June 2022

EDITORIAL

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IHS TATTLER JUNE 2022 | VOL. 129 | NO. 10

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Established in 1892 Published Monthly www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School 1401 North Cayuga Street Ithaca, NY 14850 FREE

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EDITORIAL

How Access to Education in ICSD Affects Inequality

By THE TATTLER EDITORIAL BOARD

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iversity in Advanced Placement and Honors classes at Ithaca High School is concerningly lacking, a fact that can be seen in the annual Equity Report compiled by Ithaca City School District (ICSD). This issue has been brought up time and time again, yet no concrete cause or resolution is ever provided.

The course of one’s entire education is influenced by economic status, race, and early development years. While Ithaca is outwardly an extremely progressive city, the disparity in access and outcomes students have in our district is alarming.

The Tattler Editorial Board set out to investigate this concern and uncover information about education in Ithaca. Efforts already undertaken by the district are commendable, but there is still much more to be done.

Elementary Schools in ICSD In Ithaca City School District, there are eight elementary schools. Although these are all public schools and are therefore state-funded, the differences among outcomes of students from these schools signifies that something greater is at work. Ithaca City School District does provide bussing, and the zones created for schools are not completely geographical, but the demographics of these elementary schools are still quite different. For example—according to annual financial and demographic reports shared by the district—Beverly J. Martin and Enfield Elementary Schools have the highest percent of economically disadvantaged students.

In fact, the percentage is almost double that of schools such as Cayuga Heights, Northeast, Belle Sherman, Fall Creek, and Caroline (all within 30-45 percent, compared to 70-75 percent in the previously mentioned schools). The performance of students from these schools is strongly correlated with the socioeconomic status of the families who have children attending these schools. According to exams such as the English Language Arts (ELA) assessments and New York State math exams, students from the schools in ICSD with the highest percent of economically disadvantaged students have a considerably lower average reading and math proficiency than students in the district and state as a whole.

The Finances The Tattler spoke with Amanda Verba, the Chief Operations Officer at ICSD, about the distribution of funding among elementary schools.

The findings were surprising: schools with a lower average household income demographic receive more funding per pupil than the schools with high household incomes. This is largely due to changes made by the Every Student Succeeds Act of 2018 (ESSA), that provided more funding for public schools and required greater financial transparency. Schools now receive thousands more dollars in funding than they did pre-pandemic. There were increases in total instructional spending, funding for Special Education programs, Board of Cooperative Education Services (BOCES) programs, English Language Learners/ Multilingual Language Learners (ELL/MLL) services, and “pupil services” (student counselors, nurses and phycologists, etc).

Although these are wonderful improvements, the continuing differences in student outcomes must be attributable to something. The Tattler conducted more specific investigations into the district’s actions, and found the following: There are several flawed systems in the district that must be addressed, such as the results and issues with open enrollment, the middle school math system, and the lack of diversity in high school classes.

Open Enrollment Given the recent redistricting in Ithaca and the attempt to transport students from one area to another with buses, why are the demographics of elementary schools still so different? One reason for this is that ICSD has a policy of open enrollment, where parents may choose to send their children to a different school than they’re zoned for. However, buses are not provided for these students, so this option is not truly open to low-income families, because of the time commitment and expenses needed to get their children to and from school everyday.

Editor-in-Chief

Jinho Park ’22

editor@ihstattler.com News Editor Mukund Gaur ’24 news@ihstattler.com Opinion Editor Louisa Miller-Out ’22 opinion@ihstattler.com Features Editor Ruby LaRocca ’24 features@ihstattler.com Arts Editor Katie Lin ’22 arts@ihstattler.com Sports Editor Aitan Avgar ’22 sports@ihstattler.com Literary Editor Raia Gutman ’22 literary@ihstattler.com Back Page Editor Adowyn Ernste ’22 backpage@ihstattler.com Center Spread Editor Frances Klemm ’23 centerspread@ihstattler.com Copy Editor Adam Saar ’22 copy@ihstattler.com Photography Editor Hannah Shvets ’23 photo@ihstattler.com Graphics Editor Yasmeen Alass ’24 graphics@ihstattler.com Layout Editor Ella Keen Allee ’22 layout@ihstattler.com Business and Advertising Sammy Deol ’22 business@ihstattler.com Webmaster Tania Hao ’24 web@ihstattler.com Distribution Managers Evie Doyle ‘24, Addie Hitz ’23 distribution@ihstattler.com Archivist Alice Burke ’23 archivist@ihstattler.com Social Media Kadek Nawiana ’22 sm@ihstattler.com Faculty Advisor Deborah Lynn advisor@ihstattler.com

EDITORIAL

Editor-in-Chief

Frances Klemm ’23 editor@ihstattler.com News Editor Mukund Gaur ’24 news@ihstattler.com Opinion Editor Alice Burke ’23 opinion@ihstattler.com Features Editor Ruby LaRocca ’24 features@ihstattler.com Arts Editor Hannah Shvets ’23 arts@ihstattler.com Sports Editor Caedmon Sethupathy ’25 sports@ihstattler.com Literary Editor Tania Hao ’24 literary@ihstattler.com Back Page Editor Natalie Patrone ’25 backpage@ihstattler.com Center Spread Editor Valentina Lebret ’25 centerspread@ihstattler.com Copy Editor Addie Houle-Hitz ’23 copy@ihstattler.com Photography Editor Ruby Zawel ’25 photo@ihstattler.com Graphics Editor Yasmeen Alass ’24 graphics@ihstattler.com Layout Editor Claire Park ’25, Assata Doha ’24 layout@ihstattler.com Business and Advertising Taran Knutson ’25 business@ihstattler.com Webmaster Colby Bittner ’24 web@ihstattler.com Distribution Managers Aliza Proulx ’24 distribution@ihstattler.com Archivist Maggie Bonassar ’23 archivist@ihstattler.com Social Media Grace Lim ’23 sm@ihstattler.com Student-Life Correspondent Ella Avgar '24 correspondent@ihstattler.com Faculty Advisor Deborah Lynn advisor@ihstattler.com

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to low-income families, because of the time commitment and expenses needed to get their children to and from school everyday. According to data compiled from ICSD, Tompkins County, the IRS, and the U.S Census Bureau, a shocking 118 children out of the 262 zoned for BJM and 127 out of 290 from Enfield attend other schools.

The issue with this is that even when school zones are created to minimize racial and classbased segregation, parents can still ensure that their children don’t attend certain schools, due to the underlying assumption that schools with more economically disadvantaged students and more students of color will be worse in quality.

Much of children’s learning comes from students around them, so homogeneous classrooms create additional difficulties for lower income students that cannot access additional resources and help outside of school.

Middle Schools in ICSD Previously, ICSD 5th grade teachers would recommend whether or not students should be on an accelerated “track.” From there on, there were two math tracks in which students could follow; the “accelerated” track where one takes an advanced math class in sixth and seventh grade, followed by Algebra in eighth grade, or the regular track, with Algebra in ninth grade.

This allowed “accelerated” students to take higher-level math classes in high school, and have the opportunity to take Calculus as a senior.

Unsurprisingly, wealthier white students were recommended for this course much more often than students of color or low income. From 2017 to 2018, only 2 percent of students in Algebra were Black or African American, and 4.1 percent were Hispanic. 8.8 percent of students qualified for Free and Reduced Price Lunch (FRPL). Math teachers in ICSD—such as IHS Geometry and Pre-Calculus BC teacher Steve Weissburg—met to discuss an alternative system. Most were in favor of beginning to de-track education in Ithaca to fight inequalities. The district responded to concerns about internal bias and racism by agreeing to eliminate this system.

Instead, the middle schools now have students all taking the same level math classes until 8th grade, when they may test into Algebra. (Last year, this option was not even available. It’s not

clear what the plan is for future years). As Mr. Weissburg noted when we brought this topic up with him, the same students who would have been recommended in fifth grade for the accelerated course ended up in Algebra. There were no significant changes in the demographics of these classes, and the differences between students based on socioeconomic class and race continued (in the 2019-2020 school year, when the tracking was abolished, 0.8 percent of students in Algebra as eight graders were Black, 8.4 percent were Hispanic, and 12.6 percent qualified for FRPL).

The percent of both Hispanic and low-income students in 8th grade Algebra increased, which signifies this new method may have helped, but the numbers go up and down from there; economically disadvantaged students and students of color are still not proportionally represented in these classes. When more years have passed and more data has been collected, the issue could be re-examined.

A flawed system was taken and made only slightly less flawed, since it is undoubtedly (and backed up by the statistics) easier to pass the entrance exam for students with more socioeconomic advantages, even if they took the same classes as their peers previously. Based on the math proficiency statistics from elementary schools, students already enter Dewitt and Boynton with differing levels of math skills; this makes it harder for some students to catch up to other students by the time they need to take the exam. The issues that were not properly addressed in elementary cannot be so easily solved simply with the elimination of the math tracking system.

High School De Facto Segregation As previously mentioned, classes at Ithaca High School become less and less diverse higher in the education system. According to the most recent ICSD Equity Report (2020-2021), 36.4 percent of all IHS students are enrolled in one more AP classes, compared to 9.9 percent of Black students, and 14.6 percent of students who qualify for free and reduced lunch. The same pattern is seen in secondary co-curricular activities such as Fine & Performing Arts, where 7.6 percent of all students participate, compared Continued on page 4

The Tattler is the monthly student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. All currently-enrolled students at Ithaca High School are welcome to submit writing and photographs. As an open forum, The Tattler invites opinion submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Email submissions to editor@ihstattler.com or mail letters to: The Tattler 1401 North Cayuga Street Ithaca, NY 14850 Send submissions by August 13 to be included in the September issue. The Tattler reserves the right to edit all submissions. All articles, columns, and advertisements do not necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff.

To read The Tattler online, visit our website at www.ihstattler.com.

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EDITORIAL

How Access to Education in ICSD Affects Inequality Continued from page 3 to 4.3 percent of Black students and 5 percent of students who qualify for free and reduced lunch. When you look at graduation rates, and marking period grade percentages, the same trends are evident. The ICSD Equity Report Card is accessible online (scan the QR code at the end of this editorial) and The Tattler would encourage all who have the time to look at how, across all categories, when race or economic class is selected in the bar on the left, the numbers drop.

By the time a student reaches their senior year, they are likely to see the exact same students throughout the day (even during gym classes, which revolve around science classes and labs). At IHS, AP and Honors students have practically no interactions with students taking Regents classes, creating the sense of two different worlds in one school. This is due to the different paths students are set on as early as elementary school, and it perpetuates lack of awareness students have of students different from themselves. The internal biases all people go through life with are difficult to fight when they don’t come in contact with the very people they may have prejudice towards.

The segregation along race and class lines in high school cannot be fully understood or prevented when students already show huge discrepancies in performance as third, fourth, and fifth graders. The attempts of the middle school to integrate classes may have been well-intentioned, but are inadequate because it may already have been too late Where Do We Go From Here?

Through our process speaking to Amanda Verba and Steve Weissburg, along with consulting financial and demographic reports, it’s evident that our district truly has made changes to eliminate inequities. However, as the difference in test scores and AP enrollment suggests, some students may have advantages over others due to the early education they received and their access to resources. The open enrollment option and the lack of transportation for students interested in it renders the attempts to redistrict and diversify schools mostly ineffective. The Tattler urges ICSD to reconsider this system; either students go to the school to which they are zoned, or all students should have equal access to the school they wish to attend. The latter option would be extremely difficult to implement, especially with current bus driver shortages, so a discussion about the elimination of the option should be held. Additionally, the extremely well-staffed help rooms at IHS (with a section for English and Social Studies, as well as Math and Science) would be a great addition to elementary and middle schools. These would function differently than at the high school because students don’t have as much freedom to go where they would like, but they could be available during lunch, before and after school, and throughout the day with a pass from a teacher. Students may need extra help earlier on, and this would allow economically disadvantaged students to reach their full academic potential. The accelerated math system was—and still is—flawed, but having math support during and after school could help seventh graders interested in testing into Algebra. The ideal solution, however, would be allowing students to choose which math track they take, and having teachers work on dispelling fear and confusion about these math courses.

Additional transparency about where funding goes is also vital; although there are breakdowns every year for the individual schools and their spending in different categories, the terms

are extremely vague. What educational changes have been made with the increase in federal funding? Knowing this would allow parents and students at ICSD to speak out about changes that could be made to help them succeed. Academic Intervention Support (AIS) labs, for example, are used by many students, and parents would most likely feel more confident knowing that their taxpayer dollars are funding these sorts of programs.

The answers to the questions about differing outcomes that The Tattler originally had were not as clear as we had hoped; many different factors play into the two very different worlds which ICSD students inhabit. Nonetheless, many new roots to the district inequity issue were illuminated that should be shared with the rest of the district so we can effectively counteract this problem. Focusing this conversation on open enrollment, transportation, AIS labs and Help Rooms, financial transparency, and the encouragement of students of all backgrounds to take advanced classes would be a great step towards a better district.

Scan to view the ICSD Equity Report

NEWS EDITORIAL

Congressional Redistricting Creates Opportunities for Political Newcomers

By ALIZA PROULX

Note: This article was written prior to the redrawing of the New York district map.

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hen the process of drawing new congressional districts began after the 2020 census, Democrats sensed an opportunity to seize House seats in parts of Central New York that have been historically held by Republicans. The resultant new congressional map combined the most Democratic-leaning parts of three former congressional districts into a newly expanded 22nd district that leans heavily Democratic— including the cities of Syracuse, Cortland, and Ithaca—with no incumbent. John Katko, a Republican who has represented the 22nd District since 2015, has announced that he is not running for re-election. Additionally, the former representative Tom Reed from the 23rd District (which included Tompkins County on the previous congressional map) resigned on May 10, 2022, ending his streak of 12 years in Congress. The new maps, and the lack of an incumbent, prompted eight candidates (six of which are Democrats) to seek the 22nd district seat.

However, the new congressional map was recently struck down by the New York Court of Appeals as unconstitutional, meaning that it must be redrawn and finalized by May 20, 2022.

The new map will be created by an independent expert, subject to Court approval. Primary elections for the House of Representatives, originally scheduled for June 28, will now take place on August 23. Nevertheless, the eight candidates have continued building their campaigns, and each have unique backgrounds and priorities that are worth looking into. Regardless of which district Tompkins County ultimately falls into, there are three candidates from the county that will still be vying for our votes: Vanessa Fajans-Turner, Josh Riley, and Mike Sigler.

Democratic candidate Vanessa Fajans-Turner is an Ithacan who was born on Eddy Street and attended Ithaca City School District from kindergarten through 12th grade. She is a self-identified progressive who aligns herself with politicians such as Senator Elizabeth Warren and Representative Alexan-

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dria Ocasio Cortez, and makes it very clear that her top priority is solving the climate crisis. Fajans-Turner is currently the executive director of the non-profit BankFWD, which works on influencing major financial institutions to gradually stop financing the fossil fuel industry, and has worked for the United Nations Development Program. In Congress, she plans to continue the push to ban offshore drilling and fracking on federal lands, preserve water and land resources by preventing runoff and algae blooms, and center climate in international discussions.

Fajans-Turner is also particularly passionate about attacking banks for what she sees as counterproductive contributions to climate change—she has already led the way by closing her Bank of America account in response to their continued financing of fossil fuels.

Next, another Ithacan—although this time not a native—is Democratic candidate Josh Riley. Riley grew up in Endicott, NY, and builds his campaign on his working-class heritage. Thus, his core issues are centered around his goal of rebuilding Upstate New York as a place where working-class families can succeed through the hard work ethic that characterized his upbringing.

His plan for improving the economy, known as RISE (Revitalize, Innovate, and Strengthen the Economy), includes ensuring Upstate New Yorkers can compete for jobs by enacting fair trade deals, investing in industries that support American production and reducing reliance on imports, and preparing people for the workforce with tuition-free community colleges and the Workforce Investment and Opportunity Act (an act with the goal of providing education and training for job-seekers). Additionally, RISE involves shifting the tax burden to target the top 1 percent of income-earners rather than the working class, investing in infrastructure that addresses critical improvements in areas such as transportation and internet access, and supporting the PRO (Protecting the Right to Organize) Act which would ensure that labor unions can continue to assemble and advocate for their rights as the working class.

The third candidate from Tompkins County is Republican Mike Sigler, who resides in Lansing with his family. Sigler is a longtime politician of 21 years, and has served in the Tompkins County Legislature for 12 years. While other candidates in the race criticize the so-called “political elites,” Sigler is not worried about his career being used against him, believing that his duty is to be involved in the community. Sigler is one of the few Republicans in the heavily Democratic-leaning Tompkins County Legislature—a fact that Sigler believes makes him the Republican that can win in a historically Democratic district.

Sigler works for Park Advertising and believes that his business experience has helped him to understand the core challenges facing Central New York: infrastructure, tax, labor, inflation, and unnecessary bureaucracy.

In the remainder of the field, there are five other candidates from outside Tompkins County; all based in Onondaga County—which may or may not be in the same district when the final maps are drawn. The second Republican candidate in the race, Brandon Williams, contrasts himself with Sigler by framing himself as a political “outsider” who is sacrificing his own small software company to jump into politics and “save” Central New York from liberal policies. opportunity for Democrats to win a seat in the House of Representatives—a major change for Tompkins County after 612 Continued on page

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NEWS

Congressional Redistricting Creates Opportunities for Political Newcomers Continued from page 5 Democratic candidate Sarah Klee Hood—a Town Board member from Dewitt—uses a similar tactic and describes herself as a “homegrown grassroots candidate” from a working-class background without political connections. However, her positions differ from Williams in that her priorities are childcare, healthcare (specifically women’s reproductive health), and middle-class representation. Chol Majok, a Democrat with years of local political involvement in Syracuse, is unique in that he is a South Sudanese refugee. He uses this experience to advocate for better affordable housing in poor urban communities, as well as supporting an expanded health care plan and promoting trade schools as a form of alternative education. Francis Concole, another Democratic candidate, is a Syracuse native and Iraq War Veteran whose goal is to fight for the middle class through affordable health care, accessible education, and clean infrastructure. And finally, Sam Roberts—another Syracuse-born Democrat and former member of the Onondaga County Legislature and the State Assembly—has five simple priorities: jobs for the working class, quality public education, affordable healthcare, climate change, and public safety.

While the congressional map is still not set in stone, the 2022 congressional race in Central New York provides a significant opportunity for Democrats to win a seat in the House of Representatives—a major change for Tompkins County after 12 years of representation by Republican Tom Reed.

