I-Female Magazine | October 2012 by I-Female Magazine

Pg.9 Rubies & Pearls Pg. 16 Stop Letting These 4 Excuses Control Your Life Pg. 20 I-Female Magazine $6.50

Women Share Their Breast Cancer Experience

Pg. 22 Domestic Violence Awareness

October 2012 | www.i-female.net | I-Female Publishing

Publisher Stenell Greene-Myers Editor Vanessa Curtis Design Trudean Wright Le Petite Capella Photographer Brittany Beeunas Contributors Tony Myers Tina Louise If you want I-Female magazine at your location email us at magazine@i-female.net If you want to get involved, if you have a story or something you want to share contact us. magazine@ifemale.net Find us online www.i-female.net Join our mailing list for month newsletter for give away and upcoming events

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I-Female is a tribute to female empowerment; it allows you to look at yourselves as strong individuals and not just victims or survivors. Cover Photo: Rubies & Pearls Non-Profit Organization Back Cover: “Say That You Love Me” By Keith McCrea Photographer by: Brittany Beeunas WRITE US I-Female Magazine welcomes letters from its readers. To contact Editorial: Send us a fax (215-613-5000), email (magazine@i-female.net) or mail (Letters to I-Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Vineland, New Jersey 08362). Letters should include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

CONTENTS Pg 10 “She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.”

Pg 13 Potential meter versus reality What has your man done to accomplish his own self goals?) Stop rating your man on his potential

Pg 15 Did you know that if your body does not selfregulate itself, this is when disease begins to occur?

Pg 18 Financial Advice For Women: Your Needs Are Are YOU Register to Vote?

Different

Pg 6 Media Contact: Jennifer Brown Email: Jennifer@theaugustcompanyllc.com Phone: 954-461-5683 “Save the Twinz”: Live PINK!™ Benefit Concert

Pg 21-22 October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month Also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, and intimate partner violence (IPV), is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, or cohabitation.

Letter from the Publisher…. Welcome to October issue of I-Female Magazine! I-Female Magazine is here to encourage, motivate, and inspire women of all ages, race, creed or religion. Our mission is to continue to reach women all over the world and inform them about everyday issues women experience such as religion, health, relationships, sexual education, inspirational stories, and entertainment. There are women around the world that struggles in many areas of their life such as finances, poor relationships, family issues, and substance abuse to name a few. We are an advocate for teens in areas of teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and making healthy choices. We have been working very hard getting information out to our subscribers. We are so excited to see the growth as we continue to expand. We have reached over 31,858 viewers online. I-Female sends a warm thank you to all of our supporters. It is a pleasure to have information available to the women not only in our community but around the world. Breast Cancer is the second leading cause of death among women and is more aggressive in women under age 50. This month is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, every October breast cancer charities increase the awareness of the disease and raise funds for treatment prevention and cures. Next Weekend Productions has joined forces with the National Association of Black Female Executives in Music & Entertainment (NABFEME) to present the “Save the Twinz”: Live PINK!™ - Women Who Jam! Save the Twinz”: Live PINK! hosts fundraising events designed to heighten awareness of breast cancer, support research for a cure, and stress the importance of mammogram screenings and early detection in minority communities. Inside you will find more information on this organization. I am very elated about this month’s featured cover. I had an opportunity to meet wonderful, fabulous women that has a genuine love for young girls. Girls of all ages need guidance, as the saying goes “It takes a village to raise a child.” Rubies and Pearls is an amazing organization for children ages 7-18, a village coming together to make things happen in the Community of Sicklerville, New Jersey. Diane McKenzie is the President and Founder of Rubies and Pearls. By her side is Vice President Melissa Laster along with a supportive staff that consists of Professionals, Mentors, Mothers, and Grandmothers. You will read both Diane’s and Melissa story as these women and their staff are role models to not only the women in their community, but women in general. I-Female wishes everyone born in October a warm Happy Birthday. We want to thank our wonderful staff and everyone who make I-Female a reality to the world. Remember who you are and remain faithful to yourself, your life is the life you orchestrate. Be safe and blessed! Remember I-Female is me. I-Female is you. Stenell Greene-Myers Publisher whosgonnapaythemortgage@i-female.net

Are YOU Register to Vote? the Rev. Mark Tyler, exhorted the congregation to take home registration forms to give to a niece or nephew, grandchild or neighbor. "All of us know there's someone in our lives not registered to vote."

"We have the right to vote, and we want to put people in the position to lead the nation, keep us safe, and afford us all the same opportunities to live and have a good quality of life."

pews originated at a national meeting of "I tried under every name - Margaret, African American clergy affiliated with an Margaret A., Margaret Ann. I was not interfaith network, PICO (People Improvthere," she said. ing Communities through Organizing), Tyler said. McGraw volunteered to staff the information table at New Bethel African Method- Jennifer Bistro, 35, manager of a Medicare ist Episcopal Church in Germantown, HMO who registered voters at Josie D. where inside, her Mother Bethel pastor, Heard A.M.E. Church in Manayunk, said:

was registered to vote and had valid ID "a driver's license, passport, the works."

