March 2013

March 7, 2013 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 121 • No.6• Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com • Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca, NY, 14850 • FREE

“Traveling Is Like Doing Geometry On a NonEuclidean Surface”, Says Steve Weissburg

By ARYEH ZAX

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

Moroccan Tales and A Preview of His Journey to South Africa Revealed

Red stucco villages and green trees color the Moroccan landscape.

IHS math teacher Steve Weissburg is on the move once again, set to visit South Africa this April. His travels have ranged many countries on multiple continents and have greatly affected his life as both a teacher and person.

Aryeh Zax ’14: How does international travel affect your teaching? Your outlook?

Steve Weissburg: I have always enjoyed travel. To me traveling to another country gives you a new perspective on your own culture. You learn new things and challenge old assumptions. Not to be a total geek, but it’s like doing geometry on a non-euclidean

surface. The definitions twist, the rules bend, and suddenly you are free to think about things in a different way. We do not realize the myriad ways in which our culture dictates our actions and perceptions. Even very simply things like how we eat, or which side of the hallway we walk on — we never question these things and yet they are like walls continued on p. 9

March 7, 2013

Editorial:

Mean Girls: IHS Safety Problems Finally, it’s the end of the day. Hundreds of students proceed to the buses, excited to be finished once again. The grey, cloudy sky looms overhead, bringing contrast to an unseasonably warm day. Everything is normal, and people are discussing the day’s pedestrian events when...

A crowd has gathered. Easily a hundred students have formed a perfect arc to encircle two students, watching a spectacle from a distance that maximizes both safety and enjoyment. From afar, it seems that the drama club has arranged something, or maybe a flash mob has gathered to impress YouTube. Whatever it is, it must be amazing.

Two girls are fighting. Perhaps releasing built-up stress, dealing with a relationship issue, or something of the like. They are shouting at each other, each adamantly arguing her own case, not afraid to use offensive vocabulary or the occasional shove. Things seem to escalate, but the two are separated, and the action has finished. Immediately, the crowd also disperses, slightly disappointed that their entertainment has been terminated.

Fortunately for the audience, the separation does not last very long. Two minutes later, the girls are back at it, shouting at each other like characters in a daytime soap opera. Instantly, the crowd regathers, forming its perfect arc, only slightly further away. Tensions are building, and an IHS employee walks through the circle, seemingly mystified, but does not stop. Never mind that - the event has climaxed. One girl quickly waves her hand, and the other girl’s face follows. The slap resonates loudly and clearly, but perhaps not as impressively as the chorus of “Ohhh!” that the crowd sounds. Finally, after everyone has gotten their money’s worth, someone steps in and ends the fight.

These events took place at 3:40 PM on January 30, 2013, between the gym and Activities building. A school, at its core, is a place where safe education is provided. So what excuse can be given for this? The large crowd, focused on one point, obviously signalled something was happening. Two staff members are staThe Tattler is the student-run tioned every day in the bus area to help fanewspaper of Ithaca High School.

The Tattler was founded in 1892, cilitate the end-of-school routine. An adult and is published monthly. even walked through the circle, passing right by the girls and through hundreds of As an open forum, The eyes. Was he going for help? Or didn’t even Tattler invites submissions of notice the situation? Of course, high school opinion pieces and letters to students always will bicker and fight, but it the editor from all members is blatantly unacceptable to allow a specof the community. Drop off tacle of this scale to continue. submissions in H134, e-mail them to editor@ihstattler.com.

Adults should have ended this. According to IHS school policy, every emLetters can be mailed to ployee has an obligation to take action on continued on p. 3

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3 SCHOOL SAFETY

March 7, 2013 continued from p. 2

behalf of students’ safety. As soon as a crowd visibly gathered around the girls, they should have inspected the situation, pulled the girls apart, and then placated them. Whereas students are intimidated by the large scale and public exposure, worried about getting in trouble for getting involved, or simply stupefied by the encounter, adults can use their administrative power to overcome opposition. All it would take is a few strong, caring adults to break the fight and disperse the crowd. A quick, “Hey, what’s that? We should probably check it out,” could have changed everything. Even one adult could have had moderate success in stalling until others could help.

Although one may claim that recent changes in the school’s security system are responsible for this security lapse, this idea is misleading. The two adults located in the area for safety purposes should have recognized the spectacle. As mentioned before, all it takes is one adult to act, get help, and rectify the situation. If we cannot count on our local system

to identify and terminate such an obvious fight, how can we consider alternatives? In this case, our security failed to act when danger was apparent, which is unacceptable.

IHS must establish an effective, consistent mechanism for dealing with fights and confrontations. If it is truly IHS policy that all staff are responsible for student safety, then expectations should be made clear. Not only the APs and teachers’ aides, but also teachers, cafeteria workers, and bus drivers must understand their responsibilities, abilities, and obligations in protecting student safety. In this case, as soon as the massive crowd gathered, the stationed adults should have recognized the situation, stepped in between the girls, and told everyone else to get on their buses. All staff must be prepared to take action to stop all fights, especially a confrontation as public as this one. As these skills cannot be assumed to be innate, training sessions and staff-wide discussions must ensure that everyone has these skills. Only then can we consider our security system effective.

Opinion:

First World Problems: Forever 21 PHOTO/\PROVIDED The popular, low-priced retailer Forever 21 has plans to open a store in Ithaca.

By Rena Brand

In recent years there has been speculation that the Shops at Ithaca Mall (formerly known as the Pyramid Mall) will be getting a Forever 21. For those who don’t know, Forever 21 is a clothing store primarily marketed to teenagers. Their fair prices and variety of clothing styles make it a favorite for teenage girls. The speculation has been met with varied reactions - some think it will be wonderful, due to the fact that we would be able to shop at the store without having to go all the way to Syracuse. Others, who share the same opinion as me, think this is a horrible idea. First of all, going to Destiny USA (formerly known as the Carousel Mall) is an experience. It

involves actual planning and it’s wonderful to make a normal Saturday into a fun day with friends. I don’t think I would ever go to Destiny USA if there were a Forever 21 in Ithaca and I would surely miss the trips.

In addition, having a Forever 21 in such close proximity would undoubtedly greatly increase the chances of having the same clothing as another IHS student. Because Forever 21 is in Syracuse, people don’t usually go on the same weekends, and the store’s fast inventory turnover ensures that people don’t end up buying the same clothes. But if the store were in Ithaca, with each clothing item you buy the chances of ending up in a “Who Wore it Better?” battle increases.

The final reason that an Ithaca Forever 21 is a terrible idea is more of a problem for people like me who can’t save money even if their life depended on it. Since we live in Ithaca, there really isn’t anywhere for me to spend my money, so there is a chance that I will only be broke some of the time. If there were a Forever 21 here, I would be broke all of the time. I don’t really have a desire to be broke all of the time, so a Forever 21 would not be beneficial to my well being.

And, of course, a big-box store like Forever 21 would be terrible for the local economy. Right now, for cool clothing in Ithaca, people usually turn to local shops such as Evolution and Avanti. If there were a Forever 21, people might stop shopping at local stores, thus sending them out of business, and violating the Ithacan belief in supporting locally-owned stores.

Overall, an Ithaca Forever 21 is a bad idea, because we would miss out on trips to Destiny USA, we would all be dressed identically, I would be perpetually broke, and the local clothing stores could suffer. So next time you are asked if a Forever 21 in Ithaca is a good idea, just say no!

March 7, 2013

If You Want Truth, Don’t Read Fiction

By ARYEH ZAX

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, tells the story of a group of British schoolboys stranded on a desert island who descend into savagery without society’s usual framework to govern them. Earth Abides, by George R. Stewart, explores, among other things, how humanity rebuilds after a deadly virus wipes out most of the Earth’s population. Both are literary classics and each explores human nature without society’s influence.

There’s one more thing they have in common: neither of them is a true account of something that actually happened or will happen. But if you talked to an English teacher, you might not know that.

What is behind so many people’s fixation on interpreting and analyzing works of fiction, hoping to gain helpful knowledge from them? I took the English Regents in January, and the part of the exam that most fills me with revulsion is the “Critical Lens” portion. Students are given a quote (generally about aspects of the human condition) and asked to agree or disagree, as well as supply two works of literature supporting their position.

Why should works of literature have anything to do with real-life situations?

