February 14, 2017

The Indiana Daily Student Magazine | Volume 11, Issue 3 | Spring 2017

The Transition Issue Two IU students process the loss of their child | page 12 Political power shifts in a divided country | page 18 A New Yorker adjusts to life without the subway | page 24 INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 1

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VOLUME 11, ISSUE 3 | TABLE OF CONTENTS | SPRING 2017

Natural

Identity

Transition

EDITOR’S NOTE What I love about life is that it teaches us lessons.

Each year yields new responsibilities, greater experiences and more opportunity to develop yourself. What I like about transitions, and why I decided on this theme, was that it speaks of a process.

Whether in the blink of an eye or occurring over a period of time, transitions are forever a part of our lives and shape our perspective and ideology in more ways than we realize.

There’s always a process leading up to something bigger than ourselves.

Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them, but regardless, they’re necessary for personal growth and should be appreciated.

In this issue, you’ll read about transitions regarding grief, political power, living abroad and everything in between. We hope you enjoy reading this issue as much as we at Inside enjoyed creating it.

Let your process run its course.

“Some people feel the rain, other’s just get wet” – Bob Marley

ON THE COVER

Pattern inspiration for the cover was drawn from a painting created by Zenee’ Render during her pregnancy. Read more about her story on page 12.

DEPARTMENTS

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BETTER BETT ER YO U

TI P J AR

Adopting a healthy vegan lifestyle — tofu and all — doesn’t have to be overwhelming.

Spruce up your living space with a few simple changes just in time for spring.

February 14, 2017 Vol. 11, Issue 3 inside.idsnews.com Inside magazine, the newest enterprise of the Office of Student Media, Indiana University at Bloomington, is published twice an academic semester: October and November, and February and April. Inside magazine operates as a self-supporting enterprise within the broader scope of the Indiana Daily Student.

Inside magazine operates as a designated public forum, and reader comments and contribution are welcome. Normally, the Inside magazine editor will be responsible for final content decisions, with the IDS editor-in-chief involved in rare instances.

All editorial and advertising content is subject to our policies, rates, and procedures. Readers are entitled to a single copy of this magazine. The taking of multiple copies of this publication may constitute as theft of property and is subject to prosecution.

6 C O N FES S IO N S

How Google Translate can (literally) save your life while you’re living abroad.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Kennedy

Coopwood

ART DIRECTOR Mia Torres

Yulin Yu COPY EDITOR Sara Miller DESIGN ASSITANT Matthew Cayot PHOTO EDITOR

FEATURES

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A H O ME W IT H LLS FO U R WA L LS

MA R C H IN G T O ZIO N

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Moving off the street isn’t as easy as it may seem.

Two IU seniors cope with the loss of their daughter.

A W EEK E ND D IV ID ED

Indiana Daily Student EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Hannah Alani MANAGING EDITORS Jordan Guskey and Lindsay Moore MANAGING EDITOR OF PRESENTATION

Emily Abshire

The name says it all.

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B E T T E R

Y O U

Venturing into

eganism Making the switch to a vegan lifestyle

Adopting a vegan lifestyle can seem daunting at fi rst. Incoming VegIU first.

President Troy Chirico shares his advice for anyone making or considering the switch to veganism.

Start slow Don’t put pressure on yourself to quit cold-turkey (or turkey in general).

“You don’t have to change overnight. It should be a slow process just because it is going to be something new for your body. Start maybe just one day a week with no meat. That way you don’t feel any pressure to stay perfect.”

S Survey substitute options S almond or coconut milk can Soy, s be swapped in for dairy milk and meat alternatives are available. alter “ “They’re really easy to find. Obviously plac like Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s places have more options, but even if it’s a limited limit supply, there’s still a supply at most mos major grocery stores.”

Collins buffet.

“Forest is fantastic because, obviously, the salad bar. You can go to Wells and the fridges are completely stocked with Bloomingfoods food.

Collins actually has a buffet style dining hall and they have one vegan option for every single dinner, which is super cool.

Seriously, I could go on and on.”

Know that you can get protein K Don’t let the myth that vegans can’t D get protein scare you. p “There’s a big misconception with “ eating eatin plants that people think you have to get protein from meat. But protein prote is found in beans, spinach, kale, broccoli, mushrooms, pumpkin seed sunflower seeds. You can seeds, survive survi and live a healthy life on a completely plant-based diet.” comp

Check out places downtown Bloomington has a handful of specialty vegetarian/vegan restaurants, and even more with vegan options. Just call ahead or look up the menu online if you’re unsure.

“If you’re looking for vegan or vegetarian cuisine, The Owlery is a fantastic place. They make stuff specifically to satisfy those cravings you have. Then there’s also Rainbow Bakery, which is a completely vegan bakery in town. And actually, I really love going to Red Robin. The have a boca burger and you can get it on a wheat bun. And bottomless fries, which are amazing.”

Explore your options on campus Ex RPS R offers a variety of vegan-friendly options, optio from the black bean quinoa bowl at Caliente to vegan chili at the

SWAP MEAT For those wanting to replace e meat in their diet, here are the equivalencies ivalencies for the protein found in 1 ounce of meat in various plant-based sed items.

1/2 /2 CUP BEANS

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1/2 CUP TOFU

1/4 CUP NUTS

BY MIA TORRES

Protein Animal protein is a complete protein, meaning it contains all of your essential amino acids. Plant protein — except for soy — is incomplete, so you need to make sure you’re getting complementary sources of protein. So if beans are your protein of choice, pair it with food whose protein content can complement them. Rice is a great option.

Iron The body can get two types of iron — heme and non heme.

Heme, which comes from animals, is absorbed the best. But nonheme from vegetarian sources like quinoa, lentils and tofu are also good. Katie suggests pairing it with sources of vitamin C to enhance it.

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Calcium and Vitamin D You can find calcium and vitamin D fortified in milk alternatives like coconut, almond and soy milk. If you’re not a fan of those, Katie recommends taking a calcium and vitamin D pill.

Friday, April 14 | 7 PM | Indiana University Southeast Activities Building

Swap out items for vegan-friendly products In addition to adopting a plantbased diet, veganism includes using ethical products. When deciding to go vegan, the way you transition your belongings is up to you.

