Regal Heart Magazine, Issue 3 by Hope N. Jones

A DEVOTIONAL MAGAZINE FOR DAMES & DAMSELS Issue 3

THE INFLUENTIAL LIFE OF

JOURNEY THROUGH

IN THE STILL OF THE

THE RITUAL

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

This issue is dedicated to my mother, Dorothy Marie McCray.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

MY JOURNEY TO

BY THE TIME I WAS TEN YEARS OLD, I HAD CHECKED WIFE AND MOTHER OFF MY LIST of things I wanted to be when I grew up. Why so soon? W ell, I had a front row seat to entirely too much family drama in real life, and all I could see in my future were reruns of the same episodes. Eight years later, I met the man of my dreams, and my viewpoint on marriage and motherhood evolved, as we grew closer. About four years afterward, we got engaged and then we married the next year. Our plan was to wait two years to have children. But within three months of our marriage, we found out I was pregnant. The surprising fact resuscitated the apprehensive feelings that I thought had been laid to rest. I was not ready to be a mother. For goodness’ sake, I was just learning how to be a wife! I spent the majority of my days crying and thinking of all the ways I would fail as a mother. All the while, the family melodrama Princess Hope, age 10 from my past replayed in my mind one scene after the other. At 32 weeks of my pregnancy, my blood pressure spiked and triggered several health complications. The doctor put me on bedrest immediately. During the 35-‐week routine checkup, the doctor found our baby to be in distress and ordered an emergency C-‐section. She told my husband and me to rush over to the hospital so I could be prepped for surgery. I grappled with anxiety, realizing I hadn’t paid attention to the C-‐section videos in Lamaze class since I had planned to have a natural birth. I think the doctor could tell I was a little worried, so she reassured us she would work diligently and quickly to deliver our baby. As I lay on the operating room table, I shed tears while pondering what was going to happen in the next scenes of my life. Mixed emotions of fear and excitement overwhelmed me. I thought, “Will our baby make it? Will I make it?” Then, I prayed to God to see us through. The anticipation escalated, for we hadn’t found out the baby’s gender ahead of time. I wondered how our baby would look and what it would be like to hold our baby for the first time. On top of that, I felt so disconnected from the delivery. Not only was I numb from the anesthesia but also a sterile blue surgery veil blocked our view of what was going on. All we could do was w ait.

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Within about an hour, the doctor announced, “It’s a girl! I felt an unspeakable joy yet the sedation kept me from showing my true feelings. With orders to keep still, I shifted my eyes around to see if I could get a peek of her. I knew they were getting her cleaned and swaddled, but strangely she was not making any sounds. All of a sudden everyone in the operating room stopped talking. I heard whispers and shuffling feet. I couldn’t see or hold her because she had to be rushed for immediate care. The doctor allowed my husband to escort her in his arms (actually I was told he ran, holding on to her for dear life) to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) alongside the nurses. Although I was sedated, my mind raced as the doctor stitched me up. Then, I was moved to recovery. For the first couple days, I was heavily medicated and totally out of it. My husband and family updated me on our baby girl, seeing that she had to stay in NICU and I couldn’t get around yet. A couple more days went by before I was cleared to get out of bed and go visit her. Not stable enough to walk, my husband pushed me in a wheelchair to see our little angel. It seemed like the longest trip ever. All I wanted to do was hold her and let her know her mother was there. As we were pulling up to the unit, my husband told me we had to scrub up and put on protective wear before we could go inside. When we entered the room, the first sight of her was nothing liked I’d imagined it would be. Her little premature, underdeveloped body was surrounded by an incubator. Tubes and wires overlaid her fragile frame. Thank God for the two small openings on the side of the incubator which allowed us to rub her tiny head, hands, and feet. I looked around and saw more babies of all sizes holding on for dear life. Thinking back on the delivery, a shift happened inside of me as I fathomed how different the outcome would have been if one or both of us hadn’t made it through the process. The fears I had about motherhood took a backseat to the deep yearning to take care of her, to be her mother. And I knew the longing was from God. My husband and I dedicated our daughter to the Lord right there while she was fighting for her life. We thanked Him for her and promised we’d do all we could to raise her the w ay He wanted. And we talked to her and prayed over her every time we were with her. Although it became harder and harder to w alk away and leave her there, we continued to trust God. Eleven days from delivery, our daughter was cleared to come home with us. I couldn’t help but to gaze around the room again at the other babies who had to stay. Come to find out many of those babies had been there for several months or longer. I prayed to God for them and their families. Knowing how hard the journey was for us, I felt for all of them. As we carried our little girl to the car, a profound sense of purpose and destiny infused my soul and heart as the Spirit of God sweetly revealed my life was unfolding how God perfectly planned. I asked God to forgive me for thinking I knew better than He did regarding my life plans. Had things gone according to my adaptation, I would have missed out on this precious part of my life. I thanked God for choosing me to share in this amazing miracle and bestowing upon us this w onderful gift. On that day, I clearly understood that motherhood is one of God’s greatest callings. I welcomed the role and was delighted to take on my part. Six years later, we had an exciting delivery of a baby boy (of which I’ll tell you another time). Throughout my motherhood journey, there have been tests and trials. However, it’s been more heartening and rewarding with God as my guide! In view of it all, I couldn’t imagine my life without my children. They are a blessing! I have learned so much from them about life, relationships and, consequently, more about who God has called me to be. I am humbled and honored that God has chosen me to serve as queen to my family. I know I am a better person because of them!

Hope N. Jones CREATOR & EDITOR IN CHIEF 4

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Queen Hope of The Jones II Family

ROYAL family

ton II g n i l r A g n i K

As for

me and my family, we will serve

Princess Christian

the Lord. Joshua 24:15 NLT

Prince Arlington III REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Regal Heart

INSIDE 8 36 40

Regal Heart Magazine, Issue 3 (September 2017) © 2017 Hope N. Jones for HopeAbound Publishing. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited by all applicable laws. Scripture references in Regal Heart are noted below. The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. The Living Bible, TLB, and the The Living Bible logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. The Easy-‐to-‐Read Version (ERV) is an E nglish translation of the Bible by the World Bible Translation Center (WBTC), a subsidiary of Bible League International. Copyright © 2006 by Bible League international. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL READER'S VERSION®.Copyright © 1996, 1998 Biblica. All rights reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of Biblica. Scripture taken from The Voice™. Copyright © 2008 by Ecclesia Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Definition Sources: Apple Dictionary, Dictionary.com, Webster Dictionary

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

BIBLE CONNECTION

Momstrosity: The Mean Mom Syndrome WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Dear Single Mom Journey Through

Barren Land

In the Still of the

The Influential Life of

Mourning RELATIONSHIPS

Verdell Jones Spiritual Motherhood BEAUTY

SKIN CARE The Ritual

But the Lord says,

woman

“Can a forget her baby?

