Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine March/April 2018

Dave and Cheryl Rose Classic Charity Golf Tournament See page 10

INSIDE: Green: The Powerhouse of Plants Spring Birdwatching in Utah Valley Trauma and Shame: Gateways Into Addiction

MARCH/APRIL 2018

UTValleyWellness.com

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TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Featured Story A Good Day – Dave and Cheryl Rose Classic Charity Golf Tournament 10

3 Ways Busy People Can Eat More Veggies!

Fitness

It’s the Small Things 13 5 Steps to Get Your Summer Body

Health The Power of Hypnosis

Athlete’s Corner

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Nutrition Green: The Powerhouse of Plants

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MARCH/APRIL 2018 On The Cover: Dave and Cheryl Rose Classic Charity Golf Tournament. Photo by Camilia Lund.

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Culture Safety, Connection, Competence: A New Way to be Compassionate From Peru to Provo 31

Outdoor Living Trauma and Shame: Gateways Into Addiction

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Financial Things to Know Before Signing a Commercial Lease 18

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Spring Birdwatching in Utah Valley

Family Wellness How to Talk to Your Teenager about Hard Things 23 The Power of Validation 24 Getting Rid of Old Baggage 26 Wired for Connection 27

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Departments

Letter from the Editor 5 Meet Our Staff 6 UVU Letter 8 Community Focus 9 Calendar of Events 28 Featured Directory Listings

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FROM THE EDITOR

I love warm spring days that allow me to throw open my windows and let fresh air blow through the house! It feels like the breeze washes away the stagnation of routines, the germs from winter illnesses and the lethargy of cold days. With that fresh green scent in my nose, I feel inspired to clean clutter out of my closets and out of my life! Spring is a great time to let go of unneeded or useless things in our lives.

It’s always amazing to me how great it feels to take a load of no-longer-needed items to the thrift store, clear dead plants and weeds from my garden, or lose a couple of winter pounds. I feel a little lighter (literally!) and freer without extra stuff around to get in my way and clutter my space.

It feels even better to clean out my emotional garbage – to let go of a grudge, forgive myself for my mistakes or let go of a toxic relationship. Just like those scary closets full of old clothes, forgotten papers and broken toys, our lives can become full of emotional attachments and experiences that are no longer beneficial to us. Letting go of those things can lighten our hearts and help us breathe a little deeper!

This issue is full of inspiring ideas for letting go of emotional and physical baggage, and filling your life with increased vitality and well-being. We hope it will leave you feeling stronger, healthier and happier! So, open your windows, say good-bye to the old and enjoy the fresh renewal of spring!

Lisa Goff Editor

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 5

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M E E T O U R S TA F F

Lisa Goff, RYT Editor

Alesha Sevy Kelley Creative Consultant

Terrin Parker, PT Associate Editor

Wendy Thueson, MH Author, Nutrition

Travis Lott, CPT, CNS Author, Fitness

Kelli Bettridge, CPT, FNS Author, Fitness

Phil Scoville, LMFT Author, Family Wellness

Charles Abouo Author, Athlete’s Corner

Triston Morgan, PhD, LMFT Executive Editor

Would you like to see your photography included in the next issue of Utah Valley Health & Wellness?

If so, please contact our staff at editoruvhw@gmail.com or 385-325-0997.

For more information on advertising or other inquiries, including career information, visit our website at www.utvalleywellness.com, email editoruvhw@gmail.com or call us at 385-325-0997.

The publisher is not responsible for the accuracy of the articles in Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine. The information contained within has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable.

Neither the publisher nor any other party assumes liability for loss or damage as a result of reliance on this material. Appropriate professional advice should be sought before making decisions.

Outside of our staff authors, articles written by providers or professionals are invited authors and represent the opinions of that particular individual, business, group or organization.

If an article is a paid advertisement, we will place the word “Advertisement” or “Advertorial” to identify it as such. ©Copyright 2018.

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Dear Friends, It is my privilege and honor to share a few thoughts and observations as we celebrate the inauguration of our newest college at Utah Valley University – the College of Health and Public Service (CHPS).

On July 1, 2017, the College of Aviation and Public Services concluded its impressive history as an important institution at UVU. Each of the existing departments in that organizational unit joined with others from the College of Science and Health to create CHPS. The goal of this transition was to more evenly spread the responsibility of serving our expanding student body across UVU colleges. But we view this change as a springboard for future success and an opportunity to better serve our constituents – whether they are our outstanding students or admired partner employers and agencies.

It is no exaggeration to say that the degrees and certificates CHPS offers are in high demand by students, industry, and communities. Pilots are retiring at alarming rates and must be replaced with knowledgeable and skilled professionals. First responders are required every day to address frequent medical emergencies, prevent and solve criminal activity, extinguish structural and wildland fires, and deal with the consequences of tragic accidents and even major disasters. Our growing and aging population indicates a dire need for care in dental hygiene, nursing, respiratory therapy, and public and community health. The expansion of cities in Utah County and elsewhere mandates the employment of wise public administrators who are able to tackle some of society’s toughest political and economic challenges. In addition, the threats associated with terrorism and international conflict necessitate those who work tirelessly to gather intelligence and protect us through the implementation of homeland and national security policies.

David A. McEntire, Ph.D. Dean, College of Health and Public Service Utah Valley University David A. McEntire is Dean of the College of Health and Public Service at Utah Valley University. Dr. McEntire has a B.A. from Brigham Young University and graduate degrees from the University of Denver. He has received numerous grants from the National Science Foundation, and has studied disasters and terrorist attacks in Peru, the Dominican Republic, Texas, New York, California, and Haiti. He has published six books and over 100 articles in the areas of emergency management and homeland security. Dr. McEntire previously worked for the American Red Cross and has provided consulting services to the Higher Education Program of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. He is a former professor, Assistant Chair, Associate Dean, and Director of Summer Session at the University of North Texas.

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Fortunately, the administration, faculty, and staff in the College of Health and Public Service are dedicated to addressing these important needs in society. Our instruction is superb, and the hands-on, engaged learning environment we provide ensures our graduates leave with coveted certificates and a quality education. In short, CHPS is the solution to many of the problems we are facing today!

I therefore invite you to learn more about the College of Health and Public Service (see uvu.edu/chps). We also encourage you to consider how you might join us in support of our ongoing mission of student success.

David A. McEntire

David A. McEntire, Ph.D. Dean, College of Health and Public Service Utah Valley University

Community

Provo’s First Female Mayor Hello Utah Valley! I am Michelle Kaufusi and I am the newly elected mayor of Provo City!

(It never gets old repeating that introduction. Even now when I say it out loud, or write it down, I am filled with excitement and gratitude. I get to be the mayor of one of the most top-ranked cities in the United States!)

My hope is that the women of our city will come to know that they have an advocate in the mayor’s office who understands their lives, and shares their hopes and dreams.

Due to the historical implications of the outcome, a lot was said about this past municipal election in Provo. Provo has never had a female mayor before and this past November, the city had two females on the ballot. During the campaign I tried very hard to make my platform about policies and ideas, but now that I am in office it’s nice to think about what it means to be the first female mayor of Provo.

To me, it means a lot.

I was raised here in Provo by a single mom who worked graveyard shifts as a nurse to take care of her seven children. My mother’s load wasn’t easy and she worked incredibly hard, but because she chose to stay here in Provo we had a substantial amount of support. My neighborhood became a big enveloping family to my siblings and me.

Provo’s unique welcoming attitude and service-oriented community was a boon to my mother when she needed to know her kids would be safe in this town when she couldn’t be around. I grew up with a sense of duty to serve the community and give back what was so generously given to my family.

I know well the uphill battles many women face in our community. I’ve seen mothers showing up day-after-day to improve the lives of their children in our school system. I see our female student population putting an emphasis on education. I’ve watched many women in our community live courageous lives full of children, grandchildren, church and community service.

