October 2013 by The Tattler

October 7, 2013 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 121 #7 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE

You Can Print! IMAGE: NAOMI POWERS

Good ol’ 4250 may not be there for you anymore, but printing is still possible.

By RUBIN DANBERG-BIGGS

It’s very exciting to write such an air-clearing article. There has been a lot of confusion and dismay regarding the availability of printers this school year, and it’s about time that reality got its spotlight. Blasting through the loudspeakers during the first week of school came the words, “Printers will no longer be available for student use in the library.” The apparent message: students are no longer able to print work at the library. However, such is not the case; printing is still readily available to all students in the library, and there is no plan for that to change. What has changed, as the announcement tech-

nically said, is the availability of printers. Due to the high cost of printer ink cartridges and the wide array of printer types in use at IHS, Principal Jarett Powers made the decision to stop funding printer ink and to switch all printing to copiers. As Powers explained, copier ink (toner) is far less expensive than printer ink is, and there is much less variety in toner for copiers than printers. As there are many types of printers that accept different cartridges, buying ink for one department’s printer may not be helpful to the rest of the school. By switching to copiers, which have less awkward variation, toner can be bought in large quantities without the fear of incompatibility with the school’s other machines.

This likely comes as good news to many students, who will still be able to print at IHS. Despite the confusion surrounding the shift, many students who understand the actual situation support the change. Students who need to print with a printer for a specific class, such as Design for Development and Production (DDP), will be able to do so upon request. This way, the school saves a substantial amount of time and money. While there is still ink at the school, its time is limited, as there will not be much more being purchased. In order to use an ink printer, students must speak to a librarian and explain their situation. For the most part, printers are a no, but printing is a yes.

October 7, 2013

OPINION

Editorial Democracy Kills (So Vote) If you’re like most Americans, you’re proud of our democracy. You’re proud that we have a fundamental, if indirect, say in what laws get made, even if you don’t necessarily like the current iteration of the system. Perhaps part of your current distaste is because of fond memories of old: you think about the good old days when politicians were honest, the people you liked were in power, and everyone knew how to make a good old compromise. (Spoiler alert: while today’s Congress is particularly bad, it’s never been all that great.) Yet democracy is not a system without its costs—big ones—and, at the same time, many voters have become so disillusioned with the entire system that they don’t even go to the polls. This state of affairs is entirely unacceptable. People are dying for democracy. Not soldiers fighting in the Middle East against people who have nowhere near enough resources to be a real threat to us, but American civilians whose deaths are attributable to the odd workings of a system where people are allowed to influence policy regardless of how qualified they are. People die of lung-related ailments every year because we have old coal power plants instead of nuclear ones, even though nuclear power is orders of magnitude better at not killing people for every watt produced. But the voters are scared of nuclear power, and so are our lawmakers. People get accidentally shot by their family members because those family members insist on having a gun around the house with which to shoot burglars. (These shootings far outnumber shot burglars, by the way.) But the voters want guns, and so the lawmakers let them shoot their family members. People are killed every year because someone was driving an SUV instead of a regular car; even people inside an SUV are less safe, since, though their

behemoths are effective during a crash at slightly reducing the risk to their passengers in exchange for making things much worse for other drivers, SUVs are much more susceptible to common rollover accidents. “Women love their SUVs . . . because of their safety,” said Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski in 2002, justifying her vote against imposing fuel economy standards on SUVs. Think about that: you live in a country where people are killed—because they were crashed into by something that weighed twice as much as their own car, because their SUV rolled over, or because of increased emission of pollutants due to SUVs—for something that gives people an irrational sense of safety. But voters want killing machines to feel safe and manly, so why shouldn’t lawmakers scratch their fuel efficiency requirements? (There are many less immediately pernicious consequences of listening to voters—denial of climate change and evolution and the insertion of creationism into science classrooms all figure prominently. Continued on Page 3. The Tattler is the student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. It was founded in 1892 and is published monthly.

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October 7, 2013

OPINION IMAGE: MIKE HALL

Democracy Kills Continued from Page 2. It’s hard to believe that 58 percent of Republicans in Congress sincerely believe that human-caused climate change is a lie, yet that’s how they vote.) You don’t have to think that every example given above is a slam-dunk victory for one side or the other: just appreciate that there are literally people dying in this country because we let people vote and we listen to them when they do. That fact, in and of itself, shouldn’t be enough to paralyze you: our actions will always have consequences, and in a nation of 310 million people, there’s going to be someone who gets hurt by pretty much anything we do. And there are plenty of SUV owners who genuinely need to move lots of stuff—even eco-friendly Ithaca has its share of soccer moms—and it’s unreasonable to suggest a draconian crackdown on their ability to schlep sports equipVoting is still important, so why do so few people do it? ment. But what about the people who ride in them to feel safe? What about the people who use confusing American system that is the electoral college: them to inflate their own feelings of manliness? Are those even swing state voter turnout peaked at 75 percent in things we should be willing to kill for? the 2012 General Election, and off-year Congressional America—as one of Earth’s many liberal democra- elections routinely see drops in voter turnout by 10 to 15 cies—does something incredibly strange for its people: it percentage points compared to ones that coincide with says that what they think is more important than what’s the General Election. In addition, even local elections do true. This is an extraordinary concession, and it’s part of not have significantly higher turnout rates. It’s not true what makes America’s rampant voter apathy so alarming. that (especially as, say, a New York Democrat) your vote Many people don’t care to learn about candidates—lo- has incredible bearing on the result of the election. But cal, statewide, or national—and many of them don’t even if you won’t vote because you think the system is broken, bother voting. Voter turnout has generally been declin- then congratulations. You’re one of many problems. None ing since 1960, and has not topped 65 percent in the past of them will get solved if everyone’s too busy complaining century. about how no one else will do anything to fix what everyYou can’t even argue that this is solely a result of the one has the power to change. Most of you reading this are of voting age, or will soon be. Perhaps there’s some twisted humor to civilians literally dying in the name of the rights of others—or even of themselves—that aren’t even exercised. Democracy kills, but it doesn’t have to. It’s your responsibility to, within reason, stop people from dying, because your own opinions matter, even if they’re misinformed. Get educated. Visit PolitiFact or other nonpartisan sites to get your facts; pretty much all American TV news is a partisan joke. Talk to your friends and family. Find some people whom you respect and who respect you, but have different opinions. Vote. As long as you live in a country whose policies are shaped by what its residents want, you should be ashamed not to.

October 7, 2013

NEWS

News

The Common Core: Part Two By REX LEI

In the past, businesses and colleges have remarked that too many students are not “college- and career-ready.” Originally, different states had different ranges of standards and rigor, leading to great differences in the educational opportunities available to students in different regions. Too often, students were learning assorted facts instead of having a basis of knowledge. To combat this, the Department of Education drafted and passed the Common Core Initiative, a set of national standards designed to provide a framework for instruction. The Common Core stresses the integration of skills and ideas between classes. In the past, a student may have written an essay in English, done calculations in Mathematics, memorized vocabulary for a foreign language, and made an oral presentation in Science. Under the Common Core, the student would be making presentations in all classes for a few weeks, or writing essays for a few weeks, etc. Classes focus on one skill at a time, regardless of the subject. This way, students learn to apply the same skills in varying contexts, improving their knowledge base and versatility. Welcome to Part Two. Since the Common Core article in the June issue of The Tattler (accessible at www.ihstattler.com), changes have been made to school curricula. Perhaps the most significant change has been the drop in state test scores. In April 2013, middle school students were among the first to take revised, Common Core–based tests in New York. Under the new standards, only 40 to 50 percent of ICSD students were proficient in the mathematics and English Language Art (ELA) exams. While these scores are 10 to 21 percentage points better than the state average,

