INNER LIGHT MInistries Journal Volume 26 Number 1
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True To Being Your Self
by Jim Gordon, President of ILM
(from Know Thy Self, 3/10/10)
re you happy? Are you joyful? Are you moving forward? Are you having the experiences in life that you want? If not, the only person that can change that is you. Of course, there are people in the world who claim they can change your life and they’ll play the game of it, but oftentimes, they’ll only confuse you more than help you – and you’ll confuse yourself trying to do the things they tell you to do. Maybe those things they’re telling you to do worked for them, but those things may not be the tools by which you can move forward in your life. So, don’t copy other people, and maybe you don’t even need to listen to other people telling you how you should be living your life. I’ve had people tell me that I’m wrong, that what I’m doing is wrong, that I’m going the wrong direction. I’d think, “Well, maybe I need to pay attention. Maybe they’re wiser than me,” and I’d give it a try only to find out they weren’t wiser than me. Telling ourselves that we should be something that we’re not, comparing ourselves to others and yearning for the happiness we believe someone else has acquired also does not work. That’s living outside of ourselves, and that can only lead to separation and discontent. I’ve found that if I can just be honest and patient with myself, and honor myself by doing my life my way, that I have a great joy and happiness and enthusiasm with my own life. But, the moment I start looking outside of myself, living outside of myself, I go into separation, frustration, anger, judgment, and I am miserable in that space. Those aren’t the qualities of life I want, and they aren’t going to get me anywhere except into greater shut down and greater pain. Early on in my life I kept a journal. Each day I would write down one thing I learned about myself that day. One day I decided to read through my journal, and I was quite surprised. Amongst my entries were complaints about other people – my impatience with other people,
April, 2014
things I’d seen other people do that I thought were wrong, things others had done wrong to me. As I read on, I became aware of how I had been approaching situations and how I had been responding to others. I realized that I had been in reaction with a lot of people. I began to explore my reactions because I knew they built barriers and caused separation between myself and others, as well as between myself and my self, and ultimately, between myself and God. This exploration became the next part of my journaling and the next part of my journey. Through journaling, I learned that I sometimes reacted because I was envious of what others had. I learned that I’d get frustrated or angry if I felt others weren’t listening to me, or were trying to get me to think the way they did or expecting me to do things their way. I suddenly realized that there was an action that I needed to do, and that was to be patient with them, and allow them to be who they are. I realized that I couldn’t expect them to change in order for my world to be what I wanted. I had to just be patient with them and allow them to live their life even if it seemed to clashed with mine. If they were going to try to “put stuff on me”, that’s fine, but I don’t have to take “their stuff” in; I don’t have to live it, I don’t have to believe it, and I don’t have to dismiss my own self. Through my new awareness and learning I began to be more patient and accepting of others. I also began to be more patient and loving with myself. I was no longer so self-centered, but was becoming center-focused, and I began to live from that centeredness in a greater way than I had ever lived before. My question to you is this: What would it be like for you to live your life your way, to find your joy, to find your peace, your happiness, your abundance, your enthusiasm, and at the same time, allow others to do the same in their lives? The first key is to live your life honestly and be true to yourself; others will eventually, if not immediately, come into alignment. The second key is to be patient with others, and allow others to live their lives honestly and be true to themselves.
Becoming Free
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The phrases “burning the seeds of karma” or “burning off karma” are used on the Path of Sound and Light to describe the light of Spirit, that flame of Spirit, moving through us in meditation, purifying, releasing, and burning off karmas that have held us, the soul, in bondage. When the soul’s attachments begin to release, we may physiologically experience our bodies responding in ways such as feeling heat, or literally feeling a burning sensation.
by Brian Yeakey, Vice President of ILM (from England Retreat, 10/26/12)
nitiation, in the Path of Sound and Light, assists us in getting free of our karmas on every level. Karma is all the unlearned lessons that stand between us and God, and the soul is now getting free from its physical, astral, causal, mental, and even its unconscious karma.
I like to joke around about exercise and burning calories as a “spiritual reflection” in the world. In many meditation practices, meditation is often referred to as “spiritual exercises,” so as we do our spiritual exercises, that light of Spirit comes in and begins to burn the kal-ories. (“Kal” – lord of time, record keeper of our karmas.) So that’s my joke! All jokes aside, in truth, as we meditate, as we do our spiritual exercises, we allow the light of Spirit in, and it begins to ‘burn’ those influences, those karmas that have kept us attached. When we physically exercise and burn the calories, we ‘lighten up’; so is it also true that through spiritual exercise, we lose the weights of karma, and literally, feel lighter.
