I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER VOLUME 10 NUMBER 4
DECEMBER, 1999
E XPANSION AND CONTRACTION by Jim Gordon, President of ILM
E
xpansion. What a wonderful word. To expand: to open up, to allow oneself to become more vulnerable, to be accepting. This is a great expression, and a wonderful state to be in in your life. Expansion means that one is open to change and growth and willing to do the work it takes in order to grow, to let go of old belief systems and ideas, to try out new ideas and ways in order to find out what works. Contraction. Another wonderful word. To contract: to shrink, to close down, to draw tightly together as in protection, to withdraw, to withhold, to hide. Doesn’t sound as great as expansion, does it? When do we contract? When we are in that place inside ourselves where protection is everything. We may contract when our self-defense mechanism compels us to flee or hide; when we just want it all to go away; when the pain inside stops us from going forward. Contraction seems to stop the pain, to protect us from having to move forward, and to not have to be responsible. Contraction is a powerful action and can be an effective solution to a painful situation. I know both of these words and both of these states of being very well. I have done and continue to do contraction and expansion depending upon the moment. In any challenging situation, in that moment, I can choose an old pattern of contraction or I can choose into expansion. As I have worked with both these parts of myself over the years I have looked at what action /reaction elements in my life take place that cause me to go into one or the other. I know that one area where contraction developed early in my life was that of protection. As a child I did not feel safe out in the world. At home I felt safe and secure, but out in the world I felt that others were judging me or comparing me rather than accepting me. So one way I would protect myself from the world around me
was through contraction. The way I contracted was usually to be very quiet and just disappear in the people and events around me. If I could just make myself quiet enough, just make myself small enough, I could contract to a point that no one gave me much attention. Another way that I contracted was to hide, to not come out and make myself available to participate in activities or groups. This withdrawal from the world seemed one way I could protect myself from all those around me who I felt did not understand me. At the time both these forms of contraction helped me feel safer — and yet because I developed this pattern, I also felt alone much of the time. I eventually realized that I was hurting myself more than helping myself through this contraction. So I decided to move in another direction, to take another action, that of expansion. Actually I did not have the words that I now have for all this — I just knew I had to do something different. I began to allow people into my life by participating more with people. When I was invited to events I would go. When people gathered after school to talk, I would gather with them and listen. I said nothing at first. Then one day someone turned to me and said,” Jim, what do you think?” In that moment I had to decide whether to contract or expand. I expanded — and what a great feeling that was. I expressed my beliefs and feelings and the conversation continued. And do you know what? No one seemed to judge what I had to say. In fact I was amazed when a few minutes later someone picked up on my statement and added to it — someone was listening to me and found what I had to say meaningful. Ever since that time I have known that I have a choice. I can choose whether to expand and open myself, or to contract in order to protect myself. These days I find myself choosing expansion more often. Not always but more often. It has always been very hard for me to get up in front of people and share myself with others, but now I do it in spite of the fear. I expand and allow myself to open and Expansion continues on page 6
EUREKA! the various organs and tissues. The heart pumps these by-products via the blood to the lungs, where it then releases the excess carbon dioxide and takes on fresh oxygen, then returns to the heart once more to be pumped out again to repeat its function. Our own ‘spiritual hearts’ do the same for us. Our spiritual hearts pump God’s pure love and light throughout our entire being — through our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical bodies. And on its journey, belief systems and behaviors which no longer serve us or are ‘toxic’ to us come forth to be purified once more. The more our spiritual hearts are ‘open’ and operating fully, the more we are able to experience Love. Medically, when the heart stops, the person dies. Metaphorically, when the spiritual heart shuts down, the person may describe his/her feelings as, “I feel as if something inside of me has died.” As an attempt to restart a stopped heart, doctors may try to massage or stimulate the heart muscle. Can we also do this metaphorically? How can we connect (or reconnect) with our spiritual hearts and then stay connected? All the great mystics and spiritual teachers say it is through meditation, study and service that we can connect and stay connected to our spiritual hearts, and thus experience Divine Love. Also, any personal growth or spiritual workshops we participate in can help us open (or re-open) our hearts. My own spiritual teacher says anything we do which brings us closer to God and thus ‘connects’ us to our spiritual hearts is to be repeated as often as possible, and, on the other hand, those things that take us away from God are better to avoid as much as possible. Often times we connect with our spiritual hearts but then lose the connection, and find ourselves scrambling around trying to get the connection back once more. In the Winnie-the-Pooh stories, Eeoyre, the donkey, is always losing his tail. Once Christopher Robin, the little boy in the story, noticed it was missing and so went and informed Eeoyre. Eeorye replied, “Just what I figured.” And then when Christopher Robin found Eeoyre’s tail, he Eureka continues on page 6
by Laura Kesten-Beaver, ILM Minister
I
f I were to ask you to, “Think of a heart” ... you may think of the organ, or of a heart shape, or of the color red, or the sound of the heartbeat. You may recall personal memories: your heart pounding against your chest when you’ve had to give a speech, or maybe when you’ve had a confrontation with someone, or when you were flirting with a new romance, or perhaps when you were experiencing fear for your safety. You may also think of ‘a heart’ in a different kind of way: you may remember a time when you felt a ‘heart connection’ with another human being, or with an animal, or nature, or God. You may also think of ‘phrases of the heart’: He died of a broken heart. My heart belongs to you. Two hearts beating as one. Home is where the heart is. In the heart of hearts. Heart to heart.