Leaked Supreme Court Draft Opinion Would Strike Down Roe v. Wade

By LOUISA MILLER-OUT

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n early May, a leaked draft of a Supreme Court opinion ignited the nation. The opinion—written in February by Bush-appointed Justice Samuel Alito—revealed that the Court was on the precipice of overturning Roe v. Wade, the landmark case that enshrined the right to an abortion until 24 weeks of gestation, the line of fetal viability, in all fifty states. Justice Alito called the case “egregiously wrong from the start,” complaining of its “weak” reasoning and “damaging consequences.” The leaked draft attacks the half-century-old precedent set by Roe by allowing the state of Mississippi to ban abortions after 15 weeks in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. All three of Trump’s appointees, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett—as well as Clarence Thomas, who is another Bush

appointment—sided with Alito. It’s important to note that this draft is not a final verdict and the Justices are not locked into their positions, though they are unlikely to change.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, 26 states are certain or very likely to ban abortion soon after Roe is overturned, covering large areas of the South and Midwest. Of these, 13 have so-called “trigger laws” that would illegalize abortion immediately, including Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Tennessee, and Texas. These geographic areas have the highest population of Black and brown people in America, and also have extremely high poverty rates. As a result, the incarceration of people seeking abortion, as well as healthcare and transportation providers, may disproportionately affect these already marginalized communities. Critics of abortion bans also note that as clinics close and safe methods of abortion become increasingly scarce, people who cannot afford to travel out of state for an abortion— let alone finance one and attend multiple appointments at a clinic—will have less access to the procedure than economically privileged individuals.

Having observed the flood of Americans seeking out-of-state abortions in the wake of Texas’s 2021 “heartbeat ban”, states like New York and California (where abortion rights are firmly secured by law) are expecting an influx of patients. But even in these “safe haven” states, reproductive health clinics are often understaffed and underfunded. The sheer scope of the expected bans will likely place a significant strain on these states’ healthcare systems.

Legal experts warn that overturning Roe could have implications far beyond abortion. Such a ruling could be used to challenge cases like Griswold v. Connecticut and Obergefell v.

Hodges, the rulings of which allow people to use birth control and marry people of the same gender. Because these rulings all rest upon the implied constitutional right to privacy, if the Court moves to attack that right, it could pave the way for a cascade of regressive legislation. This could ironically lead to more unwanted pregnancies and abortions as access to contraception and comprehensive sex education are crucial to pregnency prevention.

The Court will finalize their decisions on current cases within the next two months, including Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. As of mid-May, it seems unlikely that any major legislation will be passed to protect reproductive rights because such bills require a 60 percent or greater Senate majority in order to be written into law. Currently, even though a Washington Post poll revealed that 70 percent of American adults believe abortion should be a matter of personal choice, just over 50 percent of senators reliably vote to preserve that freedom. The Senate did vote on a bill to codify abortion protections in early May but failed to pass it as expected.

While many anti-choice politicians moved to criticize the breach of court security rather than address the implications of the draft opinion, pro-choice activists mobilized quickly, holding rallies and marches all over the country. As of mid-May, there have been at least two major protests in Ithaca in support of reproductive rights. A May 14th rally at the Bernie Milton Pavilion, organized by Planned Parenthood of Greater New York, featured a variety of local speakers, including Common Councilwoman Phoebe Brown, State Senate Candidate Leslie Danks Burke, and acting Ithaca Mayor Laura Lewis. Phoebe Brown spoke about

NEWS

the necessity of intersectionality in social movements and connected the struggle for abortion rights to the ongoing fights for economic, racial, and LGBTQ+ justice. Brown encouraged attendees with class and race privilege to support and uplift marginalized communities, saying, “no movement will move if we’re not moving them all together.” Another speaker, local abortion doula Rachael Behling, pointed out the inaccuracy of the “prolife” label by emphasizing that abortion often saves lives: “Prolife rhetoric is forcing a person to keep something inside their body that is detrimental to their health … abortion is healthcare.

A lot of folks would not be where they are today without abortion. Abortion makes life happen.”

Leslie Danks Burke addressed another aspect of this statement: “Abortion does not end when it’s illegal; the only thing that changes is how many people die from it.” About one in four Americans with uteri are expected to have an abortion in their lifetimes, according to the American Journal of Public Health.

Bans are ineffective at actually deterring abortions, according to an 11-year analysis of 23 such policies by Kenneth Meier et al., which found no appreciable effect on abortion rates. Abortions have and will continue to happen in America, whether in hospitals, homes, or alleyways.

Although many underserved communities will undoubtedly lose access, there are growing networks of abortion providers throughout the country working tirelessly to expand their ser-

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vices. These efforts include creating mobile clinics that can drive right up to state borders, offering mail-order abortion pills, and even teaching people how to make their own manual vacuum aspirators (the instrument used in minimally invasive surgical abortions) out of common materials. Just as there is no end to abortion in America, there is no end to the resilience of the people trying to make it safer.

Phoebe Brown speaks at a pro-choice rally on the Ithaca Commons. Photo by Louisa Miller-Out.

IHS Holds First Climate Exposition

By MUKUND GAUR

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n May 22, IHS held its first climate exposition, located in the music building and Welcome Center. Scattered around the two buildings were various local businesses and initiatives, and the event also included performances by members of the IHS Choir and IHS Chamber Orchestra. Some local businesses included but were not limited to, Bike Walk Tompkins, an organization aimed at making walking and biking safer and more convenient in Ithaca; The History Center of Tompkins County, which preserves and educates people about local history; LaMorte Electric Heating and Cooling, a business that replaces gas-powered heating systems with electric heating systems; and Gil’s Honeybees, a local apiary in Ithaca. Some organizations also aimed to increase student involvement in the community by being present at the Expo, such as Finger Lakes ReUse Center, a local nonprofit that reduces waste by keeping reusable materials out of the landfill. Robin Elliott, the Associate Director of the ReUse Center, stated, “we rely on volunteers and we work with a lot of students as employees.”

I spoke with Kylie Golden-Appleton ’23, who was one of the organizers of the event. They stated that the Climate Expo was organized in part due to the fact that humanity is at a crucial turning point in history. Golden-Appleton also added, “Recognizing this crisis as a direct result of colonization and extractive practices, it is essential that solutions address the white supremacist ideologies and systems that are so deeply intertwined.”

The target audience of the expo, Golden-Appleton stated, was “people of the global majority, Black and Indigenous people in particular, because these are the communities that face the most extreme effects of the climate crisis.” The event, they said, would hopefully be an opportunity for the community to connect personally with the climate justice movement— though one of

Participants at the IHS Climate Expo learn about Gil’s Honeybees (Photo courtesy of Dove Williams)

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IHS Holds First Climate Exposition Continued from page 7 the challenges “was practicing our values around diversity and inclusion.” Golden-Appleton finished by saying “Until we truly confront the history of colonization and divest the systems that uphold violence to human bodies and destruction to the Earth, no real change will occur.” Joining the local chapter of the Sunrise Movement and getting involved with the Halftown Must Go movement were two ways that Golden-Appleton stated that students could become involved with other local events.

Volunteers who helped organize the event stated goals of educating students and the broader public about the climate crisis. When asked why he decided to volunteer at the Climate Expo, Caedmon Sethupathy ’25, stated, “I think climate justice is an important way to create social and climate equality throughout the world.” He added that he hoped the event would inspire people to become involved themselves, or just be more mindful of climate change and how it impacts the planet. Dove Williams ’24, another volunteer at the Expo, stated that they decided to volunteer partly because they are involved with the Sunrise Ithaca movement, and also because they felt that “taking action and being a part of positive change, it can overcome a lot of the negative feelings that come along with the climate crisis.” When asked why it was important that students learn about climate change and its impacts, Williams added, “Like it or not, this is our future.”

Local IHS clubs and organizations were also involved in the event, including the club Supporting Women Impacting Society (SWIS), which meets Mondays after school in F4. The club, according to president Kate Keresztes ’22, involves both feminism and social justice. Claire Russell, ’23, another member of the club, added that SWIS is a safe space for people to connect and express different perspectives. At the Expo, Keresztes stated, SWIS aimed to “raise awareness that climate justice is first and foremost a human issue…it will impact everyone differently, depending on factors such as gender, race, disability, income, class, and where you live in the world.” To go along with this, the club had a presentation set up at the Climate Expo that described how climate change affects marginalized communities. The IHS Community Closet also had a table arranged at the Expo, run by Ms. McDonald, an IHS librarian and coordinator of the Community Closet. The Closet, which Ms. McDonald began in 2019, is a free item exchange, where students can exchange clothes, toiletries, laundry detergent, etc. It has helped over 250 students this year, according to Ms. McDonald. The premise of the Community Closet, Ms. McDonald added, is that “when you have your basic needs met, you’re more set up for success.”

Initiatives and local movements of the Ithaca area had stations at the event, including the Sunrise Movement, which is a “movement of young people uniting to stop the climate crisis,” according to their Facebook page. I spoke with Sioban Hull, an undergraduate student at Cornell who helps organize for Sunrise Ithaca. Hull said that while the Sunrise Ithaca movement had originally started to push for the Ithaca Green New Deal to be passed, after the bill was passed by the City of Ithaca, the organization is now focused on making sure the plan gets implemented in an equitable fashion. When asked about the broader significance of the Green New Deal, Hull responded that Ithaca often serves as a leader in climate change legislation nationally and globally, so it is important to take steps that other places can replicate. It’s important for students in particular to learn about

the climate crisis, Hull added, as “climate change is an issue that is going to affect young people the most, because this is the world we are going to be living in as adults.”

Another local organization, Farm to School, aims to help cafeteria directors access locally sourced food and connect local farms with schools, according to Farm to School Coordinator Tara Morgan. Schools with 30 percent or more of their food consisting of New York State products can be reimbursed by the government. The organization also helps to educate the community about food justice, food access, and food sovereignty.

Morgan added that it’s important that students and people in general can “make more conscious decisions about where their food comes from…and be more aware of barriers that might be in their own lives to getting these things.” In the infrastructure scene, Tetra Tech was also present, a contractor that has worked on several climate-related projects for Ithaca City School District, including expanding the Lakesource Cooling project at IHS and transitioning Enfield Elementary School to geothermal heating and cooling.

The Climate Expo brought together a multitude of local organizations—from honeybees to electric buses, the Expo had a variety of climate-related stations where students could learn about the climate crisis and what change is occurring at the local level. Participants and volunteers at the event were friendly and informative, and this event certainly served as an effective way for students and the public to gain information about local businesses and activism, as well as the climate crisis and its impacts on Ithaca.

OPINION EDITORIAL

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Summer’s a Beach: Why Summer is Arguably the Worst Season

By ADDIE HOULE-HITZ

“…I…can’t…move…” your friend groans from a wicker chair on your deck. “Too…hot…” It’s only July 2; not even near the height of this dreadful summer heat yet.

With summer break right around the corner, it’s time we talk about the glorification of this horrid season. With summer comes many things: swimming (in awful public pools), catching fireflies (as well as getting mosquito bites and finding stink bugs and endless other critters in your house), and finally getting outside (where you will sweat off your deodorant in less than an hour). Sure, we’re out of school, but genuinely, can you think of any other valid reason that you like summer?

Maybe I’m biased—I’ve always been more of a fan of the cold—but it baffles me when people say summer is their favorite season. From what I can see, the only merit of summertime is not having to go to school, and as someone who has worked their fair share of counselor gigs, the summer-camp-job alternative isn’t a whole lot better. You still have to get up and be somewhere at around 9:00 am, you still don’t necessarily get to pick the people with whom you will work, and you will most likely get paid slightly above minimum wage *insert sarcastic hooray*. If you’re too young or your parents don’t make you get a job, congratulations! You now get to sit with your thoughts for hours!

Okay, that might have gotten a little too sardonic, but you get what I mean. Despite the hype that it gets, summer doesn’t have that much on any other season unless you count the bugs.

Now, not all bugs are awful, and some are cute (like fireflies and ladybugs), but let’s talk about the bane of everyone’s existence: mosquitoes. Especially living in a town that gets as humid as

Ithaca does, you can’t walk more than five feet out of your door without coming back in to find at least ten bug bites. I love taking walks along the lake in the late spring when temperatures are in the cool 60s, but they bleed into the 70s and it’s mid-May to early June, I can’t walk along the lake unless I want to be swarmed by hordes upon hordes of mosquitoes.

If you’re lucky enough to have a pool, summer may be bearable, but in upstate New York—where pools are only usable for maybe four months of the year—very few people have them, and must resort to another option: public pools. With public pools comes swimsuits, sunburn, and semi-clean pool water (hereby known as the three S’s). It’s hard to swim anywhere—much less a public pool shared by hundreds of people throughout the summer—without getting swimmer’s ear or smelling like chlorine for days after. The nostril-burning smell is one we all know and “love,” and, when mixed with crying children and people in your personal space, makes public pools an absolute nightmare.

So what do we do? The praise that summer gets primarily comes from the fact that we aren’t being bombarded with school work, so I propose a different “favorite” season: winter.

In winter we don’t have to worry about bugs, how to cool off, or (for some parts of it) school. Plus, there’s always that one really weird week in November with 60-degree weather before we are thrown into the cold. I say we relieve ourselves of the pressure to love summer simply because we don’t have to be in a school building for six hours a day. Because when you take a step back (or out, into a swarm of mosquitoes), it isn’t all that great.

Letter from the Editor

By THE TATTLER EDITORIAL BOARD

Scan to view the "Letter to the Editor"

The following words are in response to an email written to the Tattler Editorial Board concerning our May editorial, titled “Beyond the Land Acknowledgment: IHS Needs an Indigenous History Class.” We appreciate IHS history teachers Mr. Heiland and Ms. Kautz for reaching out to us about last month’s editorial, and we hope that we can give further explanation in this response.

After conversations within the Board and with Mr. Heiland and Ms. Kautz, the Tattler Editorial Board upholds the points made in our editorial. However, we would also like to emphasize we see the lack of inclusion of Indigenous stories in our curriculum as the issue—not in the work that our teachers have done to expand Indigenous education within the bounds of these curricula. We recognize that it is difficult to extend education on Indigenous history due to restrictive New York State regents, Continued on page 10

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OPINION

Letter from the Editor Continued from page 9 AP, and NYS curricula, of which almost all standard IHS humanities classes are required to follow. We had hoped to make this clear in our editorial, but would like to reiterate. The goal of our editorial was not to criticize any of our teachers, but solely to propose that the issue of a constrained curriculum would be solved with an additional elective focused exclusively on Indigenous history. Finally, the Tattler Editorial Board is grateful for every community member who writes a response to work published in our paper, and we encourage anyone who feels strongly about a certain article or editorial to do so.

The Ivies: To Go or Not To Go?

By CAEDMON SETHUPATHY

A

s the school year comes to a close, the majority of high school seniors will begin packing their bags for college.

The current juniors will start to stress over applications, even as many sophomores and freshmen are likely to continue putting off college-related thoughts for as long as possible. But some high achieving students already have their minds made up: the Ivy League. For years now, the “Ivies” have been the standard of excellence for colleges. The selectivity and academic rigor, combined with the many resources and opportunities they provide, have made the Ivies some of the most romanticized and sought-after colleges in the country. Unfortunately, for many prospective students, acceptance rates among the Ivies have been steadily dropping; Harvard (the face of the Ivies) had an acceptance rate of 4.59 percent this year. In other words, less than one in every 20 students who applied to Harvard were accepted. Many highly qualified students are being turned away, which may cause hopelessness for students who believed that getting into an Ivy League College was their life goal. Of course, basing your worth off of what college you get into is a problem on its own. But when one takes a step back, there is a question that needs to be addressed regarding the Ivies: are they even worth it?

The Ivy League is made up of eight schools. These are, in no particular order, Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth, Cornell, Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Brown, and Columbia. US News World Report and Niche all rank the Ivies as eight of the top 17 schools in the country. This is for good reason—the Ivy League possesses an incredible amount of resources, research opportunities, and networks of influential people. However, attending an Ivy League school comes with a substantial price tag. The average cost per year across all Ivies is approximately 81 thousand dollars for tuition combined with room and board. Some of this fiscal pressure can be alleviated through financial aid, but students will likely be paying off debts for years afterwards.

After graduating, many of these students will also go on to various professional schools (including law, business, medical, or a graduate program). These are also highly expensive and will compound debt.

In addition to the Ivies, there are many other high-level universities with large amounts of money and resources and great

academic programs. Unfortunately, most of these peer colleges also have massive tuition fees. Examples of these schools include New York University, Carnegie Mellon, and Duke. However, one major difference exists between the Ivies and these types of schools. No Ivy League school will grant an academic scholarship, although financial aid is available depending on economic status, but several top-tier non-Ivy League schools offer merit scholarships to prospective students. A prime example is Duke, which is listed as the sixth best college in the US by Niche.

Supporters of the Ivy League may argue that the name recognition and prestige of the Ivies can help in future job searches.

While this is certainly true, other schools have gained wide recognition over the past few decades. As previously mentioned, Duke is highly regarded across many disciplines. University of California Los Angeles (UCLA), Notre Dame, and Carnegie Mellon are also all highly ranked by Niche. This may not have always been the case, but the Ivies are no longer the only schools that are considered elite by employers. And that’s not all—in a 2013 Gallup poll, more than 600 business leaders were asked to describe traits and backgrounds they look for when determining who to hire. Only nine percent of participants listed the college the applicant attended as “very important” in the hiring process, while 84 percent of these same participants expressed that work experience and knowledge was “very important.” It is likely the case that finding high quality work experience with an Ivy, or similarly prestigious school’s degree is easier, but this potential benefit still needs to be weighed against the fiscal burden.

As a high schooler, you may feel that choosing a college is the biggest decision you will ever have to make, but in a few decades, your professional success will depend far more on resilience and drive to succeed rather than your attended college. So, while getting into an Ivy League school is great and will certainly provide you with plenty of opportunities to succeed, it is not the only path to success. In the end, whether or not the Ivies are worth it is a personal question. Its answer depends on what you value, how much money you have, and how willing you are to live with debt. You can go to Harvard or the State University of New York at Buffalo and end up doing well. The former will probably open up more opportunities in the short term, so by all means shoot for the stars…but what matters more than where you go is what you do with what you are given.

High Up by Grace Lim

OPINION EDITORIAL OPINION

Big Tech is Watching You

By MARK KIEFER

I

n Big Tech, the product is not the service; the product is you (the user) and your data, and everyone is buying. With Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter calling more attention to social media companies and their practices, it’s a good time to know just how much data is being collected and how it is being used.

Twitter and other companies—such as Google, Facebook, and Amazon—use your data to market to you more effectively. They get this data, not only from what you provide for them directly, but also by analyzing your web activity. These sites can use tracking pixels and cookies to get a log of the websites you have visited and view your general online interests.

Big Tech not only monitors computers; additionally, phones have special “Advertising IDs” to help advertisers tie information to users. Some companies, such as Google and Apple, keep a log of everywhere you have visited, both online and in real life, to use for marketing purposes. Many companies even have software that tracks users to gain their data. Advertising giants like to buy this data, but they are not the only ones, the government is also purchasing your information.

