Feb. 16, 2016

The Indiana Daily Student Magazine | Volume 10, Issue 3 | Spring 2016

Body Coping with concussions | page 12 Meaning behind the ink | page 16 Moving with a purpose | page 8

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VOLUME 10, ISSUE 3 | TABLE OF CONTENTS | SPRING 2016

Color

Social

Body

Inside this INside

EDITOR’S NOTE At its core, our bodies are the same. We share identical tissue, bone structure and organs, but as individuals, we are distinguishable.

We make different choices and see things in different ways. We experience the world and discover our identities.

Through the journey, our bodies transform into our personal scrapbooks — the scrapes from the playground that never fully healed, the burns from accidentally touching the side of the hot cookie sheet.

Our 270 bones change with us, too, adapting as we find our niches. We end with 206 bones in our bodies, and what we choose to do with and to these bodies makes us distinctive.

This issue of Inside strives to highlight and celebrate these passions and experiences, showing that while we are similar in makeup, we are vastly different individuals.

Thank you for reading.

ON HIS SHOULDERS The road to Rio begins with a single lift | Page 18 FEATURES

16 A HUMAN CAN VAS

12 HEAD O N

24 FI N DI N G SELF ACCEPTAN CE

20 MOVI N G FO RWARD

DEPARTMENTS

Sometimes, beauty is skin deep.

What happens after the hit?

The LGBT population speaks up.

How accessible is IU?

6 R ES IZIN G B EA U T Y S TA N DA R D S

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10

It’s not as simple as a dress size.

T O T H E B R IN K

4

Which diets are actually healthy?

FO O D FA D S

16 P S YC H O F FIT B IT S

5 T H E S IN O F O U R B O D IES

H OW EFFEC T IV E IS YO U R B IR T H C O N T RO L?

How does technology change the way we exercise?

16 RO A D T O R EC OV ERY

3

Explore the complexities of mental illnesses.

B O DY MY T H S A N D FAC T S

Eating disorders affect more than the body.

Make sure what you’re using is working.

IU physical therapists explain the six stages of injury rehabilitation.

Our bodies are incredible, but how incredible?

ALEXIS DAILY — EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

February 16, 2016 Vol. 10, Issue 3 inside.idsnews.com Inside magazine, the newest enterprise of the Office of Student Media, Indiana University at Bloomington, is published twice an academic semester: October and November, and February and April. Inside magazine operates as a self-supporting enterprise within the broader scope of the Indiana Daily Student.

Inside magazine operates as a designated public forum, and reader comments and contribution are welcome. Normally, the Inside magazine editor will be responsible for final content decisions, with the IDS editor-in-chief involved in rare instances.

All editorial and advertising content is subject to our policies, rates, and procedures. Readers are entitled to a single copy of this magazine. The taking of multiple copies of this publication may constitute as theft of property and is subject to prosecution.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Alexis Daily Haley Ward WEB EDITOR Brianna Susnak PHOTO EDITOR Nicole Krasean COPY EDITOR Jamie Zega EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Liz Meuser DESIGN ASSISTANTS Kayleigh Dance, Gabrielle McLemore, Lauren McNeeley, Mia Torres and Alex Ritter ART DIRECTOR

Indiana Daily Student EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Mary Katherine Wildeman MANAGING EDITORS Alison Graham and Kathrine Schulze MANAGING EDITOR OF PRESENTATION

Anna Hyzy MANAGING EDITOR OF ONLINE

Scott Tenefrancia

ADVERTISING ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Roger Hartwell MARKETING MANAGERS

Ashley VanArsdale IU STUDENT MEDIA DIRECTOR

Ron Johnson NEWSROOM 812-855-0760 BUSINESS OFFICE 812-855-0763 FAX 812-855-8009

C OV E R P H OTO B Y H A L E Y WA R D INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 1

FOOD FADS

By Paige Hutson

THE GOOD Vegetarian/Vegan Diet: Catherine Shepherd, registered dietician at the IU Health Center, said participants need to ensure they are consuming enough nutrients, including calcium, vitamin D and iron. “(It) can be extremely healthful, but you have to make sure you’re getting those key nutrients,” she said.

For vegans, she recommends a calcium and vitamin D-fortified almond milk in place of cow’s milk and getting foods high in iron like oatmeal, quinoa, beans and legumes.

“Someone could come to me and say they’re eating soda and potato chips and that’s a vegan diet, but we all know eating soda and potato chips isn’t healthy,” Shepherd said.

A vegetarian can get protein from dairy and eggs, but vegans rely on protein from other sources like beans, nuts and soy.

“There’s a product called seitan,” Shepherd said of the wheat gluten. “They make a lot of fake meat out of it. That would be a lean protein.”

Gluten-Free Diet: Going gluten-free is a healthier alternative than diets of white, processed breads or high in carbohydrates. However, many gluten-free products, like gluten-free pretzels and muffins, seem healthy but contain added sugar or are not whole grain.

Shepherd said she recommends whole foods that are naturally gluten-free like rice, quinoa or potatoes over a gluten-free bread.

“You can eat a healthy diet and eat 100 percent whole wheat bread, which is very good for you,” she said of a non-gluten-free diet. “You can eat a very healthy gluten-free diet as well and eat whole grain rice and quinoa and lots of fruits and veggies and lean proteins.”

THE BAD Paleo Diet: This diet avoids grains, legumes, processed foods and refined sugars. Some paleo users also avoid dairy.

The 130 grams of carbohydrates needed per day come from fruits and nuts instead of grains. Going below the minimum amount of carbohydrates poses health risks.

“It’s a little too restrictive for me,” Shepherd said.

“I don’t believe grains are evil.”

Shepherd said it does not create a healthy mindset to say one food group is bad, especially since her version of a healthy diet includes whole grains.

& THE UGLY Intermittent fasting switches between phases of fasting and eating. Shepherd said she saw it frequently last spring, sometimes turning into students drinking lemon water with cayenne pepper and honey for a few days instead of eating.

“You really limit your calories on certain days of the week, kind of jump start weight loss, but you can eat more on other days,” Shepherd said. “I’m just not into it.”

Shepherd said she likes to promote generally healthy eating because extremism makes eating complicated and not fun.

The Atkins diet includes foods high in protein and fat but low in carbohydrates, recommending less than 30 grams of carbohydrates a day. When bodies lack carbohydrates needed to burn energy, they will burn fat instead and create ketones. Once built up, ketones turn blood acidic, causing dehydration and comas.

Shepherd said the diet is not sustainable for long periods of time and bodies will eventually crave carbohydrates.

“You don’t want to go lower than 130 grams of carbohydrate just because if you go below that, your body doesn’t have enough blood glucose to operate your brain and everything else,” Shepherd said.

