March 2014
Candi Ladies The Series Continues
Loving Yourself & Others
6
Men that women should avoid
In This Issue of iCandiland Music & Entertainment Birthday ShoutOuts Music Review by J. Antoinne Bucks with BUX (Black History) Recipe of The Month Short Story Series Candi Ladies Sex & Advice Dear iCandi Question Loving Yourself This Year 6 Men That Women Should Avoid
BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUTS!!!
We are sending extra birthday love to all of our March babies in Candiland! Be Blessed Candies & Enjoy your days!
Visit us online at www.icandipro.com
D
ear MsiCandi,
I am a newly wed. We’ve been married for 7 months. This year I claimed head of household (because I made the most) and claimed our children. We won’t be getting any of the 8 thousand plus dollars back because of back child support for his 8 year old daughter. This really sets us back because we were planning on purchasing a 2nd car but now that money is gone. I really don’t know how to feel about this. I understand that’s his daughter and he needs to get caught up on his child support but it’s not fair that my children have to get shafted as well. He tried to reason with his ex to give us half back but she’s not having any of that. Has this ever happened to any of your other listeners. How do you think you would handle this situation from hear on out. ~Latrice~ Girl I can’t even imagine what went through your head when all of that money was gone. Initially I would have very very salty and anger might have even set in. But after you calm down and look at it, its just money. And its money that was your husband’s debt. When you marry someone their problems become your problems. I would try to put myself in the mother’s shoes. I know not all mothers are the same but as a single mother that works very hard to provide for my daughter. If I were to receive money that was owed to my household to help provide for my child’s needs I wouldn’t give half of it back to nobody. If she actually received the money them I’m assuming that she’s not on Govt assistance because they didn’t take the money themselves. So that money is hers to do whatever she pleases (and hopefully that will benefit the child). For you its unfortunate because you have children yourself but I would have hoped he was honest before you married him an knew of his child support debt. If he wasn’t honest then you have yourself another situation to address. As for where should you go from here, there are options. #1 is to file an injured spouse allocation form to request the refund. They “might” give you a portion of your money back. #2 Chalk it up as helping get your husband’s financial issues in order. You guys are married and are “ONE” now so it needs to be handled anyway. Take it as a lesson learned and you’ll know how to file next year. Hopefully you are able to work through this because while she got the check, you have a husband that comes home every day and your children give to have this 2 family household while your bonus/step daughter doesn’t get to see that every day. So try to reason and do what’s best for all of they children involved. Good luck to you and your family.
MsiCandi
J. Antoinne’s Music Review J. Holiday - Guilty Conscience HMg, 2014 It’s been five years since we’ve had a full album out from J. Holiday, but he hasn’t been away from the scene completely. While over the past couple of years he has teased us with a song released here and there, it’s good to know that he hasn’t lost his touch. This album is a good mix of uptempo songs and ballads, with a tad bit more mature subject matter than we’re used to from him, as apparent on songs like “After We” and “Ms. Get Around”. The opener “Incredible” has an infectious beat that Holiday lets his tenor glide all over, and “Home Wrecker” has that bass that bumps enough to make you forget a couple of the song’s missteps. However, the slower fare has Holiday shining, with the title track, “Heaven”, and “Where Are You Now” giving him a chance to flex his vocal cords. Hopefully he doesn’t take too long to whet our appetites for his music again. (4 Stars)(B+)
Toni Braxton & Babyface - Love, Marriage, and Divorce 10 Spot, 2014 Babyface took Toni Braxton to the top of the charts back in the 90s, so it seems only fitting that the two would collaborate on an album much like the duet era of the 60s, 70s, and 80s (think Marvin and Tammi, Peabo and Roberta, Johnny and Stacy, etc.) That said, these two give a fresh, current spin on those duets of yesteryear. Their voices sounds as crisp as ever, as apparent on “Sweat”, an ode to working out tensions in the bedroom. “Where Did We Go Wrong” has each teasing us with their upper registers and falsettos; “I Wish” is probably the best song on the album, with Toni cooing the sorrows of a scorned lover, and “The D Word” flows well, spinning the tale of divorce. This album is definitely a step in the right direction for both of these artists. (4.75 Stars)(A+)
Ruben Studdard - Unconditional Love Verve, 2014 Studdard is best known as the winner of the second season of American Idol, yet his fame has never seemed to reach the heights of those of his AI counterparts, such as Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, or Fantasia. That said, he is strictly known for his voice, and that’s exactly what you’ll get on this album. This is probably his best album to date, and probably would have been the one to catapult him into superstardom had he released it after his Idol win. He effortlessly takes standards and makes them his own, like Donny Hathaway’s “Love, Love, Love” and even borrows Hathaway’s daughter Lalah on the sweet sounds of “If This World Were Mine”. Studdard doesn’t stop there, bellowing The Carpenters’ classic “(They Long to Be) Close to You” and Bonnie Raitt’s classic “I Can’t Make You Love Me” with relative ease, as if it were he that originally released these songs. If only this album had come out ten years ago, who knows where he would be now. (4.5 Stars)(A)