When Big Tech isn’t selling your data to the government, they are selling it to other groups. Facebook sent user data to a company, which then used the data to help the Trump campaign.

Also, Big Tech doesn’t always have the systems in place to keep your user data safe. While companies like Apple go out of their way to encrypt your data and only keep what they need, some companies take as much data as possible and store it insecurely.

Facebook and Twitter, as well as thousands of other companies, have been the targets of data breaches. Therefore, it’s recommended that you use a different password on each site since almost everyone has had an account on a website that dealt with a data breach.

Next, the companies collecting your data aren’t exactly trustworthy. When Facebook was making changes to the terms of service for their “secure and private” messaging app, WhatsApp, Facebook was able to look at your messages that were “secure” and use them for advertising purposes. To make everyone feel better, Facebook declared that these weren’t actually changes to the terms of service, and instead, it was just a re-wording of these terms.

Companies all around the world use your data to make money—and in exchange, you get to use platforms and services full of misinformation. The issue is that the people using these platforms are mostly unaware of the amount of data being collected, made worse on a website like Facebook, which has a real name policy making it even easier to connect all your data to you.

Facebook will even ask you occasionally to validate your name with an official ID before you can delete your account. Facebook claims to store your name securely, but it’s hard to confirm exactly who sees this information. There are regulations to protect people from this data collection, but not in New York. The Euro-

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pean Union (EU) has the General Data Protection Regulation to protect them and California has a relatively weak data protection law. California is the only state in the United States with such a law. Concerns about data collection get even more worrying with the rising use of facial recognition technology, which means that photos you post on Instagram could be connected to you on other platforms or even in real life using computers.

Until New York or the United States passes a data protection law, there are some things you can do to at least decrease the amount of data being collected. To explain the ways in which you can protect yourself, let’s use an example of an imaginary person named Tabitha. Tabitha has a variety of social media accounts and uses a similar password on each site, only changing it when necessary. She doesn’t pay attention to web encryption and does not use incognito mode or a virtual private network (VPN). In order to secure her data, Tabitha must first install a VPN, which will encrypt all of her web traffic and prevent her internet service provider (ISP) or school from seeing what websites she visits. She should then delete all of her social media accounts, starting with Facebook, as it is the least secure. For added security, she could browse in incognito mode or clear her cookies. She could also use Tor, a software that enables anonymous access to the internet, to be extra safe. Most importantly, Tabitha should begin using a password manager to have a different password on every website in case of a data breach, and make sure that she is not posting any information anywhere on the Internet about her that is personally identifiable. Additionally, she must avoid using school wifi except when necessary, and should not use a school-issued device for any reason other than for school and school-related assignments. Taking these steps will help to keep Tabitha safer, although much of her data will still be used by Big Tech and sold to anyone who is willing to buy. Unfortunately, until the United States takes serious steps to protect people’s privacy, Big Tech companies will continue to harvest user data.

Eli in Essaouira by Raia Gutman

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OPINION

No to Next Year's Universal Lunch Schedule (and a Seven-Period Schedule)

By MARLEY THOMSON

I

HS administrators are proposing a “Universal Lunch” and a “Seven-Period Schedule,” both of which will most likely go into effect next year. The reasoning behind these changes, according to Principal Trumble, is that “[IHS is] in year four of a waiver granted to us by the State of New York to have under the instructional minutes needed throughout the day, which will no longer be granted for next year.” In simple terms, administrators believe that having a seven-period schedule with one lunch period for the entire school is the solution to increasing instructional time. This is simply not true.

Currently, the IHS master schedule allows for eight class periods, which includes three available lunch periods. In this schedule, any student can have a class, free period or lunch when the cafeteria is open. Many students choose to forgo a lunch period altogether and take a class every single period. Regardless of personal beliefs on whether someone must have a lunch period, the fact is that our current schedule allows for large amounts of flexibility. Under our current master schedule, a student can take up to nine classes (if they have a zero period and no lunch), amounting to 405 instructional minutes. However, the universal lunch schedule, which “allows for more instructional time” would only allow students to receive a maximum of 360 instructional minutes (including a zero period). In the example seven-period schedules that were sent out to students, someone who wanted to continue taking eight classes would be forced to take a zero period. Requiring students to take a zero period to fit in more classes is unreasonable, especially considering how late our school day ends and the relative inaccessibility of school buses during this early time.

Universal lunch also puts a strain on our cafeteria workers.

There are over 1,200 students who attend IHS. Universal lunch shortens the period to 42 minutes and requires that food for all 1200 students be prepared and served at once, which will cause the quality of school lunch to diminish. For example, during the January regents, the food choices for school lunch (which are usually high-quality and high-variety) became cold, grab-andgo options. The poor quality of food that week was not because of our cafeteria workers, but rather because it is hard to feed an entire student body all at once. Additionally, the plan IHS will follow next year to ensure that all students are fed in one lunch period has not been shared with students and parents, so we are left to wonder: will it even work? According to the cafeteria staff, there has been no plan to hire more staff to accommodate this overwhelming lunch period. This is an unfair burden to our hardworking cafeteria workers who make quality meals for the student body every single day.

It would be one thing to cram the entire student body into one lunch period, but what makes it even more concerning is the fact that there has been insufficient communication towards the students and families. Spaces like the Quad have become packed with students during lunch periods with only a third of the student body. Imagine how crowded it would be with the entire school in one lunch period. Spaces such as E-Courtyard, which have been unmaintained and left to turn into forest, could be used to accommodate students during lunch, but so far, our administrators have not taken the initiative to make that happen. It’s simple: with the current infrastructure at our school, we cannot accommodate the number of students at IHS with only a singular, universal lunch period.

Make Health Class a PeerEducated Course

By ADAM SAAR

I

t’s a well established fact that health education is severely lacking nationwide—in many states, abstinence-only sex education is emphasized, and education on sexuality and mental health issues is either missing entirely or criminally under-taught. Even at IHS, health class does very little to protect students from the issues on which it strives to educate.

All IHS students are required by the state to take one half-credit (equivalent to one semester) of Health in order to graduate. At IHS, students may take the class at any point in their four years of high school, and a large portion of students push it off until senior year so that it doesn’t get in the way of other academic or arts classes they may prioritize. This, however, creates a situation in which most kids don’t receive important information on topics such as sex, drug use, eating disorders, and other mental health issues until they and many of their peers have likely experienced. When a student does reach Health at IHS, they are then presented with lackluster and occasionally misinformative lessons on a variety of topics, including wellness and self-care, emotional and mental health, physical health

OPINION / FEATURES EDITORIAL

nutrition, substance use, sexuality, and relationships. In class, these topics are presented mostly in the form of slideshow notes composed of information from online resources by teachers multiple generations removed from their students, with the occasional informative guest speaker brought in from the community.

In order to make Health class truly productive, informative, and helpful to students, it should be made a peer-educated course that is taught by upperclassmen and aimed at educating underclassmen (with the support of a teacher advisor and local community experts). In past years, the Teen Council—a teen peer-education group sponsored by Planned Parenthood—has played a significant role in local health education, yet Teen Council is losing its funding from Planned Parenthood this year and is likely to be disbanded if another entity does not sponsor it for the upcoming years. Losing Teen Council would be a travesty for our community, and to prevent this loss, Ithaca City School District (ICSD) could take action to effectively make Teen Council a school-sponsored and funded initiative that recruits passionate teens to provide health education for their peers.

As compensation for their work, the members of the new ICSD Teen Council for Health Education could receive Physical Education credit for teaching Health class with and for their peers.

In today’s digital age, young teens have an unparalleled wealth of information—and disinformation—at their fingertips about all of these aforementioned topics. Sources for this information ranges from infographics on Instagram to news articles to pornography, all of which can be both helpful and detrimental to a teen’s development and involvement in things such as relationships, drug use, sex, and dealing with mental health issues or eating disorders. According to Planned Parenthood, the average age a teenager starts having sex in the United States is around 17, indicating that roughly half of high schoolers have had sex or are sexually active. As such, it’s crucial that teens receive accurate and healthy information on sex and sexuality before they become sexually active, not after, and emphasizing abstinence in middle school health classes doesn’t do anyone any good either. Even so, the information presented in health classes—both in middle school and high school—is mainly focused on methods of contraception, sexually transmited infections (STIs), and pregnancy, rather than how to have healthy, pleasurable sex and relationships. Teens, who are going through or have recently dealt with these experiences, are best equipped to discuss these events with their peers, and the educators would also learn valuable lessons in teaching the class by being provided support from experts on these topics.

Further than just sex education, education on drugs and alcohol in classes can be summed up in the following sentence: “People do drugs; drugs are bad; don’t do drugs.” This message is not consistent with the reality of high school—our school is infested with nicotine and marijuana, and other drugs are easily accessible in many circles. Rather than just teaching high schoolers about the variety of drugs that run in the streets and the ramifications of addiction, we should be learning how to safely use or refuse drugs in situations where we may encounter them.

A third topic of utmost importance that is inadequately taught in Health class at IHS and in ICSD as a whole is mental health, sexuality, and gender. These topics are becoming more prevalent and relevant every year among young people, and it’s

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incredibly important that information presented to them is both up-to-date and supportive. However, this becomes much harder to do when the class is taught by a teacher multiple generations removed from their students, presenting slide-show notes taken from online resources. If Health was to be taught by peers supported by experts in the community, the education young high-schoolers would receive would be a lot more accessible, as it would be coming from people with similar experiences and perspectives.

Check Your Source: The Origin of...

Mini-Golf

By ADDIE HOULE-HITZ

W

hen one recalls children’s birthday parties, a few go-to places might come to mind: a friend’s house, a movie theater, a playground, or maybe even a bounce place.

A staple on this list, almost always, is mini-golf. Whether or not you have played this game—indoors or out of doors—it’s hard to believe that something that pedestrian could have an interesting backstory, much less one that dates back hundreds of years.

There are many theories on how mini-golf got started. Some say that the game can be traced back all the way to China in 975 A.D. Although it was not called “mini-golf”—the term “golf” was later coined by the British—records have been uncovered from the Song Dynasty describing a similar game. Servants were instructed to dig holes in the ground so that their bosses could knock small clay balls into them with a purposefully crafted stick. This game was referred to as chuiwan, chui meaning “to hit” and wan meaning “ball.”

Other theories include claims of the game starting in Denmark around 1295, the game developing from a French game called pallemail in 1450. However, the first use of mini-golf came hundreds of years later in 1912, London. The game was introduced on a mini-golf course called “Gofstacle” and it even gained enough traction that in June of 1912 it was mentioned in an edition of The Illustrated London News. The game was initially created “so that women could enjoy golf.” Golf had been deemed “too taxing” and mini-golf allowed for women to participate without breaking a sweat. Today,the reigning champions for women’s and men’s golf are tied in terms of titles.

Commercially, the first mini-golf course was the “Thistle Dhu”—said like ‘This’ll Do’—in 1916, North Carolina. The game went on to include artificial turf and became accessible across the world. By the late 1920s, 150 rooftop mini-golf courses adorned New York City, with thousands more across the country. However, the boom ended with the advent of the Great Continued on page 14

FEATURES

14 Check Your Source: The Origin of...Mini Golf Continued from page 13

Depression. Nearly all historic courses were closed and torn down, but a rare one survives in Rochester, New York, called the Parkside Whispering Pines Miniature Golf Course. The course was even registered in the National Register of Historic Places in 2002. The oldest course to date, however, resides in Sweden.

Although mini-golf started in London, it took Sweden by storm—they even founded the Swedish Mini-Golf Federation or Svenska Bangolfförbundet—try saying that ten times fast.

They were the first mini-golf federation, and have held mini-golf championships yearly since 1939. (Most mini-golf federations weren’t founded until after the post-WWII economic depression.) They didn’t use felt or turf on their courses, instead opting for sand until the material became readily available. Now, due to the generally rainy Scandinavian weather, felt is almost all that is used save for one course built in 1954, Ascona Switzerland.

Today, mini-golf can be seen around the world, with many countries offering championships with large cash prizes and big benefits. So next time you’re at a kid’s birthday party, with screaming toddlers and sticky kids, take a deep breath and remember that although it started off as a way for women to “participate,” it’s now enjoyed by everyone, especially those children with frosting all over their faces.

From the Archives: Best of the Year

By ALICE BURKE

D

eep within the halls of IHS, at the end of the E-wing, one can find a very small, very pink room. Within these walls lie four average-looking filing cabinets that contain the archives of Tattler history, dating all the way back to 1892. This year, as Archivist, I have had the pleasure of curating selections from each corresponding month in this recurring “From the Archives” column. I have learned so much about The Tattler and IHS in my endeavors, and it is bittersweet for me to be moving on to a new role on the Tattler Editorial Board. I have decided that, as a final good-bye to my column before next year’s Archivist takes over, I would choose my favorite excerpts from each month’s issue of this year’s column and present a “Best of the Year” selection. I hope you enjoy my favorite moments of IHS Tattler history, and farewell.

Read more online at https://tattlerarchive.wordpress.com/ Note: The current Tattler does not necessarily endorse the opinions published in historical Tattlers.

September 4, 2008 “Dear Genghis: Freshman Troubles and Freshman Tortures” Dear Genghis, I’ve had a pretty terrible first day in high school. A gang of upperclassmen threw me into a trashcan, shut me in a locker, and then threw the locker in the trash can. They proceeded to dump the locker and trash can into Fall Creek, with me and what appeared to be a Burmese Python (as I judged from the scale pattern when it was slowly squeezing the life from me) locked inside, leaving my serpentine companion and me for dead. After somehow floating up to Aurora and dragging my half alive, water-and-venom-logged carcass back to school, I faced an even worse disaster: I got lost in G-Building and couldn’t find my way to History class. Is high school always this bad? If so, how do I deal with problems like this?

-Troubled Freshman

Blowing Bubbles at Streets Alive by Ruby Zawel

Dear Fresh Meat, Frosh, etc., The answer to your first question is yes. IHS is a desolate locale; at times as cold and frigid as the Onon river valley; at others as skin meltingly hot as the Gobi desert. Here, only the most cunning and cruel survive. The upperclassmen attacked you because in a few seasons’ time you’ll be able to threaten their yurts and

FEATURES EDITORIAL

goat herds. It is to your credit that they consider you a potential threat and not a worthless excuse for a filthy wretch, barely better than the lowliest beast. To answer your second question, you must be as cunning and cruel as those who humiliated you. Raid their camps for women and plunder. Trample their livestock’s grazing ground. Utterly destroy them, and teach them to fear your very name. If they come groveling to your hut, begging for mercy, food, and a place within your tribe, offer them the most degrading position (perhaps yak groomer). As for your second dilemma, you should burn G-Building to the ground and forget History. It’s pretty much useless.

-Genghis Khan October 2006 "The Pumpkin on the Clocktower - A Local Mystery" On October 8, 1997, many spectators beheld a mysterious pumpkin placed on top of the McGraw Clocktower, much to the disbelief of Cornell’s students and staff. The pumpkin was a symbol for the upcoming holiday of Halloween.

Many people wondered how the pumpkin, estimated to weigh around 60 pounds, had been carried to the top of the 173-foot tower that overlooks the Cornell campus. One theory suggests that a couple of rock climbers had secretly hidden the pumpkin in the top of the clock tower and waited for nightfall, then carefully placed the pumpkin on the tower’s tip. Fearing the harm the pumpkin could inflict if it fell down on unsuspecting pedestrians, local authorities taped off the area around the clocktower.

It was decided that the pumpkin should sit on the top until it crumbled down, due to the expense of removing it.

The pumpkin remained on the McGraw Clocktower for the better part of five months and received a huge amount of publicity. From sporting exposure in the New York Times to features on MTV and CNN, the pumpkin story spread across the United States, still with no definitive perpetrator.

Finally, on March 13, 1998, the pumpkin fell down after being hit by a basket sent up to retrieve it. It was found that the pumpkin was hollowed out so that it could balance properly on top of the tower, and was considerably lighter than the estimated weight. The pumpkin shell was freeze-dried and put on display at Day Hall, but mold was found soon after, and the pumpkin could not be saved from decomposition. Though the shell rotted, some of the insides of the pumpkin have been preserved and can still be found at Uris Hall as part of the brain collection.

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November 1927 “LA FEUILLE” I If I were a maple leaf, A red and yellow maple leaf, I’d whisper in the autumn When the big woods are still; While dancing with the boyish wind, The rolicking and playful wind, I’d tell him all the secrets Of the forest and the hill.

II If I were a maple leaf, A brown and dying maple leaf, I’d murmur, oh, so softly As I slowly drifted down; That the frost of death had caught me, And to my end had brought me, But that I’d not be sorry To reach the waiting ground.

December 20, 1996 “Teacher Feature” Name: Steven Weissburg What you do: Harass teenagers Age: The sum of my current age and the year of my birth is 1996.

Astrological Sign: Leo If you got a different job, what would it be?

Drive a fire truck.

What is your favorite word, and why?

“Pop-quiz.” I like the sound of it, kind of like a ricochet. I like the reaction it gets. It’s a good word. I say it whenever I can.

Should something be done about the smokers outside on the sidewalk in the morning?: A firehose. Or a city ordinance. Honestly, if someone wants to injure their health and acquire bad breath while enriching a bunch of greedy, perjurious corporatists, I say this is America and God bless. However, I'm plenty tired of running the gauntlet on the Cayuga Street bridge. The arrogance and irresponsibility of the smokers involved is matched only by the hand-wringing indifference of the administration.

What subject, other than math, required for a high school diploma, is most important?

English. It’s nice to be able to talk good, you know, and like, read stuff.

Continued on page 16

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FEATURES

From The Archives: Best of the Year Continued from page 15 If you were going to get a personalized license plate for your car, what would it say?

I find license plates to be an inadequate form of personal expression. I believe random numbers and letters are more interesting.

What one thing would you change about this high school if you could?

I’d install self-flushing toilets. Honestly, every new administration has found occasion to assemble the teachers and have them fill reams of newsprint with their answers to this very question.

Ultimately the paper is stored somewhere and forgotten until the process is repeated by the next administration. I’ve lost my credulity. Self-flushing toilets would be a big step forward, as far as I’m concerned. Otherwise, leave me alone.

Do you believe in superstitions?

I have a black cat who often crosses my path as I’m walking under ladders or stepping on cracks. Nothing much seems to come of it. However, I do have a great respect for Murphy’s Law and a related mistrust of inanimate objects. Keys, I know, will often transport themselves to obscure locations and glasses can become invisible. That's why I like numbers; they’re predictable.

January 9, 2008 “The Coolness Spectrum” Finishing College Applications The Challenge Nathaniel (i.e. Peter Pettigrew) Sharpie Fumes Stirring Up Excitement Stirring Up Trouble Stirring Up Minestrone Passivism Small Empty Spaces Big Empty Spaces Pedestrians at Cornell The Eiffel Tower “That’s what she said.”