DIET-FRIENDLY DELICACIES Bloomington has tons of food options available for any type of diet. Here are a few of our favorites:

Anything from The Owlery Restaurant

Vegan ice cream from The Chocolate Moose

Everything here is vegetarian, and most dishes can be made vegan, too. Pictured are their “fish” tacos made with tofu and vegan mac and cheese.

This Bloomington staple has a few different vegan ice cream flavors daily, including chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and grasshopper.

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Gluten-free pizza from King Dough Enjoy a slice or a whole pie of King Dough’s glutenfree pizzas. Pictured here is their Potato Pie pizza, topped with olive oil, golden potatoes, red onion, cherry tomatoes, oregano and three different types of cheese.

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MYTH: You can’t sneeze with your eyes open.

FACT: According to the MythBusters (one of which, Jamie Hyneman, is an IU alumnus!), “the nose and eyes are linked by cranial nerves, so the stimulation from the sneeze travels up one nerve to the brain, then down another nerve to the eyelids, triggering a blink for most people.”

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FACT: The surface area of your lungs is almost the size of a tennis court, according to the National Emphysema Foundation.

The stories you tell happen here.

NIGHT OF THE FUTURE STARS

MYTH: Chewing gum takes seven years to digest.

FACT: “(Gum) probably passes through slower than most foodstuffs, but eventually the normal housekeeping waves in the digestive tract will sort of push it through,” pediatric gastroenterologist David Milov said in a Scientific American article.

Horseshoe Foundation

By Alexis Daily

BASKETBALL CLASSIC

BODY MYTHS AND FACTS 1

Your search is over. Let your story begin.

4

FACT: You are more likely to get a cramp if you swim 30 minutes to an hour after eating, according to howstuffworks.com.

5

MYTH: Cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis.

FACT: An article from Harvard Health Publications wrote that the “pop” heard is “caused by bubbles bursting in the synovial fluid — the fluid that helps lubricate joints.”

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INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 3

HOW EFFECTIVE IS YOUR BIRTH CONTROL?

By Lauren McNeeley

Preventing pregnancy is a serious matter, so choosing your birth control is a huge decision. Everytime you get down and dirty, you rely on a piece of plastic or some hormones to prevent a stork showing up on your doorstep nine months later. What are your chances that your birth control works every time? Here’s your answer.

DIAPHRAGM

PILLS

What is it?

What is it?

SIlicon cup thats inserted into a woman’s vagina and covers the cervix

Oral medication containing estrogen and/or progestin taken daily

Does it work?

Does it work?

94% 88%

99% 91%

effective if used correctly every time

effective if pill is taken correctly every day

effective if not used correctly every time

CONDOMS

What is it?

A plastic or latex sack worn on the outside of a penis; protects against STDs

A device inserted inside the uterus uses hormones or copper to prevent pregnacy

Does it work?

Does it work?

82%

99%

effective at preventing pregnancy

effective at preventing pregnancy

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SHOT

What is it?

What is it?

A small plastic bar inserted in the upper arm that releases progestin.

Injection of progestin that prevents pregnanacy for up to three months.

Does it work?

Does it work?

99%

99% 94%

effective at preventing pregnancy

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IUD /INTRAUTERINE DEVICE

What is it?

IMPLANT

SOURCE PLANNEDPARENTHOOD.ORG

effective if pill is not taken correctly every day

effective if administered every three months

effective if not administered every three months

The Sin in our Bodies

By Hussain Ather

Mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are diseases. Physical illnesses like cancer and polio are diseases. But should we look at them the same way? Probably not.

To de-stigmatize mental illness, we need to understand that mental illnesses are more than just physical diseases of the body.

Diseases of the mind aren’t simple. They affect the way we think, behave, feel and judge others and ourselves. They’re mysterious and are often caused by non-physical factors such as social injustice and personal experiences.

The stigma of mental illness can be used for unjust purposes. Science writer Carrie Arnold explains, “defiance is often pathologised, with psychiatrists sometimes leading the charge.”

Arnold cites historical examples of “diagnosing” defiant oppressed groups as mentally ill, like treating homosexuality as a mental illness. They are efforts to dehumanize and silence that only contribute to stigmas.

To fight this, we’ve turned to neuropsychiatric research on the body. The more progress we make, the more we view mental illness as a physical disease grounded in the brain. We tell people with mental illnesses it’s “part of their body,” that they were given an unfortunate hand of genetic cards.

Seeing mental illness as only a physical phenomenon makes things confusing. Are you still responsible for what you do? Do you behave and think “normally”? These thoughts only increase the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Similarly, when we say oppressed groups are mentally ill because it’s “part of their bodies,” we say they face injustice because “they are the way they are.” It shifts blame away from society’s injustice and toward their own bodies, dehumanizing them as victims of their own crimes rather than humans capable of expression and worthy of equal rights.

Joseph E. Davis, professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, said the brain-disease model turned our stresses into medical issues and increased pharmacy-backed initiatives to sell more drugs. He said, “If that wasn’t troubling enough, the campaign has also had the unintended consequence of promoting the very stigma and discrediting attributes it sought to reduce,” in the Hedgehog Review.

Davis said we traded our personal responsibility to obtain biological determinism, the idea that our physical bodies decide who we are. We said people with mental illnesses don’t have personal control or rational choice over their actions, behaviors or ideas, but most mental

illnesses aren’t that serious. We strip them of responsibility, casting them off as “less human.”

It’s easy to make moral judgments that don’t do complete justice to the reality of mental sickness. People with mental illnesses still have the same responsibility and selfhood everyone else does.

Instead of saying “It’s not shameful to seek help,” we should acknowledge the reality of mental illness and our own responsibility over ourselves and our actions. And, instead of saying, “It’s just part of your body,” we should say they are the same human beings, but see the world differently. They have the same ideas of personhood that others do.

Should we completely abandon our scientific research in understanding mental illness?

Probably not. The science of our bodies can tell us many things about mental disease, but we need to understand the roles other areas, such as culture, philosophy and society, might play in mental illness.

No matter what we realize, mental diseases are more complex than we thought. When trying to de-stigmatize mental illness, we should remember we’re more than just genes and molecules.

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RESIZING BEAUTY STANDARDS

by Hannah Rea

The scandal at the Miss Universe pageant in December made man many question why we still have competitions based so solely on a certain style of beauty.

