“The best way to predict the future is to invent it” - Alan Kay
Welcome to Issue 141 of Iceni Magazine and a very Happy and Healthy New Year to you all.
This month’s magazine focuses on Futures. Susan Leigh recalls a desire to micromanage an Uber driver as she shares ways in which we can avoid the frowned-upon practice (Pages 28 & 29). Aged 45 to 54? Perhaps you are one of the 50% of that age category who is considering a midlife career change. It’s not uncommon at all these days and there is no shame in wanting to achieve something different. Head to Page 32 to find out advice on how to pursue your passions.
Elsewhere, Charlie reviews a Lymphatic Drainage Massage (Pages 12 & 13) and shares with us the before and after images. Wondering what to do with your garden this January? Hint - the answer is not NOTHING! Pages 14 and 15 prompt you to take action in some key areas. Finally, as Mr Iceni attests, running is a fantastic way to boost your wellbeing. Starting on 7th January is a free 12-week beginners’ running course (Couch to 5k) in Eaton Park –find out more on Page 38.
We hope that January is a promising start to 2025 for you all. Enjoy all that Issue 141 has to offer – take care and we will see you in February!
Charlie, Iceni Home And Garden, Nova Silver, Susan Leigh, Tim Barnes-Clay, Trevor Langley, Vicki Jeffery.
Some Pitfalls To Avoid On Your First Holiday Together!
When you’re caught up in the heady days of a new relationship it’s easy to get swept along with the euphoria and excitement of it all.
You’re happy to be together and may enthusiastically agree to much of what’s discussed because you’re looking forward to sharing exciting new adventures as a twosome. The suggestion to take time away together can sound like a perfect next step.
But your first holiday together may deliver some unexpected and none too pleasant surprises. A little forethought and planning can help alleviate some potential mishaps.
Here are several ways to make your first holiday together a more positive experience and avoid possible minefields.
Let’s start with the early planning stages, when you’re deciding where to go and what to do. Often one person relishes getting stuck into organising the trip, sorting out the tickets,
finding out opening hours and arranging itineraries. But it’s important to use the initial decision-making time to discuss if one of you wants to pay a little more, avoid stopovers and spend more time at the destination or perhaps they have a preference for a relaxed, doing nothing break. Or one may want to book specific activities in advance.
Be patient and allow plenty of time for travelling, especially if it’s your first holiday together and you as yet don’t know each other too well. Then, if one is slow, absent-minded or accident prone, it can be accommodated without the atmosphere becoming tense and strained.
Agree the eating arrangements for the journey in advance. One may like to minimise spending on what they deem to be frivolous items, preferring instead to bring their own sandwiches and snacks from home. Whilst the other may be in holiday mode from the outset and eagerly anticipates enjoying café and restaurant quality meal breaks from the outset.
Food and drink. By now those in the relationship should be reasonably familiar
with each other’s eating and drinking habits as well as their idiosyncrasies. But it’s still a good decision to agree what you’re both hoping for from the break, particularly in terms of alcohol consumption and meal times, thus avoiding upset, confusion and potential fall outs over missed meals or boozy sessions!
If one’s a light traveller who packs everything into hand luggage and is always ready to go, but their companion has masses of luggage, there may need to be a serious conversation about what’s expected on the forthcoming trip. Sometimes these differences can be accommodated as part of the getting to know each other process. They can form part of the holiday, something to laugh about together afterwards.
Do you use taxis or local transport to get about? There are pros and cons to both options. Speed and safety may favour taxi usage, but local customs, smells and way of life can often be a treat to share and immerse yourselves in for a time, a fun part of using local buses and trains. Discuss ways to reach a mutually acceptable compromise.
What if one person wants to hire a car but the other hates driving, especially whilst away? Be clear about this from the start or it could result in tension if one feels aggrieved at always being expected to drive.
Being a night owl or lark can also impact on a shared trip, particularly if one wants to stay up late, perhaps partying, chatting to locals, whilst
the other is keen to go to sleep and be fresh for the coming day. Try to agree in advance, talking through the things that each is eager to do whilst away.
Expenses can be tricky, especially if one has more disposable income than the other. If one is happy to pay more in order to include the things they want to do discuss ways to make this happen respectfully before you go.
Keep a sense of humour. Few things which seemed quite serious at the time are likely to matter in the weeks or months that follow and can often become amusing anecdotes to reminisce about and regale family and friends with as your relationship progresses.
Acknowledge the stress levels you experience whilst travelling. There are several things that can cause tension. Passports, tickets, timings, which terminal to use are all high priority and need to be acted on promptly. So keep a balanced perspective about what’s happening. Breathe, share the responsibility and look forward to enjoying a pleasant, fun-filled time away.