What would happen if a plane full of schoolchildren crashed on an island? What would happen if a virus actually wiped out most of the human population? Fiction doesn’t have the answers, and any lesson fiction purports to teach is suspect, since something doesn’t have to be true to be the moral of a story. After all, I could write a book with any crazy “moral” that I want, but that doesn’t mean it’s at all reflective of reality, just as the fact that Aldous Huxley wrote Brave New World or that George Orwell wrote 1984 does not mean that future societies are headed for dystopia. Fiction is written first to sell books, and then (sometimes) as an attempt to reflect the real world. I can’t say it much

better than John Cramer, science fiction author and physicist: “There are basic incompatibilities between good story telling and accurate prophecy. A good story needs conflict and dramatic tension. … the track record of SF [science fiction] writers as prophets, operating within these constraints, has not been impressive … there has not been a global nuclear war, despite the vast popularity of the post-holocaust setting in SF. No SF stories, to my knowledge, have

Not history.

accurately predicted AIDS … or the meltdown of the iron curtain, or junk bonds and leveraged buyouts, or Dan Quayle, or most of the other things that have shaped our recent history.”

These problems are not unique to science fiction, of course – as Cramer noted of sci-fi, all fiction is immediately judged by how good a story it tells, and only after that by how true it is to reality. If fiction ever does happen to predict the future, it’s really just a lucky guess. Further, fiction works by a strange sort of logic where important things cannot happen for unimportant reasons – the main character is not randomly run over by a car in

the first ten pages; the villain does not choke to death on his dinner. Those wouldn’t make good stories, after all.

However, real life is under no requirement to sound like a good story, and so any attempt to use storybook reasoning on it is fundamentally misguided.

This year I was asked to write an essay about the potential dangers of the jury system based on Twelve Angry Men, a short play about a jury’s decision deliberations during a murder trial. I completely respect the question “Is a jury of one’s peers a good way to decide someone’s guilt?”, but the question of “What can Twelve Angry Men tell us about juries?” goes much too far. There’s no good reason to expect Twelve Angry Men, with its symbols and conflict and themes and character development, to forecast reality, and so Twelve Angry Men should not even enter into a discussion about juries. As it happens, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor criticized the play, noting that the jury’s decisions are largely speculative and some of its actions illegal, saying that it would have in all likelihood yielded a mistrial. One of my favorite sayings is “The plural of anecdote is not data”, and using Twelve Angry Men as evidence is even worse – it’s exactly one “anecdote”, except it didn’t happen and would have been wildly illegal if it had! The sort of non-skepticism and one-dimensional thinking that is often applied when analyzing literature is absolutely unacceptable.

Too often I have heard an English teacher say something along the lines of “Life imitates art and art imitates life.” But if you want to find out what the year 1984 was like, you do not read George Orwell’s book. You read a history book, or watch a video about the time period, or go to Wikipedia. However much art imitates life, life imitates life better. Trying to use fiction to draw absolute conclusions about reality is like trying to guess the answers on a test without looking at the questions – why put on the extra continued on p. 5

March 7, 2013

IF YOU WANT TRUTH, DON’T READ FICTION

handicap? It’s hard enough already.

Some people I’ve talked to have said that the Critical Lens and essays like it are simply a vehicle to test how well students can write analyses, but if this is true it’s a terribly defective way to do it. Our history classes, with their essays about real things that actually happened do a fine job of that already.

Overall, all of these issues go back to the same major problem: plenty of people act as though fiction is written as a genuine rational attempt to predict the future, and it is not.

Let me be clear: I don’t object to reading literature at all. Earth Abides was incredibly moving for me, and I don’t regret reading it in the slightest. I do object to using literature as evidence in discussions about the real world. If I had to make an argument about true human nature, or what

continued from p. 4

would happen if a virus wiped out most of the population, Earth Abides would be included only as a short footnote, if at all. There are plenty of non-fictionalized resources to draw from, and I would draw first and primarily from them.

This is not just an issue in English classes: as far as I can tell, drawing vast conclusions from fiction is common in literary criticism, like in New York Times book reviews: all the positive reviews I can remember end by stating how the book makes a profoundly meaningful statement about X, or something similar. If I had to write a review about the same book, I might write many of the same things as the actual reviewer about how the book made me laugh or cry, but I would conclude that the book is a work of fiction, and so we have to be careful

about how much meaning we assign it. In the end, it might be a by-product of my more scientific thought structure.

In ancient Greece, Aristotle concluded that objects fall faster the heavier they are, purely from sitting and thinking to himself. He never tested this by, say, dropping two objects of the same size and shape, but with different weights, from the same height. Aristotle also claimed that men had more teeth than women. He never decided to, say, count them. It took hundreds of years to correct his mistakes.

Scientists learned in the Middle Ages that you do not find truth in the world by sitting in your living room and thinking. They learned that, to find out truth about reality, it is necessary to interact with it.

Wheelchair Problems

By EMILY SCARPULLA

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

locked all day, meaning a music student in a wheelchair would not be able to get to a music class. I had to text someone during Have you ever thought about what it would be like to go rehearsal to come out and open all the doors into the building through school in a wheelchair? Getting to each class through for me, disrupting the entire rehearsal. This situation could have hallways that are impossible to been easily avoided if our school move through even when you had proper accommodations for can walk? Relying on others to students in wheelchairs. open doors and get things out of IHS installed an elevator in the your bag? I had never really given school in the late 1980s and, bemuch thought to it before I had to fore that, students who could not deal with it myself. There’s an elclimb the stairs had to be assigned evator and ramps, sure, but is that to classes that were downstairs. really enough to accommodate a Luckily, our school has since made person in a wheelchair? I would many improvements to the buildsay no. ing to make it more accessible.

In the two short weeks that I After the passage of the Amerihad to be in a wheelchair, I found cans with Disabilities Act (ADA), many problems in our school that schools were required to have a would make it very difficult for certain level of accessibility to all someone permanently disabled buildings in schools. Our school to get through the day. The mais in compliance with the numjority of the automatic doors in Everyday tasks become challenging in a wheelchair. ber of automatic doors and ramps the school do not open and the required by the ADA, but they ones that do only open about halfway; it can be very frustrat- must be able to open and be accessible to students as a means of ing to have to wait for the next person to come along and open entrance. This is a serious problem that could limit the ability the door. Many building entrances do not even have automatic for disabled students to utilize our school’s resources. Although doors, giving only limited entrance for these students. The music there are no students permanently in wheelchairs this year, this building, for example, only has two automatic doors and they are issue should be dealt with for the good of future students.

March 7, 2013

Budget Projects Property Taxes to Increase for Ithacans, Fine Arts Program Efforts Bring AP Art History and Music Theory to IHS Next Year

By ARYEH ZAX

The Board of Education (BoE) held one of its bimonthly meetings on February 26.

IHS’s student council opened a school store this week. The store is open during periods three through six every Wednesday and sells IHS memorabilia like sweatpants, t-shirts, and sweatshirts. In sports news, IHS’s varsity boys’ swim team finished an undefeated season in mid-February and will advance around eight swimmers to state meets.

On February 25, the frack action group at Lehman Alternative Community School (LACS) was featured on Nickelodeon after winning a competition for their song “You’ve Been Fracked,” drawing attention from Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick as well as Assemblywoman Barbara Lifton, D-Ithaca. LACS is looking to digitize some of its portfolios in a small installment, to make accessing them much easier for teachers. LACS principal Joe Greenberg met with IHS staff to improve coordination between the schools and to increase student awareness of the ability to take classes at both schools.

The School Lunch Financial Report was discussed at the meeting. Recent federal regulations have been a burden on many school districts, but not the Ithaca City School District, which was, in effect, already complying with them.

“Many districts’ food service programs

are really bleeding money right now because of the new Federal regulations,” said Robert Ainsley, president of the BoE. “Frankly, [we’ve already complied with many of the new requirements, like switching to more locally grown food]. You really see a lot of folks [in other districts] giving up the food service program, because the portions aren’t what they expected or the food is not what they expected.”

Superintendent Luvelle Brown delivered an extended superintendent’s report, a feature of each meeting. His report included a lengthy evaluation on the budget and projected property tax increases for Ithaca residents. Ithaca’s budget was fairly typical for a New York school district this year, though a slight increase means Ithacans could see their property taxes go up by about 2 percent.

There will be a conference at IHS July 29-30 on analyzing contemporary data and improving the quality of instruction. The conference’s website invites attendees “to explore innovations and best practices for instructional planning and delivery.”

David M. Brown, Director of Fine and Performing Arts, gave a presentation about student involvement in his area. He commented on the state of the arts, including IHS’s great facilities and student involvement. He is involved in organizing an IHS Gospel Choir along with Fe Nunn, and is behind the recent introduction of AP Music

Theory and AP Art History at IHS. He’s also looking into getting a Modern Dance class accepted for gym credit.

“I’ve been in six districts...and [Kulp] has to be one of the finest Performing Arts Centers I’ve seen,” Brown said.

A link on Brown’s Twitter leads to an article on the importance of the arts in youth education.