Warren Hamilton, 65, a lawyer who accompanied volunteers to Zion A.M.E. About 100 parishioners departed Church at 21st and Tasker Streets, said: from Mother Bethel after the 8 "It's about getting people engaged and to a.m. service, wearing "Let My take responsibility. At New Bethel A.M.E. Church in Germantown, Margaret "Peggy" People Vote" T-shirts. McGraw of Mother Bethel A.M.E. Church in Society Hill waits to "I'm from the old school," said the Queen talk to congregants about registering to vote. They went to churches in South Village resident, wearing a T-shirt and bow and West Philadelphia, Elkins tie. "I registered people to vote in AlaBy: Linda Loyd Park, Lansdowne, Manayunk, and Spring bama in the 1960s. There's been a lot of House, where team captains addressed change, but a lot remains the same." As the city, state, and nation await the the worshipers, and ushers handed out fate of Pennsylvania's new voter-ID law a voter-registration material. Emmy Award-winning actress Alfre little more than a month before the presiWoodard was in Philadelphia over the dential election, a historic church in Phila- Other volunteers were at tables with in- weekend "on the campaign trail for the delphia took matters into its own hands formation about the voter-ID law to an- president." She attended the service at Sunday. swer questions and help people fill out Mother Bethel Sunday and went to seven forms. events on Saturday that included voter Mother Bethel A.M.E. Church, at Sixth and registration, canvassing, and telephone Lombard Streets, canceled its 11 a.m. ser- Critics of the law argue that anything banks, she said. vice, and members fanned out to eight other than a broad injunction would discongregations, traveling as far as Lancas- enfranchise some voters in the Nov. 6 Whether the law stands or falls, by Electer, urging people to register - even rereg- election. The Corbett administration and tion Day voters must be prepared, ister - to vote. the Republican-controlled legislature that Woodard said. enacted the law in March insist steps have Their message: If you think you are regis- been taken to educate voters about the "We'll wait for the courts to do their job, tered, register again and make sure your law and provide free IDs. and hopefully a just ruling will come voter registration exactly matches the down," she said. "But, meanwhile, we name on your identification card. The The state Supreme Court directed Com- want people to do their job. If there's . . . a voter registration deadline is Oct. 9 in monwealth Court Judge Robert E. Simpson requirement, then let's meet that requirePennsylvania and Oct. 16 in New Jersey. Jr. to enjoin the law if he believes any dis- ment." enfranchisement would occur. Simpson, "Even when people tell me they are regis- who has until Tuesday to decide, said last Saying the voter-registration campaign tered, I tell them to check," said Margaret week he was contemplating a narrow in- was nonpartisan, a Mother Bethel church "Peggy" McGraw of Mount Airy, a retired junction that would focus only on the por- bulletin instructed members not to "wear Verizon employee. McGraw said she had tion that deals with provisional ballots. anything that supports a particular candivoted in every election since she was 21 - Whatever the judge decides, it is expected date or ballot issue." Rather, the purpose more than 40 years. Nonetheless, when the case will be appealed back to the state is "to protect everyone's right to vote." she recently checked her registration Supreme Court. status online, she said she could not find Geraldine Price, 73, a member of New her name. The idea of registering everyone in church Bethel A.M.E. in Germantown, said she

Price said registering voters in churches was "important because a lot of seniors come on Sunday that might not hear about it during the week." www.philly.com/philly/ news/20121001_Members_of_historic_Phila__church_make_push_to_register_voters

Media Contact: Jennifer Brown Email: Jennifer@theaugustcompanyllc.com Phone: 954-461-5683 “Save the Twinz”: Live PINK!™ Benefit Concert to Support the Fight Against Breast Cancer Fort Lauderdale - In an effort to increase awareness of Breast Cancer and stress the importance of early detection and prevention, Next Weekend Productions has joined forces with the National Association of Black Female Executives in Music & Entertainment (NABFEME) to present the “Save the Twinz”: Live PINK!™ - Women Who Jam! Benefit Concert on Saturday, October 6, 2012 at 7:30 p.m. at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. Co-hosted by Local News 10 reporter Constance Jones and radio personality Tamara Gant, the event will feature groundbreaking female artists and musicians in jazz, R&B, gospel, hip-hop, neo soul, soft rock and spoken word. “We are working to reduce the loss of life by inspiring and empowering others to continue the fight against breast cancer through music and entertainment,” said Andrea JohnBaptiste, event co-chair. “We are delighted to once again partner with NABFEME and some extraordinary local and national artists to bring attention to this important cause.”

Tickets are $30. All proceeds from the event will benefit the Lillian S. Wells Women’s Health Center at Broward General Medical Center, which offers comprehensive healthcare, some of the most advanced technology for breast MRI and digital mammograms, and is the only Hospital in Florida to be awarded the Women Certified Seal of Approval, due to the staff’s certification in and commitment to women-friendly services.

www.BrowardCenter.org. The Broward Center for the Performing Arts is located in the Riverwalk Arts & Entertainment District at 201 SW Fifth Avenue in Fort Lauderdale.