In the first couple of years of being a new initiate, we’ll deal a lot with freeing ourselves from physical karma. We’ll begin to release attachments that the soul has had in the body. We may experience physiological and biological phenomena. While meditating, for example, we may feel really hot or cold, we may all of a sudden feel hungry, or need to go to the bathroom, or we may experience other physical things happening. When I was newly initiated, I’d find myself often rocking during meditation, or my muscles would twitch – such examples are physicalities of the soul.
Attachments in the physical body are probably the first thing we’ll notice when beginning our meditation practice, and the first to let go; body aches, twitches, itches, heat, cold – any distraction in the body will start to release and eventually, we’ll begin to give less and less attention to them. Occasionally, little things may show up here and there. There might be discomfort in the neck or back or wherever it may show up because that may be where those karmas are being worked out right then. So, take care of yourself. Do the meditation, and allow the Loving to move in and through you so that the soul gets free. This Path is not about trying to heal the body; it’s about loving it all so that the soul gets free of the body. As it does, as you move beyond the body, and you allow the Loving to wake you and you’ll start to see the lessons, to learn the lessons. Then the modality that will support you physically will often become clear whether it’s a healing or just maintenance. I still have some of my own stuff that I’ve worked on for so many years that I now just say that I’m in pain management rather than trying to heal it – it’s called “acceptance,” because some things continue on with the body while other things do get healed.
Years ago, before I was on this Path, I used to allow myself to do free-form movement as a kind of moving meditation, something like Tai Chi or yoga, and my body would follow the energy. I didn’t know what I was doing exactly, but some of it was just amazing. Some time later I saw the same actual yoga postures and realized that these yoga systems came from people surrendering, from people allowing the postures to unfold, understanding that those movements of the physical level can be releasing and purifying. Meditation, as taught on the Path of Sound and Light, is the quickest way to move through all our karma. It is by moving through our karma that the soul becomes free to go higher and higher. When we meditate, we’re withdrawing the soul upward to where it was seated, known as the “seat of the soul.” By holding our attention at the spiritual eye center, the soul withdraws itself from the physical, imaginational, emotional, mental and unconscious bodies. Once it’s at the seat of the soul, it then turns its attention upward toward God and continues on traveling beyond the physical and into the realms of Spirit. 2
INNER LIGHT MInistries
Calendar
Classes & Programs: Spring – Summer ‘14 Presented by Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey in Austin, Texas:
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For additional information, call 512-306-1056.
onthly
Classes:
Jim and Brian’s meeting is held once a month on the following Sundays,
at the Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX (see directions below).
Monthly meetings include spiritual teachings, Q&A, and meditation. Jim and Brian assist participants to become more deeply aware of the Spirit within. No charge.
Please take note of the dates for the ILM Monthly Classes:
Sundays: APR 13, MAY 18, JUN 22, JUL 20, AUG 17, SEP 14 Potluck: 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6:30 pm*
Directions to Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX. From N. Austin/Round Rock: FM 620/ RR 620. Road name changes to FM 620 West/RR 620 West. Take ramp left and follow signs to TX 45 TOLL West. Take ramp for FM 620 W/RR 620 W. Continue on FM 620/RR 620. Arrive at 411 RR 620 South, Lakeway TX. From South Austin: Take TX-1 Loop South. Take ramp right to TX 71 West/US 290 toward Johnson City and Llano. Take ramp to TX 290 West/71 West. Keep straight on US 290 West/71 West. Keep right on TX 71 West. Turn right on FM 620 South. Continue on FM RR 620 South. Arrive at 411 RR 620 South, Lakeway TX.
For additional information, call Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056.
* Ending times are approximate.
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(ILM Calendar continues on pages 4-6)
I nner L ight M inistries Calendar in Austin:
ILM Community Potluck Nights: These community nights are intended for the ILM spiritual community to gather together in loving friendship at Laura Kesten’s home on the 1st Saturday of every month for fun, laughter, and great food. Everyone is welcome. Bring a dish if you want to add to the potluck. Starts 5-5:30 pm. 13210 Calf Roping Trail, Austin Park on the street or at the pool/park and walk a short block. APR 5, MAY 3, JUN 7, JUL 5, AUG 2, SEP 6 For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-658-4117, or email laurakesten@ilm.org.
July 4th Celebration Friday, July 4th
Potluck beginning at 6 pm
at Bill Stratton’s home, 3124 Flinders Reef Lane, Austin. It’s a weenie roast! Bring a side dish or dessert. Later we’ll enjoy the Fireworks display from the front yard. (Please bring a folding chair if you have one.) If you want to bring and shoot fireworks, or sing, play the guitar, do magic tricks, or come in costume — all is welcome! RSVP by July 1st. Contact Bill at 512-388-7350 or email billstratton@ilm.org.