“Where there’s life, there’s music” ~J. Antoinne~ iCandi Productions
Beyoncé - Beyoncé Sony, 2013
Algebra Blessett - Recovery Entertainment One, 2014
The former front-woman of supergroup Destiny’s Child and current spouse of the Jay-Z has released her fifth studio album, self-titled as it is. Based on her previous albums’ content, one can wonder if this is the Beyoncé that we have heard before or some manufactured carbon copy, a la Rihanna. This album is definitely not for the kiddies, with its over-the-top sex themes (the accompanied videos for each song exemplify just that) and mature content. “Rocket” and “Partition” are raunchy un-Beyoncé-like songs, as are “Blow” and the growly “Drunk In Love”, the latter seemingly showing how Beyoncé’s voice isn’t as high-timbred as it once was. However, highlights include “Superpower” with Frank Ocean, and the closing numbers “Heaven” (probably the best song on the album) and “Blue” featuring her daughter. While fans will sop this album up, and Beyoncé’s harmonies and production seem intact, skeptics may just have to wait and see if the next album will bring back the Beyoncé we’re used to. (3 Stars)(C)
Algebra Blessett is someone who has always been flying under the radar of mainstream successful. That’s not to say that she’s not been successful, just not a household name. That’s sad though, because lots of people are genuinely missing out on good music. Much like her critically acclaimed debut album Purpose, which was released back in 2008, she lets her voice do the talking for her. From trying to get over a lost love in “Exordium to Recovery” and “Augment to Recovery” (both of which contain some amazing harmonies), to “Struggle to Be” featuring 112’s Q, Blessett doesn’t overdo any song vocally, but still conveys a richness that seems well beyond her years. It’s as if she’s got a 1950’s bluesy soul voice hidden in her that still remains current enough to be heard. If only more people took notice. (4.75 Stars)(A+)
@iCandiPro
Budgeting
Bucks with BUX Why is Black History important? We as African Americans have come so far and it is good to know where we came from and what we stand for. Even though Black History month was in February, let’s continue to learn and inform ourselves. I feel you should always have black history around and there are ways you can have it without going broke. Here are some websites you can buy art/posters at discounted prices. http://www.blackartdepot.com/blackhistoryart.htm, http://www.discountpostersale.com/p252025/Famous-Americans---Black-History-1. html. It’s very important to know the history and background; we must never forget.
Loving Yourself This Year
Happy New Year and welcome to another year of women hoping and preying (yes, I wanted to say preying not praying) for a MAN. I am here to change the world for women we are waking up in 2014 if it kills me. We will wake up as Women, Mothers, Wives, Sisters, and Friends; “we gone learn today (in my Kevin Hart voice)!! I can only keep it real and I know that I always try to be gentle when I have to check you, but it’s time for Ms. Reese to take off the gloves because we need to turn this ratchet mentality around ASAP! I hope you are having a wonderful start to your year, but I need you to do one thing and that is STOP looking and talking about getting a man this year. I am focusing on the women in this article, and it is time that we work solely on ourselves and get on the grind and make a good foundation for ourselves so that someone of substance will want to join your team. We as women have sold out long enough. It’s getting old ladies; all we care about these days is presenting to the world that we are sexy. What is sexy? Do you even have a clue? Do you realize that having all your clothes on, showing no skin at all, is ten times sexier to a man than being naked? Yes, it is, but you have to be able to pull that off. It’s called confidence and self-esteem. If you present everything you have to everyone, what is left for them to personally get to know about you? One thing they recognize from the start is that you fit the mold of all the other thousands of women trying to lock down a man. Why do you want to look like everyone else? Let’s start by standing out; be different don’t fit the MOLD all the time! FLAWS, FIND PEACE IN YOUR SHORTCOMINGS, AND FIND OUT HOW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Women, let’s take over the world, and do it together. The first step to accomplishing this is letting go of jealousy for other women. Women give other women the hardest time and we are most critical among one another. That can be motivating if we use it as a positive, but we don’t and we really don’t know how because we let envy and jealousy get in the way. Uplift someone this year and bring the karma to yourself. If you see a sista that can’t put on makeup properly, don’t talk about her; take the time to show her what she is doing wrong and/or give her your makeup artist’s card. We have to work together in order to improve each other. Once that happens we take the power away from anyone that doesn’t have our best interests at hand. This month is about Black History and Love; here is what I would like us to do for this month. LOVE YOUR BLACK BEAUTIFUL SELF, EMBRACE YOUR Embrace the essence of your inner soul Wake up and become bold in your own Don’t hide in the shadow of the room Dance in the light when there is only darkness Love yourself it should be your sole promise If you can’t see your journey, reach out your hand Just remember we all have a plan. MAKE A GOOD DAY & LOVE YOURSELF!!!!