Virginia Vitzthum, Vitzthum a Professor of Anthropology and Senior Research Sci Scientist at the Kinsey Institute, said, anthropologi acting as an outsider, “plus-size” to an anthropologist is confusing. sayi ‘plus-rich’ or ‘plus-tall,’” “It’s like saying Vitzthum said. “It implies that there’s something higher.” socie view, however, is different. Size The societal b considered normal, she said, but 18 used to be anythi higher than a 12 is considered now anything plus-size. “(We’ “(We’ve) redefined anything higher than a thin m model as a plus-size,” Vitzthum said.

Te’A Te’Arrow Hoggard, a student in the Fashion Design Bachelor of Arts program s at IU, said she only used what would be consid considered “plus-size” models to show her de designs at the school’s fashion show last sp spring.

“I feel the plus-size representation of m men and women in the media is b e becoming more common and pr rev e prevalent, progressing to show that ccurves cu rv can be healthy and beautiful,” sh he said. she C Claire Russell, another student in fash s sh fashion design, said she disagrees. ““Although there has been much more repr p representation (of plus-sized people) in the rrecent years, it has not yet reached a goo good level,” she said. “I do think that there was a trend of thin models … and then that trend became something that desig designers took as a norm.”

R Russell said the distinction between comm commercial and high fashion is the de esigne personal muse, and how he or designer’s she wants clothes to be presented.

Hoggard said for runway-level fashion, model cho choice is entirely based on the personal taste of the designer, though sometim size affects the decision for sometimes practica practical reasons.

“Th “The more curvy a model is, the more fabric is needed to make the garment,” she ssaid.

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Both Russell and Hoggard said the size of the average woman is not accurately represented in the models used in advertising, especially in campaigns that show clothes companies expect average women to buy.

However, Target’s new Who What Wear collection features models of different sizes and shapes.

Hoggard said more fashion brands use plus-size models, mentioning Torrid and their campaign allowing anyone to audition to be a model.

But Hoggard said she prefers the high-fashion industry because of the personal process in designing clothes. In her spring collection, called “Dark Fantasy,” she said she used black lace to distance her designs from the innocent connotation that usually comes with delicate white lace.

“When I designed my collection in the spring, I specifically looked for ladies with hips and curves to show that not all models have to be a size 0 or 2,” she said. “In the fashion industry, the saying ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ is a literal statement.”

The definition of beauty has largely been left up to designers alone, Russell said, but she said she thinks this is changing.

“More people are brave enough to say ‘This is what I think is beautiful,’” she said. “Fashion is used to push these ideas forward.”

Photo courtesy of Te’Arrow Hoggard Christine Martin, Samantha Madley, Jasmine Rodriguez, Brenda Shelton (Left to right) modeled Hoggard’s clothes at the fashion show last spring.

See where your bus is in real time

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PSYCH OF FITBITS Soaring purchases of fitness-tracking wristbands have people wondering if they’re just a trend or a motivational tool.

By Liz Meuser

As Sara Suisman walks across campus to class she notices that she hasn’t felt the familiar buzz on her left wrist.

“Oh I haven’t hit the goal yet,” she thinks to herself. “I should go work out.”

Suisman, an IU freshman, is one of the many people who own a fitness-tracking device such as the Fitbit.

“I think it makes me more conscious of how active I am during the day,” Suisman said. “Because if I weren’t to use it I wouldn’t really think about ‘oh I could walk here instead of taking the bus.’”

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research study by NPD Connected Intelligence found there was a 4 percent increase in ownership of wearable activity trackers during the 2015 holiday season with Fitbit seeing a 13 percent increase since February 2015. A press release from Fitbit said the company sold 4.5 million devices in their second quarter of 2015.

The rapid development in activity tracking technology and the surge in popularity of fitness apps, wearable trackers and smart watches leads one to wonder if these devices hold some secret to success. Does wearing a tracking device compel you to work out more?

Professor of practice Jeffrey Huber of the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at IU said that if anything, the Fitbit is great at giving people a nudge to get up and exercise.

An IU diving coach for the last 24 years and 3-time Olympic coach specialized in cognition and motor performance, Huber said from a behavioral psychology perspective, there are certain aspects of motivational feedback with such tracking devices.

“Feedback is huge in everything you do,” Huber said.

“So I can see that there’s some feedback (with the Fitbit), where you do some exercise, you look and you see some points and there’s a little bit of reward in that.”

Huber noted sometimes people are not always accurate in gauging how much exercise they need or get on a regular basis.

“Sometimes we can be really terrible at evaluating ourselves and our progress,” Huber said.

Performance tracking tools and the feedback users receive on the amount or lack of their physical activity could help them get a more realistic understanding of their progress.

Allison Gruber, an assistant professor in the biomechanics laboratory within the School of Public Health, uses Fitbits in her research to help track runners over time and monitor their activity levels.

A Fitbit user herself, Gruber noted from personal observation that she could see some aspect of motivation behind wearing the wristband.

“Setting the goals, and some of the awards and badges you can earn, might help people to try to get that extra 20 minutes,” Gruber said. “I like seeing that reward, that little green bar. Seeing that all my daily goals are green definitely makes me feel some bit of satisfaction from that, so maybe that little bit of reinforcement gets me to do that extra set of stairs.”

From a social psychological perspective, Huber noted that putting the Fitbit on is a commitment in that it says something to other people, or that others may see it and talk about it with one another.

“You look down at it and it’s kind of a reminder,” Huber said.

But Huber clarified that ultimately the key to progress lies within the individual and their decision to actually get up and get active.

“Just putting the Fitbit on may give you that nudge, but ultimately you have to find the motivation to (exercise),” Huber said. “And that’s not going to come from the Fitbit, that comes from you and making some life changes.”

For Suisman, who got her Fitbit a year ago and occasionally wore it, she said she has started using her Fitbit more since coming to IU because of all the walking she does around campus.

“It’s really cool, especially because I never really realized how many steps I take in a day,” Suisman said.

WHAT CAN A FITBIT TRACK? Within the app, you can view progress toward daily goals for certain activites.

Some of these activities include the following:

number of calories burned

number of miles traveled

number of steps taken

number of active minutes you’ve experienced

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To the Brink

By Anna Hyzy When I was a senior in high school, my mom would come home from work during hockey season to eat dinner with me before heading to my brother’s game.

We’d stand in the kitchen or sit in the dining room and quickly catch up on our days before she left me with instructions to do my homework.

As soon as I knew she had shut the front door, I would calmly walk to the bathroom. On my walk, I’d sweep my hair up into a messy bun.

I’d briefly glance in the mirror, turn around, lift the toilet seat up, get on my knees and begin to cough and gag and make myself sick until the only thing coming out was yellow-y stomach acid.

To lose a significant amount of weight, you have to work off more calories than you put in. Each potato chip is a longer run. Each drop of milk in your coffee is a few more crunches. But you don’t count fruit, so frozen grapes and strawberries will have to do.