“There are two different options you have. One, you donate them or give them to someone who doesn’t mind what they’re made of. Or you take the product that you currently have and use it to its full life because it’s already happened. Then, the next time you just purchase something that’s vegan-friendly.”

B-12 Naturally only found in animal products — with the exception of seaweed — B-12 is one nutrient to be mindful of. Katie suggests taking a standard multivitamin that contains B-12 daily.

NIGHT OF THE FUTURE STARS

Look into organizations, resources and community networks Organizations like Mercy for Animals have online starter guides, along with how-to’s for ordering at various restaurants. There are also apps on the market that can scan products to determine their veganstatus. Connecting with groups — offline or online — is another way to aid your transition.

“There’s Facebook groups, there’s chat rooms. You’d be surprised how many people (there are). More and more people are switching over to plant-based diets.”

Katie Shepherd is a registered dietitian at the IU Health Center.

She shares her tips for getting key nutrients in a vegan diet.

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Be prepared for some opposition Family and friends may not always agree with your decision.

“They’ll probably get some backlash from some of their friends — that’s to be expected. But never be combative. You want to give off an image that you aren’t trying to shove your beliefs down their throat because that’s a big stereotype of vegans.”

Tips from a dietitian

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ASK THE EXPERTS We sought advice from experts within the interior design industry to give you a little taste of different perspectives around the country.

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Sean Anderson, Sean Anderson Design Memphis, Tennessee “A good way to connect with nature during the spring is to bring in low maintenance plants such as succulents.

Use this transition as a time for spring-cleaning by repurposing old things into more functional pieces. Since painting a room isn’t necessarily plausible in a temporary living space, add pops of color to smaller objects while keeping larger more provisional items a neutral tone.”

Meg Caswell, Meg Caswell Style Chicago, Illinois “As college living is temporary, spending a lot of money is unnecessary. Don’t wait for the flowers to bloom, bring your own plants into your space. Switch out heavy prints with something new and fresh. This can be done by simply cutting out magazine images and replacing old artwork. Adding a splash of color to any space can easily be done by adding bright throw pillows and/or adding a fresh coat of paint to an existing piece.”

In with the new

As seasons change, so can your living space

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ith spring representing growth, it is good to take this upcoming seasonal change as an opportunity to spruce up an existing space with something more refreshing and invigorating.

Adding even the smallest touch to a room is all it takes to develop an uplifting environment that will leave you feeling restored.

As students, decorating your dorm or apartment space may seem like an impossible mission, but don’t let the size of your living area stop you from expressing your style for the awakening spring season.

Here are a few small tips to consider when turning a stark white room into a creative and innovative space.

1. Repurposed pieces No one says buying new is always the answer. Restoring an old item into something more useful to you and your space is simple yet affordable.

Thrift stores and antique shops are overflowing with merchandise that can be adjusted to something more personal to you. Whether it’s an old piece of artwork or a renovated bookshelf, there are many ways to make inexpensive items more functional.

2. Bright colors in pillows and accent accessories A simple way to brighten up even the smallest space is by adding vibrant and energetic colors throughout. A minimal amount of color can go a long way; just be careful not to overdo it as that can make a space feel cluttered and chaotic.

3. Texture, texture, texture As college students, we are surrounded by technology and can easily lose sight of our sense of touch. Adding a simple faux fur blanket or textured headboard is an easy way to regain our sense of feel while giving a seemingly small space more dimension.

4. Mixed patterns Mixed patterns can surely create an interesting statement to what might be a bland design. Using a mixed pattern comforter or throw blanket can easily anchor large furniture pieces to an existing space that may otherwise be quite ordinary.

5. Bring plants indoors Easy-to-care-for plants are a good way to bring life into a space while providing a pop of color that we would normally only see outside.

According to Pantone’s 2017 color of the year, “Greenery” is meant to signify renewal and revival. It can be described as “Nature’s Neutral.”

Plants are also beneficial for helping to keep the air clean as well.

WO R D S A N D P H OTO S B Y M AT T H E W C AYOT

Kerrie Kelly, Kerrie Kelly Design Lab Sacramento, California “The sunnier season is officially upon us. Stowing away thicker, nubbier textures and materials and substituting them with gauzier fabrics such as linen and cotton can lighten a space’s mood.

Colors and elements found in nature also help communicate a light and springy look. Think floral patterns on throw pillows and/or adding a fiber or natural rug in lieu of thicker and denser patterned materials.”

Tom Vriesman, Design Studio Vriesman Indianapolis, Indiana “Spring is about new beginnings: editing, cleaning, and brightening things up.

Strip older bed linens and replace them with a crisp, clean white coverlet accented with yellow-green throw pillows.

Instead of covering your walls with a multitude of posters and photos, get a hold of one larger scaled piece for maximum impact. Implement a brightly colored rug in a bold, graphic pattern that reflects the burst of color happening just outside the window.”

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C O N F E S S I O N S

OVERSEAS & OVERWHELMED When in Florence, do as the Florentines do?

M

y first days in Florence were, in a way, similar to my arrival at IU my freshman year. Florence was a place I have never lived before, I hadn’t an idea what school would be like here and I was simply trying to find the people I would become friends with over the semester.

While I’ve found myself adjusting well to the pace of Florence, with roommates whom I’m already planning weekend adventures to other countries with, I’ve realized that everyone’s transition to life, in practically a

Thank God for Google Translate

Manny Rodriguez

As a senior at Oswego State University of New York, Manny Rodriguez knew that Florence, Italy, was going to be his last chance to truly travel.

He decided to opt for an authentic experience with a homestay at the apartment of a 60-year-old Italian woman and her two adult children.

However, he never could have expected the surprise that awaited him upon arrival.

“I just walked in and the first thing I said, I studied up some greetings beforehand just in case, and I said, ‘Parli inglese?’ and she said, ‘No.’ And I freaked out,” says Manny. “I didn’t know what to say after that,” Manny Rodriguez had never taken an Italian class before arriving in Florence,

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new country, can be very different.

For my classmates and friends, Manny Rodriguez and Haley Hudgens, from universities on opposite sides of the United States, experiences in the first few weeks in Florence proved just how easy or difficult a move across the sea can be.