which was roughly 30 percent, there are emphasize critical thinking in tandem still improvements to be made. with guidelines laid out by the State. “For me, the data is not the story,” Teachers are evaluated by their “growth Matthew Landahl, the district’s chief score,” a summary of the test scores of elementary officer, said. “The real thing their students before and after taking that we try to focus on is trying to en- the course. In addition, building/degage all of our students and have them partment leadership is partly responsiexcited to be learning in school and be- ble for facilitating the transition. ing lifelong learners.” The greatest fear, of course, is that stuPart of this drop in test scores can be dents who fall behind will have extreme attributed to the difference in question difficulties catching up. Especially with type between the old and new exams. higher standards that a majority of chilWhile old exams mainly offered ques- dren are struggling with, those who had tions that required the extraction of a difficulties before will get no break. And single detail from context, the new ex- students who cannot catch up quickly ams asked deeper questions regarding risk being behind the students of their overall content, authors’ messages, etc. grade level until and after graduation, a In addition, teachers did not have ac- frightening thought. Furthermore, it is cess to testing materials before the tests, the school’s responsibility to get special making preparing difficult. help if students cannot catch up on their As of September 25, NY had not own, which may lead to more budget released specific testing scores. While cuts. students received their overall scores, It may be more than half a decade they did not receive information as to before the Common Core is fully inwhich specific questions they got right tegrated into our educational system, and wrong, preventing teachers from but Trumble has expressed hopes that, seeing specifically where their students when the smoke clears, the higher stanhad trouble. dards brought by the Common Core For IHS, the implementation of the will result in our society functioning Common Core is much slower than for at a higher level. Perhaps these changes the middle schools; it is on a year-by- can help us deal with problems like low year basis. The changes associated with voter turnout and a lack of college- and the Common Core mainly focus on career-readiness. younger students; nevertheless, the high “Helping students build upon knowlschool will integrate science courses in edge is what we try to do every day,” one year and social studies courses in Trumble said. the next. “The challenge for us is to try to For more information, including a combring as many disciplines in line with plete list and explanation of the Common the Common Core as we can,” said Ja- Core’s values and a schedule of its impleson Trumble, ICSD Chief Secondary mentation, visit www.engageny.com. Officer. To integrate a course with the Common Core, October 7: Early release day teachers must October 10: Open house re-evaluate and October 18: Homecoming, Spirit Week adjust previous course content to

Important School Dates

October 7, 2013

NEWS

New Online AP Course Offerings Every year, countless IHS students must deal with scheduling issues. Especially in many cases of classes with fewer sections, students must pick and choose which class is more important and which one should be dropped. This year, a few Advanced Placement (AP) courses had unresolvable conflicts. AP Computer Science conflicted with AP Physics C, breaking a common combination. AP language courses typically cannot satisfy everyone’s schedule, due to the wide variety of electives and courses required for graduation that upperclassmen take. Most students who were forced to drop an AP course dropped one of these classes. In response, IHS is offering the above AP courses online. As part of the district’s general push towards using technology, IHS and the district have partnered together to cover the costs for these online courses. Aventa, the provider of the coursework, is a College Board–certified provider of online AP courses, meaning that its courses are theoret-

ically comparable and as rigorous as an ordinary AP course in a classroom setting. “Dr. Brown has stated as a goal for the district that students take at least one course online prior to graduation, and this is a way to begin to think about how we might be able to expand our course offerings to do so,” said Janet Abowd, an IHS associate principal. Students taking AP courses online through Aventa complete assignments, homework, and exams throughout the year. While the online courses have flexible schedules that allow students to choose when class begins and ends, they must take the AP exam with other IHS students. At the end of the year, Aventa provides them with grades that are added to their transcripts. Language classes must also incorporate a speaking component to comply with AP standards. This is the pilot year for online courses at IHS. The students chosen for the pilot were ones who were forced to drop an AP class for another; students who did not have this conflict may not sign up to take online

IMAGE: PROVIDED

By REX LEI

With online courses, more people will be able to take more APs.

AP courses this year. IHS hopes to evaluate the effectiveness of these courses at the end of the year to see if they should be continued. If these classes are successful, online courses may help ease the burden of scheduling issues. Students, teachers, and administrators alike are anxious to see the results of these online courses. “We are committed to taking advantage of technology to prepare students for life in the twenty-first century,” said Abowd.

National Merit Semifinalists

Other New Courses

Alexander Babiak ’14, Phoebe Lakin ’14, Rex Lei ’14, Jensen Lo ’14, Devon Loehr ’14, Emily Sharp-O’Connor ’14, Connor Simpson ’14, Julia Wang ’14, and Aryeh Zax ’14 have been named National Merit Semifinalists. These nine IHS seniors have been honored for their academic abilities, potential for success, and PSAT scores. Approximately 16,000 students nationwide who received this honor are competing for a combined total of $35 million in scholarships through the National Merit Scholarship Corporation. LACS student Edward Lauber also qualified.

In addition to the new AP courses offered online (see above article), IHS has added interesting new courses this year. It is reintroducing a Driver’s Ed course, which was cancelled many years ago for budgeting reasons. Superintendent Luvelle Brown is loaning his car for the class. Students who take the course also take a driver’s test. As with any other Driver’s Ed course, students enrolled in the program who obtain their licenses receive discounts on insurance. Other new electives include Digital Media, Dance, and Oceanography.

October 7, 2013

NEWS

Board of Education: Fine Arts Thrive, a New Web Site, and Ithaca Finally Beats Vestal By ARYEH ZAX

The Democratic primary for Tompkins County Judge was held on September 10, 2013. Candidate Joseph Cassidy won the nomination with 1501 votes, representing 39.8 percent of the popular vote. ICSD BoE member Seth Peacock came in third, with 750 votes and 19.9 percent of the vote, behind Pamela Bleiwas and ahead of Kelly Damm. Voter turnout was roughly 10 percent of eligible voters, and one-third of registered voters. The General Election will be on November 5; voters must register by October 11. IMAGE: PROVIDED

The ICSD Board of Education (BoE) held a bimonthly meeting on September 24. At LACS, Diane Carruthers has replaced Joe Greenberg, who announced that he would be leaving the school towards the end of last year. LACS is preparing for its annual two-day retreat to nearby Arnot Forest, which will cost $1,500 more this year than usual. There’s some discussion as to how to reduce costs in general at the school. The school year has just started at IHS. Students have taken Student Learning Objectives (SLOs), new tests (as of last year) that are used to chart their progress from the beginning to the end of the year. Most importantly, the IHS boys’ soccer team beat Vestal 3–1, winning for the first time in twenty-seven years against Vestal at home. New SMART Boards (or their kin) have been given to many teachers across the school. In addition, all IHS teachers now have signs outside their rooms to encourage students to read more. Auditions are now over for the one-act fall play, Rumors. The district launched a new web site, www.ithacacityschools.org, with the aim of being more user-friendly and providing key district information in a way that is easy to navigate and understand. The web site is friendly to all devices, features an easy-to-use, reliable internal search, and has a staff directory. An integrated ICSD event calendar can be found at www.ithacacity.tandemcal.com, where users can filter content by school or group. The web site also features lots of pictures of Superintendent Luvelle Brown smiling with children. David Brown gave an extended report on the state of the performing arts at ICSD. He has been the district’s Fine Arts Director since last September, and has been busy: Kulp Auditorium is being used more than ever; students are directing one-act plays for the second year in a row; a dozen new art and music teachers have been taken in from around the country; and Brown has been pushing for dancing options in physical education curricula throughout the district. In addition, AP Music Theory and AP Art History were introduced this year at IHS. There are currently no prerequisites, but the district will revisit the question— perhaps adding introductory-level or middle school classes—when data on student performance is available. The full content of David Brown’s presentation can be found in the BoE’s Dropbox.

Tompkins County Judge Democratic Primary Results

Joseph Cassidy ran for and won the Democratic nomination for Tompkins County Judge. ICSD BoE member Seth Peacock also ran.

Caroline Elementary Temporary Closure ICSD’s Caroline Elementary School, located in Slaterville Springs, was closed for the day on September 27, due to a lack of “available water for the building.”