“Breast cancer affects women from all walks of life, young and old. You’re never too young to self-exam. We hope to reach young women ages 18 to 35 and encourage them to advocate for breast health in their circle of friends. The time to be proactive is before cancer strikes,” said JohnBaptiste. Save the Twinz: Live PINK!™ will present attorney Marlon Hill; Andrea Ivory, Executive Director at the Women’s Breast Health Initiative; Paulet Royes, Nurse and Case Manager with the Broward Health Navigator Program; and Mayra Amador, Social Worker with the Broward Health Navigator Program with the “Save the Twinz” Champion Award for their service of excellence in the fight against breast cancer, during the benefit concert. Since 2006, Next Weekend Productions has provided quality community events and customized event planning services for private and non-profit organizations throughout Broward County. NABFEME is a non-profit organization that promotes the entry, development and advancement of women of color in music and entertainment, and provides a wide range of opportunities for artistic exposure while creating the most favorable conditions for women to promote and market their creative energies. Tickets to Save the Twinz: Live PINK!™ - Women Who Jam! are available through the Broward Center’s Auto Nation Box Office at 954-462-0222 or online at

I-FEMALE MAGAZIN E

J.T. Barber Presents SoulSpeak Sundays is held every 3rd Sunday of the month from 5-8pm at Teaful Bliss Cafe in Philadelphia. Whether you're a poet, spoken word artist, musician, comedian, singer, or spectator, this monthly event is for you. The first hour of SoulSpeak Sundays is for business networking and socializing. So bring your product(s) and/or business cards. Come out and relax, relate, and release...and let your Soul Speak Upcoming SoulSpeak Sundays Event _________________________________ 10/21/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeal Sundays 11/18/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Thanksgiving" 12/16/2012 | J.T Barber Presents: SoulSpeak Sundays "Winter Special" Visit www.jtbarberonline.com for more information about SoulSpeak Sundays

Gospel Secrets

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Questions ?????? By: Tony Myers Sometimes we as Christians have questions about things that happen in our life such as if God sees and cares why don't he do something? Well the truth of the matter is if God don't do another thing for you and me He has already done enough. Another misconceived notion is that because we Christians sometimes pay our tithes, pray, feed the poor and sometimes give to the needy that God owes us something for our sometimes service. Well again God owes you nothing! God made the ultimate sacrifice when he gave us his son. And the real truth of it all is that if we seek after God we will find what we need in him. The truth of why we have questions is we don't look for God. Think about it, when you are at your high points in God the questions you have at your low points are not the same. In your high point you’re not asking God anything concerning lack. In your high points in God all you see is promise. It is in your low point or when we walk in flesh do we question the promise. The Bibles says if we walk in the Spirit we won't fulfill the lust of the flesh. So my brothers and sisters in Christ be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Remember might is that anointing in God that give us the ability to do all things through Jesus Christ! So the answer to our questions is to seek more of God! But seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven and his righteousness and all these other things will be added unto you.

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“She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.”

bout three years ago I was in a conversation with a group of people and a man shared that he was having a sexual relationship with both mother and daughter. It blew my mind; I had to ask myself what is becoming of this generation? I realized that this man had no respect for the mother or her daughter; how could she allow this? I began to think a couple of generation’s back this would have never happened in our culture. We were

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taught by our mothers at an early age, girlfriends don’t share boyfriends. Can you imagine the thought of abomination from our grandmothers to know this is going on? If your girlfriend was dating a boy and she broke up with him he was totally off limits. So when I heard the remark made from this person I could not believe my ears. That remark taunted me for a long time. Something had to be done. In a generation where so many young females are lost, what was I going to do to help? I was determined to do something. That is when I went to my Pastor and shared my concern. She said to “pray about it and listen, when the Lords speak to you then you will know what to do”. I was introduced to a young lady, Melissa Later, who had the same vision as mine. Melissa is a school psychologist who has over 12 years of experience working with the Camden Board of Education in Camden New Jersey. She also has experienced working with 2nd and 3rd graders as an elementary school teacher. We met and discussed what we could do to have an input what seemed to be a generational curse on our future girls. The bible says in Proverbs 13, she is invaluable; her price is far above rubies-no quality of precious stones can be equal to her worth. It hit me the fellowship for these girls shall be called “Rubies and Pearls”. All women are gems. The Ruby is a stone that attracts one immediately and is very pleasing to the eye, but the beauty of a pearl becomes much more attrac-

