Leaving A Legacy 2013 by I-75 Newspaper Group

Live Love Laugh Leave A Legacy June 15, 2013

A SPECIAL PUBLICATION OF THE I75 NEWSPAPER GROUP OF CIVITAS MEDIA TROY DAILY NEWS • SIDNEY DAILY NEWS • PIQUA DAILY CALL

LEAVING A LEGACY

June 2013

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Leaving a Legacy: Tax-free Income for Your Heirs Have you considered the benefits of converting your traditional Individual Retirement Account (IRA) to a Roth IRA? With a Roth IRA, you can pass along your money – tax free – to your heirs and potentially allow them to enjoy more tax-free growth after inheritance. There are tax considerations and other factors that determine whether converting to a Roth IRA is right for you. Edward Jones, its employees and financial advisors cannot provide tax or legal advice. Please consult your attorney or qualified tax advisor regarding your situation.

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Decisions, choices for end of life BY SHARON SEMANIE For Civitas Media

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On a recent afternoon, two girlfriends were briefly reunited over a cup of coffee and the conversation turned to their parents’ health. Susan, a woman in her 30s, indicated her mother ws diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and given only weeks to live. The mother, said Susan, pleaded with her daughter not to be left alive by artificial means. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Jill, also a 30-something, confided that she was unable to discuss any end of life health issues with her mom without appearing “like a vulture waiting for her life to end.” While the scenarios of these BFFs are contradictory in nature, both friends grapSharon Semanie/For Civitas Media pled with what decisions need to be made Heartland administrator Kelly Meckstroth comforts a patient at Heartland of Piqua. about care and the end of one’s life. This is not uncommon among families faced with decisions which include what type of care they opt to receive, where to receive care and who’s best able to make decisions about your care if you are not able to do so yourself. “Sadly, so many (individuals) don’t make these decisions soon enough,” lamented We do not employ funeral homes, cemeteries or sales people. Kelly Meckstroth, NHA, administrator Therefore, we can pass on to our customers the 20 to 35 percent commission. and patient advocate at Heartland of • OVER 1000 IN STOCK • Piqua. “Many are in denial and don’t even Absolutely no Door to Door or Phone Solicitation want t think about it.” Meckstroth, an administrator the past 5 miles south of Greenville on St. Rt. 49 12 years, advises everyone to begin “to (next to Abbottsville Cemetery) think about it now as you are entering M-F, 9-4; Sat, 9-12; middle age, have a living will and

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advanced directives ready.” All one has to do is read newspaper obituaries, she added, and see that “life can change in the fraction of a second”. She understands how children of older parents can feel uncomfortable with broaching the subject of end of life decisions. “The parents might say ‘What are you saying? Do you want me to die?” Instead, advises Meckstroth, the younger family member might respond with “I want to make sure that I respect your wishes when the time comes” and question, for example, if the parent wants Hospice care when the end of life approaches. “Sometimes there might be a difference of opinion,” she added. “This is an opportunity for us to educate him/her and what life he/she could expect if kept alive by extraordinary means. The end of life concerns are scary,” added the knowledgeable young administrator. “Nobody should have the burden of making decisions for us.” While it might be difficult to talk with loved ones about death, Meckstroth advocates for patients to make their wishes known whether it means a “do not resuscitate” order or appointing someone to execute your wishes via living will. “Just talking about it doesn’t cut it,” she added. “It needs to be in writing.” It’s vital, she added, that a spouse and/or family member be appointed power of attorney to help execute financial and health care decisions when the patient can no longer make those decisions for her/himself.” See Life/Page 4