However, no matter the circumstances, whether a student from IU, Oswego University or Bolder University, how an experience abroad can change ones life permanently rests in the hands of the person’s desire to grow through exposure to new cultures.

and he had no idea that he would be staying with a family that spoke no English. While many students studying abroad ease into the newness of a foreign country by living with fellow American students, Manny had to begin adjusting to life in Italy immediately.

“I’m a very patient person, but I feel really bad for her,” he says. “She has been really patient with me. But just imagine someone is in your house and you have to tell them this, this and that, and I can only say ‘bene,’ ‘ciao,’ ‘sì’ and ‘no.’ I’m very limited, and I’m just very thankful that she is patient with me.”

Manny said technology has been a literal lifesaver for the past couple weeks in Florence. During one of his first meals, he was having an allergic reaction to the food his host mom had prepared for him, and the only way he was able to communicate what was happening was through Google translate.

However, as time passes, living in a new space is already getting a little easier for him.

Ciao, America Haley Hudgens, on the other hand, has been living with two other American women studying abroad Haley whom she had Hudgens never met before arriving in Florence.

As a student at Boulder University, born and raised in Colorado, this is Haley’s first experience in Europe. The words “culture shock” aren’t in her

vocabulary, though.

Adjusting to life as a Florentine has come naturally to Haley, and every single little quirk of the city excites her.

“What secretly I love about Florence is that there are just different places for different things,” she says. “Like, you can’t go anywhere that has everything, like a department store. I love that there are specialized shops. And then just the whole smallness of this town is just really refreshing.”

The small differences between

PHOTOS BY ADELE POUDRIER, MANNY RODRIGUEZ AND HALEY HUDGENS

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“Even though I haven’t had many social interactions with Italians yet, they just seem like really social people, and it’s kind of refreshing how they talk to each other and just have real conversation, whereas in the U.S., everyone just stares at their phone. Also, I see so many people on the street acknowledge each other. Like the people in this town really know each other.”

She has already admitted that she can’t even imagine returning to the U.S. For her, transitioning to a new lifestyle in Europe isn’t frightening.

Instead, it’s a chance to learn a lesson from a place different from what she was used to.

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“I just want to grow. I just want to expand. I literally just want to know and do everything.”

OPTOMETRY

BY ADELE POUDRIER

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www.opt.indiana.edu INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 7

A home with four walls

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How something as simple as a bed can change your whole perspective on your future Words by Christine Fernando & photos by Yulin Yu INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 9

As night approached, Jerald Cribbs sprawled out across the concrete with his head resting on his backpack. He shut his eyes and tried to feel safe.

H

alf a mile away, Durrell Patton had draped himself over an old courthouse bench as he tried to sleep despite the car horns and bright headlights whizzing past him.

That was four years ago. Now, Jerald, age 46, and Durrell, age 52, have spent three and four years respectively in their new apartments complete with kitchens, bathrooms and beds.

When they aren’t working or volunteering at the food pantry, Jerald often plays on his PlayStation 3 while Durrell patrols the hallways with his new phone in hand – always ready to call the main office if trouble arises.

“I’m so thankful for these glasses and this phone.

Compared to what I had out there,” he said, gesturing to the window, “I got everything now.”

This transition was facilitated by Crawford Homes in Bloomington — an organization that provides housing, as well as emotional and medical support for more than 60 people facing longterm homelessness.

The individuals accepted into the program must have been homeless for at least a year and have some kind of physical, mental or

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developmental disability. The program managers also assess how vulnerable the person is to dying on the streets, especially due to medical reasons.

For Jerald, that medical reason was his diabetes. This condition is what led him to lose his job as a semi-truck driver, which in turn led him to homelessness. It was also the condition that caused him to contract chronic nerve damage in his feet and legs after other homeless people stole his medication for recreational use.

Danielle Sorden, director of Crawford Homes, said Jerald’s physical ailment is just one aspect of well-being that they target.

“We’re here to give them

whatever support they need,” she said. “These individuals have faced violence, assault, trauma, hopelessness and emotional distress during their time on the streets, so we really have to listen and help.”

But the transition to housing is not always easy.

The first year or so can involve trouble adjusting to a new environment.

For Jerald, seven years of homelessness made adapting to permanent housing especially difficult.

At first, he slept on the floor of his apartment because a comfortable bed had become unfamiliar to him. And during his first four months at Crawford, Jerald stayed in his room with his door locked as he grappled with

the strangeness of his new situation.

“It was definitely weird,” he said. “I kept falling out of bed.

I couldn’t remember what a bed was supposed to feel like.

I even locked myself in my room for months just trying to process everything that had changed.”

But Jerald’s initial experience is common among Crawford residents.

“We don’t expect much from them when they first come in,” Danielle said. “If they just want to stay in their rooms and take it all in, that’s fine. That’s normal.”

Durrell said the Crawford case managers are always there to help new residents transition from homelessness to housing by giving them focus. In addition, because residents often pay their own rent and have their own leases, they gain a new sense of purpose.

“They really keep you on top of things,” he said.

“They help you wake up and feel responsible. You see that this is your home, your lease, your responsibility, so it keeps you focused on why you’re there and how you’re moving forward.”

Despite any initial trouble with adjusting, Durrell appreciates the changes in his life.

“Beautiful,” he said.

“That’s all I can say. It’s been beautiful.”

Another reason life is now beautiful is because of the changes he has noticed in himself. One such change is that he no longer relies on alcohol — the vice that helped lead him to homelessness originally.

“Drinking was my nemesis, my kryptonite,” he said.

“I used to drink just to get through living on the streets, but now I don’t drink nearly as much. Still do from time to time, but nothing like before.

No, nothing like before.”

Mostly, these changes are hinged on his pride, which often got him into trouble during his years living on the street.

“I still got that pride,” he said. “But now I can handle it. When someone insults me or pushes my buttons, I don’t just react and get angry.

I’m calm. I think things over before I act.”

“I even locked myself in my room for months just trying to process everything that had changed.”

Jerald, on the other hand, said he’s still the same person as he was when he was homeless, but has seen changes in his ability to dream.

“I’m still the same guy, but I guess I think about the future more. Now I’ve got goals.”

These goals now include business ventures in the Philippines alongside his cousin who lives there. Once he receives his inheritance after his family’s old farm in Arkansas is sold, Jerald says he hopes to buy a collection of fishing boats and later a new house with his girlfriend, Romela.