Rhonda Bullard, District Coordinator of Health, Physical Education, and Wellness and Danielle LaRoche, Wellness and Athletics Officer, gave a joint presentation to the board on district health, wellness, and sports. Among the topics they discussed were improving elementary school programs, getting more and better mats for wrestlers and cheerleaders, and giving players of Modified sports their own uniforms, instead of the hand-me-downs they currently get from varsity and junior varsity teams. A goal-oriented physical fitness class for students looking to go into the field and our new Strength and Conditioning Room, where sports teams and students alike can come every weekday to work out, were also brought up.

“It’s amazing. It’s better than some of the weight rooms I worked at when I was working in colleges … [teams don’t have to be] here until 10 o’clock at night. They can get home on time to do their schoolwork and their day isn’t dominated by waiting to use the gym,” said LaRoche.

IHS Senior Casey Fetsko Could Be Headed to the Coast Guard Academy Next Year

By MANSI VOHRA

Senior Casey Fetsko working with children in Monte Plata, Dominican Republic on a trip with her church, St. Katherine of Siena in the summer.

In the fall, when most seniors had the ordinary two to four year university on their minds, Casey Fetsko ’13 was thinking about something else: a place where she could receive an education in environmental science and marine studies. Fetsko filled out an application to the Coast Guard Academy (CGA), one of the five federal service academies, based

in New London, Connecticut. If accepted, she could be heading there in the fall of 2013 not only a student, but also a cadet.

Fetsko said she first heard about the academy from her dad, and after doing research, became interested and thought it was worth applying to.

“I want to do something where I can help people,” she said. “I applied because it’s a good mix of athletics, academics, and military service.”

According to its website, the CGA allows students to choose from one of eight continued on p. 9

7

March 7, 2013

Team 639 Suffers From Mechanical Difficulties in Rochester, But Hopes They’ll Be Fixed For Next Competition in Ohio PHOTO/\VIKA WASYLIW

Robots playing “Ultimate Ascent,” the 2012-2013 game at the FIRST Rochester Regional

By POOJA VERMA

IHS’s For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology (FIRST) Robotics Team 639, Code Red Robotics, headed to their first competition - The Finger Lakes Regional - for the 2012-13 season last week. Competition took place at the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) from February 28 to March 2.

Out of 49 teams, Team 639 placed 33rd in the qualification matches that were held on Friday, March 1. As a result, the team did not qualify for the quarter finals that were held the next day, which featured alliance competition among the top eight teams. Although they didn’t qualify for quarterfinals, 639 won the spirit award for the first time in history, and placed second for the safety award. Member Hannah Thompson ’13 has been working hard to ensure safety is a top priority for the team by ordering many safety glasses and working with judges and safety administrators on various Robotics teams.

Team 3015 “Ranger Robotics” from Spencer Port, NY were the number one seed from the qualification matches, but did not end up taking home the gold in the finals on Saturday, March 2. Instead, teams 3003, 1559, and 1405 won Regionals in their alliance.

Code Red’s robot, The Red Raptor, is one of two robots

worldwide which uses an arm to shoot frisbees. Yet, this robot and specifically the arm, proved to be faulty during competition when the team experienced mechanical difficulties, which hindered their ability to rank within the top eight.

On the robot, there’s a wrist on the arm of the shooter which angles the shot before the frisbee is released. But the motor of the wrist wasn’t working properly at competition, and as such, the team faced a heavy loss.

639 used the free time they received during quarter finals to their advantage by working out the mechanical difficulties and prepping the robot for their next competition, the Buckeye Regional, which will be held in Cleveland, Ohio on March 28. The team could still go on to World Championships in St. Louis, Missouri if they win the Engineering Inspiration Award, which brought them there last year.

In preparing for the RIT Regionals, Code Red had a six week build season – the time frame in which teams received the game challenge and designed, prototyped, and fabricated the robot. The Red Raptor was bagged and tagged a few days ago, and was a successful contender in this year’s game challenge: Ultimate Ascent.

Ultimate Ascent is a game that revolves around the use of Frisbees. Each team creates a robot that can successfully shoot Frisbees into targets at three heights. The higher the target, continued on p. 8

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March 7, 2013

IHS to Feature Social Justice Week in March

Global Issues Will Be Showcased Through Lectures, Panels, and Presentations

By ANNA KUCHER

TEAM 639 IN ROCHESTER

PHOTO/\HAERIN LEE

Social Justice week, a new event at IHS this year, will be held during the week of March 18. Inspired by the abundance of service-oriented clubs at IHS, Social Justice Week will be full of presentations and lectures designed to give every IHS student a chance to get involved with social justice issues in the school, community, and world. The goal of the week is to expose more students in the school to existing issues and give them an opportunity to do something about them. Teachers, students, and community members will all be involved.

Clubs are working with outside organizations to arrange guest speakers, panels, presentations, and lectures on topics that will educate students about human rights and social justice issues. Each day will have a different schedule based on the format clubs and presenters choose. Teachers will be able to bring their students, and there will also be opportunities for any student with a free period to attend the presentations that interest them.

Activities Director Karl Mellander is spearheading the project, and explained reasons behind having it in the first place. “It’s two-fold,” he said.

“One reason is educating students about what social justice actually means; having that discussion. We tend to get too lost in our own visions

and not see the bigger picture and realize that a lot of our struggles, a lot of things that we see in our communities, are actually really similar to things happening worldwide. I think establishing that dialogue and discussion among students is really important. It’s about developing school

Liberty in North Korea (LINK) will be one of the organizations presenting during Social Justice week from March 18 through the 22 in Kulp.

culture, and providing students with information they wouldn’t normally get.”

According to Mellander, the most important thing for students to know about Social Justice week is that, “It is open for anyone; you don’t have to wait for your teacher to bring it to you. Know that it’s there for you, and for your cultural awareness.”

A preview of the week’s events: • Neighbors of the Onondaga Nation (NOON) and Cornell Cooperative Extension are working together to prepare a presentation for students.

• African-Latino Club, partnered with the Dorothy Cotton Institute, whose mission is to develop and train leaders for a global human rights movement while sharing and promoting practices that open pathways to peace and justice.

• Changhee Chun, an Ithaca College professor, will be a guest speaker on the day of the week organized by ESL students and International Club.

• Strong Women Impacting Society (SWIS) will be partnering with Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) to put on workshops and lectures that will explore the issues of women in politics, music, modeling. They will also talk about the misrepresentation of women and LGBTQ roles in media.

• Green Team and World Affairs will be partnering with Tamar Law ’13 and Anna Kucher ’15 to put on a Forum on Fracking that will bring in scientists, politicians, lawyers, and community members to educate students on the risks and promises of hydraulic fracturing and discuss fracking as an issue of social justice.

• Other clubs to participate in the event include Invisible Children, Asian-American club, and Liberty in North Korea.

continued from p. 7

the more points awarded to the team. The team can also gain points if the robot can climb up the frame of a square pyramid with rungs at 30, 60, and 90 inches above the ground; each rung climbed gains the team an additional 10 points.

The match goes for two minutes, and in the last 30 seconds, human players can attempt to throw Frisbees from across the field into the targets to score extra points.

Teams at FIRST competitions compete in randomly picked alliances of three. After playing in a series of qualification

matches, each team is ranked based on the number of points scored and number of matches won. The top eight teams then choose their alliance partners for the elimination matches, played in a tournament style.

Follow Code Red’s Twitter (@CRRteam639) for live updates on the action at competition! To learn more about Code Red Robotics, visit www.team639.org or email ikrywe@icsd.k12.ny.us. To learn more about FIRST, please visit usfirst.org.

March 7, 2013

STEVE WEISSBURG IN MOROCCO continued from p. 1

around us. It’s good to knock down the walls and see what’s outside. Sometimes that experience can be disorienting, or even scary. You start to wonder: Who am I? What is a human? Why are we here?

What binds us? But those are good questions to ponder.

Does it make me a better teacher? I think so.

Part of being a good teacher is understanding and accommodating different perspectives. You can’t do that if all you know is what you know. Sometimes we have this model of school as a place where we dump a bunch of knowledge in unwilling students’ heads. Really we want to convey the tools to observe, question, analyze and respond to our environment. That’s what travel teaches you to do. If you analyzed the random thoughts drifting through my head, the majority would be questions, not answers.

AZ: Why Morocco and South Africa specifically? Have you been abroad before?

SW: I am really fortunate to have visited several countries on several different continents. It was never really a goal, it has just worked out that way.

I am prone to wanderlust. Most recently I have visited Morocco, and this April I will be in South Africa.

Morocco was a fortunate fluke. I participated in a program run through the State Department that sends U.S. teachers to visit schools overseas. They asked us to list our top choices. Morocco was not one of mine, but they sent me there anyway. I’m so glad they did. I had never been to a Muslim country before. It is impossible to live in the U.S. and have a clear understanding of life in an Islamic country.

