SEPTEMBER 2015
KARMA
Let’s Empower Each Other
What’s Going On (Senseless Police Brutality)
On The Cover: Recent High School Graduate ‘Diamond Smoot’ is ready for college
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! Amanda Goff 9/2 Trakilla Tribble 9/6 Aaron Mingo 9/7 Brandon Davis 9/11 Brooke Hall 9/16 Jeremy Goodson 9/20 Tangie Tangie 9/20 Brandon Jackson-Walker 9/20 Toria Lee 9/21 Joe Anslinger 9/22 Jevan Carthen 9/23 Di’Anda Putman 9/26 B Evoleno Hart 9/28
In This Issue of Candiland
Dear iCandi BucksWithBucks Music Reviews What WouldYou Do What’s Going On (Senseless Police Brutality) Great Moments from the Summer Karma- Tania Thomas Candi Ladies Series Returns Empower Each Other- MsiCandi
BUCKS with Bux
D
ear MsiCandi,
Can you continue to be friends with ones that are single, when you’re in a relationship/married? Do you think it’s harder for them to relate to your situations? Should married/attached couples mostly be friends with other married/attached couples?. ~Mrs. Roberton~ Heeeey Mrs. Roberton! Honey, as a single “unmarried” woman, I’m not sure how much my opinions matters. However, as a person that would consider myself an AMAZING friend, I will say that it is hurtful when someone you have been a great friend to distances themselves all of a sudden because they are now married or in a relationship. I understand that some people are secretly haters and don’t like seeing happy couples (friends included), but why would you even be friends with someone like that in the first place? I wouldn’t consider myself that type of friend. I love seeing my friends happy in relationships. It gives me hope that my soulmate is out there as well.
Most people struggle from day to day; they do recognize the bigger picture within. Figuring out the root of one’s money issues can truly help get you back on track and keep you going forward. As one person, you have to be willing to commit to change. You have to make some decisions if you are not happy with the stage in your life financially. Making these choices will lead you down your new path. Make budgets and stick to them. When you make a budget it allows you to keep track of your spending; therefore, you can make better goals for yourself. But know that all of this financial empowerment isn’t something that happens right away. It takes time and patience. Until next time, happy saving.
Now let’s talk married friends. This one personally hits home because I’ve noticed that at times married friends would rather hang out with other married couples. It’s kind of like you aren’t good enough anymore. Three is a crowd so I’m not trying to be up in my friends marriage, If I invite you out for a big event or host a family barbecue and invite you and your man, your husband, and/or your kids and you constantly make up reasons not to come out, then I notice a married friend/associate invites you out and you go, I’m going to feel hurt. So it’s understandable to want to be around other married couples, but don’t forget that you were once single and your single friends were there for you, so communicate and make time. Don’t neglect your friends. You never know when you might need them and besides, good friends are rare these days.
MsiCandi
This year #TeamBux raised $475 dollars for the MS Walk!! Be on the lookout for more info on how to join us during next year’s walk!
Meghan “Bux” Williams has been with the iCandi family since starting back in 2008. Bux graduated from the College of Mount St. Joseph in 2006 where she obtained a degree in both marketing and management. Bux is the Vice President and Marketing Coordinator for iCandi Productions. She has a go getter attitude that helps keeps iCandi going and going; with that she helps produce both iCandi After Dark and The Candi Bar. In her spare time, Bux helps with awareness and raising money to help find for a cure for Multiple Sclerosis.
