April 2016
Let’s Get Kit Fit Tips on Keeping Your Kit Up to Date Pleasure Principles Home Party Advice HPPPA Sex Ed Trans 101
“How to Sell To Your LGBTQ Customers”
April 2016
HPPPA MENTORS Dr. Ava Cadell Love Guru, Media Therapist, Author and World Class Speaker, Founder of Loveology University™ www.avacadell.com Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D. / CEO Sexologist, Author & Speaker, Holistic Psychotherapist, Founder of NAASAS www.naasas.com
HPPPA EXECUTIVE BOARD MEMBERS Tamara Payton Bell, Chairperson Founder of HPPPA • www.hpppa.org
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Setting the Tone By Tamara Payton Bell
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Pridefully Loving the Queer Community By Antonia Hunt
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HPPPA Sexual Education Trans 101
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Let’s Get Kit Fit Additions to add to your kit
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Truth in Selling By Neena Joiner Feelmore Adult Gallery
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Pump Up the Party Home Party Tips & Tricks
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Associate Members Buyer’s Guide
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Pleasure Principles Home Party Advice
Jackie White, Vice President CalExotics™ • www.calexotics.com Loren Levy, President Classic Erotica • www.classicerotica.net Scott Watkins, VP, Sales & Marketing Doc Johnson • www.DocJohnson.com Tracey Bryant, Home Party Honey Luv Romance Donna Lee, Home Party Playful Delights Kim Varner, Home Party Kymbra’s Closet
HPPPA HOUSE COUNSEL Michael W. Fattorosi, Attorney Fattorosi & Associates 6345 Balboa Blvd., Bldg. III, Ste. 370 Encino, CA 91316 (818) 881-8500 • www.adultbizlaw.com HPPPA OPERATIONS TEAM Tamara Payton Bell Two 2 Tease / Sacramento, CA Association Director Kim Varner Kymbra’s Closet / Kansas City, MO Member Liaison/Member Services & Benefits Manager Donna Jacobs Isles of Paradise / Castro Valley, CA Association Rules, Policies & Procedures Manager
Home Party Review is published quarterly by the Home Pleasure Party Plan Association. For subscription or advertising information, contact HPPPA Founder and Chair Tamara Payton Bell at admin@hpppa.org.
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We do parties for so many different people and the preparation is simple. When we are asked to do a party for a gay male, lesbian or transgender, all kinds of questions arise. What kinds of product do I bring? Is there certain terminology I need to study? What do I need to do to prepare? The answer to all of these questions is very simple…do what you do for any other party! We put too much emphasis on sexuality and gender. As party plan owners, our job is to introduce and educate on the use of adult novelty items.
Relax and don’t over think, over react or over prepare! Stock your kit with the latest and greatest products and do what you do best…Sell with Pride!
Relax and don’t over think, over react or over prepare!
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The Tone
Home Party Review
When you book a party with someone in the gay community, it does not mean you need to learn a second language. Preparation should be as simple as any of the other parties you have done.
SETTING
Selling with Pride!
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Pridefully Loving the By: Antonia Hunt There are so many myths and assumptions, both good and bad, about working with the LGBT community. I remember once I was at a show and I heard a vender respond to someone at their booth saying, “Oh, we don’t cater to that community, it’s a lot of work.” Being a member of this community I was taken back buy what I’d heard. They absolutely lost out on business that day and moved closer to having a negative reputation. Let me dispel some of the myths for you, offer the space and possible solutions to be even more inclusive with your business, and offer you some tips that I have found to be welcoming, both personally and professionally, within the Queer community. Note: For this article I will use the word Queer as it is an umbrella term and encompasses all the letters within the LGBT… community. Myths & Possible Solutions
Note: For this article I will use the word Queer as it is an umbrella term and encompasses all the letters within the LGBT… community.