This is what I mean about knocking down the walls. My experience in Morocco was really pleasant and beautiful. I expected a society that would be rigid, closed-minded and culturally uniform. All those assumptions were wrong. My hosts and the students I met were incredibly generous and open.

We discussed all kinds of topics. I found the culture very rich and deep (it’s thousands of years old). I learned to love the sound of Arabic, especially the French-infused Arabic that is spoken in Morocco.

And I found the omnipresence of Islam surprisingly affecting. I’m not saying I’m converting, but you can’t hear the daily call to prayer and fail to be spiritually moved, even an atheist like me.

South Africa is like an old friend; I spent a year there with my family on a Fulbright 10 years ago.

I also spent two years in Gabon when I was in the Peace Corps in the 80’s. Africa really resonates with me, although it’s hard to explain why. In some ways it is very challenging: there is a lot of poverty and sickness. AIDS is endemic. Some of things you see

are heartbreaking and you can feel overwhelmed with despair. But maybe that’s what I love about it, because people are not overwhelmed by despair.

There is more joy and hope and beauty in Africa than any other place I have been. In a way, it gives you hope for the future because you see how resourceful and indomitable the human spirit is.

On this trip I will be visiting schools in some of the most impoverished townships, but these are amazing schools. They are producing top quality students with excellent academic and leadership skills. I want to see how they do it.

AZ: What do you miss most about Ithaca?

SW: The great weather. Just kidding. Of course I miss my family and my students. And we all live in a very beautiful place. Ithaca is an unique community and it has a lot to offer -- although we sometimes suffer from an island mentality here. Part of the joy of traveling is that it helps you appreciate what you’ve left behind. And strangely, I always develop a huge craving for pizza, even though it’s not normally a major component of my diet.

AZ: What words of consolation do you have for all the students who miss you?

SW: I’ll be back soon enough and then you’ll remember why I drive you nuts. When I return I should be a more relaxed, cheerful person with some great urban African dance moves. Try to catch me before it dissipates and I shift back into math teacher mode.

AZ: What have your favorite moments been abroad?

SW: Too many to name, but generally those moments when you open up to something completely alien and are surprised to find that it feels completely natural. Like eating with my hands in Morocco or successfully navigating a formal greeting in an African language.

AZ: What would you suggest to students/other teachers interested in traveling to foreign countries?

SW: Go. Life is short, you won’t regret it. My global education website (http://globaleducationicsd.weebly.com) has a page of travel opportunities for students and teachers. For students I highly recommend taking a gap year to travel. Most colleges really support this (you’ll come back smarter, more motivated, more independent and culturally aware – what’s not to support?). You are a human first, and an American second. You will never really understand the difference if you never leave the country.

CASEY FETSKO continued from p. 6

majors: Civil Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Electrical Engineering, Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering, Operations Research and Computer Analysis, Marine and Environmental Sciences, Government, and lastly, Management.

If she goes, Fetsko plans on studying Marine and Environmental Sciences, which, she said, could lead to careers in search and rescue, environmental protection, marine protection, and regulating factors in the environment.

She described the CGA curriculum as unique in that it requires academic classes during the school year and military training during the summer. Training consists of classes in nautical science, leadership, ethics, and organizational behavior. Fetsko also said that the four-year tuition is completely covered by the US Coast Guard, with the promise that students serve five years in the marines after graduating.

Fetsko said that although the academy chooses where cadets get stationed after graduation, she’d like to be working in Cognac, Alaska during those five years cleaning up after natural disasters and oil spills while enforcing environmental regulations.

“I really like the cold,” she said. “It’d be cool to live somewhere remote where I’ve never been before.”

Fetsko, who goes to Monte Plata in the Dominican Republic every two years for community service work with her church, said she’d be fully prepared for the academy, working with people, post-graduation service, and whatever lies in store beyond.

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March 7, 2013

Ithaca’s Homeless Continue to Find A Home In “The Jungle” Behind Wegmans

The Jungle, an encampment behind Wegmans where the homeless live and congregate, draws attention to many items upon entry, most notably an American flag tied to a tree.

By RUBIN DANBERG-BIGGS

“The Jungle” sits sandwiched between a river and the railroad tracks directly behind Wegmans. Just removed from the road, it’s not always easy to pick out when zipping by in a car. At first glance, there

doesn’t appear to be more than a number of run down tents, vaguely reminiscent of the premium camping equipment of sporting goods stores. It’s more of a spectacle to most Ithacans than a neighborhood; something viewed from the outside, but not a place that any dare to enter. Fear

of vagrancy and violence keep most away from this, Ithaca’s largest “permanent” home for the city’s homeless. For now, the Jungle lays vacant; abandoned by people who are fully aware that a community of tents is ill-equipped to withstand Ithaca’s brutal winters. This allowed a remarkable opportunity for unfettered exploration of what proved to be a surprisingly expansive and elaborate area.

Entering the Jungle is a somewhat daunting experience, given its reputation and withdrawn atmosphere. Like something of a welcome mat, one is greeted first by a truly incredible feat of technology: a toilet made completely out of snow. Moving on, past a defiantly fluttering American flag, it becomes evident how large and sprawling the Jungle really is. Following a path for nearly a quarter of a mile, the strange and the practical are almost equally surprising.

A functioning dock, equipped with fishing rods and a massive fire pit indicate that although living there during winter may be impossible, this community is evidently a sustainable living environment. At the same time, the head of a baby doll pinned to a tree and a maple festooned with nailed flip flops serve as reminders that much goes on within the confines of the Jungle that simply cannot be explained by a stroll through the dormant grounds. In a somber example of fellowship in this small community, a gravestone strewn with neatly placed flowers and photographs marks the resting place of a resident who is recorded simply by his first name.

It is often the case that an investigation produces more questions than it does answers. An excursion into the Jungle exemplifies this dilemma, and makes it clear that to fully understand what goes on there, one must visit while it is teeming with life.

There is no doubt that the Jungle is more than a place for the homeless of Ithaca to sleep, but to what extent it truly is a community remains to be seen.

This is a preview for the May issue’s full piece on the Jungle, which will include interviews with the homeless, the Mayor, and the Police department. Stay tuned.

By SARAH SKROVAN

The air force probably won’t let you fly one of these right out of high school.

As we all work furiously towards the day on which we leave high school and begin a new and exciting life, many students here at IHS forget that there are actually many options besides going to college directly after high school graduation. Some of the most common options include taking a gap year, going into military service, and entering the workforce, etc. Each one can prove to be a valuable and rewarding path to follow, and they require no college education.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting college – currently, an estimated 1.2 percent of freshmen postpone entering college, amounting to about 18,000 people. One of the most rewarding ways to spend this year is to study abroad, which is a very enriching opportunity for those who wish to gain some real-world experience before starting college. Programs such as International Studies Abroad (ISA) Gap Year and Carpe Diem Education offer high school graduates the opportunity not only to explore new cultures and new languages in South and Central America, Africa, Asia,

Europe, and Australia, but also to earn college credits and build up a résumé. Both programs have helpful websites with more information and details. A year abroad can be a valuable way for students to figure out what they want to study and take a needed break from class time.

The military is also an option for students just graduating high school. The best way to find out about military service is to contact a local recruiter; however, all five services, Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, and Navy, have the same basic requirements for eligibility: anyone enlisting must be a citizen or a resident alien, at least 17 years old (with parental consent), have a high school diploma, and pass a physical exam. Each individual service has separate requirements in addition to the basic ones listed. Joining the military gives graduates a chance to serve the country as well as earn a living, and Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) programs also allow participants to attend college with partial scholarships in exchange for military service. You can visit military.com/join-armed-forces for more information.

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

College Alternatives

Finally, entering the work force is a common path that many high school graduates choose to pursue. Many career options only require a high school diploma or a GED, including being an accounting clerk, customer service representative, dental and medical assistant, electrician, fitness trainer, interpreter and translator, pharmacy technician, carpenter, gaming manager and supervisor, and many more. People who enter the work force directly after high school often comment on how glad they are that they were able to get a head start on their careers without the burden of student loans.

The decision of what to do after high school is a very significant and should be considered carefully. In addition to the opportunities in this article, high school graduates can start a business, intern or apprentice, learn a trade, or turn a hobby into a moneymaker. If you are interested in finding out all the options you have after graduating, be sure to speak with the College and Career Office as well as look up more information online. College is not the only option, so be sure to look into the others thoroughly before making a life-shaping decision.

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March 7, 2013

Green Tea Cake!