October 7, 2013

OPINION

Opinion

From the Head of Ned: Final Exams: Raising the Playing Field IMAGE: VINCENT KESSLER

However, I believe that they can be designed in such a way as to increase the quality of education as a whole. Many people believe that if the state mandates something, it cannot be good. Especially at LACS, there is a belief that if something comes from a higher power and is done in other school districts, we should not do it. But this is a flawed way of thinking. Standardized curricula level the playing field, and good ones raise it. Of course, if the curriculum is bad, then this lowers the quality of education, but if the curriculum is good, then this ensures that everyone will learn the same essential material. All of this being said, I actually don’t believe that tests are a good assessment of students. Having one Is putting students in a room for a few hours at the end of the year enough to see if they’ve learned? three-hour-long final that makes up 20 percent of a student’s grade is simply a ridiculous way to asBy NED LAUBER sess the student. Anything from a lack of sleep the night before to a family incident that worries the student during the test could I am a student at Lehman Alternative Community School detract from the student’s score. Additionally, many students un(LACS). But that might as well stand for the League Against derstand material fairly well and still do not perform perfectly Conformity and Standardization, considering how vehemently it on tests. These finals should be used only to place students into opposes standardized testing in its many forms. In particular, we three categories: not proficient, proficient, and very proficient. have always particularly hated Regents exams, claiming that they Anything more specific than this is a poor way to assess students. focus too much on breadth over depth, add unnecessary stress to So, it is my belief that almost every class should culminate in students and teachers, force teachers to cover areas outside their a well-designed final exam. This exam would help to assess what realms of expertise, and are generally a poor assessment of stu- students learned throughout the year, but more importantly, it dent knowledge. While I’d agree with all of these points, I’d still would give the teacher a standard curriculum to teach throughargue that, if done well, Regents exams could be used effectively out the year. to maintain quality education. Before I close, I’d like to talk about one class that makes me The reason for this is very simple: standardized final exams question such a belief. Facing History and Ourselves is an exprovide a source of accountability for every teacher. If Ms. Smith ceptional double-period English–Social Studies class taught at fails to cover the required material, her students will do poorly LACS. I won’t go into details here, but I believe that this class on the test, and this will trigger an immediate red flag for her and would be ruined if the teacher had to prepare students for a final her administrators. She will know that she did poorly, and so will exam. the school. Next year, she can try to compensate for her mistakes. So what is the solution? The ideal system is this: First of all, Does this mean that she should be let go if her students score some authoritative body consults with numerous experts and poorly on the final exam year after year after year? Maybe not. A designs a final exam for every core class: Biology, Chemistry, Alnumber of factors must be taken into consideration. However, gebra, Geometry, English, Global Studies, United States History, if her students are consistently failing the final exam, then this etc. Teachers are told what will be covered on this test, and at is a very good indicator that something should be done. I’m not the end of the year, students will take the exam. The exam will suggesting that final exams should be the sole measurement of be graded simply: not proficient, proficient, or very proficient. a teacher’s ability. There are countless skills that standardized Teachers who prove through years of teaching that they are comtests will never be able to assess. However, having a well-de- petent and even exemplary are allowed to begin teaching classsigned, standardized final exam for each subject would ensure es with no standardized final, designing a curriculum that they that teachers are, at the very least, covering the material they are have complete control over. This system keeps teachers accountsupposed to be covering. able until they are able to prove that they can teach well without Of course, the key to the success of this system is that the final the skeleton of a curriculum provided to them. be well-designed. As of now, I don’t have enough experience with As my mom once told me, “Teaching to the test ain’t such a the Regents exams to say whether they are quality assessments. bad thing, so long as the test is a decent test.”

October 7, 2013

OPINION

IMAGE: BRIAN NEEDELS

How to Survive Winter in Ithaca

Stewart Park in the winter—a sad, desolate place.

By SANDRA STROMSWALD

IMAGE: PROVIDED

Ithaca gets cold in winter. I may sound blunt, but people coming up from the sunshine and fairy dust year-round down in the South might have missed the notice. Up here by the Finger Lakes, we have to suffer through these upcoming cold months. Not to mention that, since our superintendent, Dr. Brown, always refuses to call a snow day (doesn’t he ever just decide he could use a day off?), bundling yourself in covers and hiding in your room won’t cut it on school days. I’ve lived in winter climates longer than the Grinch, so I’ve figured this whole “winter survival” thing out. To start off, let’s discuss the basics of home survival. Unless your parents are really lenient with heating, you’ll be shivering in your room pretty much 24/7. Solution: keep blankets in every room of the house and bundle yourself up like you’re a cross between an Ancient Greek and a welldraped hobo. When you get up in the morning, just bring the covers with you—you know you’re not getting out at all otherwise. Now comes that time in the morning when all you ignorant California sunshine butterflies have to shed your blanket cocoons and walk out to the bus stop. Solution 1: Nag your parents into driving the fifteen yards to the end of the driveway, then wait in the car with the heat on full blast until the bus comes. Solution 2: Go into your attic and find that giant polar pear pelt rug—the one that your creepy taxidermist uncle gave your family for Christmas last year—and get out a needle and thread, because you’re going to start fashioning your very first Eskimo overcoat. If you failed home economics twice and look like Luke Skywalker when Han Solo shoved him into the stomach of that Tauntaun creature when you wear it, don’t sweat it. This is survival we’re talking about, not Vogue. Wear it to school with pride and keep it on all day; the bulk of the fur proba-

bly won’t fit in your locker, but the heat is never turned up high enough in classrooms anyway. As of late, winter in Ithaca has been unpleasant, but we haven’t had too much snow overhead or constant blizzards. “Well good. Then I can put down this article and go back to Facebook.” Wrong—I’m not done yet. We haven’t had any blizzards recently, but who says this year won’t be the year? Imagine a situation in which it’s so cold that the pipes freeze, winds tear down the power lines, and snow totally fills the streets. Dr. Brown won’t even be able to get across his driveway because herds of reindeer are stampeding across his lawn. Nature’s left you limited to whatever is in your house, and hypothermia and starvation seem imminent. To survive, you need to start stocking up with canned foods now. Your zombie apocalypse supply will do just fine, but extras won’t hurt. Second, find absolutely everything flammable, and from those items, make a list of what you’re willing to burn for a temporary source of heat. With that list, rearrange everything so that what you want least is at the top. My list looks something like this: 1. Lab notes; 2. Year books that have a bad picture of me (a.k.a., all of them); 3. My brother’s Nirvana CDs (I’m crossing my fingers that they’ll actually burn), and so on and so forth. I know it’s hard to even fathom your valuables going up in flames, but as long as you put your more precious items in the ten or eleven thousands, you need not worry. Obviously, in addition to the steps above, buy some hats and mittens or whatever and remember that, in a few years, global warming will take care of this whole winter problem. Follow my advice and you’ll survive these next few months, easy. Unless you want to move, it’s a relatively sane option.

Legend says there is still a Model T making its way across this one.

October 7, 2013

OPINION IMAGE: PROVIDED

There’s a little bit more to the IHS dress code, and not everyone is a fan.

Say Yes to the Dress Code By SCOTT WILLIAMS

IHS enforces a strict dress code based on keeping its students safe, orderly, and focused. This ideal of promoting a safe environment makes a lot of sense to a lot of people, but for some, the dress code quickly becomes problematic. As teens, many of us are going through a period of expressing extreme individuality. As you can imagine, any sort of restriction or rule that impedes this expression is not widely accepted. Everyone hates not being able to express himself or herself, but when it comes to protecting the school’s population, the dress code is the necessary evil we all must face. I am willing to sacrifice a small part of my expressiveness for the sake of everyone. When push comes to shove, are you really willing to make others uncomfortable just because you want to dress inappropriately at school? Now if you are anything like me, you may have originally thought that the dress code only applies to girls wearing short shorts or spaghetti straps, but in fact, the dress code also covers things like shirts plastered with lewd or offensive phrases. Guys out there: you could be just as affected by the dress code as anyone else.

Are you thinking about wearing that new muscle shirt you got at the mall to school? Think again! The IHS handbook states that a shirt qualifies as a muscle shirt if it has “no sleeves and the clothing on the shoulders does not show on either side of the student’s two fingers when laid flat on the shoulder.” And if it’s a muscle shirt, you can’t wear it in school. While not necessarily offensive, you may understand how a shirt such as that could quickly become distracting. I, for one, am grateful for the dress code. Without it, one can only guess at the kind of things students would be wearing. As it is, some clothes still slip through the cracks. Walking down the hallway, you may notice shirts that advocate things such as drugs, sex, and violence. If there were no dress code whatsoever, things could only be worse. It’s always important to keep in mind that it’s not ICSD administrative staff ’s goal to make the lives of students miserable. The staff instituted the dress code because they truly believed it would be best for students. In fact, our district is perceived as one of the most progressive and forward-thinking districts in the State. If the district decided to infringe on our expressiveness, it must

have had a good reason for it. When the well-being of the whole student body is at risk, it seems only natural to sacrifice the individuality of a few to benefit everyone else. In order to preserve a welcoming school environment, we must ensure that everyone feels safe and comfortable at school.