tive because of the duration of time. Our Mission is to work with mentors and volunteers who are inspired to reach out and have an impact on the lives of girls through the building of selfesteem, leadership skills, understanding the importance of higher education, and who will bring to the girls the understanding of the need for faith in God. Our Vision is to assist young ladies in becoming productive women in society and to help bridge the gap between mother and daughter relationships. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Diane McKenzie I am the President and founder of Rubies and Pearls. I have been employed by the State of New Jersey for over 24 years. I have been a ward of the state at the age of five; I have lived in over 12 foster care homes. I once was told that I would be just another statistic and I would wind up on welfare and my children would more than likely be wards of the state also. I graduated from Edgewood High School in Atco New Jersey. I graduated from Richard Stockton College with a Bachelor Degree in Psychology. I have been with my husband who is my soul mate for over thirty years. I have three children, a son who attended University of Southern Connecticut, A daughter who attended College of New Jersey, and the youngest daughter who attended Berkeley School of Fashion and Design of New York, not bad for a young girl who the state counted as a statistic.

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Through all obstacles I knew I was a good girl. So many girls today are fighting a battle with society, the music, the movies, and yes even teachers that are not positive role models. Teachers are showing so much cleavage that young males lose their concentration and cannot focus on their lesson. Trying to determine if it is proper or improper to have such feelings towards their teacher should not be a thought in class. So what happens then, the girls mimic that type of behavior and think that it is acceptable, until later on the same male students discover that it is improper and now he wants to refer to the female students as b------and h---. The girls ignore this because no one is telling them any difference because the role models are so far and between. Self-esteem is one of the most challenging areas of all. We must teach our girls it is alright to shine even though you look different. I will never forget the girl who was asked to join an allWhite girl swim team, the girl refused; I asked why, she replied, “I will be the only Black on the team”. It is so sad that our females, our young girls have such doubt on their lives. I am not just talking about Black girls or White girls but in every race and culture there are girls that have lost the zeal of being excited about being a female and not realizing how special they are. It is an age where girls no longer go to their mothers for guidance and this should not be. There was a time when a father knew nothing about the going on of his daughter’s body. It was kept private between mother and daughter. Some things should continue to stay between a mother and a daughter. To the mothers we know it is difficult to protect your daughters while the Facebook, and the email and anything that makes it harder for us but so easy for them to have “fun” that is what they call sexing or twitching. We cannot protect our girls from harm if they are too afraid to come to us or if they feel that they will get a beat down if they ask the question WHY? I just got sick and tired and said we are going to make a change upon our girls, hitting areas such as education, socialization, personal hygiene, etiquette, public speaking. We have a retired guidance counselor who preps the girls for their PSAT and SAT test-

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ing. Our staff is fingerprinted and each one has a background checked. The staff consists of clinical social workers, psychologist, law enforcement officers, business managers, teachers, nurses and grandmothers. Our mission and vision is to bring long-term motherhood and sisterhood back into existence. The girls had made a commitment to give back. Every girl here is dedicated in going to college, and once a year to come back for a reunion, this is not a temporary fix, but a lifetime commitment to something we believe and have faith in. Our funds are very limited, hopefully after this article is published we hope to get donations and contributions to further what we hope to accomplish. We are determined to go forth. We have raised money through yard sales, cake sales, a mother and daughter banquet, a fashion shows, and a Joe Corbi’s fund raiser. We believe in ourselves, and the vision and mission but most of all we believe in our girls. We as Daughters and Mothers have learned a lot from each other, some good and some not so good, but we need each other for support and to grow. As we grow older some of us will lose our mothers along the way, it would be good to have unconditional “girlfriends” to stand with us. I am surprised how so many girls said they have no girlfriends because they cannot be trusted. With all that is mentioned above we must learn to love ourselves, not to settle for “junk”. We have the right to be respected, to be valued, not to be shamed or broken. We have the right to education, and no matter where we come from if we are willing to work to achieve whatever the goal is, we have the right to break through that glass ceiling. We know through God all things are possible who strengthen us.

Contact information for Rubies and Pearls. Diane McKenzie, President-Founder 1-856-207-6488 Email wildflower7@comcast.net We meet every Saturday 10:00am – 12:00 noon at The Star Center, 100 Erial Road, Sicklerville NJ 08081

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Melissa Laster was born in Camden, NJ but was raised in Pennsauken, NJ. Melissa graduated from Monmouth University where she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Special Education. After graduation Melissa became an Elementary teacher in the City of Camden and held that position for several years. As Melissa was teaching she furthered her education at Rowan University where she received a Master of Arts and Educational Specialist degree in School Psychology. She is presently a School Psychologist in the City of Camden and truly enjoys servicing the Special needs population in the city and being an advocate for their parents. Melissa enjoys spending time with her husband and their gorgeous son. She enjoys being a mentor and a big sister to the youth of the community and prays that God will use her to make a positive difference in their lives.

Contact information for Rubies and Pearls. Melissa Laster Vice President /Lead Mentor Phone: 609-636-5172 We meet every Saturday 10:00am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12:00 noon at The Star Center, 100 Erial Road, Sicklerville NJ 08081

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CHAPTER

Potential meter versus reality (What has your man done to accomplish his own self goals?)