Send Us Your Email Address, Choose Green Journals, and Update Mail
Since we are doing our best to communicate with our ILM members through the internet, please send
(or update) your email address to your local representative, or to Laura Doggett at ilmadmin@ilm.org.
Also, if you would like to forego the paper route and published please let us know. Each time a new send an email notification with a link to download email address and put “Choose Green Journal”
receive an email notification when the ILM Journal is Journal becomes available (3 times per year) we will the latest Journal in PDF format. Send us your in the subject to ilmadmin@ilm.org.
Finally, if we don’t have your mailing address, or you’ve had any recent address changes, please notify your local representative or email that information to ilmadmin@ilm.org. 4
(ILM Calendar continues on next page)
I nner L ight M inistries Calendar Presented by Steven McAfee, Midwest Coordinator:
For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167 or email stevenmcafee@ilm.org.
uesday Class Series: Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes in Fort Wayne on Tuesday Tnights from 7-8:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. The classes are open to anyone, and are intended to awaken and inspire our loving devotion to God. No charge, but donations are welcome.
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S pecial ideo Conferences: Live from Austin! Special live video presentations with Jim and Brian via the magic of technology! See YOU at the ILM Center. APR 8, AUG 5, OCT 7
7-9:30 pm
ILM Midwest Center
Donation
C
: More fun community events are on their way! Please RSVP the ILM ommunity Nights week before so we can plan appropriately. AUG 2
7-10 pm
Activity TBA
ILM Midwest Center
Donation
Child At Heart: This program is an opportunity for children and the people who love them to come participate in fun activities together in ILM. APR 19
2-3:30 pm
EGG-stravaganza
ILM Midwest Center
Donation
S -S II: F I ,H U – The 2014 WTP T P : AY W program is devoted to looking at what it is that you want in your life and deciding on practical actions you alking
he
ath
ear of
elf
tudy
arther n
igher
p
can take to support that by asking the questions, “What do you want? What are you doing? And does what you want and what you’re doing match?” In addition to the regular Sunday afternoon monthly meetings, periodic day-long Saturday workshops are scheduled. While the program is designed as a year-long study, it is NOT necessary to attend every month to benefit from it. No charge, but donations are welcome. APR 6, MAY 4, JUN 1, AUG 3, SEP 7 JUL 12, OCT 4, NOV 15 SEP 1 Labor Day Gathering
2-4:30 9:30-4:30 12-4
ILM Midwest Center ILM Midwest Center Location: TBA
No charge No charge No charge
R : “What Does It Mean To Be A Disciple Today?” In this retreat we will D look at examples from Christian, Jewish, and Eastern traditions to gain insight into how we can live more fully iscipleship
etreat
as a disciple today. This retreat begins on Thursday evening at 7 pm and ends on Sunday afternoon at 12:30 pm. Registration forms available at the ILM Midwest Center or you may request a form at stevenmcafee@ ilm.org. Space is limited, and advance registration is required. MAY 22 – 25
Manchester University Retreat Center
$195 double per person/$265 single
S : Steven occasionally serves as a guest speaker for Brigade of Light and other Sspiritual groups in the Midwest. The following is presently scheduled: unday
ervices
APR 20, JUN 1, AUG 17 JUN 8
11 am 10 am*
Brigade of Light, Ft. Wayne Detroit Unity Temple
Donation Donation
*Workshop (June 8) – Join Steven after the Sunday morning service at Detroit Unity for a seminar focused on the original spiritual teaching of Jesus and what he taught about the power of God’s Holy Name. A luncheon will be served after the 10 am service and before the start of the workshop. No charge. 5 (ILM Worldwide Calendar continues on next page)
I nner L ight M inistries Calendar Community ILM Meetings
•
Kalamazoo:
and
Events Worldwide:
Call Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 or email jg.richards@charter.net.
S G : These groups are held at two locations this year: Judy Richards and Greta SBrower. For more information, please contact Judy Richards (information is above); contact Greta Brower unday
tudy
roups
at 269-779-4763 or email greta.brower@gmail.com. Meetings are combined with a potluck each month. NOTE: There is no Study Group Meeting in May! 4715 Thistle Mill Court No charge MAR 23, OCT 26, NOV 23 12:30-4 pm APR 27, JUN 22, JUL 27, AUG 24, SEP 28 12:30-4 pm 505 N. Second Street No charge M : K or email carolee12@chartermi.net. alamazoo
editations
For more information please call Carolyn Dailey at (269) 327-6851
JUN 26, JUL 24, AUG 28, SEP 25, OCT 23
•
Deerfield Beach:
1-3 pm
2485 Brahms Avenue, Portage
No charge
Call Victoria Eng at 310-980-2224 to RSVP and get dates and directions.