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No timeline on grief BY SHARON SEMANIE For Civitas Media s it possible to mend a broken heart upon the death of a loved one? Kelly Larger, follow through services coordinator at Jamieson & Yannucci Funeral Home, emphatically agrees that while “you’ll always love that person with all your heart” the healing process can be accelerated with the help of valuable resources. “There’s no timeline on grief,” suggested Larger, who has served as friend and mentor to myriad families faced with the death of a spouse, relative or friend. “We all deal with (grief) so differently. However, there are ways you can handle it to make it go more smoothly” whether it’s becoming involved with a support group, church, health club or volunteer organization.” When a loved one passes, Larger, a fiveyear service coordinator, arrange a home visit to ascertain the family’s well being and answer questions that might pertain to anything from death certificates to security issues. “I basically am interested in how they are doing, inform them of the adjustment process and identify tools they might need-healthy meals, for example- especially

if they are living alone.” An individual whom describes herself as a “people person with lots of compassion in my heart,” Larger says she especially enjoys hearing love stories from widows and/or widowers during home visits. “For me, that’s the best part,” she added. She’s quick to point out that each visitation is different because everyone’s means of dealing with grief is unique. “You learn to adapt to each situation,” observed Larger, who credits her training to Naomi Robinson, former Jamieson & Yannucci services coordinator. The grieving process, she noted, can take as long as 1 ½ years and she is especially sensitive to contacting individuals as dates such as birthdays and anniversaries approach. “Most widows and widowers welcome the home visits,” she noted. “Of course, there are those who have lost a parent and prefer to go with the process alone and return to work. This is not really a healthy approach because there’s a (grief)process to go through and time is needed to heal.” And, finally, those individuals who appear at the time of an initial visit to be “getting along well” are always encouraged to contact Larger within several months if they need

to share a concern. A packet of information is available to families in search of resources and Miami County Hospice, according to Larger, offers many on-going workshops. At Jamieson & Yannucci, Larger provides both spring and fall support group sessions which meet for two hours on Mondays for five consecutive weeks. At that time, bereaved spouses and/or family members are educated on symptoms of grief and reassured that “what they experience is normal”. Attendees learn that “grief is a process that takes a lot of time, energy and determination. You won’t get over your grief in a hurry,” It’s a wonderful opportunity, she adds, for individuals to “share and interact” with one another whether it involves sharing photographs, memorabilia or even recipes. In addition to the support group, Larger also provides access to an on-site library at Jamieson & Yannucci for family members to borrow inspirational books for spouses, chil-

dren and even when someone loses a pet. There are plentiful resources available on-line at jamiesonandyannucci.com or by directly contacting Larger at kelly@jamiesonandyannucci.com When asked what advice she passes along to bereaved spouses and/or family members after a loved one’s death, she responded “I tell them it’s okay to look out for themselves. It’s also okay to say ‘no’ if you don’t initially want to accept invitations to go places or out to eat. It’s also okay to have a pity party for yourself but it can’t last. If family and/or friends want to do things for you, let them do it. Forget about being independent.” As part of the “Understanding Grief” workshop, Larger advises loved ones to “admit that you have the right to grieve over your situation, and allow yourself to cry about it.” Other clues to overcoming grief include finding friends with the same problem to share feelings; learning that you can enjoy being by yourself for various time periods; and broadening your circle of friends and becoming involved in organizations and activities.” And lastly, she adds, “Learn how to make happiness happen in your life and laugh whenever possible.”

Life Continued from page 3 have the backbone to say what I (patient) want,” she noted, adding that two individuals -usually a primary and alternate - are chosen to have power of attorney. When multiple children are involved, she observed, “it (decisions) can tear families apart”. Meckstroth advises individuals to have a power of attorney document drawn up by a family attorney or via social worker or case worker at a hospital and have it notarized.. Meckstroth added that a social worker is also available to initiate the process at Heartland by calling (937) 773-9346. In addition to a power of attorney, Meckstroth, who administers a 100-bed facility, also recommends that families utilize the services of Hospice care which offers additional support at the end of life

anywhere from six months to two years. “The biggest (end of life) decision you want to make is how you want to live the rest of your life…by heroic measures or to be left alone,” she concluded. “The majority (of patients) prefer to be left alone as long as they are pain free.” She further suggested that there are “wonderful pastors within the community” who serve as a valuable resource to those who are faced with the end of life. “In addition, there exists valuable support groups for both children and adults”. Generations of Life in Troy is an organization cited by Meckstroth as a helpful resource. To discuss more options when discussing end of life decisions, interested individuals can set up an appointment with her by emailing her at 4147admin@hcr-manorcare.com

