Huffington (Issue #50)

THE HUFFINGTON POST MAGAZINE

MAY 26, 2013

ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC Which Festival Says You? Surf Music’s New Wave Preview

SPECIAL ISSUE #50 CONTENTS HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

LIFESTYLE FASHION 10 Hot Trends Swimsuit Shopping FOOD Summer Beers Burger Mistakes to Avoid Gas vs. Charcoal BBQ Apps

BEST BEST SUMMER SUMMER FILM Q&A: Greta Gerwig The Most Unoriginal Summer Julie Delpy on Before Midnight Preview

TV Q&A: Lost Writer’s New Project Preview

CULTURE BOOKS Stephen King’s Joyland 9 Must-Reads Preview

ART Punk at the Met Art of the Street Preview

FROM THE EDITOR ABOUT THIS ISSUE

TRAVEL 9 Food Trails Summer in D.C. Camp Horror Stories Proceed With Caution CODA

ON THE COVER: Illustration for Huffington by Toby and Pete

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BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Stressless Summer N THIS WEEK’S special summer issue, we’re putting the spotlight on all the season’s diverse offerings, with an emphasis on ways to enjoy the summer with less stress.

To do that, we’ve brought together a range of voices and fea-

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tures reflecting on the spirit of summer, starting with comprehensive (and yes, opinionated) guides to the best of entertainment, culture and lifestyle, including a photo essay featuring the Met’s muchdiscussed exhibit, Punk: Chaos and Couture, an exclusive excerpt from Stephen King’s forthcoming

Join the conversation on Twitter and Facebook

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novel Joyland, young adult author Una LaMarche on life lessons learned at summer camp, and an interview with Frances Ha star Greta Gerwig.

Elsewhere in the issue, Christopher Rosen looks at this summer’s movie offerings and finds that “old is new,” going so far as to provide a breakdown of the last 15 years of Hollywood’s predilection for sequels, prequels, remakes and adaptations.

We also look at the top reasons summer vacations go wrong — from bedbugs and breakups to pickpockets and hangovers. And Jason Linkins memorably describes summer, and particularly the “silly season” month of August, in Washington, D.C.: “Pretty soon, the relative humidity and wretched air quality index will combine to make the entire D.C.-Metro area a sweltering, inhospitable environment that feels like you are walking around inside the jockstrap of the world’s first gorilla-triathlete.”

Finally, we’re sharing tips and new twists on how to make the most of beloved summer pas-

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

times: a survey of the season›s top fashion trends, a celebration of surf music, how to take the stress out of swimsuit shopping, a

We’ve brought together a range of voices and features reflecting on the spirit of summer, starting with comprehensive (and yes, opinionated) guides to the best of entertainment, culture and lifestyle.” guide to grilling the perfect summer burger and the results of our taste test of summer beers. So kick back, relax, and let the summer begin...

ARIANNA

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ABOUT THIS ISSUE

Potato Chips in Champagne SPENT MY FIRST two summers in New York resisting the urge to buy an air conditioning unit, and walking around my apartment holding a small fan inches from my face. In retrospect, I’m not sure why I made that choice, though it was probably some combination of being young, lazy and wanting to be like Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch. But I’ll always look back fondly on those summers, when it seemed time stood still in the thick humid air, and every moment felt longer than the one before it. Pain-

WENDY GEORGE

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fully hotter maybe... but longer!

The Seven Year Itch really gets the feeling of time standing still.

There’s this moment in the film, one of many when Marilyn walks downstairs to Tom Ewell’s apartment to leech off his air conditioner. She looks up at Ewell while he’s in the middle of one his deluded fantasies about her and snaps him out of it: “Hey, did you ever try dunking a potato chip in champagne?” she asks. “It’s real crazy!”

As a kid, I thought this was just wild, and couldn’t wait to try it when I grew up and turned into

Gazelle Emami is the managing editor of Huffington.

ABOUT THIS ISSUE

Marilyn Monroe. Her sentiment perfectly carried the magic of summer to me: The feeling that you can do any crazy thing you want.

As an adult, summer is the one time of year when you can hit pause on life without any lingering guilt; when you don’t feel like you have to grow, change or rush toward any of the million things that clutter your brain the rest of the year. You can be anyone you choose to be — and maybe all that is is the kind of person who can grill a perfect burger, as we’ll demonstrate in the pages ahead.

In this spirit, our issue features the types of people who come out of the woodworks during the summer, from six typical festivalgoers to diehard gas and charcoal grillers (as Craig Goldwyn puts it, “the flame war ... burns brighter than the debate between Mac and PC users.”)

As for Summer, it can be anything it wants to be, too, and it’s handed us a few themes to play with this year. There’s punk, which lives at The Met, and in the obscure history of surf music. Stephen King brings us an exclusive excerpt of his upcoming novel, while a TV adaptation of one of his books is gunning to become this summer’s critical

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hit. Then we have the 90s: Hanson, Wu-Tang Clan and The Backstreet Boys all return with new music in the months ahead.

A special shout-out to Andrea Nasca, who brilliantly conceptualized the look and feel of this issue, Wendy George, whose hours of research resulted in the stunning photography you’ll see in the pages

Summer can be anything it wants to be.” ahead, and John Montorio for his invaluable judgment and guidance amid a grueling weight-loss regimen as he prepares for summer.

We hope you’ll enjoy the offerings we’ve presented here, and if you follow our guide correctly, you’ll find some creative ways to use them. Because if you want to sit on your couch in lucite heels and watch Arrested Development, just go right ahead.

GAZELLE EMAMI

SPECIAL ISSUE #50 HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

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MUSIC TV FILM

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The True Story of 6 ‘Typical’ Festivalgoers

Festival season — that time of year when beer flows freely from makeshift taps into clear plastic cups, and tanlines grow upon us like zippers on Michael Jackson’s jackets — is upon us. Each year’s summer brings with it more and more choices. Which festival should you invest a few hundred of your hard-earned dollars in? HuffPost is here to help.

Should you dance with the young’uns at Electric Daisy Carnival or fashion yourself an art car and head to Burning Man? Does indieshuffling with hipsters at Lollapalooza make more sense than getting a good dose of real hip-hop at Rock the Bells? Or does a circuit party offer the best bang for your buck? Take a look at the options to the right, and, no matter what you decide, remember to wear sunscreen. – Kia Makarechi

TAP FOR INFO

EDC

WARPED TOUR

OUTSIDE/ LOLLA

BURNING MAN

ROCK THE BELLS

CIRCUIT PARTIES

DENISE TRUSCELLO/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (EDC); JEROD HARRIS/GETTY IMAGES (WARPED TOUR); KISBY/GETTY IMAGES (OUTSIDE/ LOLLA); AP PHOTO/BRAD HORN (BURNING MAN); BRYAN BEDDER/GETTY IMAGES (ROCK THE BELLS); WIILSONMODELS (CIRCUIT PARTIES); BARRY BRECHEISEN/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (CROWD)

SURF

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The Great Surf Music Divide

BY GAZELLE EMAMI

HE STORY GOES that when The Beatles landed stateside in 1964, they killed surf music. But one, lone surf act escaped Americans’ selective amnesia of what they had been spinning just months be-

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fore: They were called The Beach Boys, and if you ask most anyone today, chances are they’ll equate the genre with the band.

Talk to a few surf music purists, however, and they’ll throw you a curveball: When The Beach Boys took over our con-

Hollywood actors amuse themselves between scenes at California’s Malibu Beach in 1965.

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sciousness as the official purveyors of the “sound of summer,” they killed surf music.

How does surf music kill surf music? Let’s backtrack. The Beach Boys, and similar-minded bands like Jan and Dean, were part of a school of surf rock that played up vocals and four-part harmonies. Their pop-friendly style was present in the American International Pictures beach party films of the early 1960s (think Beach Party and Beach Blanket Bingo). The series — which celebrate its 50th anniversary this July — sparked mainstream interest in surf music, but bears little resemblance to the instrumental surf that purists call the real thing.

“Surfers remained fairly loyal to the instro school while the general public lapped up the vocal school,” Kent Crowley, author of Surf Beat: Rock ‘n’ Roll’s Forgotten Revolution, told The Huffington Post.

So what does real “instro” sound like? According to John Blair, who formed the ‘70s surf revival band Jon and the Nightriders, that question has been asked a thousand times to no avail.

SURF

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ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC

Geographically, the answer is located between the guitar and amp, in the reverb unit, which adds an effect to make the chords sound “wet and drippy.” “Once you explain that to someone, they’re still looking at you like they don’t know what you’re talk-

They thought [The Beach Boys] were purveyors of something fake. They thought they were putting something wrong on the face of instrumental music.” ing about,” said Blair, who also wrote The Illustrated Discography of Surf Music, 1961-1965.

Other approximations of the sound: Loud. Aggressive. Twangy.

With a distinctive, staccato guitar picking pioneered by “King of the Surf Guitar” Dick Dale (who you may recognize from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack).

Or just picture these parallel universes: While Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon were singing and dancing to surf on the big screen, Dale was blow-

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ing out amps (approximately 50 of them in all) and driving hundreds of stomping kids wild at a series of concerts at the Rendezvous Ballroom in Balboa, Calif.

“It was pre-punk punk,” musi-

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ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC

cologist Elliot Kendall says.

Dale’s deafening approach is why if you set up a Pandora radio station for Finnish surf rock band Laika & the Cosmonauts and let it go for a while, some-

The Evolution of Surf

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thing strange happens — the music service’s algorithm veers off course and hightails it for heavy metal. (Dale’s second nickname?

“The Father of Heavy Metal.”)

Pandora — a music service that plays songs of a certain genre based on what artist the user selects — is perhaps best channeled for aberrations like this: discovering the weird trajectory of a genre like surf music, one that has spawned hundreds of local bands across the world, with crossovers to punk, heavy metal, ska and psychedelia.

That may really be why traditional surf music was unable to survive The Beatles: It was too local. While acts like Jan and Dean were enjoying national success preBeatles, instrumental surf remained a Southern California phenomenon.

Blair describes the scene this way: When The Beach Boys came to local venues in SoCal, the kids literally threw vegetables at them.

“They thought they were purveyors of something fake,” Blair said. “They thought they were putting something wrong on the face of instrumental music.”

That’s not to say vocal surf wasn’t a legitimate form of surf music, or that the two camps

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ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC

can’t coexist. But the second wave of surf that eventually reemerged in the late 70s had more in common with the first stirrings of punk than it did The Beach Boys.

“We were playing on the same stage with punk bands, and we were playing loud and we were playing fast,” explains Blair, whose band was one of the leaders of wave two. “The kids were

Tap here for a playlist of surf bands from the 50s to today.

We were playing on the same stage with punk bands, and we were playing loud and we were playing fast.” picking up on it because it was exciting, and not so dissimilar from the new wave bands.”

The connection isn’t lost on the beach partiers. In 1987, Funicello and Avalon starred in a parody of their own films, Back to the Beach.

The scene: Annette and Frankie are settled down in Ohio and decide to visit their daughter in California, only to discover their beach has been taken over — by a punk rock surf gang.

PREVIEW

ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC

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What Decade Is It, Anyway?

FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES FOR COACHELLA

BY GAZELLE EMAMI

Throw up your Ws — Wu-Tang Clan is back.

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HE 90S ARE here in more ways than one this summer — from boy bands (Hanson, Backstreet Boys), rap (Wu-Tang Clan) and Brit trip hop (Tricky) to alt rock (Alice in Chains), emo (Jimmy Eat World) and R&B (Ashanti), artists who defined our summers 20 years ago are still at it in 2013. Ahead, discover how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Tap here for a Spotify playlist previewing some of the music ahead.

EDWARD SHARPE & THE MAGNETIC ZEROES

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EDWARD SHARPE & THE MAGNETIC ZEROES, OUT JULY 23 2013, year of the selftitled third album? (See MGMT.) Frontman Alex Ebert sounds pretty confident about the statement they’re making: “These songs mean everything to me. It’s the rawest, most liberated, most rambunctious stuff we’ve done.”

assists from Seattle hip hop duo Shabazz Palaces and Gang Gang Dance’s Brian DeGraw.

ELEANOR FRIEDBERGER

PERSONAL RECORD, OUT JUNE 4 Friedberger has been on a solo kick for the past few years, ditching her Fiery Furnaces cohort and sibling to do, as she would put it, personal records. “I can’t believe that no one’s made a music album called Personal Record,” Friedberger said. “Either it’s so genius or it’s just so bad that no one would ever want to do it.”

FROM LEFT: TIM MOSENFELDER/GETTY IMAGES; FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES FOR COACHELLA

ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE, OUT MAY 28

If alternative rock has a shot at making a comeback this summer, it’ll be in no small part thanks to Alice in Chains.

Believe it or not, due to a roughly 10-year rocky period, this is only the rock band’s fifth album since their debut in 1987.

THE-DREAM

IV PLAY, OUT MAY 28 Songwriter The-

Dream launched a solo career after co-writing “Umbrella” for another breakout soloist you may know. His fifth album is coming out despite his insistence three years ago that “I am engaged and ‘Love King’ IS going to be my LAST album!”

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE MONKEY BEEN TO BURN TOWN EP, OUT MAY 28 Because the band’s sound isn’t layered enough already, they’re putting out this EP of remixes of their tracks, with

album features collaborators as varied as Trent Reznor and Elton John, and swaps in Dave Grohl on drums for the recently departed Joey Castillo.

PORTUGAL. THE MAN EVIL FRIENDS, OUT JUNE 4

Earlier this year, the psychedelic rock band revealed on their Tumblr that, a.)

Danger Mouse will be producing their forthcoming album, and b.) it will be heavily influenced

by Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.

Excited yet?

ASHANTI

BRAVEHEART, OUT JUNE 4 The stellar debut single from BraveHeart features Busta Rhymes, who sings what we’re thinking: “Ashanti.

We miss you baby.”

FUTURE BIBLE HEROES

PARTYGOING, OUT JUNE 4 The Magnetic Fields’ Stephen Merritt’s electrodisco band is back with a new record, along with a remastered collection of all their work since 1997’s Memories of Love.

WU-TANG CLAN

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

A BETTER TOMORROW, SOMETIME IN JULY

The 90s rockers’ self-produced sixth

RZA, GZA, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, Masta Killa and Method Man are back with a new album to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the group’s groundbreaking debut, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers).

… LIKE CLOCKWORK, OUT JUNE 3

FROM TOP: CHINAFOTOPRESS VIA GETTY IMAGES; KEVIN WINTER/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES

JAGWAR MA

BLACK SABBATH

This Aussie duo’s debut track, “The Throw,” caught the ears of the tastemakers at Pitchfork for its distinctly early 90s, Manchester dance rock sound. We’re counting on this band-to-watch’s debut album to fully transport us to the glory days.

13 will be the heavy metal band’s nineteenth album — and first one since 1995’s Forbidden.

HOWLIN’, OUT JUNE 11

13, OUT JUNE 11

BOARDS OF CANADA

TOMORROW’S HARVEST, OUT JUNE 11 After months of cryptic hints at a new album, this is happening —

Scottish duo Boards of Canada will return to fill our ears with chill beats.

CSS

PLANTA, OUT JUNE 11 Brazilian rock band CSS, aka Cansei de Ser Sexy (tired of being sexy), is back sans multiinstrumentalist Adriano Cintra, who reportedly said he was fed up with his bandmates, who couldn’t even play their own instruments. Ouch.

JIMMY EAT WORLD DAMAGE, OUT JUNE 11

The 90s kings of emo return with their eighth album, and first one they

MAVIS STAPLES

BACKSTREET BOYS

IN A WORLD LIKE THIS, OUT JULY 30 Taking a cue from Wu, the 90s boy band is putting out an album and embarking on a world tour to mark their 20th anniversary. Backstreet’s back! (Sorry, had to.)

won’t complete independently, having partnered with RCA records for the release.

HARRY CONNICK, JR. EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW, OUT JUNE 11

Crooning piano man Harry Connick, Jr. debuted the title track of his new album, “Every Man Should Know,” on American Idol earlier this month, amid rumors that he’ll sit on the judges panel next season. The record is all Connick — music, lyrics and arrangement.

ONE TRUE VINE, OUT JUNE 25

KELLY ROWLAND

The R&B singer’s latest is in step with her last album, You Are Not Alone — once again, the record is produced by Jeff Tweedy (Wilco), and according to Pitchfork, nearly every instrument on it was played by Tweedy and his son, Spencer.

Kelly’s got a team of all-stars behind

TALK A GOOD GAME, OUT JUNE 18

her on this one.

With Pharrell Williams,TheDream, The Runners and Wiz Khalifa, among the collaborators, and Lil Wayne, Beyonce and Michelle Williams on guest vocals, she’s certainly talking a good game. And while we’re on cliches, let’s hope she walks the walk.

EMPIRE OF THE SUN ICE ON THE DUNE, OUT JUNE 18

The Aussie electro duo will up the ante on catchy summer beats with their first effort since their buzzy, MGMT-esque debut, Walking on a Dream.

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PREVIEW ENTERTAINMENT MUSIC

AUSTRA

MGMT

CHRIS BROWN

The Canadian electro musicians’ debut, Feel It Break, was named New York magazine’s best album of 2011. It’s a tough act to follow, but their first single, “Home,” promises more of the same (in a good way).

The beloved psychedelic rockers return after 2010’s lukewarmly received Congratulations (which, for the record, this listener liked).

Aside from the normal anticipation comes some extra pressure: that — as a self-titled third record — some sort of statement will be made.

The rapper everyone loves to hate is back with a new album that’s sure to provoke, not least of which because of his guest vocalist: late-singer Aaliyah.

OLYMPIA, OUT JUNE 18

JOHN LEGEND

TRICKY

LOVE IN THE FUTURE, OUT JUNE 25

FALSE IDOLS, OUT MAY 28

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Trip-hop musician and sprechgesang-ist Tricky blew minds with his debut album, Maxinquaye.

The artist explained his latest, and tenth, record, like so: “This is a better album [than Maxinquaye].” What comes after mind-blowing?

GOODIE MOB

AGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, OUT JUNE 18 Cee-Lo Green, Khujo, T-Mo and Big Gipp reunite for their first record since 2004’s One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show. CeeLo described it as both “future-sounding” and “Public Enemy on acid, the new Black psychedelic experience.”

MAC MILLER

WATCHING MOVIES WITH THE SOUND OFF, OUT JUNE 18 Twenty-one-yearold wunderkind Mac Miller’s follow-

up to 2011’s Blue Slide Park features guest appearances

by Earl Sweatshirt, Snoop Lion and Tyler, The Creator, and production help from master producer Diplo, Flying Lotus and Pharrell Williams.