In the heart of God. Follow your heart. Get to the heart of it. My heart isn’t in it. Cold-hearted. Have a heart.
Thus we have the physical heart, and we also have the ‘spiritual heart’ — that which feels and expresses loving. How is it that ‘the heart’ stands for the deepest level of emotion? Why not the liver, or the spleen, or the kidneys? Why the heart? Do you remember the first time you saw an actual photo of the human heart? I do. I was probably eight or nine. I took one look at it and I totally rejected it. I was appalled that someone thought that this was the heart. It was ugly, didn’t have a ‘heart shape’, and was all bloody. I thought, “That’s what the heart looks like? That’s what all the fuss is about?” And then I began to learn about the function of the human heart. In the developing fetus, the heart is the first organ to begin to develop. The heart is the muscle which pumps blood rich in oxygen and nutrients to all other organs and tissues throughout the entire body. Then as the blood is pumped back again, it takes on increased levels of carbon dioxide and waste from 2
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES
CALENDAR
CLASSES & PROGRAMS: DECEMBER 1999 - APRIL 2000 PRESENTED BY JIM GORDON:
For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992
W
EEKLY
CLASSES:
Jim’s weekly Austin class is held Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm,
ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg., 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100, Austin, TX.
Each class includes spiritual teaching, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation. Jim helps participants to become more deeply in touch with the Spirit within.
PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: For additional information, call Laura at 512-894-0992
D
RUMMING IN THE
YEAR 2000: Folks who haven’t yet made plans for New Year’s Eve
1999 may be interested to learn of a global drumming party. People in cities and towns around the world will drum together in unison for the final hours of 1999 as a means of affirming their visualization for the coming Millennium. As they drum, an affirmation of their collective vision for Unity will be read in every major language of the world. The event honors the International Decade of the World’s Indigenous Peoples, declared by the United Nations as 1994-2004. This event was originally conceived by the All One Tribe Foundation of Taos, New Mexico. We, in Dripping Springs, have been added to the long list of cities and towns participating in this wonderous and extraordinary celebration. With or without a drum, join us for this very special occasion. There is no charge. FRI., DEC. 31
8 pm
Laura and Tom’s Residence, Dripping Springs
L
ISTEN TO THE DRUM—POTLUCK: Continuing into the Year 2000, we celebrate by participating in a drumming circle around a fire. Not necessary to bring a drum. A vegetarian dish to share is requested. There is no charge.
FRI., JAN. 7
7 pm - 10 pm
Laura and Tom’s Residence, Dripping Springs
A C IRCLE OF WOMEN:
Monthly gathering. This evening is specially dedicated in the celebration of ancient woman spirit, where women join together to experience the support of an uplifting, nurturing, and self-empowering circle. The following events will be held from 7-9 pm at the ILM Center, Austin, TX. There is no charge. Please mark your calendar: FRI., FRI., FRI., FRI.,
JAN . 14 FEB. 18 MAR. 24 APR. 21
– – – –
Building a Medicine Wheel. Sacred Path Cards to aid in your personal journey. Awakening Memory. Listen to the Music with your whole body, heart, and mind.