Holidays and travelling together are times for getting to know each other more. Good planning can help you avoid many potential pitfalls on your first holiday together. Enjoy opportunities to learn new things about each other, whilst navigating your way through possible areas of disagreement. It’s good to discover that you both want to be flexible and compromise, an interesting step in progressing your relationship to the next level!
Article By Susan Leigh
Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Kia EV3 Review
The compact electric SUV market is poised for an exciting transformation with the ushering in of the EV3, writes Tim Barnes-Clay.
It is designed to attract eco-conscious drivers while catering to families seeking a car that doesn’t sacrifice style or comfort for efficiency.
One of the EV3’s most impressive attributes is its electric range, up to 375 miles achievable on a single charge, per WLTP standards. Where range anxiety is a significant concern for wouldbe electric vehicle owners, this impressive figure places the EV3 at the forefront of its class.
Extensive testing across diverse terrains and conditions across Europe verifies its adeptness - whether cruising along motorways, navigating busy city streets, or enjoying scenic routes through the countryside.
Built on Kia’s Electric Global Modular Platform (E-GMP), the EV3 boasts a spacious interior that echoes the popular Kia Sportage. It offers generous legroom and lounge-style comfort for all occupants. Indeed, sit a six-footer behind another six-footer, and no knees will touch the back of the front seats.
The cabin’s minimalist design is accentuated by a panoramic display and a well-designed centre console that prioritises usability. Innovative elements like pop-out door handles and premium relaxation seats in the GT-Line S trim show Kia’s ability to combine modernity with comfort.
Aesthetically, the EV3 is a showstopper. The new Digital Tiger Face upfront introduces vertical ‘Star Map’ headlamps featuring LED technology, presenting a contemporary yet friendly appearance. Stylish alloy wheels on higher trims accentuate the sleek profile, too.
Kia clearly understands the demands of modern life, equipping the EV3 with a suite of thoughtful features. A fast 15W wireless charger and multiple USB-C ports ensure that all passengers remain powered up on the move. The flexible storage solutions, particularly the slide-out table, enable convenient breaks - ideal for those occasional roadside charging stops.
The EV3’s boot capacity, which spans from 460 to 1,250 litres, depending on the seating arrangement, adds to its allure. This adaptability makes this Kia model a real-world choice for families.
Behind the wheel, the EV3 is a genuine pleasure to drive. The low placement of its battery boosts stability, leading to confident handling and responsive steering. The Kia’s tuning strikes a proper balance between performance and comfort, making it easy to feel in control - even on pothole-ridden British roads.
Anyone driving the new EV3 will appreciate the flexibility of its five distinct drive settings. ‘Eco’ mode heightens efficiency, while ‘Sport’ adds a bit of spice for an even more spirited
Kia clearly understands the demands of modern life, equipping the EV3 with a suite of thoughtful features. A fast 15W wireless charger and multiple USB-C ports ensure that all passengers remain powered up on the move.
driving experience. ‘Normal’ strikes a balance between performance and efficiency, whereas ‘My Drive’ enables you to customise the acceleration, braking, and steering settings to suit your preferences. Additionally, a Snow mode provides extra reassurance for wintry driving conditions.
The EV3 produces very little noise or vibration. Indeed, combined with the near-silent electric motor, it delivers a calm journey.
This Kia is a well-rounded package prioritising efficiency, comfort, and innovative design. If you are searching for a versatile, stylish, and efficient SUV for you and your family, the EV3 deserves to be at the top of your shopping list.
Fast Facts - Kia EV3 ‘Air’ 81.4kWh FWD & GT-Line S 81.4kWh FWD + Heat Pump
• Max speed: 105 mph / 105 mph
• 0-62 mph: 7.7 secs / 7.9 secs
• Range: 375 WLTP / 361 WLTP
• Battery Capacity (kWh) 81.4 / 81.4
• Max. power (PS): 204 / 204
• CO2: 0 g/km
• Price: £35,995 / £43,895
By Tim Barnes-Clay. Follow on Instagram: @tbarnesclay
DINING OUT: TARBOUSH
The market town of Loughborough is located in the Charnwood Borough of Leicestershire.
Growth, during the 20th century, paved the way for successful companies to emerge, employing workers from the town, plus the surrounding area (and beyond). Loughborough has a train station, situated on the main line, with frequent services to and from Leicester, London St Pancras, Derby, Nottingham and Sheffield, plus intermediate places. Buses are regular and serve the town very well indeed. University and college education facilities are renowned (globally). Arts, museums and sports are some
further attributes to Loughborough, providing interests for many enthusiasts. Restaurants and eateries have numerous choices for dining.