Before bed, make sure you drink your tea. It tastes like shit. You made the recipe yourself and, though you’ve by no means conducted a scientific trial, you’re convinced it’s working. Green tea. Lemon juice. Cinnamon. Cayenne pepper.

Everything that’s supposed to boost your metabolism all mixed into a gritty, hot, hard-to-swallow potion. But it must be working, you could swear you read about it somewhere.

You read about all of this somewhere at some point or another and it didn’t start out so bad. Google: Easy before-bed workouts. Ignore the cuts on your back from your spine digging into the ground, they only hurt when you rub against them anyway. You do that for a while, weeks maybe, and watch your legs and stomach get smaller and tighter.

But that was never going to be enough. So you run. Google: best foods to eat for running. Fruit, nuts, water. Not so bad.

You run so much that suddenly a mile passes in five minutes and you’re doing things you never thought you could. Everything is easier. The stairs at your high school no longer leave you breathless.

You’re healthy and everyone is proud of you. “You look so good,” they’d say. “You really got in shape, I wish I had that kind of discipline, I should start working out.”

But nothing is ever that simple.

Work out until you can’t, eat as little as you can and throw up what you do.

Shrink. Shrink. Shrink. Shrink.

I was first formally diagnosed with bulimia nervosa at a visit to IU’s Counseling and Psychological Services during my sophomore year at school here.

This was two years after I ran my first five-minute mile and a long time after

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I had first told myself and the people around me that I was finally “better.”

It would be a month or so before I learned to be okay with the fact that I wasn’t.

It’s hard to explain the shame associated with an eating disorder. I know I should be proud of the fight I’ve put up, but I default to feeling embarrassed that there was ever a disorder to fight against. I’m disgruntled that my own body wasn’t advanced enough to fight it alone, without me ever having to consciously acknowledge there was a problem.

I was prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine, generic Prozac, a dose that has slowly but surely inched up over the last year.

For a while, medicine felt like throwing in the towel. It felt like I was too weak to handle my illness myself. After four weeks on Prozac, it still stuck inside my throat and burned like hell and it still made me nauseous, but I could get out of bed and make it through the day without a panic attack.

The feeling was, to be honest, strange. I had been fighting against myself for so long that the calm felt foreign, like I had a new superpower. I could think before I panicked, before I

worried, before I purged. I could have a normal life.

Still, everything in me fought against what I’ve now come to know very well: my problem is and always has been chemical.

I went back to my psychiatrist after a few months of treatment. I wanted to know when I could come off of my medication and function normally by myself.

My doctor told me that it’s possible I never could. He explained to me that my disease is just that — a chronic illness — and that, were I to come off my medicine, it would likely return.

That used to terrify me. I wanted, and I still do want to, be enough on my own.

It took me a long time to see what was wrong with that thought. I am more than enough on my own, and denying myself medicine that treats a legitimate disease would not make me a somehow better version of myself.

Seeking help should never be embarrassing. Being sick shouldn’t be something you’re afraid to tell people about and I’m not anymore.

I’m Anna, and I’m a recovering bulimic.

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Head On A look into the high-impact concussion research performed on IU athletes.

By Brianna Susnak

A

ustin Reid isn’t sure exactly how many concussions he’s had. Since he began playing competitive hockey at age 4, the IU sophomore and defenseman has taken countless hits on the ice. His last injury came in September, during a preseason practice game when a shoulder to the head sent his head into the glass.

“Immediately after (the hit), I knew I had a little bit of a concussion because I have had a few before,” Reid said. “But I thought I was going to be fine, so I continued practicing for the next week.”

However, he wasn’t able to brush off the injury like he had with others in the past. When he noticed he was having trouble focusing and studying, he decided to take a trip to the health center.

That visit marked the start of Reid’s long road to recovery: a journey that has been ridden with endless doctor’s appointments, medical prescriptions and vision therapy visits.

It also marked the end of his competitive hockey career.

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Sophomore Austin Reid practices scoring goals on the patio of the Kappa Sigma house. Since Reid has had multiple concussions, he can no longer play competitive hockey.

R

esearchers are taking note of the concussion epidemic among athletes. For the past five years, IU optometry professors Dr. Steven Hitzeman and Dr. Nicholas Port have been teaming up to tackle concussion research through the study of eye movements.

Backed by the funding of a grant, the pair of researchers built a portable device that allows them to evaluate an athlete’s eye movements on the sideline.

“There wasn’t anything on the market for what we were doing, so we decided to build our own,” Port said. “Our goal was to build something that was portable, would work in direct sunlight, and would allow us to perform sideline-based evaluations.”

The evaluations, however, are very different from the cognitive tests that have become a standard for athletes in highimpact sports.

“The classic neuro-cognitive testing is an essential part of managing a concussion for student athletes,” Port said. “It’s a series of cognitive brain tests that you take a day or two after the concussion, and this gives the health care provider a sense of where your cognitive skills are in comparison to where you were when you took the test before the season. It’s essential that the athlete’s cognitive function is back to normal before they can return to play.”

Reid remembers taking this kind of test in high school, but doubts how reliable it is.

“I’ve passed concussion tests at my baseline while feeling completely unprepared to return to play,” he said. “That’s the interesting thing about concussions, you know when you’re ready and when you’re not. The (cognitive) tests don’t tell you.”

Hitzeman understands the doubt surrounding the cognitive tests. “They’re just a standardized test,” he said. “You put an

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athlete on a computer and they have to answer questions. It’s subjective, while what we’re doing now is totally objective.”

Unlike the cognitive tests, the eye movement evaluations can help determine a concussion diagnosis immediately after an injury is sustained.

“What we’re trying to do with measuring eye movements is actually in the very acute phase, when you have someone that might be concussed, and you have the trainer on the sideline who has nothing to go off of,” Port said. “Obviously if it’s a really bad injury, they’re going to go back with a physician in to the locker room. But there are other times when it’s a judgment call, and those are the ones who are going to be overlooked or keep playing.”

After suffering multiple injuries, Reid understands how hard it can be to make that call.

“There have been so many times where I feel like I’ve had a little bit of a concussion,” he said, “but it goes away in a day, or it’s not limiting me physically. I notice it for a little while and then it’s fine. I feel like those (injuries) are ultimately what’s attributing to this issue now.”

These are the kinds of scenarios that Hitzeman and Port hope to facilitate with the development of their sideline device.

Since they started collecting data regarding the eye movements of IU athletes, the findings have been positive.

“The preliminary analysis is showing that certain types of eye movements are very predictive of concussions,” Port said.

“Eye movements, combined with balance that we can measure with a portable balance device, are pretty predictive of a concussion diagnosis by a team’s physician.”