“I really want to corner that market and get into the

fishing business. Then I want to get married, have a couple kids. I’m still young enough.”

This business and family is what Jerald sees as the next stage of his life.

For Durrell, this next stage involves his passion for cooking and the kitchen in his new home.

“I know you gotta start somewhere, but I don’t want to just stop at someplace like Burger King,” he said while looking at the Burger King sitting just outside his window.

“I really just want to be able to use my skills.”

Durrell dreams of working at a steakhouse.

“I really want that fast-pace and bustling environment of a steakhouse kitchen,” he said.

“It doesn’t even have to be a steakhouse. It could be Italian or whatever, just a place to test my culinary skills.”

For Jerald and Durrell, the next stages of their lives will require new transitions, more change and hard work.

But most of all, Danielle said the residents of Crawford are looking to realize their own hopes for the future while also supporting one another as they pursue their goals.

“It really is a community.

They cook for one another, they help each other out when someone has a problem and they support each other and help each other reach the goals they set out to achieve.”

Above A resident walks down a hallway in the apartment complex.

Crawford homes provides onebedroom apartments to the homeless who register at the Shalom Community Center.

Left Another Crawford resident Craig Bowles points to a photo on the wall of his living area. He has lived in the Crawford homes for four years.

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Marching to Zion

Having a baby wasn’t exactly part of their plan, but neither was returning to school without her.

An IU couple copes with the loss of their daughter.

Words and photos by Lindsay Moore

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N

one of it felt real.

Zenee’ Render thought about how she was going to deliver the news as she walked across the Stadium Crossing parking lot with the boy she had started seeing, Nike’ Millard.

The text two days prior asking to talk was not subtle — he knew something was up.

She stopped in front of his Honda Accord.

“Can I have a hug?” she asked.

They sat in the front seat, silently looking straight ahead as the rain came down around them. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she thought about how this might jeopardize their new relationship.

Finally, she said it.

“I’m pregnant.”

After a long pause Nike’ broke the silence.

“It’ll be ok.”

He kissed Zenee’ on the forehead and drove her home.

He then drove across the street and sat in the stadium parking lot. He called his brother who, a little tipsy, didn’t totally believe him.

He called his mom — she told him his life was about to change. * * * Zenee’ is always anxious.

She’s always expecting the worst.

When she excused herself during her dinner shift at Collins LivingLearning Center to pee on a drug store pregnancy test, she thought it would just calm her nerves.

Then the pink line appeared.

She was eight weeks pregnant and a junior studying psychology.

He was a journalism major catching up after missing a semester. They had just started being more than friends, now they were looking down the barrel of unexpected adulthood.

They discussed options.

Zenee’ knew immediately she wanted to have this baby, but she also knew it would hold

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Zenee’ reminisces over poems and photos that serve as a reminder of her daughter Zion.

them back academically and professionally. She didn’t want either of them to feel trapped.

“How do you tell people you want to keep this baby,” she said.

Even through the months of bad news that came after, she resolved not to change her mind.

She always wanted a family, even if it came earlier than she expected. When her grandmother passed away she prayed for strength and patience. Her prayers were answered but not how she had hoped.

She found out during finals week, shortly before she planned to go home to Indianapolis.

Her mother told her she would support her no matter what option she chose, but urged her to focus on ending the semester strong. Then the morning sickness hit in the middle of her Spanish final and she missed the rest of her exams.

When she returned to IU for the spring semester, Zenee’

started skipping her Friday classes to make trips up to Indy every four weeks for doctor’s appointments.

At 20 weeks, she was excited to learn the gender of her baby.

Her mother stood beside her as the technician squeezed gel onto her belly, which was just starting to show a baby bump. She had been binge watching “Gilmore Girls” and was hoping for a daughter.

Zenee’ could tell something was wrong. The technician was attempting small talk but trailing off and not answering any of her questions. She started to cry.

Nike’ came late. Zenee’ looked to him for answers as he tried to make sense of the ultrasound. She cried harder.

“Deformities” was the word the technician used, but with little explanation following it.

It was bad, but it could be worse, the doctor said. Zenee’ left without knowing the gender,

and made an appointment for a specialist the following Monday.

She skipped all her classes.

The specialist explained what the ultrasound showed: deformities on the heart, an abnormally curved spine and the likelihood that the lungs wouldn’t be sustainable.

There was talk of an omphalocele, meaning the baby’s organs, such as the intestines and liver, were forming outside of the abdomen.

Still, Zenee’ wanted to keep the baby. She was born blind in her right eye. She exceeded doctor’s expectations and she believed her baby would too.

Despite all the uncertainties surrounding her pregnancy, Zenee’ was right about one thing: she was having a girl. She and Nike’ decided to name her Zion, after the city of God. Every two weeks the specialist explained more medical jargon.

Every two weeks Zenee’ asked

the same question, “Is she going to be ok?”

Finally the specialist answered her.

“We’ve never seen a baby with these complications live,” he said.

Zenee’ asked him to leave immediately.

The option to terminate was still available but at a price.

Zenee’ was into her second trimester and past the 22week legal limit for abortions in Indiana. The procedure would cost thousands of dollars, not including the cost of traveling out of state to do so.

She decided to keep fighting.

Zion was part of her life now.

Zenee’ had three more appointments. The news never got better.

The deformities on Zion’s heart were identified as ectopia

cordis, meaning the organ was outside of the body — something that only happens to five to seven babies out of a million.

Zenee’ researched the outcomes and read about babies who lived for hours or even days with the same conditions as Zion.

She already felt cheated out of seeing her daughter grow up, she needed to at least meet her.

Zenee’ worried her baby’s survival rate was getting worse with every passing day. She wanted her now. She asked her doctors if they could schedule her cesarean section sooner.

“If we’re not waiting for her to be well enough to operate on, let’s take her now so she can live now and so we can have as much time as we can with her,” Zenee’ said to her doctor.

Zion heard her request. Two days later, when she was seven-

“She floated in his arms like a little princess.

She would have had him wrapped around her little finger.”

and-a-half months pregnant, Zenee’ went into labor.

After seven missed calls, Nike’ raced down Interstate 465 and met her at St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis, where she was being moved to an operating room.

Nike’ watched as doctors split Zenee’ open for a C-section.

