Lesson_6_Being_Considerate_of_the_Benefit_of_Others

Opening Stor y

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

A blind man walked along the road at night with a bucket on his head and a lamp in one hand.

A person he encountered on the road noticed he was blind and asked, “That’s really weird. Why are you holding a lamp when you can’t see?”

He replied, “So that you won’t run into me.

This lamp is not for me, but it is for you.”

How to apply being considerate

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1. Why do we need to be considerate?

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.

A. A. Milne (English Author, 1882-1956)

1. Why is it necessary to consider other people’s constructiveness together?

Why do we have to be considerate to others when it is difficult to take care of myself especially in this era? Since prehistoric times until today, society has been structured so that humanity can protect itself from the outside environment and ensure society. However, at the same time, there have been various conflicts and disputes due to various values.

Humanity needs to make an effort to understand each other’s perspective to live in harmony without conflicts and disputes. We need to understand the perspective and situation of others and consider the values of others first.

The value of consideration is essential to creating a peaceful organization with individuals and the society. Through consideration, we can cultivate virtue as human beings.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

2. Factors that interfere with consideration 1) Lack of community awareness When we look at the various countries of the world, the cultures and customs of each country are very different. People not only look different, but their values and lifestyles also differ from one another. Moreover, society seems to become more individualized and fragmented as time passes by. Recently, through articles and news, the community consciousness of society is collapsing and it is heard that egoism is spreading. Regardless of what happens to my organization or community, the idea of “myself first” and the moral laxity of solely considering one’s own benefit have had a negative impact on society as a whole. There are concerns that it will become a society that has lost the value of the community. Selfinterest is increasingly encouraged amid material affluence, and the value of considering others seems to be gradually losing ground.

Why do we need to be considerate?

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In the picture above, the boat represents a community. The people in the upper portion of the boat are indifferent and take no action because they think it is someone else’s problem. However, if you look closely, you can quickly see that there is no water coming into the indifferent individuals’ direction just yet; however, in the end, it will all become a relatable problem for these individuals. If the problem is not solved together, the boat that I am a part of will eventually sink. Peace is difficult to achieve in a society that lacks a sense of community.

2) Destruction of Nature and Life-Warning Winds The greatest crisis of modern society is nature dying in the shadow of rapid industrialization and growth. Human centrism along with science and technology have separated man from nature. Society has only thought of nature as a resource for the affluence of human life. The dualistic idea of separating man from nature, and the perception that man dominates nature, has only focused on how humans can acquire more resources from nature.

This philosophy developed since the modern times emphasized efficiency, and has made moral and ethical issues secondary. This consciousness makes society a phenomenon of the contempt and destruction of life, and promotes a selfish societal climate in which self-interests can be prioritized over any consideration for others.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

3. Begin with care to build the character of peace It is love that makes human relationships the most meaningful. Love makes man whole. Love begins with care and consideration. When someone cares about a person first, that person feels and reciprocates both gratitude and love. Words and deeds that care for someone are not small, though they may seem trivial.

Care is an attitude and action that drives the positive side of us to be expressed outwards. Care helps us transform our selfishness, greed, hatred, prejudice, doubt, and aggression that governs our thoughts into love, respect, understanding, gratitude, and compassion for others. Care is the basic material that links our increasingly-fragmented society and members of a community, and restores them into a community of harmony and peace.

Care can easily begin in everyday life. It can be a small expression of concern and care for another person.

giving up one’s seat on buses or subways

holding the door for another person

sharing an umbrella when it rains

Why do we need to be considerate?

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It may be small, but it is considerate to help people without turning a blind eye to small inconveniences or difficulties, such as giving up one’s seat on buses or subways, or holding the door for another person, or sharing an umbrella when it rains. It is also a form of active consideration to carry out a positive act while thinking, “How can this other person be happier?”

Care is like air in a room. When there is air, a person does not recognize the presence of that air; however, when there is no air, it becomes noticeably stuffy. If the societies or organizations in which I live feel harmonious with one another, it is because they are showing consideration for each other.

Both large and small forms of caring exist, similar to how air allows us to breathe together. In order to create a community of peace and a community that lives together, I must first be a person with consideration for the good of others.

If you do something for someone else, never remember.

If someone does something for you, never forget.

Dale Carnegie (American Author and Professor, 1888-1955)

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

Discussion 1. What kinds of experiences and small acts of consideration have warmed up your heart?

2. What kind of experiences have you experienced that lacked consideration and made you feel offended?

3. Let’s share our thoughts on how showing an attitude of mutual consideration for one another can have an impact on the community.

Why do we need to be considerate?

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2. Benefits and cases of consideration

Kind words do not cost much.

Yet they accomplish much.