#1. There’s too many letters, I can’t keep track. LGBTQIAAPQ etc… is indeed a tasty mouthful of alphabet soup for the soul. Knowing the letters is great, but you don’t need to know what they all mean or stand for in order to work with us. In short, the list breaks down into 2 categories: How an individual self-identifies or who an individual is romantically/sexually attracted to. That’s it. The specifics are less important when offering our business to people. If you want to know, ask, otherwise assume they are coming to you because they want to love/be loved or please/be pleased. #2. It’s too hard to “cater to the LGBT community Being a part of the community means that you either identify with something other than what you were assigned as birth or your sexual Home Party Review
preference is something other than just the opposite sex. For most of us, we still have the same parts to love and be loved. When considering what products I wish to carry, for the most part, I order all the same items that I would if I were targeting a hetero population. It may come as a surprise but, some lesbians love dildos, and some gay men love anal plugs. Same items, possibly different audience. I have never heard of anyone Queer walking into sex store without the ability to find something that tickled their fancy with items that weren’t “Queer specific.” Pleasure is pleasure. There are a few exceptions for those that want to take it a step further and be a little more inclusive, thus increasing your revenue and reputation. I’ll talk about a few favorites later. #3. I’m afraid I’m going to offend someone.
It’s easy to offend any and everyone these days. My philosophy is to treat the Queer community as you would ANY community. Remain curious. This doesn’t mean that you have to do and like what others like, but allow our fantasies, kinks, experiences, and stories to be our own. What do I mean? Just because you know a lesbian that loves strap-ons doesn’t mean they all do. So, let your assumptions go, and approach each person and situation with curiosity. Let go of “you must….” and “I bet you like…” thoughts and phrases and instead use “what kind of” and “tell me about” phrases. This allows the person to not feel like they must like this or that, and also lessens the possibility of them feeling judged or offended by something you have said. Remaining genuinely curious in order to learn and better serve allows you to better connect with your customers. Most don’t get offended by curiosity, especially when it doesn’t have any hidden agenda or assumption attached to it.
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Queer Community Tips A simple Rainbow can speak volumes. I personally chose to carry a few items and show my pride for the community. Although not everyone in the community is as fond of rainbows as I am, it is a known Queer symbol and creates a feeling of identity for many within the community. Being able to see it when I shop tells me that a company has taken the time to be inclusive of people like me, thus creating a stronger connection with that company. Let your customer be the expert It is a great feeling to walk into a store and to have someone ask you your “expert opinion.” Although I’m in the community I don’t identify when many of the letters in the alphabet. When I meet someone whose identity is something different (or even the same) as my own, I ask them what THEY would recommend. This can give individuals a sense of importance, feelings that they matter, and the ability to offer others like them something great. Large companies do this with surveys, but you can simply do it by having a suggestion box or asking and writing down what they would recommend and why. Choose your words wisely!
am more inclined to look/listen. Great thing is that lover or partner can include so many people that are excluded with “husband and/or wife phrases. Other examples are “for her/him,” “your girlfriend/boyfriend,” or assumptions of the pronouns “he/she.” Get used to using them/them or specific names. Also, if you know you are working specifically with the Queer community or individual, ask what pronouns they use (chances are they will already know what you are referring to), or how they would like you to identify them. We won’t get it right 100% of the time, but a little effort goes a long way and can make a huge difference for your company. The adult industry arguably encounters some of the widest range of individuals. I’ve always taken pride in the amount of diversity and acceptance I have found within this industry. It is here that I have met some of the greatest people that land on so many varying points in life’s many spectrums. This makes for a very colorful and humbling experience. It has never been, and will never be a one-size-fits-all or even most type of industry. The more inclusive and accepting you are of this reality, in my opinion, the more successful you can become within it. I wish you all the best in Pridefully Loving the Queer Community!
Simply rewording a presentation, banner, add, or changing what we consider innocent words during a sales pitch can greatly increase connection, reputation, and revenue. When I see/hear partner or lover instead of husband and/or wife, I all of a sudden feel included and
Recommended Queer specific manufactures, lines, and products:
SpareParts HardWear The Semenette by Berman Innovations Sailor by Pleasure Works Pack It by DocJohnson Aneros Arouse by Eye of Love Just to name a few…
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HPPPA ex
Trans 101 Transgender people come from all walks of life. We are friends, coworkers, family members, and come from many ethnic and faith backgrounds.