October 7, 2013

OPINION

Being a Republican in Ithaca By SHILOH BEAN

Being a Republican in Ithaca is probably a lot like being a Democrat in Texas. I find the experience rather helpful, and yes, even enjoyable. This comes from the fact that, as a Republican in a place so obviously skewed to the radical left, you face scrutiny of and opposition to your views at every turn. This forces Republicans like me to not just know the positions of our party and its leaders, but actually understand the conservative ideology that is behind those positions. Democrats in Ithaca don’t have this problem, as they don’t face the same kind of opposition and scrutiny and are not forced to actually understand the liberal ideology behind the positions taken by their own party and its leaders. This causes many Ithaca Democrats to become loyal simply to their party or even to a particular candidate. Many Ithacans do not actually understand the policies that they so vehemently support: they simply support them because the majority of people around them do. Now, some Ithaca Democrats go a little bit further; they watch the news. This is almost no different, as the media also has a fairly strong liberal bias. It is essentially doing the same thing in just repeating what true liberals who do understand these policies are saying. This causes Ithaca Democrats to believe that they know what they’re talking about. When they actually do run into one of those rare Ithaca conservatives who can present a logical counterargument, they break down and often end up yelling, getting red in the face, and resorting to insults and hate speech because they don’t have any true liberals whispering in their ears telling them what to say. While

I’m sure this happens with many Texas conservatives, rarely will this happen with an Ithaca conservative. Simply because we face arguments against our points and beliefs every day, we actually know why we believe what we believe. The truly scary part is when this type of Ithaca liberal thinking is not just part of students, but of teachers. I have personally witnessed several wonderful IHS teachers simply relay the points of the liberal media without being able to explain the ideology that goes into those points. This obviously just adds to the problem, because many liberal students will take their teachers’ words as gospel, just as they do with the media’s, and they will never learn about the fundamental ideology that goes into those positions. This results in a relatively uninformed population. When it comes down to it, Ithaca Republicans are forced to be true conservatives, while Ithaca Democrats don’t actually have to be true liberals to get by. The truth is, there are probably just as many true conservatives as there are true liberals in Ithaca, and to those of you who are true to the ideology on both sides of the political spectrum, and not just to the parties or candidates, I salute you. God bless you all, and God bless America. I couldn’t leave without adding this: if you blame the decline of America on gun owners, Christians, Tea Partiers, home-schooling, meat-eaters, rednecks, veterans, or hunters, congratulations! You are what is wrong with this country. Sincerely, Shiloh Bean Your friendly neighborhood conservative IMAGE: PROVIDED

Ithaca Republicans tend to be unfairly scrutinized.

The Powers That Be IMAGE: PROVIDED

EK: Do you have a least favorite part of your job? JP: Suspending kids. I derive no joy from suspension. When you have broken the rules to a point where you can’t even be here and the only consequence left is suspension, that defeats the purpose of your education. I do not enjoy that. EK: How has your return to teaching been so far? (Mr. Powers teaches a US history class this year.) JP: Teaching is fun; it’s one of the best parts of the day. For forty-five minutes, you get to just be with kids and help them discover the history of the country.

Despite having the appearance of a big teddy bear, Mr. Powers approaches his work with a tenacity usually reserved for gladiators and bear wrestlers.

By ELIE KIRSHNER

I got the chance to sit down with Principal Powers to talk about his role as a principal, the state of IHS, and what it’s like being one of the busiest people on earth. Elie Kirshner ’14: What is your favorite part about being a principal? Jarett Powers: Every day is different, and because every day is different, you get to work on unique challenges and find new ways to make things work for more kids. I get to work with a fantastic group of teachers, administrators, and kids. EK: What is your greatest achievement? JP: It’s not my personal achievement, but I think over the last couple years, this high school has really begun to look at kids’ performance rates and make sure all kids have a genuine opportunity to succeed. And as attendance and achievement rates go up and the discipline rate goes down, we as a school are beginning to turn a corner in what a high school education should be for kids.

EK: How is your degree going? JP: It’s going well. I am finishing my third master’s degree. I will graduate in December with a degree in school business—so, building budgets and managing personnel. It’s a lot of hands-on stuff. EK: What are those other two degrees for? JP: The first is in geography, and the second is in school administration, which is more about school operation. EK: What is the greatest challenge facing IHS? JP: Trying to remain current enough so that our students can be competitive enough in the larger world—making sure our curriculum puts kids in the position so that when they graduate, they will be able to do whatever they like. This is sometimes challenged by state

regulations, which take away time and effort that could be spent on the creativity needed to keep moving forward as a school. EK: If you could convey one message to IHS students, what would it be? JP: In all you do, do your best, and you will meet with success. EK: Could you give us a glimpse of one of your famous “Mr. Powers stories”? JP: A chicken, the Secret Service, pneumonia, the flu, and a dog named Green Bean. Mr. Powers Fast Facts: Birthplace: Long Island Favorite band/song: Beyonce / “Irreplaceable” Favorite film: Mr. Smith Goes to Washington Favorite sport: Baseball Favorite food: Italian Favorite book: Why Geography Matters Original college major: Women’s studies at Mt. Vernon Seminary for Women

October 7, 2013

Guidance from the Guidance Office IMAGE: NAOMI POWERS

By ALEKSA BASARA

The guidance office performs one of the most essential tasks in the school: making sure students get their schedules. I sat down with Sharon Gublo, one of the guidance counselors, to get a glimpse of who these staff members really are. Aleksa Basara ’14: What do you do in your free time? Sharon Gublo: In my free time, I like to exercise—I’m currently doing the Insanity workout series. I also like to run with my chocolate lab, Ruby. I like to read—I’m particularly fond of nonfiction, but I read fiction once in a while for fun. I like to go kayaking, hiking, and skiing. I also like to travel, especially to see my three sons, where we can enjoy these outdoor activities. AB: What is your favorite restaurant? Any particular reason? SG: My favorite restaurant overall is the restaurant at the Biltmore Inn in Asheville, NC. Its cuisine is very unusual but extremely tasty. I’m a vegetarian, and it always has something I can eat. Locally, I really like the Thai and Indian restaurants. AB: If you had to pick up a new hobby, what would it be? SG: I would like to learn how to draw and paint. I took art in high school and college, but didn’t think I was very good at it. I’d like to see if I can actually become a decent artist. AB: If you were a student at IHS right now, which clubs would you be a part of? SG: If I were in high school, I would want to become involved with Ski Club, A Cappella Club and/or Choir, Strong Women Impacting Society (SWIS), Invisible Children, Green Team, or Love Knows No Bounds. AB: Given the opportunity to go to another country for a year, where would you go? SG: If I were to go to another country for a year, I would want to go to Scotland, to the Isle of Iona. The Iona Community is

AB: Describe your ideal day. SG: My ideal day would be doing something outdoors with my sons, such as hiking, kayaking, or skiing, and then cooking a fabulous dinner together. After dinner, we would break out the instruments and sing!

Sharon Gublo, guidance counselor and therefore part-time superhero.

located on the Isle, and I would want to work there for a year. It works for peace and justice throughout the world, and I would love to be a part of this community. AB: What is one thing that people probably don’t know about you? (And that you’d be willing to share!) SG: One thing that people might not know about me is that I was a bank accountant and auditor in Atlantic City, NJ before I became a school counselor. I didn’t like the fast pace of the business field and really wanted to work in a job where I could help others. AB: Have you seen any good movies lately? Could you make some recommendations? SG: I haven’t seen any movies lately. The last movie I remember really liking was The Help. It was set in a time when I was little and it brought back some memories of that time. I think it is a great movie to help build awareness of the inequality and lack of compassion that was happening in the 1960s. We still could learn more from movies like this. AB: If you could meet anyone, who would it be? SG: If I could meet anyone, I think it would be the Dalai Lama. He has a lot of wisdom and exudes love and peacefulness. His messages are pertinent to everyone.

AB: When and why did you come to Ithaca? SG: I actually don’t live in Ithaca—I live in Elmira. I came to Ithaca to work at the high school in 2003. We never moved here because my husband was still working in Elmira, and he also was a local politician, so we had to stay in the area. But I like to come to Ithaca for the restaurants and shopping, and I have wonderful friends here. AB: What is your fondest memory of when you went to high school? SG: My fondest memory from high school was taking a challenging twelfth grade English Seminar class. This class met every other day, and on the days we didn’t meet, we were permitted to go to the local college library to do research. We were required to write four major papers throughout the year, and I believe this experience helped me write better papers when I was in college. After our papers were written, we critiqued them as a group. It was a wonderful academic experience. AB: What made you want to be a guidance counselor? SG: I became a school counselor because I wanted to work with high school students, helping them to be successful in school and guiding them to college or work. I like helping students solve problems and reach their potential. It’s exciting to help students work to achieve their goals.