Can she forget the child who came from her body? Isaiah 49:15 ERV

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

thaliah came into the world during a time when God’s people were at odds with one another, and as a result, they were divided into two kingdoms: Israel and Judah. Athaliah was born into royalty. She was the daughter of Ahab, the seventh king of Israel. Ahab was married to Jezebel, and both of them were wicked in every way. Jezebel introduced the idol god Baal to Israel. Athaliah’s grandfather was Omri, the sixth king of Israel, who was corrupt too. Athaliah married into the rival kingdom, Judah, to a young prince named Jehoram, son of Jehoshaphat, king of Judah. Jehoshaphat was deemed a good king until he entered into deals with Athaliah’s father, Ahab. The marriage of Athaliah and Jehoram served as political peace alliance between the two divided kingdoms. Upon King Jehoshaphat’s death, Jehoram learned his father had appointed him to be the next king because he was the oldest son. Jehoram secured his kingship by killing all of his brothers and the other princes of Israel. Athaliah influenced Jehoram to worship Baal, and he became an evil king. Thus, God inflicted him with a deathly disease, and his last days were the worst ever. His enemies invaded his kingdom and took everything of value from his house including all of his sons except the youngest boy and his wife Athaliah. Jehoram’s illness progressed. He died in tremendous pain, uncelebrated and loathed by the people of Judah. Their last surviving son Ahaziah succeeded his father as king of Judah and followed in his father’s detestable ways. Athaliah encouraged her son to follow the counsel of her people, the northern advisers of Israel, rather than his own people in Judah. Like his grandfather and father-‐ in-‐law, Ahaziah teamed up with Ahab’s son, Joram, king of Israel to war against a neighboring king. The plan didn’t go so well. Ahaziah and Joram were eventually pursued and killed by Jehu, the newly anointed king of Israel. Jehu also killed Athaliah’s family. What unspeakable anguish and grief Her Royal Highness must have felt after the deaths of her husband, son, and parents? You would think she spent her days in mourning and sorrow. Instead, Athaliah seized the opportunity to takeover the kingdom of Judah. Just as her husband had done, she secretly devised and followed through with a vicious scheme to murder all of the living heirs to secure her position as the queen ruler of Judah.

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When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she killed all of his children, except for his year-old son Joash. Joash was rescued by his Aunt Jehosheba, who was a sister of King Ahaziah (for she was a daughter of King Jehoram, Ahaziah’s father). She stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children who were waiting to be slain and hid him and his nurse in a storeroom of the Temple. They lived there for six years while Athaliah reigned as

queen.

2 Kings 11:1-3 TLB

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The remaining royal princes were the children of Ahaziah, Athaliah’s son. So yes, Athaliah took the lives of her own grandchildren. But she had no idea one of the boys had been missed in her killing spree, and there was a covert operation in the works to overthrow her at an opportune time. In reality, her plan had been thwarted before it got started. After reigning as queen for six years, Athaliah lost control of the kingdom when her grandson Joash was revealed to the people and crowned king. She was publically and gruesomely killed at the hand of the very people she had once ruled. In the end, Athaliah was the only reigning queen in Old Testament history. The other significant fact is her husband Jehoram was from King David’s lineage and the house of Judah, through which God promised the Messiah was to come. Athaliah set out to annihilate the family line of the house of Judah. Her unscrupulous reign over Judah threatened the throne of David. If Athaliah had succeeded in destroying all the remaining seeds of David’s lineage, the kingdom of Judah would have been open to the complete takeover by her people from the kingdom of Israel. Yet, God vowed not to let that happen because he had great plans for the kingdom of Judah and David’s royal line (2 Kings 8:19). As promised, the Messiah, Jesus Christ, came to the world and fulfilled God’s word to His people. Regardless of her intentions, Athaliah was not able to get over on God and foil His plans. What drove Athaliah to be this way? Bear in mind Athaliah came from a wicked father, mother, and grandfather. Her behavior and personality are no surprise, considering what she witnessed from her upbringing. The wickedness of her parents transferred to her, which in turn, transferred to her husband and her son. Athaliah could have chosen a different way to live, but she stuck with what she knew best. Selfish ambition, idolatry, and ruthlessness were in her blood. Think of what kind of dominating personality she had to have in order to keep her position as ruler for so long. Taking into account she had killed her own grandchildren, who would dare stand in the path of this terrorizing woman determined to do whatever it took to get her way? I am sure her acts stifled the atmosphere with fear and, in many ways, made the people feel insignificant and hopeless about the future. Athaliah was cold-‐hearted, cutthroat, and destructive. Athaliah, Her Royal Lowness, is the epitome of a momstrosity.

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The word momstrosity came to me as I pored over Athaliah’s horrid ways. Momstrosity is a word blend of

mom and monstrosity.

a mother

the state or character of being monstrous; something that is outrageously or offensively wrong

monstrous: • (of a person or an action) inhumanly or outrageously evil or wrong • frightful or hideous, especially in appearance; extremely ugly. • shocking or revolting; outrageous: • deviating grotesquely from the natural or normal form or type.

Here is how I define momstrosity.

Momstrosity:

a mom who who suffers from “the mean mom syndrome”. She is temperamental, cruel, offensive, merciless, displeasing, crude, humiliating, malicious, obnoxious, selfish, frightful, and destructive in her motives, intentions, words, character, ways, or actions. 12

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

CONFESSIONS OF

Momstrosity

Just prior to reading about Athaliah, I had started to take note of my behavior with my children. I noticed certain ways I acted that were unfavorable and unsuitable of a mother. There was a mean streak in me that would rise up at unpredictable moments. I caught myself acting like a mad dog on a short leash, barking at my children and lashing out at them for the smallest things. More often than not, my actions or responses were unwarranted and didn’t fit the situations at hand. Through the angst in their eyes, I could see how my “mean mom” ways were causing them to dislike and avoid me. I thought back on the early days of when I became a mother. I had decided then, “my children will not make the same mistakes I had made.” Therefore, I was hard on our firstborn, Princess Christian, about everything from the time she could crawl. I reacted quickly and strongly to let her know I was not taking any mess. If she did something wrong, even if we weren’t around, she would burst into crocodile tears just thinking about her punishment. When she was in kindergarten, she and a classmate got in trouble for drawing on the carpet with crayon. When we arrived to pick her up, she was wailing as the teacher explained to me what had happened. All of the teachers and parents looked at me like they wanted to report me to child protective services and I hadn’t touched her. And to make matters worse, she hollered all the way to the car. I thought a child should have a level of fear when they do wrong, but I didn’t realize the harmful seeds I was planting in her.