J Antoinne’s Music Reviews
Jill Scott - Woman Blues Babes/Atlantic, 2015 Jill Scott is one of those rare musicians whose name evokes thoughts of greatness and excellence. Her name alone has always been looked in a positive light, especially musically, given that this is her fifth studio album. With this album, she continues the train of her last album, 2011’s The Light of the Sun. This album has a stellar mix of bass-bumping tunes and subtle, gentle melodies, all intertwining different genres of music effortlessly and fluidly. Generally, an album with different song tempos mixed can be seen as a detriment; however, each of these songs are so well-crafted that you’d forget that the album doesn’t read like a book. Check out the first single “Fool’s Gold”, which is an uptempo song that weaves a tale of finding love that didn’t turn out as it looked like it should have. You’ll be singing along by the end of the first chorus. Other standouts include the 70’s light-rockinfused “Run, Run, Run” and “Coming to You”, both of which meld the old-school sounds of yesteryear into a current concoction of awesomeness; the slower, winsome “You Don’t Know”; and the refreshing “Jahraymecofasola,” which is probably worth the album’s price all by itself, with its sinewy groove. This is definitely an album worth pressing play and just lounging around while listening. (4.75 Stars)(A+)
Tyrese - Black Rose Voltron, 2015 Tyrese’s first album in four years was released with fanfare and anticipation, as this is rumored to be his last album. This album sure fits the adage “save the best for last,” as this can arguably be his best album. It picks up where 2011’s Open Invitation left off, but turns things up a notch to make this a true “grown and sexy” album. This one isn’t for the kiddies, as evidenced by the song “Gonna Give You What You Need,” which opens with the line “baby, I just wanna leave it in/this is that leave it in music”, which is subtle enough to let you know what he means without being raunchy, but direct enough for you to get the point. The single “Shame” borrows part of Patti Labelle’s “Isn’t It A Shame” very well, while Tyrese coos in the forefront. Need something to bounce to? Look at the album’s first few songs, including “Dumb Sh*t” and “Addict”, telling a tale of someone with their head in the clouds over love, so much that they’re doing...well, dumb sh*t. Need some slower ballads? This album has plenty. “Without My Heart” is probably the best song on the album lyrically and production-wise, with its heartbeat rhythm and Tyrese cutting loose with his vocal ability. Also worth more than a few spins are “Don’t Wanna Look Back” featuring the wonderful Chrisette Michele and “The Rest of Our Lives” featuring the awesome Brandy; two great female artists that complement Tyrese’s soaring vocals each time. If this is indeed Tyrese’s last album, it’s certainly the way to go out with a bang. (5 Stars)(A+)
Chrisette Michele The Lyricists’ Opus (EP) Rich Hipster, 2014 Chrisette Michele is well-known for being musically eclectic, and this EP is further proof. Her musical consistency is epic; on her earlier albums, she effortlessly combines many genres of music, including rock, gospel, R&B, hip-hop, and even a little bit of country. Even though this EP only has five songs (plus an intro that pretty much describes the album), it’s aptly titled; this is indeed a genre-crossing opus that continually flows. From the hip-hop induced “Art” where she mentions different artists from different genres that combine to give her influence, to the rock-themed “Hennessy Shot” in which she compares her feelings to that of a shot of liquor, Chrisette has no limitations on what genre she can conquer. The single “Super Chris” has a bouncy, self-confident feel to it while “Together” borrows heavily from the slowed-down grooves of the 70’s (and seems to subtly pay homage to the O’Jays’ “Cry Together”). The album’s closer “Make Us One” does just that; brings this album together as it spans a few generations and genres of music. Push play, sit down, and enjoy. (5 Stars)(A+)
