share my story to encourage others.

“All praise goes to God, Father of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. He is the Father of compassion, the God of all comfort. He consoles us as we endure the pain and hardship of life so that we may draw from His comfort and share it with others in their own struggles.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 VOICE 12

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

The fact that this vile issue is in the Bible lets me know God cares what happens to the abused. He is not pleased with violence (Psalm 11:5). If you have been defiled in any way, God wants you to be burdened no longer. Call on Him right now for deliverance (Psalm 140:1, Psalm 18:48, Psalm 22:24). He is ready to rescue and comfort you. He will give you the boldness and confidence to speak up and stop living in silence. He will lead you to the right counsel and resources to help you through the process. He can help repair relationships that were damaged because of the abuse. Rising above the oppression of sexual abuse takes time, but with the Lord by your side, you will prevail. He avenges and brings justice His way in due time (Romans 12:19, Psalm 33:5, Psalm 140:12). “When I needed the Lord, I looked for Him; I called out to Him, and He heard me and responded. He came and rescued me from everything that made me so afraid. Look to Him and shine, so shame will never contort your faces. This poor soul cried, and the Eternal heard me. He rescued me from my troubles. The messenger of the Eternal God surrounds everyone who walks with Him and is always there to protect and rescue us. Taste of His goodness; see how wonderful the Eternal truly is. Anyone who puts trust in Him will be blessed and comforted.” Psalm 34:4-‐8 VOICE “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-‐19 NLT

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

I came across this book several years ago when I was mentoring and praying with a newly married young woman who was seeking to overcome the scars of sexual abuse. The information is enlightening and effective for personal or guided study. – Hope N. Jones

REGAL HEART RECOMMENDS

Learning To Trust Again A Young Woman's Journey of Healing from Sexual Abuse by Christa Sands BOOK SUMMARY “Trust is one of the precious abilities that dies when a child is sexually abused. Christa Sands’ personal testimony of her own dark pit and subsequent struggle back into the light will both amaze and encourage you. In Learning To Trust Again, Sands guides you on an intimate journey to show that with God there can be healing, even from the terrors of abuse. An excellent book for someone you know who struggles with this turmoil.” -‐Discovery House Publishers Click link to read a sample chapter & purchase the book https://dhp.org/0551.html

MORE RESOURCES

Safety & Prevention of Sexual Violence https://www.rainn.org/safety-‐prevention

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

In 2 Timothy 3, the Apostle Paul alerts his young protégé Timothy of the challenging times coming to the earth before Jesus returns. “And know this: in the last days, times will be hard. You see, the world will be filled with narcissistic, money-‐grubbing, pretentious, arrogant, and abusive people. They will rebel against their parents and will be ungrateful, unholy, uncaring, coldhearted, accusing, without restraint, savage, and haters of anything good. Expect them to be treacherous, reckless, swollen with self-‐importance, and given to loving pleasure more than they love God. Even though they may look or act like godly people, they’re not. They deny His power. I tell you: Stay away from the likes of these. They’re snakes slithering into the houses of vulnerable women, women gaudy with sin, to seduce them. These reptiles can capture them because these women are weak and easily swayed by their desires. They seem always to be learning, but they never seem to gain the full measure of the truth.” 2 Timothy 3:1-‐9 VOICE Hold up! Wait a minute! Did Paul just call women vulnerable, sinful, weak and easily persuaded? (And all the women around the world said, “Oh no he didn’t!”) Well, in fact, he did. But before we get all bent out of shape, we have to look deeper. Paul was not trying to offend women by any means. His point was to help Timothy understand the behaviors and personalities of people with evil motives and intentions, particularly godly pretenders.

WE CAN USE THIS WARNING TO HELP US LEARN HOW TO GUARD AGAINST VULNERABILITIES AND BUILD OUR AWARENESS.

Truth is, there are people in the world who will take advantage of you. They’ll do whatever they need to do to get you to do what they want. Paul referred to this type of person as a “slithering snake”. Moreover, there are some who will be like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and others will just act like wolves. So, what can we do to stay on guard?