TENDENCIES

I will admit, she was (and still is) the cutest little girl and knows how to use those eyes and sad face to her advantage. She was our “social butterfly, diva princess, and drama queen” all wrapped into one. She always wanted to plead her case and beg for a second chance before being disciplined. She came up with these lavish stories of why she had done what she did and how she would never do it again. Sometimes, we would give her a warning but then other times her actions merited punishment. As our sweet girl grew, her fear turned into lying about things or hiding her wrongdoings from us to keep from getting in trouble. She felt as if she could never make a mistake or disappoint us. We addressed the dishonesty and tried our best to help her understand right from wrong according to the Word of God. We were honest about our own hangups and bad decisions. We also told her she could come to us to talk or ask about anything. After that conversation, I still had bad days where I would flare up at her unnecessarily. Then one day, I thought to myself, I no longer want to be the “mean girl” in my daughter’s life. I started to consciously think about how I should act around her and began to make attitude adjustments. Yet, by this time, the seeds of fear were so deeply rooted that my connection with my daughter had been wounded. She did not receive our “approach the queen and king policy” because deep inside she feared that her head would be chewed off. So, she started relying on other sources for advice. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Recently, my husband and I became concerned about how our daughter was conducting herself in her social circles. When it was time to address the issues with her, we decided not to pounce on her. Instead we tackled the situation head on with the facts, love, and support. We encouraged her to live for God and not us. We encouraged her to take responsibility for her actions and stop hiding things. Instead of my usual blowup, I let her know God is always watching, and He’ll put her in check when necessary. And, He’ll let us know what’s up too. I relinquished my control and gave it to God. I completely trust Him to watch over our daughter and help her make wise decisions. My motherhood chronicles continue with our adventurous son, Prince Arlington III. This boy was tossing balls before he could walk. A few years ago, he decided to do a gymnastics forward roll in his bed, and consequently, put a hole in the sheetrock. I was hot! Sure, this was a major problem, and he deserved punishment. But when I reflect back, I overreacted. I didn’t ask him if he were okay. All I was worried about was the wall. Most recently, he broke a window in his room while playing basketball on a goal we’d installed one year as a birthday gift. He lost his footing and fell into the windowsill. I was in the kitchen at the time. I heard the glass and knew something was wrong. In the most calm voice possible, I yelled out, “Son, are you okay?” Then, he walked into the kitchen and told me what happened. Instead of me getting all crazy, my husband and I dealt with the situation, explained to our son to be more careful, and moved on with our day. Honestly, I was most grateful he was not seriously hurt. The window could be replaced but our son could not. That day, I saw clearly there is a big difference between accidents and mistakes versus recklessness and defiance. 14

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Yes, children can be mischievous and disobedient. Sometimes, they can push our buttons and press the limits. But that doesn’t give us the right to be a momstrosity. I’ve vowed to learn from my mistakes and try each day to be a better mother. I don’t want to be a mean mom. My children didn’t ask to come into this world, and they deserve more from me. In our world news, case after case details the despicable, unthinkable things mothers do to their children and themselves. On the flip side, children are turning against their parents in horrendous ways. To the extreme, unstable mother-‐child relationships have resulted in fatalities. I always think, “What drove them over the edge?” Athaliah’s life displays the ultimate case of motherhood gone wrong. We can all learn from her.

What are the symptoms, characteristics, and behaviors of “the mean mom syndrome”?

1. Sacrifices, disregards, and strikes down anyone and anything that gets in her way. 2. Misuses her power and influence to get what she wants through demands and domination. Her way is the only way. 3. Obsessed with herself -‐ her needs, her desires, her frustrations, her problems. 4. Becomes a terror to children and negatively impacts their lives. Operates on a short fuse, blows her top, and overreacts in most situations. Communicates persistently in demeaning words, yells and screams. 5. Driven by the wrong things. Faith and worship of God are misdirected. Allows things in her life to become like idols, as they take priority over her devotion to God and her family. 6. Has the outward appearance of being in control but inwardly she is spiraling out of control and everything and everyone else around her are too. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Momstrosity

THE

QUESTIONNAIRE

You might think to yourself, “I’m not that bad!” And maybe you aren’t, but how do you avoid reaching this point? And for those of us who know we have a problem, we have to get off our high horse and put down our weapons of mass destruction. It’s time to look closely at how we’re being infected by the mean mom syndrome and see how it’s contaminating our children. Grab your journal and Bible. Be honest with yourself. Write your answers and reflections. Pray continually to God for understanding and direction. Take your time with each question and meditate on the scriptures. Take breaks as needed to refresh. But don’t give up! Before you start, read the scriptures below as a prayer for God to work within you.

God, see what is in my heart. Know what is there. Test me. Know what I’m thinking. Examine me to see if there is an evil bone in me, and guide me down Your path forever. 16

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Psalm 139:23 NIrV, Psalm 139:24 VOICE

SACRIFICES •

Did you have to pause, walk away from, give up, or lose anything because of motherhood? (job, school, relationships, social circles, anything else you valued)

•

Do you resent the birth of your children because you feel motherhood has gotten in the way of your life plans?

•

What are you willing to do to be on top? To rule? To be in control? To takeover?

•

Who or what have you put on the altar of sacrifices in your life to get what you want? (wealth, success, companionship, or anything else that has superseded your obligations and responsibilities to your children)

•

What have those sacrifices cost you?

•

Have you put serving the needs of other people before your family?

Read 1 Samuel 15:22, Jeremiah 22:17, Luke 9:24, James 3:16

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MISUSE OF POWER & INFLUENCE •

Do you use trickery or bribery to influence your children or situations to work in your favor?

•

Do you show favoritism among your children?

•

Are you demanding?

•

Do you dominate or try to control everything and everyone around you?

Read Genesis 28, Leviticus 25:17, Psalm 49:12, Romans 16:18 18

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SELF-‐OBSESSION •

Is your way the “only” way?

•

Do you always have to prove your point?

•

Do you have to have the last word?

•

Are you so focused on your wants that you overlook or ignore the feelings and needs of those around you?

•

Do you constantly seek out ways to get away from children so you can do what you want?

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-‐7, Philippians 2:3-‐4

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TERROR, INTIMIDATION & NEGATIVITY •

What sides of your personality are your kids seeing daily?

•

How do you communicate with them (yelling, screaming, outlandish outbursts, profane language)?

•

Are you always giving your children mean looks?