SIGUR ROS

KVEIKUR, OUT JUNE 18 Iceland’s resident ambient musicians follow 2012’s Valtari by moving in a darker, more aggressive direction on their seventh album.

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Legend said his new album will have the same feel as his first two albums, but take “that sound forward.”

No kidding — the production team on those two albums — Kanye West and Dave Tozer — are behind Love in the Future.

MGMT, SOMETIME IN JUNE

X, OUT JULY 16

PET SHOP BOYS

ELECTRIC, OUT JULY 16 80s synthpop-ers set out to make a dance album with Electric. If

HANSON

ANTHEM, OUT JUNE 18 After a fairly warm reception for Shout It Out in 2010, the 90s boy band-ers are back in the pop game this summer with their ninth album.

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they can succeed at occupying a real space in the electronic music scene, our lives will be complete.

PUSHA T

MY NAME IS MY NAME, OUT JULY 16 Pusha T, half of

hip hop duo Clipse, will release his first solo album with a heavyweight cast of producers — Kanye, The-Dream and Swizz Beatz among them. If that doesn’t intrigue you, try this: The album is based on the 1997 film

Devil’s Advocate.

“Not theme-wise at all, but just in the feel of the album,” Pusha told MTV.

GOGOL BORDELLO

PURA VIDA CONSPIRACY, OUT JULY 23 The gypsy punk rockers (this is a thing) are back with an album “infused with ideas rooted in Eastern philosophy but also search for a means of joining fragmented parts and persons, and of creating a worldwide consciousness.”

THE LONELY ISLAND

THE WACK ALBUM, OUT JUNE 7

And now, for a much-needed injection of humor. The Lonely Island Boys are teasing their summer album like good teases should: Up until the release, they’re putting out a new song or video every Wednesday, hereby known as “Wack Wednesdays.” The Wack Album will feature collaborations by everyone from Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga to Kendrick Lamar and Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong.

What this means to you: The band known for their spectacular live shows will be touring.

J. COLE

BORN SINNER, OUT JUNE 25 Rapper J. Cole’s follow-up to his well-executed debut — 2011’s charttopping Cole World — will feature tracks that didn’t make it onto his first effort. “[They] are automatically going to make this one,” Cole said in 2011.

SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT, OUT AUGUST 6

The funk/soul revivalists’ fifth album is being promoted as one with “sharp danceable funk grooves” — sounds like the right spirit for your end of summer bashes.

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conjures up images of a hot, dry, dusty Texas summer where nothing moves, and the air is unbelievably hot and still.

MOBY’S PERFECT SUMMER

The 90s dance music pioneer returns this summer with a new album, details TBD. In the meantime, he shared with us 10 songs that mean summer to him. anything better than Led Zeppelin on a perfect summer day.”

C FLANIGAN/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (MOBY)

2. PUBLIC ENEMY, “FIGHT THE POWER.” 1. LED ZEPPELIN, “RAMBLE ON.”

I remember riding in the car with my mom when I was 7 or 8 years old and this song came on the radio and the DJ said, “Is there anything better than Led Zeppelin on a perfect summer day?” To which I’d answer, “No, there really isn’t

I moved back to NYC (I was born there, but grew up in Connecticut) in 1988, and the summer I moved back this song was heard everywhere.

Every bar, every car, every night club, every boombox. Maybe because of that, and on some Pavlovian level, I always think of this song as a quintessential summer song.

3. MASSIVE ATTACK, “PROTECTION.”

In 1995 I had an idyllic summer in Berlin, and this song was the recurring soundtrack.

I remember lying in bed with my thengirlfriend, and the apartment we were staying in had big, open windows, and it was amazingly warm for Berlin, and this song has never sounded more perfect.

4. THE STYLE COUNCIL, “LONG HOT SUMMER.” An obvious choice, maybe, but I reserve the right to be obvious. And sometimes obvious choices (like orange juice for breakfast) are the best ones.

5. THE GUN CLUB, “MOTHER OF EARTH.”

The Gun Club’s album Miami is one of the best records ever made, and this song always

6. THE VERVE, “BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY.”

In 2000 I was spending a lot of time in the UK, playing festivals and concerts, and somehow the weather in the UK was amazing (which, sadly, isn’t often the case). I remember hearing this song over and over again at Glastonbury (in the car park, at Joe Strummer’s camp, on boomboxes, etc.), and it just seemed like the most perfect song for that perfect summer.

8. THE DOORS, “THE CRYSTAL SHIP.” I remember going on a date in L.A. years ago.

It was the middle of summer, we drove up to Mulholland, sat in her pickup overlooking the valley, and this song came on the radio. It felt like gravity weakened. Everything on the planet started floating out to space a little bit.

9. THE STROKES, “IS THIS IT.”

If you’re ever wandering around New York City at 5:30 a.m on a summer morning after a long night out, and you hear this song as the sun is coming up, I can almost guarantee it will make perfect sense to you, and you will be happy.

10. THE DOORS, “L.A. WOMAN.” 7. LED ZEPPELIN, “GOING TO CALIFORNIA.”

Once again, “is there anything better than Led Zeppelin on a perfect summer day?” Once again, “no, there isn’t.”

Eh, what the hell, another Doors song.

I reserve the right to be repetitive. L.A. is a weird city, it’s my new home, and it’s always kind of summer here.

This is a perfect song about the baffling strangeness and disconcerting beauty of L.A.

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Q&A

PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TK

ENTERTAINMENT FILM

For Greta Gerwig, It’s the Best Time to Be a Woman

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Q&A

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F GRETA GERWIG and Noah Baumbach are the modern day Diane Keaton and Woody Allen, then Frances Ha is their Annie Hall, except with the color palette of Manhattan.

Shot in relative anonymity, the black-and-white film focuses on the title character (played by Gerwig), a struggling 28-year-old modern dancer coming of age in New York. ¶ Gerwig and Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) co-wrote Frances Ha together, giving the film an infectious blend of energetic pathos. (Their on- and off-screen relationship was documented in a recent New Yorker profile.) Gerwig, 29, spoke to The Huffington Post about the film’s hushhush origins, her thoughts on fellow 2013 indie sensation Spring Breakers, and whether things are getting better for female writers in Hollywood. — Christopher Rosen

Greta Gerwig and Adam Driver (Girls) share a laugh in a scene from Frances Ha.

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You and Noah have discussed how Frances Ha wound up being a secret project.

Was that secrecy intentional? We didn’t set out and say, “Don’t tell anyone about this.” Part of that was just functional with how we were shooting it. We shot this over a long period of time. We were presenting it to [the actors] as, “Here are the pages that you’re in, but you don’t know how it fits together.” So we were just calling it the Untitled Noah Baumbach Project. But then there was a point where we realized no one knew about it, and then we did make the active decision of, “Let’s not talk about it.” It felt like you so rarely get the opportunity to do something that people don’t know about. I love that experience. I try to give myself that experience with films very often. I love reading intelligent criticism about films, but I try not to do it beforehand. I try to almost go into the theater with nothing. It’s hard to create that experience in this day and age. That said, I’m certainly glad that people know about the movie now.

Unfortunately, it’s kind of a one-shot thing. Your next project with Noah, Untitled Public School Project, was discussed at length in that New Yorker

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profile. You can’t do that again. I know. We talked about it because we were like, “Should we not?”

Then we were like, “It doesn’t matter. People will know.” It’s fine. The thing is, though, that we did get that film pretty much done. So it’s like, “Well, it exists!”

Whenever people say, ‘Oh do you wish you had been born in a different time?’ It’s like, ‘Not as a woman.’ As a woman, pretty much now is the best time.”

After the New York Film Festival screening of Frances Ha last year, Noah compared the film to a pop song. I love that designation, and think it’s a budding trend. This film, Spring Breakers... That was like a fucked-up pop song. I simultaneously loved it and hated it. It’s so weird, but I’m so impressed that made as much of an impact and has done as well as it did. I’m so glad for it, because it is so weird. Deeply weird. I loved it.

You’re sort of like, “I feel sick and I kind of can’t believe this, and it’s hilarious, but I also feel dirty, like I want to take a bath.”

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COPYRIGHT PINE DISTRICT, LLC.

Exactly. Not that Frances Ha is like Spring Breakers... No, no, make that comparison. ... but was the goal in the writing process to make the film as poppy as possible? One of the things that’s interesting about the movie is it was much sadder on the page. It was bleaker on the page. When I was acting it, however, I found this broadly physical comedic performance inside myself, which I didn’t know I was going to do.

It really lightened everything. It made it feel like it was floating. It felt sparse and taut on the page and then once it was given to the

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actors — me and everyone else — it felt like it started bubbling.

It’s hard to explain totally, but it’s really exciting when you give it to people and you’re like, “Oh, it’s working.” It almost feels like the spell worked. It also helps that the actors we chose are all really great. We didn’t want to make a movie that felt heavy, but I don’t think we knew just how effervescent it would feel.

This is obviously a very personal film for you: Your parents play Frances’ parents; you’re working with Noah; you’ve done all this press. As an actress, do you ever feel that you’re jeopardizing a sense of

“I found this broadly physical comedic performance in myself,” Gerwig said.

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mystery by putting yourself out there like this? I don’t know that mystery has ever been my strong suit as a person, so I don’t feel like I’m giving up some Garbo-esque reclusion.

In some ways I feel safer with this movie exposing myself because it’s so written and structured. It was pored over and made as perfect as possible on the page, so I felt like I could put my parents in it as found people. It didn’t feel exposing as much as it felt like, “Oh, this is a really good and true detail I can add in now that I know I have this superstructure around it.” But I feel like if I was making a movie that was just improvised and just on the fly, I would never put them in it. It would feel much too much like, those are my people and this is my life.

I don’t know, though, that the films I’d like to make would benefit from reticence. Sometimes I try to cultivate it but it feels so fake for me. Whenever I think, “Oh, just be boring and don’t say anything about it,” I remember growing up in Sacramento where my only access to knowing films and actors were in interviews or books. I used to go find those things. I feel like because of how much I benefited

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from people just talking about how they did things, I owe it to my young self to be open about it. I even read my contemporaries who are younger than me — I read what they say. I’m fascinated. Then I’ll have some experience with an art-

I think it’s one of the tragedies of people who make things: They really do care more than anybody else what people think. You have to have a weird combination of caring and not caring to actually get something done.” ist who I think is great, and they will not talk about anything and I’ll think, “God, they have it right.

You shouldn’t talk!”

You mention contemporaries, and I know you’re planning to direct a film in the future. Do you look at how harsh the media can be on female writers and directors — like the kind of visceral criticism levied at Lena Dunham — and worry that could also happen to you? I hope it doesn’t happen to me because I have very thin skin. I wish I was

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one of those people who was like, “Fuck all y’all! I’m going to do it anyway.” But I’m totally not that person. I’m so affected by what people think. I think it’s one of the tragedies of people who make things: They really do care more than anybody else what people think. You have to have a weird combination of caring and not caring to actually get something done. I think what’s really amazing about right now, though, [is the opportunity]. Whenever people say, “Oh do you wish you had been born in a different time?”

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It’s like, “Not as a woman.” As a woman, pretty much now is the best time. It’s only gotten better in the last 100 years, and I feel the more women who are writing and directing and running companies and doing everything, the less it’s going to be an object of scorn and fear and judgment.

Because it will be less spectacular. I think as we continue it will just keep getting easier for women to do it. Hopefully, my sistas and I absorb the scorn together!

[Laughs] It’s hard, but we’re all in this together.

Gerwig at the photo call for Frances Ha at the Berlin International Film Festival in Feburary.

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’00 ’01 ’02 ’03 ’04 ’05 ’06 ’07 ’08 ’09 ’10 ’11 ’12 ’13

The Most Unoriginal Summer Ever At the multiplex this summer, old is new. Sometimes quite literally: On May 10, Warner Bros. released The Great Gatsby, Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel of the same name. Luhrmann’s version — shot in blockbuster-approved 3D — is the fourth theatrical adaptation of The Great Gatsby, something that puts the film in league with a cadre of sequels (Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, The Hangover Part III) and reboots (Man of Steel, The Lone Ranger) on the 2013 release calendar.

Even the new movies set to debut this summer aren’t that new in theme — they’re pretty familiar territory. The Internship, with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, only looks like a sequel to the duo’s 2006 comedy, Wedding Crashers; similarly, After Earth and White House Down are not remakes of, respectively, Oblivion and Olympus Has Fallen, two films that hit theaters just this spring. This year, the window on Hollywood repetition barely seems to last more than three months. – Christopher Rosen

DESPINA SPYROU/COURTESY OF SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

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Julie Delpy and Richard Linklater on Hating Each Other DELPY: We have to be supportive, it’s more like a team ... We have to put our ego aside.

LINKLATER: That said, it is exhausting when it’s over.

DELPY: Yeah, it takes nine years to recover.

Delpy and Ethan Hawke in scenes from Before Midnight, the third film in a series directed by Linklater that follows the film couple over 18 years, out in wide release June 14.

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It’s the Biggest, Loudest Time of Year ©2013 WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. AND LEGENDARY PICTURES FUNDING, LLC

BY CHRISTOPHER ROSEN

N MAY 3, Disney and Marvel opened Hollywood’s most lucrative four months of the year with Iron Man 3, a sequel to 2010’s Iron Man 2 that takes place after the events of Marvel’s The Avengers. (It’s not as confusing as that might sound.) If you think Iron Man 3 is the only

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game in town this summer, however, films like Fast and Furious 6, The Hangover Part III, Man of Steel, The Lone Ranger and Grown Ups would likely beg to differ. In short, from May 3 until Labor Day weekend, Hollywood studios are ready to unfurl their biggest — and loudest — offerings of the year.

Henry Cavill stars as Superman in the Zack Snyderdirected Man of Steel.

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NOW YOU SEE ME

THE KINGS OF SUMMER

Magic bank robbers!

No, really: Now You See Me is about magicians who rob banks. The cast is impressive here: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Isla Fisher, Melanie Laurent, Woody Harrelson and Dave Franco.

Formerly called Toy’s House, The Kings Of Summer focuses on three friends who build a house in the woods after running away from home.

Think Stand by Me, The Goonies and The Tree of Life, but with Ron Swanson as costar. (Nick Offerman plays one of the boys’ dads.) This excellent indie debuted at Sundance.

(MAY 31)

AFTER EARTH (MAY 31)

(MAY 31)

FROM LEFT: © 2012 COLUMBIA PICTURES INDUSTRIES, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.; © 2013 COLUMBIA PICTURES INDUSTRIES, INC

Will and Jaden Smith star in this post-apocalyptic thriller from M. Night Shyamalan.

EPIC ( MAY 24 )

FAST AND FURIOUS

THE EAST (MAY 31)

From Ice Age director Chris Wedge comes an action-adventure about good and evil and all that stuff.

What you’ll want to note is the bananas vocal cast: Beyonce, Pitbull, Steven Tyler, Josh Hutcherson, Amanda Seyfried, Aziz Ansari, Christoph Waltz, Chris O’Dowd and Jason Sudeikis.

The movie that will make you believe a car can drive through the cockpit of an exploding plane.

Alexander Skarsgard, Ellen Page and Brit Marling star in this Fight Club-y thriller about environmvental terrorists and the law enforcement agent (Marling) who infiltrates their ranks.

(MAY 24)

BEFORE MIDNIGHT (MAY 24)

The third film in Richard Linklater’s Before franchise (following Before Sunrise and Before Sunset), Before Midnight is one of 2013’s best movies thus far. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy reprise their roles, respectively, as Jesse and Celine.

THIS IS THE END (JUNE 14) Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Jay Baruchel, Michael Cera, Emma Watson and dozens of other stars play themselves (“themselves”) in Rogen’s directorial debut, an all-out, R-rated apocalypse comedy. (Rogen co-wrote and co-directed with Evan Goldberg, his Superbad collaborator.) This Is The End has the most lol-worthy trailer of the year. (NSFW, of course.)

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THE INTERNSHIP (JUNE 7)

Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson reunite for the first time since 2005’s Wedding Crashers for The Internship, a comedy about two middle-aged guys taking internships at Google. Is it OK to say that this looks really funny?

Cool, thanks.

THE HANGOVER PART III (MAY 24)

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY

It all ends. Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, John Goodman and Melissa McCarthy star.

(JUNE 21)

Mike and Sully are back in this prequel to Monsters, Inc. Expect bank.

I’M SO EXCITED (JUNE 28)

Get excited: This is Pedro Almodovar’s first film in two years.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING (JUNE 7) Joss Whedon takes on Shakespeare in this modern-day adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing.

A charming diversion with no superheros in sight.

DESPICABLE ME 2 (JULY 3)

Despicable Me 2; or, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. (It’s going to make a lot of money.)

THE WAY WAY BACK

PACIFIC RIM

From Oscar-winning screenwriters Nat Faxon and Jim Rash (The Descendants), The Way Way Back looks like the type of charming indie that Fox Searchlight normally releases during the summertime.

That’s probably why the studio spent $10 million to acquire the film — co-starring Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell, Maya Rudolph and more — at the Sundance Film Festival in January.

Robots vs. monsters!

Guillermo Del Toro directs what will be your geeky cousin’s favorite movie of 2013.

JULY 5)

MAN OF STEEL (JUNE 14)

GROWN UPS 2

Meet Henry Cavill, the soon-to-be star of this Superman redux, who shoulda woulda coulda been a star countless times before.

Cavill was up for parts as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, Edward Cullen in Twilight and James Bond in Casino Royale, and was called the “Unluckiest Man in Hollywood” by Empire in 2005.

Well, here’s proof ’13 can be a lucky number.

Because you’ve always wanted to see a deer pee on Adam Sandler’s face.

(JULY 12)

(JULY 12)

CRYSTAL FAIRY (JULY 12)

Michael Cera plays an American jerk searching for a mystical high in this Sundance comedy.

THE CONJURING (JULY 19)

This movie is so scary that the MPAA gave it an R-rating despite a lack of violence or bloodshed.

Translation: Too scary.

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THE HEAT The Heat was supposed to come out on April 5, but Fox was so happy with the film that the studio moved Paul Feig’s comedy into the heart of the summer. The red-band trailer helps explain that decision. (It’s the best.)

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy star.

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GIRL MOST LIKELY (JULY 19)

Kristen Wiig, Darren Criss and Annette Bening star in this comedydrama about a New Jersey native (Wiig) who returns home to live with her mother (Bening) after faking a suicide attempt.

TURBO

(JULY 19)

R.I.P.D.

FROM LEFT: GEMMA LA MANA/ TM AND © 2013 TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION; COURTESY OF A24

(JULY 19) Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds star in this highconcept adaptation of the graphic novel of the same name. From IMDb: “A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him.”