By RACHEL SALLY Baking columnist

The sun has begun to shine brighter and stronger; spring is nigh upon us. Ithaca’s long grey winter will soon explode with blossoms and life. I love winter, but I am more than ready for some warmth and fresh vegetables. I’m ready for green, people.

So I’m celebrating the month of spring and Jensen’s birthday with a green tea cake! It’s fresh and bright, with a beautiful and surprising ombré color on the inside. It’s a real treat to cut into, and the perfect cake to welcome in spring.

PHOTO/\RACHEL SALLY

Ombré Matcha Cake 4 ounces unsalted butter, softened 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons sugar 3 egg whites 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 ½ cups flour 2 tsp. baking powder ¼ tsp. salt ¾ cup milk 1 scant tablespoon, 1 ½ teaspoons, and ¾ teaspoon matcha powder (find it at Wegmans in the organic tea aisle), divided a few drops of green food coloring

Directions: The green flavor is on the inside.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour as many 6- or 8-inch pans as you have; you will end up with four layers, so if you have 2 pans, just bake two of the layers, cool and clean the pans, and bake the second two layers. Cream together the butter and sugar for about 2 minutes, until very fluffy and pale yellow; beat in the vanilla and egg whites until combined. Whisk the dry ingredients together in a separate bowl. Add to the butter mixture, alternating with the milk; start and finish with the dry. Divide your batter in half as evenly as possible (I weigh mine out), then divide those in half, too. Pour one quarter of the batter into a pan as is. Add 1 scant tablespoon of matcha and 2 drops green food coloring to one bowl, in another, add 1 ½ teaspoons matcha plus 1 drop green food coloring, and in the third, add only ¾ teaspoon matcha. Stir each well, and pour into prepared pans. Bake for 15-17 minutes. Allow to cool for 15 minutes, then remove from pans and cool completely.

PHOTO/\RACHEL SALLY

For the [tangy] frosting: 4 ounces sour cream (a heaping ½ cup) 8 ounces cream cheese 4 ounces butter, softened 3 cups powdered sugar, sifted pinch salt and dash vanilla extract Directions: Beat the butter and cream cheese together until fluffy and pale. Add in the sour cream, vanilla, salt, and sugar, and beat on low speed until combined.

Scrumptious!

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March 7, 2013

Teacher Feature - Micheryl Blake

BY CONOR COUTTS Staff Writer

You have probably seen her around campus and wondered, “Who is this women with a walkie talkie, formal attire, and a smiling face?” Is she an AP, a counselor, a district official? No. She is Micheryl Blake, Graduation Coach – a position created this year. Some probably recall Ms. Blake as a fourth grade teacher at Beverly J. Martin Elementary, but this year she has taken leave from her elementary school role and is seizing the day with a new administrative role. As Graduation Coach, it will be her job to meet with students to help them achieve this goal: You will graduate – and here’s what you need to do to get there. Those who know her know she can get things done, but this duty is not a simple one. I sat down with her not only to talk about her new Graduation Coaching gig but also about her personal life, her philosophy, and many other things.

Conor A. Coutts ’13: Where were you born and educated?

Micheryl Blake: I was born in New York and educated at Columbia University and John Jay College with a degree in criminal justice and social deviant behavior.

CC: Why did you come to Ithaca?

MB: Actually, it was an offer to work in the school system here.

CC: Who are you?

MB: I’m an African-American woman. Well rounded, I have traveled halfway around the world, twice. I run a business in addition to teaching; I am a wedding planner and consultant. I also have been teaching for the last 17 years. I would consider myself very involved in the community. I love working with children. And because of those things, I have a passion for social work and teaching.

CC: What made you want to become a teacher?

MB: I worked in New York City, in the hotel and shelter system. So I had a chance to see and work with a lot of individuals who were homeless and I thought if I could reach them before they became my clients and give them a different outlook, that would be amazing.

CC: Describe your experience teaching the classroom in one word.

MB: Diverse.

CC: What made you want to come to Ithaca High School from your position at BJM? MB: The opportunity to work with students who I had as elementary students and make sure they were given someone to help them with their academics and to see to it that they made it all the way through the end to graduation.

CC: Why is it important for students to graduate?

MB: Because life goes on after high school; there’s so much more for students to see and an opportunity for students to express who they are and show the world who they are is very important.

CC:What method will you apply to encourage students to graduate?

MB: Encouragement. Reinforcing and allowing them to tap into their own strengths.

CC:What other responsibilities do you assume at IHS? MB: I would say a mixture of counseling, motivational speaking, a deterrent for discipline issues, and organizational know-how to organize their lives and their courses.

CC: What are some special talents you possess?

MB : I write. I have a license in interior design and decorating, and I draw.

I love to draw pictures.

CC: What are the three most impor-

tant things to you?

MB : Education, travel, and family.

CC: What changes need to be made in our community and school district?

MB: I think that all students really need to have opportunity to explore.

What I mean by that is sometimes students come in and they don’t know what they want to do, so they don’t make the right choices. And I think if they choose the wrong things, then there should be an opportunity for them to redirect that energy into something more positive and I think your community needs to open up to have more things geared to young people, to say “You know, I made a mistake; I wanna explore new options” and I think that should be available without being critical of their past.

CC: Describe a typical day when you leave school.

MB: Most of the time, I leave here after five and a typical day after that is to go to the gym and work out for about an hour, and then I go home and paint. I actually paint.

CC: What is one event in your life that you failed at?

MB: When I left corporate America and first started teaching because I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’ll elaborate - I was the fifth teacher in a middle school in Brooklyn and I didn’t know what to expect being the fifth teacher of the school in the particular class. So I failed initially on how to present a lesson with them - they taught me well.

CC: What do you see in your future?

MB: Actually, I see myself continuing to work with young people and possibly establishing my own program for young adults.

CC: If you could give one piece of advice to graduating seniors, what would it be?

MB: It’s okay to make several choices about your career.

Never Let Me Go: High-Brow Sci-Fi PHOTO/\PROVIDED

By MEDEEA POPESCU

Reading the first half of Kazuo Ishiguro’s masterful novel, you could be forgiven for thinking that there was nothing amiss in the lives of friends Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy at the idyllic Hailsham School, an English boarding school whose timeless quality makes it impossible to determine whether the action takes place a decade ago or a decade in the future. Their dramas – petty childhood arguments and teenage rebellion – are set against the orderly backdrop of the school. Every few days, they have medical examinations with the stern Nurse Trish, and every few weeks a cold woman called simply “Madame” comes to collect samples of the childrens’ pieces of art or writing for her “Gallery.” The students never go home or talk about parents and siblings, and from time to time a character will make an unexplained remark about “What’s going to happen to us one day. Donations and all that.” But these quirks are still not sufficiently out of the ordinary to arouse suspicion.

As Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy grow older, they’re sent to live semi-independently in the Cottages, the fallingdown remains of an isolated farmhouse. They do nothing much for 3 years; technically, the students are working on an “essay,” but for the most part they test the limits of their new freedom and learn to function in the real world as best they can. They’re 17 and 18 now, and all of them seem to be searching for something. Kathy holds on to the belief that she will find, in a secondhand music shop somewhere, an old cassette she treasured at Hailsham. Ruth is convinced that she will find her doppelganger in the small seaside town of Norfolk. All of them look for ways, rumours and whisperings, to escape what’s in store. By now, the reader should understand what the characters’ fate will be, and the calm, matter-of-fact way Kathy describes her life and those of her friends becomes almost horrifying when juxtaposed with the reality of their situations. It’s a sci-fi book, but something more. Ishiguro is spookily adept at recreating the inner life of a maturing young adult, and this story becomes an allegory for the journey of realization we all have, as well as a warning about the extent humanity to which will go to evade uncomfortable truths. Highly recommended for a haunting read.

The cover of Never

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March 7, 2013

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Ken Butler: The Wacky Instrument Innovator

Ithaca High School Audition Workshop

By EMMA PLOTKIN

A different look at “musical creativity”

By CASHEL STEWART Staff Writer

There seems to be an absence of creativity and legitimate art in music nowadays, but musician Ken Butler’s experimental instruments and music revive creative sound. Butler is an innovator and an experimental builder of musical instruments. He creates instruments using such diverse materials as sporting equipment, household objects, and hardware tools. Some items include a sled, a shovel, a boot, a clothes hanger, even a manikin. You may wonder: how do these things even make noise? Butler somehow brings them to life. He takes an ordinary object, slaps a few strings on it, and calls it an instrument. In the artist statement on his website, Butler describes his work as “a spirit of re-invention and hyper-utility attempts to reveal hidden meanings and associations, momentarily creating a striking and re-animated cultural identity for common objects.” This unique style has made Butler internationally recognized. His talent has been admired on NPR, CBS, PBS, CNN, MTV, and The Tonight Show. His work is found in museums all over the country. His music has been heard across the nation, too; Butler even had the opportunity to perform with the legendary Laurie Anderson. His performances draw a diverse crowd - those who love art, those who love music, and those who love...coat hangers.

