BY KAREN DAY
REFUGEE RISING
Patrick Ngalamulume, 25, stands at his desk at Hawley Troxell, reviewing a case of contractual law. Outside his window, a vista of downtown Boise expands to the foothills beyond. That Patrick is even alive is somewhat of a miracle, making the fact that as the first collegegraduate in his Congolese refugee family, he just passed the Idaho Bar Exam more impressive. And unlikely.
Research about suicidal ideation among refugees points to a low sense of community connectedness and belonging, combined with high level of perceived burden. Patrick explains in more personal terms. “I didn’t see myself reflected anywhere. I was alone besides one exceptional college professor from Togo. Still, I never dared talk about my suicidal thoughts or fears. It’s taboo among AfricanAmerican men and especially among refugees.”
Recent federal cuts to the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program have Two fellow law school students saw forced more than 100 of the nation’s their own mental health struggles 325 resettlement offices to close. reflected in Patrick and suggested Rising xenophobia and nationalism across the globe and in American “I’m here to share my story therapy. “At first, I said, ‘No way!’” culture have increased discrimination and help others by telling admits Patrick, claiming it was a sign of mental weakness. “Still, I knew I’d and resentment against newcomers my truth, about suicide, rather be dead than keep living as I from foreign countries. Boise, about hiding who you was. Therapy saved my life.” however, has remained welcoming to are, about feeling unseen. the Ngalamulume family since they One month ago, Patrick posted an Becoming a lawyer is just arrived from Zambia, 12 years ago. emotional video of the moment he my beginning.” learned he had passed the bar exam “My mom and dad work as school with the highest score in his testing janitors,” says Patrick. “With seven group. LinkedIn tends to be a brand-building site, but kids, it was never easy. They never talk about what there was Patrick, crumbled on the floor, in tears, his happened in the Congo, but it wasn’t good. Like many mother wailing tearfully, holding her son. Within a first-generation refugees, I watched my parents work few days, the video had more than 849,000 views. hard and vowed to help them by making the most of the opportunity I was given. When my father said I would be a lawyer someday, I accepted what he said as my personal responsibility, not as a suggestion.” Driving ambition for success comes at a cost and Patrick almost paid with his life. College led directly to the University of Idaho College of Law where he studied harder and longer than anyone, determined to justify his scholarship and parent’s belief in him. Passing the bar exam with the highest score of his class was the next goal. All the while, his mind and body rebelled.
“The minute I stopped focusing on studying or work, all I could think about was killing myself,” says Patrick. “My best friend died and I didn’t even ask how. I stopped eating, lost 50 pounds, but kept going because If I stopped, I’d commit suicide.”
Today, Patrick knows where he’s going and why. “I’m here to share my story and help others by telling my truth, about suicide, about hiding who you are, about feeling unseen. Becoming a lawyer Patrick, sister, Ruthie, 9, brother, is just my George, 22, mother Aimerance Kanku and grandson, sister Rose, 14. beginning.”
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