2 GUNS (AUG. 2) Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg team up to star in what should be the best movie ever.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE (AUG. 2) Because you’ve always wanted to see a sequel to 300.

FRUITVALE (JULY 26) The Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize winner for 2013 tells the story of Oscar Grant (played by Michael B. Jordan), a Bay Area resident who was shot and killed by police on New Year’s Day in 2009.

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Fun with real log lines: “A freak accident might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream: winning the Indy 500.”

ELYSIUM

WE’RE THE MILLERS

Matt Damon and Jodie Foster star in Neill Blomkamp’s first film since 2009’s District 9.

Get excited now.

Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis and Ed Helms star in this comedy about a pot dealer who uses a family to transport his drug supply into the United States from Mexico.

(AUG. 9)

(AUG. 9)

BLUE JASMINE (JULY 26)

Woody Allen’s annual film stars Cate Blanchett, Bobby Cannavale, Alec Baldwin, Louis C.K. and Andrew Dice Clay.

KICK-ASS 2 (AUG. 16)

Chloe Moretz, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Jim Carrey star in this sequel to Kick-Ass.

THE BLING RING (JUNE 14) Sofia Coppola’s take on the notorious Burglar Bunch, a group of Los Angeles teens who robbed from stars like Paris Hilton. Emma Watson and this movie for all the wins.

FROM TOP: DISNEY ENTERPRISES, INC. AND JERRY BRUCKHEIMER INC.; JAAP BUITENDIJK/ © 2011 PARAMOUNT PICTURES.

AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS (AUG. 16)

Rooney Mara and Casey Affleck star in Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, another film that made waves at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

THE TO-DO LIST (AUG. 16)

Aubrey Plaza stars in this R-rated comedy about a young woman looking to become a sexual pro before college.

WORLD WAR Z (JUNE 21) Originally set for release last December, World War Z finally arrives in theaters this June. Will the Brad Pitt film overcome a troubled production (including lastminute rewrites and reported fights between Pitt and director Marc Forster) and find its audience? Since zombies are so hot right now (Zoolander reference), don’t bet against that happening.

THE LONE RANGER (JULY 3) Disney’s $250 million gamble: will audiences want to see The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp when Johnny Depp isn’t playing The Lone Ranger? (He’s Tonto.) Gore Verbinksi (the Pirates franchise) directs, so don’t be surprised if the answer is yes.

THE WORLD’S END (AUG. 23)

Director Edgar Wright and stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team together for a third time with

The World’s End, an apocalypse comedy set in England. Their previous efforts were Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz so put this on your radar.

THE WOLVERINE (JULY 26)

Hope it’s better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

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Will a Stephen King Book Finally Be a Popular TV Series?

IVEN STEPHEN KING’S status as one of the best-selling authors of all time, it’s surprising that his work hasn’t been more successful on screens large and small. There have been well-regarded film adaptations such as Stand By Me, Misery, Carrie and The Shawshank Redemption, of course, but quite a few movie misfires as well. On the small screen, crowd-pleasing adaptations of King’s work have been even more rare, which is especially odd, given TV’s current obsession with dark themes and edgy, blood-spattered fare.¶ Of course, there’s much more to King than horror, and one

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Brian K. Vaughan, writer and executive producer of Under the Dome, a Stephen King adaptation coming to CBS.

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MICHAEL TACKTT/ ©2013 CBS BROADCASTING INC.

of his late-period novels, Under the Dome, is as much a political allegory and environmental call to arms as it as a tale of small-town survival. The premise is right there in the title: One day, a town is encased in a dome that appears out of nowhere. No one knows why it’s there, and nobody can get out.¶ To adapt the work as a drama series that debuts June 24, CBS found a writer who knows from allegories.

Brian K. Vaughan — creator of the acclaimed graphic novels Y: The Last Man and Saga, and one of the writers of Lost — penned the pilot for Under the Dome and serves as one of its executive producers. Vaughan talked to The Huffington Post about the challenges of adapting King’s dense novel for television. — Maureen Ryan

Stephen King on the set of Under the Dome.

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Can you talk about how you became involved in the TV adaptation of Under the Dome? I’d actually heard from a friend that Stephen King namechecks [me in the book]. So I read the book largely out of my own giant ego to begin with, but also because I’m a tremendous Stephen King fan.

As I was reading it, looking for my own name, I was also falling in love with the story. I thought it was so compelling and I loved the world.

When I heard that DreamWorks wanted to use the book as a launching pad to tell this story as an ongoing series, not as a miniseries, that’s when I got excited. I loved the book, but I didn’t want to just tell it over again and do a literal adaptation. For a while [the TV show was developed for] Showtime, and they were great. They were really supportive of it, and [then they headed] sort of in the Homeland direction, and maybe something that was genre wasn’t a great fit. But [Showtime president] David Nevins kindly called CBS and said, “Hey, maybe you guys should take a look at this.” And it came together very quickly at CBS. There are quite a few Stephen King movie and TV adaptations out there, and I don’t

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think I’m being too harsh by saying that not a lot of them are actually top-tier or do a great job of capturing what people love about his work. Why do you think that is? Well, I think any adaptation is hard. I think it’s always tough when you jump from one medium to another, particularly with hor-

I’d actually heard from a friend that Stephen King namechecks [me in the book].

So I read the book largely out of my own giant ego to begin with.” ror. In a novel, you get to make that monster in your head, and in film and TV, there’s no hiding behind your audience’s imagination.

You have to show it, and you definitely lose something.

But at the same time, there have been adaptations like Stand

by Me, which is exquisite. It just so perfectly captures what was great about that book and did something new with it as well.

I think Stephen King is probably not a huge fan of Kubrick’s Shining, but I loved that movie and I loved that book. I can see

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©2013 CBS BROADCASTING INC.

why they both work even though they’re very different.

Given how dominant he is in the realm of books, I guess it’s somewhat surprising that his work isn’t more dominant in other arenas as well. Do you think there’s something particular to his work that makes it quite difficult for that translation to work well on a consistent basis? Take something like Under the Dome — it has a hooky, accessible, highconcept [premise]. But I think Stephen’s books are always much more complex than that. Maybe on the surface, it looks like [the high-concept ideas] will translate easily, but they don’t. There’s a lot lurking underneath, and I think that’s why Stephen King is so

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popular. He’s much more than just plots or cool concepts.

His novels are emotionally immersive in a way that I think everyone who reads him understand it. But I think people who don’t read Stephen King — they just think of horror and the scares. But there’s a real, aggressive humanity to his work. He just loves people so much, and it really comes through.

When you sat down to work on this, how did you begin to think about whittling it down and making it work as an ongoing TV series? I was lucky enough to get to talk with Stephen early in the process. He said, to quote Elvis, “It’s your baby. You rock it now.”

The big thing he encouraged us [to

A shot of the trapped town in Under the Dome, premiering June 24.

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think about] is, when he came up with the concept, he first thought about, “What if these people were trapped under this dome for potentially years, how might society change?” [When writing the book], he was on page 1,200 and thought, “Oh my God, they’ve only been trapped under here for a few days. I better wrap things up.” He said, “Use television to go to the places that I couldn’t.” So when I sat down to write the pilot, it was just trying to capture the heart of the book while also having the freedom to know that we’re allowed to go to different places.

Were there changes between Showtime and CBS? They’re very different networks in terms of the audiences they’re pursuing. Were there directives to change things? Shockingly few. The whole appeal of doing something like this was getting to do a darker, edgier, more adult kind of event show. And so I was worried when I heard the Tiffany network was interested. I thought, “This has got cows getting cut in half! Maybe this won’t be for them.” But CBS was really enthusiastic from the beginning, and said, “We want to compete with cable. We don’t

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want to cede the summers to them. We want to do shows that I have a bit more of an edge.” So there was very little change from the Showtime version to CBS.

I think people who don’t read Stephen King — they just think of horror and the scares. But there’s a real, aggressive humanity to his work. He just loves people so much, and it really comes through.”

Stephen King has talked about ecological themes and the political allegories he worked into Under the Dome. Could you talk a little bit about how those elements work within the show? Yeah. I hope that they’re all in there and yet it will never feel preachy or heavyhanded. Again, one of the reasons I love Stephen King is because his stories let you talk about big, challenging concepts, like class structure, like distribution of resources, like the environment. But you’re doing it in a really fun, fast-paced, exciting way — you get to talk about these ideas without feeling you’re being preachy. If anything, [the feeling] was to push the

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ideas even further. [The writers have talked] about guns under the dome, and getting to do a thoughtful story about gun control in the confines of this otherworldly dome has been very exciting.

MICHAEL BUCKNER/GETTY IMAGES

There’s obviously a big debate right now about violence in entertainment. I would assume that, given that these people are trapped in a very tense situation, there is violence in Under the Dome. Yes, I would be lying if I said our show had no violence. It’s a Stephen King show, and we’re on at 10 p.m., so we don’t want to pull any punches.

But the violence is never used for spectacle, or for thrills. From the pilot onward, violence always has grave consequences for everyone.

And I think the role that violence has, not just in our society, but in the burgeoning democracy [of Under the Dome is worth exploring].

So this isn’t necessarily a one-and-done season? It could continue? Yeah. We treat this as if we are writing the first season of an ongoing series, not a TV miniseries. So it will be up to the audience and we hope they show up and want more, but we certainly do. We have really long-term plans for this.

Does it make you nervous that it’s on in the summer? It doesn’t scare me at all.

It’s exciting. And I know with [a deal CBS cut with Amazon.com], episodes are going to be available online four days after they air. I think all you can do is make a good show and hope that the things work out.

What has been the most fun part of making this so far? I got to sit in a room with Stephen King on speakerphone while I was sitting across from Steven Spielberg. We’re all just batting around ideas — that is geek fantasy camp. That is a highlight of my life.

Vaughan (right) with writers Alex Tse (left) and Travis Beacham at a Hollywood Reporter party in 2008.

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SAM URDANK/COURTESY OF NETFLIX

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48 Reasons to Never Leave Your Couch

BY THE HUFFPOST TV STAFF

OU MAY HAVE been planning to use this summer to catch up on the TV shows backlogged on your DVR, but more than 80 series are premiering between May and August.

There’s the return of fan-favorites — Breaking Bad and Dexter, both of which are coming to an end; new series like ABC’s soapy Mistresses and Lifetime’s Marc

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Cherry-created Devious Maids; reality TV mainstays like Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which will feature the build-up to the summer’s most anticipated arrival: baby Kimye; and resurrected cult classic comedy Arrested Development, streaming on Netflix. Ahead, get the scoop on the most promising new shows and old favorites premiering this summer.

A new season of Arrested Development returns May 26 on Netflix.

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SEASON 4 PREMIERES MON., MAY 26 AT 12:01 A.M. PT. WHERE WE LEFT OFF:

The Bluths are finally back, but there’s no telling where and how we’ll actually find them. One thing we do know: Each of the nine main characters will have their own episode in this season’s 15-episode order, chronicling what they’ve been up to the last seven years.

LONGMIRE

(A&E) SEASON 2 PREMIERES MON., MAY 27 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Did Walt

Longmire murder his wife’s killer?

Season 1 saw flashbacks of the Sheriff of Absaroka County, Wyoming, that would support the theory, but when the FBI asked him in the Season 1 finale, he simply said, “No.”

PRINCESSES: LONG ISLAND

(BRAVO) SERIES PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 2 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

FROM LEFT: COURTESY OF NETFLIX; CAROLE SEGAL/AMC

PUSH GIRLS

(SUNDANCE CHANNEL) SEASON 2 PREMIERES MON., JUNE 3 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Throughout

Season 1 we got to know Auti, Mia, Tiphany and Chelsie, four women living in Hollywood who also happen to all be in wheelchairs. Season 2 will follow the foursome’s new loves and new adventures, including 21-year-old Chelsie’s decision to move out of her parents’ home.

BROOKLYN DA

(CBS) SERIES PREMIERES TUES., MAY 28 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW: The

six-part series takes viewers behind the scenes of the Brooklyn District Attorney’s office.

ADA Kathleen Collins is just one of the profiled attorneys. “When you’re on trial, there’s never a day that you really go home and don’t feel stressed,” she says.

The reality series follows six collegeeducated women from affluent areas of Long Island who are still living with their families.

PRISONERS OF WAR SEASON 2 PREMIERES TUES., MAY 28 ON HULU

The award-winning Israeli TV series that inspired Homeland will be airing its second season on Hulu. The show features two men released from prison after 17 years and their struggle with returning to normal life — and the realization of something bigger brewing below the surface.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY

(BRAVO) SEASON 5 PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 2 AT 8 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: The housewives

were fractured, but the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy brings new beginnings for the first ladies of the Garden State.

Of course, things could certainly go sour again.

THE KILLING

(AMC) SEASON 3 PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 2 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Season 2 ended with

Rosie Larsen’s Aunt Terry being arrested for her murder. Detectives Linden (Mireille Enos) and Holder (Joel Kinnaman) got a call about a new case, but Linden wanted no part of it.

Season 3 picks up a year later, with Holder searching for a runaway girl and discovering a string of murders connected to one of Linden’s old cases. Though Linden is no longer a detective, she inevitably gets pulled back in.

JOHN P. JOHNSON/COURTESY OF HBO

GRACELAND

(USA) SERIES PREMIERES THURS., JUNE 6 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

This cop drama, starring Daniel Sunjata and Aaron Tveit, follows a special group of law enforcement agents from the FBI, the DEA and U.S. Customs who all live under the same roof in sunny Southern California. Like frat guys (and girls), but with badges.

THE FOSTERS

(ABC FAMILY) SERIES PREMIERES MON., JUNE 3 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

This new onehour drama from executive producer Jennifer Lopez follows a multiethnic, blended family, being raised by two working moms, as they welcome another troubled child into their home.

MISTRESSES

(ABC) SERIES PREMIERES MON., JUNE 3 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

Alyssa Milano, Yunjin Kim, Rochelle Aytes and Jes Macallan star as four friends all struggling with different issues in their love lives, with men (including Jason George) and other women complicating matters. As the title suggests, some of them are flirting with disaster and having affairs of their own.

EAST LOS HIGH

SERIES PREMIERES MON., JUNE 3 ON HULU WHAT TO KNOW: A

high school in East L.A. is the stage for a troubled teen love triangle in this Hulu exclusive series — the first English language show with an all-Latino cast on the site.

TRUE BLOOD

(HBO) SEASON 6 PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 16 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Season 5 ended with Sookie’s fight

against Steve Newlin and Russell Edgington, Eric’s attempt to escape with Nora and the end of TruBlood and mainstreaming vampires. In Season 6, the war between humans and vampires rages on and, yes, even more blood will be shed.

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS (ABC FAMILY) SEASON 4 PREMIERES TUES., JUNE 11 AT 8 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Red Coat, who

looked a whole lot like Ali, saved Emily, Aria, Hanna and Mona from a fire, while Spencer looked on in shock.

The first episode of Season 4 is titled “A Is For A-L-I-V-E” and E! News reports that viewers will meet Marion, Toby’s mother, who was revealed to be dead in Season 3, Episode 18, “Dead To Me.” “All of the questions fans have will be answered,” star Sasha Pieterse told Wetpaint Entertainment recently of Season 4.

THE HERO

72 HOURS

WHAT TO KNOW:

WHAT TO KNOW:

(TNT) SERIES PREMIERES THURS., JUNE 6 AT 8 P.M. ET. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is producing this competition series to test the strength, courage and integrity of a diverse group of nine individuals.

Each week, the contestants will be challenged physically, mentally and morally as they try to prove that they truly deserve the title of “The Hero” and the lifechanging grand prize that goes with it.

(TNT) SERIES PREMIERES THURS., JUNE 6 AT 9 P.M. ET. Contestants on this Survivor-esque reality show are dropped into the wilderness with only a bottle of water and a GPS device on a mission to find a briefcase filled with $100,000.

MOONE BOY

SERIES PREMIERE, HULU, JULY 10 This Hulu exclusive is written by and stars Chris O’Dowd (Bridesmaids, The IT Crowd) as the imaginary friend of an 11-year-old boy growing up in a loud family in 1980s Ireland.

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ENTERTAINMENT TV

of the condo board; Donald Faison’s Clueless girlfriend Stacey Dash will play Dana, a recommitted virgin who begins dating Phil; and Lisa Ann Walter will play Margo, Haskell’s ex-wife.

UNDER THE DOME

(CBS) SERIES PREMIERES MON., JUNE 24 AT 10 P.M. ET WHAT TO KNOW:

winter, Hank is ready to get back to work this summer, but HankMed is busier than ever. Go On star Laura Benanti recurs.

Based on the Stephen King novel, this high-concept drama explores what happens when an impenetrable dome inexplicably traps the inhabitants of a small town.

Some will rise to the occasion, while others will fall to their base instincts.

The 13-episode first season stars Mike Vogel, Rachelle Lefevre and Breaking Bad’s Dean Norris.

THE EXES

PERCEPTION

WHERE WE LEFT OFF:

WHERE WE LEFT OFF:

HOT IN CLEVELAND

(TV LAND) SEASON 5 PREMIERES WED., JUNE 19 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: This season, expect more big guest

stars like George Hamilton, Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Craig Ferguson, who’ll play Joy’s first love (and the father of Owen, whom she gave up for adoption).

SINBAD

(SYFY) SERIES PREMIERES SAT., JUNE 8 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

COURTESY OF TVLAND

The 12-episode British series follows the epic sea journey of the flawed hero Sinbad (Elliot Knight), who embarks on a quest to rid himself of a curse and embrace his destiny. Look for Lost alum Naveen Andrews as Lord Akbari.

KING & MAXWELL

(TNT) SERIES PREMIERES MON., JUNE 10 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

Based on author David Baldacci’s bestselling

private eye series, Rebecca Romijn and Jon Tenney star as the titular former Secret Service agents now working as private investigators who aren’t always by-the-books.

ROYAL PAINS

(USA) SEASON 5 PREMIERES WED., JUNE 12 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Evan and

Paige’s bachelor and bachelorette parties both ended up being in Vegas, making for a comical Season 4 finale. Now, after recuperating from brain surgery all

(TV LAND) SEASON 3 PREMIERES WED., JUNE 19 AT 10:30 P.M. ET. Season 2 ended with the gang crashing a party on Phil’s boss’ yacht, where Eden went into labor.