October 7, 2013

Restaurant Review: Ithaca Beer Company IMAGE: ITHACA BEER COMPANY

By TESSA PARRISH and MANDY KLABEN

Though the name may suggest alcoholic beverages, the Ithaca Beer Company is not primarily a bar. Driving up the driveway at 122 Ithaca Beer Drive to the Company, also known as the Brewery, you are confronted with a large building that resembles a warehouse, situated next to a field of some type of wheat grass. There are two gigantic silos that hold many of the different flavored beers the Company produces, as well as root beer and ginger beer. Once inside the restaurant, your eyes gravitate towards the bar, which is quite distinctive in that it is covered in Ithaca Beer Company bottle caps. There is the option of sitting inside or out on the patio, and though the inside was very well-decorated, we chose to sit outside, where there is an unobstructed view of the fields and surrounding countryside. We were seated quickly, and ordered drinks: a ginger beer and a root beer. Before coming to the Brewery, many people had recommended the Taproom burgers and the wood-fired pizzas. After viewing the menu, Mandy decided to order a BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich made with pork from the Piggery and served on a roll from the Ithaca Bakery, for $10, with a side of French fries. Tessa settled on a Taproom Burger with NYS cheddar and bacon, of course, made with local grassfed beef and also served on an Ithaca Bakery roll, for $14. Under the “Full Plates” section of the menu, there was also the option of a Vegan Brew Burger ($8), a Greek Salad ($10), or a Chef Salad ($10). A variety of soups ($4 for a cup, $6 for a bowl) and pizzas cooked in the wood oven ($10 with additional toppings for one or two extra dollars) were also available. After placing our orders, we took a closer look at the surroundings of the restaurant. There was a fire pit, garden, bocce ball court,

A building with great views and great food inside.

and art made of recycled wine bottles. We noticed some cables strung high above our heads, which the waitress explained are there to grow hops on, which is an herb used in creating the flavor of beer. In terms of seating, there were many tables set up for four people, and also some picnic tables for larger parties. This whole arrangement was tied together with slabs of stone underfoot and around the fire pit, which created a very clean and finished look. Around fifteen minutes later, our food came and we got to work. We both found our meals to be very tasty: the meat was well-cooked and well-flavored, the fries had just the right amount of grease on them and were cooked to perfection, and the ketchup had a unique flavor. Our server checked in on us often, and made sure we were content with everything. All in all, our experience at Ithaca Beer Company was completely enjoyable. Even for underage customers, the Company delivers delicious food, wonderful drinks, and a beautiful setting at reasonable prices. We highly recommend making the trip out for lunch or dinner. Our rating: 9/10 stars.

Through Freshmen Eyes By ALYSSA PAULO and RUTH SAMUELS

High school: those four years we’ve all been thinking about since kindergarten. We knew that infinite possibilities were contained within these brick walls. On the first day, we received a warm welcome from all of the Link Leaders and met with our fellow freshmen. But on the second day, we were thrown into the shark tank; the upperclassmen had arrived, and we had to face it all on our own. Although we tried our best not to look like your typical confused freshmen, we couldn’t help but feel like lost lambs in a pack of lions. The high school is just so monumentally big compared to the middle schools. Wandering from class to class without making ourselves look like total fools proved to be a challenge. Often we would see that we were, in fact, going in the completely wrong direction and attempted to turn casually back around while whistling nonchalantly. Moving through the halls and seeing all the matured faces of our peers, we felt as if each pair of eyes saw us

as tiny children, especially when these peers were upperclassmen with full-grown beards! Eighth grade is definitely over. We are now at the bottom of the food chain again. Of course, we knew high school wouldn’t be a walk in the park, but soon the realization dawned on us that middle school was just the opening act; high school is the real deal. It only adds more pressure that every single thing you do will show up on your college resume. After the first week, we’ve decided that high school is not the horror story you hear so much about. Mean Girls and shows like Awkward paint a much different picture of high school life than the reality. Nerds aren’t getting shoved in lockers, mean cheerleaders don’t run the school, and no hunky junior rocking sunglasses has come to my window late at night blasting 80s love songs from a boombox . . . yet. After going to our first football game, signing up for clubs, and eating in the Quad, we can honestly say that we love high school so far. We have high hopes for every experience that the next four years will have to offer.

October 7, 2013

Fall Playlist IMAGE: PROVIDED

By NAOMI POWERS

If you haven’t noticed the sudden proliferation of pumpkin spice everything and college guys in thrifted sweaters, then here’s your official announcement: it’s fall! The time of year for jumping in leaves, hot chai, ankle boots, and tripping on the sidewalk in ankle boots. And, of course, your cinnamon-scented fall playlist! 1. “Tiderays”: Volcano Choir As a collaboration between Justin Vernon and former Collections of Colonies of Bees members, Wisconsin-based Volcano Choir preserves the wispy falsetto and slurred lyrics of Bon Iver while adding the backing of a full band. It’s as if Vernon got lonely in his life of laptop recording sessions (and speculative hobbies such as amateur maple syrup tapper and beard connoisseur) and invited some friends over to muse on lost love over a few mugs of Celestial Seasonings. The more the merrier. 2. “59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)”: Simon and Garfunkel This song is the quaintest, most–skipping-down-the-sidewalk song you will ever hear. Guaranteed. Cheerful Simon and Garfunkel can cure all sorts of blues. 3. “She’s a Jar”: Wilco Classic 90s Wilco! Prepare yourself for one serious slurred pop ballad. Warped, bubbled guitar backs up lead singer Tweedy’s drowsy lyrics (“Are there really ones like these? / The ones I dream / Float like leaves . . .”). 4. “Sweater Weather”: The Neighborhood An open letter to The Neighborhood: We love you dearly, but did you need to release this song in April? I don’t really think you did, and now your song had to make an awkward Imagine Dragons–style rise to relevancy when its lyrics became applicable. No hard feeling though—“Sweater Weather” is perf. You brought the rock, you brought the par-

The Lorde of all music.

tially spoken lyric style, and you brought that dash of folk. We’re going to dance all night to you for it. 5. “Featherstone”: The Paper Kites Guys, remember 2009, when everyone was so obsessed with Where the Wild Things Are? This song is such a throwback! And the video only makes it better; feather crowns, fur leg warmers, fringed vests and all. 6. “Walking Man”: James Taylor Hey everyone, this is your dad / PBR-drinking Uncle Jim / sweater vest– wearing neighbor whose kids you babysit once in a while. You should really listen to James Taylor. His music is so classic Americana. I used to listen to him on my Walkman, harvesting the corn back on the family farm in Illinois. “Walking Man” will put that fresh air back in your lungs. And son, you should really cut down on that “Snapchat” of yours. 7. “I Don’t Know How”: Best Coast As a devoted Best Coast uberfan, I have mixed feelings about this song. It’s awesome that the duo is finally following up to The Only Place, but this song is kind of . . . well . . . country. I loved Best Coast for its hazy, California summers buzz, and in comparison, this song is a little

disappointing. However, I’ve decided to hold out for its next full record. As the old saying goes, “Never judge an album by its single.” 8. “Every Single Night”: Fiona Apple Fiona Apple’s voice is like an ocean. If you even vaguely enjoy Florence and the Machine, this is a slightly less edited option for you. 9. “Biting Down”: Lorde Unlike “Royals” and “The Love Club,” this track hits a much more moody tone, while still showcasing the young New Zealander’s wonderfully low voice. Also, can we just take a moment to appreciate that Lorde is the first woman to reach number one on Billboard’s Alternative Songs Chart in seventeen years? She (as well as most of us) wasn’t even alive the last time this happened. I’m so pumped for her full album. 10. “Shine”: Benjamin Francis Leftwich If you spend half as much time in coffee shops as I do, you’ve potentially heard this song. And I spend an embarrassing amount of time in coffee shops. “Shine” is a sweet, wrapped-in-a-blanket-withyour-friends kind of song; the type of song that deserves to end a crisp, fall night.