: The focus of each evening is on spiritual awakening and connecting to the Loving through M listening to an ILM meditation and talk by Jim and Brian. eeting
Alternate Wednesdays
•
Hawaii:
Deerfield Beach, Florida
No charge
Call the contact person for the following meetings.
1. Call Kelsie at 808-638-0380 or 808-285-6624 (cell) for directions and information.
T L C : The focus is on studying and practicing the spiritual tools, i.e. L Meditation, LAF & Taking Responsibility based on Jim’s and Brian’s talks. Note: Two locations. iving
he
1st Sunday 4th Sunday
6 pm
oving
lass
3:30-6 pm 3-5 pm
North Shore of Oahu Hawaii Kai, Oahu
No charge No charge
2. Call Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509, or 551-3123 (cell) for directions. editation: Twice a month gathering for a two and a half hour meditation.
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1st Monday & 3rd Tuesday
8:30-11:15 am Manoa Valley, Honolulu
No charge
3. Call Brian Samo Ross at 808-247-3305 or 554-3305 (cell) for directions. eeting: Join us for a Jim and Brian meditation and talk followed by a potluck.
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2nd Sunday
10 am
Kaneohe, Oahu
No charge
4. Call Kelsie at 808-638-0380 or 808-285-6624 (cell) for directions and information. Class: Once a month gathering for a two and a half hour meditation,
M followed by a potluck lunch and LAF Class. Join in for any part or all of the day. editation & LAF
3rd Sunday 10 am-12:30 pm Meditation North Shore of Oahu 12:30 pm-1:30 pm Potluck & 1:30 pm-3:30 pm LAF Class
•
London, England:
No charge
Call Nanna Brincker at 0207-485-0699 for directions.
: Join us for a 2-hour meditation at 42A Montpelier Grove London NW5 2XE, or join us on M skype at 4 pm for the meditation (log on 10 minutes before). Please let Nanna know your skype name. eeting
APR 11, JUN 8 & 29, JUL 20, AUG 10 & 31 (Sundays) 6
4 pm
No charge
Excerpts on Meditation by Jim
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and Brian
t’s just that simple. Through the practice of meditation, it’s just that easy to go deep inside of yourself and to touch the doorway to your soul. It’s almost too easy. It’s almost too simple. The trick is you’ve got to meditate daily. If you really want it to be effective in your life you have to do it daily; that’s the only way that the soul can align itself with you, and begin to bring you to a point of upliftment where you’re liberated. Then, there’s no need to return to these realms of life. It’s up to you. You can read a book, you can go to lectures, you can do a lot of things, but until you stop, sit down and go within, it’s not going to mean a whole lot. Meditation is the way to find God. God is there waiting to give to you in an unconditional manner; you’ve got to ‘go in’ unconditionally and open up to His Loving in order to share in it.
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– Jim Gordon
n truth, we’ve always been one with God and have never been in separation. All we did was turn away. In looking away from God, and looking down and out into this creation here, we followed that movement of consciousness and have been just experiencing the looking away.
What we are doing in meditation is turning back towards God, and that’s our experience now. The practice of meditation and LAF is all about letting go of our down and out focus in this world and simply focusing back towards God. That’s the simplicity of this path. So keep it simple.
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This path is also very practical, and when we live that practicality in that way, then the magic happens. Our lives begin to change, which can be quite amazing and awesome. And, the things we can experience on the other levels of consciousness are just extraordinary ... to this world. In Spirit, it’s all very ordinary, but to this world, it’s extraordinary. – Brian Yeakey
he inner journey is about one thing: Loving — loving God, loving your soul, and loving yourself. It’s just following the Loving. And it’s learning how to live in that simplicity, and let go of all those complexities that this world has given us to live in, and be distracted from the truth of who we are.
So pay attention when you’re meditating, and begin to be still long enough, in your chanting the Name and in your inner focus, to become aware of that movement of Loving. – Jim Gordon
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n the physical, the meditation practice is the most direct expression that we can do in this body to awaken to the knowing of the Divine. – Brian Yeakey
very time you meditate, you gradually free yourself a little bit more from the physical creation. – Jim Gordon 7
ILM Pic Picks of 2014
Austin: ILM Sunday Meetings
July 4th Celebration
Community Night Halloweeeeeeeen!