Season 3 guest stars are already lining up: She’s All That star Jodi Lyn O’Keefe will play a sex shop employee; Will & Grace’s Leslie Jordan will play the president

(TNT) SEASON 2 PREMIERES TUES., JUNE 25 AT 10 P.M. ET. Eric McCormack’s schizophrenic neuropsychiatrist Dr. Daniel Pierce checked himself into a mental institution, believing that he hallucinated the murder of a young boy. Turned out, the murder was real.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SERIES PREMIERES THURS., JULY 11 ON NETFLIX

This Netflix original series created by the showrunner of Showtime’s Weeds, Jenji Kohan, is a comedy-drama set in a women’s prison, starring Taylor Schilling, Jason Biggs, Kate Mulgrew, Natasha Lyonne and Pablo Schreiber.

AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR (NBC) SEASON 5 PREMIERES MON., JULY 1 AT 8 P.M. ET.

WHERE WE LEFT OFF: No American

has completed the final course so far, and only three people in the world have succeeded.

The action-packed series follows competitors as they tackle the world’s most difficult obstacle courses in qualifying and finals rounds across the country. Those who successfully complete a course in each city move on to the national finals round in Las Vegas, where they face a stunning four-stage course modeled after the famed Mt. Midoriyama in Japan.

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GET OUT ALIVE

(NBC) SERIES PREMIERES MON., JULY 8 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

NBC’s new adventure-reality series follows Man vs. Wild’s Bear Grylls as he leads a non-stop extreme survival journey that tests 10 teams of two beyond their wildest imaginations on New Zealand’s South Island.

CAMP

(NBC) SERIES PREMIERES WED., JULY 10 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

NBC’s 10-episode summer series

JIM FISCUS/SHOWTIME

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follows the antics of teens at a lakeside summer camp run by director Mackenzie Greenfield (Rachel Griffiths).

THE NEWSROOM

WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?

the News Night newsroom was involved in some kind of romantic web as they reported on the biggest stories from very

(THE CW) SERIES PREMIERES TUES., JULY 16 AT 8 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

The revamped CW version of the early 2000s improv comedy favorite will feature the return of Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady and Colin Mochrie and will be hosted by Aisha Tyler.

(HBO) SEASON 2 PREMIERES SUN., JULY 14 AT 10 P.M. ET.

WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Everyone in

recent history; the corporate bosses finally backed off Will McAvoy; and the college student with the optimistic question who kicked off McAvoy’s seasonlong trajectory into noble-news anchoring will now be an intern. That won’t complicate things at all.

HELL ON WHEELS

(AMC) SEASON 3 PREMIERES SAT., AUGUST 3 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Former

Confederate soldier Cullen Bohannan abandoned his revenge mission and planted his red flag on the Union Pacific Railroad.

DEXTER

(SHOWTIME) SEASON 8 PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 30 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Deb finally learned the truth about

Dexter’s dark secret, and took a page out of her stepbrother’s book in the shocking season finale. Can she live with what she did? And can Dexter escape the series without being brought to justice in this final season?

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BREAKING BAD

(AMC) THE FINAL HALFSEASON PREMIERES SUN., AUG. 11 AT 10 P.M. ET.

PERFECT SCORE

(THE CW) SERIES PREMIERES TUES., JULY 16 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

RAY DONOVAN

FROM TOP: JEFF RIEDEL/SHOWTIME; ERIK OSTLING/2012 THE CW NETWORK, LLC.

(SHOWTIME) SERIES PREMIERES SUN., JUNE 30 AT 10 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW: Set in the sprawling mecca of the rich and famous, Ray Donovan does the dirty work for LA’s top power players.

The one-hour drama series stars Liev Schreiber as the go-to guy who makes the problems of the city’s elite disappear, like a male Olivia Pope for the Hollywood set.

THE HUNT

(THE CW) SERIES PREMIERES WED., JULY 31 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHAT TO KNOW:

Move over, Katniss Everdeen.

In this intense new wilderness competition, 12 teams of two will enter “The Arena,” a fenced-in enclosure

in the middle of the wild, where they must live for one month and compete against each other for scarce resources. With $250,000 on the line, it’s a winner-take-all battle in which the teams must hunt each other down to survive.

Vampire Diaries star Arielle Kebbel will host the halfhour dating game series, which features two friends competing to see who can pick their ideal mate from a group of 12 singles.

Everyone takes a compatibility test beforehand, and each possible match is assigned a cash value. So the player who selects the most compatible single — and who also has the highest dollar amount — nabs both the date and the money.

WHERE WE LEFT OFF: Walter White’s

meth empire is bigger than ever, but the walls are closing in after Hank’s toilet seat discovery.

Walt has been able to evade the DEA and rival dealers through five-anda-half seasons so far, but the series’ final episodes could depict his downfall.

THE AWESOMES

SERIES PREMIERES THURS., AUG. 1 ON HULU In this animated Hulu original series, the son of Mr. Awesome — voiced by Seth Meyers — must lead the Awesomes after his father’s retirement. But his idea of a superhero league includes a ragtag bunch who were previously rejected from the crimefighting line-up.

BREAKING POINTE

(THE CW) SEASON 2 PREMIERES MON., JULY 29 AT 9 P.M. ET. WHERE WE LEFT OFF: This

critically-acclaimed docuseries rips back the curtain on the inner workings of the elite Salt Lake City ballet company, Ballet West.

In this close-knit community, the dancers’ lives intertwine both inside and outside of the studio, often putting intense pressure on friendships and romance.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: MELISSA MOSELEY/COURTESY OF HBO; NADAV KANDER/SHOWTIME; FRANK OCKENFELS/AMC

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DVD & BLU-RAY RELEASES DOCTOR WHO

SERIES 7, PART 2, MAY 28 Watch the Doctor and Clara all over again on their journey, which may lead them to the revelation of the Doctor’s oldest secret.

BREAKING BAD

SEASON 5, PART I, JUNE 4 Ahead of Part II of Breaking Bad’s fifth season, airing on Aug. 11, reacquaint yourself with the darkest days of Walter White’s descent into money-hungry drug lord.

CSI: NY

THE NEWSROOM

The CSI team returns in their latest season to clean up the Big Apple.

Get to know the team at Atlantis Cable News before the new season airs on July 14, as they deal with equal parts breaking news and drama around the newsroom.

SEASON 9, JUNE 25

BONANZA

THE COMPLETE SIXTH SEASON, VOLUMES 1 AND 2, JULY 9 Catch up with the Cartwrights this summer with this nine-disc DVD set and power through the season, just one out of the show’s 14 season run — making it one of the longest and most popular shows of all time.

THE LEGEND OF KORRA BOOK 1: AIR, JULY 9

Even with the killer behind bars, the terror and the drama isn’t over for the girls of Rosewood.

Based on the success of Nickelodeon’s highly popular original series Avatar: The Last Airbender, the network issued a spinoff called The Legend of Korra, which continues the legacy of the Avatar with otherworldly high-action sequences and some quintessential teenage drama.

HOUSE OF CARDS

HOMELAND

Revenge and politics make a dangerous combination in the hit Netflix original series starring Kevin Spacey.

In the second season of this awardwinning series, CIA agent Carrie Mathison endures many trials to finally expose the truth.

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS SEASON 3, JUNE 4

SEASON 1, JUNE 11

SEASON 2, SEPT 10

SEASON 1, JUNE 11

PORTLANDIA

SEASON 3, JULY 9 If you still haven’t tired of hipsters, catch the third season of IFC’s sketch comedy, where the dream of the 90s never dies.

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You Are Now Entering Stephen King’s Summer of Horror

T’S BEEN 40 YEARS since a 26-year-old man from Maine wrote his first novel — Carrie — and one year since he released his last, and 62nd, book. (He is now 65.

Who here can do math?) This summer alone, the crazy prolific suspense author has another novel coming out, and a show that looks like the first respectable television adaptation of his work. (Meanwhile, J.J. Abrams is jonesing after the rights for another.) Here, we present an exclusive excerpt from the opening pages of King’s forthcoming novel: Joyland. The scene: It’s 1973, and a summer job as a carny at a small-town amusement park forces college student Devin Jones to confront death in a number of unusual different ways.

Despite his history as an e-book pioneer, King is releasing Joyland in print only.

A glance at the cover should tell you why: crime paperbacks should be enjoyed in ... paperback.

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♥

I had a car, but on most days in that fall of 1973 I walked to Joyland from Mrs. Shoplaw’s Beachside Accommodations in the town of Heaven’s Bay. It seemed like the right thing to do. The only thing, actually. By early September, Heaven Beach was almost completely deserted, which suited my mood. That fall was the most beautiful of my life. Even forty years later I can say that. And I was never so unhappy, I can say that, too. People think first love is sweet, and never sweeter than when that first bond snaps. You’ve heard a thousand pop and country songs that prove the point; some fool got his heart broke. Yet that first broken heart is always the most painful, the slowest to mend, and leaves the most visible scar.

What’s so sweet about that?

♥

Through September and right into October, the North Carolina skies were clear and the air was warm even at seven in the morn-

ing, when I left my second-floor apartment by the outside stairs.

If I started with a light jacket on, I was wearing it tied around my waist before I’d finished half of the three miles between the town and the amusement park.

I’d make Betty’s Bakery my first stop, grabbing a couple of

I was a twenty-one year-old virgin with literary aspirations.

I possessed three pairs of bluejeans, four pairs of Jockey shorts, a clunker Ford (with a good radio), occasional suicidal ideations, and a broken heart.” still-warm croissants. My shadow would walk with me on the sand, at least twenty feet long. Hopeful gulls, smelling the croissants in their waxed paper, would circle overhead. And when I walked back, usually around five (although sometimes I stayed later—there was nothing waiting for me in Heaven’s Bay, a town that mostly went sleepybye when sum-

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mer was over), my shadow walked with me on the water. If the tide was in, it would waver on the surface, seeming to do a slow hula.

Although I can’t be completely sure, I think the boy and the woman and their dog were there from the first time I took that walk. The shore between the town and the cheerful, blinking gimcrackery of Joyland was lined with summer homes, many of them expensive, most of them clapped shut after Labor Day. But not the biggest of them, the one that looked like a green wooden castle. A boardwalk led from its wide back patio down to where the seagrass gave way to fine white sand. At the end of the boardwalk was a picnic table shaded by a bright green beach umbrella. In its shade, the boy sat in his wheelchair, wearing a baseball cap and covered from the waist down by a blanket even in the late afternoons, when the temperature lingered in the seventies. I thought he was five or so, surely no older than seven.

The dog, a Jack Russell terrier, either lay beside him or sat at his feet. The woman sat on one of the picnic table benches,

sometimes reading a book, mostly just staring out at the water.

She was very beautiful.

Going or coming, I always waved to them, and the boy waved back. She didn’t, not at first. 1973 was the year of the OPEC oil embargo, the year Richard Nixon an-

My shadow walked with me on the water.

If the tide was in, it would waver on the surface, seeming to do a slow hula.” nounced he was not a crook, the year Edward G. Robinson and Noel Coward died. It was Devin Jones’s lost year. I was a twenty-one yearold virgin with literary aspirations. I possessed three pairs of bluejeans, four pairs of Jockey shorts, a clunker Ford (with a good radio), occasional suicidal ideations, and a broken heart.

Sweet, huh?

Excerpted from JOYLAND, out June 4, by Stephen King, published by Hard Case Crime. Copyright © 2013 by Stephen King.

SHORTS

CULTURE BOOKS

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Tell Us a Story (in 200 Words or Less) THIS SUMMER, rather than casting our eye across the shelves like we usually do, we thought, why not go inward? We asked a handful of authors with novels out this summer to share a piece of their work with us. Nine brave souls kindly obliged. In the spirit of adventure, we closed our eyes, stuck out our index fingers, and pressed down on

a page, hoping for the best. The passages that came of this exercise rest on details — a grin, a freak wave, a bite on the arm — that at times read more like poetry than prose.

From Dan Brown to Tao Lin, ahead find nine excerpts that ask you to go right ahead and sink your teeth in.

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Hat, Book, Towel, Check!

BY EMMA DIAB

EACHSIDE BOOKWORMS are in for some page-turners this summer — between an exploration of female sexuality to the We Need to Talk About Kevin author’s latest family drama, there will be some interesting burns in store for sunbathers too engrossed to flip over.

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AMERICANAH: CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE PUBLISHER: KNOPF (MAY 14, 2013) Two Nigerian lovers must part ways in search of a better life, away from the military dictatorship striking Nigeria.

One moves to America, learning quickly about the racial tensions within the United States, while the other manages to live as an undocumented immigrant in London. Years later, they are reunited in newly democratic Nigeria, and face a difficult decision.

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HAPPINESS, LIKE WATER: CHINELO OKPARANTA PUBLISHER: MARINER BOOKS (AUGUST 13, 2013)

Okparanta introduces readers to the trials and joys women in Nigeria face in a revealing portrait of everyday life, family and love.

THE INFATUATIONS: JAVIER MARIAS PUBLISHER: KNOPF (AUGUST 13, 2013)

SHINING GIRLS: LAUREN BEUKES

PUBLISHER: MULHOLLAND BOOKS (JUNE 4, 2013) After stumbling upon a house whose doors open into different times, a serial killer leaps through the years murdering brilliant girls with potential. He botches the job while visiting 1989, and his victim hunts him down while trying to unravel the mystery of these incredible circumstances.

FIVE STAR BILLIONAIRE: TASH AW

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An award-winning murder mystery

by Spanish author Javier Marias places a woman — infatuated by the relationship of a couple she sees every morning at her local cafe — in a complicated situation when the man is murdered.

PUBLISHER: SPIEGEL & GRAU (JULY 2, 2013)

HIS WIFE LEAVES HIM: STEPHEN DIXON

Set in the booming metropolis of Shanghai, the lives of four people who are living very different lives in the city are explored — including a burgeoning pop star and a girl who discovers her new factory job didn’t exist. All their hopes and stories are linked to a shadowy billionaire, and the city itself.

In his first novel in five years, Dixon presents the story of a man grieving over the the loss of his wife, Gwen, when all he has are the stories and memories of their life together.

I’LL SEIZE THE DAY TOMORROW: JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN PUBLISHER: PINTAIL (MAY 28, 2013)

Goldstein is the writer-presenter of the radio show Wiretap. If you’re a fan, you’ll eagerly await this book. If not, go listen to it.

You’re welcome.

UNMASTERED: A BOOK ON DESIRE, MOST DIFFICULT TO TELL: KATHERINE ANGEL PUBLISHER: FSG (JUNE 4, 2013)

This book on female sexuality was already published in the UK where it received mixed reviews. All, however, found it a moving and memorable read.

YOU ARE ONE OF THEM: ELLIOTT HOLT PUBLISHER: PENGUIN PRESS (MAY 30, 2013)

A coming-of-age story is intertwined with a Cold War murder mystery in 2011 Pushcart Prize winner Elliott Holt’s debut novel, beginning with two little girls sending Soviet premier Yuri Andropov petitions for peace in the 1980s.

PUBLISHER: FANTAGRAPHICS (AUGUST 17, 2013)

AND THE MOUNTAINS ECHOED: KHALED HOSSEINI PUBLISHER: RIVERHEAD HARDCOVER (MAY 21, 2013) Bestselling author of Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, Hosseini’s new novel is a sprawling family epic on how those closest to us may be the ones who surprise us the most.

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LOVE, DISHONOR, MARRY, DIE, CHERISH, PERISH: DAVID RAKOFF PUBLISHER: DOUBLEDAY (JULY 16, 2013)

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The death of one girl leads the other to post-Soviet Russia years later to sift through baseless propaganda and her own feelings of loss and jealousy in her search for answers.

TAIPEI: TAO LIN

PUBLISHER: VINTAGE (JUNE 4, 2013) Drugs and young love, from New York to Taiwan. The 29-year-old author balances both fiction and autobiography in his third novel, using as source material “everything I know or have felt or experienced, or could imagine knowing or feeling,” he told Entertainment Weekly. Bonus: the cover is an animated GIF.

BIG BROTHER: LIONEL SHRIVER

PUBLISHER: HARPER (JUNE 4, 2013)

This novel, released after Rakoff’s death last summer, jumps through different eras and decades, from the Great Depression to the AIDS pandemic and the Reagan years, connecting the characters through either “acts of generosity or cruelty.”

The We Need to Talk About Kevin author’s latest deals with family and obesity.

How far will one sister go when she faces an ultimatum to help her intrusive, obese brother with his health?

CANNONBALL: JOSEPH MCELROY

PUBLISHER: DZANC BOOKS (JUNE 11, 2013) Read experimental author Joseph McElroy’s Cannonball as much for the style as you do for the story, which focuses on a California family amidst the Iraq War.

OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE: NEIL GAIMAN PUBLISHER: WILLIAM MORROW (JUNE 18, 2013)

Gaiman weaves another fairy tale with his latest novel, one of otherworldly

creatures on the hunt after an ancient force is disturbed. The only answer to the menace are the inhabitants of a farm at the end of the lane.

NIGHT FILM: MARISHA PESSL

PUBLISHER: RANDOM HOUSE (AUGUST 20, 2013) After a woman is found dead in a lower Manhattan warehouse, an investigative journalist trails the case and discovers that her father is a notorious cult horror film director who disappeared from the

THE FALL OF ARTHUR: TOLKIEN PUBLISHER: HOUGHTON MIFFLIN HARCOURT (MAY 23, 2013) The “new” Tolkien book being released is actually a 200-page poem about ancient Britain and the final days of the famous King Arthur’s reign.

public eye more than 30 years earlier.

CLAIRE OF THE SEA LIGHT: EDWIDGE DANTICAT PUBLISHER: KNOPF (AUGUST 27, 2013)

Set in Haiti, a broken-hearted father’s decision to give away his child, Claire, in hopes of a better life, is met with his daughter’s disappearance on the night of her seventh birthday.

PACIFIC: TOM DRURY PUBLISHER: GROVE PRESS (MAY 7, 2013)

Two stories run parallel to one another as Drury revisits his characters from his beloved novel The End of Vandalism.

With one story set amid the drugs and social politics of L.A. and the other in the midwestern town of Stone City, Drury constructs a portrait of the mundane and the extraordinary of everyday American life.

INFERNO: DAN BROWN

PUBLISHER: DOUBLEDAY (MAY 14, 2013) The bestselling author of The Da Vinci Code follows Harvard professor Robert Langdon once again — this time into the mystery and symbolism that surrounds the Inferno, the first installment of 14thcentury poet Dante Aligheri’s epic poem, The Divine Comedy.

TRANSATLANTIC: COLUM MCCANN

PUBLISHER: RANDOM HOUSE (JUNE 4, 2013) Three transatlantic crossings made by important men with important business during very different times — 1845, 1919 and 1998 — are linked together by the stories of several women whose unassuming lives have managed to echo through time and history.