I located award-winning Tarboush restaurant (opened 2010) in Loughborough, which offers authentic, classic Middle Eastern cuisine to an excellent standard. The drinks menu has quality beverages for everyone.
To commence I opted for Grilled Halloumi Cheese. This flavoursome dish confirmed my faith for the following courses.
Main course choices drew me towards BBQ Mix Grill (marinated lamb cubes, lamb kebab, chicken cubes and chicken wings, grilled on
wood lump charcoal and served with chef’s special garlic sauce). This regularly chosen dish had superb, complementing flavours of ingredients, was impressively cooked and very well presented (selected side of Moroccan Couscous). Absolutely, Head Chef, Wafaa and the team have the experiences and knowledge to create perfection. Other regularly chosen dishes include a good number of fish, meats and other options.
Desserts offer several Middle Eastern delectations. I chose Mediterranean Sweet Selection, which includes delicious Baklava. This (to me) was exactly right for that ‘towards the ending of a great meal’ selection. An extensive range of fruit flavoured Shisha Pipes is available and very popular too.
Parties/occasions occur regularly. Collections, outside catering and deliveries are available as
well. The entertainment/live music times are extremely popular and often booked well ahead. Advanced booking for this restaurant is very much advised, particularly for popular dates and times. Gift vouchers are available - perhaps a surprise for someone special? Thank you to Jamal for the genuine welcome, plus Lou and Rahaf for exemplary service throughout.
Unlike the conventional massage which was created in 1930’s, the Renata Franca Method was created to improve the conventional lymphatic drainage technique.
This method uses a combination of rhythm, pressure, pumping and gliding to reduce edema, activate blood circulation and also boosts a complex network of vessels which transport fluids throughout the body - this contributes towards reducing cellulite.
Why do we need to drain our body?
Sometimes toxins and waste products build up in our tissues which can cause swelling, edema and cellulite storage.
It is through the Lymph, a fluid in our body that circulates through a network of lymphatic vessels and lymph nodes, that the waste products are carried.
Health benefits of the Renata Franca Method
• Activates the lymphatic nervous system, both of which provide immediate benefits
• Helps with fluid retention (Edema)
• Reduces centimeters
• Helps to relieve abdominal pain and discomfort
• Improves digestive, immune and circulatory systems, strengthening the anti-inflammatory action of our body
• Legs can feel lighter
• Muscle relaxation
• Decreased emotional tension, which helps to improve anxiety
• Improved quality of sleep
• Reduces blood pressure
• Relief from pain such as migraines
Aesthetic benefits
• Improvement in the appearance of cellulite
• Improves skin elasticity
• Helps to define muscles
• Refines and reshapes you silhouette
How soon can you see results?
Results can be observed from just one session, you will notice an improvement in swelling as well as a reduction in fluid retention.
How many sessions do you need?
As part of support for weight loss, fibrous fat and cellulite, one session per week for five weeks is recommended. This is then followed by one maintenance session every four weeks.
What to expect during the treatment
A few weeks ago I visited Mara Farias, Face & Body Haus, at Waxx Salon, 52 South Hill Road, Norwich, for my first ever lymphatic drainage massage. Over the years I have only ever had traditional Swedish massage, so I was super excited to try something different.
I suffer from abdominal swelling, as well as swelling in my legs. After reading online about all the benefits that lymphatic drainage massage can bring, I was keen to experience this treatment for myself.
Step 1
After filling in a client consultation form, my therapist told me to me to lay down on my back
on the beauty couch, she then began by cleansing my feet and wrapping them in hot towels.
Step 2
My therapist gently began massaging. She used a combination of rigorous movements, firm rhythmic pressure and pumping manoeuvres, whilst maintaining a fast pace, to stretch the surface of my skin towards the lymph nodes.
Step 3
The therapist then repeated the same massage in different areas, to move lymph through the lymph networks and lymph nodes, working her way to the areas with the most lymph blockage, like my stomach and legs. The massage lasted around 120mins from start to finish.
Final thoughts
I thoroughly enjoyed the treatment, Mara’s warming personality made me feel so comfortable. I found the whole experience very relaxing and I was able to see immediate results on my stomach area. I didn’t realise that my stomach had any swelling on that particular day, until I saw the before and after pictures. I was truly amazed! My legs also felt a lot lighter after the treatment, I was able to get a very restful sleep that evening too. I highly recommend Mara, she has a wealth of knowledge and I love the fact that she adapts her treatments to cater for your needs, leaving you with a very personalised experience. For more information on the treatments that Mara provides, visit her Instagram page - @faceandbodyhaus.