While both doctors plan to expand their research to a greater number of athletes and a wider age group, they’ll also be registering their research as a clinical trial.

“This is a tool that athletic trainers, school nurses, and others could use as a way to objectively diagnose concussions, Port said. “The goal here is to bring our product to the market for healthcare providers all over the place.�

A

s Dr. Hitzeman and Dr. Port continue their research, Reid remains focused on his recovery. “At this point, we’re four months out (from the injury) and I’m still having headaches, but less frequently,� he said. “Mostly, the biggest issues are just not being able to fall asleep, never feeling like I’ve gotten enough sleep, general exhaustion, lack of enthusiasm and I think fairly significant changes in my personality.�

After visiting a neurologist and attending visual therapy, Reid has been prescribed both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s medicines to alleviate his pain and improve his vision. “It’s interesting how they try a bunch of different medications,� he said. “They’re really exploratory, and I’m willing to do almost anything.�

While Reid once thrived as a student athlete, he now faces new challenges both academically and socially. “In large lecture halls, I find it really hard to retain information,� he said. “Even if I’m taking notes, I find myself zoning out. Outside of class, I have less desire to do things, and I’m not nearly as energetic.�

Although he won’t be able to play contact sports anymore, Reid said he isn’t completely limited physically. “At this point, (the doctors) told me I’m not going to be doing any further damage with light exercise,� he said. “So I play basketball and stuff now, and afterwards there are some symptoms. But it isn’t making anything worse. Heavy lifting is the biggest limitation.�

While hockey has always been a part of his life, Reid has chosen to make his health first priority. “I just don’t desire to ever experience this again,� he said.

CONCUSSIONS AMONG COLLEGE ATHLETES In 2010, NCAA surveyed approximately 20,000 student-athletes to discover how many experienced concussions or concussion symptoms that were reported or unreported during their college careers.

86.9% 9.9%

WOMEN

3.2%

80.6% 13.3%

MEN

6.1%

74.3% 18.6%

HOCKEY

7.1%

No Concussions

One Concussion

SOURCE NCAA

Multiple Concussions HALEY WARD | INSIDE

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INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 15

A HUMAN CANVAS

By Natalie Rowthorn

A Service of Permanence He sat up straight on the wooden bar stool, his long fingers twiddling a black ballpoint pen as he spoke about his service. His deep yet distinct voice seemed to reverberate against the walls of the Upstairs Pub. It was late afternoon in January, and the pub tended to be nearly vacant around this time.

During his four years of active duty as a Marine, including a voluntary tour to Afghanistan, Cpl. Chris Creel only spent about 40 days at home.

Creel, now 27, decided to join the United States Marine Corps in March 2007, uncertain of life after high school graduation. He asked a recruiter to drive two hours to his home in Sanborn, Minnesota, despite initially hanging up on others who had contacted him previously.

“He showed up in his dress blues,” Creel said. “And that’s what did me in. Seeing a Marine in his dress blues is like, I don’t know, seeing a unicorn in my opinion.”

By May, he was leaving for boot camp.

In May 2011, he returned to the U.S. and now works as a manager at the Upstairs Pub. The Pub, he believes, is much like the birthplace of the Marine Corps.

During the American Revolution, a committee of the Second Continental Congress frequently met at the Tun Tavern in Philadelphia, where a resolution was eventually approved calling for two battalions of Marines to fight alongside the Navy. The Continental Marines were officially formed on November 10, 1775, in the tavern.

“Marine basically means a fighting force for the land and the sea,” Creel said. “The whole idea was for the Navy to have a landing assault

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force and a force to fight on their ships.”

The Marine Corps recently celebrated its 240th birthday in November. On this day, Creel decided it was finally time to get his eagle, globe and anchor tattoo, the official emblem of the Marine Corps.

Within his first year of service, however, he already decided he wanted the tattoo.

“Through some hard times I had while I was in, I decided I wanted to wait until I was discharged from the service,” he said.

After his eight-year contract with the Marine Corps was up in May 2015, it was simply a matter of time. It now rests on the inside of his right forearm.

The eagle, globe and anchor each signify a different purpose the Marine Corps serves. The eagle represents the United States, with the entire world within reach of its outstretched wings. The globe represents the Marines’ ability to go anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice.

“We can be anywhere in 48 hours, anywhere in the world,” Creel said. “That was always nerve-wracking for me because I didn’t know if I was going to wake up in my racks and have a called service somewhere.”

Lastly, the anchor points to its naval heritage and ability to access any coastline in the world.

“I wake up every day and I know it’s there, but every now and then I kind of catch it out of the corner of my eye,” Creel said. “I look at it and it literally brings a flashback of one thing

or another. You know, good things, bad things.

But I always smile about it.”

But the emblem was not the first tattoo he got in dedication of his service.

After earning his title as a Marine Raider in 2009, Creel and his best friend got their Raider ink. The Marine Raider training lasted approximately eight weeks and consisted of 20hour days. Very few Marines, he said, get to go through its intense training.

“It was the most fun I’d ever had being a Marine,” he said.

His most recent tattoo, however, remains close to the heart.

Creel served in the Fox Company, dubbed the Blackhearts, of the 2nd Battalion 5th Marine Regimen, the most decorated unit the Marine Corps. He immediately recognized the capabilities of the Blackhearts.

“We had a lot more specialized training than the average grunt, so I really took the idea of being a Blackheart to heart,” he said.

The emblem, however, had to be earned.

It was not something simply handed out. After undergoing a six-month training revolution under the command of Capt. Brian Chontosh, a noted Marine Corps officer and war hero, Creel earned his Blackhearts emblem.

In the final days of training, Capt.

Chontosh informed the Marines they must complete a 23-mile hike through steep, mountainous terrain in California to gain the honor of carrying the unit’s insignia.

“It was probably the most physical pain I’ve ever been in for my life,” Creel said. “It was absolutely ungodly, this hike.”

Still, he made it through to the end. The emblem, a human skull, now sits on his upper right arm, just below the shoulder.

While his active duty is up, Creel still sees other Marines who are regulars at the Pub. They often refer to each other as “Devil Dogs.”

The nickname, based on its original phrase, “Teufel Hunden,” was made up by German soldiers to describe Marine fighters in World War I. The Marines earned respect from the Germans, also gaining a reputation for their ferocity and fighting capabilities.

While the “Hounds of Hell” translation is inexact to German language, it continues to serve as a term of endearment from one Marine to another.

“If you met about a hundred people in your day, maybe one or two of them would be a Marine,” Creel said.

And as far as tattoos go, Creel said he isn’t finished just yet.

“I’ve got a lot more Marine Corps tattoos coming,” he said. “My whole right arm will be full of them.”