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Chaos Reigns

“We wanted to strip everything down further, away from the showbiz theatricality of the glitter bands, and away from bluesiness and boogie. We wanted to be stark and hard and torn up, the way the world was.” — Richard Hell in his recent autobiography, I Dreamed I Was A Very Clean Tramp

COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH BY DAVID SIMS

NEW YORK — Richard Hell is the first of seven “punk heroes” with a gallery showcasing their impact on the fashion world at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s buzzy exhibit, Punk: Chaos and Couture. Hell rose to cult fame in the late 1970s through his band, Richard Hell and the Voidoids. The group didn’t last long, but Hell’s ripped, safetypinned clothes immortalized him as an emblem of New York’s underground scene at the time.

Besides the group of seven, The Met’s show, running from May to August, displays the work of 100 designers, tracing the original “doit-yourself” punk looks scoured from dumpsters and junk drawers to contemporary adaptations of studs and feathers currently on the runway.

Ahead, see punk icons Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious and Jordan juxtaposed with their counterparts on the runway.

A model poses in a design

by Karl Lagerfeld for House of Chanel in Vogue, 2011.

PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TK

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH © DENNIS MORRIS - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Sid Vicious, the bassist of the Sex Pistols, in 1977.

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH BY RICHARD YOUNG/REX USA

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John Lydon — better known as Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten — in 1976.

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH BY PETER LINDBERGH

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A model poses in an outfit by Japanese designer Rei Kawakubo for Comme des Garรงons.

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH FROM REX USA

British model and actress Pamela Rooke, known by her punk name “Jordan,” in 1977.

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH BY DAVID SIMS

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A model poses in an outfit by Rodarte in the July 2008 issue of Vogue.

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COURTESY OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, PHOTOGRAPH © KATE SIMON

Richard Hell (born Richard Lester Meyers), credited with being an innovator in punk fashion and music, in the late 1970s.

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DAZED AND CONFUSED, MARCH 2003, PHOTOGRAPH BY ERIC NEHR

A model dressed

by British designer Hussein Chalayan.

PUNK CULTURE ART

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URBAN ART

CULTURE ART

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Where the Streets Take Many Names JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

BY LEIGH SILVER

NSTEAD OF roaming through a museum, why not take to the streets for your art fix this summer? Just as London claims Banksy as its clandestine hero, cities across the world have trumpeted their own national street artists. Blu is the face of Italy’s streets, and in Buenos Aires, where

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urban art is legal with permission, Argentine graffiti master Martin Ron reigns supreme.

From Los Angeles’ iconic Shepard Fairey works to Icy and Sot in Iran, we’ve compiled the best cities for street art around the world, for all you globe hoppers out there looking for a new way to take in a city.

A photograph posted on a wall in Berlin

by French artist/“photograffeur” JR, on April 21, 2013.

JIM DYSON/GETTY IMAGES

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URBAN ART CULTURE ART

LONDON, UK

The elusive Banksy is probably the most famous street artist in the world, and London is his stomping ground. Known for his cleverly scathing stencils, Banksy’s work has been torn from walls across the world and sold at auction. Head over to London’s Canary Warf, and you’ll spot this stencil of a girl falling with a shopping cart, painted in 2011. A month later, Banksy painted the words, “Sorry! The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock,” on the same building.

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KONRAD FIEDLER/BLOOMBERG VIA GETTY IMAGES

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URBAN ART CULTURE ART

LOS ANGELES, CALIF.

The West Hollywood Library on San Vicente Boulevard may be the best place to spot the big names in L.A. street art. In 2011, the library commissioned Los Angeles artists Kenny Sharf, Retna and Shepard Fairey to decorate the building’s walls.

Fairey’s mural features his peace dove and elephant motifs in his unmistakable style.

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URBAN ART CULTURE ART

MARTIN BUREAU/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

PARIS, FRANCE

While Paris has a lively street art culture, native JR has gained the most international fame. JR has exhibited his giant black-andwhite photos in cities all over the world, from Japan to Palestine to New York. In 2009, JR decorated the River Seine with this image of a woman’s eye for part of his”Women Are Heroes” exhibit, where he covered public spaces across the globe with images of women. Most recently, he completed a massive photographic installation in Times Square, New York.

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URBAN ART CULTURE ART

AP PHOTO/MISHA JAPARIDZE

MOSCOW, RUSSIA

Last month, Pasha P183 — known as the “Russian Banksy” — died at age 29. His works in Moscow have given the city a claim to graffiti fame, and P183’s secretive personality made him internationally known.

In the image above, the Russian words read, “Give to get a ticket home.”

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STEPHEN BIRCH/ALAMY

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CORK, IRELAND

Conor Harrington was born in Cork, and his paintings appear all over his hometown.

His style is a unique mix of classical portraits and abstract graffiti. Harrington has been quoted saying he uses the male figure to refer to “the masculinity of urban culture.”

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STACY WALSH ROSENSTOCK / ALAMY

TABRIZ, IRAN

Street art in Iran doesn’t last long — it’s both illegal and scarce. According to a feature on the Iranian pair Icy and Sot in Narratively, the duo estimates that there are only six to 10 active graffiti artists in Iran. Originally from Tabriz, Icy and Sot documented their work in Iran before it could be covered up. Pictured above is one of their stencil works on a Soho storefront in New York.

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AP PHOTO/NATACHA PISARENKO

BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA

In Buenos Aires, there’s no need to paint under the cover of darkness. The city’s lax policy on street art has made it a haven for famous graffiti artists across the world.

Argentinian born Martin Ron has completed murals all over Buenos Aires. In this image, he adds details to a sea turtle he first painted last November.

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URBAN ART CULTURE ART

TRAVELSTOCK44 / ALAMY

GROTTAGLIE, ITALY

Grottagile is home of the Fame Festival, a DIY street art event where top artists around the world descend on the city. The city remains spattered with famous works year-round. If Banksy is the king of London street art, then Blu (pictured) rules Italy.

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DAQUELLA MANERA/FLICKR

DRESDEN, GERMANY

URBAN ART CULTURE ART

Dresden’s urban art makes it a city within a city thanks to EVOL. In his “Buildings” series, EVOL stencils windows onto walls or street furniture to create miniature cities.

For one work, EVOL painted an abandoned 8x10 meter hole in a Dresden warehouse to create an apocalypticlooking cityscape.

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ARTANGEL/ALAMY

LISBON, PORTUGAL

Based and born in Lisbon, Vhils creates his large-scale portraits by demolishing surfaces instead of painting on top of them. His process is just as explosive as the finished works, with debris spraying everywhere as he blasts away abandoned walls.

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URBAN ART

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CULTURE ART

Sﾃグ PAULO, BRAZIL

ELBRAGON/FLICKR

Sﾃ｣o Paulo is a destination for street artists, and many graffiti kings from around the world have brought their paint cans to the city.

In this mural, local artist Kobra honors the late master architect Oscar Niemeyer.

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CARNAGENYC/FLICKR

NEW YORK, NY

One of New York’s most celebrated artists is the Brooklyn-based pasteup master Swoon. Her work can be seen in the Williamsburg and Bushwick neighborhoods in Brooklyn.

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PREVIEW

CULTURE ART

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Now Exhibiting Hippies, Queens, Magic

COURTESY OF NICK CAVE AND THE JACK SHAINMAN GALLERY, NEW YORK.

BY KATHERINE BROOKS

Nick Cave’s Soundsuits, designed to make noise as the wearer moves, are on display at the Denver Art Museum this summer.

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CULTURE ART

HE SUN IS OUT, the weather is warm and another kind of blockbuster is upon us. Yes, dear readers, in honor of the glorious months ahead, we’ve scoured the upcoming retrospectives, solo shows and picked the hottest art exhibits we’re most anxious to see.

From James Turrell’s transformation of the Guggenheim to the Met’s punk takeover, this year’s summer art rollout is not to be missed. Ahead, find everything you need to know about the season’s art-admiring frenzy.

© SOLOMON R. GUGGENHEIM FOUNDATION

NICK CAVE WHAT: Nick Cave: Sojourn WHEN: June 9 Sept. 22, 2013 WHERE: Denver Art Museum WHY: The show will feature 40 new multi-sensory artworks including a passageway made from thousands of buttons and more than 20 of the artist’s signature “Soundsuits.”

PUNK WHAT: PUNK: Chaos to Couture WHEN: May 9 - Aug. 14, 2013

WHERE: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York WHY: Probably the most talked about exhibition of the summer (whether those reviews are good or bad), this celebration of all things punk is definitely a must-see.

MAGIC WHAT: Contemporary Magic: A Tarot Deck Art Project WHEN: May 30 Aug. 18, 2013 WHERE: Virginia Museum of

LIGHTS WHAT:

James Turrell

WHEN:

June 21 - Sept. 25, 2013

WHERE:

Guggenheim, New York

WHY:

This is the artist’s first exhibition in a New York museum since 1980, which will reimagine the art haven’s iconic rotunda as a giant light installation.

Turrell’s works will also be on display at the Los Angeles Contemporary Art Museum from May 26, 2013 April 6, 2014.

QUEENS WHAT: Wayne Hollowell’s

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PREVIEW CULTURE ART

Drama Queen

WHEN: June 26-30, 2013 WHERE: Michael Mut Gallery, New York

FROM LEFT: COURTESY OF MICHAEL MUT GALLERY, NEW YORK; LEE SNIDER/PHOTO IMAGES/COURTESY OF THE FALES LIBRARY & SPECIAL COLLECTIONS, NYU

WHY: This exhibit features a

dazzling display of pop culture portraits in time for NYC Pride, and “more drama than any queen should ever have to take” (the gallery’s words).

SURREAL DAVID HOCKNEY WHAT: David Hockney’s A Rake’s Progress WHEN: June 5 Aug. 16, 2013 WHERE: Contemporary Art Society, London WHY: A Rake’s Progress is a semiautobiographical story about the artist and his life in New York in the 1960s. If you love David Hockney, you will love this show.

CORBUSIER

Contemporary Art WHY: The list of artists who contributed work to this exhibitions is astounding, with names like Kehinde Wiley, Marc Jacobs, Vivienne Westwood, Karl Lagerfeld and Yayoi Kusama.

Together they created 78 images that represent a deck of Tarot cards.

MEMORIES WHAT: Building Memories: The Art of Remembering WHEN: May 31, 2013 - Feb. 24, 2014 WHERE: Victoria and Albert Museum, London WHY: Based on the “art of remembering” theories developed

by Hari Kunzru, this exhibit explores the history of mnemonics in classical texts, Victorian manuals, card games and contemporary works.

WHAT: Le Corbusier: An Atlas of Modern Landscapes WHEN: June 9 Sept. 23, 2013 WHERE: Museum of Modern Art, New York WHY: This exhibition will place particular focus on the ways in which architect and visual artist Le Corbusier (aka Charles-Édouard Jeanneret) imagined landscapes, in his early watercolors of the Mediterranean, his sketches of India and his photographs of architectural projects.

WHAT: Reflections. From Van Eyck to Magritte WHEN: June 11 Sept. 15, 2013 WHERE: Museo ThyssenBornemisza, Madrid WHY: The exhibit — a survey of works from the museum’s

permanent collection — focuses on the relationship between real and reflected imagery in art.

From old to modern masters, surreal masterpieces by artists like Rene Magritte and Jan van Eyck will be on display.

AIDS WHAT: AIDS in New York: The First Five Years

WHEN: June 7 - Sept. 15, 2013 WHERE: New York Historical Society WHY: The exhibit covers the period from

1981 to 1985 when activist movements that would later change the nation’s approach to AIDS were first springing up.

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PREVIEW CULTURE ART

space with wonder, to resurrect art history from the bowels of despair, and to impregnate the institutions of art with the joy of man’s desiring.”

BAROQUE WHAT: Rashaad Newsome: King of Arms WHEN: June 21 -

Sept. 15, 2013 WHERE: New Orleans Museum of Art WHY: New Orleans native Rashaad Newsome continues his love affair with Baroque aesthetics and race performance in King of Arms, which infuses historical royal imagery with hip-hop influences.

HIPPIES RULERS

KEN PRICE WHAT: Ken Price: Slow and Steady

FROM TOP: COURTESY MATTHEW MARKS GALLERY; COURTESY MFA BOSTON

Wins the Race, Works on Paper 1962-2010

WHEN: June 19 - Aug. 18, 2013 WHERE: The Drawing Center, New York WHY: This is the first survey of Ken Price’s drawings.

FASHION WHAT: Future Beauty: Thirty Years of Japanese Fashion WHEN: June 27 Sept. 8, 2013 WHERE: Seattle Art Museum WHY: The entire exhibit is dedicated to revolutionary Japanese fashion designers who are credited with influencing Western couture as we know it. Watch for 80 gowns by designers

like Rei Kawakubo, Yohji Yamamoto and Jun Takahashi.

CULTURE CLASH WHAT: Migrating Identities WHEN: June 28 Sept. 29, 2013 WHERE: Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, San Francisco WHY: Eight artists grapple with their relationships with two or more different cultures, exploring the effects of place and emigration on identity.

WHAT: BMO Harris Bank Chicago Works: Jose Lerma WHEN: July 2 Dec. 3, 2013 WHERE: MCA Chicago WHY: Using fabric, carpet and occasional military parachutes, Lerma recreates history’s forgotten rulers with a delicious sense of humor.

PUBLIC SPACE WHAT: The Bruce High Quality Foundation: Ode to Joy, 2001–2013 WHEN: June 28, 2013 Sept. 22, 2013 WHERE: Brooklyn Museum of Art WHY: We can’t resist an exhibit with a description that explains the groups as attempting to “invest the experience of public

WHAT: Hippie Chic WHEN: July 16 - Nov. 11, 2013 WHERE: Museum of Fine Arts, Boston WHY: Following the widespread

attention The Met’s PUNK: Chaos to Couture exhibit received, the MFA Boston is turning to the subculture of the 1960s and 1970s for inspiration for their upcoming fashion exhibit.

Expect a psychedelic overload.

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FASHION FOOD TRAVEL

TRENDS

LIFESTYLE FASHION

Easy Breezy Ways to Own the Season

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

BY MICHELLE PERSAD

UMMER MAY BE a time for cut-offs and tanks, but 2013 also brings some more unusual trends you could only pull off in warmer months (see: holographic accessories). Thankfully, many of the trends that were in style for spring are still going to be in full force through the fall — all it takes is a little modifying. If you want to give the luxe leather trend a go,

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make sure you try the material in a mini skirt or a tank top (time to hang up that leather jacket). Instead of sporting overalls (the hottest item of 2013), why not opt for a pair of shortalls to let your legs breathe while the temps rise? We’ve compiled a list of the top 10 trends of the season, plus shoppable versions you can score yourself. May we suggest you kick it off with a pair of lucite heels?

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TRENDS LIFESTYLE FASHION

#1: LEATHER

Leather might seem contradictory in the summer, but this luxe fabric will make any outfit look expensive (just make sure you don’t go head to toe in the material).

VICTOR VIRGILE/GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES (LEATHER); FRAZER HARRISON/ GETTY IMAGES FOR MERCEDES-BENZ FASHION WEEK (POWER CLASHING)

Love Leather Snow Cone A Line Mini Skirt, $231, Shopbop.com

Tinley Road Vegan Leather Peplum Top, $49, Piperlime.com

High-Waisted Faux Leather Shorts, $17, Forever21.com

Tem qui dis arion non seruptur ab illam eum ipsum seritis ra pro endesti sequi dolorro id experciti The trick to wearing mismatched prints is to make sure the sizes of the patterns are different so the clashing looks intentional.

#2: POWER CLASHING

Nanette Lepore Sound Art Candy Mix-Print Halter Dress, $448, Bergdorfgoodman.com

MSGM Mixed Print Shift Dress, $287, Farfetch.com

Tory Burch Catarina Mixed-Print Surf Shirt, $250, Neimanmarcus.com

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TRENDS LIFESTYLE FASHION

#3: OVERALLS

Overalls aren’t just for kids anymore. They have been seen all over the runways, and the latest take on the jumpsuit is the easiest (and most comfortable) piece for summer.

Etoile Isabel Marant “Jason” Fluffy Linen Overalls in Blanc, $385, Forwardforward.com

Motel The Demi Dungaree Overalls in Paisley Blue, $85, Misskl.com

Urban Renewal Tapered Overall, $59, Urbanoutfitters.com

IAN GAVAN/GETTY IMAGES (OVERALLS)

#4: LUCITE HEELS If it’s clear, it’s a-go this season.

MICHAEL Michael Kors Lana AnkleStrap Sandals, $150, Dillards.com

Lanvin Lucite® Wedge Pump, $1,395, shop. nordstrom.com

Soiree Platform, $122, Nastygal.com

NATHALIE LAGNEAU/CATWALKING/GETTY IMAGES (HOLOGRAPHIC CLOTHES); VICTOR VIRGILE/GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES (BOLD STRIPE)

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TRENDS LIFESTYLE FASHION

#5: H OLOGRAPHIC CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES If your accessory blinds you, then you’ve got it right. Anything mirrored and shiny is perfect for the warmer months.

Miista Zoe Hologram Oxford, $186, Urbanoutfitters.com

Melie Bianco: The Janelle Clutch in Hologram Multi, $80, Karmaloop.com

Jonathan Saunders “Issy” holographic striped crepe pencil skirt, $828, Net-a-porter.com

#6: BOLD STRIPE

PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TK

Stripes are always in fashion, but this year try something bold à la prison uniform.

Bold Stripe Crop Tee, $20, Topshop.com

Sparkle & Fade Striped Scuba Midi Skirt, $49, Urbanoutfitters.com

PJK Patterson J. Kincaid Augusta Tie Front Dress, $198, Shopbop.com

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TRENDS LIFESTYLE FASHION

#7.MIDI SKIRTS

RANDY BROOKE/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (MIDI SKIRT); VICTOR VIRGILE/GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES (CROP TOPS)

Forget maxi skirts — this season is all about the midi skirt. This new, slightly shorter length is perfect to wear around the office.

Corey Lynn Calter Desi Blocked Midi Skirt, $129, Couturecandy.com

Tibi “Athena” Skirt; $485, Tibi.com

Stella McCartney Carroll Monogram-Embroidered Wool Midi Skirt, $798, Outnet.com

#8. CROP TOPS

This ‘90s trend is out in full force this season — if you dare to try this bold look we suggest you pair it with loose fitting bottoms.

ASTR “Illusion Lines” Crop Top, $48, Nordstrom.com

Stripe Cotton Spandex Jersey Sleeveless Turtleneck Crop Top, $30, Americanapparel.net

Clouds Crop Top, $38, Needsupply.com

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TRENDS LIFESTYLE FASHION

#9: SPORTY CLOTHING

Even if you’re not headed to the gym, throw on a sporty dress or a pair of sneakers this season. Not only is this trend comfortable, but your mesh garments won’t require dry cleaning.