Losing The Challenge On the Origin of Species College Applications

February 1975 “SANTA MONICA SUMMER” Chasing down the beach for grunion after midnight finding none but stumbling over one another on the way back home.

Part of another Santa Monica summer when all went well or did it?

Perspectives, like horizons, change.

The facts are these, I loved you I meant to always be there just as I meant to master algebra somewhere along the line.

The line grew shorter as the shadows all grow longer now.

The need for algebra began to fade as surely the need for you grew stronger and grows stronger still now that you’re away.

I did not intend to master you but I wish I’d taken time to learn more than your body.

That geography, though dear enough, was incomplete without the doorway of your mind ajar as a midnight hunt for grunion several summers back in Santa Monica I meant to always be there just as I meant to master algebra somewhere along the line.

The line grew shorter as the shadows all grow longer now.

The need for algebra began to fade as surely the need for you grew stronger and grows stronger still now that you’re away.

I did not intend to master you but I wish I’d taken time to learn more than your body.

That geography, though dear enough, was incomplete without the doorway of your mind ajar as a midnight hunt for grunion several summers back in Santa Monica March 18, 2008 “Crossover to the Extreme: A Look at Unusual Sports” I myself do not participate in extreme sports, but if I did, I would definitely try either Extreme Ironing or eXtreme Croquet.

These two sports are unusual and relatively unknown, but they deserve their just recognition. In the world of stay-at-home mothers, nothing is more dangerous than Extreme Ironing. An activity that originated in England in 1997, Extreme Ironing

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(also known, in the enthusiast world, as EI) is the act of ironing clothing in a remote or dangerous location. Playing grounds for EI include in the middle of busy streets, while parachuting, and on top of speeding cars.

The First Extreme Ironing World Championships were held in 2002 in Germany. Great Britain entered three teams, and one of them snagged the gold medal at the event. For international competitions, teams are awarded points by a panel of judges.

The judges look for ironing creativity as well as finely made creases in the clothing.

Without the well pressed shirts, but still packing a whole lot of adrenaline, is eXtreme Croquet. As a variation on the elitist lawn sport, eXtreme Croquet caters to a different crowd... the extreme crowd. It is played with basically the same rules as its parent sport, but with some special twists.

The goal is still to use a two-sided mallet to hit little balls through small metal wickets. Whoever hits the ball through the set of wickets in the least number of strokes wins the round.

However, in eXtreme Croquet, the setting is a little different. Instead of a clean-cut lawn behind a huge Victorian House in New England, an eXtreme Croquet match takes place in an area such as an overgrown forest, a swamp, or a beach. Roots and flowing water are preferable.

In the world of eXtreme Croquet, there is no international governing body. Specifics vary from club to club, but the rules are fairly consistent. The rules exclusive to eXtreme Croquet include the use of any part of the mallet to advance your ball (the sport encourages the billiards style of striking), and the use of small children and animals to redirect shots. Because eXtreme Croquet is usually played in the presence of alcohol, the knocking over of another player's beer gives a player another stroke.

This act may also instigate an altercation, but it does give the player a better shot at winning.

The emergence of eXtreme Croquet has revolutionized croquet equipment. Some clubs play with double-decker wickets: if you go through the upper level, you get extra shots. The mallets are, in turn, manufactured with sloped edges to give the ball lift.

This sport is always a good time. It's an extreme endeavor without the danger and can be a fun outing with friends.

April 1979 "Book Review: The Bible" The Bible is a rather longish work of semi-historical fiction.

Its previously unpublished, anonymous author shows a lot of potential, but that potential is time and again unrealized, and the novel earned its two and a half stars more for what it might have done than for what it actually does. In a word, it disappoints.

The book begins rather weakly and rather predictably, I thought, with the line, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." First of all, the tone that is established is far too pompous for a young writer with a minimum of experience.

Second of all, with The Silmarillion already in its fourth printing, the last thing America needs is another creation myth.

The novel deals with the early history of a group of a tribe known as the Highbrews―possibly the most helpless bunch of schlimazels to hit the literary scene in a decade. Their frequent

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head-on collisions with war and strife lead one to think that someone up there is not on their side. Unfortunately, the author chose to avoid the situation's comic possibilities, playing the unending series of catastrophes in a heavy, serious tone. Instead of entertaining, the plot merely depresses.

At the most inappropriate moments, the author brings in a ridiculous set of sci-fi-style gimmicks. There is, for instance, this "pillar of cloud'' that keeps appearing whenever the Highbrews get into trouble. Now, in all fairness, who in his right mind (Note from the editors: Here the review ends, its edges mysteriously burned as if from a fire.)

May 20, 2011 “THE INSERT” In 2007, a Nebraska State Senator sued God. Senator Ernie Chambers filed the intentionally frivolous lawsuit to make a point that anybody can sue anybody else. This was in response to a lawsuit against a district court judge that Chambers thought was inappropriate.

In Chambers's suit against God he claims that God has made terroristic threats against both him and his constituents and has caused “widespread death, destruction, and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants.” In addition, he was suing Him for causing “fearsome floods, horrendous hurricanes, and terrifying tornadoes.

June 2020 “Pandemic Predictions” Nobody knows for sure when the Coronavirus pandemic that has overturned everyone’s lives will end, but that doesn’t mean we can’t guess! Read IHS student responses to when they think the pandemic will end and how.

Ryan Cunningham ’20: Here’s how it will go. There will be multiple waves and outbreaks of COVID-19 until it is finally crushed and kept on the sidelines. An eventual vaccine will help with the virus response, though governments will have trouble distributing it. After COVID-19 is over, the US economy will be so crippled due to a sluggish administrative response that GDP will drop significantly. People will also initially be hesitant to spend money on retail stores, and a few more brick-and-mortar chains will go bankrupt. Coming out of the crisis with a stronger rebound, China will catch up to the United States and become the world’s largest economy.

Emerson Schryver ’23: April of next year.

Anna Bjerken ’22: I think that cities are going to release their social distancing protocols prematurely, causing a second wave of the pandemic, and I think because of this the pandemic will last longer than we want it to.

Continued on page 18

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18 From the Archives: Best of the Year Continued from page 17

Andrew Han ’22: It will end on December 31 because of vaccines. Half a year seems pretty good.

Alex Jordan ’23: I think the pandemic will end in late June 2020 in Ithaca, but then continue elsewhere until late September 2020. I think this will mostly be from the pandemic dying off. In January 2021, a second wave will start. The second wave will be much larger and more severe and will only end in July 2021 when a vaccine is developed.

Daniel Zawel ’22: The pandemic will end when the COVID-19 vaccine is successfully completed on March 2, 2022.

Martin Lowry ’21: COVID-19 (A.K.A. Coronavirus A.K.A. social distancing A.K.A. distance learning A.K.A. summer school) will only get worse and worse for the rest of time. Any hope that we are getting now with phased restriction lifting are just false victories. In 3 years time, if you want to go into the outside world, you must wear a full hazmat suit and specially made super dark sunglasses, because the virus will have gotten so bad at this point that you could catch it by looking at it. To then enter back into your house everyone will have a decontamination chamber added on to their house. 10 years later, just when you will think things can’t get any worse, the virus will make a sudden evolution and become so thick and hazardous that it will block out any light from the sun and we will all slowly begin to freeze to death without the sun to keep us warm. The summer of ’19 is your last chance to have an enjoyable virus-free summer.

Then. . . you. . . will. . . be. . . d.e.a.d.

Siran “Jay” Jia ’23: October 4, 2020.

An Overview of ICSD Pre-K: The Program Serving the District’s Youngest Learners

By ALIZA PROULX

E

arly childhood education is essential to development, both inside and outside of the classroom. Preschool improves social skills, nurtures creativity through play, and con-

tributes to long-term academic growth. In fact, 90 percent of a child’s total brain volume is developed by age six, indicating that maximizing learning in these early years is imperative. According to the Center of the Developing Child at Harvard University, more than one million new neural connections are formed every second in the first few years of life. Although the brain continues to grow and change throughout the human lifetime, the period from birth to age five is a particularly important window of development. From an educational policy perspective, the neuroscience points to the importance of a high quality preschool education. The Harvard Center of the Developing Child has pointed out that “early preventive intervention is more efficient and produces more favorable outcomes than remediation later in life.”

Unfortunately, private childcare and preschool across the nation is extremely expensive, and Ithaca is no exception.

Private daycares such as East Ithaca Preschool, Community Nursery School, and Ithaca Forest Preschool charge around $500 per month for just 15 hours per week of care. Thus, Ithaca City School District (ICSD) Pre-K, being the only tuition-free preschool in the area that also provides transportation, is crucial to serving low-income families. The program goes above and beyond in this role, and is truly a hidden gem in the district that deserves more attention.

ICSD Pre-K is a robust program that values project-based learning, movement, play, hands-on engagement, and a strength-based approach to teaching. Pre-K staff attempt to base their teaching on their students’ interests, taking time to get to know the identities and backgrounds of each child. Challenging behaviors are seen as an area for inquiry instead of a trigger for chastisement.

Additionally, ICSD Pre-K wants all children to see themselves reflected in curriculum and pedagogy. A key way that this is achieved in the district is by prioritizing connections with families: home visits are required for every child at least twice a year, and each classroom includes family workers who have a goal of supporting student families. In addition to allowing staff to learn about the student’s home culture, individual interests, and behaviors, teacher-family relationships in preschool can also have a huge impact on long-term academic performance. The Chicago Longitude Study investigated the connection between the involvement of parents during early childhood and subsequent future academic achievement (specifically concerning students from low socioeconomic backgrounds in urban areas) and found that higher rates of school-related activity participation by parents in their child’s preschool years was associated with increased reading proficiency, lower rates of grade repetition in middle school, and fewer years in special education for those students, even when the control group had similar family background and socioeconomic status. This emphasis on parental involvement is crucial and is one of the distinguishing features of the Pre-K curriculum.

Additionally, one of the most admirable aspects of the program is the attention given to students with IEPs (Individualized Education Program). Five (out of 12 total classrooms) are SCIS (Special Class in an Integrated Setting) classrooms which each have 12 students: six students who qualify for a full day Special Education teacher and six who do not. This diverse, heterogeneous grouping allows all children in the classroom community

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to learn from one another and the extra staff in these classrooms such as Speech Pathologists, Occupational Therapists, and ESPs (Educational Support Professionals) work with students who learn differently, have developmental delays, or need extra support for other reasons.

However, although ICSD stands out amongst other districts in the state—and the country, considering New York State is ranked ninth in the nation in terms of accessibility for four-yearolds according to data from the National Institute for Early Education Research—for its attention to Pre-K, there is still much to be improved. Eligibility for ICSD Pre-K is determined by family income and includes four-year-old students through 300 percent of the federal poverty guidelines. All other applicants are selected through a lottery system. This leaves the possibility for families who are still struggling financially—but not quite meeting the requirement—to be ineligible for the program due to the limited spots available. These families still might not be able to find affordable care with transportation, but are not quite eligible for ICSD Pre-K, leaving some children lacking in the early learning experiences crucial to lifelong learning.

The limited space in the program is partly due to the lack of Pre-K classrooms in Cayuga Heights Elementary School and Northeast Elementary School. These were cut in 2013 when the district was facing a fiscal crisis; they were not closed due to lack of necessity in these schools, as they were full before closure with roughly 16 students per classroom. While Pre-K is still offered to students from these schools if they are income-eligible, they must be bussed to other elementary schools in the district.

This creates a lack of community (sometimes also separating young children from their siblings) because these students return to their home schools after Pre-K. According to Pre-K staff members, the best type of expansion would include services for three-year-olds, an afterschool program, and as aforementioned, Pre-K classrooms in all buildings.

An afterschool program open to young kids would be especially beneficial, since the school day ends in the early afternoon and the typical ICSD elementary afterschool is not open to four-yearolds. This means that kids are often left without proper care for the rest of the day, since parents are most likely working until much later. Right now, ICSD partners with Ithaca Community Childcare Center, University Cooperative Nursery School, Coddington, Downtown Ithaca Childrens’ Center, and Bright Horizons regarding this issue—but there is still much to be improved around this, especially concerning transportation.

In order to expand and improve on the ICSD Pre-K program, major policy changes would have to occur on the national level.

According to the Rutgers Graduate School of Education Fact Sheet, less than five million of the nation’s roughly eight million three and four-year-olds attend any preschool, most of their programs are not high quality, and 45 percent of these programs are only part-day. President Biden’s 2021 plan for Universal Pre-K (UPK) would include all three four-year olds and cost $200 billion over 10 years, which averages out to roughly $20 billion per year. This might sound like a lot, but in the grand scheme of US federal spending, it is quite achievable. To put this cost in perspective, the Tax Cut of 2018 was $2.3 trillion over 10 years—about 10 times the cost of UPK. Not only is the cost of UPK doable, but it actually has a long-term cost-benefit. According to data from the Washington Center for Equitable Growth,

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investment in young children has positive effects on the US economy by raising incomes, improving the skills of the workforce, reducing poverty, strengthening US global competitiveness, improving health outcomes, reducing crime and incarceration rates, and reducing medical expenditures during adulthood.

Their analysis yields a cost-benefit ratio for Biden’s UPK of a minimum of 1.68 to 1 over a 10-year period—meaning that for every dollar spent on UPK, the federal economy receives $1.68 back over time—proving that UPK is not only an essential moral project for young low-income children, but is also a reasonable financial investment that benefits the US economy as a whole.

Overall, quality early education is essential to brain development which impacts all life experiences. By connecting with families and prioritizing inclusive special education, ICSD Pre-K does an excellent job of providing an accessible preschool program for many of Ithaca’s underserved four-year-olds. However, changes on a federal level are necessary to serve all children who would benefit from ICSD Pre-K.

The Bagel, Reviewed

By MANU BOSTEELS

Image courtesy of The Infatuation's BagelsininNYC" NYC Image courtesy of The Infatuation's"Best "Best Bagels One: Context First proffered in 13th-century Arabic cookbooks, this is a densely baked, thickly seasoned, crunchy-on-the-outside, soft-centered, boiled-then-baked product compatible with unlimited flavors.

Typically combined with cream cheese spreads and topped with smoked salmon, my own recipe additionally calls for capers and lemon juice. However, some report that tomatoes, onions— or sweet toppings for the candied counterparts, among them the famous cinnamon-raisin sibling—can all add delightful flavors.

The bagel is a major innovation, perhaps among our species’ top ten culinary creations, landing it among the tortilla, sliced bread, cheese, and chocolate.

Continued on page 20

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The Bagel, Reviewed Continued from page 19 Two: Pairings The dressed bagel collaborates beautifully with a drive through the verdant country roads of Upstate New York, with a red checkered picnic blanket and a lake view; with a wraparound porch and playing cards; with a backyard deck, a summer morning with dew on the grass, and two friends; with the bustle of an East Coast city and someone to walk around with.

Honorable mentions for bagel pairings include: cafeteria tables, surrounded by jealous high school compatriots; the campus of a local university, accompanied by a bike (for transportation) and a book; the sidewalks of the East Village; orange juice.

Three: Consumption Methods You might meet outside the establishment providing the bagels and wait for a considerable period in the classic New York City line before ordering your toasted everything bagel with scallion cream cheese and a small Thai iced tea on the side.

The baker informs you that the bagels have just come out of the oven, and toasting is unnecessary. You might pay the cashier in cash (no cards accepted) and marvel at how she, in less than five seconds, does perfect mental math and distributes your exact change in clinking, shiny coins, which you happily deposit in the tip jar. The scallion spread melts into the dough as you walk to a bench in the park.

The bagel is gone in less than a quarter-hour and you are satisfied.

Or, you might acquire the bagels first, early in the morning to beat the city rush, and speed walk through crowds of students and dogs to make it back to your apartment, having bought lox in the nearby market to avoid the popular-bagel-store salmon surcharge. You might toast the half-dozen bagels at home and set up a bagel creation station on your dining room table, complete with Topo Chico and its pleasurable effervescence.

The bagels are gone in forty-five minutes, and you are beyond satisfied. You feel the (slightly overdone) satisfaction for the rest of the day and take at least one nap.

Or, you might take the back route through apartment buildings and parking lots on your bike with a pack on your back to arrive at the Triphammer commercial complex and, within it, the bakery that shares a name with your town. You might then order a half-moon cookie along with your bagels and take the same route home, albeit with a weighted backpack, higher gear on your bike’s groupset, and considerably more miles per hour— the route home being downhill.

Again, the bagels are no more after forty-five minutes have elapsed, though the strain of your fast cycling keeps the satisfaction from becoming excessive.

Four: Conclusions The bagel is positively scrumptious, providing for an idyllic weekend meal, and particularly fantastic as one of your first meals of the day. Absolute Bagels, Ithaca Bakery, Collegetown Bagels, Ess-a-Bagel—this innovation has multiple notable homes in the state. All deserve a visit, though Absolute Bagels on the Upper West Side sells by far the most marvelous bagel you can find. Absolute Bagels does to the everything bagel with scallion

cream cheese what Shaq does to the average population, or what Peter the Great did to his Russian contemporaries: it towers over the competition.

So good is the bagel, in fact, that it could be considered criminal not to have tried the creation on at least one occasion. For the lactose-intolerants and gluten-liberated, options abound.

Some guidelines for the inexperienced: the everything bagel should not be combined with anything other than cream cheese.

A brief inquiry of educators in my school revealed that an everything bagel with butter was recommended at least once (positively atrocious). Savory bagels reign supreme, always and without exception. The cinnamon-raisin bagel, though popular, ranks (in my book) several tiers lower than even the worst sesame, poppy seed, onion, or everything bagel.

Overall Score: Five stars out of five.

Parting Words

By JINHO PARK I.

For the past year, I have had the honor of serving as the Editor-in-Chief of The Tattler. Without a doubt, serving this Board has been the greatest privilege of my life. At every meeting, I have been continuously impressed with the talent, dedication, and maturity of this Board. In fact, they have impressed me so much and so often that I’ve often found myself sitting in meetings with one question in mind: do they even need me here?

Of course they do. Without me, how could they remember to stop all the impassioned discussions and go home?

The truth is that this Board is astonishing. In the past year, they have managed to double the average number of pages in each issue while still improving upon the quality of each article.

They have written two editorials on critical subjects every month and fostered meaningful dialogue throughout our community.

As an aside, I would like to note that their first drafts of editorials have been so polished that I have had little more to suggest than the addition of a few Oxford commas. Collectively, they have created these beautiful issues that we see around at IHS and around town: these eloquent and engaging morsels of the student experience.