Again, Zenee’ was looking to him for answers. She watched him intently and anxiously asked him to describe what was happening.

Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor” came over the speakers.

At 12:48 a.m. on June 6, Zion was born. The doctors handed her directly to Nike’.

“She floated in his arms like a little princess,” Zenee’ said. “She would have had him wrapped around her little finger.”

Zion didn’t cry or squeal to declare her arrival.

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he doctors didn’t make an announcement that she was born alive, despite the high odds of stillbirth.

Instead, Nike’ and Zenee’ watched Zion’s heart beat outside of her chest.

“That was really satisfying — even though we knew it wasn’t a good outcome — just to know she was alive,” Zenee’ said.

Zion was three pounds. Her hands were the size of her mother’s finger. She had her father’s nose, which made Zenee’ jealous. Zion didn’t open her eyes, but Zenee’ couldn’t help herself. She lifted one lid and saw brown. She told herself the other one was blue, just like hers.

Zenee’s favorite nurse, Jenny, told her Zion fought to stay with her parents.

“I’ve never seen a baby fight this hard,” Jenny said. “She really wants to meet you.”

Zion stayed alive for four hours.

For three days she laid in a bassinet next to Zenee’ in the hospital. She was clothed in a white dress repurposed from donated wedding dresses, lying peacefully as family and friends came to see her.

Soon after, Zion was cremated.

Zenee’s mom wears an urn necklace in the shape of heart to remember her. The couple said they hope to get necklaces for themselves in addition to urns for their homes.

“Sometimes it feels like it didn’t happen,” Nike’ said. “Until you see the evidence.”

Zenee’ spent the remainder of summer on bed rest. She lie in her room staring at Zion’s teddy bear from the hospital.

Nike’ visited her every day. After years of flirting and casually dating, Nike’ finally told her how deeply he cared about her. They said their relationship was strengthened by Zion. In August they officially started dating.

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There wasn’t time to mourn, Zenee’ said. The young couple, wanting a return to normalcy, came back to IU for the fall semester.

Zenee’ enrolled in 12 credit hours and resumed life as a student.

Nike’ picked back up where he left off as a junior. They’re a year away from graduating, again.

On Monday afternoons, Zenee’ sits in the same ecology and evolution class she did last year when she was carrying Zion.

“I fooled myself into thinking it would be easy,” she said.

She rang in the New Year thinking she could leave her pregnancy in the past but Zion is a permanent fixture in her life. She can’t forget her and she doesn’t want to.

Zenee’ turned 21 during her pregnancy, missing out on a quintessential college right of passage. Her friends invite her out in hopes of making up for lost time but it doesn’t feel right.

She should be at home making a bottle, exhausted from staying up all night with her daughter.

second guess — I am a mother,” Zenee’ said. “I feel the same things. I worried about my child, just how you worried about your child. It’s the same. I just don’t physically have a baby.”

Nike’ said it’s hard to see young children because it reminds him of the life he started to plan.

He still considers himself a father and aims to set an example for Zion.

“I try to use her as inspiration,” he said. “I try to keep in mind if she was still here. [I tell myself] work as if she was here and do what you’re supposed to for her — do better.”

Zenee’ struggles to find a purpose in the monotony of being a student again. She missed out on the excitement of all the firsts: the delighted giggles, the stumbling first words and first steps.

Zion changed everything, and she feels lost without her.

Her baby — who was the center of her life for 30 weeks and four hours — is gone.

Zenee’ started painting

“I don’t want anyone to second guess — I am a mother. I feel the same things. I worried about my child, just how you worried about your child.

It’s the same. I just don’t physically have a baby.”

“It already felt like it didn’t happen and for people to act like it didn’t really set me over the edge,” she said.

Zenee’ joined a support group of women in Bloomington who had lost a child. They shared craft ideas to memorialize their babies.

They confessed their jealousy of pregnant women. They lamented the pain of being overlooked on Mother’s Day. “I don’t want anyone to

again as a way to process these emotions. She finds herself painting triangles over and over, using similar colors and styles every time, because the three points have no true direction. Each color represents a different phase in her pregnancy.

Blue for the strange sense of calm she felt after leaving church the day she went into labor. Pink and red for the love she feels for her baby.Yellow for her new

beginning that faded into the green — jealousy she felt toward other mothers.

And purple for alexandrite, Zion’s birthstone.

When she was pregnant, she began a piece of an elephant with a baby, similar to a wooden one in her room that was passed on to her when her aunt died. After she lost Zion, she finished the piece.

Now, the mother is alone, but her trunk faces up for good luck.

Channeling emotion into art

From Nike’ and Zenee’

Photos of pieces painted by Zenee’ throughout her pregnancy.

Heaven “I used triangles to symbolize direction. No one really knows where Heaven is so it’s everywhere and no where. We also don’t know what it looks like but I bet it is a beautiful place. Blue for calmness, orang for excitement, red for loved ones , purple for Zion, and yellow for new beginnings. These are all things I picture when I think of heaven.”

5:05 a.m.

“This is just representative of the mood I felt when Zion passed away.

Once again triangles here show my lack of direction.

I felt lost.

The blue represents my calmness I felt. The pinkish, red is love. The green that turns to slight yellow is representative of a new beginning I had but the jealousy I felt towards the other mothers who got to take their babies home. And purple is for Zion. All the other colors over power the jealous- anger because in that moment I was just so happy to have met my baby girl.”

Untitled “I had an on/off relationship with painting.

I painted and stopped a lot while pregnant. I was painting this around the time we found out about her challenges. Elephants with their trunks up represent good luck.”

I remember writing a letter to my baby girl on my last day in the hospital.

I remember telling her we loved her and kissing her on her fore head. Leaving her was the hardest thing either of us ever had to do but we told ourselves she was in better hands. We had to tell ourselves that she was too perfect for this earth and Heaven just couldn’t wait to have her back.

— Zenee’

Zero words could explain the feeling I felt when I first laid eyes on you Innocent and peaceful you were On that day, my life changed forever Never would I be ungrateful again, because I’m thankful to have met you, my little angel.

— Nike’

INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 17

A WEEKEND

DIVIDED 18

INSIDE MAGAZINE l TRANSITION

Hopeful supporters and weary dissenters collide on Inauguration Day B Y LY D I A G E R I K E

All along the National Mall on Inauguration Day, Americans stood together to watch a transfer of power some believe will make America great again and others see as a threat to the foundational values of their country.