•

How often do your children see you smile?

•

Do you intimidate your children to get them to follow your orders?

•

Do you provoke or pick fights with your children?

•

Do people leave the room when you enter or find reasons to avoid you?

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

•

Were you raised in a

or killing in your children by

filled with negativity and

your toxic behavior and words?

wickedness?

(dreams, motivation,

What unresolved issues are

talents/gifts, etc.) •

threatening or putting to death

interrupt or corrupt your life

by the way you treat your

and the life of your family?

children?

Are you trying so hard not to you that you’re turning into

•

What kind of leaders are you raising?

•

How will your princes and

them anyway?

princesses reign and rule over

Do you listen to your children

their loved ones when they

and really hear them out?

become kings and queens of

Can they talk to you about

their households?

anything openly without

•

What are you speaking into

What will your negativity drive your children to do?

judgment? •

What future lineages are you

generational lineage to

be like the people who raised

•

What are you stifling, silencing,

dysfunctional environment

you allowing from your

•

What are you stirring up in

their lives -‐-‐ encouragement or

them? (lack of self-‐worth, low

insults?

self-‐esteem, recklessness,

hopelessness, addiction,

suicide, homicide, unhealthy

relationships, negative view of

God)

Read Ephesians 6:4, Ezekiel 34:4,

Proverbs 18:21

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MISDIRECTION •

Are you devoted to the things of God? Do you have total faith in His Word and promises?

•

What are the top priorities in your life?

•

What motivates, influences, and drives you?

•

Are you directing and advising your children in the ways and things of God?

•

Do you find it difficult to get your children to talk and listen to you because they’d rather seek out other sources or people for advice?

Read Colossians 2:8, Ephesians 4:14-‐15

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OUT OF CONTROL •

Do you become easily frustrated or angered?

•

Are your reactions over the top?

•

Are you always in a bad mood? Tired and drained? Depressed?

•

Do you find it easier to let someone else handle your children because you can’t stand the pressure?

•

Do you feel trapped?

•

Do you take out your frustrations on your children?

Read Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 25:28, James 1:19-‐21, Galatians 5:22-‐23

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Okay. Take a moment and breathe. You have taken an in-‐depth look at yourself. Being transparent is the first step to moving in the right direction. What do you do next? Go to God in prayer again. Ask God to forgive you for your mean actions, words, and thoughts. Ask God to help you forgive yourself. Ask God to give you the words to say to your children and prepare their hearts to receive your apology when you ask their forgiveness. Then what? Allow God to show you how to do motherhood His way. 24

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Motherhood

GOD’S WAY

A major hangup for mothers or women considering motherhood is harping on what we have to put on hold or give up, or even, pining for life after our children leave home and stop depending on us. My husband and I decided, before we were married, that I would not work when we had children. A couple of months before our first child was born, I resigned from my job. I dropped out of graduate school too because I didn’t want to get overwhelmed. For me, it was the best decision for our family at that time. Since then, I have dedicated my life to being a full-‐time wife and mother. I try my best to be all they need, but I know I fall short at times. Even still, I love it! I enjoy helping my husband in his industry and our kids learn and grow. I have also been blessed to work on incredible projects, serve at our church, volunteer in the community, and be a mentor. When I look back, I have spent most of my time helping others accomplish their dreams. But it is an honor. I am confident in the position God has given me. Yes, I have dreams and desires in my heart, but I trust God’s timing. Before long, my husband and I will be emptynesters. My main goal right now is to focus on being faithful in all the areas God has called me to during this season and staying healthy for the next season He has prepared for me.

For those of you who work outside the home and care for your families, I tip my hat to you! Each of us has to choose the best path for our families. Every woman’s motherhood journey is distinct, but some things are a constant. Motherhood is a 24-‐hour job. My mother, who worked full-‐time for over thirty years, always said, “Just wait until you get your own!” And oh my, she was right. She was speaking mainly to the hardships mothers face. She knew I didn’t understand and sometimes lacked respect for her position. Again and again, I put undue pressure on her by trying to do things my way. That’s why I’ve gone back to say “I’m sorry” repeatedly, and I make a conscious effort to let her know how much I appreciate her. Sadly, a mother’s daily work often goes unnoticed and without thanks. More times than not, we do what we have to do because our children depend on us. Yes, motherhood can be hard. Yes, we are challenged. Yes, we get frustrated. Yes, we get tired. Some days we might feel like we have no help. But God is the one who created motherhood and in Him we find all we need to guide us through each phase. Being faithful to our position requires our dependence on Him. He can show us how to manage our time and take care of our responsibilities, and in His time, we will fulfill our other God-‐given assignments and dreams.

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As mothers, we are enlisted and entrusted by God to join in the miraculous development of life. Motherhood is one of the most significant positions on earth with, possibly, the greatest effect one life to another. Motherhood is a divine connection that intertwines with every fiber of a woman’s being and her offspring. Motherhood is a high calling, great responsibility, blessing, and privilege. Motherhood is about love, compassion, and consistency. We are to nurture our children, that is, to rear, educate, train, feed, nourish. Seeing the meaning of rearing our children puts it all in perspective: “to put upright, to elevate; build, erect; raise high” (Webster Dictionary). Motherhood is a position not to be taken lightly. Being a momstrosity prohibits our calling and success.

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Motherhood is not a game and neither is our position as queens of our homes. In the game of chess, the queen is recognized as the most powerful game piece. The queen can move in many directions, but the player must be wise in making moves. The queen can capture by taking possession of a square on the chessboard where its enemy is sitting or sacrifice itself or one of its pieces to attain a better strategic place on the board. The queen’s top responsibilities are to protect its pieces from attack by its opponent and to checkmate the opponent’s king. As a mother, you have tremendous power and influence over your family. Your family members are not your enemies so don’t treat them as such. The real enemy, Satan, wants you to lose control and be at war with your family. Yet, God is the only One who can see to it that everything stays in check. Know your power and use it with love, wisdom, caution, and self-‐ control -‐-‐ never manipulation and ill motives. If you only make sacrifices that overlook those around you, then you miss the point. Never make your kids feel you don’t have their best interest at heart. When you make sacrifices to benefit others, you gain a better position and all the advantages of God’s blessings.