Many times I have been that mother driving the carpool routes in sweats and sandals, with a half-eaten sandwich on the dashboard, trying to solve all the world’s problems at once. My hope is that the women of our city will come to know that they have an advocate in the mayor’s office who understands their lives, and shares their hopes and dreams. I may be the first female mayor, but I will certainly not be the last.

Michelle Kaufusi Mayor, Provo

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A

GOOD D AY

Dave and

Cheryl Rose

Classic Charity

Golf Tournament

Brings Hope to Those

Battling Cancer

By Terrin Parker

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Morning arrives, and we open our eyes.

We check our phone. Perhaps we begin our daily yoga routine, or grab a quick bite before heading to the office. With the freshness of a new year still lingering, we look forward with anticipation. We often wonder what the year will bring. We seldom wonder if we’ll be around to find out. But that’s the question Dave Rose and his family faced in 2008, after he received a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

Would he be around to watch his youngest daughter graduate from high school? See his son return from an LDS mission? Hold the grand baby his oldest daughter was carrying?

Statistically speaking—probably not. Only five in one million survive pancreatic cancer.

Dave Rose knew about statistics. But he also knew how to fight, and he knew how to win. Rose played basketball at University of Houston, where, as co-captain of the team, he helped earn them a #1 ranking and a seat at the national championship game in 1983. He has coached the BYU men’s basketball team

since 1997, and been head coach since 2005.

BYU was the second-most improved team in the nation under Rose and his coaching staff in their first season.

Considered by many to be the most successful coach in the program’s history, Rose has taken the team to the NCAA Tournament seven times now, and is ranked fifth all-time for best career starts by wins.

He is three-time Mountain West Conference Coach of the Year, and the only BYU coach in history to win at least 20 games in each of his first nine seasons. Though he has beaten his share of tough opponents, Dave Rose had never faced an opponent this big. This ruthless. This cruel.

“No one wants to be diagnosed with cancer,” Dave shares.“Before my personal experience with it, I sort of saw it as a death sentence.” He had seen the effects of cancer.

He and his wife, Cheryl, served as chairs for the Children with Cancer Foundation, spending countless hours helping children and their families cope with cancer. Cheryl, herself, had watched four of her sisters and a niece battle the dreaded disease. And now, the person she loved most in the world was staring it in the face.

As the Roses walked through the doors of Huntsman Cancer Institute (HCI) to begin their battle, their anxiety abated and they found a refuge from the storm. “When we

first arrived at Huntsman, obviously our world had been rocked,” Cheryl recalls. “But, as we stepped through the doors, we felt instant love from everyone—from the receptionist, to the doctors, to the lab technicians—I mean, it was amazing.”

Though Dave had his challenges while going through the different procedures required to treat his cancer, he didn’t miss one game or one opportunity to recruit. He was at his daughter’s high school graduation— and her wedding. He got to embrace his son as he returned from serving a mission. And he got to hold the grand baby his daughter

BYU Basketball photo courtesy of BYU Photography.

was carrying, and the grand babies who came after. Huntsman’s commitment to caring, coupled with their cutting edge research and treatments, have given Dave eight more birthdays since his diagnosis.

“The doctors were ready for me and my diagnosis because of the research that had been done years before,” he says. “I’ve been able to do my job, and have all of the exciting days and holidays and times with my family—I am so grateful for the chance Huntsman has given me to navigate through this.” Dave wants to extend the same hope to others by ensuring that the people at HCI have funds to continue their research.

That’s where Dave and Cheryl’s passion now lies, in helping to continue HCI funding so that lifesaving treatments will be ready for others who will follow in their footsteps, through the doors of Huntsman Cancer Institute, anxious and aching for more life. With this mission on their minds, they eagerly accepted an invitation from Guy Roche Sr,

Committee Chairman of the Utah County Huntsman Ambassadors, to attend the Golf to Eradicate Cancer fundraising tournament in Utah Valley two years ago. Roche lost his wife, Josie, to cancer in 2014, and the Roses found common ground with him after hearing his heartbreaking story.

The fact that Roche was doing all of this in memory of his wife resonated with Cheryl.

Before she lost her sister to cancer, Cheryl made a promise to continue this fight against cancer and be Janet’s voice. “Those who have loved ones fighting cancer feel a strong pull to do whatever we can to move this work forward—for the people that we love who have passed on,” Cheryl says. “That’s why I, personally, feel the commitment to get involved.” They were honored when Roche approached them in 2017 for permission to change the event’s name to the “Dave and Cheryl Rose Classic.”

Joining forces with Roche, Dave and Cheryl are committed to this fight; to extending lives and eradicating cancer through fundraising efforts that make possible advancements in cancer treatment. “There are so many amazing causes out there—great charities and organizations that need help,” says Cheryl, “But this is the one that we’ve chosen to focus on and to put our efforts behind.”

“This is exactly what we want to do,” Dave echoes, “Raise a large amount of money to present to the HCI, to enable them to continue their research and to find a cure for cancer. That’s what the initial title of the tournament was—Golf to Eradicate Cancer—and that’s what the purpose of the event is.”

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Continued from Page 11

“This is truly a perfect partnership,” Roche adds. “I’m so honored to know Dave and Cheryl, and to have them as hosts for this exceptional fundraiser. We have big plans going forward to continue the exceptionalism that we have been able to generate in the past. Dave Rose is truly a living legend—both on and off the court. Having Dave and Cheryl to inspire us with their love and leadership make us realize that we can defeat cancer, through research.”

The Roses, along with Guy Roche, want people to know what an important role members of the community can play in this cause. Their efforts will help extend the lives of their neighbors, their loved ones, perhaps even their own. Though the primary focus of this event is raising funds, they are passionate about bringing the community together for another purpose, and that is simply support. They want people to come together and share their stories, and their strength. They want people to feel the desire and drive to do great things—to go out and bring people in who want to give and receive support. Hope. Love.

“I am so grateful that we can be part of this,” says Cheryl. “There are so many people out there whose stories are similar, and whose courage is strong. Obviously, there are times when it’s tough,” she continues. “Dave and I have a slogan that other people have picked up as well, and it’s: Today is a good day. We feel like every day that we spend together is a good day. That’s how we try to approach it.” Their support of one another is evident, and their enthusiasm for this event is palpable.

“This is a place to come and get support, a place to come and feel good for a day, and a place to come out and help one of the premiere cancer hospitals in the country have a few more resources to do a few

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more things,” says Dave. Cheryl plays off her husband, “If we all work together towards this, as a community, we can make a real impact—and that’s exciting!”

The Dave and Cheryl Rose Classic will be held on May 21, 2018, at the Alpine Country Club in Highland, UT. The Roses invite community and corporate sponsors to join with them in this most worthy cause for a day of giving and golfing. One hundred percent of the sponsorships and donations go to support the mission of Huntsman Cancer Institute. In the words of Jon Huntsman: “There is no more important human quality than sharing with others. There is no source of true happiness more complete than an act of charity.”

To learn more about this event, read more about Dave and Cheryl’s story, or become involved as a sponsor or donor, please visit the website at www.golftoeradicatecancer.org. You can make a donation directly to Huntsman Cancer Foundation from the website, or contribute prizes for the drawing.

As Cheryl so eloquently puts it, “None of us know how long we are going to be here—we don’t know what awaits us. The important thing is how we live each day, how we love the people we are closest to, and how we make a positive impact in the world.”

As evening comes, we close our eyes. We rest our minds, and feel the air move in and out of our lungs. We listen to the soft symphony of crickets outside our window. We snuggle up to someone we love.