Mrs. Reese
We at iCandi are true believers that PRAYER CHANGES EVERYTHING! We think of you all as our iCandi Family and “the family that prays together stays together”. We want all of our supporters to know that we love you and you are constantly in our prayers.
Sydney
Short Story Series Written By Melissa Howe
“Will you be late?” Marcus leaned against the bathroom door, arms crossed and watching me. “I don’t know.” I quickly finished applying my makeup and attempted to move around him. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me up against me. Caught by surprise, I looked up into his face and immediately felt guilt wash through me. At one time I had lived and breathed for this man, and he had done nothing wrong, nothing to turn my love to another. “Come home as soon as you finish the last show. I’ll be waiting with a romantic breakfast.” The look on his face was pleading with a hint of disappointment, as though he knew I had already said no in my head. He knew our marriage was failing, knew I was already checking out, and was doing everything he could think of to change it. “Okay.” I surprised even myself with this answer. I felt guilt anew when I watched his face light up. With a gentle kiss he released me. I practically fled from the house. Once at work all of my personal problems immediately evaporated from my head. I was in work mode. Ms. Cynthia kept me on my toes, racing me from one project to the next. My first show was a record breaker. I was flying high when I came out of the booth. “You’ve got a visitor in your office; the winner of the silent auction for a day with Sydney Melrose. She wanted to meet you.” Something about the disapproving tone in Ms. Cynthia’s voice set alarm bells ringing in my head. When I opened the door to my office the alarm bells turned into a steady, clanging siren while my heart stopped. Silhouetted against my office windows stood a woman. With her blond hair and curvaceous figure, I knew her in an instant.
“Hello, Sara.” My voice squeaked and I cleared my throat. My heart hammered in my chest and I struggled to maintain my look of calm composure. She turned to me then and her beauty took my breath away. She smiled, eyes full of the knowledge of my reaction to her. “Hello, Sydney.” She simply stood there smiling at me and I realized I was frozen in the doorway. I could feel the glare of Ms. Cynthia drilling into my back. I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me and made my way to the chair behind my desk. “What are you doing here?” I shuffled the papers on my desk, pretending to be engrossed in beginning to work while she took the seat in front of me. Every move she made was graceful. “I’m sure Cynthia informed you that I won the auction. I’m here to arrange spending the day with you.” She crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, never taking her eyes off of me. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, finally meeting her eyes.. “We can’t keep doing this. I’m married to Marcus. He’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve this.” I meant every word I said, but my heart yearned to rush around the desk and gather her to me. I had been dreaming of her for so long, since that one drunken encounter at a party that left me unable to think of anything else. “But you want me, Sydney. You know it, I know it. And I’m sure Marcus knows it too. But you can’t keep denying your feelings.” She spoke matter-of-factly. I turned my gaze to the window, unable to deny the accuracy of her statement. I wanted to be a good wife to Marcus; he deserved that, but I couldn’t help that my heart no longer dove into overdrive when I glanced his way.
“When you finish your second show, I’ll be waiting in the parking lot.” Sara stood to go. “I promised Marcus I’d be home for breakfast.” I said, still gazing out of the window. “See you in the morning.” I heard the door shut behind her. I didn’t move from my chair until Ms. Cynthia hustled into my office complaining I would be late for my show. I followed her like a zombie and basically mimed my way through my entire time slot. I knew I had disappointed my fans. Ms. Cynthia even asked if I were feeling okay during a commercial break. I managed to wave her off with an excuse of a headache. When I was finally able to return to my office I took my time gathering my things. I knew what I needed to do was get in my car and go home to my husband. I knew he would have my favorite omelet and a cup of coffee waiting for me. If I just tried, I could forget Sara and my life could go back to normal. When I made it to the parking lot Sara’s Mercedes was idling by the studio door. I glanced over at my car and hesitated. Silently praying that Marcus would forgive me, I climbed in next to Sara, grinning at the smile that beamed across her face. Join us next month for more Candi Ladies........