Jamie Foxx Hollywood: A Story of A Dozen Roses JB Venture/RCA, 2015 It’s been five years since Foxx’s last album, Best Night of My Life, so many people were wondering if he was focusing strictly on acting. This effort proves that Foxx still has the pipes to be considered a great singer. Even over thumping beats and bass-laden beats, he still uses his tenor to show that he shouldn’t only be considered a great actor. This album is sort of like a Peep This 2.0; although twenty years after the original, the subject matter and production are largely the same, just updated for the time periods. While this album doesn’t break any new ground, you won’t really care about that, seeing how the songs pretty much work. For instance, “You Changed Me” featuring Chris Brown tells a tale of a man that is giving up his player ways, all over an infectious beat that you’re sure to bounce to. How about “Tease”, which sounds familiar, but still has that clu/skating rink bounce groove to it that will make you dance, courtesy of Pharell Williams. Don’t fret; there’s definitely an ample amount of ballads to show you that Jamie still has the voice. Check out “Jumping Out the Window” or “In Love By Now”, the latter including an awesome piano background. Both tracks feature Jamie’s subtle tenor well, as does each of the “Dozen Roses” interludes, which should have been full songs. Some of the songs on this album sounds like things we’ve heard several times before, but overall this is still a pretty solid effort here. (4 Stars)(B+)
Ciara - Jackie Epic, 2015
Jackie is Ciara’s sixth studio album, and it pretty much carries the same plan as any of her albums since 2009’s Basic Instinct: dance music with a couple other themes thrown in for good measure. While her debut Goodies and sophomore Ciara: The Evolution had a solid mix of dance tracks and slower ballads, this album doesn’t have a single true ballad, save for the single “I Bet” and the closer “I Got You.” The former pretty much speaks on someone saying “you’re gonna change your mind once I’ve moved on from you.” The latter, written by Diane Warren, could prove to be a good single for Ciara should she choose to release it, as it shows off her improved vocals with some solid production. Aside from those, the rest of the album is pretty much standard Ciara fare. Granted, Ciara is certainly known for her dance moves and dance music, but a lot of this album sounds like stuff we’ve heard before or what we’ve always come to expect from Ciara. Some good points include “Jackie (BMF),” in which Ciara boldly proclaims how bad she is; “Kiss & Tell,” which seemingly pays homage to 80s R&B a la New Edition; and “That’s How I’m Feelin’” which sounds like an ode to the 90s, and includes appearances by Pitbull and Missy Elliott. While this album isn’t likely to largely increase Ciara’s stake in popularity, die-hard fans should enjoy it. (3.5 Stars)(C+)
Vivian Green - Vivid Make Noise, 2015 Vivid is Green’s fifth studio album, and first in three years. While she’s mainly trod under the radar of mainstream success, those who know her know her well, and those who don’t have missed out on some great music. Her most popular album was her debut Love Story, and of course she’s been often referenced as “that girl that sang ‘Emotional Rollercoaster’.” While her first two albums were largely solid R&B efforts, later albums found Vivian delving into other aspects of music with varying degrees of success: Beautiful was touted for its vocals and carefree feel but The Green Room was slammed for being too unlike the Vivian we’ve come to know. This album seems to be somewhere in the middle. Check out “Work,” which straddles the fence between coy and seductive and downright conceited, along with “All I Want Is You” featuring Raheem DeVaughn in his usual realistic flair. The latter half of the album is where the ballads are. While Vivian’s vocal register seems to have lowered a tad, she still uses what she has to convey a message. “Disrespectful” flows well, as Vivian lets her voice follow the music, and “Just Like Fools” brings back the old Vivian and will definitely have you listening a couple times. Even the self-aware “Count Your Blessings” has a great flow and feel to it, aided by the relatively-unknown Treena Ferebee. Maybe not Viv’s best work, but it’s worth a listen. (3.5 Stars)(C+)
Don’t miss this! Throwback albums you probably don’t have (but should)
Donell Jones (Journey of A Gemini) Arguably his best album, this album features a wonderful mix of thumping grooves and sweet and slow grown and sexy music, with real-life drama and issues thrown in.
Color Me Badd (Time and Chance) While these guys were known as pop phenomenons, this is their most complete album that really showcases stellar lyrics and great R&B sounds.
“Where there’s life, there’s music”~J. Antoinne~iCandi Productions
WHAT WOULD YOU DO #WWYD
You are driving your car and all of a sudden a cop comes up behind you and flashes his lights. What is the first thing that goes through your head?