Shopping for Coins For Kids
Christmas Party
Hawaii: Experiencing The Divine Retreat
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Coins For Kids Receipts
ILM Pic Picks of 2014 continued
Midwest:
Valentines
Community Events
Pumpkin Transcendence
Coins For Kids
Christmas Party
England:
Experiencing The Divine Retreat
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Excerpts on Inititation by Jim
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and Brian
nner Light Ministries is really a pathway of meditation. This pathway is for those who are seeking to understand more of the inner kingdoms, the inner regions, the ‘inter-action’ between God and Soul. It’s also a pathway, through Initiation, to begin to wake up to the truth of who we really are as Spirit. – Jim Gordon
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nitiation is about awakening beyond this realm of illusion, beyond this realm of time and space, to the Spirit of Loving within yourself. As you awaken to that Spirit of Loving within yourself you will awaken to the Loving in all things, in all creation. As you awaken into the realms of pure Spirit, you will at last awaken to the fullness of God directly. That is the greater journey that we move into and experience through initiation in this Path of Sound and Light.
– Brian Yeakey
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he greatest thing that you will ever, ever, ever, receive in this world is the Name of God in your consciousness. That’s the only gift that God gives us ... it is the only gift that God gives us. It sounds kind of strange, but it really is true. All the others are blessings – God’s blessings upon us — of God’s Loving, of God wishing us the best in all ways. But the one gift that God gives us is Initiation with the Name of God, the keys to the kingdom, by which the soul can be liberated. That’s the gift that God gives to us through a spiritual teacher. Then it’s up to us to honor that gift – to honor it, to love it, to appreciate it, to take it out and polish and shine it, to take good care of it. That’s what we are doing in our meditation every day. We’re saying, “Lord, thank you so much for this gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I just love you so much.” You have been given the gift. It lives within you. Are you honoring it? Are you polishing and taking care of it? Put your gift in a safe place, and keep it alive by repeating the Name of God every day ... that way you build the power of the Name. – Jim Gordon
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wonderful thing on this journey of life is the action of Grace that comes with Initiation on the Path of Sound and Light. Of course, Grace is here for all of us, everyone, but, in the Initiation, Grace is extended in a different way. In initiation the Grace is God’s Loving and Expression in greater fullness; that Grace is about bringing itself, as the Soul, back Home. And it’s not until it is time for the soul to come home that this action of Grace is extended through the Initiation. This, truly, is what the Initiation is – it is the action, the extension of Grace that assists the soul in its journey Home. Part of this action of Grace – as we allow it, open to it, and invite it in – is God’s Loving coming in, assisting us in detaching and letting go, freeing up those things in the world that we have been caught up in, or have been stuck in, or have been in bondage to. God’s Loving is what will free us. In allowing the Grace to move in and through us, the Keys of Initiation are the keys that will open the doors to allow all of this to take place. – Brian Yeakey (To learn more about Initiation please go to our website, www.ilm.org - see the bottom of page 11 for more information.)
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New CD - Action Of The Radiant Form Excerpt:
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od’s Loving moves and works through the soul of one who is awakened; that Loving, from the very heart of God, is expressed in every realm clear through to the physical. It is in this expression, in this movement of Spirit, that the Radiant Form works within each of us to awaken us and to bring us back into that state of Oneness.
We see that Oneness inwardly in the Radiant Form of the spiritual teacher; through that inward relationship with the Radiant Form, we begin to open to receive, to experience, and to come to know what that essence of Loving is, what that true Oneness of God is. That experience awakens us, gives us direction, shows us the way, and brings us along in our personal journey. So take the time to really develop that inner relationship with the Radiant Form of the spiritual teacher, the Light and the Sound, and the Loving. – Brian Yeakey (For a complete listing of ILM Products and ordering information see the ILM website information below.)
Welcome to Inner Light Ministries Introductory Packet
In this packet you will find: ILM’s book, Love and Loving; the CD, An Introduction To ILM;
the CD, Understanding The ‘Inner’ Pathway; the CD, Lotus Meditation; ILM’s brochure, Inner Light Ministries Guidelines For Initiation And Initiates; and a copy of our latest newsletter.