They have done all this because they care about this paper—because they truly care. It is why they show up on Friday after every long school week. It is why they send me emails late at night—asking if The Tattler can cover an important student event or expand our distribution or whether an em dash (an object of which I am admittedly much too fond) is appropriate.

Although I suspect there are many reasons why they care about this paper—the joy of self-expression, the clout, the slightly stale mints Ms. Lynn gives out—above all it is because they believe in the power of a student publication. They believe that entire schools can, should, and must shake when students write with conviction. With our monthly issues, I firmly believe that we have created some ripples, if not some shocks.

II.

Despite all of our ripples, not enough has changed downstream. In editorials this past year, we argued for the necessity

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of recycling at IHS, higher staff pay and appreciation, and for sex to be taken out of SchoolTool. In these examples, we’ve gone zero for three. IHS still doesn’t recycle, staff pay is increasing at a rate slower than inflation, and sex designation is still in SchoolTool. I’m not cherry-picking our losses here. Our editorials, which are widely-read and prompt significant community discussion, have not created enough actual change.

The lack of change, however, isn’t the problem. After all, even the writings in national papers (think New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic) talk incessantly about the need for reform on climate change, economic inequality, voter suppression, and yet little is ever done. In my view, the real problem is that at the administrative level, student voice is rarely considered. Student voices are heard, but I believe they are not considered, especially when they matter most. As an example, consider discussions surrounding the seven-period proposal here at IHS. While a seven-period schedule is always described as a proposal by the administration, which implies that its implementation is tentative, it is discussed as if it is inevitable.

This attitude is seen in the lack of alternative proposals and how the seven-period proposal is defended fervently even when its flaws are so obvious. The seven-period schedule will lead to the depletion of fine arts and music programs, create a logistical lunch nightmare, and strip students of agency in their education.

So although students speak passionately and eloquently about these faults of the proposed schedule—I know because I’ve been at these meetings—the future feels painfully rigid. The ostensible impossibility of further change makes talking about the schedule feel futile. Caring is the right thing to do, but it feels as if there is no point to it.

Certainly, I feel like I care less and less. Last year, I might have written passionately about the problems with detracked math at our middle schools or our inevitable seven-period schedule. Now, the detracked math article remains an improperly labeled yet properly neglected Google Document (it’s called “ugh”). The seven-period schedule wasn’t even worth a document. I spent a lot of time wondering why I couldn’t bring myself to write about these things anymore, and I came up with a good list of excuses in my head. I told myself I was too busy to write and that I didn’t care enough about these issues anymore.

But while I was both busy and more disinterested, the actual reason I was never able to write those pieces was because I didn’t believe anything would change. And since I believed nothing was going to change, writing seemed a futile exercise.

Attempts at drafting articles felt purely performative, as if I was writing just to show that I really cared about these issues, not because I wanted to articulate a point or explain issues to readers.

A few weeks ago, I went into Boynton with Louisa (our outgoing Opinion Editor) and Ruby (our Features Editor) to speak about The Tattler. I talked about what I believe are the two reasons this paper exists, which are to uplift creative voices and to allow students to speak against wrongs. After the presentation, one girl said, “I hate the block schedule here, but I don’t want to write an article about it, because they’re not going to change it.” Louisa, Ruby, and I all reassured her of the importance of writing that article. We told her that if the block schedule was a big problem (and let’s be frank, it is—how can we expect middle schoolers to pay attention for 80 minutes when high-schoolers

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struggle with 45?), she had to write about it in The Bugle so someone would listen and things could change. But as I reassured her, I felt insincere: here I was encouraging a sixth-grader to tackle the block schedule at Boynton when I myself wasn’t tackling the seven-period schedule at IHS either.

This feeling that things will not change—that they cannot change—is pervasive here at IHS, and it is truly damaging. It discourages students from speaking out about problems initially, and for students who have worked diligently to enact change— such as this brilliant Tattler Board, the tireless Representatives to the Board of Education, the many other student leaders in student-led organizations—this feeling is defeating.

I would like to emphasize that I am not claiming that an effort is not made to listen to student voices. The IHS administration does invite students (and from what I’ve heard, parents and teachers) to have discussions about many of the policy proposals that directly affect our lives. However, when the results of these discussions do not prompt changes to proposals, I seriously question their purpose. Are they supposed to truly invite community feedback? Or is their purpose simply to appease—to ensure that it appears that an inclusive effort was made?

III. In this section, I’d like to speak directly to students who’ll remain at IHS next year, and more specifically, to those who’ll write for The Tattler in years to come. I understand that the prior section might seem discouraging to you. It sincerely saddens me that the reality of creating administrative change is so grim.

But even though not much often changes from writing in The Tattler, I implore all of you to keep on investigating and writing.

Do not give up on this good work.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to talk to my eighthgrade English teacher. We talked about a lot, namely the point of going to college, her experiences when she was my age; but most memorably, the need for student journalism. She reassured me of the importance of work in a student paper. She said that lots of teachers continue to read student writing in The Tattler, and although writing might not prompt immediate change, it lets others understand the experiences of students.

I agree with her. While change might be a good goal to strive for, I believe that it should not be the purpose. The point of expository and persuasive writing is to expand others’ perspectives, and by writing in The Tattler, you are already doing that.

Many people read The Tattler, and some of those people are in positions where they can create actual change. But that aside, I believe that the investigative and literary experiences you’ll go through by being an engaged Tattler writer will make it worth it for you.

Frankly, this school needs all of you. Over the past few years, there have been worrying trends both for this school and for the district. More and more administrative changes—the recent schedule changes, the blanket grading policies, the homogenization of classes—do not benefit students, and it will be up to all of you to write about it. I regret that I was not able to do more during my time here, but I hope that I have at least contributed to creating an environment at The Tattler that will allow those of you who remain to advocate for changes that make the school a better place. Collectively, you all can make the difference.

Continued on page 22

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Parting Words Continued from page 21 IV. I owe so much to this paper. In particular, I owe my thanks to countless individuals over my four years with this paper, but I sadly can only thank a few here. I would like to thank Vaynu for giving me a position on the Board that I did not even apply for; Anna, for being a thoughtful mentor as I learned to be Editor-in-Chief; Ms. Lynn, for her calm wisdom and mint LifeSavers; Louisa, for pushing me to be both a better leader and writer; Katie, for reassuring me that I was doing a good job at it all; and of course Adam, for helping me with every decision.

I love this paper—this little, humble paper that we call The Tattler. Even after dozens of articles, I still cannot wait to see my words in print and to have others ask me about them. While I enjoy the personal struggle of creating an article, I love the communality of writing an article for this paper. I love how section editors find faults in my writing, how friends and family ask me about the articles I write, and how strangers approach me in hallways to agree with or refute the points I make.

For so long, The Tattler has been my literary home, a haven where I have molded my sometimes fragmented ideas into complete pieces. And it pains me to leave it behind. The realization that this will be my final article, that there are no encores, just this one swansong, has made this article more difficult to write than any other I have ever written before.

But as I look back, I cannot help but appreciate how much this paper has given to me. Just as I have molded thoughts into articles, my experiences in The Tattler have molded me. I am no longer the stuttering freshman who wrote about the word “like,” the sentimental junior who wrote passionately about his love for milk, or even the exhausted senior who for a brief moment lost his belief; I am fragments of these people, but these fragments now create a larger whole.

Forget Energy Independence— America Must Clean Up its Climate Act

By LOUISA MILLER-OUT

T

he world is on fire. According to the United Nations Environment Programme, even if all global climate action targets are met by 2030, the planet will still warm by nearly three degrees this century. To put this in perspective, the previous internationally agreed maximum temperature rise was one and a half degrees. And a three-degree rise in global tem peratures is the best-case scenario. That figure could exceed

10 degrees if countries fall short of their energy targets, which many are currently doing, including the good old United States.

Major emissions-producing countries falling short of energy targets will be disastrous; the immediate transition to clean energy is clearly urgent. But America, with its head buried deep in the sand, is still mired in unclean energy practices.

In response to the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, the United States has imposed heavy economic sanctions on Russia, including banning the importation of Russian fossil fuels like oil, gas, and coal. As a result, domestic oil drilling and fracking have expanded, meaning America is becoming more self-sufficient than ever before in the realm of energy production. Some view this trend favorably as a step towards energy independence for the US. I consider it a major lurch in the wrong direction.

Multiple definitions of energy independence exist. If one defines it as a country exporting more fuel sources than it imports, then the US is already energy independent. If one, however, defines it as a lack of reliance on global markets, the US is unlikely to become energy independent in the near future, because we still import and refine a substantial amount of oil from foreign sources. Although it has a similar ring to it, this goal is not the same as carbon neutrality. In fact, it’s diametrically opposed.

While carbon neutrality is an approach to reduce net greenhouse gas emissions and prevent climate change, the pursuit of energy independence includes no consideration for environmental health. If anything, it will increase our national dependence on dirty sources of fuel and push us to ransack the earth further in search of black gold. The term “energy independence” itself is illusory in nature—we are conditioned to see independence as a source of nationalistic pride, even when it means destroying Indigenous lands and waters in pursuit of non-renewable resources and causing irrevocable damage to the biosphere.

Energy self-reliance goes hand-in-hand with the abandonment of our energy goals, a decision that will hasten the extinction of our species and the end of life as we know it.

Some argue that energy independence increases a nation’s quality of life as it keeps energy profits domestic, often citing Norway as an example. However, Norway is one of the world’s largest exporters of crude oil and natural gas, harvested via drilling in the North Sea and Barents Sea. Despite having the largest fleet of electric vehicles per capita in the world—most of which are powered by hydroelectricity—the country is still a significant producer of carbon emissions on the world stage. Although they hope to become carbon neutral by 2030, they plan to achieve this mostly through buying carbon offsets from other countries and lack specific plans for actually reducing domestic emissions.

Norway’s utilization of hydroelectric power and electrification of much of its transportation sector is commendable, but the externalities generated by its bloated petroleum industry are still major contributors to climate change.

Gains in quality of life do not have to come at the expense of the environment. In fact, they cannot—whatever short-term luxuries citizens enjoy will be mercilessly undone by catastrophic climate events in the long run. The only way to achieve lasting improvements in human quality of life, and indeed, the only way to secure the future of human life at all, is a wholesale transition to clean energy. Instead of Nordic countries that still rely heavily on dirty fuel, I look to countries like Costa Rica, which is set to reach net-negative carbon emissions by 2050; the nation is

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implementing concrete action steps like reclaiming forests, providing electric public transportation, and managing crops efficiently—all using solar, wind, and hydroelectric power. Costa Rica is uncompromising and ambitious in its pursuit of a clean future, and its up-front investments in this goal are projected to yield a 110 percent return. Reduced highway congestion, cleaner water, and cheaper transportation will provide savings and benefits which will elevate the already high quality of life of its citizens. The country is putting its national motto, pura vida (or “pure life”), into practice and counting on a future dominated by actually sustainable industries. At this point, that’s the only future we humans will live to see.

The United States, by contrast—as well as other highly industrialized Western countries—are deep in the pockets of despotic oil companies. As much as Biden pays lip service to his supposed goal of carbon neutrality by 2050, our country is simply not stripping away corporate power. And at the end of the day, no matter how well countries like Costa Rica do, it won’t matter one bit if the world’s biggest producer of greenhouse gases (US) is still pandering to corporations at the expense of the planet. As long as this country gives capital privilege over human, animal and plant life, over the very habitability of our world, we can kiss our future goodbye. True and lasting sustainability, which can only be achieved by a transition to clean energy, is an infinitely favorable goal to energy independence. America must pursue it with everything it has.

To Our Departing Editors: Fare Thee Well!

By YASMEEN ALASS, ALICE BURKE, MUKUND GAUR, ADDIE HOULE-HITZ, TANIA HAO, FRANCES KLEMM, RUBY LaROCCA, HANNAH SHVETS

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his year, the Tattler Editorial Board has ten graduating members and each and every one of them have devoted so much of their time, energy, and talent into making this publication the best it could be. As the non-graduating Board members, we wanted to let them know that we’re so grateful for their leadership and contributions to The Tattler. We will miss them greatly.

Dear Kadek, I have to remind myself that you only joined the Tattler Board midway through the year because the impact you’ve had on The Tattler has been tremendous. I think everyone can agree

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that The Tattler’s reach has spread this year and it’s arguably almost entirely because of your influence. By running our social media page on which we’ve gained hundreds of new followers, your graphics and share-worthy posts have made our paper that everyone works so hard on relevant and coordinated. Your many, many ideas contributions to the April Fools' issue had everyone cackling and I can promise you that your satirical articles, your editorials, and your overall commitment to The Tattler is hugely admired by every member of the Board. Your wit will be missed by everyone, but your lasting contributions to the greater publicity of The Tattler will live on. ~ Frances ’23 Dear Katie, You’ve been on the Board for my whole experience with The Tattler, first as the Features Editor and then News Editor and now as the Arts Editor. I always think of you as one of my favorite editors to work with because even when I was in 9th grade and still wasn’t used to the idea of someone critiquing my articles, I always valued your advice and additions more than anyone, which I’ve always hoped to emulate since I myself became an editor. Your writing has consistently been one of my favorites to read because of your talent for detail and ability to present refreshing, relatable, and important takes that make the reader feel like a close friend. Your article, “Sleep Procrastination,” is one of my favorites of yours because I feel it represents your ability to find an issue that is relatable but offers smart commentary on the habit’s pros and cons and how it can be uncontrollable but one can simultaneously feel in control. Your pieces are always comforting and relevant and I think most consistent readers of The Tattler know your name just by how often they read an incredible article and look up to see who wrote it. In a high school paper, your writing feels like you’ve been doing it for decades.

To not Katie: If you haven’t read her pieces (I don’t know why you wouldn’t have), please do yourself a favor and read some at ihstattler.com—they’re all fantastic. ~ Frances ’23 Dear Louisa, You’ve been my role model throughout my entire Tattler career. It’s slightly embarrassing to express just how much I look up to you. You’re a brilliant writer and I always look forward to reading your pieces in each Tattler issue—whether they’re short stories with beautiful, flowery prose or opinion articles on complex subjects that you somehow always tackle successfully.

Working with you on that one editorial was so amazing for me because I got the chance to learn from your process and how you took to organizing and revising the piece. In our boardroom discussions, your comments are perceptive and thought-provoking, and your dedication to this paper is insane (in the Tattler website analytics, your name appears as one of the most commonly used bylines). You’re also an all-around kind person, a really good cellist, and you possess a sort of maturity that I hope to! I know that whatever you end up doing after high school, it’s going Continued on page 26

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26 To Our Departing Editors: Fare Thee Well!

Continued from page 23

to gain someday. Thank you for being someone I could always look up to! I know that whatever you end up doing after high school, it’s going to be great. ~ Tania ’24 Dear Ella, There aren't even words for how lucky The Tattler was to have you as Layout Editor this year. The work editors like Layout and Graphics do often goes unacknowledged, but it really is what makes our issues what they are every month. The effort you put in to make sure everything looked visually appealing was incredible. Late night messages requesting additional photos because the spacing wasn't quite right were the highlight of my year. From the time we used to do ballet together to being on the Board together, you have always had a way of making me (and others) laugh. Your kindness, humor, talent, and dedication are just some of the things that make me look up to you. Thank you for everything that you do! Have an amazing time at college and I know the artistic abilities you applied to Layout Editor will take you far in life. I know one day you’ll have some famous art or embroidery business, and I’ll always be a loyal customer. ~ Hannah ’23 Dear Raia, I’m pretty sure you were the first person I ever talked to during a Tattler Board meeting last year at the first combined-board Google Meet when all the old editors were training us newbies on the positions we would assume the following year.

I remember you describing your role as the Tattler Archivist; even though I didn’t know you at all, I could immediately see your passion for and dedication to The Tattler. In a few months, as I began to read more of your work, I started to realize the brilliance of your writing as well, and came to especially look forward to your beautifully emotional prose and unique poems published almost every month. Additionally, the contributions you have made to editorial meetings and as a section editor have been tremendous. Your confidence in speaking your mind during group discussions is something I have admired this entire year, and your ideas for the Literary section have pushed many writers, including me, to step out of their comfort zone and write from the heart. Finally, even as I’ve gotten to know you better as a writer and fellow Board member this year, I’ll always think of you first and foremost as one of my closest friends―an empathetic, supportive person who has made every single moment of The Tattler this year memorable and precious. Therefore, and perhaps selfishly, it’s not your writing or contributions to Board discussions that I’ll miss the most, but instead moments like those when I sat with you on the counters in Ms. Lynn’s room during a meeting and you made me laugh so hard I cried. ~ Alice ’23 Dear Adam, Your insight throughout this year has been a cornerstone

of every Tattler issue. Whether it’s pointing out something we missed in an editorial, or adding new, illuminating information from your experiences as a Representative to the Board of Education, your perception of the fundamental issues that plague this school has contributed more to every editorial than can be put into words. Succinctly put, you seem to have your finger on the pulse of IHS in a way that no one else does—a skill that has time and time again proven to be priceless. And behind the scenes, every Tattler publication benefits immensely from your meticulous copy editing—a job that is easily overlooked simply because of how well you do it. I’m not sure if it’s some kind of sixth sense, but you seem to catch all the little mistakes we make—mistakes that anyone else would miss. That is to say, I’m not sure how many hours you've spent changing “--”s or “-”s into “—,” (Tattler readers will know that we love our em dashes) but however many, we can’t thank you enough. ~ Mukund ’24 Dear Aitan, Thank you so much for everything you have brought to the Tattler Board this year. You are always such a joy to see in meetings and I always love to see how you tackle different topics for sports—I couldn’t begin to come up with such interesting sport-related articles. You always light up a room whenever you walk in and even though I only joined the Board this year, you made the space feel so open and welcoming. I really appreciate all of the great ideas you brought to editorial meetings and the enthusiasm you bring to all of your writing and everything you do. It’s been so much fun getting to know you this year and I wish you nothing but the best as you move into the next chapter of your life beyond high school. Thank you for always bringing laughter into the Editorial Board room, even if we’ve all had a long week I know we can always count on you to cheer us up. ~ Addie ’23 Dear Sammy, Even people who are funny and at ease with their friends can suddenly become stiff and awkward in a room full of people they don’t know well. Not you. I’ve long admired your marvelous ability to make jokes and oxygenate a room full of self-conscious people, to share your humor in a situation where it would be much easier to be quiet or unsmiling. It is for me the kind of bravery that really matters in high school. I’ve been charmed by your ability to be hilarious and cheery while still setting an example of professionalism and thoughtfulness. I remember that the first few editorial meetings I ever attended at the beginning of this year were eerily quiet. We were emerging from a long year of isolation and most of us had forgotten what normal classroom or club dynamics were. Some of us felt like an extension of the Zoom school, where it was appropriate to sit blankly and not make jokes—that’s what it had been like all year. But you, along with some other remarkable seniors, were able to transform our sad little space into a lively and comfortable arena for the work we do. Whether it’s taking twenty minutes to open a bag of chips or making a witty one-liner at the expense of the administration,

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Don’t get too serious over there on the pre-med track— With admiration, Ruby ’24 Dear Adowyn, Before I became an avid reader of The Tattler, I would only pick up issues to read the most recent "Schmoop’s Scoop." I was obsessed with the style and how funny they were. Your contributions to The Tattler inspired me to read more, until I eventually became a part of the Board. Every month, I would make sure to continue my tradition: I would grab an issue and open the Arts section then read the "Schmoop’s Scoop" of the month. Then, I would check out the back page. Your work as the Backpage editor never fell short of amazing. Every Backpage was unique, consistent, and so creative. Your “Stranger’s Lullaby,” with no exaggeration, blew my mind. Your creativity and skill is truly inspirational. I wish you the best of luck in your life after high school. ~ Yasmeen ’24 Dear Jinho, You are the busiest person I know—and yet, you have somehow magically made it seem as though you have all the time in the world for other people and their problems. In every single interaction I’ve had with you—mostly through writing, thanks

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to the pandemic—you have addressed my niggling worries with wisdom and grace. You have planted the seeds for my best ideas, asked the smartest probing questions, sent me in the direction of the most exciting and stimulating resources. As Features editor this year, there have been several times when I’ve worked on pieces when the writing was an emotionally frazzling process and the whole experience left me feeling vulnerable. In each case, you took the time to email me personally and show yourself to be a good and careful reader, as well as a thoughtful and savvy editor. All your responses made me feel heard and understood—and more importantly, like the work we all do together is valuable and worth working hard for.