W
THE RITER WITHIN: This workshop is designed to engage us, The Writers, in communicating more naturally between emotion-and-thought and pen-and-paper, thereby unfolding more of who we are. The emphasis is on the process, not on form, technique, or product. A safe environment is created for both the writer and sharer. SAT., FEB. 26
10:00 am - 4:00 pm Laura and Tom’s Residence, Dripping Springs
$15
Laura’s Calendar continues on next page
3
(This pullout ILM Calendar continues on pages 4, 5 and 6.)
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: (CONTINUED) For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992
A
this 2 1/2 day retreat we will explore techniques in forJ giving andTlettingF go. As part of:thisInprocess, we will view the ‘98 Sundance Award Winning OURNEY
O
ORGIVENESS
Film’, Smoke Signals, which portrays one man’s journey to forgiving his father, and use this as a vehicle to explore more deeply our own unforgiven issues. We have selected an exclusive venue, GilChrist, which provides a beautiful setting and a cozy non-traditional meeting room, to assist in promoting a safe and relaxed atmosphere.
MARCH 10-12
V
Fri, 7 pm – Sun, 1 pm
IEWING THE MOVIE,
FRI, APRIL 7
GilChrist, Three Rivers, MI
“SMOKE SIGNALS”
6:30 pm- 10:00 pm
WITH
$100
DISCUSSION AND POTLUCK:
Tom and Laura’s Residence, Dripping Springs
NC
• PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
W
EEKLY
CLASSES:
Steven’s weekly class is held on Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm, at
Unity Church, 3232 Crescent Ave., Ft. Wayne, IN.
Classes include spiritual teaching, music, meditation, practical application, and group sharing.
S
UNDAY
MYSTICAL BIBLE STUDY:
S
UNDAY
SERVICES: Steven conducts worship services as a guest for various churches and
Discover the mystical teachings in the Bible and how to apply them in your life. The following Sundays, 9:00 am - 10:00 am, at 6228 Lombard Place, Ft. Wayne, IN (please note that Sunday meetings are not held on the weekends when ILM workshops or retreats are scheduled; call Steven for up-to-date information). Families are welcome. Please mark your calendar: Dec. 5, 12, 19, 1999 Jan. 9, 23 and Feb. 6, 20 and Mar. 5, 12, 26, 2000
spiritual groups in the Ft. Wayne area. Please mark your calendar (call for additional programs scheduled after we went to press with this issue.): Dec. 12, 1999: Brigade of Light, 11:00 am worship service, YWCA Villa, Ft. Wayne, IN (followed by an afternoon workshop — see pg. 5, Festivals Of Lights.) Jan. 2, 2000: Unity Christ Church, 10:30 am worship service, Ft. Wayne, IN (followed by an afternoon workshop — see pg. 5, The New Millennium...Now What?) Jan. 9: Brigade of Light, 11:00 am worship service, YWCA Villa, Ft. Wayne, IN Jan. 30: Temple of Light & Love, 11:00 am service and workshop, Ft. Wayne, IN Feb. 20: Brigade of Light, 11:00 am worship service, YWCA Villa, Ft. Wayne, IN Note: Please be aware that new programs are often scheduled after the newsletter goes to press, and, in rare instances, published schedules may have to be altered. For current information on any event or series, please call the presenter or contact person listed with the program. Thank you. Steven’s Calendar continues on next page
4
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: (CONTINUED) For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
COMMUNITY NIGHTS:
The Ft. Wayne ILM “community” periodically gets together to share in potlucks, music nights, video nights, and outings. Most of these events are also suitable for children. They are usually scheduled spontaneously as an inspiration arises within the group. Please call Steven for current information. This year we will once again have our annual Christmas celebration in our home. Please join us in candlelit prayer, caroling, and sharing. Children are welcome; refreshments will be provided. Tues. Dec. 21
6:30 - 8:30 pm
6228 Lombard Place, Ft. Wayne, IN
No charge
WORKSHOPS, SEMINARS AND RETREATS:
FESTIVALS OF LIGHTS:
The Festival of Lights, or Hanukkah, concluded yesterday around the world for Jews, lighting candles of remembrance and dedication. Two weeks from now, Christians all over the globe will be lighting Christmas trees and decorating their homes with brightly colored lights, to remember and celebrate Christ. Why the emphasis on light during spiritual holidays? What can it teach us about the Inner Light? How can we create a festival within our spirit, so that we can radiate light into the world of our everyday lives? Dec. 12