October 7, 2013

Ms. Zaryski: The New Choir Teacher By ELLEN SHOCKEY

Ellen Shockey ’14: Have you taught choir before? If so, where, and what was it like? Kristin Zaryski: Yes. I’ve taught choir in many states: New York, Florida, and Michigan. I’ve taught high-school, middle-school, elementary-school, and community/church choir. Really, depending on the age group, it’s been a different experience, but all were really fun. It’s great to be back doing high school choir because it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.

ten to that others would not expect? KZ: That’s an excellent question. For choral music, I don’t fall into one category; I like a lot of things, and I think it’s my duty as an educator to present a lot of different musical styles and genres to students. For me personally, I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t listen to a lot of music! After a day of music-making, I tend to need to decompress a bit. I listen to a lot of NPR. Talk radio seems to be quite soothing for me. If I am, let’s say, on a long car ride, if I need music to listen to, in the autumn I listen to a lot of jazz. Old standards, Big Band jazz. You know, things from the swing era. In the summertime, on long car rides, it’s a lot of musical theater. Roll the windows down, and sing really loudly. And then, if I want something new, I go to my sister. My younger sister has always been interested in exploring new music, so if I need something new, I check in with her. And usually it’s something I enjoy. IMAGE: NAOMI POWERS

After more than twenty years as IHS Choir Director, Arthur Loomis retired last year. While we will miss him in the department, we happily welcome Kristen Zaryski as our new director. I sat down with Ms. Zaryski to find out a little more about her.

and great musical understanding through great repertoire: fun music, things that the students enjoy singing and the audience enjoys listening to. That way, we can grow as a choir and build a community of singers here, and have students grow individually as young musicians as well. ES: How do you like it here so far? What

ES: Why did you apply for the Choral Director position at IHS? KZ: I’m originally from Upstate Ms. Zaryski has big shoes to fill, but looks to create a great program of her own. New York, I have many friends ES: What is a fun or interesting fact and family still living in this area, and were some of your initial impressions? about you? I went to Ithaca College, so I’ve known KZ: I really like it here. My initial impres- KZ: A fun fact? All my facts are kind of Ithaca and loved Ithaca for a very long sion when I first arrived was wonderful. nerdy or quirky I suppose. Well, I have time. It’s a wonderful community, one Actually, I was here last fall to guest con- two sisters. One of them is my twin sister, very supportive of the arts. There are a lot duct at Junior High Area All-State. So I got who’s also a musician and a teacher. And of opportunities for people of all ages to to know some of the music staff and the I can sing the alphabet backwards. And be involved in the arts, so I knew it was a facilities here, and they both impressed juggle. community that, as a person, I would just me. The people here—their warmth, love to live in and be a part of. I had been their kindness, their intelligence—meant ES: I really like the clothes that you wear living in Michigan for a while and teach- I knew this was a great music staff. And to school. If you were a designer, what ing there, but missing home—missing my then, of course, the facilities, being rather would you call your style? roots. So when I heard that this job was new, were quite impressive. And then I got KZ: [Laughs] That’s adorable! What opening up, I got very excited. It was a to know some of the students, and their would I call my style? I would say . . . no-brainer. skill and talent really impressed me, and classic, but not too trendy? I’m afraid of really intrigued me and made me wonder trends. It takes me about a year before I’m ES: What are some of your future plans what it would be like to teach here on a on board with what everybody else is dofor the IHS choir? daily basis. So, once I finally got here and ing. I just finally learned what looks good KZ: Ooh. This is a good question. I’m started teaching, I was most delighted to on me, I suppose, and what I like. What I thrilled to see so many kids already in- find out just how much passion the young would I call my style . . . ? volved in the choir. My hope is to shine people have here for singing and for mua new light on our program so that oth- sic-making. I think that’s going to open ES: Maybe Classic Trendophobia? er people in the school know what we do up a lot of doors for us this year. KZ: Classic Trendophobia! I like that. here, that we exist. My hope is to sing a lot I might have to think about that. Yes— of new repertoire with lots of variety, and ES: What are your personal music prefer- comfortable, professional, trendy, but not to teach. My hope is to teach great singing ences? Is there something you like to lis- New York–Fashion Week trendy.

October 7, 2013

A& IMAGE: PROVIDED

The Spectacular Now: A Review By EMILY SCARPULLA

IMAGE: PROVIDED

The Spectacular Now was one of the greatest dialogue-based movies I’ve ever seen. It was very true to the high school romance experience. Sutter Keely (Miles Teller), a directionless high school senior, is in his element in high school, being the life of every party with a happy-go-lucky attitude about where his life is headed. He lives in the present and has no interest in the future or getting his life together. Once he meets Aimee Finecky (Shaleine Woodley), an invisible yet beautiful geek, he starts to realize that there is more to life than his superficial lifestyle. I know what you’re thinking, this sounds like a sappy teen romance where the girl changes the guy to be a better person: but it’s not that story at all. It’s more real than that. Aimee and Sutter both grow in different ways from their relationship. Aimee becomes less submissive to the harsh criticism from the people around her, while Sutter realizes that he is heading to becoming just like his deadbeat father. This movie was placed around dialogue rather than the usual blockbuster cinematography. Most of the movie is done in single shots with the main characters just talking. I think what makes this movie special is how it doesn’t quite follow what normal archetypes usually do in “these” movies. They react more truthfully in the moment and sound like real teenagers. I don’t want to spoil the ending, but it’s unexpected in a way that is, at first, completely unsatisfying. However, it is exactly how it should be. If you like movies that are just about people and characterization, then this is a good movie for you. Another key litmus test is if you like going to movies at Cinemapolis. This doesn’t have any special effects or anything else someone couldn’t film at home with good lighting. It’s all about the script, and if you’re willing to just listen for an hour and a half about life and—especially important for us students—what lies beyond high school, you need to see this. I give this movie a 9/10, and highly recommend it to girls and guys alike.

Not your everyday high school romance film.

The interstellar Bob Marley.

Wacky Instruments: Extreme Edition By JENSEN LO

Over the years, we’ve profiled many strange instruments, from the world’s smallest violin to the unnatural theremin. In this issue, we’ll take a journey from the largest instruments to the most natural thing that you can imagine. 1. Interstellar space Recently, the spacecraft Voyager 1 experienced its first feeling of interstellar space. Without the bombardment of particles from solar wind, Voyager is flying through something close to a vacuum. Even though it is outside our solar system, the satellite continues to send sounds back to Earth. If you hear the sound from the data that it’s beaming back, it doesn’t sound like anything more than a steadily rising fuzzy pitch, but think about where these sounds come from. They come from the particles launched from distant galaxies and exploding stars. You could say that the music comes from outside this world. 2. Your own body Have you ever gone into a really quiet room and heard your own heart beat? In an anechoic chamber, you can hear even more. Anechoic chambers are designed to absorb as much sound as possible on their walls. The silence is so deafening that you can’t even hear anything reflected off the walls, only the sounds of your own breathing, the blood flowing through your veins, and your muscles moving. People who have spent more than a few minutes in one of these chambers have even reported hallucinations. Most people can’t stay in one of these chambers for longer than a few minutes. It just goes to show that silence really can be maddening.

How It Must Feel to Be Beaten by Teenagers IMAGE: PROVIDED

and Drew Brees for severely underperforming these past weeks and letting my team down. However, let’s not forget that two out of the last three times the New York Giants began a season 0–2, they won the Super Bowl. Team names are somewhat of an art form in Fantasy Football. The ability to come up with a pun based on football (ideally one based on a player on your team) is revered even more than the last-minutepick-up-who-scores-thirty-pointsbecause-God-hates-my-team. The adults have been found wanting in this category. The team names are as follows: Members of The Tattler continue their domination of the City of Ithaca.

By CHRIS SKAWSKI

Old versus young. Youth versus experience. An epic struggle, as old as humanity itself, has found new life this year at IHS. For those of you who don’t know, this year, a Fantasy Football league was formed with four teenagers involved with The Tattler and four adults from the Ithaca community. Rubin Danberg-Biggs ’14, Editor-in-Chief, Sarah Nixon ’14 and Peter Frey ’14, staff writers, and myself, the sports editor, are in the league, facing off against IHS principal Jarett Powers, Superintendent Luvelle Brown, Mayor Svante Myrick, and Democratic nominee for Congress from our district, Nate Shinagawa. Enough with the recap. Despite several setbacks and technological hiccups, the draft for this league took place on September 4, just in time to set a lineup for the start of the 2013–2014 NFL season. With several of the adults absent and relying on auto-pick, the teams came out quite fair overall. However, the true power of each team has become apparent. Team Shinagawa and We Hate the Cheatriots (Nixon) have both gone 2–0 so far, while Winning Will Be Too Brees-y (Skawski) and Team Brown have both dropped to 0–2. While I’ve got you for a moment, I would just like to curse Marshawn Lynch

Winning Will Be Too Brees-y {Drew Brees} (Skawski) Cruzing to Victory {Victor Cruz} (Danberg-Biggs) We Hate the Cheatriots {The New England Patriots-cheat-sometimes} (Nixon) We Are Okay with the Cheatriots (Frey) Team Brown (Brown) Team Shinagawa (Shinagawa) Team Powers (Powers) Team Myrick (Myrick) Notice anything? The adults have just named their teams after themselves. How boring. As such, I urge you, dear readers, to tell any or all of these adults to create a pun-tastic team name or even suggest one of your own. Their e-mail addresses are only a Google search away, and Mr. Powers’s office is just down the hall. If they can’t respect the sanctity of the punny team name, then what value does playing Fantasy Football even hold? Let me conclude by saying that Mr. Powers’s team is fierce, and Editor-in-Chief Rubin Danberg-Biggs’s team may not stand up to it in the coming weeks. Here’s hoping he has to make that shirt he promised he would.