Be sure to grab your Candi Lady crew this month and head out to the movie theaters to support our girl Ms Nia Long.
Be sure to check out our website: www.icandipro.com for all the latest updates with Team iCandi
Poundcake
one word: FONDUE!! We are going to focus on fondue this month. I know some ppl like to use cheese for fondue and more power to them but its something amazingly sexy and delicious about chocolate. Chocolate also can be fun to incorperate for *clears throat* foreplay. So try out these few fondue suggestions this month. Strawberies/Banannas/Pineapples
Is it me or does this picture make you hungry!!! I have a weakness for cakes and this simple yet delicious cake dipped in choclate is heaven on earth. Your Man or Woman
Fruit and chocolate is sexy!!! Nothing else needs to be said Marshmallows
Marshmallows are agreat for fondue. It takes you back to those family smore moments. A great snack and very easy to do. It’s a fun and quick snack for children.
Hey we are all adults right?? Then just use your imiginations ;-)
6 Men that wom I
t’s 2014 and the resolutions have been set. One of the popular resolutions among women has everything to do with dating. When it comes to dating and finding the right man for you, there are a few certain types of men that you need to avoid at all costs. Now pay attention ladies; because although some of these might seem like common sense, a lot of them slip into our lives. #1 Mr. Negative (Debby Downer, always complaining)
This dude is ALWAYS complaining about something. Situations, prices, fashion, sex, work, Etc. It’s just bad, bad, bad! Men like this need to be by their damn selves because they will ruin EVERY happy moment you experience by pointing out the negative. Why would you sit and deal with that?
by M
#2 Mr. Follower (Easily influenced, weak minded) One thing that most women will agree on is that we don’t want a weak man. I’m not referring to physically weak (I don’t think many of us want that either), but I’m talking about mentally weak. Mr. Follower is easily influenced by others and is not able to think for himself. Women that are looking for a man to be the head of her household don’t need to bring Mr. Follower into their circle. He’s unable to make decisions on his own, he’s unable to stand up for himself (and her), and he’s more prone to fall into a life of addiction, crime, and/or infidelity. Ladies, you don’t want a Mr. Follower. Find a man that is able to do things for himself and is able to walk away from peer pressure.
#3 Mr. Controlling (do what I say, when I say it) Now this one might almost be able to slip through the cracks. At first a woman might look at his “take charge” and very attentive attitude as masculine and sexy. Yes, that’s all fine and dandy until Mr. Controlling is monitoring what you wear, where you go, who your friends are, what you eat, etc. Early signs can be subtle things such as “I like it best when you wear your hair like this” or he picks a fight when you come in after 1 a.m. from a girls night out saying he misses you and can’t asleep
men should avoid
MsiCandi
#6 In The Way Ninja (Lazy, unmotivated, leeching mofo, bum)
#4 Mr. Excuses (‘the man’ keeps me down, I can’t do this because...) I can’t get a job because the the pay is too low, my baby mama won’t let me see my kids, I can’t go to school because I don’t agree with homework -- I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Every time something somewhat challenging comes up, he has an excuse as to why he can’t do it, complete the task, or even attempt to try. Mr. Excuses never owns up to his mistakes or problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. He will be the first one to throw you under the bus.
#5 Mr. Playboy (playa playa) Need I explain this? He’s a flirt. Not that flirting is all bad, but he doesn’t understand where to draw the line. All of his “female friends” have seen his bedroom and he welcomes attention from thirsty women. He’s not ready to settle down with just one woman ladies. Most likely, he’s very attractive and he knows it because Keshia, Chante, Melissa, and Becky all tell him every day.
This is a term that I got from my father. An “In The Way Ninja” isn’t a race thing; it’s a lazy thing. Don’t get it twisted; this mofo is just lazy!! He doesn’t work, doesn’t help around the house, and doesn’t help with the kids. He’ll drive your car, eat your food, play video games all day, and is content with that. He’s content with a woman fully taking care of him while he sits on his a** all day. I mean damn, I can’t even get a PB&J sandwich out of this ninja! I blame his mama for this and that’s exactly where he should be, living at home with his mama somewhere, not in a relationship.
I am sure that you have run into at least two of these men and hopefully you learned your lesson instead of creating habits. These men are NOT the type that you can mold and change. Yes, there are always exceptions to the rules and some men can change (when THEY want to, not when you want them to), but do you really want to gamble your life’s happiness when the odds are against you? Take my advice ladies; if you come across any of these men, RUNNNNNN!!
We did a show on this in January; check it out at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/icandiradio/2014/01/11/ the-6-men-that-women-should-run-from