Stop rating your man on his potential Think about a parking meter. Once you park, you have to find change to put into the meter so you do not get a ticket. Some meters require quarters only, and some take all change. What are your requirements? All meters range in time frames; depending on the meter equals how much time you have to park. Once you park, you must look at the time and make sure you have enough change to feed the meter; if you are not done in time, the meter expires. Now let’s apply this to a man. You will often hear me repeat the importance of having requirements. Setting requirements and following them through on your part is very valuable for the relationship. If your requirements are you must be engaged before sex, then don’t break it – the moment you do, you lose your other set of requirements, and he may not consider you as serious. How much change are you willing to put into the man? Is he important enough to you that you see a strong relationship growing into a fulfilling life of marriage? If that’s the case, keep feeding that meter, make sure you go to the bank, and get a case of quarters. How is he important to you? Potential versus reality is one of the most common downfalls of a woman’s perception of a relationship. I like to break things down in steps so you can get a better understanding. For all those visual learners, I will show you the difference between potential and reality – you be the judge of which has more weight. According to dictionary.com, the definition of potential is “actual; capable of being or becoming.” This is positive, which means if you place a potential mark on your man, he has the ability to be whatever it is you both may had discussed regarding his goals and future endeavors. Potential is very important as you both court; there must be some substance to hold for another phone conversation and date. You want to walk away saying to yourself, this man or woman has potential in the areas of family, finances, growth, career, or whatever you discussed that holds importance to you.

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Remember that ability is the key word – don’t get stuck on it, discover what the ability is. Many women get stuck on ability, which is the same as potential. As women, we want nothing but the best from our man. We can see the areas they need grooming in better than they can see for themselves. We tend to help them find their mark, to the point where it’s our mark, not theirs. We put so much into what we want for them based on their ability to later find that what we want or see for them may not be the plan they have for themselves. I hear many times women stating that their man has the potential to do things but will not do them. How much time are we going to give a man for his potential? When is he going to make his potential into a reality? Is he just telling you things to keep you quiet, or do you see continuous accomplishments to complete his goal? Women are made to care and nurture others, whether it is your man, children, or loved ones; this is how we are built. Do not become preoccupied by your perception in what you think you see in your man, instead of what it really is. In other words, open your eyes and be honest with yourself; it does not take ten years to complete school unless you are a doctor; this is called procrastination. This may be for you, ladies – if you have the desire to do something to better you and your family, what is the holdup? Procrastination can be a major distraction for anyone. Rating your man on his potential is not a prerequisite for the relationship. Step up to the plate, ladies, and take it for face value. Potential will only get you so far, so stop making excuses. It’s okay to want more for your man, especially if he is continuing to reach his goals. Don’t fall into the pit of the ability of a man, but have more quality for yourself and live up to it. If you want a man that has a plan for his life and is striving for success, hang in there. On the other hand, if you have a man that does not meet your requirements regarding achieving his plans for his life, you do not have to fall victim to the pity party he gives himself. Every man you meet will not be the man for you, and will not have the same or similar set of goals. Let’s visit reality: after investing time into your man, does his potential equal the actual reality in what he wants out of life? Reality means “something that constitutes a real or actual thing as distinguished from something apparent” (dictionary.com). Reality cannot be more specific, a real or actual thing. Straight to the point, what is your man doing? Does he have goals? How long has he had them? Is he doing anything concrete about them? All of these questions are actual; get the answers, which will equal reality. Can you remember when your mother or girlfriend asked you questions about the man you were involved with? Questions you know the answers to but make excuses for. For example, Terry is thirty-five and lives with his aunt. Linda’s family asks her why a man at his age lives with his aunt. Linda replies that he had his own place, but his children’s mother took him for so much child support he lost his apartment. On the other hand you are a twenty-nine, single mother of two children

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in school for your masterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s degree, have a apartment, and work full time. You become defensive immediately, making an excuse for him because you know what they are thinking. Terry has potential to be a truck driver, but he has not inquired about taking the test, but speaks about it occasionally. Ladies, a man talking about what he is going to do and has not done yet does not put him in the reality zone. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk

Did you know that if your body does not selfregulate itself, this is when disease begins to occur?

BY: Tina Louise

for you; he is also rating you to see how naive you are to believe him. This couple was living together; they both had a child from another relationship, and had a child together. The man stated that he wanted to become a barber. He had skills cutting his own hair and others in the neighborhood. He was between jobs and told his girlfriend barber school cost $300.00. Because his girlfriend knew his potential, she gave him the money. I said he was between jobs, which means she was paying all the bills and he was living with her. (Lesson to be learned from the topic of my book.) Several weeks went on and he was not in school, so what happened to his desire to go to barber school, and most importantly, her $300.00? He never used the money for school; his potential was all it was capable of becoming a barber, not the reality of being one. Quality is a standard in its own depending on the type of quality you want, high or settling for whatever comes your way. Potential is a good thing; however, it does not constitute substance. Make sure that when feeding that meter (the man), you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t run out of time and get a ticket of heartache and pain. 1 5