The way you balance professionalism with kindness and the degree of generosity of spirit and sensitivity you display on every occasion makes you my exemplar. Time and again you have exceeded all reasonable expectations of your role as Editor-in-Chief. You have shown me what having authority really looks like. You have the remarkable ability to improve the tone of a discussion with a well-timed and thoughtful comment; on innumerable occasions in meetings, when we were all collectively getting too self-righteous or too stubborn, you have completely reoriented us, transforming the feeling of the room. I can only assume that you treat everyone in your vicinity with this kind of attention, care, and thoughtfulness. You have a million wonderful properties, Jinho, but above all you make people feel heard and seen.

My warmest regards and well-wishes for the future, Ruby ’24

By RUBY ZAWEL

What special food would you like to see featured in the IHS vending machines once every marking period?

“Sushi"- Noam Keinan and Judah Swartwood, ’25

“A carton of raspberries"- Shea Baker, ’22 Continued on Page 28

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28 Hall Monitor Continued from page 27

“Coconut chips”- Bianca Alex, ’24

“Salmon jerky”- Luke Jablonski, ’24

“Boba”- Ella Hufnagel and Sophie Wei, ’25

“Shrimp”- Charlotte Tay and Ella Schneider, ’25

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Frida Kahlo: The Life and Politics of a Visionary

By VALENTINA LEBRET

The Two Fridas, 1939

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n 1939, Frida Kahlo painted Las Dos Fridas, or The Two Fridas, one of her most complex and renowned self-portraits. In it, she portrays two versions of herself against a stormy background, connected to one another by a single artery, the first with a broken heart and the other with a whole one. As would become quite common in her work, Kahlo used both the physical appearance and clothing of her subjects politically, her first self being dressed in a Victorian (European) gown and the other in traditional Tejuana (Indigenous) garments. And, while her wounded self carries a pair of bloodstained scissors, her healthy self carries a photograph of Diego Rivera, her husband whom she had divorced the same year. All these symbols allude to Kahlo’s politics, love, and identity, which beg the question: who was Frida Kahlo?

Kahlo was born on July 6, 1907, in Coyoacán, Mexico. In 1925, she was severely injured in a bus accident and became bedridden for many months, reportedly calling this period her “painful planet, transparent as ice.” During this time, she used a

lap easel, as well as a mirror affixed to her bed canopy to continue to paint self-portraits. Although she largely recovered, she lived with chronic pain throughout her life and was forced to wear a metal back brace. Her disability plays a central role in paintings such as The Broken Column (1944) and Henry Ford Hospital (1932), which show her fractured spine and miscarriage, respectively. Many believe it was during this isolation that Kahlo’s distinctive style first emerged, which tended to blend magical realism, surrealism, and traditional Aztec symbols.

Her appearance and gender expression also changed dramatically during this time, as Kahlo began emphasizing her facial hair and somber expressions in her paintings. This blend of masculine and feminine elements, seen well in Self Portrait with Cropped Hair (1940), existed both as a defiance of gender norms and colonialist beauty standards, as well as an exploration of her own queerness. This exploration can also be seen in her relationships; indeed, Kahlo’s marriage with Rivera was a tumultuous one, marked by constant infidelity from both parties. Kahlo herself allegedly had numerous affairs with men and women, including Leon Trotsky, Josephine Baker, and, allegedly,American artist Georgia O'Keeffe.

In any analysis of Kahlo’s work, it is also important to mention that which she once called “the only real reason to live”: communism. During Kahlo’s early life, the Mexican Revolution broke out, which brought with it a new constitution, socialist values, land reforms, and equal pay laws for women. Kahlo was a steadfast supporter of the Revolution, joining the Mexican Communist Party in 1927 and the Fourth International, a socialist group, in 1936. She later befriended Tina Modotti and Julio Antonio Metta, both Communist exiles, and helped Trotsky and his family gain asylum in Mexico in 1937. Kahlo was a fierce critic of capitalism, which she illustrated in her painting Self Portrait on the Borderline Between Mexico and the United States (1932).

Today, Kahlo is revered as an icon of feminism and Mexicanidad (an art style emphasizing Mexican culture), with “Fridamania” sweeping across many online platforms. Some argue this commodification depoliticizes her message, with the mainstream media too often forgetting her radicalism. However, this radicalism existed as intrinsic to her art and identity, and must not be ignored. Both in art and life, Kahlo refused the gender norms and the colonialist past forced onto her, and explored her trauma with brutal and unprecedented honesty. She painted herself as she was: a brown, queer, disabled revolutionary.

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The IHS Theater Department Needs More Diversity

By HANNAH SCHVETS, KYRA OTOOLE

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t’s no secret that with drama comes...drama. And of course there are certainly very few students attending Ithaca High school who are unfamiliar with the cancellation of an IHS production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame due to issues regarding the diversity of its cast. Obviously, there was a great deal of debate surrounding the issue, with many believing that calling off the show was unwarranted. However, warranted or not, it was productive in starting a conversation about a larger question: are we doing enough to create a welcoming space within our arts departments?

We will preface this by saying that there are very few areas in which IHS doesn’t need to improve, to better take into account the well being of its students. Choosing to discuss the issues of inclusivity in our school’s performing arts division does not mean that there are not ongoing issues in many other areas of our school.

To further summarize for those who are not familiar with the events which occurred a few years ago, the controversy was caused by an IHS theater director casting a white lead to play a character who was written as a person of color. Although most likely not done with any malicious intent, this action did not go without creating quite the stir in the ICSD and Ithaca community. It ended up affecting many, as it was an opportunity for representation that in the end was chosen to be ignored. The show was eventually canceled, due most likely to the growing intensity of the argument, and Hairspray was put into production instead.

The musical Hairspray centers around two white, teenage girls growing up in Baltimore during a period of segregation. The show contains positive lessons about dealing with prejudice and bias, mostly regarding race, but there are also messages about body positivity, the impact of student activism, and dealing with sexism in the entertainment industry. Overall, it’s a well liked show and a step in the right direction, but is it a big enough step? Maybe not. Although the show was written to portray a story of segregation and overcoming odds, it remains (as most works written by white authors about this subject do) a somewhat white washed and romanticized interpretation of the Civil Rights movement. Yes, Hairspray is a show which contains a few characters of color. However, there are an infinite number of musicals out there—many of which are not written for specifically white casts. This means there is always an opportunity to diversify, without putting on a musical like this; which on the surface, appears to tackle the issues of racism, but upon further dissection, plays perfectly into the trope of white saviorism. So of course, going straight to a show like this after receiving backlash for failing to provide representation for students of color begs the question; was this done as a progressive action, or as a guiltfree way to still put on a musical while keeping white leads? But of course, I digress Following this whole fiasco, let’s skip ahead a few years. The pandemic caused our school to close for the majority of the year.

High School Musical ended up being canceled (unfortunately, considering the show has plenty of room for diversity) and it gather together for rehearsals. Instead of trying to recast High

High School Musical ended up being canceled (unfortunately, considering the show has plenty of room for diversity) and it ended up being quite some time before performers were able to gather together for rehearsals. Instead of trying to recast High School Musical, the school decided to put on an entirely new show: Legally Blonde.

The show ended up being, surprisingly, very well done—especially considering the time that had elapsed since the previous musical. Despite the challenges of the past few years, the performances had great sets, wonderful dancing and vocal performances, and were technically well done with an amazing pit orchestra as well. Overall, the shows’ execution wasn’t particularly flawed in any way: the issue here came down to the choice of show.

Where Hairspray had its problems in conveying certain ideas, it managed to find a way to successfully get some important points across. But if you look at the plot of a show like Legally Blonde, there are very few times where parts of it are actually relevant to issues we see today. The show’s main protagonist is a natural blonde, something that is most common in those with a melanin deficit, and, by extension, mainly associated with white individuals. Therefore, it would be difficult for a person of color to be able to play Elle Woods—not just because most people of color don’t have naturally blonde hair, but because people of color are a real marginalized group and would not choose to complain about the fact that they aren’t taken seriously because they have blonde hair. Furthermore, hair is something that is so easily changed, whereas race is permanent. Basically, where Hairspray may have been a step in the right direction, choosing Legally Blonde was very much a step in the wrong direction.

There is a simple solution to this issue. We need to start choosing more diverse musicals to perform in our school—shows in which the characters themselves were originally played by people of color. Steering clear of shows that tend to fetishize having pale skin and light hair (many older shows do), as well as shows that often use the excuse of being in less diverse areas of the world to have a cast that is primarily white (something many people have argued in defense of shows such as Frozen) are also wise ideas.

Finding ways to promote musicals in a way that appeals to all students, not just those who most often participate in theater, can make a huge difference in the community that we, as theater enthusiasts, are attempting to build. Theater has always been one of those things that will feel exclusive no matter where it takes place, which is why making an effort to actually branch out to new people is so important. Making strides towards being more inclusive can make a lot of difference by making students comfortable with participating in the arts. Ithaca High School’s Drama Department can and should do better. A first step could be having a show that doesn’t center around white people sometime soon!

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BTS Permission to Dance on State in Las Vegas: The Most Magical Night of My Life

By ALICE BURKE

BTS Concert by Alice Burke

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TS, a worldwide-famous Korean pop group, visited the United States this past April to perform four shows for thousands of fans, who rushed to Las Vegas to see their idols. The K-pop group drew over 200,000 fans to Allegiant Stadium—Nevada’s largest entertainment venue—where they performed on April 8th, 9th, 15th, and 16th. These Las Vegas shows were not BTS’ first performances in the United States post-pandemic; in early December, the K-pop group traveled to Los Angeles and performed for fans at Sofi Stadium. In November, I had tried to buy tickets to see one of these shows in California, but tickets sold out during the VIP ticket presale, and by the time I was eligible to get tickets, there were none left. Instead, I bought online tickets and enjoyed a livestream of the concert from my bedroom at home. At the time, I was very disappointed to have only been able to buy online tickets, as I had no idea at the time that BTS would return to the United States only a few months later, and that I would be able to go see them.

When ticket sales were announced in early March for the Las Vegas performances, I was ecstatic, and determined to conquer the ticket-buying process so I would not miss out on a live concert like I did a few months previously. This included buying a membership to BTS’ official fan club, registering as a “Verified Fan” on Ticketmaster, and leaving track practice an hour early on the day of the presale simply to join the queue early and get ready for the madness of ticket-buying. A bit dramatic and unnecessary? Perhaps. But it was worth it, because a month later,

I was on a plane flying to Nevada, about to see the concert of my life.

I attended the Friday, April 15th concert, and what immediately struck me was the sheer size of the crowd. Thousands of people walked from my hotel to the stadium, even hours before the concert began, wearing BTS-themed clothing and carrying signs to support their favorite artists. I was no exception; I wore a headband adorned with mini Mang plushies (Mang is a cartoon pony designed by J-Hope, one of BTS’s rappers) and waited in line for over an hour to buy a light stick that would connect the stadium’s bluetooth system. These light sticks―known to BTS fans as “ARMY Bombs,” an acknowlegement to “ARMY,” the fandom’s name―connected to audience members’ phones and located their seat location. This allowed the stadium officials to light up different sections of the audience during the performance, matching the beat of various songs with different colors and patterns. It was like using phone lights during a concert but on a completely new level.

Regardless of how cool the lightsticks were, nothing compared to the performance itself. The concert lasted about two and a half hours, and because BTS―and most K-Pop groups in general― have no opening acts, I got to watch my favorite artists perform the entire time. At 7:30 p.m., the concert began with a short clip played on giant screens in the center of the stadium; the ensuing roar from the crowd as each members’ face flashed across the screens was thunderous, but nothing prepared me for the wall of sound a few moments later as the members finally began walking on stage. Immediately, intro music for “ON,” a single from BTS’s studio album Map of the Soul: 7, began playing, and once again the crowd erupted when Ji-min’s alluring and emotive voice echoed through the stadium as he sang the song’s first line of lyrics.

In short succession, BTS performed their first set of songs for the night: four fast-paced title tracks with intricate dance sequences, soaring vocals, and fast rap sections. As BTS performed the bridge of “ON,” I fell in love over and over again with Jungkook’s captivating high notes and stage presence, and during the song “DNA,” I was mesmerized by the members’ perfectly in-sync footwork. “Fire,” BTS’s lead single for their album Love Yourself: Her, got me jumping in my seat, wildly waving my ARMY Bomb as the stadium lit up in flashes of red and white. By the time the performance of “Dope” came around, I was content to just sit back and watch the rapline leave the audience speechless.

These four songs were only the beginning of an incredible night of music; BTS went on to perform for almost two more Continued on Page 31 hours after their grand opening. Because of the vast range of

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BTS Permission to Dance on State in Las Vegas: The Most Magical Night of My Life Continued from page 31 night of music; BTS went on to perform for almost two more hours after their grand opening. Because of the vast range of genres in BTS’s music, every second of the concert was new and magical. From the slow, emotional ballads dominated by Taehyung’s deep croons and Jin’s angelic vocals to Suga’s fiery raps spit over the punk-inspired beats of the track “Dis-ease,” I was constantly captivated by the members’ talent and stage presence.

I sang along to all of BTS’s Korean songs—and so did the rest of the audience, despite the fact that we were a crowd of primarily English-speaking Americans. The emotion and beauty of the members’ music was enough to transcend any language barrier that may have existed between the audience and the performers.

Of course, singing and dancing for two and a half hours straight is a long time, so after performing their first set, the K-Pop idols ran offstage to take a small break and change into new concert attire. While they changed, videos would play on the giant screens: short skits or―at one point―clips of BTS performing their newest single, “Permission To Dance,” at the United Nations over the summer. Additionally, the members took breaks while on stage, talking to the audience or giving long speeches about their experience in Las Vegas (Nam-joon said he hated being trapped in his hotel room) and their love for their fans (a classic). During one of these breaks, Tae-hyung threw flowers to fans in the crowd and practiced his model walk with streamers from the finale of the previously-played song, “Wings.”

These moments are only a few that illustrate the incredible fan interaction that BTS creates. In fact, the connection between the audience and each BTS member was one of the most meaningful and memorable parts of the entire concert, and even though I sat hundreds of feet away from the main stage, I could still feel the love that my favorite artists had for their fans.

Watching BTS perform in person was such a refreshing experience because each member is so genuine and open with each other and their fans. BTS is not afraid to cry on stage or show their fellow performers affection, mostly by hugging, making finger-hearts, and sitting on each other’s laps. This ability to embrace emotions and show vulnerability, even when in front of thousands of people, is admirable and rejects the ideals of masculinity above all else present in the music industry today.

It also lets ARMY relate to and empathize with BTS members, which is really beautiful and contributes to why I love BTS so much as people—not just as musicians and singers. Furthermore, watching BTS perform live has reaffirmed my conviction that supporting these artists is something I am proud of. I know that the K-Pop industry has faced a lot of scrutiny because of the toxic training culture and group management in certain entertainment companies (of which HYBE, BTS’ label, is not prominent), but when I watched this concert, all I could see was the love these artists have for performing and sharing their art with the world.

Therefore, I believe in supporting the passion of these artists, despite the toxicity within the industry of which they are a part.

After all, they are only doing what they love; they are not the ones responsible for the problems in K-pop, or the music industry in general.

Looking out at the sea of fans during the concert, I realized that at least forty thousand other people felt the same way as I do now. And in reality, this number is even greater; BTS, as one of the world’s most popular music groups, has millions of fans all

over the world―which is not due to luck or chance alone. Rather, BTS has earned their stardom over the past nine years they have been creating and performing music. Ever since their debut of “No More Dream” in 2013, BTS has been releasing music that promotes self-love and battles societal expectations. The meanings behind their songs and the passion they have for their art is what has pushed them to global stardom and what will continue to help them reach even greater heights.

Personally, I will always be grateful for their uplifting and inspiring music, as it has helped me through numerous difficult moments (and I know it has helped others, too). Thus, when I say that seeing BTS in real life was one of the best moments of my life, I’m not exaggerating. I hope I get the chance to see another concert of theirs before the members are drafted for South Korea’s military conscription. And if I do get to go again, I’ll be taking my best friend with me.

Cat in Marrakech by Raia Gutman

Outlined by Taran Knutson

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It’s Not Always What It Seems, Up on the Silver Screen — The Film Industry’s History of Corruption and Abuse Trigger Warning: This article contains mentions of sexual abuse, abuse of power, and eating disorders

By ADDIE HOULE-HITZ

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e all try to shop as consciously as we can. Be it by knowing the company’s methods of production, their treatment of their workers, or what corporations they support, it’s always important to consider a company’s bigger impact on the world around them. However, one thing a lot of people don’t take into consideration is movies and the people who are really behind the screen. Hollywood has a history of corrupt policies, exploitation, and sexual misconduct, not to mention it’s tendancy to excuse certain people from large incidents but hound others for seemingly small ones by comparison.