Hi, I am Charlie, a former make-up artist originally based in Norwich. I have always been passionate about art and channelling it through creative makeup. I trained at Norwich City College in Fashion and SFX makeup. My work has been published both nationally and internationally.
Want to see more? Check out my Instagram - @ThePoutyLip
Jobs To Do In The Garden For January
Tasks To Tackle In The New Year
As the winter season settles in, many people may think that gardening comes to a halt until spring.
However, January presents unique opportunities for gardeners looking to prepare for the growing season ahead. While the landscape might appear dormant, there are still plenty of essential tasks to undertake this month to ensure that your garden flourishes once warmer weather arrives. Here’s a guide on what to do in your garden in January.
1. Plan Your Garden
January is an ideal time for planning. Use this time to reflect on the previous growing season
and determine what worked well and what didn’t. Take notes on plant varieties, spacing, yields, and pest issues. This information will be invaluable when making planting decisions for the upcoming season.
Start sketching out your garden layout. Consider crop rotation if you’re growing vegetables to prevent soil exhaustion and pest build-up. Think about companion planting as well - certain plants can benefit each other when grown together, potentially reducing pests and improving yield.
2. Order Seeds and Supplies
With your plan in hand, it’s time to order seeds for your spring garden. Many gardening
companies and local co-ops offer catalogues full of interesting varieties, including heirlooms that might not be available in stores. Don’t forget to check your seed inventory; you might have leftovers from last season that you can still use.
Alongside seeds, now is the time to order any supplies you might need. This could include fertilisers, garden tools, soil amendments, and even pots for starting seedlings indoors.
3. Maintain and Clean Tools
Proper maintenance of your gardening tools during the winter months is crucial for a successful planting season. Take the time to clean, sharpen, and oil tools such as trowels, pruners, and hoes. Removing dirt and sap will prevent rust, while sharpening blades will make your cutting tasks much easier when the gardening tasks ramp up in the spring.
If you have larger equipment, such as lawnmowers or rototillers, ensure they are serviced and stored properly. A well-maintained tool will last longer and perform better, saving you time and effort later on.
4. Care for Perennial Plants
If you have perennials in your garden, January is a good time to check on them. In colder climates, mulch around the base of perennials provides insulation against harsh winter temperatures. If your garden has perennials that are taller and more susceptible to heavy snow, consider gently staking them to prevent bending or breaking under the weight.
For those in milder climates, it can sometimes be beneficial to prune certain hardy perennials now. This is especially true for those that bloom on this year's growth. Ensure you use clean and sharp tools to avoid damaging the plants.
5. Protect Your Garden
Winter can be harsh on gardens. Take steps to protect your plants from frost and extreme temperatures. Row covers or frost cloths can
be beneficial, as they trap heat while allowing sunlight to pass through. If you have vegetable beds, you might consider mulching them with straw or leaves to retain warmth.
For any vulnerable plants in pots, move them to a more sheltered location. Containers often suffer more in cold weather than groundplanted specimens, so keep an eye on them and provide protection if needed.
6. Start Indoor Gardening
While outdoor tasks may be limited, January is a great time to start indoor gardening. If you have a sunny window, consider growing herbs such as basil, cilantro, or chives. These can add freshness to your cooking during the winter months.
Additionally, many gardeners take the opportunity to begin starting seeds indoors, particularly for plants with a long growth cycle, like tomatoes and peppers. Using seed trays under grow lights can jumpstart the growing process.
7. Enjoy the Winter Landscape
Take time to observe your winter garden. While many plants are dormant, the stark beauty of bare branches and the subtle colours of winter foliage can be a delight. Snow can create a picturesque scene, and hardy evergreens can provide structure and texture to your landscape.
January is an excellent month for planning and preparation. By taking these steps, you are setting yourself up for a productive and vibrant growing season when spring arrives.
Embrace the tranquility of winter and use this time to prepare your garden for the lush bounty that awaits in warmer months.
Cleaning Silver
As you can imagine we’re quite often asked the best ways to keep sterling silver jewellery clean.
We will always recommend giving your jewellery a gentle wipe with a silver cleaning cloth after you’ve taken it off and then storing it in a dry zip lock bag with as much air squeezed out as you can manage. However we also own enough jewellery to know that this isn’t always practical in real life and sometimes silver just gets tarnished.
