IIA of IL Wellness Series
I’M FINE (and Other COVID Lies) By Claudia St. John
One day this past week, Lisa Ritchie, our VP of Recruiting and Talent Selection, and I were on a video call. She was having a rough day and needed to vent about something non-work related: managing the virtual schooling of her children due to COVID school closures. “You know,” she said, “I’m perfectly fine going along and going along and then one day, Bam! I hit an emotional wall. Do you know what I mean?” she asked. Yes, I absolutely do know what she means. I too have hit emotional walls over the past few months, sometimes over something very upsetting and important such as the COVID death of someone I’ve known my whole life, and sometimes over something trivial, such as the lack of paper towels in the grocery store. And, I’ve fielded many calls from clients who have hit their own emotional walls. What I’m learning is that as the global health pandemic lingers on in its insidious way, our resiliency is challenged in unexpected and sudden ways. Our ability to handle adversity is occasionally compromised. And unfortunately, our moments of poor emotional intelligence are unpredictable and inconsistent. And it seems that no one is immune to these emotional gyrations. This is a very real workplace challenge that many business owners and managers are facing these days. When talking with your employees, it’s important to let them know that they may be experiencing unpredictable ups and downs. Feel free to share your own emotional struggles so
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insight
that others know it is normal to experience feelings like frustration, sadness, and anger. It helps to know none of us are alone in our feelings. Fortunately, there are things you can do to help. To manage those feelings, here are some steps to improve emotional intelligence:
Step 1 – Self Awareness
Often times, we don’t realize our emotions have hijacked us until we’re in a full-blown state of fight, flight, or freeze. We may find ourselves lashing out at others, or freezing from anxiety or fear. These are indications that our brain has been stimulated by a stress signal and stress hormones like histamines, cortisol, and epinephrine are flooding our bodies. Chances are, however, that before you were in an extreme emotional state, your body was sending you signals that you were feeling fear or anxiety or sadness or anger. Start paying attention to your body. For me, I feel stress as butterflies in my stomach. I find myself clenching my fists or clenching my jaw when I’m angry. I feel frustration in my shoulders and head. Most of the time, I feel these emotions in my body before I have identified my emotion or why I’m feeling it. The most important element of managing your emotions is to notice that you’re having an emotion. For the next few days, try to pay attention to the signals your body is sending you indicating that you are having an emotional reaction to something around you. Listen to your body.
february 2021