From the very beginning of Hollywood, back in the silent era, corrupt policies surrounding big stars were far too often overlooked. Even the (arguably) biggest star of the era, Charlie Chaplin, was consistently involved in scandals that could have easily been avoided had Hollywood cracked down on their policies of whom their stars could date. Throughout his career, Charlie Chaplin was often seen dating women who were far, far younger than him. His first high-profile relationship was with a fellow costar, Edna Purivance, and occurred when he was 25 and she was 19. While this age gap isn’t huge, it proceeded to get worse,when four years later,at the age of 29, Chaplin met the then 16 year old actress Mildred Harris. Chaplin relentlessly sent Harris flowers and gifts to her dressing room, eventually leading to them becoming lovers, getting married, losing a child, and then quickly getting a divorce in 1920. This was an absolutely disgusting abuse of power, but it didn’t stop there. Charlie Chaplin would go on to have three more marriages, with age gaps spanning from 14 years (Chaplin being 29, the wife being 15), all the way to 36 years (Chaplin being 54, his wife being 18). However, the press said nothing regarding the age differences. In fact, whenever the media did talk about the relationships, it was never negative things about Charlie, but about the wives.This was often accompanied by consistent commentary on how they looked and what they—apparently—were like.

Yet another consistent corrupt Hollywood policy was the fact that the industry pressured stars to have abortions. Sex sells, and as Hollywood was getting a running start in the 1940s and 50s, they began to rely more and more on this fact. Studios had a death grip on the personal lives of their actresses, often

forbidding them to get married. If they went against this and did get married, they were forbidden from becoming pregnant as it would “tarnish their beauty.” If they further went against the studio and got pregnant, they were often pressured into having abortions—frequently with their careers being on the line of they refused. Names like Judy Garland, Bette Davis, and Joan Crawford all reported being pressured by studios to have (often unsafe) abortions to “preserve” their beauty and child-like figures.

The exploitation of young people in Hollywood is also far too common. Stars were often put on unsafe diets, going to insane extremes. Judy Garland was put on a diet of cigarettes, chicken soup, pills, and black coffee, while opera singer, Maria Callas, literally swallowed a tapeworm in the 1940s to lose weight at the request of the company she was working under. Not to mention the fact that constantly being in the public eye already puts pressure on young stars, and paparazzi does nothing to help. MaryKate Olsenn and Zayne Malik (former One Direction member) both reported disordered eating, binging, and purging habits as results of pressure put on them by both society and the media.

One of the most surprising—and damning—things about Hollywood is its ability to turn a blind eye to certain issues, but hound people for others. Last month, I wrote an article on the Chris Rock scandal at the 2022 Oscars. Will Smith, as a result, was banned from Academy Events for the next ten years, and even lost his award. However, even though he is expelled from the academy, Harvey Weinstein—convicted rapist and sex offender—still holds a record breaking number of Acedmy Awards, having worked on 81 award-wining films. I simply want to ask the question: why? Why is it that when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock it was all anyone could talk about and we don’t talk about the fact that Harvey Weinstein still holds 81 titles? The fact that the industry was so quick to turn on Will Smith but reluctant to go against Weinstein—even after multiple accusations had been made and many people had tried to come out and press charges.

The double-standard in the industry needs to be acknowledged,

Continued on Page 34

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It's Not Always What it Seems, Up on the Silver Screen­­—The Film Industry's History of Corruption and Abuse Continued from page 33 especially when it comes to holding people accountable for crimes where a power dynamic played a significant role.

Consumption of movies does not need not be forgone though, but should be done while being educated on the people involved.

Movies can be a source of entertainment and happiness, but Hollywood needs to be held accountable for the horrible mistreatment of its actors and actresses. I implore you to do research on who is in movies (and who was a part of the production process) before you go see them, and to consume these films responsibly.

While we can’t change the past, we can make steps towards a future where companies—no matter how big—can be held accountable for their actions.

Songs for the Summer

By ADAM SAAR “3005” by Childish Gambino While “Feels Like Summer” would be the obvious Childish Gambino song to include on this list, “3005” has utterly dominated my driving-with-all-the-windows-down-blasting-music song selection battle recently. An absolute blast of a song, “3005” will get you dancing around and smiling with a summery mood in no time.

“The Louvre” by Lorde “Summer slipped us, underneath her tongue / our days and nights are perfumed with obsession” sings Lorde, at the beginning of the masterpiece that is “The Louvre.” A tale of whirlwind summer romance—set to peak Jack Antonoff production that may cause an out-of-body experience on the first listen, use good headphones—this song just had to be on the list.

“Windows” by Chance The Rapper feat. Akenya and Alex Wiley This jam from Chance’s first mixtape, 10 Day—which he recorded while still in high school, starting during a 10 day suspension for marijuana possession on campus—is a certified summer bop.

Dedicated specifically to throwing open all the windows during summer break, Chance even bemoans teachers that give summer work.

“Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae This song just embodies summer through and through. I mean, does anything feel like summer more than “Three little birds sat on my window, and they told me not to worry / Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet / little girls, double-dutch on the concrete.”? “Put Your Records On” was a staple of my childhood summers, and it’s perfect for a sunset on the porch or by the lake.

“All My Friends” by Dermot Kennedy This song is for all of us Seniors out there—“All My Friends”

“All My Friends” by Dermot Kennedy This song is for all of us Seniors out there—“All My Friends” captures the feeling of what it’s like to wrap up high school, with only this summer left to see your childhood friends before we all head off to different places. The Irish singer croons in the chorus: “To all my friends, You'll find your way / Some summer night, I hope I see you again.”

“Got Me” by Dreamville with Ari Lennox & Omen feat.

Ty Dolla $ign and Dreezy Speaking of “rolling with the windows down,” this song was firmly at the top of my list of songs I absolutely blasted in the car last summer. The hard hitting bass and percussion accompanying Ari Lennox and Ty Dolla $ign trading “I got you as long as you got me”’s makes for a premium summery song-listening experience.

“More” by Lawrence Another one for the Seniors of IHS, “More” is a lively, cheery, brass heavy banger of a song…about being scared of the future and feeling insecure. Mood. Mhm. Yup. Enjoy :) “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals DUN DUN “Sometimes all I think about is you / late nights in the middle of June / heat waves been faking me out / can’t make you happier now.” No further explanation necessary.

“Touch The Sky” by Kanye West feat. Lupe Fiasco “I gotta testify/ come up in the spot lookin’ extra fly / ‘before the day I die, I’ma touch the sky!” Ye raps triumphantly over a cheery horn sample from a 1970 Curtis Mayfield song. “Touch The Sky” is a fun, catchy, and uplifting jam that makes you feel like when the sun is out, anything is possible.

“Tribe” by Bas feat. J. Cole A supremely catchy song by Bas, the protégé, and Cole, the mentor, “Tribe” is another song that somehow just feels like being out and about on a nice summer day.

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An Interview with IHS Senior Emma Loiacono, to Discuss her Upcoming Music Release

By HANNAH SHVETS

M

ost of you have probably heard Emma Loiacono (class of ‘22, she/her) singing at choir concerts, on her Instagram, and in theater productions. What some of you may not know is that Emma also has a passion for songwriting, which she is officially premiering with her upcoming EP “Red Letter”— containing seven of her very own songs. She doesn’t have a definite release date yet, but is aiming to have it on most major platforms sometime in July. Emma collaborated with her WISE mentor and “mastermind songwriter” (in her words) Harry Nichols, a beloved English teacher at Dewitt. I met up with Emma on a hot summer day on the quad, to ask her some questions about this project.

Hannah Shvets (HS): What’s the common theme among the songs in this EP? Is it about friendship, love, personal struggles, summer, or, something else entirely?

Emma Loiacono (EL): I would definitely say that the overarching theme is a culmination of things I've learned growing up, because I'm going to college next year…so there were a lot of different emotions. It's partly me transitioning to that next phase, but also remembering everything I've learned here.

HS: What’s next after this is released? I know you’re going to the University of Rochester in the fall to major in music; how do you plan to incorporate songwriting into your college years and career?

EL: I don't have any definite plans but I definitely want to continue songwriting, keep releasing stuff. I’m hoping to learn more about songwriting at the University of Rochester, and keep pursuing that.

HS: I know this is an extremely basic question, but what got you into songwriting and music as a whole?

EL: That's not basic! Well, I started out when I was pretty young, like elementary school age. I started writing poetry a lot and I would do the “poem in your pocket” thing at the library. I also just always loved to sing; my mom plays piano, so she would be playing piano and I would come over and learn the words to the song she was playing. That's kind of how I started singing.

And then one day, in freshman year, I was kinda like, ‘I like to

write poetry, and I like to sing, so what if I put them together?”

So I just started, and tried, and then just kept going, and here we are!

HS: Anything else you’d like to tell the readers of The Tattler about your music in general or this specific release? I know that's kind of vague, but do you want to talk about some of the songs, or your process with Harry Nichols?

EL: Yeah, so he's [Harry Nichols] my WISE mentor, cause I'm doing this through my WISE class. Mainly, what he's been helping me with is—I'm pretty familiar with writing songs, like I'm no master, I'm definitely learning—but he's been really helping me to know how to get from having a song in your head to actually having it out in the world. There are a lot of steps, that some people don't even think of: it's a process.

HS: What's the title of one of the songs you like the most?

EL: I think my favorite song is probably the opener, it's called “Dear Song,” because the whole thing is sort of formatted as a letter… I don't want to give too much away, but it's, the song is kind of me directly addressing—this was kind of cliche but-— music in general. And kind of how I used that as a means of support.

At this point my curiosity got the best of me and I went off script, asking Emma if she was planning on making any music videos to go along with her songs. She said she would consider it in the future, but probably not for this project. However, as she laughed, she added, “you never know.”

For more information, follow Emma’s music account @emmalyramusic, where she will be making annoncements in the coming weeks.

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The Final Page: Reflecting on Four Years of Shmoop’s Scoop

By ADOWYN ERNSTE

I

honestly can’t remember a time before I was completely, utterly, and irredeemably obsessed with writing and drawing.

Ever since I wrote my very first “book” in second grade— written by me and illustrated by a friend—stories, in whatever medium, have always held a special place in my heart. In third grade, I created a school newspaper for my class, the aptly-titled Number Three News, which featured little stories and drawings, as well as the ever-popular classwide drawing competition.

In fifth grade, I decided to write my first “real” book: Betrayal, whose good vs. evil/quest-for-the-ancient-sword plotline sounds like something snatched from the mind of a ten year old (It was).

Eight years later, the walls of my room are still cluttered with drawings of maps, diagrams and characters from my own madeup worlds.

Fast forward to the fall of my freshman year at IHS: having

been inspired by a copy of the Literary Issue from the previous year, I decided to join The Tattler, which I considered a definite upgrade from Number Three News. And thus, the path had been laid: I would follow The Tattler’s mission to represent the voices of the IHS community. I would strengthen my writing, practice investigative journalism, and maybe submit a few poems and stories on the side, if I ever mustered up the courage.

My ship quickly changed its course—for the better, I hope— with a spontaneous idea: “Could I try making a comic?” I asked one autumn day. The Arts Editor shrugged. “Why not?”

At the time, my logic was fairly simple: I was more or less competent at drawing (that’s good enough, right?), I loved Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side, and really, how hard could it be?

What I would soon discover is that creating a comic is a rather Continued on Page 38

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The Final Page: Reflecting on Four Years of Shmoop's Scoop Continued from page 37

difficult, often tedious, and altogether time-consuming process—but just as aggravating as it may sometimes be, it is equally satisfying. There is no greater feeling than uploading the finished panels of the layout, watching the story slot into place.

Unlike homework and other school assignments, there was never anyone to remind me of what needed to get done and when. No one ever said I should continue or that I should have even started at all. The fact that this project was entirely self-motivated is what made it so rewarding. Every month, between the ongoing barrage of tests and assignments, I would somehow find the thirty to a hundred or so hours to hunch over the ancient monitor in my basement and create this little comic of mine. And although I usually didn’t have the time, I would still always give Shmoop the attention to detail and careful reflection that it needed to be its best and to gradually improve from month to month.

Of course, I always said that I would finish a month early instead of ten minutes before the deadline to avoid those awful 8-hour Saturdays spent shading comic panels. And yet, even as I’m writing this, I’m still cramming to finish everything three days after the due date. (Some things, it seems, never change.)

But while my foresight may not have evolved as much as I would have liked, I can confidently say that the comic itself has come a long way. When I sat down to create my very first Shmoop in the beginning of freshman year, I had no layout or drawing software and no plan—just a sharpie, a scanner, and a few sheets of printer paper. I planned the entire comic in a single day, scribbling down character designs in the margins of my Global I notebook, and finally deciding on a title idea at the bus stop the next morning. Since those early days, Shmoop has lived through a variety of designs and software programs, only to arrive in its final stage of metamorphosis in the last quarter of my senior year. It took a great deal of trial and error to eventually find a process that works for me, though I still have a long way to go in terms of efficiency, and notably, my ability to draw hands and cafeteria chairs. But looking back at how far I have already come, knowing what still needs to be done isn’t discouraging— it’s uplifting, a reminder that I can and already have succeeded.

Looking out at the view at the very end of my high school comic-making journey, what I realized is that what I’ve been climbing isn’t a mountain—it’s just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much still to learn, and I’ve only just caught a glimpse.

Through the process of teaching myself to make a comic, the greatest lesson that I have learned is an immense appreciation for the masters, who—after decades of practice—are able to effortlessly draw their characters at any angle, any pose, anywhere.

Most of all, what I have come to respect is the sheer number of hours that go into every page of a comic book: planning the story, designing the layout, sketching the characters, and then the incredible amount of detail that goes into each and every drawing. It’s easy to read a comic book in a few short hours, flipping through the pages and vaguely skimming the drawings along the way. While I am certainly guilty of this too, creating my own comic has given me greater appreciation for the number of hand cramps and broken pencil leads that are needed to create a single comic book. It has given me the insight to slow down, to admire all the work that went into the drawings, and to experience the story in greater depth.

In many ways, I see Seymour Shmoop as an exaggerated version of myself: from his awkward, introverted nerdiness to his resilience and friendships, and even to his flair for the dramatic.

Although the plotlines have become progressively more zany over the years (I blame it on the pandemic), my original intent was always to capture the everyday high school experience, facing constant challenges and discouragement, but always rising to meet them. After surviving the deadly perils of gym class, succeeding (and failing) as a punk trombonist, regaining lost friendships and making new ones, and even participating in the Battle of Wits—twice!—I think it’s safe to say that Seymour has seen almost everything by now. Much like finishing a good book, it will be hard to let go—but four years have gone by faster than I can scarcely believe, and the final page has been turned.

When I came to my first Writers’ Meeting in the fall of freshman year, I was never expecting (or even intending) to be a cartoonist. Even so, creating Shmoop is an experience that I will not easily forget years or even decades from now when I look back on high school. Because whether it’s a comic, or a book, or a tale of any form, a story is never quite over, even after the ending. The joy of reading and writing is that once you take a story into your life, it lingers, an indelible impression to carry with you wherever your own story leads. And the more stories you let into your life, the fuller and more vibrant each one becomes. Today, Seymour joins the archives of adventurers that came before him—the heroes and villains who adorn the walls of my room—making way for all the stories yet to unfold.

Sport or Not: Chess

By CAEDMON SETHUPATHY

S

o much of modern American culture revolves around sports. We glue our eyes to the TV screen to watch the Super Bowl and glorify our favorite teams. However, certain activities are considered sports by some and not by others. A common example of this is chess. Many athletes would scoff at the idea that chess could be a sport. However, it has been formally recognized as such by the International Olympic Committee.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Chess does not meet all of the generally accepted criteria for acknowledgement of sporthood.

Additionally, despite being recognized by the committee, chess is not classified as an Olympic sport, meaning it cannot be played at the Olympics.

Dictionary.com defines a “sport” as “an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.” Most other online definitions are very similar. Unfortunately for chess fans, moving pieces across a board hardly seems to be an athletic activity. However, Bobby Fischer (a chess great) once said that it's important to stay in shape as a chess player, because if you don’t, your concentration will lapse

SPORTS OPINION EDITORIAL

over the course of a match. Among chess masters, matches can last hours, and a great deal of focus and mental acuity is required for this.

As shown in the aforementioned definition, physical prowess is not the only criteria for sporthood. Skill and competitive nature are also very important. It is undeniable that chess possesses these qualities, thus allowing it to fulfill at least a few of the required criteria. A great amount of spatial analytical reasoning is required to play the game, as well as competitive spirit and drive.

Also, the Dictionary.com definition classifies fishing as a sport. The athletic requirements for a sport like fishing are far lower than that of many others, such as basketball or football.

Thus, if fishing can still be considered a sport, there must be an entire spectrum of sports and their relative physical difficulties.

Even if one were to claim that chess is not physically taxing (and disagree with Bobby Fischer), the game could still lie at the low end of this spectrum. The fact is, since words are ambiguous by nature, there is no way of knowing at what point an activity is too lacking in physical activity to be considered a sport.

It is clear that there is immense difficulty finding a perfect solution to the question of whether or not chess is a sport, and it’s impossible to prove any one answer wrong. However, when all of the evidence is taken into consideration, I find declaring chess to be a sport the most logical argument. This decision is backed by the International Olympic Committee and uses Bobby Fischer’s own personal experience as evidence for validity. All in all, there is no way of knowing for sure, but the competitive, difficult, and grueling nature of chess lands it a spot on the master list of sports in my book.

A Kid in His Arms by Raia Gutman

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The Stanley Cup Playoffs: A Guide for the Uninterested Viewer

By LILY NEWTON

I

t’s officially that wonderful time of the year. The air is warm, the flowers are blooming, and most importantly, for a few select weeks, I get to operate under the utter delusion that my favorite team has a shot at the title. This magical period I’ve alluded to is the Stanley Cup playoffs. You might’ve heard of it, and if not, I’m sure any member of the IHS hockey team would be more than happy to educate you. Or you could read on as I attempt to explain the 2022 playoffs—your choice.

The Stanley Cup is a time-honored tradition dating all the way back to 1918 (when you didn’t have to sell your car to afford tickets). It is one of the most exciting and anticipated events of the year, with game five of the finals having 3.6 million viewers in 2021. For those who don’t follow hockey, the Stanley Cup is the Super Bowl of hockey. For those of you who don’t follow football, it’s the Coachella of hockey. If you haven’t heard of Coachella, then I’m truly jealous. The playoffs mark the end of the National Hockey League (NHL) season, and the better you do, the more games you play. They culminate in the Stanley Cup, where the two best teams face off for the championship. If you win, then you get the shiny trophy that basically operates as a glorified alcohol vessel (Yes, they drink out of it. Yes, it’s disgusting). The highlight of the games is usually the testosterone fueled fighting, especially when someone’s sweater gets pulled over their head.

In short, the Stanley Cup playoffs are a series of games designed to thrill and exhilarate both viewers and players alike. They decide which team is the greatest, and who is qualified to hoist the trophy.