And, as slumber sets in, we give thanks for another day. Because, today was a good day.

l l a sm IT’S THE

By Travis Lott, CPT, CES, FNS, WLS

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FITNESS

THINGS

About the Author Most of you reading this have heard this phrase in some form before, whether from a spouse, a friend, someone Travis Lott is a certified at church, or even a coach. It is a straight forward phrase too. I believe it applies to everything that we do not only personal trainer, corrective for ourselves, but for others around us. Here are a few examples: exercise specialist, certified Have you ever heard the people on Dave Ramsey’s financial radio show coming on and doing a ‘debt free’ scream? nutritionist, and certified If you haven’t, you should. It’s very funny, yet really inspiring after hearing their personal stories. What most of those weight-loss specialist at Leantrition. He has trained personal stories have in common with each other is the fact that they consistently kept at their goal of paying off many diverse individuals debt month after month, year after year, until it was gone. They had to sacrifice on this vacation and on that new toy, and groups over the years eating out, etc. It was the small things that got them out of debt. including people of all ages, Another example. I was driving the other day and heard a commercial on the radio about a divorce lawyer, saying weight classes, and medical “you’ve worked so hard to accumulate a life-time of wealth, then suddenly by surprise your spouse wants a divorce, histories. Many of his clients have seen very successful and you suddenly foresee your hard-earned life savings potentially being wiped out.” What made me laugh was the results that have changed their “suddenly” or “by surprise” phrases they used as if you had no idea your relationship was poor for years and now it’s a lives. Travis is passionate shock to you that your spouse wants a divorce. Perhaps he or she never put in the time or didn’t do “the small things” about the health industry and that nurtures the relationship and keeps it healthy. takes pride in helping others I’m sure you can personally think of other examples of where the small things make the biggest differences achieve a new, healthy way of living. over time, whether it be spiritually, mentally or emotionally. So why should physical results be any different from the rest of these examples?! There’s value and an irreplaceable satisfaction in working hard for something and achieving it.

Let’s face it, we live in a culture of “I want it now!” Guess what....losing that stubborn belly fat or those love handles ain’t gonna happen with those body wraps or magic firming lotions.

But that’s why those fads sell, because we all want it now and we don’t want to put in the effort or time. Putting on muscle and looking physically healthy takes time and it’s the small things that will get you there. It’s getting in those workouts, sometimes only for a few minutes. It’s avoiding that sugary soda or the candy jar on a daily basis and choosing healthier options. It’s getting the rest that you need. It’s doing the small things every day. And sometimes you might fail and that’s okay.

When clients come in to our office for a consultation, I never promise them unrealistic results, but I do tell them how long it will take them to reach their goals if they are patient, put in the consistency required, and keep at it with determination, always eyeing the prize. Once someone has a real expectation, it’s easier to accomplish the goal. The nice thing is that working out with a personal trainer increases your fitness-goal success rate by over 30 percent, according to a study published in the Journal of Sports Science & Medicine.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or advice! Have a healthy week and remember, it’s the small things that count!

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 13

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FITNESS

5to GetSteps Your Summer

BODY

By Kelli Bettridge, CPT, FNS Wake up! Wake up! It’s time to come out of hibernation and get ready for swimsuit season! And we all know that when it comes to spring time and getting our summer body into gear, the struggle is reaaaaal.

We all enjoyed eating all the goodies throughout the holidays and lounging around the house in our comfy layers. This makes getting back into shape feel like you are starting back at ground zero!

We have all been there!

But no fear! I am going to share 5 tips to get your summer bod ready!

About the Author Kelli is a NASM CPT and is FNS certified. She currently trains clients at Vasa Fitness. Kelli earned her Bachelor of Science Degree in Exercise Science from Utah Valley University where she currently teaches Fitness for Life.

1. Stop with the comfy clothes!

I’ll be the first to admit that my favorite type of clothing is “athleisure.” I like being comfy! Don’t we all? However, one thing that I have learned is that how I dress determines what kind of day I am going to have. If I don’t bother to change out of the sweats and T-shirt, it becomes really easy to just lounge around the house eating whatever I want. One Netflix binge later and I realize its bedtime again. On the other hand, when I wake up and get ready for the day, and dress up, I am more effective with my time during the day, and make smarter choices!

2. Schedule your workouts.

Being a fitness teacher at Utah Valley University I check to make sure my students are exercising regularly. The thing that separates those that do and those that don’t is scheduling! Every. Single. Time. 100% of those that workout regularly, schedule their workouts. It’s easy when something comes up to say, “I’ll do it later” or “I’ll workout tomorrow,” and then it never happens. If you schedule your workout times it’s going to happen!

3. Incorporate both strength training and cardio.

Most people that I talk to have the same routine at the gym, and usually it has to do with a treadmill for hours on end. There are benefits to doing both cardio activities and weight lifting. Make sure you incorporate both into your workout routine! Often times the hardest part is knowing how or where to start. I have a free workout and meal plan to help you get started so feel free to email me to get started or follow my Instagram and message me, @trainerkelli and I would be happy to help!

4. Track your food!

Be aware of what you’re eating. The saying, “our eyes are bigger than our stomachs” has some serious truth to it. When you aren’t paying attention to what or how much you are eating, it becomes so easy to overeat. If you are trying to improve your physique, nutrition is key! When I have clients or students that want to improve their diet I recommend My Fitness Pal. It’s a free app and so user friendly!

You input your info and goals and it will give you a calorie recommendation and will track all of your macros (carbs, protein and fat). All you have to do is log what you eat and it counts the calories and macros for you. Start with tracking your food and staying within your calorie range and then once you master that, focus on making healthier food choices!

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5. Plan a trip or event!

Plan a trip or event because, well, life is to be enjoyed. My clients that have the most success in accomplishing their goals are the ones that have a strong WHY. Either a goal they really want to accomplish or something they want to get in shape for, so plan yourself a little vacation! Give yourself a reason to get in shape and stay motivated by putting up a picture or reminder on your fridge or bathroom mirror! Not only will planning something exciting fuel your fire, it will also be a reward for all your hard work. So many people forget the importance of celebrating their success!

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H E A LT H

The Power of

Hypnosis

By Martha Wilks Harrison, RN, BCH, CI I became interested in hypnosis when a friend was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 39, which is rare in such a young man. It had spread to his lungs and bones. At the City of Hope, a cancer research center in California they used traditional treatments, but they also taught him to use hypnosis to manage his pain and his disease. As a former Green Beret, he played “war games” in his body seeing healthy cells destroying the tumors. His condition was determined to be terminal, but he lived another 27 years, and died of a heart attack, cancer-free.

Hypnosis is a daydream-like state of mind we experience while reading an interesting book or watching a captivating movie. Someone calls your name, and you aren’t aware because you are engrossed in the book or movie. It’s an innate ability humans have to create a trance state.

LDS Apostle Bruce R McConkie in “Mormon Doctrine” suggested that hypnotism is to be avoided since it seemed to take away agency. Stage hypnosis gives that illusion, but it is just that: an illusion. When therapeutic hypnosis was explained to him, he wrote, “I can find no fault with hypnosis as you describe it.” LDS bishops and other clergy refer clients to me, and often pay for their sessions. It’s a plus that it takes only 4-6 sessions to reach success.

Hypnosis is an effective tool for modifying behaviors like smoking, weight loss, pornography problems, sleeplessness, athletic performance, fears of tests, dating, public speaking, and much more.

Working with hypnosis has been a rewarding career as I see client after client reach their goals and march to a swifter, stronger beat. I was initially certified by the American Council of Hypnotists; currently I am a board certified instructor for the National Guild of Hypnotist Examiners.

About the Author Martha is a transplant from Florida and Utah resident for 35 years. Keynote speaker at national convention on Sexual Addiction. Instructor for National Guild of Hypnotists for 10 years.

Mother and grandmother whose hobby is riding her motorcycle in the mountains.

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Trauma and Shame: Gateways Into Addiction

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H E A LT H

Substance abuse and addiction can be confusing to understand. Often it’s misunderstood by individuals and families because of dated social stigmas, cultural judgments, and misinformation that is circulated. These, and other factors, often overshadow the reality of what fuels addiction.