Call somebody. This may be my last few minutes of life. ~Carl Mitchem~
“He is gonna shoot me for no reason” ~Emily Colleen~
“The way my color set up and they way America set up I’m thinking is today the day I become a hashtag” ~Tiffany McDaniel Williams~ “Hello 911 (what’s your emergency?) I’m black and being pulled over, I want it recorded.” ~Jasmine Burno~
“After I mentally prepare myself to engage in a convo with a potentially life threatening authority figure, I then turn my attention to wondering if they can smell the Crown on my breath & hoping for a hot chic cop. Lol” ~Chris Paul~
What’s Going On Senseless Police Brutality This brutality and senseless killing that is being tolerated must stop. I know the reaction in the community is “this is about ‘color’”, but I believe it is much more HUMAN than that. I think poor judgment, lack of training, and stupidity caused this and many other tragic losses of life at the hands of officers. I see a boy in that officer. I do not see a man big enough to have that responsibility. I believe as a whole we need to change. We need to see past the “norms” of bad and get to the evil. The evil is non-law-abiding citizens, corrupted police, untrustworthy government, and superficial differences. I am begging you for a change. I am standing for change.
“It must be a good reason he’s pulling me over. I don’t fear the cops even with the recent occurrences that we’ve all seen. I’m a good law abiding citizen with nothing to hide. Even when I drove my tinted out Benz with rims, I never got pulled over and if I did I still wouldn’t have any type of fear. It’s all in how you present yourself. There are certain people that carries themselves in such a manner that demands respect.” ~Victor Phillips~
“Awww fuck!” ~Carrine Hanson~
“Smh.... no said nothing about their kids and doing what it takes to go home....” ~Ramone Garrett~
“Was i speeding???” ~Kiara Mz Diva~
All of this, and I’m white. PEACE OUT!! Why do I feel so out in left field? My name is Lisa; I am a wife, a mother, and a home owner inside the city limits of Dayton, Ohio. I am a high school dropout who, at 31, went and obtained a GED, went to college, and practiced as a registered dental hygienist. I’ve been arrested and done my share of ducking; I’ve been homeless, jobless, and penniless. I’ve worked a 12-step program once or twice and I’m old, 45. Now, I do not break the law on purpose, though on occasion I’m sure I do, but when those sirens sound and lights flash my heart drops and I immediately want to vomit. I would no more tell an officer no than jump off a bridge. I would not state my rights or question his/her authority. I would not want to inflame the situation. Remember I pulled over for him. I have fear of police for two reasons: their authority and my freedom. I understand he/she is just waiting on me to give them a reason.
o M
s t n e m
E H T M O R E R F MM SU
t a e r G
Congratulations to our girl
Mrs. Fantasia Taylor!
That’s right she’s married now! Fantasia has finally found her prince. We at iCandi couldn’t be happier for this union and we wish Mr. & Mrs. Kendall Taylor nothing but the best! If you haven’t made the time to see the new hit movie “Straight Outta Compton”, what are you waiting for? Regardless if you grew up in that era or not this movie s a must see. From amazing acting to the clever directing, this movie will not disappoint. Head to your local movie theater ASAP.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE AT: WWW.ICANDIPRO.COM
Written by: Tania Thomas Most people are very aware of the word karma and throw it around like it’s a fad or makes them feel educated, or sound like they have some substance. The sad thing is we use it so much but the core principles often aren’t put into place. Karma in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is defined as “the force generated by a person’s actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person next existence.” What does this mean to you as a person living everyday life? It means, plain and simple, that what you put into the world is what you’re going to get out of it. If you promote positivity you will receive positivity. If you support evil you will receive evil. We create our own destiny through our own thoughts and actions. It’s very simple to understand but many make it complicated. It’s like I often say “You cannot walk straight if you are thinking crooked.” I have been asked many times if karma is what you create then explain why so many Christian, do-good people who do nothing evil in life or who don’t indulge in bad behavior have some of the same struggles and issues as many who promote bad/evil experience? Simple answer: you’re truly a special person. Many don’t understand their path in life and if you aren’t given a challenge to overcome, how will you inspire change in others? How do you learn that what you did or doing works for your life?