So, why does silver tarnish? Most silver jewellery is made up of 92.5% silver, with extra metals (usually copper) added for strength. This is sterling silver quality, or you may have heard it called 925 silver. Both copper and silver will react with sulphur containing gases naturally occurring in the air and form copper sulphide and silver sulphide. It is these sulphides that form a layer on the surface of the silver giving it a yellow, reddish brown, through to black appearance. You will also find that the tarnishing process speeds up in humid or damp atmospheres and when a piece has been handled. Our hands will leave traces of oils and salts that can also react and leave unattractive fingerprint marks.
Luckily these changes are not permanent, and can be cleaned off. With a large shiny surface a jewellery cleaning cloth that has been impregnated with cleaning agents can do the job with relatively little effort, but when the piece is more intricate it can prove a little more tricky. While there are specialist cleaning dips available we tend to be hesitant in recommending these. They are great at removing every trace off the surface of a piece of jewellery. You will find that it is left with no protection at all and can then tarnish a whole lot in a much shorter period than before.
We recommend using a simple mixture of non-toxic things you’ll probably already have: bicarbonate of soda, salt, aluminium foil and hot water. Please don’t try to clean anything stone set with this method, however, it’s for plain silver only.
Line your heat-proof dish with the foil, shiny side up. Add a couple of teaspoons of bicarb and a couple of teaspoons of salt. Pop in some hot water and the jewellery and leave for a little while. You may notice a stinky smell like rotten eggs. Don’t worry, this means it’s working and removing some of that sulphide that is causing the tarnish!
For really tarnished pieces you may need to repeat this a few times over, but it really is amazing how well it works. Plus the solution can go straight down the plug hole when it’s finished with no risk to aquatic life. (It may even clean the plug hole on the way down!).
Best Of Norfolk - Through The Lens Of Our Readers
Thanks to the wonderful photographs shared by our followers on Facebook, have a look at these amazing December images of our stunning region.
Dawn Mountain - Cousens Close, North Walsham
Dawn Mountain - North Walsham Young Farmers Tractor Run
Helen Chapman - Alburgh Christmas Tree Festival
Dawn Mountain - Christmas Tree In Cromer
Fiona Ellis - Old Buckenham
Dawn Mountain - Christmas Tree Festival - Gimingham Church
Helen Chapman - Alburgh Christmas Tree Festival Nadine Gray - The Royal Arcade At Christmas
Dawn Mountain - Mundesley Beach
Nadine Gray - Sunset On Mundesley Seafront
To be in with a chance of having your own photographs featured in the future, look out for our regular Facebook posts where you can add your images. Alternatively, send an email with your image and caption to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk
Dawn Mountain - Norwich Cathedral
Maria Holloway - Sunset In Hardingham
Helen Chapman - Topcroft
Dawn Mountain - Jarrold’s Norwich
Focus On: Futures
How To Stay On Track With Your Life Goals: A Guide For Those With ADHD
As a life coach who has worked closely with clients with ADHD, I understand that pursuing life goals, such as saving money to buy a property, can feel like an uphill battle.
However, with the right strategies and mindset, you can harness your unique strengths and create a path towards achieving your dreams. Let’s explore some effective techniques to help you stay motivated, avoid procrastination, and make the most of your hyperfocus
Understanding Your Strengths
First, it’s essential to recognise that ADHD brings with it a set of strengths that can be
incredibly beneficial in your journey. Many individuals with ADHD possess a natural ability to hyperfocus on tasks that genuinely interest them. This capacity can be a powerful tool when directed towards your goal of saving for a property. Identifying aspects of the saving process that excite you - like researching potential properties or exploring different neighbourhoods - can help you engage your hyperfocus positively.
Set Clear, Achievable Goals
To avoid feeling overwhelmed, break down your larger goal into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of saying, “I need to save £20,000 for a house,” reframe it into monthly or weekly targets. For instance, aim to save £500 a
month. This way, you’ll have clear milestones to celebrate, which can provide the motivation to keep going.
Create a Visual Roadmap
Visual aids can be particularly helpful for those with ADHD. Create a visual roadmap of your saving journey. Use a chart or a graph to track your savings progress. You might also consider using a vision board filled with images of your dream home and neighbourhood. This visual representation not only keeps your goal at the forefront of your mind but also serves as a reminder of what you’re working towards.
Establish a Routine with Flexibility
Having a routine can help structure your day, but it’s crucial to keep it flexible. Set aside specific times each week dedicated to financial planning or saving. However, if you find that you’re not able to stick to a rigid schedule, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, allow yourself the flexibility to adapt your routine as needed, perhaps shifting your saving tasks to times when you feel most energised or focused.