“What’s really amazing about Ken’s work is that not only are his instruments as fun and inventive as sculptures, they work as instruments,” said Susan Moagan, a producer of children’s performance series in Brooklyn who hired Butler. “He is a truly gifted musician.” Creativity is essential in music-making, and Butler’s visionary act revitalizes musical imagination and challenges conventional views of music and instruments.

The avenues for the creative world thin out as we get older. The people who did not start acting when they were young find it difficult to break into theater. This, in part, is why I created the Ithaca High School Audition Workshop, a six-week course that will teach students all they need to know to have a great audition.

I have loved theater since I was little. My father is a filmmaker and my sister a director so I have been surrounded by art and culture my whole life. Even though I started acting when I was very young, I know how rejection feels.

I know what it’s like to go to an audition and have your hopes up so high, so shiny and new and untouchable and have them be crushed. You have to rebuild yourself, move on, say it was a fluke or that the director was off his meds or whatever you can. Your fragile confidence teeters like a Jenga tower. In the end there is always a part of you that wonders, “Why me? Why was I not chosen?”

If you start theater in high school or older you will ask yourself that question a lot. There are so many minute things that can lose you the part. Directors tend to like enthusiastic, easily directed, and charming actors. They like an actor who gets there ten minutes early to sign in and has a long résumé that says how fantastic they are.

A performer can try out for a show dozens of times before they ever get a part, so learning the skill of auditioning is a necessary step. For most, acting is a source of entertainment, maybe a hobby. What the general public doesn’t realize is that an acting audition is the basis on which you will be judged your entire life. If you can get a part in a show you can make an impression in your college interview. You will show passion, resourcefulness and an eagerness to learn. You will get the prized internship and that job you always wanted. An audition is about confidence, passion and charisma. It is about good diction and telling a story with the flick of your eyes and the curve of your arms. If you truly desire to succeed in life, you have to audition. That is why I am teaching this class.

write email editor@ihstattler.com

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March 7, 2013

The Perennial Pride and Prejudice

By ELISE REYNOLDS

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

celebrate Austen’s novel, merging study of the historical society with study of the literature, much like the Combined class that It is a universally acknowledged truth that the bicentennial of she helped to found. “Education should be self-directed,” she Jane Austen’s beloved Pride and Prejudice is a pretty big deal in the responded when asked about her inspiration for the project. “If literary world. For two we want students who hundred years, people love learning, we need of all walks of life have to allow them to study been entranced by things that are of interAusten’s epic love story, est to them.” The histoboth inside and outry and literature enrich side of the classroom. one another, adding up The story has stood to a well-rounded and the test of time despite truly interesting expethe fact that Regencyrience. “I love classic era England is a far cry literature and I thought from today’s technolothis project would algy-crazed society, and low me to get more inthe novel’s popularity volved in the literature shows no signs of goin a way that I couldn’t ing down. in the classroom,” said For the past two Emily Scarpulla ’14, months, a small group one of the student cuof Austen-loving sturators. dents, advised by Mrs. Studying Pride and Pasquale-Bowen, have Prejudice provides involunteered their time sight into the reasons to research the early that the novel’s popu19th-century backlarity has persisted in drop of Pride and Preja constantly changing udice and the modern social climate. The gefilm and literary adnius of Austen’s writing aptations of the novel. makes for a thoroughly Our collaboration has pleasurable read; her culminated in exhibdry, witty turns of its here at IHS (in the Painting on the cover of Pride and Prejudice phrase and relatable library and F-Hallway display cases) and the Tompkins County characters capture readers of all ages. The themes of the novel Public Library, both of which will be available for public viewing and the characters’ flaws remain as relevant today as they were throughout the month of March. The official opening of the ex- two centuries ago. Under the mildly antiquated language and hibit will be on March 12 in the IHS library after school, followed unfamiliar cultural norms of Pride and Prejudice is a timelessly by a showing of the critically-acclaimed 2005 film adaptation of romance that everyone – not just girls – should pick up at least Pride and Prejudice. once. As Mrs. P-B put it, “It’s an enduring story – a tale of love and Mrs. P-B’s goal was to create an interdisciplinary project to marriage and attraction that continues…forever.”

HELP WANTED The Tattler needs

cartoonists, columnists,

photographers, and most of all,

email editor@ihstattler.com for more information

writers.

Major League Baseball Top 10

By CASHEL STEWART Staff Writer

As the 2013 MLB season looms nearer, everyone’s asking: who’s going to be the best?

1. Washington Nationals They were first in the regular season last year; who’s to say they won’t do it again? With a 98-64 record last year, and one of the youngest teams in baseball, there is only room for improvement as long as they stay healthy. Last year’s Rookie of the Year Bryce Harper and the acquired Denard Span fill the only hole on the National’s squad; the outfield. Their pitching staff, too, is exemplary. With Stephen Strasburg leading the starters and Rafael Soriano in the bullpen, their defense is as solid as their offense.

2. San Francisco Giants

3. Cincinnati Reds The Reds haven’t changed much since last year, but with last year’s second-best record, they likely won’t need to. They have some flaws, such as a missing center fielder, but their offense is still among the best in the league.

Let’s just say, keep your eye on the NL East race, for it has replaced the AL East as the most exciting division. The Braves had a very successful offseason, repairing their outfield with B.J. and Justin Upton. They also acquired Jordan Walden, who should prove beneficial late in games.

5. Toronto Blue Jays Woah! The Blue Jays could actually be good this year? Yes. They had easily the best offseason, acquiring R.A. Dickey, Josh Johnson, Mark Buehrle, and José Reyes; three exceptional pitchers, one of whom won the Cy Young last year, and arguably the most agile player in baseball. We have yet to see how these players work together, but as long as they stay healthy and cooperate, they could potentially end up atop the AL. 6. Texas Rangers The Rangers lost Josh Hamilton, which was a blow, but they should be fine. They have strength and they have depth on both ends of the spectrum. Yu Darvish was especially dominant last year.

7. Los Angeles Dodgers The Dodgers have potential. They are a team made up of past stars who simply need to get out of their slumps.

Zack Greinke is an exceptional pitcher, but for the past few years, he hasn’t been on top of his game. Similarly, Josh Beckett was the star at Fenway during their championship stretch in the ’00s, but was booed by everyone

in Boston last year. Only he can turn it around. LA also has Adrian Gonzalez, a made star in Boston, and a huge disappointment last year, as well as the injury-stricken Matt Kemp. His health is vitally important to LA’s success. They could be great.

8. New York Yankees They lack depth, they are old, and they are very vulnerable. However, with age comes experience. This looks to be New York’s last year with the all-time leader in saves, Mariano Rivera, who was injured for almost the entirety of last season. For the Yankees to do great, C.C. Sabathia needs to be on top of his game, Derek Jeter needs to repeat last year’s season, and Robinson Cano needs to regain his title as the MLB’s best second basemen.

9. Detroit Tigers The Tigers should have no problems securing the AL Central title again.

The real question is will whether they will reach the World Series again.

They haven’t changed much since last season, and the AL is looking shockingly weak compared to the NL, so it’s possible. They have a deep rotation, a high-quality lineup, and let’s not forget Justin Verlander.

10. Tampa Bay Rays

PHOTOS/\PROVIDED

They won the World Series last year, and have hardly altered their roster during the offseason. They resigned virtually all of their stars. They have Buster Posey and Pablo Sandoval, and their pitching staff is still the strength of the team...that tells you something. It tells you they’re an outstanding team and might very well do it again.

4. Atlanta Braves

They’ve had trouble with injuries, and it could happen again. The health of the Rays and a possible contender for Rookie of the Year, prospect Wil Myers, will decide the Rays 2013 fate.

Also, they have quite possibly the deepest rotation in baseball.

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March 7, 2013

Why did the golfer buy new socks? (see next caption)

The Great Sport of Golf NED LAUBER

In the good old days (around 1950), golf was a sport played by snobs – rich old white men who had nothing better to do with their lives. But now, younger snobs have turned their backs on golf. Now, these snobs make the unfounded claim that golf is not only lame, boring, and un-fun (yes, it’s a word), but also that golf is not even a sport. These are some of the most ridiculous claims that I have ever heard, right up there with “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” “Relationships should be built on mutual trust and friendship,” and “24 was NOT a great show.”

Picture this: a man attempts to hit a small white ball into a designated area. I am, of course, describing baseball, but you’ll notice that my original description could easily have been applied to another sport: golf.