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

•

• • • •

•

• •

Don't answer or open the door for people you aren't expecting, especially when you’re home alone. Legitimate service companies and personnel making home visits should call ahead to let you know when they’re coming and provide identification when they arrive. Don’t leave the doors and windows of your home or car unlocked. Avoid leaving personal belongings where they can be easily seen through your car windows. Hide them, or better yet, take them with you or make a trip home to unload them when possible. When shopping during the holidays or other special times of the year, consider using a smaller purse with just your essentials (ex. keys, identification, money, cards, phone, and phone charger). Don’t pull into your home garage if feel you’re being followed. If the danger is immediate, drive down your street and blow the horn to alert neighbors. Drive to a police station, fire station, or hospital to alert authorities of the danger and get help. Be watchful when shopping. Go back into the store if you feel you’re being watched or followed. Alert the store management or security of concerning peculiar activity inside or outside of the business establishment. Be cautious of talking or texting on cell phone while walking around public places. You leave yourself open to a surprise attack when you're not paying attention to your surroundings. If a stranger approaches you in a public place, don't let them stop or corner you. Try to keep moving and stay in an area where there are people around. If you’re approached in the parking lot and don’t feel comfortable getting into your car, go back into the store. Alert the management or security. Ask them to escort you to your vehicle. You could even contact your spouse or a loved one to meet you at the location and follow you home. Lookout for anyone sitting in a vehicle people-‐watching. Be extra careful if someone tries to pull alongside you while you’re walking in the parking lot. Use these safety measures in parking garages, stairwells, and elevators particularly if you notice someone or something strange. Don’t get in the habit of rolling the car window down for strangers who come up to your vehicle. Take caution. Help them if you feel led to. If you see they really need help and don’t feel comfortable, let a store representative know or call for emergency assistance on their behalf. Don’t make it a practice to run errands, shop, or exercise alone at night. If you must go, take someone with you. Choose your exercise location carefully. Watch the surroundings or for any person who may be watching or following you. If you listen to music with headphones while exercising, keep the volume at a level that allows you to still hear what is going on around you. Take self-‐defense classes.

The Internet is a revolutionary resource but can lead to danger if you aren’t careful. Practice Internet safety. Be selective about the information you share on social media. Beware of fake profiles, chat rooms, and invitations to meet and hookup. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

I strongly suggest you do not mix alcohol, drugs, and dating. I learned my lesson years ago when I drank something a date had prepared and the next thing I know he was dropping me off at home. I was unharmed, but to this day, I have no recollection of what occurred. Stick to nonalcoholic drinks and beware of drinking anything you have not prepared yourself or observed the preparation. If you have to leave the table or room, think twice about drinking from a beverage you left or get a new drink.

Bars and nightclubs are not the ideal places to get to know someone or find Mr. Right. Alcohol and drugs can give a false sense of confidence, blur the lines of reality, impair judgment, slow reaction time, or possibly cause a loss of consciousness. A person who uses drugs will probably offer them to you. Stay away from hotel rooms and isolated places like houses or apartments as dating locations. Meet in restaurants, coffee houses, teashops, or cafés.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