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More choosing cremation today BY KYLE HAYDEN eath is a fact of life. So when one nears the end of the road, a decision must be made: cremation, or traditional embalming and viewing? In Shelby and Miami counties, the funeral industry is seeing a shift in the attitudes among families in regard to cremation and burial. “I find people are becoming more educated in the way of cremation being just another part of preparation of their loved ones,” said Michael Yannucci, cremationist and funeral director at Jamieson and Yannucci Funeral Home in Piqua. “The expense associated with a funeral or memorial service remains the same; people need to know it’s just another method.” Yannucci also said he sees the families of loved ones still connecting with a real body in a casket as opposed to an urn with the ashes of a departed loved one. “I would say the vast majority of clients we see still choose traditional body preparation, embalming,” said Yannucci. “It’s still around 70 percent, but there has been an increase (in cremation) in the last five years.” Several funeral homes around the Miami Valley service customers by utilizing their own cremation facilities, including Jamieson and Yannucci and Cromes Funeral Home in Sidney. Aaron Edwards, funeral director, creamationist and embalmer at Cromes, agrees with Yannucci’s observations. Edwards said more people are choosing cremation over the traditional method which includes casket viewing, embalming and burial. He attributed this to relaxing social and religious values in the United States. As Edward sees it, the social landscape of the United States has shifted more towards the left in recent years, opening up decision-making processes

for families and making them feel more comfortable with the idea of cremation. He said there is no cost difference associated between the two methods. There are several options a family can take when a loved one passes. First is a full funeral rites service, in which the departed is prepared for a viewing and is then cremated after the memorial service. The second is to just be cremated and to have a memorial service with an urn containing the ashes. The third is to just be cremated with no service and with just an urn LUKE GRONNEBERG/SDN PHOTO burial. Each option has associatedCromes Funeral Home Funeral Director and Embalmer Aaron Edwards, of Sidney, costs, descending respectively. Cromeslooks at his crematory. is the only funeral home in Sidney with its own crematorium. “I know Adams in Sidney and Salm-Mcgill and Tangeman use Yannucci’s facilities,” said Edwards, speaking two other funeral homes in Sidney. The process for cremation, Edwards said, is much simpler and more versatile than traditional preparation. Because ashes do not have regulations as to when they can be buried, they can be kept or scattered or buried at a later date. For example, Edwards noted “we had a woman once who passed in December but her family didn’t want LICENSED DIRECTORS: to bury her ashes until her following Ralph Cromes, Erik Edwards, Bill stamm birthday, because they could do that # Aaron Edwards, Gary Cromes for voting us through cremation.” the third As the interview with Edwards came to a close, it began to rain outconsecutive year! side. A service was to take place in 15 minutes. A patron walked through Shelby County's Only Edwards’ office to get out of the rain. On Sight Crematory Edwards reached over to open the door for the man, who commented on the outside weather. Edwards responded, “There’s probably a rainbow somewhere.”

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Kyle Hayden is an intern with the Sidney Daily News.

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Choosing to donate body to science BY STEPHANI DUFF For Civitas Media ince 1975, the Wright State University’s Boonshoft School of Medicine Anatomical Gift Program has had thousands of donors. As a result of these donations, countless medical students, nursing students, physicians and medical researchers have had the opportunity to become more educated about the structure and function of the human body. Dan Miska, director of the Anatomical Gift Program at Wright State’s Boonshoft School of Medicine, answered some frequently asked questions in regards to this process. “People often want to know if they may donate their organs as well as their body and, with two exceptions, organ donation generally rules out whole body donation. The two exceptions, however, are that whole eyes or corneas may be donated prior to a whole body donation; the second exception pertains to brain donations. Particular brain disorders/diseases are of interest to research scientists, and if prior arrangements are made, the donor’s brain will be recovered and sent to a certified research institution.” People who choose to donate their body to science do not receive any monetary funds for their participation in the program. Once a person signs up for the Anatomical Gift Program, they may withdraw only if a signed and notarized letter is sent notifying them of the change.