Use Technology to Your Advantage
There are numerous apps available that can assist you in managing your finances and saving goals. Budgeting apps can help you track your
spending, while reminder apps can nudge you when it’s time to review your savings or make a deposit. Set up alerts for important dates, like payday, so you can automatically transfer a portion of your income into your savings account.
Accountability is Key
Consider partnering with someone who can help keep you accountable. This could be a friend, family member, or even a coach. Regular check-ins with your accountability partner can provide encouragement and a sense of responsibility, which can be incredibly motivating when you’re feeling distracted or unmotivated.
Celebrate Small Wins
As you reach each milestone, take the time to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Treat yourself to a coffee out, a new book, or a fun activity. These rewards can boost your motivation and help reinforce positive behaviours, making it easier to maintain your momentum towards your larger goal.
Practice Mindfulness and SelfCompassion
It’s normal to encounter setbacks along the way, especially when managing ADHD. Practising mindfulness can help you stay present and focused, while self-compassion allows you to treat yourself with kindness during challenging moments. Remember, progress isn’t always linear, and it’s okay to take a step back when needed.
In conclusion, while saving for a property may seem daunting, by understanding your strengths, setting clear goals, embracing technology, and allowing flexibility, you can make significant progress. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to your dream. Embrace who you are, stay committed, and let your unique journey unfold. You’ve got this!
Do You Feel The Need To Micromanage?
If you’ve had occasion to take an Uber have you ever found yourself wondering why they’ve taken a particular route when you’d have chosen rather differently? This recently happened to me, but then I checked myself as I realised that it didn’t matter, the price had been agreed in advance and we were going in the right direction - I wasn’t being kidnapped!
Sometimes relinquishing control is an important part of moving forward. Not everything has to be agreed in advance or micromanaged. Sometimes it’s good to let things happen organically, in their own time and way. Let others use their initiative and play their part. You’ll get there, one way or another! It’s not necessary to oversee and supervise everything in life.
But some situations prompt a need to micromanage.
At times, stress and anxiety can cause us to be concerned that if we’re not in control things may not work out well, or may even go badly wrong. But there’s unlikely to be a catastrophe and even if things don’t work out the way we’d hoped it could actually result in unexpected opportunities, as in discovering alternative ways of doing things, getting to know each other better or building memorable moments within the team. Something that’s initially perceived as negative may well deliver valuable life lessons and experiences.
A relationship breakup can cause us to feel vulnerable, exposed and determined to micromanage every decision in an effort to reinstate some control over our lives. When much in our orbit is in disarray it can be scary,
unnerving and overwhelming. But instead of immediately reacting, just breathe, let things take their time and allow life to settle down.
A work environment can sometimes prompt a significant desire to micromanage. There may be concerns that other people are better, faster or more efficient. Or there may be fears that errors and faults could be discovered in our way of working.
A new job or promotion can cause stress and the need to prove that we’re coping well and are deserving of the trust and responsibility that’s been placed in us. Sometimes, however, Imposter Syndrome may surface and significantly threaten our confidence and selfbelief.
Equally, delivering a presentation can be stressful and prompt the need to micromanage and script every aspect of what’s to be said. However a presentation often works better and is more relatable to when it appears relaxed and spontaneous, rather than a tightly worded script. This allows the speaker to adapt to the mood of the audience, gauge what’s of interest and move with the flow.
Allowing others to do things in their own way often provides opportunities for them to enhance their skills and experience. People who are micromanaged can become demotivated and simply do what they’re told, so losing their ability or inclination to problem-solve, be resourceful or innovative. Why bother if they’re constantly being supervised and corrected every time they stray slightly off piste!
Maintaining good, regular communications with staff allows any areas where they may be struggling or feel inadequately trained, proficient and experienced to be quickly pinpointed. Staff appraisals, meet-ups and a positive approach to feedback and new ideas provides opportunities for staff to feel confident and comfortable about speaking up and saying if they have ideas or experience difficulties, have issues or need clarification or further training on an aspect of their job. Their development and subsequent success can then be encouraged and supported.
Providing an environment where staff become increasingly autonomous and take on more responsibility allows them to discover new skills and become valuable team members. It can also free up space in our diary for us to do other things and maybe even take half a day off work! Staff then become empowered to become more confident as they relax into their roles, deliver new ideas, a fresh approach, better ways of working and become more engaged in their jobs. A win/win situation for all concerned!