1:00 - 4:00 pm
YWCA Villa Ft. Wayne, IN
M
Donation
THE NEW ILLENNIUM I S HERE — N OW W HAT ?: I will be the guest speaker at Unity Christ Church at 10:30 am talking on this subject. The morning session will be followed by a potluck and seminar. We should have a lively and enlightening discussion, as we enter the time period so many people have spoken of for so long. Jan. 2
10:30 - 4:00 pm
2000
Unity Christ Church, Ft. Wayne, IN
Donation
ILENCE RETREAT: Listen to the quiet, pristine winter beauty from the warmth of your S own cozy cabin at GilChrist... Listen to others sharing their experiences of silence and the spiritual
value it has in their lives... Listen to the quiet song of love within your soul... There is a sacred Presence behind all our activity, beneath all our words, hidden within all our hearts. Come share it with us. Jan. 14-16 Fri., 7:30 pm- Sun. 2:30 pm
GilChrist, Three Rivers, MI
$100
PARTNERS IN LOVE — A R
ETREAT FOR C OUPLES ONLY : From the statement in Genesis, “Male and female He created them...” to Rob and Laura Petrie’s interactions on the old Dick Van Dyke television comedy show, our similarities and differences have fascinated us. This weekend we will focus on nurturing and enjoying each other. We will watch some excerpts of Rob and Laura’s classic exchanges, have a few playful surprises, share with each other and enjoy time alone as couples. In addition to housing at Gilchrist, we will also have space available at Repino, a lovely home recently converted into a personal retreat space, just down the road from Gilchrist. The moment I first walked into the Repino house, I felt enfolded and nurtured within a prevailing sense of peace and restfulness. I hope you will too.
Feb. 11-13 Fri. 7:30 pm- Sun. 3:00 pm
GilChrist, Three Rivers, MI
$200/couple
Steven’s Calendar continues on next page
5
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: (CONTINUED) For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
M
CHRIST:
This is a new program of prayers, meditation practices, rituals, and exercises to enhance awareness of the indwelling Spirit. All the practices come out of the Jewish and Christian mystical traditions common in the days of Jesus. In addition to our studies, we will be singing songs and doing circle dances outdoors. You will also be given time on your own to experience the 350 acres of beauty and serenity at Yarrow. And all our meals will be prepared especially for our group by a gourmet chef! YSTICAL
Mar. 18-19
Sat. 10:00 am- Sun. 3:00 pm
A
Yarrow Augusta, MI
$135
NEW TAPE BY JIM GORDON
Guardian Angels In this tape Jim Gordon discusses guardian angels and their relationships to you, your High Self and your Basic Self.
AND RECENT TAPES:
Angels
Soul vs Ego In this tape Jim speaks of the differences between the Soul and the ego and how a person can gain more awareness of Self as a Soul.
In this tape Jim shares his experiences of angels, describing guardian angels, archangels, healing angels and much more.
Abundance I
Aundance II In this tape Jim continues his sharing of ways to create and manifest greater abundance in one’s life.
In this tape Jim shares simple techniques one can use to create and manifest greater abundance in one’s life.
To Order: Each tape is $8.95 (Please include $3 per order for shipping and handling.) Checks may be made payable to Inner Light Ministries and sent to: Inner Light Ministries, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, Texas 78716-4332. Please include your name, address and phone number. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. by Jim Gordon
by Laura Kesten-Beaver
Expansion continued
Eureka continued
share myself with others. I do this for myself because I have found that each time I do, I open more to experiencing my loving and my creativity. What others get from my sharing is up to them — I no longer look outside myself and use whether I am accepted as confirmation that I am OK. I accept myself, I like myself and I love myself and that is all that matters for me. I learn from my expansion and I learn from my contraction as well.