As I write this in early May, only a few teams have been eliminated. So far the Boston Bruins, the Washington Capitals, the LA Kings, the Maple Leafs (you can guess where that team is from), the Nashville Predators, and the Minnesota Wild are out of post-season play. The Colorado Avalanche are favored to win the playoffs after 59 season wins and only 19 losses. Other favorites for the series includes the Florida Panthers and the Calgary Flames. The Tampa Bay Lightning have won the last two Stanley Cups, and even though I’m a Capitals fan (sadly), Tampa Continued on Page 40

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The Stanley Cup Playoffs—A Guide for the Uninterested Viewer Continued from page 39 Stanley Cups, and even though I’m a Capitals fan (sadly), Tampa possesses possibly one the greatest hockey goalies to ever play the sport—Andre Vasilevskiy. One crucial thing about hockey is that if the goalie isn’t good, the team isn’t good (an example; the Capitals). While the best teams of the year are working their way through the playoff bracket, many notable players of the 2022 year have already concluded their season. This list includes Connor McDavid (Oilers), Alex Ovechkin (Capitals), Cale Makar

(Avalanche), and Auston Matthews (Maple Leafs) to name a few.

While every component of the series can be boiled down to numbers and statistics, the Stanley Cup is more than that. It’s exciting, it’s exhilarating, it’s entertaining. There’s something special and maybe a bit terrifying about the loyalty fans have to their teams. There’s no passion like hockey passion, and every year from May to June that passion is exemplified by every player playing, and every viewer watching.

Processed: Expectations, Disappointment, and the Philadelphia 76ers

By WILL THOMAS

A

s I’m writing this, I’m obsessively checking the ESPN app to see the score of the Miami Heat-Philadelphia 76ers game. If you haven’t guessed who I’m rooting for, read the big letters at the top of this article and take a stab at it. The Sixers are currently down 3-2, facing elimination and yet another failure to make it past the second round of the playoffs. For Sixers fans like me, another loss would bring questions and regret.

The question looms large in every fan’s mind, what has “The Process” actually brought? (Update: they lost) When Sam Hinkie took over as the Sixers’ General Manager, he brought a radical new idea: being bad at basketball. The Philadelphia 76ers would sign mediocre and poor players, regularly drop games, finish with the fewest wins in the league, and get a high draft pick. This would give them the ability to test out many young players. Titling his strategy “The Process”, Hinkie assembled a thoroughly poor team. His aggressive trade style landed the Sixers massive amounts of draft capital and future trade ammo, despite depleting the current talent from the team.

Naturally, many fans didn’t love the notion. Winning basketball is much more watchable and enjoyable than the putrid 10-72 schedule sported by the Sixers in 2016. Interestingly, it was in this era that I began to grow into my fandom. While it doesn’t seem right, the tanking undergone by the Sixers led to a genuine glimmer of hope for many fans, even ones who hadn’t known anything but awful basketball before that.

As it turned out, the purposeful failure had done us some good in the form of a 7’2’’ Cameroonian prodigy. Joel Embiid, having played only a single college season, fell to the Sixers at the third pick in the 2014 draft. A raw prospect, Embiid would come to mount multiple MVP runs over the next few seasons, becoming one of the most dominant big men since the likes of Shaquille O’Neal. Embiid, however, was frequently injured and out of shape in the early years of his career, making the Sixers’ run of impressive failures possible for another few years. The years of losing continued, with the number one picks in 2016,

2017, and another high pick in 2018. The 2016 pick landed them Ben Simmons, a 6’10’’ point guard with incredible passing and a unique skill set. The Sixers seemed to have built a core that would put them into contention for a title. “The Process” had given the team a shot to contend, an opportunity to deliver on the promise that any acceptance of all of the losing the team had done was based on.

In 2018-19, with the previous season resulting in a second-round loss, the Sixers traded for Jimmy Butler and Tobias Harris, pushing their chips in and attempting to capitalize on their talent. The team, however, was given little time to build chemistry and lost to the eventual champion Toronto Raptors.

Nobody could know if the Sixers would have done the same had they won that series, but the attempts to contend and break out of mediocrity certainly put them in a better position to do so than would have otherwise been possible. The following Summer, Butler was traded to the Heat for Josh Richardson (who would fail to meet expectations). The team spent considerably in free agency, bringing in Tobias Harris and Al Horford on significant contracts. Even though COVID disrupted the season, the team was able to qualify for the playoffs, but failed to make it past even the first round. The next year, despite Embiid stepping up a level and the addition of Doc Rivers as coach, the Sixers threw away a winnable series to the Atlanta Hawks. In a series characterized by disappointment, nothing exemplified the struggles of the team more than the failures of Ben Simmons who, continuing a career-long trend, refused to shoot from long range throughout the series. The level of vitriol from fans and disapproval from coaches and fellow players set the stage for significant controversy for Simmons, who would sit out the entirety of the next season (the 2021-22 season). Again, another failure, but also another chance that “the Process” created for contention and relevance.

This year, the Sixers gambled again to attempt to win a title.

At the trade deadline, they moved Simmons, along with vital

SPORTS / LITERARY

bench players Seth Curry and Andre Drummond, to the Brooklyn Nets for aging superstar James Harden. Naturally, this raised expectations yet again for the Sixers, with fans believing this was a chance to capitalize on a wide-open title race. But here we are, having lost this second-round series to the Heat. Injuries may have been the death of the team, the decline of Harden as a scoring option, the loss of key bench players, all contributed to the failure. But with so many times falling short, was all the gambling worth it? Was it worth it to risk everything time and again

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for what seems to be so little? The answer is yes, it was worth it. The misses were misses, the mistakes were mistakes, but the underlying principle is one that the team and any team should try to ascribe to. If you were to ask whether I want my favorite team to go for it, to do what it takes to be competitive and win, the answer is always yes. “The Process” hasn’t generated a title, it hasn’t gotten to the conference finals, but it has made being a Philadelphia 76ers fan more exciting and worthwhile than timidness and mediocrity would’ve in a hundred years.

Letters Never Sent

By Tania Hao Dear Alice,

Dear Alice,

Do you remember how we met? I was surprised when I realized I still do. We were at the school board building at the same time, signing up for tests to see if we had to take ELA programs.

Your mom and my mom started talking. The school had set out crafts for the kids, and there were two crumpled coloring sheets lying on a sticky wooden desk: one with penguins and another with monkeys. You asked me which one I wanted, and I replied that I didn’t care. You, blunt as always, told me to pick one, so I picked the penguins, and you took the monkeys. You rambled on and on as we colored—I remember carefully filling my snowflakes with crayon while you talked about whatever eight-yearolds talk about. You were always so happy. I think that was part of why I was drawn to you. Do you think we would still be friends if you’d stayed? Or would we have drifted apart as I have with so many others?

I think you were the first friend I had with whom I could do anything and still be content. I look back on the long car rides, the skating classes, the picnics and lamb skewers at the park, and I remember never feeling bored with you. We never talked about our worries or our dreams when we were together. We just played pretend and you sometimes told me about your classmates. Was that normal? Was that why we haven’t talked in so long: because we were never really close to begin with?

Remember when that one book series, The School for Good and Evil, became our thing? I don’t know who started it—who told the other, “Hey, you should read this book”—but we ended up reading every book together. Even after you left and the series kept going, I read each one that came after and thought about texting you every time. I never did.

The night you left was the worst I’d felt in my entire 10-yearold existence. I pride myself on my ability to find pretty words to assign to anything, but I don’t know how else to describe this. If I ever told you this, you’d think I was embellishing, but it really was the greatest loss I’d experienced. It was completely dark when I finally said goodbye to you, our families parting in front of your apartment building. When your family left, I think my parents lost their friends, too.

I hiccupped and sobbed the entire drive home, knowing that by the next day, there would be a two thousand-dollar ticket and a thirteen-hour plane ride separating us.

Dear Alice, I’m trying to remember everything we did together and I’m realizing that I’m beginning to forget. It’s terrifying how easily your memory of someone can drift away, no matter how hard you reach for it later or how long you spent together with them.

I can’t even remember, now, what year your baby sister was born. The only thing I can say for certain is that there was at least a month somewhere in there when we didn’t see each other because of her. How disconcerting is that—that time spent so happily together is so quickly erased?

All I can do, then, is take what I do remember and hold onto it so tightly it won’t disappear, no matter how much it wants to. So here it is. I remember how we used to go shopping together: our moms, my sister, you and I. I remember playing in gorges under the shimmering summer sun until our ankles were caked with briny mud. I remember snow days in my backyard, taking turns on your small round sled with the wolf on it because my flimsy plastic ones couldn’t go nearly as fast. Seven years later and I still can clearly recall how much glittering wonder and joy I felt. I hope you can, too.

Dear Alice, Isn’t it funny how time passes? It feels like we were eating caramel-swirled ice cream on my back porch just last week, yet so much has happened since. We were friends for only three years, such an insignificant amount of time. We’re completely different people than we were when we knew each other. It’s like we were wearing jackets that fit us then and when we outgrew them after you left, we got new ones separately. If I visited you now, would we know what to talk about? Would we fall into that same easy rhythm of so many years ago? Or would it be better to leave our memories happily in the past, in case trying to reconcile would be too difficult?

Continued on Page 42

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LITERARY

Letters Never Sent Continued from page 41 But that’s all done now. It’s been so long, I seldom think about you anymore—even though I do want to—and I’m sure you don’t think about me much either. I promised you after that video call five months ago that I would read the latest School for Good and Evil book, but I never did.

I’m so grateful for everything you brought me, even if some of the memories have become no more than stories lived by a different person. I hope I never forget that feeling of warm solidarity. I wish we could find that again.

Pasture-Raised

By Louisa Miller-Out The light of spring painted Rachel’s shoulders golden as she strolled through the fields. All of a sudden, she broke into a run.

The dot that had entered her view kept getting bigger and bigger until she could see Oliver running, then his curls, a brown so deep it was almost black, then his dimples, and finally every freckle on the bridge of his nose. It was the softest collision of the century when she fell into his arms. It didn’t sink in until they came apart that Rachel had been running to and Oliver had been running from.

They held each other at arm’s length. Oliver was the type of person who couldn’t stop himself from smiling. But today, there was a hollowness to his eyes, a tensed muscle in his cheek. Today he looked like he’d swallowed a stone the size of a goose’s egg.

“Ollie, what’s wrong? Did something happen at your assessment?”

“I can’t talk about it right now, I don’t want to ruin your day.

It’s the first day of summer, for fuck’s sake. You deserve to enjoy it. I know telling you not to worry about me is pointless, but really, I just need to be distracted today. To forget, even just for a little bit.”

“Okay, whatever you need.”

It wedged in Rachel’s mind like a seed caught between her teeth. Even as they swam in the cool, clear pond and harvested the bountiful wild raspberries that grew along its banks, even as the wild birds flew overhead and the sky seemed bluer every minute. But by the end of the day, when it was time to pick up their food and give thanks for their peaceful, endlessly blissful existence, Rachel had almost pushed the tiny seed of unease out of her mind.

Almost.

It was only when they were lying beside each other under the shelter of their favorite willow tree that Rachel remembered something was wrong. She rolled over on her side and studied the face of the person she loved most in the entire world, and she felt like someone had wrapped her heart in both hands and was squeezing it tighter and tighter. There was an unmistakable sadness contorting his eyebrows, his lips, his jaw.

“Ollie, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but maybe talking about it will help get it off your chest. I know you’re just trying to protect me, but it’s best if we deal with this together, whatever it is.”

Ollie sighed heavily and dragged himself to a sitting position like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Rachel followed suit. The moon peered through a gap in the clouds and briefly illuminated his features, and she almost gasped. Ollie looked even more haggard than before. He swallowed, then lifted

his worried brown eyes to hers. When he spoke, his voice was ragged with sorrow.

“That was our last day together. They said I’m in prime condition.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t get it. Prime condition for what?”

“They said I’ve reached slaughter weight.”

Tiger-Ception by Grace Lim

LITERARY

43

Recalling Equations: TI-84 Plus CE

By Natalie Patrone I am rarely wrong. Sometimes I get a confusing set of information, but in that case, I just display a syntax error message.

I guess that means even then, my failures aren’t my fault. It’s the directions that you give me that are wrong. I’ve known the answer to every question I was given since my creation. And I really don’t mean to brag. It’s just that numbers, equations, and rationality have always come easily to me. It’s what I was created for, after all.

The other day, I encountered a question that I could not answer. It shook me to my batteries and I still haven’t recovered.

A tired student looked into my screen, seeking the answer they wanted. But, I couldn’t give it to them. If they had just paid a little more attentio, they would’ve noticed that I was on radian mode instead of degrees. I couldn’t change myself for them, though. I’m programmed only to follow what people tell me to do, even if what they say they need isn’t what they actually need.

But I digress.

The kid was furiously trying to find the sine of 63, which I wasn’t happy about. Considering the fact that I was in the entirely wrong mode, they wouldn’t have gotten the right answer

anyway, but the thing that was currently preventing them from finding the solution was the sticky button for the number six. It hadn’t been working perfectly for a while now and the button often got stuck. The student tried pressing the number six button repeatedly to no avail. To be honest, it rather hurt. Having someone repeatedly poke a sore area wasn’t the best feeling one could experience, but I had no voice to complain with. After exactly seven tries, the student shoved me down onto the desk in frustration.

“Ugh. This is so stupid!” they shouted. I couldn’t disagree. The student dragged their fingers through their hair and sighed. They pulled out their phone, presumably to open their digital calculator.

“What good are you, anyway?” the student asked, glancing over at me. I thought about their question for some time while they completed their math homework. In the end, I could graph no equations, I could provide no constants, and I could not solve for any variables to find the answer. The rectangular cursor on my screen blinked on and off as I tried to fill the silence, overwhelmed by my thoughts.

Synagogue in the Mellah by Raia Gutman

Code Red at Streets Alive by Ruby Zawel

LITERARY

44

We All Fall Down

By Louisa Miller-Out A rush of lilac floods my brain As I stroll past the garden gate A scent to numb our mortal pain The endless flowers lie in wait As I stroll past the garden gate Intoxicating summer air The endless flowers lie in wait Have I found Rappaccini’s lair?

Intoxicating summer air These children born of dirt and light Have I found Rappaccini’s lair?

Poison perfume, so sweet and bright These children born of dirt and light I’m dizzy now, I’m turning back Poison perfume, so sweet and bright Now everything is going black I’m dizzy now, I’m turning back A scent to numb our mortal pain Now everything is going black A rush of lilac floods my brain

Mac ‘n Cheese Bowl (2) by Marley Thomson

Mac ‘n Cheese Bowl (1) by Marley Thomson

Mac ‘n Cheese Bowl (3) by Marley Thomson

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space for a full page ad about advertising in the tattler next year? picture space?

45

BACKPAGE

46

Untitled, Ella Howe

June Sudoku

Scan QR code for answers!

Hate Factory, Taran Knutson

Making Friends for Dummies

By Natalie Patrone

One of the most difficult things about high school is the social aspect of it. Navigating friendships is one of the hardest things that high school has to offer, and a lot of us (including myself) are a bit out of practice when it comes to making new friends. If you want to get the courage to talk to that one nice, shy person in your study hall, or maybe get to know that one really funny and dauntingly extroverted person you sit behind in math class, or you just want to expand your social circle, this guide is for you.

Firstly, it’s important to smile. If you’ve forgotten how to smile, do not fear. It is really that simple. The only thing you have to worry about is the angle that you are folding your mouth into. Try for a parabola like y=0.035x^2.

This will give a nice rounded smile. If you go any further, you might scare your potential friends away. Observe the difference between y=0.035x^2 and y=0.3x^2 : Secondly, start of f the c onvers ation wit h s om e icebreaker qu es tions . Th is is a g ood way t o ge t your potential f riend to open up to you. S t a rt b y asking someth ing si mple , l ik e what th ey t hin k ab ou t the stab il ity (or the lack the reof ) of t h e socio-economic state of the coun tr y curr e n t ly i n comparison to ou r geog raph ical neig hbo rs .

Rememb er to s pic e things up a b it. Ask in g someone if they’re a c at or a dog p erso n o r asking about th eir favorite color is so las t y e a r.

Lastly, remember to be yourself! If they don’t like you for who you are, would you want to be friends with them anyway? (The answer should be no.) Putting your best foot forward and trying your best is all that really matters. If your “best foot forward” is a smile that should be anatomically impossible or talking about the weather, then do that! The point is that most likely, they’ll recognize your courage in approaching them and want to be friends with you too. Who knows what will happen until you try.

Until next time,

Natalie Patrone

BACKPAGE

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Jellies 1, Anonymous

Jellies 2, Anonymous

Snork Family Tree Original characters by Claire Park and Caedmon Sethupathy, featuring art by Zia Hirsch

Today we introduce snorks, a species discovered right here at IHS. This new species has flummoxed scientists all around the globe. As of now, they are in residence in room H207. Several have agreed to an interview with some IHS students. The following are our findings, from both scientific evaluation and the results of their interviews.

Believe it or not, all these snorks are all i n t h e s a m e f a m i l y ! B u t e ac h S n o r k i s s o different from one another that you would never guess. Stay tuned next school year for an in-depth biography of each Snork we encounter!

Contribute to The Tattler!

Contact editor@ihstattler.com for more information.

EDITORIAL

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The Coolness Spectrum Cool :)

Summer Predictions

The New Tattler Board

By Ruby Zawel and Natalie Patrone

Graduating Seniors

Cancer (June 21 - Jul 22): After watching the trailer on a rainy day, you’ll get hooked on a cheesy TV show and watch all 17 seasons before you finally fall asleep. When you wake up 72 hours later, you’ll decide to watch it again.

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22): You’ll want to play video games, but your family will force you to “go outside and enjoy this beautiful weather," so you’ll just take your phone and play Crossy Road while swinging in a hammock.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22): You’re excited to go on your family trip, but you’ll be less excited after your flight is delayed by five hours and you sit next to a toddler with a runny nose and a hot temper on the plane.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Your next two months will be spent competing against the farmstand across the street to see who can sell the most cucumbers.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): You don’t even want to know.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): Every day of your vacation will be spent lifeguarding with Ms. Maddren.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): During a hike in the Adirondacks, you’ll lose your footing on the edge of a cliff. You’ll fall a couple of centimeters, and then land on a rock outcrop. Phew!

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You should really invest in some sunscreen.

You’re going to need it.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20): You’ll actually have a pretty amazing summer. It’ll be everything you’re hoping for.

Good for you.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19): Your summer will go exactly how you imagined it would. Sorry about that.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20): You’ll spend the entire summer helping your family weed the neglected garden in your backyard.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): The highlight of your summer will be receiving a letter in the mail sent to you by a distant relative.

Mavs in 9 Lab Benches Spike Ball at Lunch 83 ° Chedder Flavored Onions Hydrilla Final Exams Seniors Graduating

Uncool :( Astrology

Cover photo by Joshua Reddekopp on Unsplash