VICTOR VIRGILE/GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES (SPORTY CLOTHING)

Dion Lee Lilac Purple Mesh Jersey Tank Top, $185, Ssense.com

#10: PASTELS

Toss your black suits and grey sweaters — it’s all about light, soft colors.

Bestie Date Skirt, $32, Modcloth.com

Silk Camp Shirt, $98, Anntaylor.com

73 Number Tee, $40, Us.topshop.com

Nike Lace Up High Top Sneaker Wedges, $120, Bloomingdales.com

Collection Liberty Topcoat In Phoebe Floral, $525, Jcrew.com

SWIM

LIFESTYLE FASHION

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.12.13

Don’t Be Scared, It’s Just Swimsuit Shopping GETTY IMAGES/TETRA IMAGES RF

BY MICHELLE PERSAD

KAY LADIES, it’s the most dreaded time of the year again. No, not your gyno exam or your in-laws annual visit — it’s swimsuit season.

Swimwear shopping, similar to root canals and childbirth, elicit fear and anxiety in women around the globe. And after a season of hiding behind an oversized flannel,

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few things seem worse than donning a teeny-weeny bikini. Since most of us will be headed out to the stores in the next few weeks to find a new bathing suit, we’ve provided 10 tips and tricks to make the process slightly less grueling.

So take a deep breath, and take comfort in the fact that it’ll all be over before you can say monokini.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: SILVIA OTTE/ GETTY IMAGES; SHUTTERSTOCK / MICHAEL KRAUS; GETTY IMAGES/ CAIAIMAGE; GETTY IMAGES/CULTURA RF; GETTY IMAGES/FLICKR RF; GETTY IMAGES/TETRA IMAGES RF

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Although there are great prices to be had at big-box stores, small shops that specialize in swimwear are often your best bet. The salesclerks at these stores can suggest cuts and colors you may not have thought to try, but would work great on your figure. Spending a little more money in these stores can make you feel much more confident in your suit.

Shave your legs before you head out. It will give you one less thing to feel self-conscious about.

A little fake tanner goes a long way. Not only will it give you a glow, but it can also help contour your body.

Know your size. Or least know that swimsuit sizes are very different than clothing sizes. It isn’t unusual to have to size up — don’t let that discourage you.

Make sure your bathing suit fits.

Don’t be afraid to do some lunges or jumping jacks in the fitting room — gaping bottoms are not an option.

SWIM LIFESTYLE FASHION

Just like dresses and pants, there are swimsuits that work best for certain body types.

Learn what works for you.

Trying to hide a tummy? Try a ruched one-piece. Want to enhance a small bust? Ruffles are your new BFF.

Bring a friend along for a second opinion.

And to dismiss your delusions.

Don’t compare yourself to others.

When you see photos of models and celebrities in bikinis, remember: They were airbrushed.

Pick a time to shop when you feel most confident about yourself. That could be right after the gym, following a great presentation at work, or any other time when you’re on a high.

And if all else fails ...

TASTE TEST

LIFESTYLE FOOD

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Before You Crack Open a Cold One...

BY KRISTEN AIKEN

HE WEATHER’S heating up, which means you’re probably swapping out your mashed potatoes for potato salad and your meatloaf for burgers. That’s all well and good, but don’t forget about changing up your beer. The heavy ones you’ve been drinking all winter — you know, like stouts and spicy dark ales — are not going to do you any favors in the heat of the summer. On the flip side, summer beers are highly

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PHOTOGRAPHS BY DAMON DAHLEN

drinkable and born to be swiftly chugged. Usually defined as being light with a clean, hoppy or bitter flavor, they’re the perfect complement to that juicy brat you’re about to grill up.

Since most summer beers are only available for a limited time, get out there and find your favorite right now. We conducted a blind taste test, ranking them and publishing our notes for your reference.

Give them all a swig, and let us know what you think.

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TASTE TEST LIFESTYLE FOOD

TAP ON EACH BOTTLE FOR THE TASTERS’ VERDICTS

BROOKLYN SUMMER ALE

WIDMER BROTHERS CITRA BLONDE

PEAK ORGANIC SUMMER SESSION

VICTORY SUMMER LOVE

HARPOON SUMMER BEER

NARRAGANSETT SUMMER ALE

GOOSE ISLAND SUMMERTIME

ANCHOR SUMMER BEER

SIERRA NEVADA SUMMERFEST

BLUE POINT SUMMER ALE

AMENDMENT HELL OR HIGH WATERMELON

LEINENKUGEL SHANDY

MISTAKES

LIFESTYLE FOOD

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

It’s Your Life, and Your Burger to Ruin (But Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You)

BY REBECCA ORCHANT

GMVOZD/ GETTY IMAGES

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OR SOME OF US, spring is a threemonth-long warm-up session for burger season. We’re just waiting around until we can dust off our grills, or for those of us trapped in the urban sprawl, at least eat our cast-iron-skillet-griddled burgers on the roof. But we know there are some of you out there who dread burger season because of the burger mistakes we’ve all made at one point or another — maybe they’re overcooked, maybe they’re rubbery, maybe they’re dry or boring. If your hands have gone all clammy, take a deep breath, you’re in the right place.

Like all other kinds of instinctual cooking, no one can really tell you exactly how to cook a burger.

There are tons of variables: meat quality, cooking method, temperature preference. Like all things worth cooking, you have to mess a few up before you hit your stride.

Without further ado, we give you the eight most frequent mistakes we all make with burgers.

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LIFESTYLE FOOD

1. Buying very lean, cheap or frozen meat.

We say it all the time, we’ll say it again: good meat costs money. We shouldn’t eat a burger every day, we should treat it as a luxury — so we shouldn’t buy cheap, overly-lean, mystery-composition, (especially) frozen hamburger meat. You want to throw a backyard BBQ with 40 friends? Buy whatever kind of hamburger meat you want. But if you want to make you and a few close friends the best burgers ever, treat it like you treat bacon, steak and poultrys, and get something nice.

PRO TIP #1: Don’t skimp on the hamburger meat.

GETTY IMAGES/DORLING KINDERSLEY

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Nice or not, make sure it has enough fat in it — at least 20 percent. Ultra-lean beef is great for other stuff (we suppose), but a burger needs fat because fat makes juice, and we’re all after a juicy burger. If you want to get really advanced, do like Meat Wizard Pat LaFrieda does and grind your own blend (or ask your butcher to do it for you! They will!).

2. Over-working your burgers/adding a bunch of other stuff into the mix.

“But,” you might be thinking, “my burgers are the best because I add onions, parsley, worcestershire

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LIFESTYLE FOOD

sauce and an egg to the meat.” You are wrong. That is a meatloaf, not a burger. At best it is a meatball.

Here are the things you need to form a great burger: good meat with plenty of fat, salt and the occasional onion/garlic powder if you must. When you mix a bunch of stuff into burger meat, or handle it too much as you form the patties, you warm up the fat in the burger, which then emulsifies and makes your meat rubbery.

Pack your burgers lightly, minimally, season the outside generously right before you cook them, and then leave them alone.

PRO TIP #3: If you want to be able to add toppings later, don’t forget to add divots to your round patties beforehand.

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LIFESTYLE FOOD

3. Making round patties, without a divot on either side.

This isn’t a huge mistake, unless you’re planning to add toppings to your burgers that you want to stay on as you eat (so, every burger). When burger meat cooks, it expands, which pushes the edges out, making your burger rounded. If, when forming your patties, you gently press your thumb into the top and bottom of the burger, creating small divots, the burger will expand to a perfectly flat, toppings-holding machine.

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4. Being afraid of heat.

No matter your cooking method — be it a grill, grill pan, cast iron skillet or broiler — it has to be hot. Really hot. Instant sizzle hot. Because you want to sear your meat, not steam it (steamed cheeseburgers can be great, but that is another article, guys).

As long as you get your cooking surface hot enough that your burger really sizzles when you set it down, you’re doing a great job. Is it burning? Turn it down!

It will all work out.

5. Smashing your burger down as it cooks.

We understand the urge to smash a burger down with a spatula: It makes it sizzle, it feels satisfying and it makes you think you’re speeding up the cooking process.

What you are speeding up is the emergency evacuation of all your burger’s juiciness. Don’t do this.

The more juice stays inside the burger, the better it tastes. The only excuse for smashing your burger down onto the grill is an Oklahoma onion burger, which is again, a different article.

PRO TIP #5: Resist the urge to squash your burger to death.

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LIFESTYLE FOOD

6. Cutting into the burger to test the doneness.

You’re better than this. What happens when you cut into a burger while it’s still cooking? The juices run out. Again, worst thing ever.

You’re going to get to know what a perfectly done burger looks like.

We are medium-rare folks — that burger is seared on the outside, and feels a little springy to the touch, like the part of your hand where your thumb attaches. If you like burgers well-done, your life is way easier. Just cook and cook and cook. You’ll find your preference, but don’t cut it open, try not to poke it with a meat thermometer and just let it do its thing.

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7. Not letting your burger rest.

Again, we’re talking preservation of burger juice. Just like any other cut of meat, the juices need time to redistribute through the meat. Give your burger the time that it needs to be great (we really mean this one). Otherwise you’ll end up with a soggy bun, a dry burger and sad feelings.

8. Not experimenting with toppings.

Guys, it’s your life and your burger, go nuts! That burger up there has kimchi and spicy mayo on it. Want to spread peanut butter on the bun and melt cheddar on the burger? Definitely do it. Life is way too short for boring burgers.

PRO TIP #8: Go nuts.

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Charcoal vs. Gas: The Definitive Answer

SHUTTERSTOCK / GERMANY FENG

THE FLAME WAR between charcoal grill purists and gas grill hotheads burns brighter than the debate between Mac and PC users. You should read

some of the slop slung on the barbecue message boards. On second thought, don’t. Let me try to sort it out for you with a few inflammatory thoughts.

PRO: Gas grills offer convenience and control.

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Grills are used mostly for three types of cooking: 1. High-heat direct radiation cooking when the food is placed directly above the heat source for things like steaks.

2. Indirect-heat convection roasting for things like whole chickens and roasts when the heat source is off to the side and the food cooks by warm air circulating around it.

3. Indirect heat smoke roasting for things like ribs when the warm air is heavy with flavorful hardwood smoke.

Let’s see how each fuel performs at these tasks and all the other factors.

IS THERE A TASTE DIFFERENCE? There is a minor difference in the flavor imparted by combustion gasses, the volatile byproducts given off by the burning of the charcoal or the gas. When propane combusts, it makes more steam than charcoal, and some say that keeps meat moist, giving gas an advantage. Others think the steam is a disadvantage, hampering chicken skin from getting crisp.

There is one other flavor difference of note. If you use selfigniting charcoal or charcoal fluid

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to start a charcoal fire, there can be an unpleasant petrochemical smell during ignition and it can get into the food. Yuk. For this reason you should use a charcoal chimney or an electric charcoal starter. I prefer the chimney because it is faster and easier and needs no outlet. My favorite is the Weber Rapidfire Chimney Starter.

If you use your grill for smoke roasting, there is a more noticeable difference in flavor. The com-

The combustion gases from charcoal ... make a distinctive flavor typical of traditional southern barbecue. On a propane grill, the flavor is a bit more bacon-like. Which is better? Taste is a matter of taste.� bustion gases from charcoal when mixed with smoke from wood chips or chunks make a distinctive flavor typical of traditional southern barbecue. On a propane grill, the flavor is a bit more bacon-like. Which is better? Taste is a matter of taste.

But when it comes to direct-heat grilling, the fact is that, if all things

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are equal such as cooking temp, most folks can’t tell the difference in the taste between charcoal- and gas-grilled food. If you use strong flavored rubs, marinades and sauces, you will never notice taste differences. You may think you can, but blind tastings have shown that you probably can’t. So if there is little taste difference, the choice comes down to functionality.

CHARCOAL: PROS AND CONS Charcoal purists are vehement and border on snobbery. They who would never ever never own a gas grill. They claim it is the flavor, but for me, a lot of it is the thrill of playing with fire and the ritual.

The real reason to buy a charcoal grill is that charcoal can get hotter than standard gas grills, and heat is what you need to get steaks and lamb crisp on the outside and red or pink on the inside. Charcoal grills typically cook up to 500F. If you use a lot of coals or if the coals are raised close to the cooking surface, they can cook as hot as 700F. When I get my hands on top quality lamb or beef, I use bricks to raise the charcoal grate on my Weber Kettle to within one inch of the

meat. My favorite charcoal grills have a crank that lets you raise and lower the charcoal bed.

The down side: Charcoal is dirty to handle; it can be hard to light; it takes about 15 minutes longer to get up to temp; there can be flareups that can burn the food, and that is a health risk; it is hard to tell what temp you are cooking at; the temperature cannot be turned down rapidly; during long cooks it slowly loses heat and you need to add more charcoal; charcoal grills rarely have rotisseries; and there is a lot of ash to clean up after.

Most of these problems are

PRO: Charcoal grills can get hotter than gas grills, which is preferable for steaks and lamb.

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easily surmounted if you know how: If you use gloves, shovels, or tongs, you need not ever handle raw coals. If you keep the charcoal dry and use a chimney, getting hot coals is easy. If you push the coals to one side of the grill and set up a two-zone cooking environment, fatty meats like chicken skin does not drip on the coals and flare up, and even if there are flareups, a squirt gun can contain them. And cleanup of ash is easier with some of the one-touch grills or grills that have removable ashtrays.

The most important part of any cooking, indoor or out, is regulating heat. To do that you need a reliable oven thermometer, and a little know how that takes time to acquire. Alas I have never seen a charcoal grill with a really good thermometer, and the thermometer is never mounted where it is needed, near the meat. The temp in the top of the dome can be very different at meat level.

Since charcoal grills do not have temperature dials to raise or lower temp, it is important to learn how to set up a two-zone fire, which helps you regulate heat by moving meat from the hot to the medium zone, and learn how to control the

energy of the fire by closing off the oxygen intake vents. They are your temperature dials.

IN SHORT: Cooking with charcoal can yield excellent results if you practice. The high heat is perfect for red meats, and if you learn your instrument, it will reward you handsomely. It is not intuitive and brainless, but there is little it cannot do when you achieve mastery, Grasshopper.

Charcoal purists are vehement and border on snobbery. They who would never ever never own a gas grill.�

GAS: PROS AND CONS Gas grills outsell charcoal grills, and it is easy to understand why.

They offer convenience and control. Those two words alone could cinch the argument.

They are easy to start, heat up within 10-15 minutes, hold temperatures steadily, are easy to clean, and can be configured for indirect and multi-zone cooking. If it’s Tuesday and you need dinner ready in

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an hour, the gasser can do it. Low to mid-price gas grills typically have a top end of 400-600F. More expensive grills can get up to 700F. Alas, they are not perfect. A dial setting of 1 may equal 275F on a 70F day, but it can be 225F on a cool, windy, or rainy day. Or 300F on a hot day. But once you get to know your instrument, it is pretty easy to manage, and if it has two or more burners it is easy to have two or more heat zones.

On a three-burner grill you might use a hot zone for meat, a medium zone for veggies, and a low zone for holding finished foods. It is

still necessary to know what temperature you are cooking at, and the thermometers on most gas grills are not precise, so I strongly recommend you buy a good digital oven thermometer and a good digital meat thermometer.

Most gas grills use metal plates, lava rocks, and ceramics to radiate heat, so there are no open flames, no flareups, and cleanup is easier because drips are usually vaporized.

There’s little or no ash, so gassers are easier to clean, but they suffer from carbon and grease buildups that need to be scraped or pressure washed every few months. There

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CON: Most gas grill lids do not seal well, so a lot of the smoke is lost.

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are also gas jets and venturis that can clog up. I have even had to dig a wasp’s nest out of one of the tubes once. Some people discard the lava rocks or ceramics every year. Others think that the buildup of grease in the porous materials produces desirable flavors. My brother-in-law makes the world’s finest swordfish on a crappy old gas grill with lava rocks he has been using since they were harvested in the last ice age.

Some of his lava rocks have begun to disintegrate and there are gaps where bare flame slips through to lick the meat. I have never been able to come close to his swordfish on all my fancy toys.

The biggest problem with gas grills is that only the top-end models get hot enough to get a steak crunchy on the exterior without overcooking the interior. If you like your steaks well-done, gas grills are perfect for you. But if you like your meat crunchy on the outside and rare to medium rare on the inside, the temp at which it is most tender and juicy, then most gas grills just don’t get the job done — emphasis on “most.” Many of the more expensive gas grills now come with “infrared” burners off to one side.

Infrared burners use a gas flame to

superheat a ceramic or metal plate that radiates much more heat than standard burners. As much as twice the heat. In the 700F plus range.

That’s the kind of temps that steakhouses cook at. They can give you those deep dark crusty steaks with red or pink interiors.

Infrared burners may be perfect for steaks, but they are much too hot for direct heat cooking of most

Gas grills outsell charcoal grills, and it is easy to understand why. They offer convenience and control.” fish and veggies. Even with steaks, you need to keep an eye on food over direct infrared. They can incinerate in a hurry.

Some high end gas grills also have smoke boxes for wood chips, but for most gas grills you need to make foil packets or put pans of wood down under the cooking grate near the flame. Even though it is not recommended, I often throw aromatic woods right down near the burners.

Alas, most gas grill lids do not seal well, so a lot of the smoke

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is lost and more wood is needed than on a tighter grill. Because the mechanisms are more complex, gas grills tend to be more expensive than comparable charcoal grills, assembly of new gas grills is more complex that charcoal grills, and there are more parts to break and be replaced.

THE TWO TYPES OF GAS With gas grills you have your choice of liquid propane (LP) or natural gas. LP gas comes in 20 pound steel tanks. If you have an LP grill you should always have a full backup tank on hand. Nothing is more annoying than setting

a chicken on the grill, cranking up the lawn mower, and returning in 30 minutes to discover that the tank ran out and the bird is raw.

Propane gas is ideal for grills because, when pressurized, it compresses and turns to liquid, making it easy to store in tanks.

It also contains more cooking energy than natural gas as measured in British Thermal Units (BTU). A BTU is the amount of energy required to raise the temperature of one pound of water 1F. There are about 2,500 BTU in one cubic foot of propane and only about 1,000 BTU in one cubic foot of natural gas.

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CON: With charcoal grills, there can be flareups that burn the food, which is a health risk.

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Gas grills typically range from 15,000 to 60,000 BTU per hour.