By Ben Pearson, LCSW 1.All of us experience trauma and shame Any experience that leaves us feeling rejected, unsafe, and isolated can be traumatic. Shame is also a constant in reality. Shame is a belief that we are bad, broken, unworthy, and unaccepted. Trauma and shame bring with them powerful painful and unwanted thoughts and feelings that cloud our judgment. Research has shown that individuals who experience multiple forms of trauma and shame during their childhood also experience significantly higher rates of stress-related medical conditions, mental health challenges, and substance abuse as adults.

Often parents and community leaders, appropriately warn of the dangers of gateway drugs and other influences that lure the young and old into substances use. High-energy power drinks, E-cigarettes/vaping, and an array of loosely supervised pills and potions are now available at almost any convenience store. These gateway substances along with cigarettes, chewing tobacco, and marijuana, do pose realistic dangers on their own and do increase the odds of addiction in an individual. However, they are often still symptoms of a deeper masked pain.

2. The understanding of trauma and shame and its impact on addiction.

Part of what is attractive about using substances is that it gives the user the illusion of control. All of us crave control because we associate control with safety and power.

Those seeking relief from overwhelming trauma and shame often turn to substances to create a numbing sanctuary symbolizing their sense of control. The desperate search for emotional and physiological relief can be intense and armed with a strong negative self-image and/or self-worth, it becomes increasing difficult for the person struggling with such emotions to combat negative thoughts and actions by themselves.

Even though this process looks different for each of us. People often struggle to understand how their loved one, who is a fundamentally good and loving person, can turn to destructive and/or manipulative behaviors to solve personal problems. They often don’t understand the pain or the reasoning for this form of problem solving. The process feels very offensive and personal. By the time someone understands why that person is relief seeking, via drug, alcohol, and medications, everyone is traumatized. The trust of close family and friends gets eroded and each party begins to react to the other’s behaviors. Sadly, this cycle happens daily in every community.

About the Author Ben Pearson currently works as the Clinical Director for Chateau Recovery and Choice Recovery.

Addiction and mental health treatment are issues close to Ben’s heart and motivates his desire to help create a unique treatment experience for individuals and families. www.choice-recovery.com.

3. How can we break the cycle?

Step #1: Critical thinking is identifying the root cause of the problem.

It’s critical that everyone recognize that the substance was the solution to the primary problem of pain. Shifting your perspective allows you to work side by side with your loved ones to deal with the effects of shame and trauma, not just trying to control the other person’s behavior.

Step #2: Break the reactive cycle by using empathy and compassion.

Recognizing that everyone is fundamentally good even when going through pain. Punishing, shaming, engaging in power struggles, or impulsively reacting to personal fear rarely calms the situation or helps anyone see clearly the very hurt and vulnerable human being right in front of them. Shifting our perspective allows us to use tools like empathy and compassion to help strengthen our relationships.

Step #3: Focus on your personal health. Instead of attempting to control or react to the behaviors of others, shift your time and energy to being the best version of you. Improving your communication skills, identifying and setting personal boundaries, attending mental health counseling, and attending group support meetings are often great places to start.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 17

uvhw |

FINANCIAL

Things to Know Before Signing a Commercial Lease

By John Monson About the Author John Monson has nearly 25 years of sales and management experience working in the tech and commercial real estate industries. He has worked as a Strategic Account Manager and Data Sales Specialist for a national telecommunications company and achieved record sales with Uinta Business Systems here in Utah. He is currently a commercial advisor for Coldwell Banker. He has held leadership positions in a non-profit organization for many years overseeing budgets and finances as well as weekly member activities.

When it’s time to sign a lease for your business, you might be surprised and overwhelmed by the size of the multi-page document and the amount of provisions it covers. Here is a brief explanation of some of the most common provisions in a commercial lease document.

Operating Expenses - Most Landlords will add operating expenses to the base square foot price. These expenses may cover costs such as snow removal, landscaping, maintenance, utilities for common areas, and/or window washers.

Tenant Improvements - Some Landlords keep funds on hand in their annual budgets for

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tenant improvements to their properties. By asking if the Landlord has set any money aside for tenant improvements, it could mean less cash that you have to pay out of pocket to get your space move-in ready.

Growth Mode - If you see your business growing over the short-term, it’s a good idea to talk with the Landlord about expansion options. If there isn’t room for growth, you’ll want to be prepared because you may need to move.

Right to Extend & Sub-Lease - You can always ask to include a “right to extend” in your lease. This can be beneficial for both tenants (who don’t want to relocate their business)

and landlords (who don’t want to incur the costs of finding a new tenant). Also, be clear on what your sub-leasing options are in case you need to move out of the space before your lease ends.

Maintenance – Make sure you understand what would happen if a major system fails, like the HVAC, plumbing, or electrical.

Who will be paying for the repairs?

Working with a Broker - Strange as it may sound, fees for the landlord’s broker and your broker, are almost always paid by the landlord. Therefore, it is to your benefit to have a professional’s guidance and insight.

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AT H L E T E ’ S C O R N E R

3 Ways Busy People Can Eat More

By Charles Abouo

Veggies!

If I have the choice to start my meal with a salad or the main dish, I will go for the main dish every single time. A salad has no chance in a popularity contest with a dish such as warm, homemade Lasagna or your favorite meal. The nutrients available in salads are vital for your health, if you are tempted to choose something else, don’t give yourself the choice.

When eating at hotels with my team in France, I usually don’t have that choice. The salad comes out first and nothing else is presented until 10-15 minutes later when “salad time” ends. You end up eating something with greens, carrots, and beets at this time whether you like it or not. It seems everyone is willing to eat some vegetables when it is the first part of lunch or dinner. How often do you start meals in the home with vegetables or salad?

A good way to get the ball rolling when trying to be healthier is to add good, healthy food to your current lifestyle.

Like the salad before the meals in France, you can add a healthy habit to a current routine. We don’t need to go to extremes and eat just salads as meals when embracing healthy eating. That isn’t enjoyable or realistic. Eat tasty meals, just do so after you have your salad. You can start making positive changes by adding these 3 easy habits to your day. These are simple, easy ways to get to 5 servings of fruit and vegetables every day. #1 Green smoothie Eat your favorite breakfast, but start with a green smoothie with lots of greens. An early green smoothie provides several servings of fruits and vegetables and is a nutritional boost of energy and vitality for your day. #2 Salad before every meal eaten in the home It can be hard to get fresh vegetables when eating out.

Some of us eat out once or twice a day, but we should be able to get one meal inside the home. A salad with greens and fresh vegetables before your meals is another way to provide your body with important vitamins and micronutrients #3 A piece of fruit as dessert or before dessert Many of us love sweets. I definitely do. If you give someone the option of a fresh cup of fruit and a nice, warm brownie sundae, we know which one will be more tempting.

Fruit satisfies sweet cravings while also providing vitamins and fiber. Eat fruit before your dessert and you will probably eat much less dessert!

As you can see, healthier doesn’t always mean a loss of freedom or pleasure. There are ways you can eat the foods you like while easily adding more fruits and vegetables either before or after.

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About the Author Charles is a former NCAA student and professional basketball player. He was an athlete at Brigham Young University, where he received his bachelor’s degree in exercise and wellness.

REEN:

The Powerhouse of Plants

About the Author

By Wendy P. Thueson, MH

Wendy P. Thueson, M.H. is also known as Raw Chef Wendy. She is a professional Chef, Master Herbalist and Raw Food Lifestyle Coach. She suffered from chronic fatigue for 28 years, debilitating neck and back pain, brain fog, stuttering, and Grave’s disease, to name a few. After eating a high amount of raw foods and using herbs medicinally, she now lives symptom, pain and medication free. She educates all ages through hands-on classes, speaking, on television, radio and in magazines.

She is an author of several books and online programs and helps others learn how to create happier lives. Find her at www.rawchefwendy.com.