Most were there to celebrate — a sea of hopefuls in bright red hats waiting eagerly for Donald Trump became the 45th president of the United States.

People in line for the nonticketed admission areas to open talked about how they had been waiting since 4 a.m. just to be as close as possible to the proceedings.

Like waves, the reactions of the pro-Trump crowd ebbed and flowed.

As former opponent Hillary Rodham Clinton and her husband former President Bill Clinton took their seats onstage, a chorus of booing could be heard from the supporters.

The soon-to-be president’s entrance was met with a more positive reaction.

“U.S.A, U.S.A!” the crowd chanted as he moved to take the oath.

Despite the possibility of rain ruining his artwork, a young man showed his patriotism with face paint — half blue-withwhite stars, half red-and-white stripes — and a MAGA hat assuring his allegiance to the new administration.

Some people draped flags over their shoulders to assure other attendees that they supported America, Trump or Israel. Others used their makeshift capes to let their neighbors know they would not be tread on.

New York City’s infamous Naked Cowboy transferred to D.C. for the weekend to serenade the waiting audience. The street performer wore nothing but his signature cowboy hat and boots,

his guitar and a pair of briefs with “TRUMP” written in red and blue across the butt.

C-SPAN handed out buttons bearing Trump’s face while the National Parks Service used its buttons to commemorate the 58th Presidential Inauguration.

A small crowd clapped as a camouflage-clad young man told a group holding anti-deportation signs that they were wrong.

Trump only wanted to free America of all the bad people who are now allowed to cross the border, he told them.

“Sorry, dude,” someone else said to a grumbling Hillary Clinton supporter. “Sorry, it happened.”

Armed with signs and sarcasm, protesters stood unflinchingly next to their Trump-supporting counterparts.

When a portion of the crowd booed former First Lady Michelle Obama, a few young S E E C O L L I D E PA G E 2 0

“I could not sit by and let democracy fade away.

I felt like I had to bear witness and raise my voice, right at this moment.”

How a weekend’s opposing views set the tone for years to come B Y E M I LY E R N S B E R G E R

There is arguably no American city more socially vulnerable than Washington, D.C. Whatever happens federally affects the nation’s capital like a child influenced by the actions of their parents.

January 20 and 21 were no exception, when the inauguration of President Donald Trump brought America’s most hopeful and most fearful together. The tension the new administration brought nationally was palpable Friday. The hopefulness and resistance of his opposition dominated Saturday.

In one day, our nation’s political brand went from hope and change to American carnage. From hope for equality to hope for jobs. From affordable health care insurance to building a wall. This was less of a transition of power of politicians than it was of one jaded population to the next.

This is a shift in priorities and representation, not of just parties.

And for many, these priorities — refugee bans, decentralization of education — are as scary as what the new administration does not

want to work on: police brutality, background checks on guns, healthcare availability.

That’s what caused protestors to get violent following Trump’s speech and during his parade.

People afraid of what’s to come vandalized stores and police vehicles and lit cars on fire. About 200 people were reportedly arrested Friday. Plenty more were teargassed just by being near riots — myself and other reporters included.

The newly represented came to Washington in full force. There were people who supported him right away, and people who didn’t even think about voting for him in the primary.

There were people who have waited these last eight years — at minimum anyway, some people have been waiting their whole lives — for someone this confident, who wants to stop immigrants from taking their jobs.

There were people waiting a half mile out from the Capitol building earlier than 5 a.m. just to be in the same area as the president

of their dreams while he was sworn in. Some probably would have never been so motivated to even make a trip to Washington, D.C. if it were not for him.

“I will fight for you with every breath in my body, and I will never let you down,” President Trump promised.

In the same city were the people already let down — the outraged left, those afraid of oppression, and anyone who was not enthused by him.

There were those unamused by the violence and rhetoric of everyone that day, afraid rioters would damage the cause of anyone fighting for any kind of social justice and liberal cause. Everyone was together, but no one was unified.

The overcast, lightly rainy weather was the most fitting backdrop to the capital’s mood.

These rioters are not the same people who marched Saturday.

Over night, Make America Great Again caps were traded out for pussy hats. The emotionally estranged of Friday turned into S E E V I E W S PA G E 2 0

INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 19

C O L L I D E F R O M PA G E 1 9

adults wondered aloud if the action was disrespectful.

One girl thought it was, but her friend jokingly disagreed because of the Obama’s healthyliving-in-schools campaign.

“She took the muffins that I really liked away,” he said.

Others made unprompted comments.

“Pence is gay guys — he just came out!” a man screamed when the soon-to-be Vice President emerged from inside the Capitol.

At the front of general admission, 64-year-old Seattle native Trip Allen drew plenty of Trump supporters’ attention.

He wore a long yellow raincoat and carried a Black Lives Matter sign stuck with painter’s tape to a bright pink Thunderstick — an inflatable noisemaker passed out at sporting events to make

everyone as loud as possible.

“What about my life?” someone taunted a few feet behind Trip. “What about my life? I’m a white person. My life matters, too!”

Trip argued back that white people are already privileged, saying he was more concerned about the lives of his sister, who had come with him from Chicago and those of his young

adult children.

Even as a few more people joined in on the yelling, Trip did not become visibly frightened.

He said there was too much security for him to worry about anyone retaliating.

“I could not sit by and let democracy fade away,” Trip said.

“I felt like I had to bear witness and raise my voice, right at this moment.”

Security had specific regulations for the crowd about signs and banners at the inauguration. They demanded the posters be within certain dimensions and banned any poles or supports to hold up posters altogether. Trip’s sign was only slightly larger than a piece of computer paper, and he wasn’t using a traditional support to hold his message above the crowd.

The Thunderstick did

Over night, Make America Great Again caps were traded out for pussy hats ... And those who came as part of the self-proclaimed silent majority were, for the day, the mute minority.

V I E W S F R O M PA G E 1 9

the “yes we can” group of the last presidency. And those who came as part of the self-proclaimed silent majority were, for the day, the mute minority.

Nearly one million people came to D.C. to attend the Women’s March on Washington. Mothers and daughters, sisters, husbands, lovers, transgender people and those who also might not have felt compelled to D.C. otherwise filled some of the city’s major roads near the National Mall.