Manufacturers tout the number of BTU their grills can produce, but the number can be misleading. The number of BTU is not indicative of the heat it can generate. That must be calculated

by BTU per square inch, something they never tell you.

Natural gas is mostly methane.

It must be delivered to the grill by a pipeline from your house so a certified contractor will be needed to do the installation, and the grill must be parked in a permanent location. Propane grills cannot be hooked up to natural gas without an adapter kit, and the regulator may need to be adjusted. Natural gas is cheaper than LP gas and you never have to worry about running out, unless you don’t pay your gas bills.

WHICH TO BUY? I have one of each. Almost all my birds, fish, veggies, pizzas, and breads go on my LP gas grill, almost all my red meats go on my charcoal grill. If you’re starting out, and you want no fuss no muss, go gas. If you can afford it, get an infrared burner and a side burner.

2008 GRILL & SMOKER SHIPMENTS 57% GAS

41% CHARCOAL

2% ELECTRIC

14,397,000 TOTAL If you’re willing to put in a bit more time to gain mastery of your tool, then go charcoal, and look for one that let’s you raise and lower the coal.

Or you could buy the CharGriller Duo, which does both. Not a great grill, but I’ll bet we see more duos in the future.

I’m waiting for the trio.

Charcoal, gas and infrared!

Craig Goldwyn runs the BBQ/grilling site Amazing Ribs.

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APPROVAL

Get Your Grill On

SUMMER’S NEARLY HERE, which means it’s time to chill out — and get the grill out. You’ve got your matches, you’ve loaded up on meat and you’ve made your music mix. Now here are six apps to be sure your outdoor bash is as successful as it is saucy. — Bianca Bosker and Tim Stenovec

ACCUWEATHER

BEER BUDDY

WEBER’S ON THE GRILL

Good grilling requires good weather. Make sure the sun will shine on your smoke with Accuweather’s app, which includes “lifestyle” forecasts for dog walking, hair frizz and, yes, barbecuing.

What’s a grilled dinner without good beer?

Barcode-scanning app Beer Buddy provides reviews, ratings and other essential information about hundreds of thousands of beers.

The ultimate grilling app has recipes and tips for grilling, marinades and desserts. It also includes a timer to ensure that your meat, vegetables and fruit don’t get over-cooked.

FREE

$3.99

iTUNES TOP PAID FOOD & DRINK APPS 1

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FOOD NETWORK IN THE KITCHEN $1.99

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DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES $0.99

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PIZZA COMPASS $0.99

Just in case things go horribly awry, Pizza Compass will point the way to a slice so guests don’t go home hungry.

$3.99

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CHART SOURCE: APPLE; DATA AS OF 05/21/13

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POCKET RANGER PARK PASSPORT FREE

Want to move the party beyond your home? Use this GPS-enabled app to find activities like camping, white water rafting and stargazing in state parks near you.

NIKE TRAINING CLUB

STARMAP

Don’t burn the meat — but do burn it off. Use Nike’s suite of workout routines — complete with detailed videos and photos — to get fit postburger binge.

The party shouldn’t stop when the sun drops.

After your meal, feast on the stars with this interactive stargazing map, which points out precisely which constellation’s overhead.

FREE

GROCERY MATE $0.99

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ALLRECIPES.COM DINNER SPINNER PRO $2.99 FASTPALEO $0.99 CLEAN EATING RECIPES $2.99 COR.KZ WINE INFO $1.99

$4.99

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PAPRIKA RECIPE MANAGER FOR IPHONE $4.99

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MIXOLOGIST™ DRINK & COCKTAIL RECIPES $0.99

ROAD TRIP

LIFESTYLE TRAVEL

BEST SUMMER EVER HUFFINGTON 05.26.13

Destination: Food

GETTY IMAGES/LONELY PLANET IMAGES

BY KRISTEN AIKEN, KATELYN MULLEN, REBECCA ORCHANT AND JULIE THOMSON

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OAD-TRIP DINING has undergone a muchneeded makeover, thanks to the rising popularity of food trails. Believe us, greasy fast food might be the easiest option on the road, but it’s not the best. The solution? Make food the destination. Food trails are pre-planned maps of the culinary scene that take you on a delicious chase for the best of the best, whether it’s Texas barbecue, Hoosier pie in Indiana, or tacos in Southern California. We’ve picked nine of our favorite routes for you to explore this summer. So fill up your tank, find some pants with an elastic waistband and happy trails!

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Texas Barbecue Trail (2 days)

If you’re looking for good barbecue, you’ll find no shortage of it in Texas.

Take this two-day trail to hit up four must-taste spots (we really don’t think there’s anyone on the planet capable of eating barbecue more than twice a day, are we right?).

4. Franklin Barbecue

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franklinbarbecue.com 900 E. 11th St. Austin, TX 78702 (512) 653-1187

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Last year we had a 1-2 LOCKHART

3. The Salt Lick

saltlickbbq.com/ 18300 FM 1826 Driftwood, TX 78619 (512) 858-4959

1. Kreuz Market

FROM TOP: PAUL LOWRY/FLIKR; JOSHBOUSEL/FLICKR

kreuzmarket.com 619 North Colorado St. Lockhart, TX 78644 (512) 398-2361 Lockhart is considered by many to be the barbecue mecca of the world, and Kreuz (pronounces Krites) is a must-stop spot. They’ve been mastering the art of barbecue since 1900, using just a few basic seasonings and good wood to impart their signature flavor. Just don’t expect to get any sauce, because they think it masks the flavor of the meat.

2. Smitty’s Market smittysmarket.com 208 South Commerce Lockhart, TX 78644 (512) 398-9344

Once you’ve been to Kreuz Market, it’s only fair to compare it to its archrival, Smitty’s Market. When the owner of Kreuz died, he passed the family business down to his two children. His son Rick took over Kreuz, but after a fight over the rent, his daughter Nina branched out to open her own location, Smitty’s.

So which sibling serves the better barbecue?

You decide.

Specializing in brisket, sausage and pork ribs, you may have heard of his place lately (they actually have their own cookbook out now).

If you’re looking for something saucy, this is the place to get it.

And P.S.: for $19.95 per person, you can eat all the brisket, sausage, pork ribs, potato salad, cole slaw and beans that you’re able.

chance to eat Aaron Franklin’s famous brisket, and we’ll do just about anything to get close to it again. Get ready for tender meat that falls off the bone — that and long lines, presumably.

We think we’re saving the best for last on this trail.

Lodging: The Inn

Above Onion Creek www.innaboveonioncreek.com

This beautiful bed-andbreakfast sits on 88 acres of sprawling Texas hill country, and it’s just about half the distance from Smitty’s Market and The Salt Lick. Not that you’ll be hungry with all that BBQ on the brain, but a night’s stay at The Inn Above Onion Creek comes with a threecourse meal and a hot breakfast the following morning. There are also complimentary drinks and homemade cookies on-hand regularly. So, it just might be worth your while to stay an extra night.

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Missouri Wine Trail

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When you think of American wine, you think of the Napa Valley — not Missouri.

But believe it or not, there’s some fine wine to be had in the Midwest. We’ve got a one-day trail that’ll introduce you to the reds, whites and booze of Missouri.

1. Riverwood Winery

riverwoodwinery.com 22200 Highway 45 North Rushville, MO 64484 (816) 579-9797

MISSOURI DIVISION OF TOURISM/FLICKR

There’s a lot more to do here than just drink wine. Check out Riverwood’s calendar of events for live music and performances or themed wine tastings.

They even recommend

nearby locations for hiking and birding.

2. Jowler Creek

nwmissouriwine.com 16905 Jowler Creek Rd. Platte City, Missouri 64079 (816) 858-5528 Missouri’s first green vineyard and winery is just 30 minutes north of downtown Kansas City.

It’s worth the visit just to see the grazing sheep

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and chickens that keep the land up to par, but Jowler also boasts nine award-winning wines.

We know that’s why you’re really there.

3. Ladoga Ridge Winery

ladogaridgewinery.com 100 E. Pope Ln. Smithville, Missouri 64089 (816) 866-4077 If you like your wine fruity, this is the

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place for you. Ladoga Ridge won six medals in the 2013 Finger Lakes International Wine Competition, and check out four of the flavors that won: Chococherry Kiss, Strawberry Rhubarb, Blackberry and Peach.

4. Belvoir Winery

belvoirwinery.com 1325 Odd Fellows Rd. Liberty, MO 64068 (816) 200-1811 Open seven days a week, Belvoir has one of the most gorgeous settings of the bunch. Take a stroll around the historic property, which includes Belvoir’s own vineyards on site. Make sure you get a taste of all six varieties: three reds and three whites.

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FOOD TRAILS CULTURE TRAVEL

3. Mrs. Wick’s Pies wickspies.com 100 Cherry St. Winchester, IN 47394 (765) 584-7437

Hoosier Pie Trail

Who doesn’t love sugar and cream?

The state of Indiana has embraced the greatness of Hoosier Pie so warmly that it’s created an official Hoosier Pie Trail.

We’ve selected our top picks so you can enjoy all the sweet, creamy deliciousness yourself.

PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TK SUSI.BSU/FLICKR

1. Stories Restaurant

yelp.com/biz/storiesrestaurant-greensburg-2 109 E. Main St. Greensburg, IN 47240 (812) 663-2114 Open since 1977, Stories is a family joint that’s become a must-stop spot on the Hoosier Pie Trail for its friendly atmosphere. Other than

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its stellar Hoosier Pie, you can also get your hands on some good old Indiana comfort food, from pan-fried chicken to hotcakes and breaded-marinated pork sandwiches.

2. HighPoint Orchard and Farm Market highpointorchard.com 3321 N. US Highway 421

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Greensburg, IN 47240 (812) 663-4534 Your second stop in Greensburg sits atop the highest hill in the county and is surrounded by blooming fruit trees.

Once you’ve had your fill of Hoosier Pie, try your luck with their other fresh-baked desserts, or make the most of their gardens with an edible blossom salad.

This place is serious business — they’ve got their own pie factory next door. But their cozy bakery will feel just like home, and their pies have been in the making since 1944.

They serve a full menu of food, but the pie is obviously the highlight.

Our tip: You can even take home “seconds” from the pie factory.

4. Herschberger Essen Haus Hoosier Comfort Food indianafoodways.com 223 N. Jefferson St. Converse, IN 46902 (765) 395-5905

Doesn’t the name alone just pull you in?

Country-style food is served up Indianastyle, from big slices of homemade bread slathered with apple butter to fried chicken, meatloaf, and just about every kind of pie you can imagine. Good luck fitting back into your car on the way home.

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Vermont Cheese Trail

HANOVER

The fact that you can drive through Vermont in just a matter of hours might make you overlook its culinary contributions, but when it comes to cheese, Vermont is where it’s at. If you’re a fan of goat or sheep’s milk cheese, Vermont offers award-winning varieties. And of course, this state has long mastered cheddar.

GREEN MOUNTAIN NATIONAL FOREST

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1. Grafton Village Cheese

graftonvillagecheese. com 400 Linden St. Brattleboro, VT 05301 (802) 246-2221

HOBER/FLICKR

If cheddar is the dairy that rules your heart, you need to make a stop at Grafton Village Cheese where they still make their cheddars in the same tradition as when they first started in 1892. It’s handcrafted,

perfectly aged and made from Jersey cow milk sourced from small Vermont family farms.

2. Vermont Shepherd

vermontshepherd.com 281 Patch Farm Rd. Putney, VT 05346 (802) 387-4473 The cheesemakers that run Vermont Shepherd only make one kind of cheese (also called the Vermont Shepherd)

and it has been completely perfected.

This aged sheep’s milk cheese, descended from a variety of Pyrenees mountain cheeses, is more than worth the trip for any cheese lover.

3. Twig Farm

twigfarm.com 2575 S Bingham St. West Cornwall, VT 05778 (802) 462-3363

A trip to Twig Farm doesn’t just mean you’ll get your hands on an array of award-winning goat cheeses, but a scenic visit to an idyllic farm. After a taste of the artisanal cheese, and a day at this picturesque spot, you won’t ever want to go home.

4. Willow Hill Farm sheepcheese.com 313 Hardscrabble Rd. Milton, VT 05468 (802) 893-2963

Willow Hill Farm makes award-winning sheep and cow’s milk cheeses.

The owners attribute it to their old world technique of aging the cheeses in underground caves.

Whatever the trick is, it works. And it’s worth the drive up north to try them all — even if it’s at the Canadian border.

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California Tacos

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No matter how many NEWPORT good tacos you’ve eaten BEACH in your life, if you haven’t had a taco from Southern California, you don’t know tacos.

The heavy Mexican influence, combined with the freshness of California cuisine, makes for a taco like no other.

Take our advice and come hungry.

1. Las Cuatro Milpas

1857 Logan Ave. San Diego, CA 92113 (619) 234-4460

THE_PHOTOGRAPHER/FLICKR

Considering how close San Diego is to Mexico, you can be sure about the quality of their tacos in general. But the ones at Las Cuatro Milpas will far surpass your expectations. The lines

do wrap around the block, but the dirt-cheap rolled tacos are definitely worth the wait.

2. Bear Flag Fish Co newport.bearflagfishco. com 407 31st St. Newport Beach, CA 92663 (949) 673-3474

Bear Flag Fish Co is not exclusively a taqueria.

It comes with one of each taco and is a great reason to eat six tacos in one sitting.

4. El Parián

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It’s more of a fish market turned eatery that just so happens to serve some of the best fish tacos you can find on the western coast. Because when it comes to fish tacos, freshness is key. And that’s guaranteed at this fish market.

3. Guisados

guisados.co 2100 East Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90033 (323) 264-7201 You won’t find anything else on the menu at Guisados besides tacos and aguas frescas, but believe us, you don’t want any other dish.

Don’t think twice about what to order. Get the sampler platter.

1528 W. Pico Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90015 (213) 386-7361 When it comes to great tacos in Los Angeles, you’ve got many options. And the giant tacos you can get at El Parián are high on that list of greatness. While the carne asada taco impresses everyone, it’s the birria served with housemade tortillas that makes one taco you’ll never forget.

5. La Super-Rica Taqueria 622 N. Milpas St. Santa Barbara, CA 93103 (805) 963-4940

As you wait in line to order a taco (or four) at La Super-Rica Taqueria, you can watch the cooks make fresh corn tortillas right in front of you. It’s just one of the reasons that this tiny spot has been a favorite with locals for so many decades.

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Maryland Seafood Trail

Anyone who loves seafood knows that Maryland is the place to for crab. Their crab boils are epic — and the quintessential summer activity. Picture it: allyou-can-eat fresh crab piled on top of the table in front of you. Just don’t forget to try the other seafood too — namely the crab cakes.

1. Bertha’s Restaurant & Bar berthas.com 734 South Broadway Fells Point, MD 21231 410/327-5795

JOFF LEE/ GETTY IMAGES

Don’t even bother looking at the menu at Bertha’s. Listen to their bumper sticker and t-shirt slogan (“Eat Bertha’s Mussels”) and order the mussels.

They’re known across the state for their many

variations of steamed mussels. And depending on the night, you can also hear a live jazz concert.

2. G & M Restaurant

gandmcrabcakes.com 804 N Hammonds Ferry Rd. Linthicum Heights, MD 21090 (410) 636-1777 You can’t visit Maryland without eating a crab cake. And you can’t get

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a crab cake unless you try one from G&M. Their broiled crab cakes are made with 8 oz. of fresh meat, just perfectly seasoned and with very little filler. It’s perfection.

3. Cantler’s Riverside Inn

cantlers.com 458 Forest Beach Rd. Annapolis, MD 21409 (410) 757-1311 This crab shack might be hard to find (we’re

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warning you ahead of time), but the reward is the freshest crab you can get your hands on. They’re unloaded right onto the dock of Cantler’s! We recommend the rockfish stuffed with crab imperial, paired with a light beer.

4. Sneaky Pete’s

12913 Ocean Gateway Ocean City, MD 21842 (410) 213-1771 If you’re looking for a true Maryland crabeating experience, you’ll find it at Sneaky Pete’s.

The menu offers a wellpriced, all-you-can-eat crab special served with corn on the cob (and Old Bay seasoning, or course). If you’re lucky enough to score outdoor seating, you can feast in one of the canoes tied to the docks.

Michigan Coney Trail

Do yourself a huge favor and do not call a Michigan Coney dog a chili dog. The essential components: an all-beef, natural casing hot dog, all-meat, bean-less chili, diced white onions, yellow mustard on a bun.

Prepare your stomachs for this trail — you’ll want a milkshake to wash it down.

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4. Angelo’s Coney Island

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angelosconeyisland. com 1816 Davison Rd. Flint, MI 48506 (810) 238-3761

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1. Zingerman’s Delicatessen

PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TK CARLCOLLINS/FLICKR

zingermansdeli.com 422 Detroit St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 734.663.3354 This is kind of cheating. You won’t be eating a Coney at Zingerman’s Deli, but you should get one of their excellent bagels, pastries or fresh egg dishes and coffee before you set sail for Coney-town. There is no place like this deli for smiling faces and Michigan hospitality.

2. American Coney Island

americanconeyisland. com 114 W. Lafayette Detroit, MI 48226 (586) 219-0995 Every town has an infamous food rivalry, and American vs.

Lafayette (stop #3) is Detroit’s. American is one of the oldest Coney joints in the country, and they take their craft pretty seriously.

3. Lafayette Coney Island

roadfood.com 118 W. Lafayette Blvd.

Detroit, MI 48226 (313) 964-8198 If you did a double-take at the address, you’re not dreaming — Lafayette Coney and American Coney are right next to each other. Originally started by two competing brothers, every Detroiter has chosen a side.

Whose side are you on?

Angelo’s is a Flint institution. The Flintstyle Coney differs from the Detroit style, in that it’s topped with not so much a chili sauce as a spicy ground beef topping.

We have it on good authority that you will not want to miss their onion rings and milkshakes while you’re here.

5. Mussel Beach Restaurant

facebook.com/pages/ Mussel-Beach-DriveIn/282812075515 3540 State Park Dr. Bay City, MI 48706 (989) 686-0575 This iconic roadside stop on the shores of Lake Huron placed in the top three Coney dogs in Michigan, right behind our two Detroit stops. You definitely don’t want to skip the onion rings.

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Kentucky Bourbon Trail (2 Days)

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When people think of Kentucky, some think 1 CLERMONT bluegrass, others think L BLOOMFIELD derby. We only think of bourbon. Kentucky 2 has its own official bourbon BARDSTOWN trail, but our two-day version is veering just slightly off that route to share one of our favorite distilleries in America with you.