Like baseball, golf is played with a white ball. Like baseball, a person (a golfer or a batter) attempts to hit this sphere into a designated area (the hole or the stands, respectively). At their core, both sports are the same, so if baseball is considered a sport, then how can anyone make a reasonable argument against golf?

I know that some people may not buy this comparison. They’ll say things like: “Baseball and golf are as different as Facebook and Twitter.”

(Not true, Facebook equals Twitter in all ways but that babies are named after Twitter, see baby Hashtag.) Or, “Golf involves less physical exertion than playing monopoly.” (Irrelevant, as lifting little metal pieces requires tremendous upper body strength.) To these people, I’d like to point out the definition of golf. In the highly-regarded and authoritative Urban Dictionary, golf is defined as, “A sport for athletes as they get older and realize their limitations.”

Finally, as some of you may know, I am a student at LACS. In case you have forgotten what LACS stands for, we are the Local Authority on Competitive Sports. As the resident expert on golf at LACS, I can assure you that golf meets the criteria for being a sport. Can you really argue against the dictionary and an expert of the Local Authority? Especially about a sport that has uncountable similarities with baseball?

Note: I’d like to point out that golf involves a tremendous amount of physical exertion. Golfers must cover several miles every day. It’s not like these athletes ride around in motorized vehicles or hire people to carry their clubs.

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

Is Golf a Sport?

There was a hole in one.

Nope ELIE KIRSCHNER

At best, golf passes as a fun, (depending on your age and level of patience) competitive hobby, which can most easily be compared to other so-called “sports” such as fishing, pool, and bowling. These competitive hobbies are separated from true sports because they do not require overall athleticism or a variety of skills; they each focus on only one skill that is the entire basis for the game. And I know, climbing into that golf cart over and over again is an ambitious workout, but it’s not quite comparable to the activity level of true sports like basketball, hockey and swimming (or even something weird like racquetball). Golf, in spite of its dedicated fan base of physically fit seniors and the wealthy who have little else to do, is not much of a sport.

I don’t deny that golf is a relaxing and enjoyable competitive activity, especially for the elderly, morbidly bored, and incorrigibly slow. Nevertheless, being forced to watch golf on TV does seem like a potentially effective method of torture, and it must be hard to concentrate on a putt when you can hear the announcers fighting to stay conscious in the background. Maybe riding around on a golf cart and swinging a metal club with some chums is a cathartic experience I have yet to discover, but that doesn’t make those who participate champions of fitness. One argument in support of golf ’s sport-like rigor is the injuries suffered by many professional golfers, but Tiger Woods hurting his shoulder from swinging too much is similar to me hurting my thumb over the course of my demanding thumb-wrestling career.

But overall, I kid you golf-lovers. I think your sport is more of a dull hobby, but at least you enjoy it.

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March 7, 2013

NBA Midseason Locks PHOTO/\PROVIDED

Offseason Shenanigans

Ryan Mallet’s placeholder

By SEYMOUR BUTTS (aka Peter Frey) Staff Writer

Throughout history there have been times when someone has had to put their fate in the hands of another. It happened to the Jews when they trusted Moses to help them bounce out of Egypt; it happened to Poland when they trusted Hitler to not invade them. Sometimes it pans out, sometimes it doesn’t. We are all in this position now, as the world watches with bated breath to see how Bill Belichick will handle his team in the offseason.

Quarterback: Is Tom Brady the best quarterback the NFL has ever seen under center? Yes. Except one.

The day was October 28, and it was the fourth quarter of a Patriots-Rams faceoff. The score was 35-7 Patriots, but just when all seemed lost, a new player came striding onto the field. After a few warm-up plays that nobody cared about, Ryan Mallett took his rightful place under center. With the practiced ease of a veteran field general, he called audible after audible, bamboozling what some would continued on p. 20

By CHRIS SKAWSKI

Before the season starts, everyone is worried about how their team will start off. The question on everyone’s mind as the season goes on is “How will my team do in the playoffs?”

For Charlotte Bobcat Fans, if they exist, this question has a really unhappy answer, seeing as how the Bobcats couldn’t make the playoffs save by an act of God. As a Celtics fan myself, I like to hope that Rondo returns like an emerald messiah and leads his people to their 18th championship title, but I still cry myself to sleep some nights thinking about their performance over most of this year. For fans of the Heat, on the other hand, thinking about how well the team will do is a much more rewarding exercise. Indeed, the Heat have kept the top spot in the Eastern conference all season long. Their only serious competitor in the East are the Knicks, who have played better this year than they have since the ’90’s. Despite this, the Heat hold a powerful lead over the conference and will most likely take the conference title, due in large part to Lebron James. He has been playing so well this year that people are beginning to consider him on par with the likes of Michael Jordan. His explosive performance has led the Heat to their dominance over the East, and helped them secure the top spot. But this may not lead them to another championship.

In the West, the San Antonio Spurs, Oklahoma City Thunder, and the L.A. Clippers are all serious title contenders. The West poses a serious problem when trying to predict who will take the conference, as so many teams are in the running. Even the Denver Nuggets at 5th in the West right now could realistically take the championship. However, the conference will most likely go to the Spurs. Even the fact that the Spurs are such a clear leader among a tough competition points to the notion that they really are the best at what they do. It may seem kind of shallow to predict that the two current leaders will take their respective conferences, but the Heat and Spurs have both played outstandingly the entire year. Barring some freak event, their performance should hold true throughout the end of the regular season and into the playoffs. That’s not to say that both teams will have their conferences handed to them on a silver platter.

Other than the Knicks, the Heat would have to fight off the Indiana Pacers and Brooklyn Nets, two formidable threats. Even the Boston Celtics, who are currently 7th in the East, have begun to look more and more like an actual threat, having won eight of their last ten since losing Rajon Rondo to injury. The West certainly won’t be a cakewalk for the Spurs. Kevin Durant of Oklahoma City, the future top-scorer for the 2012-13 season (that’s a lock), leads a determined thunderstorm of a team.

And the Clippers have Chris Paul, who leads in steals and has the most assists of an active player, with Rondo injured. Nevertheless, the Heat and Spurs will most likely be the matchup everyone watches when the championship comes around. And this matchup will go to the Heat, given the incredible drive they show.

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March 7, 2013

OFFSEASON SHENANIGANS continued from p. 19

consider the most proficient defensive squad in the league. Nobody saw the slant coming, but when you have speed like Shane Vereen, they rarely do. Just as the powerhouse running back crossed the first down marker he looked back, and he and Mallett locked eyes. Mallet nodded and the crowd fell silent. Like a shot from a cannon the ball sprang forth and rocketed into Vereen’s calloused and time-tested hands. Some say he was tackled, some say the sheer beauty of the throw brought him to his knees, but the 13 yard gain is certain. Am I saying that New England should throw their veteran quarterback to the curb in favor of a mostly unproven rookie? No. But actually yes.

Wide Receiver: This is a safe place for all of us to share their thoughts. No opinion is ridiculed or put down, except all

the ones that don’t align with mine.

It’s because of this that we can share openly. Say it with me now, Wes Welker is doodoo. Nobody has liked him since he was on the Dolphins, and he needs to go. And Brandon Lloyd? Nobody wants a deep threat that isn’t a threat deep. Luckily there is a savior. Julian Edelman might be the greatest professional athlete since the fabled Alan Rickman himself. With the addition of a new Randy Moss-esque catcher, the formula will be complete. I’ll break down the choices for you; Greg Jennings: too old. Pass. Dwayne Bowe: respect for KC, but one year contract max. Percy Harvin: too injury prone. Pass. Mike Wallace: fingers are too slippery.

Pass. Just draft a rookie and move on with your life.

Cornerback: Kyle Arrington is the worst ath-

lete to play the game since Bob Barker. I know what you’re thinking, “I thought we fixed that problem with Aqib Talib”. To which I say, shut up Matt Patricia you don’t know me. But yes, in fact, we did fix that problem with Aqib Talib.

I don’t want to hear anymore talk about injuries or Darrelle Revis, because nothing stops Aqib. Oh and McCourty’s cool, too but he should probably stop returning kicks. That’s Edelman’s job.

Water Boy: I suppose the current ones are fine, but they don’t get quite enough contact steroids into the players’ water. Fortunately, in all likelihood, Mike McCarthy will come to his senses and Clay Matthews, the most steroid-drenched individual in the world, will be in need of a new job.

Quiz - What Type of Critter Are You?

By TOVA WILENSKY Staff Writer

1. Spring is approaching, and so is the sunshine. On the first warm spring day, what do you like to do outside? a. Read a book and relax in the warm air b. Invite your friends over to ride bicycles c. Play soccer in the park, of course! d. Enjoy the view from inside while playing video games e. Take a nap in your hammock - why let all that sun go to waste?