The body starts to heal itself when it remembers how to self regulate. Therefore, unless you fully pay attention to your conscious - the healing in the body cannot be understood. Unfortunately, most of us ignore the healing system. Every part of the body can respond to thoughts and feelings, and these are the invisible catalyst that can start the healing process. As breathing is constant, so should healing be a constant process. Your mind and body are in constant communication. Are you ignoring the sensations in your body, that signal that something is going on? Become more aware of the unifying invisible field of communication in the mind. You need to become emotionally free ! Take note of your life, your mind, your body. Look at your situation from every point. Dedicate yourself - by taking a step by step approach to purification. This leads to happiness, which really is simple. When we let too many buried feelings, wrong decisions, possessions, and too many activities entangle our thoughts we get over-whelmed. Let it go, relax and release. We can all make a choice to be whole, complete and free. In conclusion: a healthy heart, a positive in tunedspirit - balances your mind and body; because a broken spirit dries up the bones. Take time to retreat focus on being re-energized and renewed. Until next time, "don't forget to stretch, drink plenty of water, take a walk, read a good book, go get a Massage, or take a Yoga Class. Some of these things will help you distress and help your body regulate. Keep your head-up, speak words of peace and good health. Take care! Peace and Blessings I -FEMALE MAGAZINE

n your twenties you reflect on your life, this is the time you look back and begin to address personal things you want to accomplish. You also may find that you have regrets and wish you would have continued your education or pursued a business. Maybe you did not continue your education because of choices you made and you had to work? Maybe you became pregnant early and had to skip education and work to feed your child? Could you have not started your own business because you were afraid to fail? There are many reasons that can hold us from the vision God has given us to pursue our goals, and passion. The problem is, if you continue to not do anything about it, you will find yourself five years later not accomplishing the vision. While the vision still remains in your thoughts you lose yourself in life, working for others, your family, and you will not experience the joy of complete happiness within. #1 FEAR Fear is the reason you do not accomplish your goals. The feelings of your stomach in knots, or you will fail while making a speech are all feelings of nervousness. When you tap into the nervousness instead of tapping in your gift, you continue on the rollercoaster. Your focus in life should be about making you happy. If there is something you are lacking, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let fear take control, you make the decision push forth and make it happen. There are barriers in life that can get in the way, the goal is to look ahead,

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STOP LETTING THESE

4 EXUSES

learn your barriers work on them and get into your destiny. #2 TIME

Time is the only thing in life we cannot get back. Time cannot be changed or reversed. Not having enough time can be a major reason when things are not complete. You can make time to shop, go on dates, and get your hair done, but do not allow time to work on your goals. There are twenty four hours in a day; out of that time we spend six to eight hours sleeping. Another eight to ten hours working and another two cooking, preparing children for the next day, and if you are in school factor in another two hours to complete assignments, which leaves about two to four hours. How you determine to spend those hours is your choice. Some people would like to use the additional time in prayer, with family, work out or work on your business. Are you tracking your time and working on your plan. It is important for relaxation and to not be overworked. Can you honestly keep telling yourself that you have no time? #3 MONEY Money is a requirement to have in life to have the needs such as a home, transportation, and to purchase items to help

CONTROL YOUR LIFE us in our daily lives. Wikipedia defines money as object or record that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a given socio -economic context or country. Because we need both goods and services we sometimes take on another job to help us acquire both our wants and needs. This is a real problem that we face because we tend to think the more we make the more we can spend not having a retirement plan, life insurance, our children college expenses paid, and six months of emergency funds available just in case. Instead of letting the lack of money control your life learn to control the way you think and your thinking can control your life. #4 Not Following Through Life happens and this never gets done, or a traumatic situation is presented and you did not accomplish the goal you started. In reality life does happen, which can set us back, but after the set back then what? Do you forget about your plans or get caught up doing other things that you lose yourself. That could have been years ago, whatever your that is holding you tends to be the problem of not following through. We all have abilities and talents God has placed inside of us. In order for those talents to flourish, we must work to see results. 1 6

You been through so much in life and want to share your story with the world and keep telling yourself you are going to write a book and you don’t. Or you are a great cook and can vision a catering business but you don’t know what steps to take, so instead you continue to live out someone else’s dream by working for them. Three income taxes later, no money is saved and instead of you working on your goals and business, Disney World or that car you wanted now have your dreams. Bottom line, whatever you want to accomplish find out how and do it. Paperwork is the key to any business, so stop planning in your head and start planning in reality, follow through just like the employer you work for, if they did it so can you.