who was born a girl and in her adult life feels (name and/or gender change on driver’s very comfortable living and identifying as a license, birth certificate and other legal female. documents), and a social transition (telling friends and family they’re trans and living as FTM or F2M another gender, regardless of medical or Although there is more transgender visibility Female to Male. This is a trans person who legal status). than ever due to celebrities like Laverne was assigned female at birth (AFAB) but Cox, Chaz Bono, Janet Mock, and Caitlyn identifies and lives a male. Other terms All in all, if you’re conversing with a trans Jenner to name a few, a lot of people still include, transgender male, trans man and person try to remain respectful and neutral don’t quite understand what it means to be trans guy. when asking questions. Asking questions trans. They don’t personally know a trans about genitals and birth names are generally person so they aren’t very familiar with MTF or M2F inappropriate and will make a trans person appropriate terminology if they ever engage Male to Female. This trans person was uncomfortable. It’s a good rule of thumb to in conversation with a trans person. assigned male at birth (AMAB) and ask a person’s pronouns before getting to identifies with as well as lives a female. deep into any conversation with a trans Below are a few terms you should get Other terms include, transgender female and person. I generally start by telling them my acquainted with in order to make interactions trans woman. own pronouns and then asking theirs. And that much more comfortable for all parties remember, a little compassion goes a long involved in the conversation. Keep in mind CROSS DRESSER way! this is a shorter list of a wide range of A cross dresser is a person who dresses in terminology used by trans folks and allies so stereotypical clothing worn by the opposite if you’re willing to connect with a trans sex that they identify with. This person person it would definitely be worth using usually has no intention as living as another these terms as a start to more extensive gender, they just enjoy dressing like them research. from time to time. Transvestite is a derogatory term for cross dresser. TRANSGENDER Being transgender, or trans, is an umbrella GENDERQUEER term for a person who identifies differently Also called non-binary or gender expansive, than the sex that they were assigned at birth. genderqueer is an umbrella term for people This is an incredibly broad and diverse term, whose gender identity doesn’t entirely match which defines this part of the community as one binary gender or another. A genderqueer a whole, not specifically. Some examples person can identify as more than one gender, include trans person identifying as male, fluctuating their gender, or they can identify female, genderqueer, agender, or nonbinary. as no gender at all. Example terms would be: It’s also worth noting that sexual orientation Agender, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, and gender identity are in different and pangender. categories. A trans person can be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, or asexual. TRANSITION A person in transition or transitioning, is a CISGENDER person who starts to live their life as a gender A person who identifies with the sex they other than the one assigned at birth. This can were assigned at birth is a cisgender person. be any combination of a medical transition A perfect example of this would be a person (hormones, surgery, etc), a legal transition Home Party Review
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Is your guide for product recommendations for your demo-kit. You’ll find tips for product presentation & selling techniques. Check with your favorite distributor for product availability & pricing. Pride Playset & Tuggie by Pipedream Products The Pride Playset & Tuggie are fun & furry, playful & sexy items to show your pride in the bedroom.
LOKI by Lelo Perfectly shaped and angles for a luxurious and powerful prostate massage or anal play, the waterproof, rechargeable LOKI features 6 variable settings for a climax that reaches mindblowing intensity.
Pheromone Collection by Eye of Love
OptiMALE Vibrating Double CRing by Doc Johnson
Eye of Love Pheromone Collection has created a group of high quality pheromone products that address all types of attraction. There are female to male products, male to female products, male to male & female to female pheromone scents. All come in a variety of scents including massage candles & portable roll ons and sprays.
Packed with intense pleasure for both you and your partner, the Doc Johnson OptiMALE Vibrating Double C-Ring is waterproof and has two stretchable silicone rings -for your shaft and testicles - helping you achieve and maintain longlasting erections and prolonged ejaculation.