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In the card game of Hearts, the Queen of Spades is the card to avoid. It is the same when you play the mean mom card by continuously reacting to your children with irritation, disappointment, criticism, and anger. Kids become frightened by you and distance themselves from you, or they fight you back, attack others, or simply hold it all in. They cringe at the sound of your voice and hate to see you coming, unsure of the wrath to follow. Emotional walls and wedges divide you. You start to have a hard time getting through to them. You can guarantee negative results when your behavior and the atmosphere you create are toxic. 28

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You are the queen of your home, and your family should not see you as someone to be avoided. We set the tone of our home and environment. Do you want to establish chaos or peace? I think it’s safe to say all of us want peace. Work on controlling your reactions. Learn to discipline without rage. Even in frustration and anger, you can show love. When you’re right, you don’t have to prove yourself or come unhinged to get your point across. You want them to know you care for them deeply, but you won’t tolerate disrespect or defiance. Make the rules clear and stay consistent. Be sure the punishment fits the crime. Commend them when they do right.

I have found that children tend to close up when they feel they cannot be open about their problems and mistakes or when there is nonstop criticism and judgment. So don’t fool them with the “I’m perfect” attitude or the “perfect past” hullabaloo. Be honest with them about how you grew up, your past and how you messed up. Teach them the lessons you learned and encourage them to avoid making the same mistakes. You don’t have to carry the wickedness from your past on to the next generation. With God’s help, it can stop with you. Stop putting on your children what was put on you. Think of the negativity you pass onto your children. It is highly contagious. Your unhealthy influence could hinder your child’s ability to function in the world and limit their social skills. The negative impact has the potential to suppress a child’s desire of wanting to ever have kids. A parent is the child’s first leader. Children model what they see starting from infancy. They quickly develop personality, behavior, and mindset all from what they observe. Children are impressionable. Kids are going to learn from you or someone else if you’re too busy to teach them. We cannot teach them everything but we must do all we can to lead, nurture, prepare, and support them. We are the first example of “how to act, how to live, how to love, how to speak, how to…everything”. Our children can potentially become either a worse or better version of us. Some children spend their entire lives doing everything they can to never be like their parents. And if we aren’t careful, we will lead our children to follow our negative past experiences and influences. Athaliah’s parents didn’t worship God, and neither did she. Don’t expect your children to do something you don’t do yourself. “Practice what you preach.” “Live by example”, not by the mottos “Do as I say, not as I do” or “Because I said so”. Be intentional about instructing them in the ways of the Lord. The Word of God is the only sword you should be wielding to influence your children (Ephesians 6:17, Hebrews 4:12).

“How important it is the quality of a mother’s life to the quality of person her child will become!”

– Helen Good Brenneman Meditations for The Expectant Mother

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Girls eventually become women, and they are the God-‐appointed vessel through which the birthing process takes place. Boys become men, and they will eventually have a relationship that could lead to marriage and fatherhood. I believe God gave me a girl as my first child in order to teach me how to become a better woman and mother. My daughter desires to be married and become a mother someday. She will take what she has learned and observed from me into her journey as a wife and mother. My son also wants to be married and start a family. His experiences with me will influence how he deals with his wife and children. Knowing this motivates me to be the best I can for them and their future families. Songwriter and guitarist John Mayer penned a beautiful song called Daughters. I am moved every time I hear it. There is an insightful truth in the lyrics. Mayer reflects on a girl with whom he’s fallen in love only to find out she is damaged by her past and messed up family life. He gives a heart-‐wrenching plea to fathers and mothers to be good to their daughters, in particular, because one day they will enter into love relationships and parenthood. What we do today has a generational impact so let’s commit to put our best foot forward.

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Watch for the interests of your children and nurture their giftings. Help them as they find their purpose and pursue their passions. Pray with them. Research the necessary training to help them develop talents. Don’t speak over them what they “can’t” be successful at. Don’t push them into your vicarious dreams. Don’t you dare stand in the way of your children’s destiny. God won’t allow it. Allow Him to speak to them and lead them in the way He wants them to go. Enjoy your children everyday. The early days seem slow and hard (especially potty training), but once they start growing, it goes by fast. Our children are only with us for a time. Pretty soon they will go on to live their own lives. Don’t spend your time trying to rush them out the house. Enjoy them while you have them. Make time to spend with them, and find creative ways to keep having fun with them no matter how old they are. Motherhood never stops. Most kids are home through their education years. Some leave home earlier than others. Even so, they will always be your children. They will always need you to be their mother even after they gain independence. They should be able to come to you with anything. My husband and I have learned this as adult children. Our parents have been by our sides from the beginning of our relationship. We can talk and share with them. They have been here for us in times of need. Our lives are blessed because of them. If you have adult children and feel the mean mom syndrome has driven a wedge between you and put a strain on your relationship, ask God to give you direction on the steps you need to take to repair the relationship. It is never too late to make things right. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

The consequences for evil against our own are not favorable. We play a dangerous game when we usurp the King of kings by doing things our way. Forcing our way has detrimental consequences. Going against the plans of God’s kingdom and disturbing His natural order of things can never turn out good for us in the end. We can never stop His plans. His purpose will go forth. Using sordid schemes to get our way lasts only for a while. Evil personalities can be tolerated only to a point. God will, sooner or later, uncover the plans of the wicked. This includes exposing any of us who are inflicted with momstrosity, the mean mom syndrome. Children are God’s gift to us (Psalm 127:3). We are to be stewards over them. We must know our role and responsibilities of this God-‐given authority. Being queens of our families does not give us the right to control everything. We are not God. We are not our children’s God or Savior. He is in charge of them and us. We are still his princesses and accountable to Him, our King. We need to remain faithfully submitted to God’s rule. Motherhood is no doubt a high-‐pressure position, but with God, you and your family can withstand and succeed. In order to avoid being a momstrosity, we must be motivated by God’s leading and let Him help us throughout this journey. We all want the best for our children. If you’re married, you and your spouse should stand together with God on how the children will be raised. Children easily pick up on division between parents. Don’t put them in a position to have to choose sides. Your relationship with your children will be in trouble and so will your marriage. If you’re a single mother, your agreement is with God. The choice and willingness to abide by our rules, the laws of the land, and most importantly, live for God is totally up to our children. They will have to live with the consequences of their life decisions, good or bad. We cannot change our children, only God can. They will have to answer to Him. And His wrath is greater than any punishment we dish out. We are never going to do everything right. God is perfect, not us. There will be mistakes, but don’t look within yourself for the fix. Look to God and study how He parents us (Psalm 86:15). He disciplines in love and truth. He is full of compassion and graciousness. He is slow to anger. He is faithful and provides for all of our needs. If you stay true to mothering God’s way, He will take care of the rest. His reward is immeasurable!