In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day March 17th, I’d like to help you discover what adding more green foods to your plate can do for your health. Plants are green because of the chlorophyll they contain, which has been described as the “life-blood of the plant” and “liquid sunshine” when juiced. After the green color is stripped away during the fall, other beta-carotenes are exposed underneath in beautiful hues of red, orange, yellow and even purple. These colors of leaves, fruits and vegetables along with green, act as sunblock for the plants so they don’t get burned in the direct sunlight. Humans and other mammals also benefit from this protection internally, so eat plenty of these colorful foods throughout the year.

Greens such as spinach act as protectants for the eyes because they contain luteins. These antioxidants are used by the body to manufacture carotenoid zeaxanthin, another antioxidant which also supports healthy vision and may improve macular degeneration.

Spinach contains beta-carotene as well as other phytochemicals, vitamins, minerals, and protein. It is very high in vitamin K which aids in the function of at least 12 proteins in the body. Vitamin K helps with the blood, bones, arterial walls and the brain, to name a few. It is also needed to help clot blood. The greener the plant, the higher amount of vitamin K is available so eat plenty of dark green vegetables.

Studies show that men and specifically women who eat a lot of vitamin K rich foods, especially spinach, have denser bones and fewer hip fractures. This may explain why spinach is the food of choice for Popeye.

Glutathione is considered “nature’s master antioxidant” which is contained in spinach along with alpha-lipoic acid. Glutathione is known for detoxifying pollutants and carcinogens, maintaining the function and health of the liver, and boosting the immune system. It also aids healthy cell replication and repairing of aged DNA. Chronic inflammation has also been known to be reduced by this antioxidant.

Yield: 1 cup Raw spinach is very healthy and is known for its anti-cancer properties, but cooking it is also very beneficial. The iron, betaIngredients: carotene, lutein, vitamins and minerals are actually more bioavailable 1 cup fresh basil leaves, packed in its cooked state.

1 cup fresh spinach leaves, packed Kale is another powerhouse that is known as one of the most 6 Tablespoons pine nuts (pecans or walnuts may be nutrient dense foods on the planet. It may also help fight off substituted) infection. Broccoli has been shown to be very beneficial for people 1 ½ - 2 cloves garlic, minced with lung disease and is even shaped like the lungs. The Doctrine 1 ½ teaspoon fresh lemon juice of Signatures suggests that fruits and vegetables are often shaped 3 Tablespoons nutritional yeast (for a cheesy flavor) like the areas in the body they help protect. This would be one of ¼ teaspoon sea salt those areas.

2-3 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil or vegetable broth As you can see, the color green, when it comes to food, is very high in nutrients and disease-fighting properties. It is also the color 3-4 Tablespoons water as needed of things that are alive, fresh and cleansing. Create a green day every Instructions: day of the year by adding plenty of this color to every meal. Your 1. In a food processor or blender, add all ingredients except body will thank you.

Spinach Pesto

The Color Code: A Revolutionary Eating Plan for Optimum Health by James A. Joseph, Ph.D., Daniel A. Nadeau, M.D., and Anne Underwood. pg 115.

1

oil and water.

2. Mix well, then add a stream of olive oil or vegetable broth and then water while mixing the ingredients until mixture is pourable like a sauce.

3. Taste and adjust flavors as needed.

4. Serve over vegetable pasta or other warm grain pasta as desired.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 21

Cedar Waxwing in Provo Canyon.

Spring Birdwatching in Utah Valley

By Pam and Jeff Hardy Wellness experts have long extolled the virtues of immersing oneself in the natural world. In Utah County the local lakes, rivers, and mountains afford numerous opportunities for recreation that provide the benefits of fresh air, exercise, and stress relief. One of our favorite outdoor activities is birdwatching (also called birding by the small but growing body of enthusiasts). Birdwatching combines appreciation for nature’s beauty and variety with the challenge of identifying different species based on visual, audible, and behavioral clues. With just a pair of hiking shoes, binoculars, and a printed field guide (try one by Sibley or National Geographic) or identification app (Audubon Bird Guide is free and quite helpful), you are ready to go.

You might be surprised to learn that over 300 species of wild birds have been observed in Utah County. Backyard plants and bird feeders attract numerous common species, such as House Finches and Black-chinned Hummingbirds. A variety of ducks, woodpeckers, hawks, and owls inhabit local parks, ponds, and fields. In the springtime, when many birds return to Utah to nest after wintering in About the Authors We live in Springville and Arizona or Central America, watch for love spending time outdoors. new arrivals such as Lazuli Buntings, When not birdwatching Western Kingbirds, Bullock’s Orioles, we can often be found rock Yellow Warblers, Tree Swallows, Blackclimbing, skiing, biking, necked Stilts, and Ospreys, along with hiking, golfing, or playing volleyball or tennis. colorful year-round residents like Cedar Waxwings and American Kestrels.

Some of our favorite spring birdwatching spots in and around Utah Valley incorporate hiking, biking, or even kayaking: the Spanish Fork River Trail, Utah Lake State Park, Rock Canyon, the Provo River Trail, Aspen Grove, and Lehi’s Powell Lake. Other good places to birdwatch (hotspots) can be found at www.ebird.com. You can even join a local fieldtrip led by the Utah County Birders group (see www.utahbirds.com/ucb for details). We think you will love spending some time birdwatching this spring—for us it is a great source of enjoyment and rejuvenation.

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F A M I LY W E L L N E S S

How to Talk to Your Teenager about Hard Things

By Alexis Lee, LAMFT Many parents bring their child in for therapy and express that they don’t know how to talk to them about things that are happening with their family (ex. divorce, depression of a family member). Also, I’ve heard from many teenagers that their parents haven’t talked to them about “awkward” topics, such as sex, pornography, dating, or even emotions. However, I have found that when parents have open communication with their children, children tend to be more emotionally healthy.

First, when it comes to talking about sex, pornography, or dating, one of the most common questions I get is, “How do I know what is age-appropriate?” The simple answer to that question is to start with the basics.

If the child asks more questions than answer those questions. I have found that if parents are unwilling to answer or feel awkward answering, their children will turn to other sources to get answers. Further, if the children see that the parents feel awkward talking about the subject, then the subject becomes taboo and they feel like they can’t talk with their parents in the future when they have questions.

Another thing to keep in mind when talking with your teenagers about sex is to use correct terms. The terms they usually hear are slang, but it is important for them to understand exactly what you are talking about and the easiest way to avoid confusion is to avoid slang. Further, if you start to get uncomfortable, take some deep breaths and remind yourself that its important for them to know from you. Some parents, mine included, have used books to help when talking to their child/teenager about maturation. Just make sure that you know what’s in the book. Read the book with them and answer their questions.

Second, when it comes to feelings, teenagers tend to have a lot of them. I have heard from parents that they are burnt out listening to the emotional rollercoaster, or that they don’t know how to react when they feel like their teenager’s emotions are silly, or they simply do not understand what their child is feeling because they, the

parent, are not good with emotions. It’s important to listen to teenagers and help them learn to regulate their own emotions.

I’ve found that most parents feel pressure to fix their teenager’s problems or to make their children happy. However, sometimes the best way to help them is to listen and then help them problem solve their own problems. For example, if they come to you emotionally distraught over being left out, it can be helpful to listen to their feelings, let them know that you are listening by repeating back a part of what they said, then ask them what they can do in the future when this happens (or ask what they need to do to feel better in this moment).

As a parent, many difficult conversations need to be had with your teenagers. It can feel overwhelming at times if you don’t know what to say or how to say it; but if you can push through, you will help your children learn valuable skills they need later in life.

You can help develop a relationship with your teenager of trust and openness that can help them safely navigate their way through those challenging teenage years.

About the Author Alexis (Lexi) Lee is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. Her specialties involve play therapy, family therapy, adjustment disorders and working with children/ adolescents. Originally from Arizona, Lexi earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Arizona State University and a Master of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from BYU.