P H OT O S B Y N ATA L I E R O W T H O R N

Marking a Transition Renne Payne may not consider herself to be an artist, but her appreciation for artists like French illustrator Moebius, as well as Bloomington’s own art scene, are reflected, or marked, on her body.

The 25-year-old Greencastle, Indiana, native got her first tattoo this July. And she has gotten two more since.

A blue crystal rests upon the underside of Payne’s upper left arm. Moebius, the pseudonym for French cartoonist, Jean Giraud, who was known for revolutionizing comic book art, is the source of her inspiration.

“His artwork is some of the most beautiful artwork I’ve ever seen,” she said.

Payne’s love for Moebius combined with her love for science fiction seemed like a perfect fit for getting the tattoo. In 1974, Moebius collaborated with Chilean avantgarde filmmaker Alejandro Jodorosky for an adaptation of “Dune,” a science fiction novel

by Frank Herbert.

“It’s just sort of like a very coincidental thing that the two of them worked together and that they also worked on “Dune,” she said.

“French comic book illustration and science fiction was sort of fusing into this one thing.”

She decided to get her first tattoo on a whim. She and a friend went to a tattoo parlor in Cincinnati, where the artist happened to be familiar with Moebius’ and Jodorowsky’s work.

“It’s not actually black ink,” she said. “It’s a prism, so there are actually no lines. It’s just this clear crystal. And then he did the blue, which I really liked. I just really appreciated that the tattoo artist understood what I was going for instead of just tracing something.”

She got her second and third tattoos

done by local tattoo artists and friends in Bloomington, which she has called home for seven years. To some, Bloomington is simply a college town, but for Payne, it has dictated who she has become as a person.

“Bloomington to some people is just some place you pass through, but Bloomington for me has been an incredibly formative period of my life,” she said.

Payne completed her undergraduate degree at IU in political science, and is now in her first year in the East Asian Studies Master’s Program with a focus in Chinese and Confucian thought.

Payne got her second tattoo the weekend before beginning graduate school and got her third a few days before second semester began.

“I realized I end up getting tattoos during periods of transition in my life,” she said.

In August, she got a Neopagan triple moon tattoo on her sternum during the Iris Camp music festival in Bedford, Indiana.

The triple moons, a waxing, full and waning, are representative of the various stages in a woman’s life cycle as phases in the moon.

“I’m not really into astrology or anything that’s particularly Pagan necessarily, but I do like that it’s in a very centered, symmetrical location,” she said. “It represents the cycle of my life, essentially.”

Her most recent tattoo, a dusty pink daisy representing her love of the 1960s, sits on her right arm, opposite of the crystal.

“I really only want tattoos of things that exist in nature, like plants and animals,” she said. “I really don’t ever want a tattoo of a human or a band or anything like that.”

P H OTO S B Y N I C O L E K R A S E A N

Evil By The Needle Tattoo artist and co-owner of Evil

By The Needle tattoo shop Jon Rio has been permanently drawing on people’s bodies for 13 years.

Rio and his wife, Jamie, founded the tattoo parlor in Bloomington together in 2002. He does the tattoos, and she does the piercings.

Together, they created a full custom tattoo and body piercing studio.

Drawing, he says, has been the natural progression of his life and has always been his thing.

“When I sit down and draw, it kind of just happens,” he said. “It’s been the thing that kept me out of trouble my whole life. It kept me in school.”

When it comes to getting the first tattoo, Rio has seen the endless mistakes people make when they walk through the parlor door.

“They come in really excited, their adrenaline is going,” he said.

“The best thing to do is get sleep, eating something before you come.”

Also, don’t come in hungover from partying the night before, he said. Even your lifestyle can depend on how you take it.

“Don’t drink your breakfast, you’ll bleed everything out,” he said.

Otherwise, come in well rested, and use ointment and unscented and dye-free lotion to keep the new tattoo clean and moisturized.

INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 17

ON HIS SHOULDERS The Summer Olympics in Rio start in August 2016, but for weightlifter Ethan Harak it is just the beginning.

By Andrew Hussey

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P H OTO S B Y H A L E Y WA R D

LEFT Ethan Harak carries 210 kilograms (462 pounds) while performing a clean deadlift at StoneBreaker Athletics in Bloomington. Harak recently received his graduate degree in chemistry from IU. ABOVE Weights lay on the floor at StoneBreaker Athletics.

t’s a cold January Ienough morning. It’s early for Ethan Harak to bring two cups of Starbucks coffee with him into Stonebreaker Athletics.

The gym is in the heart of Bloomington, but out of the eyesight of most. In this garage-like building, people of all skill levels train with the radio blaring and the constant refrain of weights hitting the floor.

Amongst this humble setup, Harak barely breaks a sweat, quietly warming up with a light PVC pipe.You would never guess that he’s about to lift hundreds of pounds effortlessly, or that he’s training to qualify for the 2016 Summer Olympics.

But the medals on the walls might be a giveaway.

“Hey,” Alice Kay Hui, who also works out at Stonebreaker, says jokingly. “Those aren’t all yours.”

The jokes with fellow trainees and the music keep him going, especially during the grueling workouts, Harak said.

He steps up to the bar and dances ever so slightly to Drake’s “Hotline Bling.” In one smooth motion, Harak lifts 515 pounds, lets out an audible grunt in between lifts and puts the bar in resting position.

This is what Harak says he does five days a week, all in preparation to qualify for the Summer Olympics.

“Weightlifting is mentally draining,” Harak said. “Most days it sucks, and you walk into the gym and you are sore and it’s a grind.”

But, winning a gold medal and making Team USA are what keeps him continuing this grind, he said.

“Going to Rio and the Olympics this summer would be a dream,” Harak said. “It would be me representing not just me, but my country, my family and my gym.”

Stonebreaker Athletics acts like a family for Harak, he said.

“We just try to set him up for success,” said Jennifer Agnew, one of Harak’s trainers at Stonebreaker. “He’s way more advanced than anyone at our gym.

He’s an elite athlete.”

Getting to Rio won’t be easy for Harak, even with his success at previous tournaments. Harak finished second and third at the U.S. Nationals in 2014 and 2015 respectively, and finished second twice at the American Open in both 2014 and 2015.

Harak said because of Team USA’s poor showing at the 2015 World meet, most likely only one American weightlifter will be donning the red, white and blue in Rio. That means to go to Rio, he must beat every single weightlifter at the U.S. Olympic Trials.

For now, Harak dons his Kansas City Royals socks, representing his hometown team as he trains for his first international meet in Russia this March.

Harak grew up just miles from Kansas City, Missouri in Lee

“Going to Rio and the Olympics this summer would be a dream. It would be me representing not just me, but my country, my family and my gym.”