Personal relationships may become micromanaged if we feel our partner isn’t as
competent or motivated as we are. They may have different priorities, or be viewed as too laid back, but it can affect the dynamics of a relationship if one person assumes the role of mother/supervisor, constantly issuing lists and instructions. Not an especially rewarding situation for anyone! Communicating how you feel, perhaps in regular honest conversations, or even through relationship counselling can help both appreciate their role in establishing a better, more evenly balanced partnership.
In the home, new parents are often justifiably protective of their children. But several research projects have found that even young children, when uninterrupted and left to their own devices, are excellent problem-solvers. When children are safely supervised from a distance they’re observed concentrating and working things out for themselves, thus promoting confidence, resourcefulness and the ability to become more self-sufficient.
If we ever feel challenged or in awe of someone our confidence may be shaken. This can prompt the need to step up and micromanage. At times like that it’s important to pause and remind ourselves of our skills, experience, of our previous accomplishments, results and positive feedback, thus allowing us to calm, collect our thoughts and continue. We all have something to offer and everyone benefits when each are able to contribute their input and skills. We can then pause the need to monitor every step of the process. Often an overview is perfectly sufficient, rather than providing a detailed, micromanaged breakdown.
Article By Susan Leigh
Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Is It Time To Revisit Your Thinking?
Many of us will be familiar with the saying, ‘if you keep on doing what you’re doing you’re going to keep on getting what you’re getting!’ In other words, if you do nothing to make changes everything will stay the same!
But oftentimes, as we move through our daily lives much of what we do occurs on auto-pilot. We slip into a familiar routine where things get done, sometimes without our paying much attention. Days, weeks, months and even years can pass by with us hardly noticing, even during those times when we’re drifting uncomfortably along.
It can take a nudge, like a significant birthday, redundancy, divorce or New Year to make us pause and assess our life’s direction. Are we fine with where we’re heading, is this okay, or is now a good time to revisit our thinking and introduce some relevant, life-enhancing changes?
Many people struggle at the thought of New Year’s Resolutions, but they can motivate us to leave the starting block and introduce positive ways to improve our habits and mindset. Joining a national initiative, like Couch to 5k, or Dry January can help us feel less alone, as we connect with others pursuing similar health goals.
Being answerable to someone also helps, perhaps having them monitor our progress or rely on us to turn up. If we engage a coach they’ll need paying whatever we do, a volunteer group may include us on their rota and having those commitments can encourage us to continue maintaining an effort.
Feeling in a rut and living with frequent boredom, frustration, dissatisfaction and even unhappiness can be an important reminder that today is not a dress rehearsal. Many of us lead routine lives, with each day bringing some challenges, but even busy days can allow some scope for adjustment. Being flexible enough to occasionally be spontaneous or make space for something new or different is important. You’d be sure to find time if someone you really admired, like an important mentor, big movie star or favourite sportsperson wanted to meet you. It would take a major crisis for you to cancel!
But sometimes we may start to notice that we’re drifting through life, resulting in nothing of any significance challenging us or being achieved. This year has been quite tough for many with relentless wet weather and government legislation seriously impacting on several areas of life. But it’s also been positive, with much interest generated, for example in the quality of our food by Jeremy Clarkson and the national
‘No Farmers, No Food’ campaign. Noting that some major decisions have long-term rather than short term implications can prompt us to reflect on how to improve our lives, so making them happier and more fulfilling.
Increasingly, members of the public are choosing to make more informed decisions about what they consume and from whom. They’re becoming more interested in recycling, upcycling, buying healthier, fresh fruit, vegetables and produce from local suppliers, preferring to support independent farm shops rather than frequent supermarkets.
There’s a pithy saying that no one on their death bed ever wished they’d spent more time at work! And yet, for many, establishing a business, a good reputation and career is their major focus once they leave school, college or university. This is the time, too, when thoughts often turn to setting up a home and family.
How much revision to your thinking would it take to move into something fulfilling and satisfying, something that ticks several boxes for you? Planning would be required, but bringing coaches, mentors or collaborators on board could make for an interesting and rewarding change of direction or maybe a new business venture.
Other ways to inspire your career and business choices could be to introduce a side-hustle. Starting something new that runs alongside your existing situation or that can be managed
as a part-time interest can be a positive way to reduce financial pressure whilst maintaining enthusiasm about your ultimate goals.
Your personal life may also require an injection of enthusiasm. Scheduling time for shared fun in your relationships, whilst recognising the importance of good communications, investing in mutually supportive company and regularly catching-up with friends, hobbies and interests are all important and could enhance both your home and personal life. Don’t forget to include some quiet time for reading or taking a relaxing walk in nature.