Colt Deep Drill by CalExotics The silicone Colt Deep Drill is a man-sized probe with realistic features. It has a flexible shaft with incredible girth. Includes 10 power packed functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation. Easy push button control with LED light. Home Party Review
The Womanizer The Womanizer provides touchless stimulation of the clitoris. The Womanizer now with a new compact design making it more comfortable to hold and use and now featuring an incredible 8 intensity levels. The soft silicone head offers light suction with pulsating pleasure waves for a completely unique and intense experience. www.hpppa.org
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Truth in Selling By Nenna Joiner As a smaller business, I do not have the luxury of having certain tools that would help me know for sure if my customers are gay, such as ‘gay-dars’. Instead I just accept the diversity in people’s sexual behaviors. How people present themselves when they are shopping is important, but it does not help you to understand their sexual preferences. I do however; ask those I am aware of and spend more time with, what are their preferred gender pronoun is. A few things that you should think of when knowing about your customer is what can their money buy vs. what does their gender tell you. The internet definition of gender is: “…being either male or female.” Today, we have the luxury of redefining words and meanings to suite ourselves which is a great privilege. So many people are not just choosing to identify as male or female but Gender Fluid. Gender Fluid is where an individual’s identity can vary over time. Take this definition as great news for your business. It helps you to open up to the differences of people and exponentially opens up their product discussions. How a person presents is none of our business, but as
retailers it is our duty to find out the right questions that will drive the sale. Which is more important in determining a sale? 1. Do you have a budget? 2. What have you bought in the past?
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Knowing will help you and keep you safe from saying the wrong thing, but also help your business reach beyond existing sales simply because of respect and trust for the people that comprise your community.
3. What are you looking for? Those are the types of questions ● you●may●want to ask not the following: 1. Are you going to use this with a male or female partner? 2. Did you attend gay pride? The above questions, if asked in a workplace, would be inappropriate or could be offensive to certain clients. Just because someone buys from your business or you identify that you are a sex positive shop does not give room for assumptions.
Stay focused on the product and your sales will increase. If you are selling a dildo, make certain you give as much information on the functionality and possible uses of the item. The customer will give you an important cue if you are off the mark for their preferences. You will know! For me, there have been situations when I’m keeping the gender pronoun to ‘Them’ instead of ‘He’ or ‘She’ and the customer said it’s a ‘She’. At that point you respect the direction but continue to find ways to talk about the possible scenarios. Yes, we are to support our customer and know who they are, but you should also know that you have a higher probability of offending someone when you are unsure if you are selling to their sexual identification vs. gender preferences. Knowing will help you and keep you safe from saying the wrong thing, but also help your business reach beyond existing sales simply because of respect and trust for the people that comprise your community. Neena is the owner of Feelmore Adult Gallery located in the heart of downtown Oakland, CA. Contact her at: https://feelmore510.com
Pump Up
The Party
Pump Up The Party is designed to provide you, the party plan owner, with ideas, tips, tricks, & inspiration to enhance your pleasure party presentation. This column will provide information about different aspects of conducting a pleasure party.
1. If you are going to exhibit at an event, make sure you do your homework. Choose the right product, prepare in advance and have fun! Events can be intimidating, stressful and frustrating if you go unprepared, but it can be super exciting overall. 2. Read books on all areas of sexuality. It will help you when you get asked questions you
are unfamiliar with. Knowledge is power, even in this industry! 3. Get involved in your community activities. What a great way to meet new people and also
get your name out. 4. Get a business buddy to partner with. They will help you with issues you are struggling
with, help keep you on track and be there when you need someone to bounce ideas off of. 5. There are lots of new products being introduced monthly. Make sure you stay on top of
what’s new and HOT! You always want to stay in the know of all things adult novelties! 6. Prepare for upcoming events months ahead to make sure you don’t miss out. There are
so many great events that you can attend or be a part of. Keep a good calendar to ensure you don’t miss what could be a potential great opportunity for you. 7. Update your social media sites often. You may have hundreds or thousands of likes, but
they don’t mean anything if you don’t keep them engaged. Make sure you are taking advantage of all the important social media sites available.