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I -FEMALE MAGAZINE

Financial Advice For Women: Your Needs Are Different By: Eve Kaplan, CFP(R)

2. Women have less for retirement

for other reasons, too. Studies show women have lower 401(k) participation rates than men. Less than half of wage-earning women Practitioner in the US participate in retirement plans. Women (more often than men) interrupt their careers to care for children, aging parents and grandchildren. Being a caregiver can save money, but comes at a huge cost if care-giving displaces a stream of income a woman gave up. 3. Women have different insurance needs. Women who don’t work nonetheless have economic value Are women different when it comes to and need life insurance. This is financial planning? The unequivocal particularly true if they’re caring answer is: Yes. for underage children at home. In the event of unexpected death, Here are a few reasons why: Women life insurance proceeds can be tend to live longer than men, earn spent to pay others for their less, save less for retirement and they homemaking services (food prepahave different insurance needs. ration, child care, car transport). Women also need longWomen also tend to approach finanterm care insurance more than cial planning advice differently. The men since they live longer and biggest single financial challenge often outlive their spouses. A trip Americans face is lack of retirement to any assisted living facility or preparedness. These issues are espenursing home will confirm that the cially acute for women. majority of residents are women. This insurance need will grow as Here’s a brief recap of some of the people continue to live longer special financial issues women face: lives. 4. Women are more insecure about 1. Women live longer than men, but financial matters. If married, earn less. Women in the US live an women tend to delegate financial average 5 years longer than men, decision-making to their husbands but typically earn 23% less (5% (caveat: I’m not saying this hapless if it’s an identical job). As a pens all the time — but it’s comresult, they have less retirement mon). When women absent themassets and a higher risk of outlivselves from financial decisioning them. The difference is starmaking, they suffer even more if tling: women typically have 1/3 their husbands predecease them. I less money set aside for retireoften see women who don’t know ment than men. To counteract where key financial accounts are this, women need to stay in the held, or what kind of planning labor force longer (if possible), their husbands had in mind. Newly save more and keep their employwidowed women are especially ment skills up-to-date if they exit vulnerable to “advisors” who live the labor market. on commissions — and who don’t I -FEMALE MAGAZIN E

necessarily disclose a conflict of interest when giving advice. Transaction-based advicegiving often has a pattern that helps generate a commission: 1) identify a need (e.g. “financial help”) 2) instill a fear (e.g. “running out of money”), 3) locate a product that “solves this problem” (e.g. an annuity) and 4) “close the deal.” I’m critical of this approach since I often find the client is confused or given insufficient information to make an informed decision. Women are more receptive to advice because they worry more. Since women are more insecure about financial matters, they tend to be more receptive to professional advice. It’s not surprise that women often worry more about financial issues because they are often are charged with the well-being of their families – or themselves if they live alone In the coming decades, experts say women will control more than 50% of the wealth in the US. By contract, only 25% of Certified Financial Planner® Practitioners are female. This may produce a potential mismatch between the rising number of female clients and the number of female financial planners who personally understand the sometimes more intuitive approach women clients take. Regardless of gender, clients need a space to discuss emotional issues that revolve around money. Studies show that clients who are emotionally invested in a financial plan always have a higher success rate in terms of implementing their plan and realizing their goals. If you are female, and work with a financial advisor, make sure your voice is heard and your input is considered in your financial planning and investment process. http://www.forbes.com/sites/feeonlyplanner/2012/01/31/ financial-advice-for-women-your-needs-are-different/

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Women Share Their Breast Cancer Experiences By Nicole Hardesty

1 in 8 U.S. women will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. She’s your mother, sister, daughter, aunt, neighbor and co-worker. More than that, she’s friends with you on your social network. Raising awareness to this issue and all of the research done to prevent and treat it is just one small step in the fight against breast cancer. BlackPlanet members share their personal experiences in their battle with breast cancer.

the point of not wanting the surgery. I had a close male friend who told me I shouldn’t be that shallow. He said if people couldn’t accept my situation they need not be in  my life, & that I needed to be here for my kids!! For now I am cancer free, & I thank God everyday for  my life. I am a fighter & I am blessed. Anyone going through this never give up, love yourself, find a support system, & hold on to God!!  Brooklyn Honey

I was diagnosed in May 2009. I a double mastectomy then implants. I am so happy they caught it early. I am a three-time survivor. I have I’ve been cancer free since August two more rounds of chemo to go. 2009 and now I’m better than ever. I’ve got cancer, cancer doesn’t  have me. Carolyn King-Kirkendoll

Yolanda Green-Hill

Sylvia Halepota

I am 39 years old. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April of 2004. I had 2 aunts & a mother who died from it. I had a double mastectomy followed later with implants. Having cancer makes life so real. I was always worried about my looks, clothes & how people saw me to

I’m a survivor for one year now, diagnosed with stage 1. I feel great and I know God is good.

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A few breast cancer facts: 

Besides skin cancer, breast cancer is the most commonly diag-

nosed cancer among American women. Just under 30% of cancers in women are breast cancers. In 2011, there were more than 2.6 million breast cancer survivors in the US. In men, about 1 in 10 breast cancers are believed to be due to BRCA2 mutations, and even fewer cases to BRCA1 mutations. About 85% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic mutations that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations. In 2011, an estimated 230,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 57,650 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer.