October 7, 2013

SPORTS

The Curse on the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Soccer Style IMAGE: PROVIDED

By DEANNA DEYHIM

“A revolving door of coaches” is how Athletic Director Danielle LaRoche described the IHS girls’ varsity soccer team’s coaching situation. For the past three years, the team has been introduced to three new coaches. Jennifer Murphy had carried the team for years until fall of 2011, when Marc Sapoznik took over. The next season was coached by John McKeown, and now for the current season, EJ Reutemann has taken over. Coach Reutemann is an assistant coach to SUNY Cortland’s men’s soccer team, and this additional commitment has caused the girls’ soccer practice times to be moved from the standard 4:00 p.m. time to 5:30. Some parents are concerned that this change will have a negative impact on their girls. “These girls aren’t used to having twelve-hour workdays,” one parent said during a meeting between parents, athletes, the district coordinator, and LaRoche. Parents also voiced concerns about breaking from past years’ routines. On the other hand, it was brought up that, with this later practice time, the girls’ soccer team would be able to get homework done before arriving home tired from practice, and that the girls could also participate in clubs. Though a later practice time could mean losing girls from the team, LaRoche countered that all student athletes must eventually decide the kind of commitment they want to make to their sport and what they’re willing to sacrifice for it. Though some girls at the meeting knew Coach Reutemann from when he was a coach for the OnePlus Soccer Academy team, parents who didn’t know him questioned whether he was worth moving the practice time to later in the day. “EJ is definitely worth having a later practice time for,” said Amy Shmoys ’15. “I would practice even lat-

Girls’ soccer hopes to rally behind another new coach this year.

er if it meant having him as a coach.” To this, a few other students who had played on OnePlus nodded in agreement. LaRoche added that having a later practice time is not a rarity, and that teams like boys’ basketball and girls’ lacrosse also practiced later in the evening because their coaches have other commitments. Though Coach Reutemann was not able to attend this meeting because of an out-of-state soccer camp he was running, he was available for some questions. Concerning the later practice time, Reutemann noted that, even though it would be hard, the team would find ways around it together. When going into what he was looking forward to in the season, he said, “I see a great opportunity to put something together on the field that would put Ithaca with the top teams.” When asked how long he was planning to stay with team, the coach responded that he wants to impact the team as much as he can for as long as he can.

In Other News:

Cornell Lacrosse Team Suspensed The entire Cornell men’s lacrosse team has been put on temporary suspension for the fall season. This suspension follows a hazing incident in which freshmen were mistreated. No one was hospitalized, arrested, or injured in the incident, which included forced alcohol consumption by underage team members, among other actions. While the team is still allowed to train and practice, under university sanction guidelines, two fall exhibition games were cancelled. For more information, visit www.hazing.cornell.edu.

October 7, 2013

SPORTS IMAGE: MICHAELA BREW

CBC works hard. Should it be part of IHS?

Should Cascadilla Boat Club Be Represented by IHS? By PATRICK SKAWSKI

Cascadilla Boat Club (CBC) is a local rowing group that draws in people from the surrounding areas, including from Trumansburg and Lansing. Since the 1970s, Cascadilla has provided rowing programs for all ages, with a scholastic program consisting of novice and varsity rowers and a masters program. Rowing is a year-round sport with three competitive seasons: spring, summer, and fall, plus winter training to stay in shape while the river and lake are frozen. The novices are the newer of the scholastic rowers, and practice after school from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. After rowing for two seasons, they can move up to varsity, which practices from 6:00 to 8:00 a.m. before school starts. The masters program is for people who are no longer in high school but still wish to row, such as college students, board members, and even parents of some of the scholastic rowers. Both programs are competitive, and compete throughout the year in races referred to as regattas. Often times at regattas—boat races similar to track meets—other competitors will ask us at CBC where we’re from, and we’ll explain that, even though we’re from Ithaca, we’re not in fact affiliated with IHS. This has also brought

up the long-running question: Should CBC represent IHS? Of course, if CBC were to represent IHS, that would mean that IHS would have to support the Club financially; however, more money goes into operating a rowing club than one might think. On average, an eight (a boat that holds eight rowers and a coxswain) costs about $30,000, which is far more than what our school would like to spend on any sport. The periodic cost of replacing the boat would have to be added to the routine costs of maintaining the boat house itself, with electricity, insurance, paying coaches, and keeping motor boats. Alongside the immense expenses that are part of running a rowing club, having CBC be represented solely by IHS would take away an opportunity that kids from around the area enjoy and partake in. By solely being an IHS sport, kids from Lansing, Trumansburg, and even Whitney Point would be unable to row just because of the colors worn at competitions. Is taking away from people such a great opportunity to be active just to make ourselves more assimilated with IHS worth it? I think not. We at CBC take pride in our independence. While we appreciate being represented at the Pep Rally, even the rowers and coxswains at CBC wish to remain their own independent club, representing the entire area rather than just one school.

October 7, 2013

SPORTS IMAGE: PROVIDED

Alternatives to School Sports By CHRISTINA CONSTAS

Don’t like the intensely competitive nature of school sports? Don’t have time for after-school practice every day? Still want to stay in shape and be healthy? We have some good alternatives for you! 1. Join a gym: Ithaca has many great gyms you can join. Planet Fitness and Island Health and Fitness are a few options. For a more affordable option, you can go to the IHS fitness center after school, which has state-of-the-art equipment and great trainers who are willing to help. What’s great about going to a gym is that you can go on your own time—whether you go every day or only a couple times a week, it’s your choice! 2. Take a Zumba or yoga class: If you’re not athletic, Zumba and yoga are great workout options. There are several places around Ithaca that offer these classes. Mighty Yoga and Sunrise Yoga Studio are two yoga studios that are both conveniently located downtown. You can find Zumba classes on the Commons. If you join a gym, you may even be able to attend Zumba or yoga classes at it. 3. Join (or start) an active club at IHS: There are a couple sports-related clubs at IHS, such as the Badminton and Ultimate Frisbee Clubs. Clubs are much more relaxed than school sports, and usually meet just once a week. Clubs can be a lot easier to fit into a busy schedule than sports are. If you can’t find a club that meets your desires, feel free to start a new one! Just talk to Mr. Mellander in Activities for more information. 4. Work out at home: there’s even an app for that! If you feel that you don’t even have enough time to leave the house, you can try working out at home. There are plenty of great workout apps for your phone and other devices that can build a workout schedule for you, much like a gym trainer might. These workouts are designed to be used at home, so they usually do not require any equipment. For example, “Skimble” is a great free workout app from the App Store.

Oh yes—they are camels, and they are racing.

Wacky Sport: Camel Racing By CHRIS SKAWSKI

Hey you! Yes, you! Are you bored with the so called “fun sports” and “recreational activities” that are popular in your society? Looking for a change? Well look no further, for the October Tattler has your totally wacky answer. Horse racing has been and still is a major sport in our country, the biggest events of which are the Kentucky Derby and the Triple Crown (Google them). The sport consists of a jockey riding on the horse’s back and a dirt track in the shape of an oval. Horse racing is notorious for gambling and betting on which horse will win. But this is mundane in today’s world. Since horse racing isn’t quite “out there” enough, perhaps replacing the horse with another ungulate (Google it) may do the trick. Lucky for you, a very popular sport this time of year is camel racing. From late October to April, camel races happen in several countries in the Middle East, as well as in Mongolia and Australia. The races take place on sandy tracks in the desert, which are up to ten miles long. Fifteen to seventy-five camels at a time are lined up at the starting gate, and they all race. Here’s the wacky twist: Instead of riding the camels, the owners of racing camels drive alongside their camels, honking and shouting at them. The loud noises spook the camels into running faster all the way down the track. While betting on the races is prohibited, owning a winning camel can be very profitable (coincidentally like owning a winning race horse). Sheikhs usually race in the mornings, while the afternoons are open to the public. Races are typically held Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Unfortunately, even if camel racing sounded appealing to you, it requires several things: the ownership of a camel; the ownership of a car; proximity to a desert; and fourteen to seventy-four other people who meet the previous conditions. But if you meet all of these, or if you are ever abroad in a country where these races occur, be sure to check them out, but be careful not to get caught under-hoof!