Certain trials and challenges are not always all about YOU. Example: I have a close friend that had been raped as a young girl; she lived right, attended church, helped with the homeless, and was very obedient in her life. She was not perfect but lived to help others, and she was raped and all her innocence was stripped right from under her. For some reason she kept moving and didn’t let it break her; she remained positive. This young girl often felt like maybe it was something she did or maybe it was normal due to the many close encounters she came into, but she continued living. While she lived, she mentored many young women who also had been sexually abused but were broken and not able to get over their tragic incident. This young lady was able to share her story with them and they often looked up to her and felt her power and strength. They became empowered and motivated. That was a tool that God blessed her with; through her tragedy she now has the ability to instill growth in others and let them know they are not alone. Tragedy doesn’t mean your life is over; it’s just beginning. The key is to find your strength to overcome. I truly believe that our lives are lessons/examples to provide insight and gain knowledge. Everyone has their individual path, but we all have an inner spirit that moves us to pay attention to our surroundings.
When you have that moment when you can’t help but to be nosey or inquisitive, that is created for a reason; to stay in the tune with life. Karma is just that; being in tune, knowing right from wrong, and guiding your path. If you want greatness then that is what you will have if you also provide greatness to the world. If you walk around saying, “I will go give a quarter to a homeless person” and think you are going to be blessed, you’re wrong. You have to own and live the good you put out into the universe in order to receive it back! We must internalize what we want out of life and become our path. Start being your best cheerleader; believe in yourself and so will everyone else. Embrace the concept that you must develop better relationships and habits. Once you move into a positive place in your life the karma you create is natural and will sprout and pour into the depths of your life. This leads you on your path that only having faith can take you. It is important to ensure that you do not allow your journey to overshadow your destination. We sometimes get caught up in our roadblocks and become stagnant; use them as a stepping stone to move up and onto the next level. Karma will be your strength to endure and faith that you didn’t give up; keep good karma in your spirit.
Karma eliminates excuses and doesn’t allow you to become a victim. Everything in life is a lesson and/or a choice; the paths of our life are created by the choices we make. It’s not easy to accomplish but it is simple to follow. Live right by being morally sound, respecting others, and remaining honest no matter what comes your way. Keep a solid foundation. Honesty creates trust and trust will help you remain faithful to living right. Karma is part of life’s journey so take it seriously, because if you don’t, you have already placed a roadblock in your path. (Karma) Do what’s in your soul, colorful and bold Dream with your mind over and over in time Become the fruit of your work and taste it straight from the dirt Don’t allow others to insert or skip the meal and go for dessert Take the time to use your mind and let your true soul take control Continue on your journey and find rapture as life continues to unveil You will live a life full of Happiness by just keeping it Real…
Tania Thomas
IS BAAAAACK! Candace Bishop “The Boss”
Short Story Series Written By Melissa Howe
I was deep in thought, staring at my computer screen, when a knock sounded at my door. Before I could respond it opened and Charlotte walked into my office. She was carrying a vase full of the most beautiful red roses I had ever seen.
We spent the next hour composing a press release about the ball and the amount of money raised. Bethany eventually left to go to her own office where Jeremy could help her plan the check giving event. As I was gathering my things to leave for the day my intercom buzzed.
“Oh goodness, how beautiful! Who sent them?” I exclaimed, getting out of my chair and meeting her in the middle of the room. I took the flowers from her and inhaled their fragrance. I sat them down on the corner of my desk and looked for a card.
“Ma’m, Mr. Marlonson is on line one. He insisted on speaking to you immediately.” Charlotte’s voice came over the speaker. I knew there was no way he could have found out the numbers from the ball already so I was curious as to what he could possibly want.
“They did not come with a card. The man who delivered them did not have the name of the person who purchased them in his information.” Charlotte sounded put out. There wasn’t much she wasn’t able to find out. Not knowing the name of my mysterious flower sender would be bother her until she found out.
“Thank you, Charlotte. I’ll take it and then I’ll be leaving for the day.” I answered her and picked up the phone.