Awareness is key. Do you have a breast cancer story to share?

hellobeautiful.com/2147645/women-share-their-breast-cancerexperiences/

I -FEMALE MAGAZINE

“These are the things that I love. Let me use them.”

Introducing Keith McCrea…

It has been said that the greatest of ideas lay in the plots of the cemetery. Hundreds of thousands of manuscripts will never be shared with the world. Although the reasons may vary greatly, the world has been deprived of ideas, concepts, philosophy, poetry & prose that could have shaped it. If you have been sitting for some time, at the crossroads of dreams & reality, allow us to assure you that your dream of becoming a published author is absolutely possible. Make sure to do your due diligence in your research. Choose a publishing option that best suits you and the vision you have for your project. Crystal Stair Publications prides itself on publishing “Art that Touches the Heart”. With this as our first priority, we are only accepting manuscripts aligned with our mission.

Poet…Graphic Designer…Photographer and given the day, so much more. ‘Our modern day Cyrano’ is full of imagination and creativity. Keith McCrea started with his first poem, in high school. Putting those words on paper to express his feelings of affection was until that moment, very unfamiliar. From that time on, Keith has been navigating through life, learning and maturing as a man and a poet. He says that the greatest of these lessons, is learning “how to express love and connecting with another soul”. Say That You Love Me is a written testament to those lessons learned.

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killed Ameya in front of their newborn son. William started to worry when Ameya’s friend called looking for her. They had made plans to meet at the laundromat, but Ameya had never showed.

William Spratley flicks through the text messages on his phone until he finds the one he’s been looking for. It’s from his 27-year old daughter, Ameya, and it’s the last words he will ever exchange with her. Ameya was killed by her abusive boyfriend in January.

“In my gut, I knew he had done something to her,” William said. He called the police, emergency rooms, and every friend and relative he could think of, but no one had seen Ameya. That night, William and Ameya’s friends searched the apartment she shared with Keith. They found her body on the floor of her closet, covered in dirty laundry.

“I keep this text because I can’t let go,” William sobs into his hands as he recounts the details of his daughter’s murder.

“All my life I tried to protect her,” William said. “I was there, I’d always been there for her, but I couldn’t save her.”

William had always been uneasy around Ameya’s boyfriend, Keith, and had tried to talk his daughter out of the relationship several times.

William is now helping to raise Ameya’s three sons; and Keith has been arrested. The family is still waiting for a court date.

“He had her almost controlled…I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know she was being abused,” William said.

The family misses Ameya every day, and has a powerful message to share:

www.womenagainstabuse.org

The situation worsened when Ameya and Keith moved in together with Ameya’s two sons. Keith was in and out of jail on drug charges, but when Ameya became pregnant, she hoped their family would be enough to turn things around. And then January 11, 2010 came – the day that Keith brutally stabbed and 2 1

“We want the world to know how serious domestic violence is, and how it hurts so many lives,” William said. “It can happen to anyone. I’m only one man in a big world, but I want to be Ameya’s voice. Hers was a life that shouldn’t have been lost. I couldn’t save my daugh-

ter, but maybe I can help save the next victim.”

Domestic violence Also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, and intimate partner violence (IPV), is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, or cohabitation. Domestic violence, so defined, has many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. Alcohol consumption and mental illness can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence. Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era. Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.

I -FEMALE MAGAZINE

Who we are Founded in 1976 as a part-time hotline in a women's center, WAA now operates the largest domestic violence program in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Throughout its history, WAA has been a leader in advocacy and direct services to victims of domestic violence, operating the only shelter in Philadelphia for abused women and their children; the nation's first Legal Center for domestic violence victims; and the region's first transitional housing program for domestic violence victims and their children. What we do WAA's services currently reach over 12,500 each year through emergency shelter, transitional housing, legal services, hotline counseling, behavioral healthcare, education and advocacy. Who we serve WAA serves individuals living in the greater Philadelphia area who represent a diverse segment of the population. The majority of WAA's clients, excluding those partaking in advocacy, education and training programs, are women and children, of which they are 51% African American, 18% Caucasian, 12% Hispanic and 2% Asian. Women Against Abuse 100 South Broad Street, Suite 1341 Philadelphia, PA 19110 215.386.1280 iPledge is all about you. Every movement gains strength in numbers. Every number has a faceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;starting with you. iPledge is a public awareness campaign that calls on everyday Philadelphians to speak out when they see or hear domestic violence in the community. Every October, as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, WAA holds an iPledge kickoff event to which the press and public are invited. The event typically draws 250 local and state political officers, the media, students and community members. The iPledge campaign also consists of posters and advertisements throughout the city that call attention to the importance of awareness for domestic violence. iPledge materials, such as cards, magnets and posters, are available for order year round. iPledge is continuously growing and developing in response to community needs to spread its message and impact across the region. Make your pledge today!

Toll-free 24-hour Hotline: 1.866.723.3014 I-FEMALE MAGAZIN

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