helped him put it back in place by nailing it on. Eeoyre said, “Thanks for helping me, but it’ll probably fall off again.” So true is Eeyore’s statement. We tend to lose our tails, or our connection with our spiritual hearts, now and again, and then have to find it once again. Connecting with our spiritual hearts is a lifelong process. First we have it... then we don’t .... got it .... there it goes ... got it — EUREKA! ... . 6
THE LOOK OF LOVE not seek or run after others, but reserve the deepest intimacies of our bodies and hearts for our spouse alone. And when we do give of ourselves to our spouse, it becomes a kind of surrender, a giving of all that we are, because we have come to trust the one who will receive us. In our “giving” comes a joy and peace that we never experienced in all our acts of indulgences with the intention of “getting” in mind. The greater our mutual commitment, the greater our heart’s assurance and the more profound the intimacy. We experience the astonishing revelation that it is in the giving of self that self is truly fulfilled. So what about our spiritual life, our mystical marriage with the Lord? What does it mean to be His “bride?” It seems to me that it again means to make a commitment, one to the other. Mutually binding, mutually beneficial. Not only do I become his, He also becomes mine. The Lord then is my partner in life — not only in the critical or special moments, but constantly each day, in all things. I depend on Him and trust his word. I thrill at his touch, delight in keeping his company, and long to hear his voice. I seek out his thoughts and feelings, longing to know his heart. I begin to keep myself only for Him, no longer being so enticed by and running after the “lovers” of pride, fear, anger, and despair, whose beds I have so often shared. I run to Him, even more than to my earthly spouse. I discover that it is safe to give myself to Him. I confess that at present I am only “courting” the Lord, but I have dreams of that “mystical marriage” in my soul. Perhaps, when that day comes, I shall finally learn that my intimacy with Him grows not as I seek to get more and more from Him, but as my heart longs more and more to give to Him, my one and only, my Beloved. Will I then become, like the woman I know, one whose eyes shine with joy and gratitude every time I look at Him?
by Steven McAfee, ILM Midwest Coordinator
T
here is a woman I know who loves her husband. He loves her as well, of course, and it is such a joy to be in the presence of this couple, to feel their faith in and love for one another. But the image I have whenever I think of them is of her eyes when she looks at him — not just when they are speaking to each other, but most especially when they are not, when he does not even realize she is looking at him. There is such a look of love and adoration, of such complete trust and overwhelming gratitude, that I often find my own heart swelling and tears of joy coming into my eyes. He is, so clearly, her one and only, her beloved. And she is his. Seeing them brings to life for me the multitude of images from writings such as the Songs of Songs, Sufi love poetry, and those of mystics throughout the ages sharing their unbridled love for God, in what has often been referred to as the “mystical marriage,” the conscious and intentional union of the soul with its Maker. Seeing this couple brings to mind the many times Jesus used the symbology of the bride and groom, to teach his followers about the love between the Lord and the soul. Can we learn of the mystical marriage from our earthly marriages? When we marry, we make a commitment, one to the other. Mutually binding, mutually beneficial. Our spouse becomes our partner in life from now on — not only occasionally, not only in the critical moments, but each and every day, in every facet of our life. We know we can depend on our spouse. We can trust our spouse’s word. Our hearts thrill at our spouse’s touch, take delight in our spouse’s company, and long to hear our spouse’s thoughts and feelings. We are faithful to one another. We do 7
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER ABOUT ILM INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES (ILM) is a nonprofit outreach organization founded in the fundamental principles of ancient esoteric Christianity. It is dedicated to the development and balancing of the fourfold nature of the individual. Towards this goal, it provides education and services concerned with the integration of the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical aspects of the self, and also provides publications and materials that aid in this process. Among its fundamental tenets is that we really are “temples of the Holy Spirit.” As we seek and express this presence within, we find the peace, love, power, and wisdom we all so earnestly desire. The many services of ILM are geared towards this path of individual unfoldment—such as meditation, study, and prayer on an individual and group basis.
ILM:
from Guardian
Angels by Jim Gordon
(See Tape Ad on Page 6.) “Guardian Angels are very real. They’re very present. They’re ever serving you. They’re ever with you. They’re ever protecting you. They want the best for you. And they’re ever there to bring awarenesses to you. But you’ve got to go inside and allow those awarenesses to come forward. They don’t come on TV and they don’t come over the radio and they don’t come in a book. They come as whispers. They come as inspiration.” - Jim Gordon
Service to humanity and the planet is ILM’s second major emphasis, and ILM encourages individual service, in any of a wide variety of possible forms, as a vital aspect of our daily experience. Please write or phone for more information.
Executive Office: Jim Gordon, 203 Buckeye Trail, Austin, TX 78746; Business Office: Tom Beaver, P.O. Box 1086, Dripping Springs, TX 78620; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, 6228 Lombard Place, Fort Wayne, IN 46815
Inner Light Ministries logo
EXCERPT
Editorial and Publishing Office P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332 Phone: (512) 894-0992
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