Booking things in your diary can be a way to keep your relationships, friendships and outlook fresh. Ensure you’re motivated to leave the house, especially if it’s dark or rainy outside. Or, invite people to your home. A good reason to tidy, freshen the place up and maybe introduce bright colours, fabrics and attractive lighting.
As your motivation improves, don’t forget to credit yourself for what you’re achieving. Congratulate yourself, perhaps update your wardrobe as your fitness levels improve and treat yourself well as each day delivers results, however small.
Doing things for yourself, sometimes for no specific reason other than the pleasure it brings can introduce huge benefits to your health and wellbeing. When we revisit our thinking we can start to freshen our mindset and improve our quality of life.
Article By Susan Leigh
Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Setting Career Goals For The Future:
A Guide For Mid-Life Career Changers
Changing careers in middle age can seem daunting, but it can also be a fulfilling opportunity to pursue your passions and enhance your life satisfaction.
In the UK, research indicates that around 50% of adults aged 45 to 54 are considering a career change, with many seeking roles that align more closely with their values and interests.
To navigate this transition successfully, it is essential to set clear career goals and develop a strategic plan to achieve them.
Understanding Your Motivations
Before setting goals, take the time to reflect on
your motivations for wanting to change careers. Are you seeking better work-life balance, higher job satisfaction, or a chance to engage in work that is more meaningful? Understanding your “why” will help you create goals that resonate with your personal values and career aspirations.
Setting SMART Goals
To ensure your goals are effective, consider using the SMART criteria: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
1. Specific: Define what you want to achieve. Instead of saying, “I want a new job,” specify what that job looks like. For example, “I want to become a project manager in the renewable energy sector”.
2. Measurable: Establish criteria for measuring progress. For instance, you might aim to complete a specific course or gain a certain level of experience within a set timeframe.
3. Achievable: Ensure your goals are realistic. Consider your current skills and resources, and set goals that challenge you but are attainable.
4. Relevant: Align your goals with your long-term career aspirations. If you are passionate about sustainability, then moving into a role in environmental policy could be a relevant goal.
5. Time-bound: Set deadlines for your goals. This creates a sense of urgency and helps you stay focused. For example, you might aim to complete a professional qualification within six months.
Research and Skill Development
Once you have established your goals, conduct thorough research on the industries or roles you are interested in. Look for trends, required qualifications, and potential employers. In the UK, sectors such as health and social care, technology, and green energy are experiencing significant growth. According to the Office for National Statistics, employment in the health sector is projected to rise, making it a viable option for mid-life career changers.
Next, assess the skills you already possess and identify any gaps. Many online platforms offer courses that can help you acquire new skills or enhance existing ones. Consider enrolling in evening classes or online courses that fit around your current commitments.
Networking
Networking plays a crucial role in making a successful career change. Reach out to professionals in your desired field through social media platforms like LinkedIn or local networking events. Attend industry conferences and workshops to meet potential mentors and gain insights into your new career path.
Informational interviews can also be beneficial. These are casual conversations with people already working in your target field, allowing you to learn about their experiences and gather advice on breaking into the industry.
Creating a Support System
Changing careers can be a challenging journey, and having a support system is vital. Share your goals with family and friends who can provide encouragement and accountability. Consider joining groups or forums specifically for mid-life career changers, where you can share experiences and receive support from like-minded individuals.
Monitoring Progress and Adjusting Goals
As you work towards your career goals, regularly review your progress. Celebrate small achievements and be flexible in adjusting your goals as needed. Life circumstances may change, and it’s essential to remain adaptable and open to new opportunities.
Conclusion
Setting and achieving career goals in mid-life is an empowering process that can lead to greater job satisfaction and personal fulfilment.
By understanding your motivations, setting SMART goals, investing in skill development, networking, creating a support system, and monitoring your progress, you can navigate the transition to a new career successfully.
Embrace the journey, and remember that it’s never too late to pursue the career of your dreams.
With determination and a wellstructured plan, you can achieve your professional aspirations and enjoy a rewarding second act in your working life.
ICENI ANAGRAMS
It’s 2025 and you may be thinking about doing some of the following...
If you manage to solve all five, don’t forget to email us with your answers for a chance to win an Iceni Magazine pen. Solve all five and send us an email to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk. UK residents only.
GET TIN GIFT can be fun but rarely easytake it slowly to begin with.
CHANCE RING RAGE is something around 50% of middle-aged people are considering right now.
BABYING FOND WHINE... there is something out there for everyone!
NIGHTIES GLOW - you must have strong willpower and a supportive network for this.
SIRS LEGS NEST - definitely achievable and worthwhile to pursue.