• • • •

•

Keep your eyes and ears open when you are at social gatherings and leave the scene at the point you sense things getting out of control. Don’t be a bystander and watch others being harmed. Speak up and seek help. Beware of people who act recklessly and have no respect or regard for rules, laws, boundaries, and authorities. These individuals are bound to get in trouble, and you do not want to be around when that happens. Watch out for guys who have temper issues and unpredictable mood swings. They’re easily angered, high-‐strung, quick tempered, or threatening. Signs can be yelling, grabbing, hand raising, fist wagging, hitting or throwing things, and rough housing. If you’re not careful, you’ll become the target. Keep watch of obsessive, possessive, and abusive behaviors. You are not property or a punching bag. Keep an eye out for people who exploit the resources of others. This person will manipulate and deceive whomever they can. If a guy is fine with spending your money, doesn’t ever offer to contribute, lives on your income, can’t keep a job, doesn’t work at all, won’t commit to marriage but is cool with cohabitation, he’s a moocher and a buster. He will use you and anyone else who lets him. Don’t settle. Run fast. Watch out for the guy whose sole interest is sexual activity, sexual conversation, and secluded meeting places. Avoid the guy who doesn’t like to talk on the phone and is just interested in texting and sexting. He is either hiding something or up to something no good. Don’t put up with a guy who sexually harasses you, pressures you in any way, or tries to force you to have sex with him. A real man enjoys getting to know you and having authentic conversations with you. He will be chivalrous and respect you. A real man will not be afraid to be seen with you in public. If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable situation with someone, find a way to leave before things escalate. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, and go call a family member or friend to come get you, if you’re not driving yourself. Have someone on standby to call or text you and say there has been an emergency.

Lord, guard me from the power of wicked people; protect me from cruel people who plan to trip me up. Psalm 140:4 NCV 20

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

MOTHERS, be on guard for children. Don’t send them to places with people you don’t know. You can’t always have your eye on them, especially when they’re at school or start driving. Yet, you need to stay involved and be intentional about watching over them. Let your children know the boundaries for playing outside (your yard only, no playing in the street, don’t leave the block, etc.). Tell them to get permission from you before going into a neighbor’s house. Don’t let your young children stay outside without checking on them. You could sit outside while they play, relax, read a book, or do yard work. A good practice to have with your teen driver is a simple text to say they have arrived and are safe. Have discussions with your children about potential dangers and warning signs. Teach them rules and guidelines for engaging with people. Tell them to make sure they let you know if have uncomfortable, inappropriate or dangerous encounters with a stranger, trusted person, or other authority. Assure them they can come to you any time about anything.

LEADERS WITH ILL INTENTIONS

Society tends to hold people in positions of trust and authority to a high moral standard. Leaders are most times idolized and put on a pedestal. Sad to say, many of them have gotten in trouble for using their power and influence to mislead and abuse others. There is no stereotype, they can be male or female, and victims can be young or old. These corrupt individuals might show special treatment, buy gifts, setup private meetings, or convince a person to do certain things to gain position in the organization. Sexual misconduct and scandal among leaders has become a media priority. When discovered, a leader can face ridicule and demise of their career and relationships. Just because someone holds a leadership position doesn’t make them immune to bad choices, mistakes, and failure. Fact is, they are human just like anyone else with desires, temptations, and will. You should use the same precautions we have discussed when interacting with leaders REGAL HEART Issue m 2 otives. who hMAGAZINE ave w2016 rong

SAFETY + TECHNOLOGY

I grew up during the time of rotary dialing, coil cords, and pay phones. Fast forward to today, the mobile phone has become one of the most powerful devices in history. Features include built-‐in emergency modes and access to mobile applications for personal safety. Here are a few I found in my research.

bSAFE

Share location with designated people, send emergency alerts, and setup fake calls to get out of uncomfortable situations. It comes with an audible alarm. Family and friends must download app and create a profile. Available in Google Play and iTunes.

SafeTrek

Emergency app to alert police when you’re in an unsafe situation by the touch of your thumb and a 4-‐digit code. Available in Google Play & iTunes.

Wearsafe A safety system that works with your cell phone to send alerts to family and friends so they can get you help at once. http://wearsafe.com/ Be sure to check your current mobile phone safety settings for integrated capabilities to send alerts and SOS messages. Visit your mobile app store for available safety applications.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