“A mysterious admirer?” I smiled to myself. I caressed the petals of a perfect rose while allowing my mind to drift to imagined romantic sequences where a handsome man confessed his undying love and we faced our future together. “Will there be anything else?” Charlotte asked from the doorway. “No thank you, Charlotte. Though if any handsome mystery men show up make sure to let them in right away.” I made myself leave the flowers and go back to my computer. There was work that needed to be done. Several hours later my office door flew open and Bethany came bursting in. I was on the phone with one a potential sponsor and I motioned for her to be silent. She nodded and started pacing back and forth in front of my desk. Charlotte pulled my office door closed with a look of consternation; Bethany always managed to frazzle her with her lack of proper protocol when it came to entering my office. “We definitely appreciate all of your business, Sandy. I’m so glad to welcome you to the iCandi family! If you have any questions don’t hesitate to call me.” I ended the conversation as quickly and politely as I could.
Candace Bishop
“This is Candance Bishop.” I spoke professionally, trying to keep the curiousity and surprise from my voice. “Did you get the roses?” Eric Marlonson’s breathy voice filled my ear. I glanced over at the roses that had made me smile all day and I faltered.
“Well, we just landed another huge sponsor. What was so important that you nearly sent Charlotte into a heart attack so that you could attempt to rip my door from its hinges?” I asked, leaning back in my chair and propping my feet up on the edge of the desk.
“Don’t keep me in suspense girl!” I rose from my seat in anticipation.
“I think we should discuss the roses first.” Bethany plopped into one of the chairs in front of my desk and fixed me with her best detective glare.
“We crushed it! That’s the most that I’ve ever heard of being raised in one night!” I stopped jumping and just smiled at my best friend while she glowed with happiness.
“They arrived this morning. They didn’t come with a card and even Charlotte couldn’t find out where they came from,” I answered. I gazed at the beautiful roses. All day I had been stealing glances at them and smiling like a teenager. “Interesting. What if they are from some serial stalker?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow. I laughed. “Well, this is the most romance I’ve seen in a while so I’ll take it,” I joked. She shook her head. “I came tearing your door off of the hinges because they finally brought me the final numbers!” She was back up and pacing, nearly giddy.
“$3,025,000!!!” She screamed and started jumping around. I rushed around my desk to jump with her while we squealed with excitement.
“I know! Imagine what they will be able to do with that money!” She finally stopped jumped and I grabbed her into a tight hug. “One day we are going to find a cure.” I said seriously. I meant it with every fiber of my being. Watching my best friend deal with MS was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to see her completely healed. “Or die trying.” She smiled at me.
“Yes.” I waited for him to come out with what he wanted. I refused to be baited into giving him any satisfaction that I had enjoyed his gift. “You know, it’s customary for someone who has received a gift to thank the person who gave the gift.” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for the roses, Mr. Marlonson.” I replied in monotone. I heard a small sigh. “I was attempting to soften you up before we spoke. Apparently my efforts were not successful,” he said. “And what exactly would you need to soften me up for?” I asked. I preferred to get this conversation over with. Eric Marlonson only wanted to strip me of my business and I did not want to waste any of my time on him. “I wanted you a little more amiable when I called to apologize. My behavior at your ball was deplorable. I never should have tried to coerce you into selling your business by using your daughters against you.
It was boar-like behavior and definitely not like the gentleman I consider myself to be. I beg for your forgiveness.” Eric breathed this out in almost one breath, like he had been practicing for some time and was dreading the moment he would be required to say it. What struck me was the fact that even though he rushed it I picked up a note of sincerity in his voice. “Thank you, Mr. Marlonson. Your apology is accepted. Is that all you needed?” I forced myself to sound bored, like his apology meant nothing to me and I was simply ready to get on with my day. “I know you don’t have any reason to believe me, Candace, but I do mean it. I am sorry for what I did and what I said. I was angry. I had meant to crush you and all of my efforts crumbled at my feet. You bested me and I wanted to strike out at you, to hurt you in any way I could. For that I am truly sorry.” Eric’s voice was quiet and serious. As much as I wanted to just slam the phone down in his ear I believed him. I believed every word he said and even more surprisingly I did forgive him. I even understood where he was coming from. “Like I said, I do accept your apology. We all have moments we are not proud of.” I answered, unsure of what else to say. The last person in the world I needed to gush to was Eric Marlonson. He was the last person in the world I wanted to understand or have understand me. “I won’t keep you. Have a good night, Candace.” I heard a click in my ear but I couldn’t bring myself to put the phone down for another minute. Eric had thrown me for a loop I had not been expecting and had no clue how to navigate. After finally dragging my eyes away from the phone I grabbed my things and rose to leave. My eyes fell onto the roses and I reached out to touch them. Before I could stop myself the image of his body pressed to mine on the dancefloor flashed into my head. I wondered if his lips would be as soft as the petals beneath my fingers. At this thought I grabbed the vase and tossed it into the trashcan. I could not allow my nemesis to affect me in any way. I would never allow him to win. I left my office without glancing back and headed home to my girls.