— Ethan Harak Summit, Missouri, where his path to Rio began.

“I played football for two years in high school, but my heart wasn’t in it,” Harak said. “When I was a sophomore I took up power lifting and would spend five days a week in the weight room.”

After high school, he said he had no idea that there were such things as strength sports and didn’t know where it would take him.

He said he started doing CrossFit training in college.

In 2013, the potential Olympian found the sport that would potentially make him famous.

“I started weightlifting right before I started graduate school here at IU in August of 2013,” Harak said. “Through CrossFit, I fell into love with weightlifting, but then it turned into why should I do CrossFit, when I can just do weightlifting.”

Finding he was good at lifting heavy weights, he said it made sense to continue on since he enjoyed it.

“Weightlifting is a perfect balance between strength and athleticism,” Harak said on the reason he was drawn to the sport.

The other balance he said

he had to achieve was between studying chemistry for graduate school and training, which he said was exhausting.

“I made it work because I made both things a priority and focused on one thing at time,” he said.

Harak graduated last December and said he doesn’t know what to do with all this time he now has to train.

“You spend a lot of time in the gym and sometimes you kind of go crazy,” he said. “I like to fun with it.”

Marina Carsello, a sophomore at IU, also lifts weights alongside Harak at Stonebreaker. She noted that Harak is quiet, but when he does talk, he’s goofy.

“We all make fun of him,” she said on the joking within the Stonebreaker gym family. “We keep him humble.”

Harak said his humility has prevented the success from going to his head.

“No one expected me to be this good, this soon,” he said. “I’m still a newbie. The 2020 Olympics will definitely be my year, but I’m still making a run at Rio.”

INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 19

MOVING FORWARD

Freshman Max McLinn cuts through the Arboretum on the way to his Italian class in Woodburn Hall.

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By Alexis Daily For freshman Max McLinn, the difference between sympathy and pity is vital.

“In being sympathetic, people help me when I need it but still treat me like a normal human being otherwise, understanding I have limitations, but not changing their perspective or demeanor toward me as a result,” he said. “When people pity me, on the other hand, they tend to do things like stare and treat me more like a puppy than a man, calling me ‘buddy’ or ‘pal’ at the end of every other sentence along with a condescending pat on the shoulder.”

Since March 2015, McLinn — a student from Valparaiso, Indiana, living in the Honors Residential Community in Briscoe Quad — relies on a wheelchair to move.

As a kid, he played little league basketball and baseball, but was often frustrated by how slowly he moved compared to teammates. His parents also noticed the waddle in his run.

“That was the first sign that things would be always be different for me,” McLinn said.

McLinn has limb-girdle muscular dystrophy (LGMD), a group of disorders primarily affecting voluntary muscles around the hips and shoulders. All forms of MD are degenerative, meaning symptoms develop and worsen over time.

But when McLinn heard the diagnosis in fourth grade, he said that did not initially sink in. He still played sports with his friends, just not competitively like before.

“I didn’t feel comfortable playing (competitively) because after I knew there was an actual difference between me and everyone else, I didn’t like people seeing it,” he said.

Slowly, though, McLinn began to see the effects of LGMD in his daily life. He fell more frequently and required assistance to stand again.

P H OTO B Y H A L E Y WA R D

INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM • INSIDE MAGAZINE 21

Freshman Max McLinn gets out of his chair after socializing with people in his floor lounge in Briscoe Quad. He said his floormates have been helpful during the year.

“It feels like your body is betraying you, and that hurt me,” he said. “It implied a lack of independence, the likes of which I hadn’t felt before.”

Now, walking was dangerous. As a result, McLinn spent his last three years of high school taking classes online.

“It was nice to start off with because I didn’t have to do all of the walking I would need to in high school, which would have been really hard, but then there was a really isolating aspect to it,” he said. “It was not socially optimal.”

However, McLinn did attend one class within the walls of Valparaiso High School: Latin. Encouraged by his interest in history and his desire to learn an ancient language, he enrolled his freshman year and continued attending until graduation. At IU, he switched to Italian, what he calls “the modern version” of the language he loved in high school.

In March 2015, after realizing he could no longer rely on his feet to carry him, McLinn sat in his wheelchair for the first time.

“Walking around is an inborn thing you know and learn how to do very early on, and to go from something so natural to controlling all your movements with a joystick is really odd,” he said. “Now I have to be more deliberate in my movements, even though moving itself should be effortless.”

The online courses meant McLinn had little experience using his wheelchair before starting college. From university buses with wheelchairaccessible ramps to taxis giving a 50-percent discount to wheelchair passengers, Shirley Stumpner, Director of the Office of Disability Services for Students, said the University and city work hard to make Bloomington as accessible as possible for students like McLinn.

“We also work with students who have non-apparent disabilities that

still make it challenging to get around,” she said. “Last year we had 45 students with permanent mobile impairments, but only three or four were in wheelchairs.”

McLinn chose IU based on its programs, but accessibility solidified his decision to attend.

“Our biggest goal is making university life accessible,” Stumpner said.

She said students are guaranteed rides around campus in one of the office’s two vans. However, McLinn said he chooses to get around on his own when he can, noting it takes him less time to wheel to his class in Ballantine Hall from Briscoe than it would for students walking the same path.

So far, he’s only used the van service once, after the night’s 5 inches of snowfall were not cleared before his class.

“Anytime I’ve had a problem, it’s fixed in an incredibly timely fashion and every person has been very helpful,” McLinn said. “One small improvement would be having maintenance crews run regular tests to ensure everything works.”

Certain aspects of getting around IU have been challenging for McLinn — the slight raise between the median and road at the crosswalk between McNutt Quad and Foster Quad, or the journey from his Italian class in Woodburn Hall to his media discussion section in Willkie Quad where he relies on freight elevators and accessible entrances in multiple buildings to arrive on time every day.

Despite all this, he said he is happy to call Bloomington home. He smiles as he talks about his favorite IU memory, attending the first football game in Memorial Stadium last semester.

“It’s not ideal, but it’s definitely doable and worth it,” he said.

P H OTO B Y A N D R E W W I L L I A M S

ROAD TO RECOVERY

By Michael Hughes

When sophomore guard James Blackmon Jr. went down with an injury to his right knee at the end of December, there was a lot of uncertainty about how severe his injury was.

About a week later, it was announced he would have surgery to repair the damage. A few hours after that, Blackmon Jr. was ruled out for the rest of the season. It was never specified what type of knee injury Blackmon Jr. suffered.

He did suffer a torn meniscus last offseason however, to his left knee.