Social Media Sites that are Great for Your Business: Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Snapchat Google+ Instagram Pinterest Periscope Blogger.com YouTube
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Bijoux Indiscrets
Eye of Love
LELO
www.bijouxindescrets.com
www.eyeoflove.com
www.lelo.com
Twenty One Mask Collection Aphrodisia L’essence du Boudior Oral Pleasure Poeme Body Paint The Magnifique Body Jewelry
CalExotics www.calexotics.com
Amour™ Coco Licious™ embrace™ First Time™ Impress™ Jack Rabbits ® Scandal™
Classic Erotica www. classicerotica.net
Crazy Girl® Coochy® Body Dew® Max 4 Men™ Heart’s Desire™
Doc Johnson www.docjohnson.com
CandiLand Lucid Dream GoodHead OraLove OptiMale
EPI24 USA, LLC www.womanizer.com
Womanizer Pro Womanizer W100
Massage Candle Rose Petals Love on the Run Roll-on Love on the Run Travel Spray Pheromone Parfum Spray
Jelique Products, Inc. www.jelique.com
Pure Instinct Nympho’s Desire Mighty Tidy Tasty Twist Nipple Nibblers
JimmyJane www.jimmyjane.com
Form 1, 2, 5 Hello Touch X Intro 1, 2, 4, 6
Jopen, LLC’s www.jopen.com
Vanity™ EGO™ Key Envy Lust Essence™
Insignia /Luxe Femme & Homme
Novelties by Nasswalk NassToys www.nasstoys.com
Amore Intensifi Macho Perfect Fit Ravishing Surenda Velvet Kiss
Pipedream Products www.pipedreamproducts.com
Basix Rubber Works Favors WOW! Vibes Fetish Fantasy Series® Neon Luv Touch Icicles Jelly Jems Pipedream Extreme
XR Brands LLC www.xrbrands.com
Frisky Wand Essentials Trinity Vibes Vogue Lovebotz
Kama Sutra Company www.kamasutra.com
Honey Dust Oil of Love Lover Body Paint Aromatic Massage Oil
Massage Candle
Home Party Review is the voice of the industry ... Contact HPPPA Founder and Chief Executive Officer Tamara Payton Bell at admin@hpppa.org to partner with the official publication of the home party professional. Home Party Review
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2 Million Sold and Going Strong Are you stocked with Dr. Sadie始s how-to sex books?
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Home Party Review is the voice of the industry ... Contact HPPPA Founder and Chief Executive Officer Tamara Payton Bell at tamara@hpppa.org to partner with the official publication of the home party professional.
Have a question about party plans? Ask the Pleasure Principals. The Pleasure Principals are a group of expert sex educators who are knowledgeable about the operations of home pleasure party plans. Do you make your own catalog or are there any available? Some companies make their own catalogs, but the cost for printing can be very expensive. It can also be very time consuming to layout a good quality catalog. The product changes often and you will need to create supplements to keep up with the ever growing product line. Check with your distributor to see if they offer a generic catalog that you can purchase in quantity. Several of our industry distributors have created beautiful full color catalogs at a reasonable rate for you to have at your parties or hand out to outside customers. How important is it to keep up with current events in the industry if we are only doing parties? There may be stories that are related to the product you sell, the companies you deal with and the information you utilize to keep your company current. Our industry publications, such as XBIZ, AVN and StorErotica, keep us informed on changes in the industry, provide us with great product reviews and highlight our industry leaders. Keeping up with the current events can make you a stronger company and give you innovative ideas to take you to the next level. What are some good ways to book parties? Here are some great ideas to book parties: 1. Be sure to share your catalogs, business cards or flyers with as many people as you know. Most women like to share their finds with their family and friends. Don’t be afraid to share your marketing materials with as many people as possible. Doing this will only increase your bookings and it is fair to assume that half of those who look through a brochure will either book a party or place an order. 2. Go to malls, restaurants and local businesses and pass out your card or flyer…always ask first when leaving them in a public establishment. 3. Call all of your friends and family and ask them to book a party for you. Let them know you need as much practice as possible. 4. Book special parties yourself to introduce new product, share some great opportunities or just for fun. 5. Attend trade shows and special events…be careful when attending family events when kids are present! 6. Create a social media blitz. Post special prizes for those who book in a certain month, on a certain day or who comes up with a great theme party. 7. Do an online event on Facebook or on other social media sites and play a game that a guest gets special discounts if they book a party. There are tons of ideas to get people to book parties with you, you just have to be a little creative. Home Party Review
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