And though it was advertised as a women’s march, the crowd rebranded it as an everyone march: for any LGBT people, of any race, of indigenous people and their protections, for education and for the environment. “All issues are women’s issues” was one of the day’s proclamations.

“It was so inspirational and hopeful to see groups that would typically focus on their own agenda come together for others,” said IU law student Francesca Hoffman, who attended the Women’s March on Washington.

No arrests were made. No

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INSIDE MAGAZINE l TRANSITION

damage was done to businesses or cars.

Celebrity artists and intellectuals like Dr. Angela Davis even came out of the woodwork of history to share sentiments and strategies for resistance the next four years. While the most profound celebrity of Trump’s day, allegedly, was Toby Keith.

Metro stations were shut down Friday for logistics purposes.

Stations were shut down Saturday because of the unexpected influx of

people using the metro to get to the march. Commemorative inaugural gear was swapped out for “not my president” signs. In one day, hope and change of President Obama came back to drown out the havoc.

This is not to say the left is more peaceful, or that the Trump administration has it wrong, or that one day was more influential than the other. Both days are rightfully historic. But archetypes of each side — if we want to simplify America to two sides — got one big (or

“huge”) day each, all in one place, and it was undeniable one day was significantly calmer.

And as the tone transitioned drastically on one weekend in one city, America as a whole is transitioning into a realization that the opposing side is alive, well and ready to work for itself.

This is a transition into populism, rise of the friction and the shift from unstated to a codified social cold war. It is destined to be uglier before unification of any measure can be achieved, but the first step is for America to mature into adulthood and respect others’ concerns.

The differences in priority issues, demographics and psychographics of these sides are stark and have been for a long time. Eventually, America will have to see which will come out on top. For now, we are witnessing the incline to the peak of our differences.

“I’m just hoping for a respectful next four years,” IU sophomore and Trump supporter Hannah Kraus, said at the Inauguration.

P H O T O S B Y M AT T R A S N I C

not faze the group of soldiers standing on the other side of the crowd-control fence, but others were not so stoic.

“I would take a licking and not think a second about it if somebody’s gonna beat me up,” Trip said.

He was too far away for anyone at the Capitol to hear him, but that didn’t stop him from screaming obscenities at former President George W. Bush or calling Trump’s children the “children of the damned.”

Although he stood alone, many other dissenters also had the same idea to come watch the inauguration.

Georgetown freshman Taylor Kelleher and her friend Teresa Montenegro also a freshman, moved up to the fence to offer Trip security and solidarity with their presence.

As the three stood together,

ABOUT THE WEEKEND Some quick facts about the inauguration and the Women’s March

the students turned their backs to the All Lives Matter crowd and did not try to argue the politics of the moment.

Teresa wore a Bernie Sanders shirt to the ceremony, but the two women said they did not attend the inauguration for the sake of protesting.

“We thought we should be here whether or not we agree with it,” Taylor said.

The two said they are concerned for Trump’s presidency because of what it might mean for them as queer women.

“Even walking here today, it still hasn’t settled in, but I think it’s important either way to be here,” Teresa said.

They said they weren't too concerned about their safety at the inauguration, but the threat of the future still weighed on them.

“I think we’re tense,” Teresa said. “As two queer people in a non-majority group, I think it’s uncomfortable.”

In the middle of the partisanship even the National Mall itself became a political polarizer.

The usual grassy expanse of the Mall took shelter under white plastic panels put down by the Parks Service.

It saved the shoes of everyone who may have otherwise been stuck in the mud as well as the Park Service’s work on maintaining the lawn, but it failed to keep Trump’s ego clean.

Although there is no official number, the D.C. Department of Homeland Security and Emergency Management estimated before the ceremony that between 800,000 and 900,000 people would be in attendance. This meant a

large crowd would be there to celebrate the transition of power, but it did not fill the whole Mall.

On Twitter and TV, Trump and his team argued otherwise, but large swaths of white space remained in different areas of the Mall like the half-filled pages at the end of the chapters of a book.

A young girl — her candidate allegiance undeterminable from the plain winter clothes she wore — used the temporary white, plastic flooring to her advantage to glide around in a pair of black Heelys as she and her mother headed toward the information booth.

All the while, soldiers lined the fences, stationed wherever the barricades separated one entrance from the next.

Throughout the ceremony, they rarely turned around, exercising their self-discipline to keep their eyes on the impassioned civilians.

When?

Where?

How many?

Why?

Friday and Saturday, Jan. 20 and 21, 2017

Washington, D.C.

According to Washington Metro Area Transit Authority, there had been 193,000 trips taken as of 11 a.m. on Friday. Washington Post reports the daily Metrorail total for Friday was 570,557 riders. The Metro ridership as of 11 a.m. on Saturday was 275,000 and the total ridership for the day reached 1,001,616.

Thousands flocked to Capitol Hill on Friday for the inauguration of President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence. On Saturday, thousands also took to the streets in Washington, D.C. to march and defend women’s rights and equality. Many others took to the streets in their own towns across the globe to march in solidarity.

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SPORTING A NEW JERSEY Keeping up with the pace of the big leagues

T

he transition from college sports to the professional level can be a grind for any athlete.

While in college, you aren’t just there to play a sport. There are many other things athletes have to take care of aside from his or her sport such as school and other organizations. Days usually start early in the morning and end late at night.

Once their college career is over, the transition begins for athletes who decide to test out the pro ranks without these other distractions.

Former IU soccer star Tanner Thompson is experiencing this transition firsthand. Tanner was selected with the 67th overall pick in the fourth round of the 2017 MLS SuperDraft to MLS newcomers, Minnesota United.

“It’s pretty clean,” Tanner said of the transition thus far. “We just started training here and we’re getting into it gradually. As the days go we’re doing more and more. It’s a little bit faster than Indiana, the pace of the game, but I think Indiana did prepare me well.”

“Cut throat” is a phrase to describe what the Loomis,

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INSIDE MAGAZINE l TRANSITION

California native called MLS compared to the college ranks of IU. He repeated, however, that IU prepared him well for this opportunity he now has.

During his twisting tale in Bloomington, Tanner had a lot of success on the pitch. He earned many All-American honors, won the Big Ten Midfielder of the Year award the past two seasons and was named a first-team AllBig Ten nominee multiple times.