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Once the body is received by Wright State, donors may remain for as little as a few weeks to as long as three years. Miska explained that, typically, the donors are at the University for about two years. In the instance of there being something of special educational interest or research value involving the donor, the body may be retained for a longer period of time. The remains of the donors given to the Boonshoft School of Medicine will stay on the campus or will be studied in one of the local hospitals. Additionally, some donors are loaned to other institutions on a temporary basis because many medical schools don’t have their own donor programs. During anatomical study, if any findings occur, they are not reported to the surviving family members; following anatomical study, each donor is cremated individually by Woodland Cemetery and Arboretum in Dayton. Once the ashes are returned to the Anatomical Gift Program, the person designated by the donor beforehand, will be contacted. If the donor wishes, the cremated remains may be divided among several survivors. As a memorial process, a memorial program is held for family members and friends and memorial bricks are available for purchase to be placed in the walkway in Rockfield Cemetery. For more information, answers to frequently asked questions, and contact information, visit med.wright.edu/agp.

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Cromes Funeral Home Funeral Director and Embalmer Aaron Edwards, of Sidney, looks at the assortment of urns at his funeral home.

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BY AVERIE R. BORNHORST long with the rest of society, the funeral industry has adapted in order to embrace social media and other technology. “Since we are a very mobile society, with family members throughout the country and world, connecting via social media is very important,” explains Alex Moore, funeral director at Jamieson & Yannucci Funeral Home in Piqua. The Internet played a key role in the technological revolution of local funeral homes. Both Cromes Funeral Home in Sidney and Jamieson & Yannucci actively maintain websites, which serve a variety of purposes. One purpose is to provide the public with online obituaries. These obituaries are accompanied with an electronic guestbook which allows people to send messages to the family of the deceased. Additionally, Cromes provides visitors with the opportunity to order sympathy flowers or chocolates directly off of their website. The websites of both funeral homes provide access to other forms of social media. There are links provided that allow an online obituary to be shared through multiple other services, such as Facebook and Twitter. Another way in which Cromes and Jamieson & Yannucci utilize technology is through the optional service of video memorial DVDs. This DVD, which is a series of photographs of the deceased, can be played at the funeral home during the viewing. Moore said that these

tribute videos may soon be made available on Jamieson and Yannucci’s website as well. Cromes also offers a webcam service. This allows family members to be present for the funeral service and viewing through a live video feed in the event that they are not able to attend. These technological advancements have reportedly been well-received by the public. Aaron Edwards, funeral director of Cromes, said this is partly due to the fact that these services are not pushed on anybody, but simply offered to them. Although social media and technology has become an asset to funeral homes, they are not being relied on too heavily. “We are still, and always will be, a person-to-person business,” said Moore. Edwards said Cromes Funeral Home is not looking to implement any new technological features in the near future. “We’ve come a long way in the last five or six years and we’re pretty much completely up to speed. We’re not going crazy,” he observed. Due to the positive response of the public, neither Jamieson & Yannucci or Cromes are planning to shy away from the use of social media and technology any time soon. As Moore said, “We see the future of our funeral home and funeral service in general growing with social media.” Averie Bornhorst is an intern with the Sidney Daily News.

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Leaving an estate to charity hen movie producer David Gundlach passed away suddenly from a heart attack in October 2011, few people knew he intended to leave his massive personal fortune to a local charity in his hometown of Elkhart, Indiana. Gundlach gave away all of his $125 million to the Elkhart County Community Foundation. One doesn't have to be a famous movie producer or sports star to donate assets to charity in wills. Individuals sometimes make the choice to leave a portion of their estate to a favorite charity to create a legacy that helps the unfortunate. Such a decision may surprise family members, so it may be wise to discuss plans when drafting wills and ensuring that the correct method of bequeathing estates to charities is followed. When a will is written, it is typically in a person's best interest to consult with an

estate-planning attorney prior to making any decisions. When working in conjunction with a financial planner, an attorney can help you grow your estate and ensure your assets will be distributed according to your wishes. When writing a will that includes charitable donations, be very precise in the verbiage and specify your wishes and intents so they are carried out correctly. Just like feisty family members, charities can be quite aggressive in their pursuits of funding, particularly if they have reason to believe that money will be coming their way as part of a person's will. In order to prevent unnecessary battling among attorneys, it is best to have all of your wishes clearly explained and spelled out so the people and organizations who matter the most to you receive the money -- and that you're not simply funding legal bills. Leaving money to a charity can have financial advantages for the other benefac-

tors of your will. A bequest to a charity reduces the size of your estate, meaning less money is subject to estate taxes. While you cannot benefit from an income-tax deduction while you are alive, you will cut down on taxes afterward, which would normally take away money that was left to family and friends. Despite the advantage to bequeathing money to a charity, it is not something that is very common. According to Russell N. James III, a professor at Texas Tech University who conducted a study that analyzed 20,000