All of these materials have been selected to give the newcomer a better understanding of who we are and what we’re about. If you would like an Introductory Packet for yourself, or someone else, just let us know. Call us, email us, or write us! Feel free to take a look at our website, too: www.ilm.org (see more information below). We are happy to do what we can to assist you on your spiritual journey. Blessings of Peace, Joy and Loving To You! – Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, and the ILM Staff
ILM.org — the Inner Light Ministries Website
• • • • •
Jim’s and Brian’s Spiritual Sharings – listen on-line or download to your computer or MP3 ILM Journals – the most recent issue as well as archives Calendar of Events – find out what’s going on by geographic location or by minister Order or Download CDs – you can order or download any and all of ILM’s CDs online “Initiates Only” section – find out about Initiates events and listen to talks for Initiates
Initiate’s Handbook Initiates, remember to check out the Initiate’s Handbook in the “Initiates Only” section
of the website. Whether you are newly initiated or a long-time initiate, this most current version of the Handbook contains information that will be of special significance to you on your daily walk on the Path.
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nitiation is the greatest treasure of all the universes.
– Brian Yeakey
Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today!
Q& A
with Jim and
Q:
(Taken from Q & A class session of 4/14/13)
want it to fulfill, it’s not going to make us happy, it’s not going to fulfill that longing inside. Once we go into meditation and we start allowing the longing to pull us inward and upward rather than out in the world to fulfill itself, and we begin to make connection with that movement of Loving, that Sound, and that Light, and that presence of God, we’re going to live in that fulfillment. And then, we can go out and do our day, and yes, it’s a little blah, but at the same time there’s a fulfillment in it. By bringing God into everything we do, everything we do will have greater meaning and purpose because it has God meaning and God purpose. You’re just in that in between state of, “Oh God, it’s not out there.”
I think I have a really great life but lately it seems like everything I do in my life is pointless like I just want to go Home and so everything is just pointless.
A: (Brian) It is!
Q: So, what do I do?
A: (Brian) Go Home.
Brian
Cut the thread.
Every soul is going to go through what you’re describing, where life is going to feel pointless, where it will seem hopeless, and we may even feel depressed. At some point we have to realize that there is no fulfillment if we keep doing the world. In the beginning stages of seeing life as pointless, that’s where we can begin to now let go of the world because, really, what’s the point of continuing to feed the world when we want to go Home?
So, go ahead and do your meditation and connect inwardly. Once you get that connection going, it’s like being “plugged in.” We’re the plug and we’re looking for the wall socket, and when we meditate, sometimes we plug into the wall socket. During those times, it’s absolutely amazing because we’re connected fully to the current. Other times, we can be a little bit off, and although we may feel the surge, we don’t fully experience the connection. Still, other times, we may not even get connected at all. And that’s how it is. We just have to learn to stay as connected as we can all the time.
In the saying, “Let Go, Let God,” often the first stage is letting go. It helps if we focus on God, so in that first stage of thinking everything is pointless and in the letting go, we will automatically let God.
Q:
But, I still have to participate in life and that is, to me, what’s pointless.
don’t want to be here anymore, but I have to.
So, be aware that there will be times when you’re going to feel disconnected or just partly connected, and that’s okay because those times are telling you to pay more attention on keeping your focus more on God, more on Loving, and more inward and upward. You’re just going through this process now, and it’s a wonderful opportunity for you, as soul, to wake up to the greater knowing, and then you can live a more multi-dimensional consciousness. You can be aware of God and aware of the world, and aware of the world and aware of God; and aware of God in the world, and aware of the world in God. It’s an amazing process to come into that, but it takes time and patience.
A: (Jim) It’s the storyline that, all of a sudden, we realize that the world is not going to fulfill what we
However, it may not actually take as much time as you think if you give time to your meditation.
A: (Jim)
It’s not pointless, though, because as long as we’re in the body there are experiences to be had by the soul in the world, there are lessons to be learned, and there are actions to be fulfilled. There is always something for the soul to be doing down here while we’re in the body; it’s always fulfilling those things in the world that hold us in bondage here so that we are free to go when we take our last breath and not have to come back.
Q: I guess I’m just trying to reconcile the fact that I
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Q& A continued
Q:
we never did it, we never touched it, we were never there, and then we’re free of it. Also, we entered into our creations so that we could learn about the positive and the negative of that creative expression, of that experience; here too, we’ll need to become free of that karma by moving on, by bringing it into neutrality.
I had a question about physical challenges and how they relate to karma. I’ve listened to one of your CD’s, Jim, where you talked about people not letting things go, thus sometimes tumors are created and then need to be cut out, and the karma is let go in that way. So it seems that some health problems are because of things on the physical, like poor nutrition, but then there are other problems that are related to other issues on a spiritual level. How can we tell the difference?