Blaise Pascal (French mathematician and philosopher, 1623-1662)

1. Consideration affects people’s happiness and health.

When being considerate, you experience positive emotions and constant joy. According to experiments conducted by Professor Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania, it is confirmed that doing something nice for others resonates with people much stronger than other joyous activities such as having fun with friends, watching movies, and drinking warm chocolate milk.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

One third-year student from a university was asked by her nephew to teach him math. She explained what she felt after helping her nephew. “All throughout the day, I listened to others in a more positive way than usual, and it made my mind calm. Also, it felt like people liked me a lot more than before.”

Such kind acts bring bliss rather than temporary pleasure. This bliss lasts a bit longer than other temporary positive emotions. When being kind to others, you are deeply committed to the work. Therefore, time flies.

To be happy, one student applied to the University of Pennsylvania to get a Master’s Degree in Economics so he could learn how to make a lot of money. However, he confessed to Professor Martin Seligman that he realized helping others makes him much happier than shopping and spending money.

Being considerate not only brings positive emotions, but also positively influences the physical body. According to research from the University of Michigan’s psychology department regarding long-term married couples living in Baltimore, more than 70% are living lives being considerate toward others without any compensation. In other research, being considerate helps the immune system while lowering hypertension and cholesterol levels. Also, it releases endorphins three times the normal amount to bring vital energy to the body.

The benefits and cases of consideration

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2. Consideration deeply moves and touches people.

1) I can love only one person at a time.

When Mother Teresa passed away, many authors came from all over the world to honor her noble life. An editorial introduced an article in which Ivy League students filled an auditorium to listen to a very small and humble nun’s lecture. Many famous people had already shined in this auditorium, but Mother Teresa was the first to fill the venue to a point where the audience did not have a place to stand.

Students gathered with awe and respect to hear the lecture of a small, old woman who had no fortune or a title in a big company. This woman did not make food to feed everyone in the world, nor did she form the United Nations for world peace. She only took interest in each person she encountered, showered them with love, and cared for them with all of her heart.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

I never look at the masses as my responsibility.

I look at the individual.

I can love only one person at a time.

I can feed only one person at a time.

Just one, one, one.

Mother Teresa (Catholic nun who worked with the poor in India)

After all, what she showed the world is not an achievement of taking responsibility over the masses, but the noblest form of consideration that can be seen in our daily lives. She took interest in each and every person she encountered, worried and cared for them with all of her heart, and ultimately her love and sincerity had touched everyone in the world.

The benefits and cases of consideration

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2) Paid in full with one glass of milk One day in 1880, a student named Howard Kelly was selling goods door to door to pay his way through school. He was not able to sell any goods that day and found he only had one dime left. He had not eaten all day, so he went to the next house and knocked on the door to ask for a meal.

A lovely young woman opened the door, and the shy boy asked for just a cup of water. However, the young woman brought him a glass of milk. She knew he was hungry. Kelly drank all of the milk quickly and asked, “How much do I owe you?” The young woman responded, “Mother has taught me to never accept pay for a kindness.” Kelly never forgot this small act of kindness, and studied hard to become a famous obstetrician-gynecologist.

Many years later, Howard Kelly met a patient with a rare disease. This patient was the young woman who had given him the glass of milk many years back. Kelly, who recognized this woman, gave special attention to her case, and she was fully healed. The young woman who was fully healed worried that her bill would be very expensive. However, the bill that she received had this written on it: “Paid in full with one glass of milk.”

Howard Kelly is a co-founder of John Hopkins Hospital, one of the most famous hospitals in the world. This miracle story made from one act of kindness was spread all over the world and touched many hearts.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

Discussion 1. Let’s discuss stories or cases of kindness around us.

2. What was your experience of giving a hand to help others?

What kind of effect did it have on you?

The benefits and cases of consideration

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3. The Application and practice of care

Good people are generous without being wasteful Confucius (Chinese philosopher, BC 551-479)

The Restoration and practice of care We need to restore the value of consideration in order to achieve a world of peace in the face of increasing social problems caused by materialism and egoism. Before expecting other people to be considerate, I should put this into practice first, and then encourage the entire community to learn and practice consideration.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

1. Think first of the situation and position of others.

Consideration includes tolerance, understanding, and seeing another perspective. It’s self-centered to expect others to understand your situation while seeing others’ difficulty as something to overcome. Care begins with an effort to stand in the position of others rather than my own. Expand the range of consciousness that was limited only to me to others. Place yourself in another person’s mind with thoughts such as “ What about the other person’s condition?”, “What if I am in that situation?” and “what is difficult?” Like this, thinking of the other person’s perspective helps one to respect the other person’s heart and this leads to consideration.

What if I am in that situation?

What about the other person's condition?

what is difficult?

Of course, thinking of another person’s perspective is not as easy as it sounds. I cannot help but see from my point of view and the circumstances and background of my situation. Moreover, it is difficult to see from the standpoint of a person I have not lived as. The ability to care for others depends on the ability to interpret the purpose and motivation rather than emotion. Therefore, it is necessary to understand another person’s perspective and try to listen to his or her story and sympathize.

The Application and practice of care

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2. Listen and sympathize

Empathy before education.