1. Jim Beam American Stillhouse http://www.americanstillhouse.com/ 526 Happy Hollow Rd. Clermont, KY 40110 (502) 543-9877

PHOTO COURTESY OR ILLUSTRATION OF BUFFALO CREDIT TRACE DISTILLERY TK

Jim Beam is responsible for around half the world’s bourbon supply, so it is a must-stop just outside Louisville.

Other notable labels in the Beam family include Knob Creek, Booker’s, Baker’s and Basil Hayden’s.

2. Heaven Hill Distillery

www.heavenhill.com 1311 Gilkey Run Rd. Bardstown, KY 40004 (502) 337-1000 Heaven Hill Distillery is located in Bardstown, Ky. — recently voted most beautiful small town in America.

Heaven Hill, while

lesser known than some of the other bourbon names on this trail, holds the title of America’s largest, independently-owned, family-run distillery.

And their bourbon is delicious and affordable.

3. Four Roses Distillery

www.fourrosesbourbon.com 1224 Bonds Mill Rd. Lawrenceburg, KY 40342 (502) 839-2655 The Four Roses historic Spanish-mission-style architecture will make you feel like you’ve been dropped off in the old west, but don’t worry, the bourbon’s much better than theirs. This mellow, smooth whiskey is one of our favorites.

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4. Buffalo Trace Distillery

https://www.buffalotracedistillery.com/ 113 Great Buffalo Trace Frankfort, KY 40601 (800) 654-8471 Here’s where we veer off the traditional trail a bit. From bottom to top shelf, every whiskey made at this distillery is exceptional. Their namesake is one of our favorite whiskeys, and this distillery is now also

responsible for Blanton’s, George Stagg and the elusive cult obsession, Pappy Van Winkle.

LODGING: Springhill Winery Plantation Bed and Breakfast springhillwinery.com

The Springhill Winery Plantation Bed and Breakfast is a gorgeous little hideaway in historic Bloomfield, Ky., less than a half hour from your distillery destinations.

The plantation home offers a relaxing vibe with its sprawling pastures and charming bike paths. If you’re visiting on a weekend, be sure to rise early for their full country breakfast.

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FOOD TRAILS CULTURE TRAVEL

Baton Rouge Food Truck Trail

This trail is more like a scavenger hunt. Although generally within Baton Rouge city limits, these roving trucks are usually in different locations all around the city. Follow the trucks on Twitter for updates, or time your visit to catch one of the BR Food Truck Round-ups on Wednesdays.

BATON ROUGE

option, which sounds like lunchtime to us.

3. Taco De Paco tacodepaco.com @TacodePaco

1. GoYaYa’s Crepes

FROM TOP: PHOTO OR ILLUSTRATION BUTTERBEAN CREDIT MAN/FLICKR; TK COURTESY OF GOYAYA’S CREPES

goyayas.com @GOyayas

This creperie on wheels now has it’s own brick-and-mortar location as well, if that’s more your thing.

Start this trail off with either sweet or savory crepe, and know that no one will judge you if you eat a Muffuletta crepe for breakfast.

2. ThreeBones Catering

www.facebook.com/ ThreeBonesCater @ThreeBonesCater Three Bones Catering serves up mobile Cajun classics with a twist — think shrimp, crawfish and andouille quesadillas, po’ boys and fried pickles. This truck also features a Build Your Own Grilled Cheese

Is any food city complete without a taco truck? Taco de Paco’s tacos and burritos range from authentic (carne asada, beans, cilantro) to Tex-Mex (roasted chicken, peppers, onions and cheese) to Asian (pulled pork, Hoisin sauce, Thai

slaw). We’re betting there’s some Cajun flair thrown in there as well.

4. Ninja Snowballs facebook.com/ninjasnowballs @NinjaSnowballs

For dessert, grab yourself a snowball.

These icy treats come in a dizzying array of flavors, some of which we’ve never heard of on a sno-cone before. We’re talking red velvet cake, fuzzy navel and — of course — king cake.

TONI L. SANDYS/THE WASHINGTON POST VIA GETTY IMAGES

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LIFESTYLE TRAVEL

LOOKING FORWARD IN ANGST

Summertime, and the Season Is Silly UMMERTIME IS ON the wing, and in Washington, that means only one thing — pretty soon, the relative humidity and wretched air quality index will combine to make the entire D.C.-Metro area a sweltering, inhospitable environment that feels like you are walking around inside the jockstrap of

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the world’s first gorilla-triathlete.

It is fetid, and unpleasant, is what I’m saying, and everyone with the means to leave for any amount of time shall do so.

This is among the reasons that the month of August — where Washington’s gorilla-crotchness is reaching its yearly zenith — has traditionally been known as a “slow

In a widely ridiculed speech last August, Clint Eastwood addresses a chair as if Obama is in it at the RNC.

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news month.” You hear about it every year. “Oh,” pundits opine, “this is the slow-news month.” As if things are just not going to happen.

Of course, things do happen, and as it turns out, things can often happen a lot, in August. Last year, as Zachary Seward pointed out, August was a month of peak things-happening. Libya had this whole big civil war, and Londoners rioted in the streets, and Hurricane Irene pounded the East Coast, so lots of people missed the memo that it was supposed to be a slow news month. When it was all over, Seward took a look at Factiva and determined that August of 2012 was pretty newsy, at least compared to other Augusts: “It turns out that 7.85% more news was published in August than would normally be expected, the largest such jump over the past ten years. The only other August that comes close was in 2004, which saw a 5.37% increase in August news ahead of the presidential election.”

Nevertheless, year over year, August has been fairly inconsistently newsy, lending some credence to the whole “slow news month” concept. But there’s an-

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other noteworthy aspect to August apart from its reputation for slowness, and that’s its reputation for being the month that everyone acts like a complete idiot.

The other name for August, in media circles, is “silly season,” because it’s the period of time where

There’s another noteworthy aspect to August apart from its reputation for slowness, and that’s its reputation for being the month that everyone acts like a complete idiot.” stupidity seems to overtake everyone. And it seems to be something of a global phenomenon.

According to Wikipedia there are “comparable periods” in other nations. The French, poetically, refer to it as la morte-saison.

The Germans call it Sommerloch (which means “summer hole”). The Swedes have this awesome deathmetal sounding term for it called nyhetstorka. As in, “Good evening Stockholm, we are Nyhetstorka and we are about to rock you with our crushing disappointment!” I have

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to imagine that Russia’s is called, “Нет рубашку Путина Сезон,” which translates roughly to, “No shirt Putin season,” in recognition of the fact that Vladimir Putin will always be doing something, topless, during that period of time.

The Wikipedia also says that “in many languages, the name for the silly season references cucumbers.”

That is something I am not going to touch. I trust, however, that I’ve made my point. Which is, “you should get a jump on the silly season spirit by padding out your column with Wikipedia trivia.”

Even though last August was not slow, it certainly lived up to its reputation for silliness. It was last August that Dick Morris said he’d seen “the real numbers,” and that Romney was headed for a landslide.

Conservatives called for Romney advisor Andrea Saul to be fired for mentioning that her boss had racked up some impressive achievements as governor of Massachusetts. Todd Akin made his famous “legitimate rape” gaffe, pissing away an election in which he might have otherwise contended. The month closed out with the sight of Clint Eastwood, babbling incomprehensibly at a chair, on national television.

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August isn’t just when figures in the news go to their dumb place. The media sort of descends into a fugue state as well.

Last August, the Weekly Standard, taking leave of their senses, started a countdown clock, counting down the minutes until President Obama was going to replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton on the Democratic ticket, because that was sure to happen. (That clock is still up, ticking restlessly into the future.) Days later, some idiot managed to trick a lot of people into believing that Paul Krugman was on Google Plus, promoting the economic benefits of earthquakes. Google Plus!

Elsewhere, pundits used their perches in August to make risible complaints about the American people. Sheryl Gay Stolberg contended that the American people

As Congress empties its seats to go on vacation, the media malfunctions.

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were really to blame for Congressional gridlock, saying, “If Americans want to know why their elected officials can’t compromise, these scholars and pundits say, perhaps they ought to look in the mirror.”

(Thomas Ferguson swatted this away by pointing out that available data demonstrated that there was “little evidence that Congressional polarization is rooted in sharp differences in public sentiment.”)

Stollberg wasn’t alone — days earlier, Tom Brokaw summed up the summer’s debt ceiling crisis by suggesting that the American people got what they deserved.

Of course, when it comes to August’s effects on the media’s brainpan, you really can’t find a finer example than the August of 2010.

That was the year a bored media managed to elevate an otherwise non-notable, anti-Muslim crank named Terry Jones into a media celebrity, as the culminating event in their slipshod coverage of the “Ground Zero Mosque” controversy.

More than anything else, the “slow news month”/“silly season” signifiers exist to absolve the media in advance of whatever terrible nonsense they are about to get up to, because they are bored and

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sweaty and sad that all the powerful elites to whom they normally have access are away on vacation.

So that’s what summer is like, for those who ply their trade in the world of Beltway politics: a hot swamp of idiocy, laziness, and error, where seriousness rarely finds

The media ... are bored and sweaty and sad that all the powerful elites to whom they normally have access are away on vacation.” a purchase. I still recall the words of one of Washington’s most decorated soulless government functionaries, Bush White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card, who said, “From a marketing point of view, you don’t introduce new products in August.” The “new product” he was referring to? The Iraq War, which I think we can all agree was much too sensible and intelligent to be associated with “silly season.”

Oh wait, you say the White House Iraq Group was formed in August? Never mind, then.

That’s just perfect.

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Bug Juice for the Pubescent Soul FOR TWO WEEKs every summer between the ages of 10 and 13, I went to a Quaker sleepaway camp in the rolling hills of eastern Pennsylvania. (I always like to mention right off the bat that it was run by Quakers because it makes people who are familiar with my general misanthropy and tendency to snark about petty celebrity feuds look at me in a new

light, as though I might be filled with inner peace instead of my usual fillings of red wine and partially hydrogenated palm oil).

I never really fit in (I was more of an “indoor” child, fond of reading quietly and avoiding activities that required shorts), but I kept going back in the hopes that camp would make me tan and well-rounded, the kind of person who never cried dur-

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ing gym. It was probably obvious to anyone who saw me that I wasn’t a born camper: pale, skinny and shy around people I didn’t know, I took every chance I had to seek shelter in the arts and crafts cabin, where I could make yarn God’s eyes or SpinArt paintings or lopsided lanyard keychains for hours with absolutely no physical exertion or contact with anyone else.

But even though I like to joke that I “failed” at camp — which, spoiler alert, you can’t really do, unless you set fire to a building or pull a Lord of the Flies — the experience taught me many lessons that I continue to apply to my adult life. To wit:

Carrie is Actually a Documentary

I’m guessing prison-style showers are awkward for anyone, but being a hormone-riddled adolescent during my first exposure to group nudity wasn’t doing me any favors.

Neither was the fact that one of my chest nubs (I cannot fairly call them breasts, as they were more like an amoebic version, lurching out of the primordial ooze of puberty) decided to sprout before the other, giving my pale, sporadically

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hairy body the look of a tiny fronthunchback. It also did not help that the older and more genetically blessed counselors were shaving their legs all around me. Picture the opening scene from Carrie and you get the picture. Just replace the telekinesis with a unibrow.

Nothing Says I Love You Like a Handwritten Letter

Granted, in my camp days the cutting edge of cellular technology was a car phone, and the internet was basically just a clip art file of an

Camp songs run the gamut from completely nonsensical to soberingly self-reflective, but my personal favorite ditty was a cheerful celebration, in rhyme, of the sinking of the Titanic.” anthropomorphic cursor, but mail call was the most joyous time of each day. There was no sign of familial love greater than a care package stuffed with Tiger Beats and Blow Pops, but running a very close second was a handwritten letter on folded notebook paper, which still to this day makes my heart skip a

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beat (and is why I can never truly hate on the USPS even when the lines at my local post office reach justifiable homicide lengths). Being precocious, I arrived at camp bearing a sheaf of hand-drawn personalized stationery that I had run off at the local copy shop. They bore a cartoon likeness of my own face, with a speech bubble for text.

I trademarked my work as an “Uny Toon.” (Yeah, I had some time on my hands. See above re: lanyard keychains.)

COURTESY OF UNA LAMARCHE

Tragedy + Time = Songs in the Round

Camp songs run the gamut from completely nonsensical (John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt cannot possibly be two people’s names, I’m sorry) to soberingly self-reflective (I dare you to find a starker example of existential angst than “Found a Peanut”), but my personal favorite ditty was a cheerful celebration, in rhyme, of the sinking of the Titanic, the chorus of which exclaimed: Oh, it was sad (So sad!)

Oh, it was sad (Too bad!)

It was sad when the great ship went down to the bottom of the— (Husbands and wives, little chil-

dren lost their lives!)

—SEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA. It’s all part of the healing process, really.

The Higher You Climb, The Harder You Fall

The top bunk was coveted real estate in the cabins at my camp, but since the “walls” were actually just rolled-up tarps that stayed open unless it rained, sleeping on the top bunk also meant risking waking up to find your pillow/

Una’s handdrawn, personalized stationery with a cartoon likeness of herself.

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Pound Puppy/retainer buried in the dirt under a blanket of morning dew. If there’s a more profound metaphor for the journey of life, I’m too lazy to think of it.

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Simon and Garfunkel Is the Great Party Equalizer

There was always a dance at some point during camp (because why waste such an opportunity for mosquito bites and abject humiliation?) which I looked forward to much more than I let on. I looked forward to it because my elementary school crush also went to my camp, and I always fantasized that he would ask me to dance to “In Your Eyes,” which was played without fail every time, because it was the early 90s and John Cusack was still ruining romantic gestures for everyone between the ages of 12 and death.

But whoever was in charge of the dance music had put together a carefully curated set list that never varied over the years, and after the inevitable letdown of Peter Gabriel’s lusty pack-a-day vocals playing to an all but empty dancefloor, the cafeteria would fill with the irresistible hand-clapping intro to “Cecilia” by Simon and

Garfunkel, and we would all rush in from our spots along the wall (or, if you were me, by the cookies), acting out the words, getting down on our knees and begging each other please to come home.

That song remains a crowdpleaser among my now thirtysomething friends. (And I still listen wistfully to “In Your Eyes,” but that doesn’t really count as a lesson so much as a recurring therapy topic.)

Una LaMarche is a proud graduate of Camp Onas, which is still going strong and might even still play the same mix tape at the dance for all she knows.

She is the former managing editor of the New York Observer, and her debut young adult novel, Five Summers, also set at camp, is available wherever books are sold.

Simon and Garfunkel, a.k.a. providers of perfect summer camp moments.

20%

DATA

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19%

18%

17%

HIT BY A WEATHER DISASTER

16%

21%

15%

14%

13%

AIRLINE LOST LUGGAGE

21%

GOT EXTREMELY LOST

19%

OVERCHARGED BY SALESPERSON

16%

12%

11%

10%

I Know What Did You in Last Summer

MISSED CONNECTING TRANSPORTATION

16%

Summer may be a time of fun and reckless abandon, but that doesn’t mean it’s all roses. In 2012, Americans dealt with their fair share of headaches during the popular traveling season. Our best words of advice to you: proceed with caution.

9%

8%

7%

INJURY, ILLNESS OR MEDICAL ISSUE

6%

SOURCE: LIVING SOCIAL/STATISTA

5%

4%

3%

RAN OUT OF CASH / NO ACCESS TO MONEY

08%

EXPERIENCE STRIKE OR CIVIL UNREST

05%

2%

1%

ARRESTED / OTHER RUN-IN WITH THE LAW

03%

11%

BLACKOUT OR HANGOVER FROM ALCOHOL

07%

COULDN’T FIND BATHROOM IN TIME

07%

BITTEN BY BEDBUGS

FORGOT PASSPORT OR ID

05%

05%

VICTIM OF A SCAM

03%

PICKPOCKETED OR ROBBED

05%

BREAK UP WITH SIGNIFICANT OTHER

04%

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Beaches on High

BY PRISCILLA FRANK

PHOTOGRAPHS BY GRAY MALIN

If you’re pining for the white sand, salty waves and teeny bikinis beyond your sad cubicle walls, may we suggest a photo series for you. Traveling photographer Gray Malin’s A La Plage spans six continents (in 16 helicopters!), capturing the world’s dreamiest beaches from a bird’s eye view.

In an email to The Huffington Post, Malin explained how his passion for beaches extends beyond the obvious. “A simple beach or pool becomes a blank canvas that allows me to start seeing the world as art,” he wrote. Ahead, take a look at some of Malin’s sun-soaked photographs of beaches from on high, with a few words from the artist.

CAMPS BAY, CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA Wow. I cannot say enough amazing things about Cape Town. The city took me by surprise in every single way — especially the beautiful beaches sprawling along the coast. I hope to return to South Africa many times in my life.

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COOGEE BEACH, AUSTRALIA

The weather had been rainy all summer in Sydney, and when weather.com suddenly reported a beautiful weekend, I decided to fly down for two nights and give it my best shot. Sure enough, it was the most beautiful weather, and it seemed that all of Sydney came out for my shoot. I loved the way the Aussies spaced themselves on the beach almost perfectly.

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DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

I came across these two paddle boarders along the famous man-made Palm Island in the center of Dubai. The emerald water was the perfect backdrop to capture the moment — something about this image is very calming to me.

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HAMPTONS MONTAUK NAVY BEACH, NEW YORK

This was the very last beach we came across during my Hamptons shoot, and it immediately became my favorite. The lush green foliage plays so beautifully with the hues of the ocean.

Also, there were tons of surfers, who were a lot of fun to photograph as well.

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LISBON, PORTUGAL

The day we flew over Lisbon happened to be gorgeous, but incredibly windy. I felt like a leaf in the wind getting blown around while leaning out capturing the incredibly vibrant beaches that sprawled all along the Atlantic coastline. Besides the wind, Lisbon was a true gem to photograph.

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL

Rio de Janeiro was one of the most crowded beaches I have ever seen in my life. Our pilot didn’t speak English so we had a a translator in the helicopter, which was pretty wild. Rio remains my favorite beach city of all time.

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MAROUBRA BAY, AUSTRALIA

This was one of the first images I photographed during my Australia shoot. We came over a bluff, and a group of surfers had gathered for a lesson of sorts. My favorite part of this image is the colors of all the surfboards against the translucent water of the bay.

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ST. TROPEZ, FRANCE

If only all of my photo shoots took place in the South of France! Photographing over the famous Pampelonne Beach was absolutely stunning. The yachts in the bay were also a lot of fun to see from above. I love the repetition of the colorful chairs from the various beach clubs.

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