Americans over the age of 50 from 1995 to 2006, only around 9.5 percent of those who donated more than $500 a year to charity planned on making a charitable bequest after their deaths. Those who want to save money in a taxefficient way upon making a charitable donation can choose to donate an IRA account to charity. This will save your heirs money in income taxes that they otherwise would have to pay when the IRA is distributed.There are some gray areas in doing this properly, so it is best to consult with a tax advisor.

Legacy means Planting trees under whose shade you may never sit.

A bequest could be the most important charitable gift you ever make. You can craft your personal legacy through a simple bequest to Wilson Memorial Hospital in your will. It is easy to do and creates a gift that lives forever. For more information and our free gift planning brochure, contact Bonnie Faulkner, Executive Director.

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Donating an estate to charity means leaving a legacy after death.

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How to write your own last will and testament

ew people, young or old, look forward to writing a will. A will is not an easy subject to broach, but it is important to have documents in place to ease the burden for family members. When a person dies without a will, his or her assets might not go where he or she intended. In some instances, assets might go to the government. For parents who die before their children are grown, a will can also serve as a legal document indicating a plan for custody of the kids. Although it is often preferable to consult with a local estate-planning attorney who understands the language and legalities surrounding a will, it is also possible to write a will yourself. There are forms that can be purchased from office-supply stores, or a will can be prepared online by answering questions and

then generating a form to print. The will also can be typed or handwritten. Handwritten wills are called holographic wills and may not be recognized unless written during an emergency situation, such as a fatal illness. Laws regarding wills vary based on where you live. Therefore, learn the legalities before preparing a will so you will have a document that holds up in a court of law and can be executed to your desires. Here is some of the basic information that may be included in your will. • Include your name, address, date of birth, and social security numbers if they will better help identify you should there be confusion. • State that you are of sound mind when writing this will and of contractual capacity. • Write a statement indicating that this will revokes all other wills that may have been executed before. • List the names and addresses of all of your children. If the children are minors, at this point you can also specify your wishes with regards to their guardianship. List the names and addresses of the people whom you wish to have custody of your children. • Appoint an executor or executrix to carry out the affairs of your estate and instructions specified in the will. This person typically must be over the age of 18. Select someone whom you trust to honor your wishes. • Indicate how you want the executor to handle your financial affairs, including paying taxes, funeral costs, final expenses, etc. At this point you also may want to spell out where you would like to be buried and any specific requests with regard to the funeral, viewing, and any

other funeral-related details. • Indicate the executor has permission to sell your home and personal belongings that are not included in personal gifts to be distributed. • List any gifts you would like to be distributed to certain people. This may be a doll collection to a daughter, coins to a son, china to an aunt, etc. • Specify the percentages of your assets to be distributed should the listed beneficiaries survive you. Maybe you want to divide your estate evenly between two children. If so, allocate 50 percent to one and 50 percent to the other. You may have more specific breakdowns. Should these people not survive you, you can establish an alternate or list nothing, in which case the assets will be put back into the general pot. • Include a residuary clause that states how to distribute any remaining assets.

• State whether you want the executor to be reimbursed for any expenses that result from executing the will. • Indicate that you would like the executor to post bond as a form of insurance so that the executor can't run off with the money for himself. • Name an alternative executor should the first pass away before executing the will or if he or she is unable to serve upon your death. • Sign the will in front of two or three witnesses (check what is required where you live) and a notary public. The witnesses cannot be anyone named in the will. This article is intended as general information about what is typically covered in a standard will. It should not be taken as legal advice. Prior to implementing any of these tips, consult with an attorney certified in estate planning.