Let’s Empower Each Other Written by: MsiCandi
We at iCandi have been on the women’s empowerment kick. I decided to do this after observing relationships of women and even more recent personal experiences, I’ve realized that a lot of women don’t want to see each other win. It’s always a competition for something. Instead of working together and uplifting each other, women are stabbing each other in the back, stealing jobs (gigs), boyfriends, gossiping about each other, and throwing each other under the bus. Why? Why do we feel the need to hurt or watch another woman hurt instead of help her celebrate a win? Are we that selfish and self-absorbed that we can’t stand to watch another sister be happy? I know some of my readers are not like that, but we all need to really take a closer look in the mirror at some of our behaviors. I have even checked my damn self about this. Let me list a few examples of the way we as women might hate on other women and not even realize it Relationships: I was having a conversation recently with a friend and was asking her why do a lot of “sisterhoods” fall apart. Her response shocked me but it made me think.. “Women will find a new d&%$ and act brand new.”
Now y’all know I was thinking “Whoa, why that hate? Be happy that your friend has found a man and is happy!” But when she broke her answer, it actually made a lot of sense.
Let’s say you and your sisterhood circle get together twice a month for “Ladies Night.” If you are ever going through hard times, whether it be physically, emotionally, or financially, who do you call? You sisterhood circle. The bottom line is, your girlfriends have your back. They have been there. Woke up out of the middle of the night to come let you cry on their shoulders, feed you and your children when you couldn’t afford to, gotten in physical fights for you. They have your front, back and both sides. True “Ride or Dies.” But you meet a nice young man. Nothing wrong with that right? Your girlfriends should want to see you happy. I agree with that. If they are your true friends then they should definitely want to see you happy. But let’s say while you are in LaLa Land one of your girls really needs you. One of her children are really sick, or maybe she just got fired from her job. She’s really going through it and when she calls you, you send her straight to voicemail. She leaves you a voicemail but you don’t check it. She texts you to call her asap and you turn your phone off because at that moment you are spending quality time with your boo. At the end of the day, you forget about her call, don’t return it and leave her feeling a certain kind of way. If this is a rare thing and you up and call her the next day then it’s forgivable, but that’s not the case. This behavior happens every time you get yourself a new man. You completely neglect the people that are always there. If things don’t work out, they are always there to help you pick up the pieces, but when it’s your turn to do that same, you are “too busy”, or you say “me and bae are going out tonight.” It might sound like your friends are a little jealous but truthfully they are just tired of a one-sided friendship.
WE need to learn how to balance relationships and our friendships. Just like the women with children (single mothers) shouldn’t neglect their children because they have themselves a new boo, you shouldn’t neglect your friends; they might really need you. It wouldn’t hurt to excuse yourself really quick to answer the phone. If it’s not an emergency tell your friend that you will call her back soon. We have to realize that the world does not revolve around us and our lives and we need to be there for others as well. What happens after this friend feels neglected and gain a new found attitude? Then we think, “they are just jealous.” We distance ourselves from our friends and boom, what happened to that sisterhood? What happens if you need your Ride or Die again? You can’t just pop back up because YOU need her. Where were you when she needed you? Cattiness: Come on ladies! Stop it with all the gossiping. I personally had to realize that although I’m not the gossiping friend, I will listen to some juicy gossip. I never really noticed that I was just at fault until a couple years ago: I had just relocated back to my hometown of Cincinnati, OH from Jacksonville, FL, and was riding around with a friend getting caught up on what’s been going on. This particular friend (former) was a pretty big gossiper but not about outsiders, but about people close to her. She proceeded to imply that a very close friend of ours was trying to flirt with her husband. This caught me off-guard because that just wasn’t in our friend’s character, and she was going on and on about how shady our friend was. MY friend.