THESE TIPS ARE A COMBINATION OF MY OWN EXPERIENCES AND MY OBSERVATIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE. I learned valuable lessons as an adolescent about safety. At times, I had to take public transportation or walk the neighborhoods to get from school to home, visit family and friends, go to the store or my part-‐time job. Occasionally, my parents had to work late, and I had to be at home alone. When I was just a teenager, my sister and my brother-‐in-‐law moved to another state and I would fly by myself to visit them. When I went away to college, I didn’t have a car so I walked or took the bus. I had to learn how to handle myself in all kinds of situations. Instead of being afraid, I would recall these words of advice my dad taught me early on. • Remain alert at all times • Be confident and don’t look lost or show fear • Always be polite to people • Say “no, thank you” courteously if offered something This watchful eye and attitude has saved me time after time in uncomfortable or potentially threatening situations. Ultimately, the two most important lessons I learned are:

I immediately pray to God for wisdom in how to best handle all situations and trust in His power to lead and protect me At the moment I sense danger, I do my best to stay calm, react sensibly and take the necessary action to get to safety as quickly as possible There are times when strangers walk up to me and the Lord leads me to talk about His Word and pray for them. I have observed how this response can quickly change the focus of a situation. I have witnessed repeatedly how just the mention of His name diffuses the bad intentions of a person. I have come to find peace and assurance in knowing “God is always ready to help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1 NLT). Moreover, I have come to understand not every stranger who approaches me is trying to hassle, haggle, hustle, or harm me. I have encountered individuals who genuinely needed help. On the contrary, my family has been blessed by strangers who simply wanted to do something nice for us like pay for our dinner at a restaurant, give us a gift card in the grocery store, or pass along an extra ticket or coupon they couldn’t use at an event. I never know whom I will encounter (Hebrews 13:2), but I know that as I listen to God’s voice He will direct me in every circumstance.

KEEP IN MIND Report all suspicious activity to the proper authorities.

Dial 9-‐1-‐1 if you are in danger, have been harmed or witness harmful acts of others.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

Please know it is not my intention to scare you. It is not God’s will that we live in fear or worry either. He desires for us to have wisdom, understanding, and discernment. This list is certainly not comprehensive, but I sure pray it helps you become more aware and take precautions. We do not need to take this issue lightly. People disappear and die everyday due to heinous actions, and I pray for their families. I pray you will think and see differently from now on as you join me in taking a stand for vulnerability and awareness. I pray we will be the exact opposite of the women Paul warned Timothy about.

Daughters of God, I pray we will always be learning and gain the full measure of truth. We must trust God to watch over us and our loved ones. We must trust Him to protect us and deliver us in times of trouble. Then, we should teach our children to do the same. His peace will allow us to stay calm and focused when we are in pressured or dangerous situations. He will show us how to act and react. Above all, God is our supreme safeguard.

Read Psalm 91 and Psalm 121. Write your own prayer for God’s protection.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

Sound judgment will stand

GUARD over you, and understanding will watch over you as the Lord promised. Proverbs 2:11 VOICE

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

IN THE EARLY YEARS OF MY MARRIAGE, I hosted Bible studies in our home with other young wives. Our first book study topic was prayer for our spouses and the second one was about sex. We chose the book Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. Even though I had been married for five years when I started the study, I soon learned I didn’t have the right viewpoint about sex mainly because of my past experiences. By the end of the study, God had totally wiped away all of my misunderstandings, doubts, and fears. He replaced them with a newfound sense of love and commitment to my marriage and intimacy with my husband. I also witnessed transformative testimonies within our group. I believe one of the biggest obstacles and struggles in relationships is the lack of knowing God’s viewpoint on sexual intimacy. Sex is one of God’s greatest gifts. We learn from His Word whom He created it for and why He created it. In Hebrews 13:4, we discover God doesn’t want us to be carefree with sexual intimacy. How does sex stay pure? When it is enjoyed as God designed between a husband and wife. All other sexual unions outside of marriage bring about unstable emotional ties, unrealistic expectations, commitment issues, and so many more physical and psychological issues. Dillow and Pintus address the subject of sexual purity and the importance of waiting in the book Gift-‐Wrapped By God. This book targets single ladies of all ages. I challenge you to take inventory of your outlook on sex and let the voice of God silence all the voices of bad information from your past or present. I am confident that when you seek the scriptures with the help of authors Linda and Lorraine (soon to become your new girlfriends), you will enter into a new season of understanding and freedom. When you gain God’s perspective, you will never see sexual intimacy the same.