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The loss of a beloved pet painful ANTHONY WEBER/ STAFF PHOTO

Craig Wise, vice president of Baird Funeral Home, holds a pet cremation urn, which can hold a plastic name plate.

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BY MELODY VALLIEU Staff Writer vallieu@tdnpublishing.com he death of a loved one is one of the hardest times in a person’s life. The death of a beloved pet can be just as painful. In order to remember their pets — while keeping them close — many people now turn to cremation services for their beloved animals. Craig Wise, vice president of Baird Funeral Home, Troy, said the business came together with Paws & Remember, a pet crematory in Miamisburg, about five years ago, following the death of his family’s Golden Retriever. Wise said when he was a child, memorializing pets was much different than today. “When I was a kid, you buried (the pet) in the back yard,” said Wise, who has been in the funeral business for 23 years. “But now, we are so transit, you don’t want to do that because you are not there that long.” He said with the service they previously used for pets, he was looking at two weeks before he would have the ashes returned, which was unsettling for him. In conjunction with Paws & Remember, Wise said either a Baird Funeral Home staff member will bring the animal to Miamisburg or a Paws & Remember staff member will come and pick the animal up, usually the same day. Wise said people generally have their animal’s ashes returned in just a few days, which he believes helps continue the grieving process. Wise said for those looking for cremation services for their pet, a Baird staff member will personally come to the home or veterinary office — within a 25mile radius of the Troy business — following the pet’s death and bring the animal back to the funeral home. “The families seem to feel better when they know that they are in our care,” said Wise, who said they generally care for two to three pets a week.

He said the business has really taken off in the last two years, through word of mouth, the Internet and even the phone book, with a lot of younger customers using the services. “Our main thing is to offer assistance. It seems that it is the younger ones that we are touching,” he said. “A lot of them have not to had to deal with loss, of like a parent, or someone close to them. So this is new to them.” Wise said while their services have been for dogs and cats, others animals such as rabbits, birds, snakes, turtles and even guinea pigs, can be cared for by the funeral home after their death. He said they also have cared for a ferret or two in past years. Wise recalls a story that touched him, when a little girl had saved her allowance, knowing her aging rabbit would pass, and paid for the cremation services herself. For those who need help dealing with the grief following the loss of their beloved pet, the Hospice of Miami County’s Generations of Life Bereavement Center, 550 Summit Ave., Troy, has a variety of books on the subject in their library, which is open to the public. Staff also will counsel those in need of achieving closure. “Our bereavement staff have met oneon-one with people who have experienced the death of a pet. And, there is no cost for these services,” according to Anna Marie Stover, bereavement assistant. The center can be reached at (937) 573-2100. The decision For Angie Oliver, owner of Blades and Company of Troy, burying her beloved pets in the backyard was never an option. And, she said cremation was her immediate choice. Oliver’s dogs, Sammy, a black lab, and Chloe, a chocolate lab, had spent the See Pet/Page 11

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June 2013

Pet Continued from page 10 better part of their 13 years together. So, with both suffering severe health issues, Oliver made the heart-wrenching decision to have them euthanized, or put down, together. “I knew I couldn’t do it twice,” she said. “I couldn’t do it any other way.” Without the ability to do it on her own, friends picked the dogs up and took them to the veterinarian’s office. Baird Funeral Home then picked up the dogs’ remains. When she ashes were available a few days later, she found herself unable to pick the ashes up, so funeral home staff brought them to her. “It was just obvious to me. “(Cremation) was a no-brainer,” she said. While the ashes are still in the urns, complete with their names, from four years ago, Oliver said she has decided this year will be the year she returns the dogs to a place they loved as much as home — Lake Loramie. She said the dogs enjoyed fishing and boating with her exhusband and the family at the lake, where they also swam and frolicked in the open space together. “They just became such a part of our lives, with my kids,” she said. “They lived a good life. I don’t have any remorse about the cremation.” Wise also said he had a dog that loved to swim, and the dog’s urn now looks out over the water at the family’s vacation home in Michigan. “I think cremation helps a lot because people are used to having their pet there,” Wise said. “It’s great memories to have them there with you. Or, you can bring them to special place that means something to you and the pet.” The services Wise said he first had a cat cremated in 1988, and paid more for the services than a person would now. “Prices are actually going down with more people using the services,” he said. Wise said there is a minimum charge of $125 for cremation services, where the pet is returned in a standard wooden urn. He said most people tend to purchase the more basic services. “They want their pet back in the urn and the certificate of cremation,” he said of the majority of their clientele.