Utah UtahValley ValleyHealth Health&&Wellness WellnessMagazine Magazine || March/April 2018 23

Have you ever felt exhausted and hopeless after a full hour (or more) of conversation with a loved one where no progress was made towards a resolution? Perhaps it turned into a big blow up and left you feeling hurt, unheard, misunderstood, or resentful?

I see this all the time in families, marriages, friendships, and the workplace. Individuals come together with the best intentions to reach a resolution, only to find that their efforts to discuss it make it much worse.

If people knew there was something they could do to reach About the Author through the conflict, to connect with the other person, to move Whitney is a licensed forward, I’m sure they would do it right away. associate marriage and family Many times we want to do the talking, the criticizing, the therapist and is a therapist pleading, or the controlling. As necessary as it is to express our at the American Fork Center feelings and point of view, healthy and effective communication for Couples and Families.

Whitney received a masters begins with an open heart and a willingness to listen. Listeners from BYU in Exercise Science tune into words as well as feelings. Most of communication is and a masters from California non-verbal; it is facial expressions and body language.

Lutheran University in Validation is not about giving up or giving into the other Counseling Psychology with person. It’s not about agreeing with them, resolving the conflict, an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Whitney was or manipulating them to sway them to agree with you. Validation an All-American runner in is about trying to understand and express acceptance of another track at BYU and is still an person’s emotional experience. It is a willingness to understand avid runner. She lives in Utah your partner’s (or child’s) perspective.

County with her husband and Validating feelings is vital to connecting with others. three children.

Validation communicates that the relationship is important, even though you may disagree on issues.

Validation can happen in one moment when you say that you understand another person’s feelings. That one moment of understanding is powerful and has the ability to change the course of your interaction.

The Power of Validation

By Whitney Hebbert, MS, LAMFT

3 Steps to Validate Someone 1. Change to a listening posture. Instead of trying to be heard and understood, try to listen to what the other person is saying with an attempt to grasp the feelings behind what they say.

2. Try to feel what the other person is feeling, especially if you do not agree with it. When you try to listen with the intention of understanding the other person, you open yourself up to be empathetic and compassionate and you allow yourself to try and see things from their perspective. In that moment, the person you care about feels heard, understood, and more important than the issue.

3. Tell the other person you understand why they would feel that way. You do not need to say, “You’re right,” or “I agree.” You just need to say that you understand.

When you give someone a moment of validation, you are accomplishing several things all at once. You are sending the message that the other person matters to you, you are connecting, and you are helping the other person open up to your point of view as well.

People who feel validated are much more open to the opinions of others. Once you have been able to validate the feelings of someone you care about, they will be far more able to hear what you have to say and imagine what you are feeling.

Validation has the power to turn a negative cycle into a positive one.

24 www.utvalleywellness.com

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Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | November/December 2017 25

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F A M I LY W E L L N E S S

Getting Rid of

By Kenneth Jeppesen, LMFT, MMFT

Old

Baggage

Just like packing winter-wear for a trip to Tahiti will make for a sweaty and miserable time on the beach, carrying baggage with us from past relationships can make it hard to fully enjoy new ones.

Baggage leads to fights and misunderstandings; it’s something that every one of us have because our brains are designed to physically change and rewire themselves based on our experiences. Any time we find ourselves in a new situation, we will try to use what we have already learned to deal with the challenges. We all learned ways to protect ourselves emotionally, and those can get in the way of building trust, intimacy and love.

What exactly is the baggage we carry around? It’s mostly expectations about how people will act and what those actions mean.

If our ex used to get quiet when they were angry, then when our new partner gets quiet, we will probably assume they’re angry as well. That can be a problem if we’ve developed a defensive reaction to anger like shutting down emotionally and withdrawing. It would make sense to pull away when our spouse was angry if staying close meant things escalated to verbal or physical violence. But does that behavior help us in the new relationship? What if our partner gets quiet when they are relaxing? What would it look like from their point of view if all of the sudden we pull away from them without an obvious reason?

They will likely feel hurt and confused, and those emotions mixed with misunderstanding can easily lead to a fight.

One Christmas I ordered a handmade gift for my wife.

Unfortunately, the item was stolen out of the maker’s car just before it was going to ship. I told my wife that there was a problem and her gift wouldn’t be here in time for Christmas. I couldn’t tell her details because she would have figured out what it was. I assumed it would

26 www.utvalleywellness.com

be a minor disappointment. But my wife’s baggage sparked a huge fight. When she About the Author was a child, her dad wouldn’t buy her Kenneth is a Licensed presents, he would take her to the mall on Marriage and Family Therapist at the American Christmas to pick out her own gifts. Her Fork Center for Couples and dad not expending the energy to buy gifts Families. He specializes in for her was a clear sign to her young mind couples therapy and also loves that she wasn’t valuable. So to her, the late to help people learn the tools gift meant her husband didn’t think she to live a powerful life and conquer depression, anxiety, mattered and that’s why the fight was so and addiction. intense.

How did my wife figure that out? She applied step one of getting rid of baggage: she had the courage to face, feel, and stick with the emotion until she found the beliefs and experiences that were underneath them. We can’t get rid of baggage until we are conscious that it exists, and that means being aware of our emotions. If we are willing to sit with the emotion, we will eventually find the message in it. It can be a healing experience when we let our partner help us. As quickly as we recognize that our emotions are starting to take over, we can say, “I feel unsafe right now, would you help me to figure out why?” If you’re both really upset, call a 20 minute time out first. Then you can begin a much different and much more helpful conversation.

Decide right now to become aware of your emotions on a much higher level. Decide to journal about your emotions and the thoughts, experiences, and beliefs that come with them. Being aware will give you the power to choose new responses and build the kind of relationship you have dreamed of.

Wired for Connection

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F A M I LY W E L L N E S S

The Brain and Relationships

By Kayla D. Mennenga, Ph.D., LAMFT

Humans are wired for connection. It’s how our brains are designed.

As we grow and learn, we have experiences that impact the way we think, feel, and interact with individuals and with the world around us. Life gets busy; we are stressed by so much happening in our lives, and there are distinct ways that this impacts our brains and our ability to connect with those close to us. As a marriage and family therapist, I hear common complaints about being stressed out and having a hard time connecting. The goal of therapy, then, is to create new experiences that allow for new interactions and experiences to take place.

One of the important concepts I like to educate clients about is that neurons (a type of cell) that fire together wire together; our brain cells communicate with one another. This means that as more neurons are simultaneously activated, they become more likely to fire together and create a linkage, or an exchange of energy and information. Every experience, thought, feeling, and sensation triggers thousands of neurons, forming a neural network. When you repeat an experience over and over, the brain learns to trigger the same neurons each time.

The more neurons that fire together, the more solidified the linkage.

Why does this matter? Having neurons that fire together can be beneficial; this process can allow for automatic responses or quick processing. It conserves energy and is an efficient way to process information. However, it can also be damaging. In relationships, if hurtful things happen continuously, neurons can fire together and create a negative association with a particular interaction or experience. This can often be hard for couples to break out of without the help of someone else.

How do we create new neural networks and pathways? Dr. Dan Siegel is an expert in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. He suggests that individuals develop the ability to monitor the energy and information flow in the body and in the relationship and then to be able to modify that flow of energy and information, a process he calls ‘mindsight’. When one is able to monitor information more clearly and with more specificity and strength, the more one is able

to promote empathy in relationships and a more resilient and creative mind.

Doing so allows an individual to be more emotionally available, sensitive, and compassionate toward others. Practicing About the Author Kayla Mennenga is a mindsight allows individuals to be more therapist at the Provo Center in tune with one another and allows for for Couples and Families. She each person to feel felt or understood by earned her Ph.D. at BYU and the other. is a licensed associate marriage In addition, one of the ways humans and family therapist. She specializes in working with express positive feelings and sooth each couples dealing with affairs, other is through touch. Gentle touch is trust, depression and anxiety safe, but it also activates the vagus nerve issues. Her interest is in and the orbitofrontal cortex, releasing emotional regulation and oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and how the brain, body, and relationships are all connected. endorphins and deactivates the amygdala, or fear center of the brain. Activating the vagus nerve enables caretaking behavior and compassion, and the orbitofrontal cortex is an important region in the brain molded by relational experiences and aids in the shaping of attachment and selfawareness. Touch nurtures the calm and connection system, increases oxytocin, and lowers defenses; thus, the couple bond is strengthened.