And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up. Galatians 6:9 TLB 32

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the Crown of

Motherhood

should be worn with

love, truthfulness, humility, gentleness, grace, and dignity. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Encouragement for Mothers

2 Kings 8 2 Kings 9 2 Kings 11 2 Chronicles 18

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Deuteronomy 7:9 Deuteronomy 4:40 Psalm 112:1-‐2 Psalm 128 Proverbs 6:20-‐22 Proverbs 11:16 Proverbs 14:1

2 Chronicles 20 2 Chronicles 21 2 Chronicles 22 2 Chronicles 23

Proverbs 22:6 Proverbs 31 1 Corinthians 16:14 Ephesians 4:26 Philippians 2:14 James 1:19

Athaliah’s life & family connections

Rules of

Engagement

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILDREN

Put down the bullhorn. Pray! Pray! Pray! Rest, eat, and exercise to keep your body and mind in balance. Think before you say a word or make a move. Ask God to help you speak with wisdom and godly instruction. Stay calm and avoid unnecessary emotion. Stick to the facts. Be clear about your expectations and requirements. Most importantly, let them know how much you love them. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

dear single mom

our journey strikes a chord with me because I was raised by a single mother for most of my childhood and teenage years. I am certain you work just as hard as my mother did to provide for your children. My mom would do whatever it took to make sure my sister and I had everything we needed and more. I was 13 years old when my parents separated for good. My sister had left home already, and it was just my mom and me. I resented the breakup and began to act rebelliously toward my parents. Over the next several years, I watched my mother go through trying times. She had friends and family support, but the majority of the time she suffered within. Time and time again, she pushed through with an unshakable strength, no matter what pressures came against her. Not a day would go by without her saying, “Every day is a new day!” She lived day by day, thanking God for another chance at life and knowing tomorrow wasn’t promised. One valuable lesson she taught me in those tough years was how to write checks and pay bills. Her first goal was to show me where the money was going so I’d realize money wasn’t growing on trees and stop asking for it all the time. She also wanted to teach me to be responsible and know how to take care of business. More and more, she opened up about her life’s struggles, especially how difficult it was for her when her parents separated. She was around 9 years old when it happened, and she remembered every detail. She recounted how her mother toiled to make ends meet. Through the good and bad times, she said they always made it through. My mother grew up in church but saw most ministry leaders during those days abuse their power. These experiences caused her to mistrust church folk and stop going to church regularly. But she still sent me to church with my grandmother. One day I got bold and told her how unfair it was that I had to go to church, but she didn’t. She should have slapped me, but instead she insisted it was what I needed until I developed my own relationship with God.

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Over time, my resentment towards her turned to empathy. The closer I grew to God, the more appreciation I gained for my mother’s sacrifices. I started to pray for her and bless her for all she’d done for me. I knew she was raising me the best she could. I started to trust God to break the generational dysfunction in our family. The dissension between my parents was something only He could fix. And I prayed daily for God to give my mother peace for the rest of her days. Even though it felt like we were alone at times, God revealed He was right there with us the whole time. He was holding my mother up and helping her fulfill the calling as queen of our home. Through her perseverance, I came to see God alone would sustain us, provide for our needs, and take care of us. Today, I want to encourage you to know, without a doubt, God is with you. Therefore, you are not “single” after all. Whether it was a divorce, untimely spouse death, failed relationship, or personal choice, God can see you and your children through it all, as long as you acknowledge Him as head of your life and home. A deep personal relationship with God will sustain you and your children. He has given you authority to reign as queen over your family, not to become an ill-‐advising single mother like Queen Athaliah. Take your children to church and get involved. Study the Bible and pray with them regularly. Because it’s just you and the children, they see and hear almost everything. They see when you’re hurting and sense when you’re trying to hide things from them. Be open and honest about what’s going on with the family. Ask them to pray for you and the family. Set family goals and let them know how they can help out. Give them age appropriate responsibilities. Be careful of the people you bring around your children. If you want to be married, ask God to bring you the man He has for you. Don’t settle for just any man or shack up just for companionship, sex, financial support, or to give your children a father figure. When you step out like this, you will inevitably give up far more than you will gain. Most of all, God is committed to you and your children. You can lean on Him and depend on Him for all things great and small. His heart is for you, your children, and your well-‐ being. Stay in step with Him, and everything will be all right! 38

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Scriptures for Single Moms Exodus 14:14 Psalm 68:5 Proverbs 3:5-‐6 Isaiah 54:5-‐6 Hosea 10:12 Matthew 6 Philippians 4:19 Hebrews 10:24-‐25

children

Start off on the right path. And even when they are old, they will not turn away from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIRV

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Barren

JOURNEY THROUGH

LAND

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od has a distinct way of doing things (Isaiah 55:8). My husband and I saw this clearly in both of our children’s conceptions and births. As I mentioned with the first one, our two-‐year wait plan was quickly changed when, lo and behold, I became pregnant after three months of marriage. Six years later, when we decided to try for our second child, I wasn’t able to get pregnant. The doctor couldn’t explain it. My mind filled with all kinds of thoughts.

What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my husband? Has God closed my womb? Has God forgotten me?

For a while, it seemed as if our world stopped. I was distraught. I thought, “We weren’t even trying the first time, so why now God?” The Holy Spirit led me to the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. Her desperation, prayers, and faith spoke to me in that very moment. I too cried out to the Lord. Most of all, I wanted to trust Him for whatever the outcome would be. Instead of pondering on the “why”, I dwelled on and rested in the “One” who has the final word. I eventually became pregnant again. The waiting was a monumental test of our faith in God.

I believe the desire to have children is from God, but we have to come to a place where we have confidence in God’s ways and His timing in all things. The enemy of your soul, the devil, will try to make you believe you are a failure and try to convince you to accept the “barren” label and become totally unproductive in all areas of life. Instead of letting your mind and heart be bombarded with these rotten lies, be honest with God about your feelings and let Him help you deal with them.

O my people, trust him all the time. Pour out your longings before him, for he can help! Psalm 62:8 TLB The Bible is filled with stories about women who struggled to conceive but then had children. It happened for Sarah (Genesis 21), Rebekah (Genesis 25:21), Rachel (Genesis 30:22), Manoah’s wife (Judges 13:2-‐3), and Elizabeth (Luke 1:13). Seeing that God created the reproduction process, He knows exactly what’s going on with our bodies. The one thing you must never forget is…

God can do anything! Luke 1:37 ERV From a very young age, girls are taught to dream and hope for the future. Motherhood is usually part of those aspirations. When it doesn’t happen like we planned, what do we do? We must consult God for His perfect plans for our life, then believe Him and go along with what He has laid out for us. If and when He wants it to be, it will be. Trust that, and nothing else! Whatever God has called you to be and do right now, do that with all your might. He never wants us to be consumed by our longings and desires. He wants us to align ourselves with His will. The stigma of infertility as it relates to womanhood is prevalent in our society, but it’s not something we have to embrace. If the journey God has set for you doesn’t include having children, that doesn’t make you less of a woman. It means He has other great things to produce through you while you are on this earth! What He wants for us is better than anything we could want for ourselves. Once we accept what He wants for our lives, we will find solace regardless of the outcome.