Hold marriage in high esteem, all of you, and keep the marriage bed

PURE Hebrews 13:4a VOICE

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

REGAL HEART RECOMMENDS

Intimate Issues 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex Conversations Woman To Woman by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus BOOK SUMMARY “Intimate Issues answers the twenty-‐one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives, as determined by a nationwide poll of over one thousand women. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers–women who you’ll come to know as teachers and friends–Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts’ advise, you’ll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God’s perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love. With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman’s marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God’s design.” -‐WaterBrook Press Click link to read a sample & purchase the book http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/books/40977/inti mate-‐issues-‐by-‐linda-‐dillow-‐and-‐lorraine-‐pintus/

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

REGAL HEART RECOMMENDS

Gift-Wrapped By God Secrect Answers To The Question “Why Wait?” by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus BOOK SUMMARY “Women who have maintained their sexual purity often ask, “Is it really that important for me to wait until I get married?” Meanwhile, single women who have been sexually active mourn the loss of their innocence, wishing they could somehow start again. Women want to protect the purity that is God’s gift to them, and they also long to be loved. This volatile combination makes them vulnerable to temptation. That is why it is vital that women know not only that God wants them to wait, but why God wants them to do so. They need solid reasons, conviction, and a strategy that will prepare them to live out their sexual purity as God intends. Filled with powerful true stories of hope and healing, Gift-‐Wrapped by God provides compelling emotional and spiritual reasons for choosing God’s path of sexual purity, as well as practical help for following it. Whether women have held onto their sexual innocence, have become prematurely sexually active, or have had their purity taken by force, they can express and fulfill their desire to come to their wedding day-‐-‐ and live out every day–-‐sexually pure and whole.” -‐WaterBrook Press Click link to read a sample & purchase the book http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/books/40976/gift-‐ wrapped-‐by-‐god-‐by-‐linda-‐dillow-‐and-‐lorraine-‐pintus/

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

BOOTS WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED TO COVER AND PROTECT THE FEET from landscape variances and weather conditions. They became popular in industrial and military settings for work and safety. The early design of boots “consisted of separate leggings, soles, and uppers worn together to provide greater ankle protection than shoes or sandals” (Wikipedia). Eventually, the separate parts were fused together. Animal skin, hair, and fur were among the first to be used in constructing the footwear. Today, boots come in a multitude of materials, shapes, and heights. Although most people confine boots to the fall and winter seasons, it is now deemed fashionable to wear them any time of the year. They can be worn with pants, dresses, skirts, or shorts. Check out my boot selections and be inspired to find a style that best expresses your personality.

she

BOOTS UP Cover Your Feet In Style

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

“High or low, boots steal the show.”

- Hope N. Jones

For i tem detai ls in my Polyvore set: http://www.polyvore.com/she_boots_up/set?i d=208835355

Styled by Hope N. Jones, MERCHANT GIRL

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

See more at http://mercha ntgirl.po lyvore.com /

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2

I AM PROTECTED Dear God, You operate in ways that exceed all things natural and normal. You are extraordinary in every way. You have kept me from all kinds of harm and danger, even in situations and at times I wasn’t aware of. The fear that once gripped me has been replaced with complete trust and faith in You, my rescuer. I know You are my help and guard over all aspects of my life. You see to it I am not overtaken by circumstances, problems, oppression, or opinion of others. You hide and shelter me from the enemy of my soul. Your angels watch over me. Whatever You allow to happen in my life is for Your great purpose. When You overshadow me, You outweigh everything else by covering me with Your protection, presence, peace, revelation, and promises. Thank You God for being my hedge and shield. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. Love, H

prayer

from the journals of

Taken from my personal journal meditation on Psalm 91 and 121 REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2 December 2, 2016

HOPE

www.regalhearts.com

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2016 Issue 2