We are wired for connection, and every interaction we have solidifies the associations we have for those interactions. These can become deeply engrained, and often one or both individuals in the relationship feels stuck and discouraged about what to do next. While the process may take a while to create new experiences in order for neurons to fire together and wire together, the good news is that this can be done! We have the ability to create the new interactions, emotions, and experiences to change and enhance our overall happiness in relationships. Work on being more aware of yourself and of your spouse/partner and learning to activate those compassion and connection systems within in order to create the bond you yearn to have.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 27

SPONSORED BY

March January 16 – March 27 WIZARDS OF POP ART EXHIBIT Provo City Academy Square Library Come out and see the only traveling exhibit featuring pop-up book artists! Robert Sabuda and Matthew Rheinhart will be the featured artists. Get glimpses of the process these artists go through in creating their books with preliminary sketches, prototypes, collage artwork and more. Open Monday – Friday 3:30 PM to 9:00 PM. Admission is free.

January 17 - June 2 SPEAKING VOLUMES | TRANSFORMING HATE Springville Art Museum Speaking Volumes |Transforming Hate showcases the diverse work of more than thirty artists who have transformed thousands of controversial white supremacist books into uplifting works of art. This stunning exhibition challenges and moves visitors with its thought-provoking and occasionally light-hearted collection of artwork and provides honest opportunities to address discrimination in our communities and racism in America. The Springville Museum of Art is open Tuesday - Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm with extended hours until 9:00 pm on Wednesdays. Admission is free.

February 16 – April 14 THE LITTLE MERMAID Hale Center Theater A headstrong mermaid trades her beautiful voice for a pair of legs and a chance at true love. Based on the 1989 film (and the fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson) this Disney musical features songs, old and new, that will submerge fans, young and old, into an exciting adventure under the sea. For ticket information visit www.haletheater.org.

March 6, 13, 20, 27 7-8PM CREATE BETTER HEALTH Spanish Fork Library Join us as we learn to create a new healthy and delicious recipe each class. We will also talk about how to improve your nutrition and physical activity while sticking to a budget. Class is free. For more information visit CreateBetterHealth.usu.edu.

March 21, 7-9PM PARENTING THE LOVE AND LOGIC WAY® Saratoga Springs Library This FREE course teaches parents how to raise responsible kids and enjoy parenting.

Participants will learn how to end power struggles with their children, teach responsibility, and prevent arguments. Classes are free, but you must register to attend. Must be 18 or older.

More information at http://healthyrelationshipsutah.org/counties/utah.

March 24 ICE BREAKER SPRINT TRIATHLON American Fork The Icebreaker Triathlon is the un-official beginning of the TRI season in Utah! The race starts with a 300 meter pool swim followed by a 12 mile bike through beautiful American Fork, and finishes with a 5K run. Also included is a kid’s race; 100 meter pool swim, 5k bike and 1 mile run to immediately follow the main event. The Ice Breaker is USAT sanctioned event. Registration information at www.racetri.com/ice-breaker.

April April 3 LAWRENCE BROWNLEE, TENOR BYU Bravo Series The most in-demand American tenor in the world in the bel canto repertoire, Lawrence Brownlee continues to astonish audiences with the elegance and agility of his instrument.

From firmly American roots, Brownlee has become a star on the international opera and recital scenes, lauded for the seemingly effortless beauty of his voice. For ticket information visit arts.byu.edu.

April 28 TULIP FESTIVAL 5K Thanksgiving Point Spring at Thanksgiving Point means the Tulip Festival Race Series is finally here! Dust off your running shoes and come shake off the cobwebs of winter for our Tulip Festival races.

There’s the one-of-a-kind 5k that actually runs through the Tulip Festival and inside the Ashton Gardens. It’s a challenging race that is equally as beautiful. Come run with us this year! Registration information at www.thanksgivingpoint.org/events/tulip-festival-5k.

To learn about more Community Events, please visit www.thechamber.org 28 www.utvalleywellness.com

FEATURED DIRECTORY LISTINGS ATHLETIC SUPPLIES UVU Outdoor Adventure Center Student Life and Wellness Center, SL, 216 800 W University Pkwy Orem, UT 84058 www.uvu.edu/oac (801) 863-7052

BANKS Bank of American Fork www.bankaf.com (800) 815-2265

CITY & LOCAL Utah Valley Chamber of Commerce 111 S University Ave. Provo, UT 84601 www.thechamber.org (801) 851-2555

CORPORATE NETWORKING Corporate Alliance 746 East 1910 South # C2 Provo, UT 84606 www.corporatealliance.net (801) 434-8326

DENTAL Merkley Dental 777 N 500 W Provo, UT 84601 www.merkleydental.com (801) 374-8244 Utah Sleep Apnea Dentistry 686 E 110 S #201 American Fork, UT 84003 www.utahsleepapneadentistry.com (801) 756-7740

DIVORCE THERAPY Concordia Families 3507 N. University Ave., STE 350 Provo UT 84604 www.concordiafamilies.com (385) 309-1068

ENTERTAINMENT Bravo – BYU www.arts.byu.edu (801) 422-2981

FAMILY THERAPY Center for Couples and Families 3507 N University Ave. STE 350 Provo, UT 84604 (801) 477-0041 (offices in Provo, American Fork, and Spanish Fork)

FITNESS Kelli Bettridge www.level212.com (435) 559-4133 Travis Lott www.leantrition.com (801) 473-1887

HEALTH Howland Plastic Surgery 11762 State St #220 Draper, UT 84020 www.howlandplasticsurgery.com (801) 571-2020 Southwest Spine and Pain Center 320 W River Park Dr #255 Provo, UT 84604 www.southwestspineandpain.com (385) 203-0246 Xage Medical Spa 3650 N University Ave. #250 Provo, UT 84604 www.xagemedicalspa.com (801) 373-3376

INSURANCE Inside Insurance 2975 W Executive Parkway, STE 178 Lehi, UT 84043 www.insideinsurance.net (801) 361-2836

LGBTQ SERVICES

NUTRITION

Encircle 91 W 200 S Provo, UT 84601 www.encircletogether.org

Raw Chef Wendy www.rawchefwendy.com

REAL ESTATE

Flourish 91 W 200 S Provo, UT 84601 www.flourishfamilies.com (385) 309-1038

Coldwell Bankers: Monson Group 825 E 1180 S #300 American Fork, UT 84003 www.cbcadvisors.com (801) 702-4675 Home Basics Real Estate 383 N State St., STE 101 Orem, UT 84057 www.homebasicsrealestate.com (801) 830-1500

NEWS Daily Herald www.heraldextra.com

NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS Golf to Eradicate Cancer/ Huntsman Cancer Institute www.golftoeradicatecancer.org Habitat for Humanity 340 Orem Blvd.