SPORTS

October 7, 2013

The Win Column IMAGE: AL BELLO

By RAYMOND XU (Peter Frey is on leave)

For all those interested, there’s a strange new phenomenon that seems to be interesting America. I took a look this week to see what the fuss was about. Oh yeah—I just remembered what it’s called: football. So I took time to research in-depth what was happening in the NFL and to share it with you. Let’s start with the most miserable teams: Peyton Manning’s Broncos apparently had their running backs play rock-paper-scissors for who got to carry the ball on a first and goal line run during their nail-bitingly close 37–21 victory over the Oakland Raiders. The Broncos’ up-and-coming quarterback Peyton Manning lost a fumble in just his third start of the season. I lost zero fumbles on Sunday; even I’m better than Eli Manning’s lesser-known older brother. The game must have been depressing for Broncos fans. With the Raiders game included, their points-per-game average drops down to a measly 42. Moving on to one spot lower on the rankings: at 31st out of 32 teams in the NFL, the struggling Seattle Seahawks. Marshawn Lynch’s beast mode might have to start stepping it up; locker room interviews have revealed a unanimous top complaint: “I’m mad because my team is not the Denver Broncos.” Understandable. Who wouldn’t want to work next to one of the best players in his position, the future hall-of-famer

The Giants are missing a win as bad as The Tattler misses Peter Frey.

punter Matt Prater? Skipping through some teams that don’t matter, the Chicago Bears went as hard as the rapper Chief Keef this weekend. Jay Cutler knocked some Pittsburg Steelers’ safety down on the ground. Look it up. On a 13-yard scramble, Cutler appeared to look around him before knocking the safety down. One surprising tidbit about the situation in the NFL after three weeks of

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football is that the New York Giants are unanimously ranked as the number-one team in the NFL. A reporter said that “Tom Coughlin’s head coaching job is in the hot seat,” which means that the Giants will beat the Patriots again in the Super Bowl, with the MVP being Eli Manning, who will lead eighteen fourth-quarter comebacks in the next sixteen games, all while watching football on his phone. The world record for Oldest Man on Earth is being held and constantly broken by Cleveland’s quarterback, Brandon Weeden. He played some lame game somewhere (I forgot where or when or what the game was) for at least 100 years, starting his NFL rookie season at the age of at least 100 years old. But you know Cleveland is going hard at the bottom, because, as Drake once said, “Started at the bottom, now we here.” Cleveland is in transition between being at “the bottom” and “here.”

Quiz: Which United States President Are You Most Like? By CONOR COUTTS

1. What do you consider to be an ideal Saturday night? A. Spending a nice, quiet evening with your . . . uh . . . “wife.” B. Watching Finding Nemo. C. Spending a nice, quiet evening with your . . . uh . . . “wife.” D. Lying. E. Powdering your wig. 2. What is your favorite summer activity? A. Eating copious amounts of fried food with your . . . “wife.” B. Choking on pretzels. C. Admiring yourself before a mirror. D. Sweating profusely in intimidation. E. Purchasing new wooden teeth. 3. What is your favorite television show? A. Jersey Shore. B. SpongeBob SquarePants. C. Mad Men. D. Anything on The Weather Channel. E. What is this “television” you speak of? 4. What is your favorite board game? A. Any game that I can cheat in. B. Any game that I can completely rig. C. Chess. D. Checkers. E. Horses and Tobacco. 5. What’s your favorite book? A. Anything by Dr. Phil. B. Green Eggs and Ham. C. The Catcher in the Rye. D. War and Peace. E. The Iliad.

6. What’s your favorite subject? A. History. B. PE. C. Speech and Debate. D. English. E. What is this “subject” you speak of ? 7. What is your one regret? A. Getting married. B. Not reading enough Dr. Seuss— the morals of his books are so inspiring. C. Not being narcissistic enough. D. Watergate. E. No regrets—YOLO! 8. What is your least favorite activity? A. Telling the truth. B. Making decisions. C. Letting people down. D. Telling the truth. E. Powdering your wig. 9. What is your favorite food? A. Barbeque ribs. B. Macaroni and cheese—shaped like dinosaurs! C. Clam chowder. D. Steak and potatoes. E. Dry bread in lukewarm water.

Results: Mostly As: Bill Clinton. You’ve done some improper things and used to be opposed to gay marriage, but for some reason, everyone wants you to become Prom King anyway. Go for it! Mostly Bs: George W. Bush. You may make a few silly gaffes once in a while, but terrorists are constantly trying to harm your reputation, and so are you. Mostly Cs: John F. Kennedy. Your leisure activities include sleeping with beautiful women, saving the world from nuclear disaster, and having your death spark a revolution in American civil rights. You’re like a breath of fresh air in a club whose only other members are WASPs. Mostly Ds: Richard Nixon. The only thing I remember about Nixon is that he started the EPA. . . . I assume most of the rest of his life was similarly successful. You two are so similar! Mostly Es: George Washington. With the benefit of hindsight, you will be remembered 200 years from now as the single greatest American in history. Honest, strong, perfect—why aren’t you President?

October 7, 2013

PENULTIMATE

Dear Darwin, My longtime roommate has gotten out of control. She has done highly disturbing things in the past, but this time she has gone too farâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;she has left her dead grandmother in the refrigerator! I like her a lot, but am feeling the need to move out. What should I do? Love, Disgusted

Dearest Disgusted, This really does not seem like a problem to me, and I was married to a naked mole rat for sixth months, so I know a problem when I see one. Well, I would make an educated guess that your charming roommate could simply not afford a mortician. I remember when my ex-girlfriend collapsed unexpectedly; I could not afford a proper funeral, nor an authentic autopsy. Good thing she turned out not to be dead a few weeks later! Anyway, the only recommendation I would make is that you, being a good friend,

move granny from the fridge to the freezer to preserve her properly. I think you would be selfish to just move out of this place you have with your beloved gal palâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;now that granny is in the freezer, everything shall be okay! To rekindle your friendship, try doing fun things like driving through New Jersey or passing a kidney stone together! At any rate, you need to stop thinking about yourself and continue to think about your friendship. Cheers, Don Darwin Dorward

Horoscopes Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): Expect a cavalcade of illness this month . . . and every month. You will be plagued by a multitude of unpleasant fevers, but at least you still have tapioca pudding. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): As autumn has begun, you will start to feel cold, so be sure to wear a jacket. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): You are off to a pretty awful start this month: you set fire to your sister Henry’s car and your mother has forced you to sleep with your grandpa in the basement. But have hope—there is a future for you in the empire of Cheese Whiz Spray! Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): You are obnoxious in any social situation. This can be easily solved by telling your significant other (in this case your mom) to put

a bag over your head and staple your mouth shut— the positive energy shall be channelled quickly.

Gemini (May 21–June 20): The stars tell me that you will grow a third leg—how useful!

Breaking Bad

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): The only thing we have to fear is your ridiculous body odor problem. Seriously. Get help.

Cancer (June 21–July 22): You know a guy who knows a guy who knows a gal who can cure your mono—it’s all good.

Fridays with no homework

Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): Your favorite TV show’s gone on hiatus. What do the producers expect you to do for the next three months— homework? Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): After getting your earlobes removed, you will realize that you are destined to become a sanitation worker with SASS. Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): You needn’t eat cooked foods! Large amounts of uncooked hamburger will cleanse your digestive track and make you smile eternally!

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Don't stress about planning your gopher’s wedding—just sit on your posterior and watch Breaking Bad while eating copious amounts of shortening. Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): If you have constipation, be sure to participate in contact sports like mud wrestling. They will cure your illness and make you feel wonderful about your unpleasant body image.

4 9

Triangles

Government shutdowns

Suits hiatus

Graduation requirements

6 8

5 3

6 4

4 8

7 5

3 6

Anarchy

7 2

Elephants

Breaking Bad is over