A: (Brian) The biggest trap for us is when we judge
the process, when we analyze it, when we try to figure things out, and then try to heal through affirmations or some other technique. I know because I did it that way for years when I was in holistic health and was doing more of a metaphysical approach. Then, one day, I had an appointment with this holistic doctor. He was angry at anything that wasn’t holistic; I saw and felt his anger, and was able to see what it was doing to him and his staff. He was actually providing all these really wonderful, nutritional, healthy things and yet, his attitude about what was right and wrong created a certain focus that negated all that he was doing that was helpful. Being a witness to this woke me up in my own process – I saw that when I’m judging something as right and wrong, it causes upset in me. That judgment creates a trap and only prolongs the process. I suddenly saw that when I’m so focused on judging, that it creates a downward focus. I began to understand how that judgment is actually a fear inside, and it can be, sometimes, gripping.
A: (Jim) What I was talking about on the CD was about the times when karma is complete, but we keep repeating the karmic pattern anyway. We don’t allow it to be complete, and by continuing to repeat it we keep the old energy enlivened even though there’s no more energy there. So when that karma is ready to be released, and we’re unwilling to release it, it’ll gravitate into the physical form as a tumor, a cavity, or some other form. Then we go to a doctor to have it taken out or cared for; the frequency of the karma is lifted away from the body, and if you are fortunate and smart, you’ll finally let it go. But some people actually hold onto that frequency even after it is physically taken care of; they pull it back onto themselves and redevelop the situation again. Q:
What’s included in the physical karma? It’s not just the physical illnesses, is it?
A:
(Jim) All karma is lessons unlearned. We, as creative souls, have come down here in the physical to learn about the power of creativity as Soul. And, as creative beings, we create a lot of things. We create judgments, fears, anxiety, frustration, hatred, love, joy, peace, wealth, poverty – we create all these things and we have to take responsibility for all that we create. For every action there’s a reaction, so we have to take responsibility for the action and the reaction. The law of karma says we have to bring it all to neutrality, we have to bring it to quiet or rest – for every action there has to be a reaction until it all comes to rest or to equilibrium again. Our process is to ever bring things to neutrality, into equilibrium once again, as though
We project our fears out in the world by making something or someone wrong, but really, inside we are thinking that there is something wrong with us. Be aware of how often you are judging yourself, how often you’re trying to figure out what you have to do to fix or heal yourself. All that judgmental internal yapping works against us and just keeps us in it longer, instead of freeing us from it. For me, when I observed this in the doctor, when I saw how it looked outside of myself, it woke up something inside of me and I began to do my life differently. In ILM we talk all the time about LAF – loving, acceptance, and forgiveness. The goal isn’t necessarily to get rid of all our fears and judgments, but to love them all. 13
I’ve Had An Epiphany!
I
by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister
Because we live in the world of polarity, every story has both truth and falsehood. Those two polarities are ever trying to persuade us to believe one is reality and the other is deception; what we think is the truth may change to a lie, and what we think is the lie may change to the truth. The variability is based solely on the story we believe at the time.
have loved to write as far back as I can remember. I’ve loved the art of story from the first time my mother read me a story about a lion who loved peanut butter, from the time my older sister told me scary stories in the back seat of the car, from the day my kindergarten teacher read Yertle, The Turtle, and I was in wonder of rhyme. Mostly, I think I loved writing because it was the first subject that A+, Very Well Done, was written across the top of my page. Some of my classmates found their creative expression through music or painting or athletics, but I had found mine through writing. The more I received outstanding marks, the more I wanted to excel. Receiving positive recognition felt good, and I wanted more of it. When I came home with a paper that had a big red A, my mother smiled and told me she was proud of me.
But the real truth is in Spirit, and every story is an illusion. Every story we hold onto ensnares us in this worldly trap, including our very own life story. It keeps our attention focused down and out into the world of what is right and wrong. In Spirit, there is only Loving; there is no narrative. One Sunday, I stood in my living room, in the middle of my creation, miserable, asking myself, “Who am I, really?” and wondering when enough personal growth was enough, wondering how long before I would finally get it together, and how much more did I have to do before I could finally live my life in spiritual freedom ... right now. I was so tired from years of “working on my stuff,” of “clearing negative karma,” of “healing the past,” of “learning my lessons.” I was #@%*ing exhausted.
Years later, when the wall of my inner world began to deteriorate and crash all around me, I grabbed the clean white page, my black and red pens, and began to write with fury, describing the crumbling wall inside and all the feelings that flood when the damn breaks. When I was angry, I’d write; when I was sad, I’d write; when I felt lost, when I was scared, when I wanted to blame, when I hurt, I’d write. Pages and pages were filled of my inner tumultuous sea-of-feeling, and completed journals were shelved with care … for years. When I’d move, special attention was given to the new placement of my journals.