Strengthen yourselves so that you will live your lives here on earth doing what God wants. 1 Peter 4:2 ERV REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Mourning

IN THE STILL OF THE

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dear friend of mine lost one of her twin boys when he was only an infant. As I thought of what she was going through, I couldn’t stop crying. At the baby’s funeral service, God began to speak to me as I saw my friend standing there with her family. I had never seen a casket so small. I immediately thought of my children. I saw myself in my friend’s place and realized it could happen to me too. Yet, it wasn’t me. It was my friend. And then, I wept all the more for her devastation and other mothers who had experienced the loss of their children. I left the service feeling an unfamiliar heaviness. Later on, I started having more thoughts. What if I walked into my child’s room and she or he were no longer breathing? Or if they got killed in an accident or something else terrible happened to them? My mind spilled over with one scenario after another. I was so overwhelmed, but I knew what I felt was nothing compared to what my friend was going through. I asked God for direction and revelation for such crushing times. I grabbed my journal and wrote these words. “Before the bad times come…” We must make a decision before anything happens never to doubt or mistrust God. We have to make a commitment to keep our hope in Him – not to lose faith – realizing no matter what we see before us, He has total control. We are in His hands and He has the best for us. I’ve heard heartbreaking stories of mothers who have suffered the loss of children due to pregnancy or childbirth complications, illnesses, accidents, or other tragic events. Understandably so, they have trouble sleeping and moving past the misery, as the memories, longing, and agony tug on their hearts. Others suppress their feelings to cope with the tragedy or go into a state of denial. Loss and grief have plagued my life in many forms, and one thing I know for certain is you can lose your mind if you do not submit your ideations to the Lord. In the still of the mourning is the time when life gets dark and everything seems to have come to a halt. The grief settles in and causes paralysis of the mind, body, soul, and spirit. The spirit of depression lurks about looking for a way to encroach and snuff out your will to live. The declaration I made in my journal has stuck with me since that day. The oppressive impressions I felt after the heavyhearted service changed me forever. I know this is going to sound morbid, but I have come to grips with the reality that my children could die before I do. If this happens, and God leaves me behind and grants me a new day, I understand His purpose for my life will not have ended. Otherwise, He wouldn’t allow me to live through it. I believe He will be there to help me carry on as I choose to live every day He gives me with His strength and peace. I know it’s easier to say it than to actually do it, but deep down, I know it’s what God wants for me and for you. In the stillness of the mourning, it may seem as if God is quiet or silent, but He’s not. In the stillness, He proclaims, “I am God” (Psalm 46:10). SCRIPTURES FOR IN THE STILL OF THE MOURNING

Psalm 18:4 Psalm 30:11 Jeremiah 31:25 Matthew 5:4

Ecclesiastes 11:5 Matthew 11:28

Lamentations 3:33 John 14:16

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THE INFLUENTIAL LIFE OF

l l e d r Ve

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

JONES

call her Grandmother. Yes, she’s the one my mother sent me to church with. My legacy of devotion to the Lord started with her unwavering faith in God. Every time I was with her, it was special. She loved me unconditionally and knew the right things to say. Grandmother was always looking out for me. Because of my mom’s work hours, I spent a lot of time at Grandmother’s house, particularly during my elementary school years. One of my earliest memories was on a hot Texas day I was riding along the city streets with her. I don’t remember where we were going, but I remember I was sitting in the front seat right next to her, the time before wearing a seat belt was a law. The car she drove had the biggest, longest front seat. Yet, I had to stick close to Grandmother. Between little ole me, her polyester pants, that searing vinyl car interior, and the gruesome Texas heatwave, I’m sure she was burning up and uncomfortable. Yet, I don’t remember her complaining about me being close to her or asking me to scoot over. Instead, she politely said, “Hopie, I think it’s time for you to start wearing deodorant.” And that was that. Grandmother did many things well. She crafted handmade goods and customized quilts to show love and appreciation for others. Everything she cooked was scrumptious. Even when she wasn’t feeling well, she made sure there was a hot meal on the table. Grandmother had seven children and a multitude of grandchildren. Unlike Queen Athaliah who sacrificed her grandchildren to gain power and position, Grandmother unceasingly put the needs of everyone else before her own. Her dedication to her family and her influence on others brought her respect and recognition. She inspired us all by being a superb role model. Memory after memory floods my mind when I think of Grandmother. The day she passed away I felt as if she were passing the mantle in more ways than one. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember something she said or did. The fabric of her life was tightly woven with goodwill and humility. I pray I can be as good of a mother and grandmother to my children and grandchildren as Grandmother was. The bond between a grandmother and her grandchildren is incredible. A grandmother’s endearment toward her grandchildren is an extension of the deep love she has for the children to whom she gave birth. I have learned and seen firsthand how a grandmother will do anything for her grandchildren, even it means caring for them and raising them. “Grandmotherhood” is a high-‐ranking position of motherhood, graced with distinguished honor and blessings. Being a grandmother gives you a purview like none other. You understand legacy. You want to see your own be and do well. With years of experience under your belt, you have a remarkable opportunity to pass along history and wisdom to your grandchildren. Keep on talking to them and giving them encouragement. Call them or send a note. If they don’t understand or receive your words today, one day the Lord will bring what you’ve said back to their minds and hearts. Be strategic about spending time with your young grandchildren. And for the older ones, visit them when possible and let them know they are welcome to visit you. May God bless you as you enjoy the fruits of your labor!