That process is unpredictable, Amy Bayliss, a clinical professor in the physical therapy department at IU-Purdue University Indianapolis, said.

“It can be kind of hard to narrow down because technology in surgical procedures have changed so much,” Bayliss said. “It used to be they just removed the meniscus whereas now they generally don’t remove the whole structure anymore. They might take part of it or take none of it out and try to repair it. Sometimes they’ll even do replacement.”

Bayliss has been teaching for the past nine years, and practicing for the past 24.

She said meniscus and ACL tears are more common in contact sports, and while basketball is a non-contact sport, contact is still prevalent.

*

“Sports that have some type of contact you’re going to up the ante a little bit,” Bayliss said.

“Contact, twisting and pivoting are hard on the ACL and meniscus.”

But IU Athletics said the injury occurred during a non-contact drill in practice.

The rehab process for a meniscus tear or for an ACL tear can take anywhere between six to 12 months, Bayliss said.

There are typically six stages to any rehabilitation for a knee injury. The first begins before the surgery, Bayliss said, making sure the knee is ready and the quadricep is strong enough for the surgery.

Then begins the second phase, which is just the first week after surgery, Bayliss said.

All that usually happens in this phase is an attempt to reduce the swelling and the pain after the surgery.

The third phase, from weeks two to four after the surgery, Bayliss said, involves trying to apply full weight on the knee and trying to get back to walking normally and strengthening the knee.

The fourth phase, from weeks four to 10 after the surgery, is primarily focused on improving the strength and endurance of the knee, Bayliss said. This phase is also based around an activity where the patient stands on only his injured leg for a set amount of time.

Bayliss said the fifth phase takes place from weeks 10-15, and focuses on aggressive strengthening of the knee and the introduction of drills specific to the patient’s sport.

The final phase is a bit more flexible, Bayliss said. It usually lasts around four months and doesn’t involve the introduction of any new drills. By this time, the patient should be able to return to practice, but is still not participating in

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any contact drills or full games.

By six months, the patient should be healthy enough to participate fully in practice and games. By 12 months, the patient should be back to normal.

“With proper rehab, six months return to sport with no restrictions,” Bayliss said. “I would say with speed and agility, and being 100 percent fighting form is about 12 months.”

Trying to get back to pre-injury status is the goal. Knee rehabilitation is unlike other rehab processes, like when baseball pitchers repair their elbows.

In those cases, the injury and surgery can actually improve the pitcher’s arm from where it was before. But this is because it is a different type of injury, Bayliss said.

When a pitcher requires Tommy John surgery, it is because his arm has been slowly debilitating for years.

“It takes a long time for the elbow to give out,” Bayliss said. “Some people start developing pain as early as 10 years old, but maybe it’s mild. With degenerative injuries I think people sometimes forget what feels normal so after surgery they feel better.”

Bayliss said knee injuries are much more sudden and happen all at once.

Bayliss also made sure to point out the dangers still associated with the patient’s knee after full recovery. Re-injury is much more common, meaning for Blackmon Jr., both of his knees are at greater risk of serious injury than they were at this point last year.

“We like to think in the rehab world that at 12 months we have you back to your pre-injury status,” Bayliss said. “The problem is that tissue never repairs quite the same.”

P H OTO S B Y W E N Q I N G YA N

Aimes Dobbins, junior

Diana Chaudron, junior

Evelyn Smith, graduate student

Tom Williams, research assistant

Finding Self Acceptance

By Madison Hogan A grin sneaked across Tom Williams’ lips as they scrolled through their phone, looking for a picture of the first time they ever wore a dress. According to Williams, it was one of the happiest moments of their life.

“It was euphoric,” they said.

“My cheeks were, at the end of that night, in pain because of how much I had been smiling.”

In the photo, Williams, a 25-year-old genderless transwoman, beams in an H&M dress. They said everyone should have the opportunity to feel this delighted, as long as it’s legal and harmless.

Body image, according to Judy Lightstone, author of “Improving Body Image,” is the way we see ourselves and how we believe others see us. However, according to Williams, body image is almost always discussed from a cisgender perspective, with a central focus on women’s bodies.

Aimes Dobbins, a 20-yearold nonbinary transmasculine undergraduate, said they believe the current narrative about body image is problematic given that it mainly focuses on eating disorders and weight.

“I don’t think we talk about it enough.” Dobbins said. “I think it just so happens that the LGBT community has so many other things to do with, that maybe it’s hitting the back burner.”

Though everyone has potential body image concerns, Dobbins said they don’t think cisgender people are able to truly comprehend what it’s like to be transgender with these issues.

“It’s like a double whammy,” they said. “We’re dealing with what cisgender people deal with and then in addition we’re also dealing with, more so, the feelings that come with being trans... I think it’s just different. Being nonbinary is different, being trans is different.”

Dobbins admits to dealing with being self-conscious about how people view them and sometimes disassociates with themselves, but recognizes their ability to speak to others and good actions they do for their friends.

When a friend took pictures of Dobbins for a class project, they said they felt comfortable with letting the world see them.

“I just feel attractive and I feel happy when I look at it,” they said.

“I just love it.”

But feelings of confidence can easily be disrupted for the transgender and gender nonconforming communities if they experience gender dysphoria or body policing.

Gender dysphoria — a feeling of dissonance between gender identity and the way people perceive you, according to Williams — is a feeling some transgender individuals experience that can have an effect on body image.

“It feels to me like the way bending metal sounds,” they said.

Diana Chaudron, a nonbinary junior, experienced body policing when an angry employee forced them out of an IMU bathroom, believing Chaudron’s gender expression didn’t match the bathroom assignment.

“I felt terrible, like the whole day,” they said. “It made me feel really dumpy. I ended up telling my mom about it.”

Evelyn Smith, a gender-fluid transwoman working on her graduate degree and assisting at Middle Way House, said she was taught for 25 years to hate her body, and it’s not something she

feels she can just be free of.

“So there have been times when I have felt hopeful,” she said. “I cannot think of a time when I felt, ‘Oh, this is good, this is where I want to be.’… I’m skeptical that I will ever reach that point.”

Smith said there are things she likes about herself, but she wonders if the messages she’s received her entire life about transgender bodies and fat bodies have created irrevocable damage.

“I will say that I have made concerted efforts and, in particular lately, made a conscious, continuous effort to live in my body rather than in spite of my body,” Smith said. “That’s a struggle. It’s a struggle to feel connected to something that you’re told is wrong.”

She said to face these issues we must disrupt and reconstruct the ways society monitors our bodies.

“We have to stand with each other,” Smith said. “I will be there to stand with trans people, and I would like it if everyone else were there to. I think there’s a lot of power in there. And sometimes, that’s the only power we have.”

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