He was the gold standard for IU soccer and he showed that on the pitch.

The IU captain was a fascinating player to watch.

Pulling the strings in the midfield, Tanner made himself a must watch. Opposing teams had nightmares dealing with him even though he stood at just 5’7.

Tanner was the only IU player selected in the 2017 SuperDraft.

The process was a grind, but Tanner seemed to take a positive approach to it. When asked about where he thought he would get picked, he was very frank.

“I expected to go a little bit earlier, but I fell to a spot that I really like. It’s a great fit for me. I’m happy I have this opportunity to come out in preseason with Minnesota. I have

some family in Minnesota so it ended up working perfectly for me.”

The draft can take you many different winding directions.

Teams are trying to figure out their future and have a lot of variables to juggle. In fact, Tanner said he was in touch with a few other teams prior to Minnesota. Ultimately, he found himself in what he said was a good situation.

Through the entire process, his dad, Gregg, and brother, Tommy, gave him support and advice. He said his dad is with him in Tucson, Arizona where Minnesota is training in the preseason while he talks with his brother, who is with the San Jose Earthquakes in MLS, nearly everyday. He has also talked with IU Coach Todd Yeagley who coached him during his four seasons in Bloomington.

Tanner said their advice was to just go out there and play his game, take advantage of the opportunity, and show them he deserves a spot. His transition to being in MLS is in full swing.

“The first couple sessions, getting the nerves out, new environment, new coaches, new team, but then after that the

soccer takes care of itself and you get more comfortable, you get more comfortable with the guys. You start not thinking about all of the nerves. The nerves just kind of go away and you just play like you’ve played the last 18 years of my life.”

BY JAKE THOMER

P H O T O B Y N O B L E G U YO N

A postcollege mindset Advice from the Inside editor About 11 weeks.

That’s how much time IU seniors have to finish planning their transition into life postcollege. Before I get into things to think about regarding last minute preparations, let me just go on record by saying: that’s not a lot of time, but that’s enough time.

With that being said, here a few things to think about when you’re exploring your options after you receive your diploma.

If you’re staying in the area Consider other activities other than your job or hanging out with your friends whom might be staying with you. What does the city offer that you can get involved in? Charities?

Volunteer work? If you’re going to make Bloomington your area, start doing that now! Why wait?

If you’re headed back to your hometown Maybe you want to save money, maybe you love your family or just love your hometown. Great! How can you transfer your skills back home and build up your community? You have time to get in contact with others back home to set up not only profitable work but nonprofitable work as well.

Make your hometown flourish and show off your newfound knowledge!

“As the days go we’re doing more and more. It’s a little bit faster than Indiana, the pace of the game, but I think Indiana did prepare me well.”

Above Midfielder Tanner Thompson dribbles the ball up the field against Stanford on Sept. 4.

If you’re moving away Think about moving expenses thoroughly. How will your things they get there? How much does a rental truck cost? Can you store some things in a unit before you find a permanent place? Moving is a big step and you will want to be prepared.

Also, find things to do! Those first couple weeks in a new place can be tough and having a social circle can aid in getting through your new transition.

If you’re undecided You’re not alone! Deciding whether to go here or there can be overwhelming. It’s ok if you don’t have an immediate plan. In the meantime, think about what interests you. What did you do during your downtime in school? Explore ways to relax where you can clear your mind to eventually make a decision for your future.

Congrats on graduating. #FutureAlum

BY KENNEDY COOPWOOD INSIDE.IDSNEWS.COM 23

E S S AY

Where NYC legs don’t quite cut it How one New Yorker is experiencing the effects of never attaining a license

I

’m from New York City, where, in short, teens don’t do a lot of driving.

I spent four years taking two different subway lines to and from high school. I lived in the borough of Brooklyn and my school was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, so the trip was a little less than an hour each way.

Spending so much time commuting allowed me to learn the subway system inside out.

During late nights I might opt for a taxi or an Uber, but in general the subway system was/ is thorough in its coverage across the city.

In November, as a second year student at IU, I finally realized that knowing subway systems and having this type of coverage has been unable to do one thing: teach me how to drive.

This wasn’t an issue at home, because no one drove. If I did have a license, my parents would probably have enlisted me in moving our car on days when alternate-side parking was in effect, which is a nightmare.

Back at school, not being able to drive became an issue once I moved off campus, where having a car is essential.

Returning to Bloomington

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y M I A T O R R E S

after break, my inability to drive felt amplified. Not being able to drive in New York meant not having to move the car, but here it meant not going places I should be traveling to, especially the supermarket.

I had gotten a learner’s permit that previous summer in NYC, and after returning I checked the Indiana BMV site to make sure I could get some practice in before winter break. I thought, maybe I could schedule the road test then and have a license Spring semester.

It turns out Indiana doesn’t

recognize out-of-state learner’s permits the way New York does. It won’t even give a permit or license to anyone who is here for school.

I took it as a blessing, not a curse.

A week or two after I got back from Thanksgiving in New York, applications at the Indiana Daily Student were sent out. I have my ambitions set on political journalism, so naturally I wanted to cover the politics beats.

To quote Billy Joel (and later on Nas), I was still in a New York State of Mind. The F train in New York doesn’t stop in Bloomington, nor can it take me to the State

House in Indianapolis, not that I actually thought it would. How does one cover state politics by foot? Not very effectively, I thought to myself.

See, at home we have the concept of “New York legs.”

Having New York legs means if someone told me a walk would take ten minutes, I’d get there in five, and I’d be arriving with beverage and snacks from a bodega on the way.

New York legs couldn’t get me to Indianapolis, and apparently neither would my out-of-state learner’s permit.

I sucked it up and applied for other beats.

This wasn’t the worst thing in the world, since I’m happy with what I’m reporting.

Fortunately, writing about the school’s administration is not a driving-intensive beat.

Also, not knowing how to drive is not something I should be complaining about.

During and after Thanksgiving break, I had to grapple the fact that not being able to drive has become a speed bump in my environment, and now my career.

Luckily, it doesn’t have to last forever.

The urgency to learn is present, and although I cannot practice in Bloomington, it’ll be in the front of my brain the next time I go home.

BY JESSE NARANJO

Your IU student magazine Catch the next issue in April.

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