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged. Proverbs 17:6 NLT REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

Graceful Elegant Regal Perfectly fashioned as a beautiful queen Peaceful Gentle Eloquent Knew when to listen and when to speak Steadfast Confident Strong Understood what it meant to endure Wise Intelligent Handy A lifelong student, that’s for sure Giving Thoughtful Helper Didn’t ever forget about others Available Encourager Compassionate Always had a kind and wise word to say Servant Teacher Leader Had no problems being a follower or taking charge The heart of a soldier and the anointing of an angel A joyful smile that could light up any room An arrangement of sweet smelling roses, petunias, irises, tulips, daises, and lilies A connoisseur of all things beautiful Had the ability to see the beauty and potential in us that we could not see Never gave up on us because she knew God had a plan Prayed that we would realize it and take a stand She wore many “good-‐looking” hats along the way Daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, friend, neighbor But she knew exactly who she was -‐-‐ a child of The King And I know she’s dancing, singing, clapping, praising, basking in the presence of the Almighty A life worthy of praise, an example set for us What great memories and a heritage left for us to carry on To know we were put on this earth for something far greater than ourselves See, she knew the difference between religion and relationship with God It was evident in her life So that’s why she constantly reminded us to seek the Lord and live upright She lived her life to the fullest and set the stage for you and me Now it’s our turn to take up our cross and be all God has called us to be

what a lady, what a life

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by Hope N. Jones -‐ 3/7/08, 3:37 a.m. – Dedicated to the memory of my grandmother Verdell Jones (1926-‐2008)

REGAL HEART RECOMMENDS

The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian BOOK SUMMARY “After 20 years of raising her son and daughter alongside her husband, Michael, Stormie looks back at the trials and joys of parenting and the power in praying for her children. In these easy-‐to-‐ read chapters, Stormie shares from personal experience as to how parents can pray for their kids. This resource will help you to be an amazing praying parent whether your kids are three or thirty-‐three.” -‐from www.stormieomartian.com

ALSO AVAILABLE:

The Power of a Praying Mom & The Power of a Praying Grandparent

https://www.stormieomartian.com/product-‐category/books/parent/ I started reading The Power of a Praying Parent six months after our first child was born. It has been the most valuable parenting book I’ve ever read! I still refer to these prayers today for both of our children. Some of the prayers I prayed all those years ago are just now coming to pass. If you’re not sure how to pray for children or simply want to elevate your prayer life, this book is for you. It’s never too early or too late to start praying for your children. Commit to praying for them and God’s plans for their lives. They will need your guidance, but there will come a time when they will need to learn to make decisions without your constant involvement. Prayer is the most effective way to look out for them. Prayer is your declaration to God that you trust Him and stand with Him as He directs their lives. Prayer is the only other weapon, besides God’s Word, you should be using when it comes to your children. We must continue to pray for them, and let God do His work in their hearts, minds, and souls. -‐ Hope N. Jones

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spiritual

MOTHERHOOD

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

piritual motherhood is the time when a godly woman teaches someone how to live according to the principles of God’s Word. Titus 2:3-‐5 refers to older women being trained to teach younger women in the areas of marriage, motherhood, and homemaking. The seasoned older women were to advise the younger women to walk in wisdom, purity, and kindness. We also learn from Titus 2:3 that a spiritual mother reverently lives for God, speaks positive words, steers clear of overindulgence and addictions, and teaches good information. It’s difficult to help others when your life is not on track. As we discussed before about biological motherhood, issues arise when we try to convince a person to do something other than what they see us doing. Even more so, if you are talking about God’s Word but not living according to it, people will begin to question and doubt the validity of your faith and the God you claim to serve. A spiritual mother’s life must represent and demonstrate the power of God at work within her. Spiritual motherhood extends beyond the realm of your birth children. It’s allowing God to use you to effectively impact the lives of other people as well. It’s about experience and the ability to use that experience to show others how to walk out their life’s journey. It could also be a time to help meet a need, say an encouraging word, and be a listening ear.

We are all called to help others in different ways. If you pray to God, He will lay people on your heart and show you how to help them -‐-‐ a family member, friend, neighbor, colleague, or someone you just met. God can lead you to mentor one-‐on-‐one or to start a group. He may direct you to an organization where you can be of support. All God asks is for you to be willing. You should also pray to God to lead you to wise women that can impart into your life. Pray for women who are full of God’s Spirit, love, truth, and wisdom. All of us need support in one way or another. One beneficial word, one kind act can totally change someone’s day and direction. It’s amazing how God connects us and gives us the privilege to bless each other. That’s one of the perks of relationships. There is no doubt we can make a difference!

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. Hebrews 13:7 NLT

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rose.

A mother is like a Lovely, gentle, and sweet. - Hope N. Jones

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Prayerfor

Dear God,

Mothers

Thank you for the precious gift of motherhood. Forgive us for all the times we’ve been mean to our children. Help us to love our children the way You desire. May our influence be godly and positive. Lead us to be the mothers You have called us to be. For those of us who desire to have children, let us rest in Your divine timing and will. May we be dedicated to You in every way as we live out your purpose for our lives. Whatever You allow to happen, we trust You. For those of us who have suffered the loss of our precious child, surround us with Your peace that passes all understanding. Comfort us with Your presence. Restore our will to live. Thank you for our mothers and grandmothers who reared and cared for us. May you bless each mother richly for every sacrifice she made. Deliver our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits from any negative influences in our upbringing. We are who You say we are, and our lives will be what You want when we surrender to You. For those of us who have aging mothers and grandmothers, help us to recognize any needs they may have and give us the wisdom to see to it that they get the care they need. May we always be loving, kind, and respectful toward them. May we be sensitive and responsive to life changes such as fading memory, health issues, or any other circumstance that strips away the ability to be able to care for themselves. Give us the strength and resource to do whatever we need to do on their behalf. Help us make the most of our time with them. For those of us whose mothers and grandmothers have passed, may we find comfort in the good memories we made with them. May we use the lessons we learned from them to become better. May we always celebrate our heritage because without them we wouldn’t be here. Thank you for all the spiritual mothers in our lives. May they too be blessed richly for helping us and being there when we needed them. Lead us to women and men of all ages in our various spheres of influence in the world that need support. May we make a positive impact as we reflect Your love and live out Your truth.

In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen. REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

About every ten years, my skin changes. My skin is sensitive and becomes easily irritated so I have to be extra cautious about what I use. Rest and water are top priority when it comes to keeping my skin healthy. I cleanse with castile soap and moisturize with pure oils. Occasionally, I use apple cider vinegar and rosewater to tone and treat blemishes. Then about once a month or so, I exfoliate with a loofah or a clay mask. Because lipwear is the only makeup I use on a regular basis, a ritual of skin care

is needed to preserve even skin tone, soft texture, and fresh glow. Eating clean, healthy foods helps too! There is no perfect formula for our varied skin care needs. Though, I suggest you stick with pure, natural, organic products. Always read the ingredients. Do your research and never buy products on hype. Invest in quality products that have multiple uses. Go without makeup to let your skin breathe from time to time. In the long run, your skin will be healthier and more vibrant!

Get item details at https://www.polyvore.com/hello_flawless_skincare_naturelle/set?id=225269146 52

Styled by Hope N. Jones, MERCHANT GIRL

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

See more at http://merchantgirl.polyvore.com/

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3

www.regalhearts.com

REGAL HEART MAGAZINE 2017 Issue 3