Orem, UT 84058 www.habitatuc.org (801) 344-8527

TREATMENT CENTERS Choice Recovery 531 E 770 N Orem, UT 84097 www.choice-recovery.com (385) 309-1515

WELLNESS CENTERS

Project Read 550 N University Ave. Provo, UT 84601 www.projectreadutah.org (801) 852-6654

Advanced Wellness Center 205 N Main St. Spanish Fork, UT 84660 www.gethealthyutah.com (801) 798-2515

Share a Smile www.shareasmile.net (801) 477-6193

InBalance Wellness and Yoga 436 W. 800 N Orem, UT 84097 www.inbalancewellnesscenter.com (801) 691-1090

United Way 148 100 W Provo, UT 84601 www.unitedwayuc.org (801) 374-2588 Wasatch Adaptive Sports 9385 S. Snowbird Center Drive Snowbird, UT 84092 www.wasatchadaptivesports.org (801) 933-2188

EDUCATION UVU 800 W University Pkwy Orem, UT 84058 www.uvu.edu (801) 863-INFO (4636)

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 29

Safety, Connection, Competence A New Way to be Compassionate

By Michaelann Bradley

It seems like everywhere you turn these days, someone is talking about anxiety and depression in Utah. It’s a seriously troubling problem that’s left many of us heartbroken. Data gathered by the three Utah Valley school districts (Nebo, Alpine, and Provo) suggest that the number of kids who could be considered depressed is rising as much as 3-5% every year. That means that in 2011, about 13% of kids were depressed, and in 2017 it rose to 25%.1 One of the biggest things we all want to know is why? What’s causing this? What can we point to as the source of the problem?

Since I started directing United Way’s new initiative EveryDay Strong, which is focused on anxiety and depression, I’ve been in deep learning mode from some of our community’s best care providers, including Dr. Matt Swenson, child psychiatrist at Intermountain Healthcare.

Dr. Swenson tells me that when it comes to identifying what causes anxiety and depression, it’s complicated. We all want to put something in a category, but sometimes that’s not helpful. Being helpful and compassionate to a person with anxiety or depression is a lot more about identifying needs than identifying causes.

Here’s an example: when you’re facing someone you care about who’s in the middle of an asthma attack, a heart attack, or cancer, how helpful is that question about cause? If somebody tells you they’re having an asthma attack, do you say “How did you get that?” You don’t.

You say “Can I help? How can I help stabilize your breathing?”

In order to figure out what needs an anxious or depressed child might be lacking, there’s a helpful framework that Dr. Swenson taught me to use called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. You might remember this from high school or college Psych 101. The hierarchy lays out the idea that a person can’t focus on certain aspects of life until an underlying need is met. This is what it looks like:

Thrive

Here’s a familiar example: if you’re dying of hunger, it’s pretty difficult to think about making straight As. But it even goes beyond basic needs. For instance, if your ten-year-old doesn’t feel safe telling you crucial information about himself, do you think you’ll be able to have a real connection with him? Or what if your teenager knows that if she gets good grades, her peers will make fun of her? Which path is she likely to take?

A lot of parents believe that they’ve got to train and motivate their kid and use carrots and sticks to mold her into whatever she’s going to become or to “make” her behave a certain way. “If she would just try or just put her heart into it,” they think, “if I could just motivate her, then everything would be perfect.” But where does that break down?

When kids can’t.

Maslow’s pyramid tells us that just like a child who’s dying of hunger can’t think about becoming a classic pianist until he gets some food, a child who doesn’t feel safe, doesn’t feel connected, or doesn’t feel competent, can’t thrive and be on his best behavior until those needs are met. It’s not a matter of motivation.

What a person needs to be happy is the same as what they need to be resilient. It equals wellness. And it’s the beginning of overcoming anxiety, depression, and the other difficulties that so many of our children are going through.

I hope you will spend some time this week thinking about this pyramid. if I could magically wish something, I would wish for parents, on a daily or weekly basis, to look at their kids and ask themselves “how are my kids doing with safety, connection, competence? What can I do this week to help improve and facilitate their sense of safety, their connections, and their competence?” That is how you build resilience in kids. https://dsamh.utah.gov/data/sharp-student-use-reports/

1

United Way is on a mission to help every child in our community feels safe, competent and connected. To learn more, find us at www.everydaystrong.org, or on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

(achieve your potential)

About the Author Competence

(confidence, achievement, respect)

Connection

(friendship and love)

Safety

(stability, routine, security)

Physical Needs (food, water, rest)

30 www.utvalleywellness.com

Michaelann Bradley is the Director of United Way’s EveryDay Strong program, a new initiative to help anxiety and depression among youth. She has also spent many hours volunteering at the Utah County Suicide Crisis Line, at Utah Valley Hospital as a spiritual care volunteer, and at middle schools as motivational speaker. Her work experience encompasses a wide range of nonprofit management roles, including projects with former Provo Mayor John Curtis, Silicon Slopes, and Brigham Young University.

From Peru to Provo:

Designer integrates color into Utah Valley card and passport, fingerprinting and completing various The front covers and centerfolds of the Daily Herald's other documents. He had his final pre-citizenship interview Ticket section have been a lot more animated lately, and that is due, in part to the newspaper's lead designer, David Revilla. and test in October.

"I heard it [becoming a citizen] regularly takes only about Whether it's a Justice League or Star Wars illustration, or six to eight months, but with everything happening with the a splicing of art and photography, Revilla's master hand is behind it. He started with the Daily Herald two years ago as a country, things are taking longer," he said.

The swearing-in citizenship ceremony was "very cool, very graphic designer in the advertising department, but recently simple," he said, but very important to him. He was the first moved over to the editorial side of the building. And he's in his immediate family to become a U.S. citizen. During the brightened the newsroom in more than one ceremony he was slightly surprised that he was one way. of the younger ones there.

"I'm happy they are letting me introduce "There was one momy personal style into our everyday secment that was really tions. Illustration is what I really love to do. emotional ‌," he said. "I I get lost illustrating and drawing on the was very surprised how computer. I can do it for hours," he said. many people who were "That's where my passion really lives." over 65, and were just Revilla is quiet and intense when becoming citizens. There he's working on a cover or insert for even was a Nazi survivor the paper, but when he comes up for there that day from the air, he jumps on any chance to discuss Netherlands, I think. It gave pop culture, science fiction or other a nice tone to the ceremofandoms. His quick smile and even ny." quicker humorous quips lighten up the He said he feels changed newsroom as print deadlines creep since becoming a citizen. closer. From his artistic spin splash"It's very different being ing throughout the pages of the a resident and a citizen. It's newspaper, to the colorful tattoos huge," he said. "2020 marks symbolizing family members tracing the year when I can vote in a up his right arm, Revilla is full of presidential election, and my color. responsibility as an American is While growing up in Peru, Revilto lead by example. That's a neat la started illustrating and designresponsibility. ing at a very young age, spurred "Voting is important. It's your on by his grandfather. At age 17, voice. Voting is your voice being he was a semester into art school heard, your opinion being counted. in Lima, when his family made And people take it for granted," the decision to immigrate to the David R evil he said. "Just saying something United States. Sponsored by laughs d la, the lead des igner at u ring a po out loud is not it. Voting is how you his aunt and grandmother, the the Dail of the D r y Herald aily Her trait in the stud make change happen." family moved to Utah in 2010. , ald on T io at the Provo. hursday, offices Revilla married his wife, Valeria, in "Since I was still 17 when Jan. 18, 2018, in September, presided over by thenwe came here, I was made to Mayor John Curtis. The couple met as go to high school for senior teens in Peru, and weathered a longyear, to get a high school diploma," he term, long-distance relationship for said. He took English, history, government and a finanabout seven years. They live in American cial class to help him incorporate into the new culture.

Fork, and are going through the process towards citizenship After time at Utah Valley University to further his art edufor Valeria. His mother and father are also currently going cation, Revilla landed at the Daily Herald. Without the benefit through the citizen process. Due to the current political cliof immigration, this newspaper would lack the talented mate, they expect it to take even longer than his experience. designer that he is.

Revilla still visits family and friends in Peru, and said he reRevilla and his family left Peru because of its instability and ally misses the food. He doesn't miss Lima's traffic. violence. But it wasn't an overnight decision. It took Revilla "It is worse than California," he said with a laugh. and his family 12 years to get to America, and that was without his two older brothers, who are still petitioning to come.

"It is hard to get them here, we are still trying," he said.

Revilla, now 24, went a step further, and became a U.S. citizen Dec. 6. That process lasted almost a full year, itself, and included an application, documentation with his current green www.heraldextra.com www. heraldextra.com | Follow us:

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | March/April 2018 31

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