At that moment a light bulb went off. I could continue to gossip about a friend or I could shut it down; I decided to shut it down. I told her that I would not participate in slandering our good friend’s name. If she really thought this was going on, we could call her right then and there, go over to her house to sit down and talk, or she could tell it to someone else. Of course she just changed the subject and didn’t want to deal with it, which made me believe it was all BS anyway. If someone I knew was testing my man, they’d definitely hear from me. But why would someone make up things like that about another woman? A woman who you consider a friend nonetheless? We as women must do better with checking each other. If you see me doing wrong, pull me in. Get me together. All in the name of sisterhood love. If you see me out here winning, celebrate with me; don’t bash me or hate. Give me a high five. Uplift me! Encourage me! I will do the same. Women are truly amazing people and we can get a lot more done out here together than apart. Now before I wrap this up let me say this: I am in no way saying that we don’t need men and let’s do this with out them, or bash the fellas. Y’all know I love men. So as we are uplifting each other and getting US together we still need to encourage and uplift our men. Women are amazing multitaskers so this shouldn’t be hard for us. Until next time candi babies, be blessed and keep it icandilicious
On The Cover: Congratulations to Diiamond Smoot. We met Diiamond at the #CandiGirlsRock Women’s Empowerment Conference.
Thanks to all that came out and supported our 1st Annual Candi Girl’s Rock Event. The event turned out to be a big success. From our entertainers, speakers, and beautiful guests, it was powerful. A lot of net working was done and some new friendships made. Be sure to stay connected with iCandi for the 2nd Women’s Empowerment Coming Spring 2016
Diiamond was a high school senior wrapping up her final year. A couple members of the iCandi Glam squad got with Diiamond to help make her fabulous for her prom. We are extremely proud of Diiamond. We want to wish her well at the University of Cincinnati as she majors in Social Work! You Go Girl! #CandiGirlsRock
Recipes to Try
With the fall season around the corner. Lots more people will begin to host more dinner parties. I personally am a huge fan of The Crock Pot. You can slowly cook amazing dishes while running around doing errands, cleaning the house, at work, etc. This month let’s break out the crock pot and try a few of these delicious recipes.
Crockpot Orange Chicken Ingredients
4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, thawed ¾ cup Smuckers Sweet Orange Marmalade ¾ cup of Sweet Baby Ray’s Original BBQ Sauce 2 tbsp. Soy Sauce
Instructions
Cook chicken in crockpot on HIGH for 3 hours {covered} After 3 hours, drain juices from crockpot At this point… you can either leave the chicken breasts whole, or remove, cut into cubes, and transfer back to crockpot. Mix together bbq sauce, orange marmalade, and soy sauce. Pour mixture over chicken, and cook on high for 30 more minutes {covered}
Crockpot Hot Fudge Cake Ingredients
1 box Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge Cake {15.25 oz.} 1 box Jell-O Chocolate Instant Pudding Mix {3.9 oz.} 4 eggs ⅔ cup Sour Cream ¾ cup Canola Oil or Vegetable Oil 1 jar Smucker’s Hot Fudge Sauce
Instructions
In medium mixing bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, sour cream, and oil for 2 minutes. Spray crockpot with non-stick cooking spray, then transfer mixture into crockpot. Cook on High for 1.5 hours, or until done. Once done, remove lid from crockpot and spoon out portions of this ooey-gooey deliciousness into bowls. Drizzle each portion with Hot Fudge Sauce after you’ve transferred to a bowl, and serve hot with a side of ice cream. YUM!!!