Marshall Rosenberg (American psychologist, 1934-2015)

Neuroscience and psychology say that empathy can be a social glue that binds people together and creates a strong commitment to each other.

In addition, societies tend to be more emotionally aware rather than just logical, thus are able to understand and sympathize with each other.

Empathy helps us understand and care for people around us. We can’t imagine cooperating with each other without empathy. Teamwork and trust are also built on empathy. Then how can you develop your ability to empathize and practice your consideration? When we focus on what the other side wants to do rather than listening to criticize or analyze, we can get into a world of deep sympathy. At this time, we can listen to the voice inside our hearts. For us to listen attentively to others, let us practice the next two points to focus our minds.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

First, observe the actual situation as it unfolds. Whether it is beneficial to me or not, observe the words and actions of the other person as it is. The way to do this is to say clearly and concretely what you have observed, without making judgments or evaluations, apart from whether you like or dislike their actions.

Second, say how you feel when you see their actions. Express the feeling whether you’re heartbroken, scared, happy, joyful or irritated, etc. Also, you will be able to understand the other’s emotions and thoughts. You can broaden your understanding of what the other person ‘s desires, positions, and situations are in the process of confirming that he or she has listened carefully.

This approach deepens listening, respect, and empathy. Through repeated exercises, we can practice how to be more sincere and considerate in relationships.

In general, people are more likely to engage in intricate conflicts with intimate people and neglect care for those they are closer to. Therefore, if you really want to cultivate the ability of care and to live it out, it is recommended to constantly listen and practice at home, school, and work.

Never neglect places that are close and dear to you. That is the training ground for you to grow your ability to care.

The Application and practice of care

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3. Focus is on one person, not on many people.

When you are considerate to others, you should always base it on your one on one relationship with that person. Ethics defines care as a more in-depth and specific emotion than philanthropy or compassion. In other words, it is more appropriate to engage with a specific person and situation.

So Nadins say that forming the relationship between ‘you and I’ should be the basic premise for consideration, and when the person-to-person meeting as the human-to-human is premised, the consideration gains the great power.

In other words, even when dealing with people or certain groups, we must consider each individual and how they will be influenced. It is no different when we apply the method of care. When negotiating with a group, it is necessary to keep in mind the sensitivity and psychological acceptability of each person. The other party desires to be treated as a whole personality. The care for the person in front of you should not be forgotten.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

1. How did you feel when you were judged by others, and why did you feel that way? How did you feel when you were understood and sympathized with by others and why did you feel like that?

Discussion

2. Let’s discuss how consideration and peace are related.

Application 1. Let’s pick a friend and practice these three things of【Exploration 3】. Let’s put together what we learned and what we felt during the process of changing our relationship with him.

The Application and practice of care

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Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others Conclusion

Consideration is being thoughtful to others. The act of thoughtfulness comes from the bottom of your heart. Everyone is loved by their parents or others when they are born. And the love a person receives has a great influence on building their character. The more love one receives the more they can love themselves. We mature further by conveying the love we receive to others and practicing care to seek the benefit of the other.

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

The attitude of thinking for my benefit alone in society leads to an egotistical world. Therefore, let us fulfill the conditions and qualifications to be a citizen of peace by practicing and studying the consideration of others rather than me.

Everyone dreams of a world of peace. Such dreams are not made through someone on the outside. In other words, the peaceful life that we will create is a way of sharing love with people around us, resolving conflicts with open minds, and building a social structure that allows more people to live happily. This kind of world is the common dream of mankind. Our goal of achieving these dreams will be realized through the practice of care, as the saying “Dreaming alone is ideal, but dreams that everyone shares together become reality someday.”

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Data source Ship Image Source https://imgur.com/r/im14andthisisdeep/R6DzJBp Howard A. Kelly https://a8401199.tistory.com/280 Consideration practice http://s-space.snu.ac.kr/bitstream/10371/89006/1/05-4-11%2Noddi ngs%EC%9D%98_%EB%B0%B0%EB%A0%A4%EB%A5%BC_%EC%9C%84%ED%95%9C_% ED%95%99%EA%B5%90%EA%B5%90%EC%9C%A1%EB%A1%A0.pdf

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Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

Lesson 6 Being Considerate of the Benefit of Others

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5th floor 20, Nambusunhwan-ro 347-gil, Seocho-gu, Seoul, South-Korea Tel.02-514-1963 Fax.02-514-1961 http://www.hwpl.kr hwpl@hwpl.kr The first edition on 18 September 2019 Published by Heavenly Culture, World Peace, Restoration of Light ISBN 979-11-969337-3-9 ISBN 979-11-969284-7-6 (Set) Copyright Ⓒ 2019 Heavenly Culture, World Peace, Restoration of Light All rights reserved. You must get consent from a copyright owner to use all or parts of the contents of this book.

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ISBN 979-11-969337-3-9 44060 ISBN 979-11-969284-7-6 ( S e t )