2. What is your favorite part of spring cleaning? a. Re-organizing your desk b. Having your friends help you go through all the junk in your room c. Cleaning and sorting your sports equipment d. Having other people clean for you e. I don’t do spring cleaning.

Why should I? 3. You have a Saturday evening with nothing to do. You invite your friends to:

write

a. Go to the library b. Spend a lot of money at the mall c. Play indoor mini-golf d. See a movie e. Eat the cookies your sister baked 4. You find a lost kitten in your backyard. You decide to: a. Call the police and the SPCA b. Make a “Kitten style” music video starring the kitten with your friends c. Teach the kitten to rollerskate d. Make room for it on the couch and show it your favorite TV shows e. Toss the kitten up in the air to see how physics works 5. Your mom just went shopping and bought a lot of fruit. She tells you that she got too much and that you should do something with it. You: a. Chop the fruit into cubes and make fruit kabobs b. Throw a fruit-themed party c. Blend the fruit together to make a smoothie d. Squish the fruit and make fruit soup e. Break the world record for tallest sculpture made of fruit

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6. You are a marketing consultant for both the Nintendo Wii and X-Box 360. What spring-themed video game would you offer for their new lineup? a. SimCity: Bunnies! b. Super Mario Gardener c. Wii Fit Spring Training d. Spring Channel Surfer e. Super Mario Galaxy 7. What is your favorite kind of transportation? a. Shiny bicycles b. Pimped-out convertible c. Roller skates d. Non-electrical Scooter e. Walking 8. It’s time to amp up your wardrobe for spring! Which accessory sounds like the best choice for you? a. A floral pattern wristwatch b. A straw hat c. Rainbow polka-dotted flipflops d. A crown made from dandelions e. Giant sunglasses 9. If you were a bug, you would love to be able to: a. Create beautiful things no one else can make b. Make special sounds and

buzzes so everyone can hear you c. Have super strength d. Be admired for who you are e. Ignore the world and do your own thing Results Mostly A’s: You are a spider.

You have skillful techniques to accomplish your goals, and once you’re finished, everyone admires your hard work, like the spider’s web.

Mostly B’s: You are a bumblebee. Like the constant buzzing of the bumblebees, you love to talk and have a lot to say, and people always listen to you.

Mostly C’s: You are an ant. You are fast, strong, and you enjoy working with a team.

Although you look small and weak, there is a lot more to you than meets the eye.

Mostly D’s: You are a snail. Although slow, the snail is able to adapt to changes, like outgrowing its shell. Like the snail, you are good at accepting changes and accommodating yourself to them.

Mostly E’s: You are a dinosaur.

Contrary to popular belief, you are not a bug. You are large, dangerous, and capricious, like a T. Rex.

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March 7, 2013 PENULTIMATE

Challenges Have too much spare time?

Such a boss that life is too easy?

Try these challenges:

2) Catch stuff with your feet. Start simple with hacky sacks and then move on to the more challenging objects, like fruit. The next time your pencil rolls off the desk, catch it with your foot, blindfolded of course. Flip it up onto your desk, and then call yourself a total badass with 4 million YouTube views.

3) The day before an important test, sleep early and well. Then, do your best.

(Note: This one seems easy, but is actually a lot harder than the rest.)

Have an interesting challenge? Send a request to backpage@ihstattler.com and you could see IHS students pursuing something that you’ve already mastered.

Challenge image:

4.5) If you can’t get 4), try the easier version: put two chessboards next to each other and fill the first three rows with 48 checkers. Everything else is the same. I’ll be your personal servant if you can do this. Seriously. No joke.

5) Write a mad-libs or something similar that actually makes sense. No pre-reading the story, only the title. Seriously – if you can do this, you’ll need to bring food to throw into everyone’s jaw-dropped mouths.

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If you like what you see (or don’t), submit your own content! Submit cartoons, photography, questions, comments, stories, letters of complaint (or praise), or literary pieces. Hey, maybe you’ll see your name printed on this page.

Drop off your stuff at Backpage Editor E-mail: backpage@ihstattler.com So what are you waiting for? I’m waiting for my soufflé of your thoughts. Chop chop.

PHOTO/\PROVIDED

1) Eat a slice of bread without liquids in under 45 seconds. Toasting the slice is cheating. If you have any saliva left at the end, you’re awesome.

4) Take a chessboard, and fill the first three rows with 24 checkers. Your goal is to move any piece to the other side of the board. The catch: in every move one piece must jump over an adjacent piece vertically or horizontally (but not diagonally) into an empty cell, and removes the piece that was jumped over.

(See the picture).

23

March 7, 2013 PENULTIMATE

Dear Danelle: Dear Danelle, I may have had a little too much fun and then destroyed my dad’s car.

How should I break this news to my parents, while still being able to go outside?

Concerned

Dear Concerned, Okay, good news and bad news.

The bad news is “WHY WOULD YOU CRASH A CAR? I can’t believe you’d be so irresponsible! HOW CAN YOU SUCK AT LIFE SO MUCH?” There is no good news.

Now that I’ve established this, you’ve gotta realize: nothing you can do will fix this incident. Don’t even think for a second of “coming clean” or “fixing the truck” or “having an honest conversation about inner doubts that have been bothering you and contributed to misjudging a sudden moment that could snowball into eventual failure and disappointment but could be

stopped by an honest conversation.”

Right now, you’re in survival mode so pump that adrenaline and don’t realize it’s not actually useful right now.

Get a driver’s license. You’ll need a license to alleviate some of the punishment. By pretending to care about your license, you can make your parents think that they’re really mean if they take it away. Then, they’ll ease up elsewhere, especially if you say something like, “You’re so mean! Why do you hate freedom?” in that whiny, pouty tone. This will make for a great bargaining chip.

So, go to the DMV as soon as possible and take the driving test. Six months haven’t passed yet? Don’t worry, just explain your situation to the DMV. Everyone knows the DMV to be a place with generous, gracious employees. Don’t have a permit? … I see why the car is totaled.

All this talk about chips is making me hungry. Does your dad keep Lay’s

in his truck?

Next, do you have any.... friends? If so, manipulate them to take some of the heat in this situation. People who claim to be best friends to the very end are extremely manipulatable and easy to take advantage of, so put the blame on them. Say they made you laugh too hard, and now you share a scar. Did you get the reference yet? … wait for it... Okay, if you didn’t get it, you missed the bandwagon and it ran you over, destroying you. Ha, irony.

You’ve still left many questions unanswered. What were you doing when you crashed your car? Where is it now? Why is there an abandoned car in my broken living room? Anyway, get back to me ASAP. I’ll tell what to do in a few weeks.

April Fools! Oh wait...

Danelle Agular

Cartoons by Charles Chang

Horoscopes Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Today’s the day you’ll get off the couch, prep yourself for exercise, get exhausted in 10 minutes, and go back to the couch. Boy, that took a serious nosedive.

Aries (March 21 to April 19): A mysterious stranger will appear out of the blue, and your life will change forever. It’s a trap! Hit the stranger with a door.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20): You’ll rediscover an old hobby, and become acquainted with why you enjoyed it so much.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Alex Jones once said, “As long as you shout loudly, you’ll win.” At least I think that’s what he said.

I couldn’t tell with all the shouting.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22): This morning will be the best time of your life.

A combination of presents, old friends, and the lottery will amaze you. (If you are reading this 10 am, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Sorry.)

Leo (July 23 to August 22): An annoying classmate of yours will make you realize a bad habit and give you a chance to change. You’ll take it, or have a moral epiphany (you are the annoying classmate).

Virgo (August 23 to September 22): Be prepared for anything. Tropical storms, falling down the stairs, being proposed to, whatever: have your first aid kit ready.

Libra (September 23 to October 22): Don’t be shy - take your chance and FLY! I don’t know what this means. If you really wanted to fly, why didn’t you rent an airplane?

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21): The stars are not in your favor. From their arrangement in the sky, it is obvious that you must take precautions to prevent sudden danger of... sorry, but the stars are wherever they want to be.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21): Stop blaming technology for your problems. Either learn to use it, or don’t use it at all. (In Soviet Russia, technology uses you.)

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19): You’ll find the strength to overcome an addiction in this month’s Capricorn horoscope.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): You’ll be envious of your best friend when he/she shows up with A BRAND NEW CAR! Sorry, but that’s all, folks!

Sudoku February Solution:

David Bowie Carl Friedrich Gauss Muckraker Rubin Robert Zimmerman March Madness The Black Whale aka David Ortiz When Gregory Peck smiles Saying “whomse” instead of “whose” Tess of the d’Urbervilles When people don’t pay for ads Mr. Dumont’s concussion Alliteration Printing