However, “The Legacy Series,” package for a larger dog, which includes an upgraded urn, engraved photo album and a paw print frame, can cost as much as $475. Besides the urns, scrapbooks and frames, Wise said there also are many other option, such as sterling silver locket necklaces and other jewelry that hold the pet’s ashes. Urns can range from simple wooden boxes, with or without engraving, to the more extravagant one-of-a-kind, handblown glass collection. Stepping stone and garden rock urns for the outdoors also are options. The following sites offer a look into items available to help families remember their beloved pets. • Paws & Remember offers a variety of memorial items, including urns, scrapbooks, frames and jewelry items to remembers pets. Visit pawsandremember.com for more information. • Buddies Beloved Pet Keepsakes offers one-of-a-kind keepsakes, fashioned in precious metals from the paw print or nose print of a pet.Visit www.meadowhillco.com or call (877) 848-6243 for more information. • Nevations, a business owned by Tipp City resident Debora Pruitt, offers cremains incorporated into fused glass items such as necklace charms, keychains and more. More information can be found at Nevations.com.

Helping your child cope with the death of a pet The loss of a family pet can be a child’s first experience with death. Helping children cope with grief will help them understand a very painful aspect of life and begin the healing process. • Talk about the pet’s health and any decisions to be made prior to the animal’s death, if possible. • Respond to your children honestly and age appropriately. While young children will not understand the concept of death, they will feel a tremendous loss. Older children may want to discuss the decline of the pet’s health, plans for the See Cope/Page 12

ANTHONY WEBER/STAFF PHOTO

A selection of pet urns are available at Baird Funeral Home, Troy.

One of the most affordable funeral homes in the Miami Valley area.

FISHER - CHENEY Funeral Home & Cremation Services S. Howard Cheney, Owner-Director

• Pre-arranged funeral plans available 1124 W. Main St • Call 335-6161 • Troy, Ohio www.fisher-cheneyfuneralhome.com 40155377

LEAVING A LEGACY

June 2013

I•75 NEWSPAPER GROUP

Cope

Elegies and eulogies

Continued from page 11

n elegy is a poem mourning the loss of someone. It comes from the Greek word “elegos,” meaning a mournful song, and is perhaps most associated with the feeling that someone is gone forever, never to be seen again. Nothing can describe the depth of mourning for someone who was loved deeply and is now no longer here. Perhaps the best modern example of an elegiac poem is W. H. Auden's “Stop All the Clocks,” whose last stanza is as follows:

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good. A eulogy, on the other hand, is a speech praising the goodness of the deceased, and comes from the Greek words “eu,” meaning good, and “logos” meaning word or speech. We are driven to eulogize elegiacally when we lose a loved one, feeling a special need to recall their good traits and painfully mourning their loss. Keep in mind that there is always hope that we shall see them again, on the other side of death.

body and the concept of death itself. • Try to explain the concept of “dog years” or whatever is applicable to the species of your family pet. But make it clear that mom and dad live in “people years” and are not going anywhere. • Ask your veterinarian to answer any medical questions for your children. Older children may have questions about euthanasia. how it is done, what the pet will feel, what equipment is used and what happens to the animal’s body. • Say goodbye to the pet in a ceremony to make it official. • Memorialize your pet in a way that is unique to your family. Plant a tree in the garden, write down thoughts about fun times spent with the pet, draw pictures or hang a photo of the pet in your home for all to share. • Show your own grief. Children will grow to understand their own feelings better if they see that their sadness is shared by other family members. • Share the loss with your children’s teachers and counselors to explain changes in behavior. Books are available as well. — Source: Baird Funeral Home and Paws and Remember

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