And that’s when it happened. I said, “No more!” Louder. “No more. That’s it. I am not doing this anymore.” I got a big plastic garbage bag and without ever opening the notebooks that had preserved my story for more than thirty-five years, I pitched them into the black bag. I dragged seven heavy bags out to my garbage bin and heaved them in. I lost seven bags of weight; story after story about blame and judgment, alcohol, sex, abuse, headaches, relationships, unworthiness, injustice – story after story I had told myself about myself – now in the garbage! It was an epiphanic moment!
Over the years, I’d hear people say that they burned their writing as a way to release their past and let go of pain. I was incredulous of such an action, not as a judgment of their process, but that I could never, I would never, do that. Those pages, filled with tears and ink, told my story; they held the truth of my process, my journey, my life. I’d think that to get rid of them would be getting rid of those parts of me that suffered, and I had no intention of rejecting those parts, of abandoning them, or setting them on fire. Hadn’t I experienced enough loss in my life? I would embrace them until the end as a way to honor my story.
I realized that this is my journey, not my story, and in order for me to continue on in my journey back Home to God, the next action was to lighten the load, because carrying seven bags of story was just too hard. I realized that I was not strong enough to lug all those bags upward … so I had to be strong enough to let them go. 14
Stepping Beyond Fear
W
by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister
my skin, and with my needle phobia, this was a big, BIG deal for me. It summoned all of the demons out of my closet and from under my bed! He asked me if I wanted to go ahead with the procedure that day, or re-schedule for a later visit. Have I mentioned that one of my long-standing methods for dealing with something I’m afraid to confront is to avoid it? Putting it off till later has always been effective … sort of … temporarily.
ere you one of those kids who were afraid of the dark? Do you remember conjuring up all sorts of scary images about what might be lurking under your bed or hiding in your closet after your parents turned out the lights? If you were, chances are, by now, you have moved beyond those fears and no longer put yourself through such distress when the lights go out. You’ve realized, through life experience, that there are no monsters under your bed and no boogieman in your closet. Your mind was just using its imaginative faculty to create a seeming reality out of an unreal one, and you are now no longer under the dominion of that kind of fear.
On that day, I surprised myself by telling him to do it now. I simply accepted that, since this was the reality at hand, instead of avoiding, instead of using mental gimmicks to distract myself, or praying for something different, why not experience it fully? In that moment, I knew Loving was present. Loving was not something that I would feel again only after I left the doctor’s office. It was available to me right then, as it is now, as it is in every moment that I open myself to allowing it in. The same Loving that lives in my meditations also lives in the most fearful moments of my life. All that changes is my openness to the Loving. When I give my attention to fear, my awareness of the Loving shuts down. As soon as I soften my grip on fear, my awareness opens up again. For me, it’s not that I didn’t know about the truth of Loving already; it was that this time, I took the action step that moved me from knowing about what is true into demonstrating that truth for myself.
But, perhaps, you are still using your imagination to scare yourself in other ways. It may even be that you have found yourself subject to some form of persistent emotional/mental fear that you cannot seem to get rid of – ranging from fear of spiders to fear of death. Whatever you are afraid of, even if it seems insignificant to others, is nevertheless, powerful for you. If someone is terrified of spiders and you are not, their fear may seem silly to you, and yet, your fear of mice seems perfectly sensible. I am afraid of needles. Not sewing needles … medical needles. A simple blood test gives me the willies. I worry between the time a blood test is scheduled and when it actually occurs. When the moment comes, I immediately feel queasy and light-headed. Oh, I know it’s “stupid,” but knowing that does not make the fear go away. So, I try to do mental tricks during the short and simple procedure: I visualize myself in a place where I feel safe; I tell myself I’m not afraid; or I sing a song to myself. While these tactics have been helpful to some degree, they have not stopped the fear from arising in me.
The procedure was essentially painless, and I was at ease. This was amazing – multiple needles were involved, and I was calm! I thought, “This is what I was so afraid of!? This is nothing!” I cannot tell you how relieved I was! I realized that my imaginative creations of what I thought might happen had been far more scary and painful than what I actually experienced. I am not claiming that having this experience has freed me from all my fears, but what it has done is given me a powerful reference point of what can happen when I let go and step beyond my fear. Taking that simple action transformed my whole experience. To move past our fear, we have to be willing to move. So, take the step, whatever your next step is, and watch what happens.
Recently, I had to have two small skin growths removed from my face. Now, mind you, this was a minor procedure that would not be terribly upsetting to most people. The doctor informed me that he would need to give me a number of local injections to anaesthetize 15
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