INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Journal
Staying Present
Volume 26 Number 3
T
by Jim Gordon, President of ILM (from a letter to an Initiate)
he ego was formed out of reaction and is continually fed by reaction. It came forward out of the mind in reaction to things in the world that made us feel unsafe and threatened. The ego will always run in reaction to the world and to the people in the world. Being in such reaction does not allow for our best work and expression to come forward. When the energy of reaction comes into balance, the ego dissolves, and the energy that has been locked up in ego expression of protection, self-centeredness, and trying to get above others, will begin to dissipate. It can be challenging when we first begin to go inside and meditate, because the ego may suddenly feel threatened. That part of the ego will eventually die in some way, but the good news is that the knowledge, the strength and determination of the ego will live on. These qualities of the ego will be used by the soul to fulfill us inside and in the world in greater ways, rather then in the familiar, empty motives that the ego most often thrives on. We can, then, move more easily into the flow of Loving and service, and awaken to the truth of who we are as Soul.
December 2014
that will make the process easier. It is up to you to continue to choose into this new place inside you; it is up to you to allow the ego to weaken by no longer feeding it, nurturing it, and giving it authority over you. It truly is your choice. The thing to do is to love the warm loving place inside you and feed that with the loving, rather then feeding the ego. Truly the greatest way to rise above the ego is through meditation. Meditation takes us above the ego and mind, and allows the energy of the ego to be moved into new and better ways of expression and action action rather than reaction. Remember, the ego was formed out of reaction and is continually fed by reaction. Lifting up above the reactive mind and ego, and allowing our selves to live more in the active flow of the loving of the soul, is the way to let go of the ego. We created the ego through our reactions to the world, and it is up to us to take action, to let go of the reaction, and to stand free of the ego. And yes, the ego will ever try to run our lives and do everything it can to keep us off balance so it stays alive and strong, but it’s up to us to change all of this.
The thing to realize is that when the ego that has been driving us, that has tied up our energy, begins to dissolve, we will be able to express ourselves in greater ways through the natural flow of Loving that we truly are.
The loving that you see in yourself, and have seen in others is ever present; it is up to you to choose to live more from that place rather than from the ego, the mind, and your reactions. We are the Loving. You are the Loving, and it is up to you to keep choosing into the “true you” and letting go of the worldly you. Once you have seen this part that is the true you, you will find that it will soon become easier and easier to keep choosing into the true you. The challenge will be, of course, to stay ever present and handle what is right now in front of you in every moment.
That very warm part of you that you talked about is you becoming aware and is truly the loving place of the soul’s expression. The ego is beginning to align so that the soul’s true expression is coming forward. Now that you know the difference it will be easier for you to choose into that loving warm place inside you and it will be easier to let go of the hard place that is of the ego. You now know you have a choice, and
Do what you can to be in loving with it all. You are the one who can make the changes and do things differently. So rather than going into old patterns of the unconscious and of the reactive ego that only keeps you caught up in the world and feeling limited, remember the key is to stay present, see what’s happening right now, and then make conscious choices that will keep you more and more in the Loving.
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Our Relationship With God
by Brian Yeakey, Vice President of ILM
editation opens the door to Spirit. Once that door is open, we can be waking up and aware at any time, not just during meditation, but also throughout the day and in our sleep state. Once that door is open, it’s open. Spirit can move in us and through us at any time, anywhere.
That’s what we all want in our relationships, isn’t it? We want our love to be reciprocated. Do we think God is any different? It’s that reciprocation of giving and receiving that enlivens and brings us awake to the divine presence. That’s something only the soul can do. It isn’t anything the mind can do. We can’t visualize or imagine this. Those faculties may be able to give us an idea or a direction, but eventually we have to actually do the relationship. The key is to hold our focus on God and not be distracted.
One of the principals of the way Spirit works is Ask and you shall receive. By you asking, it actually opens that spiritual door. If we are ever holding that door closed, there’s no space or opportunity to receive from Spirit or give to Spirit. Just like any relationship in the world where it’s up to us to receive love and give love, it’s the same way with God. It truly is a relationship, but rather than experiencing through the heart center as we do with our relationships with others, our direct relationship with God is through the spiritual eye center, in and up through the spiritual door.
The mind is a complicated element that we have to constantly bring into alignment. When the mind kicks in during meditation, pulling on us, distracting us, and we lose our focus, the door slams shut. It’s similar to being in a conversation with someone where you are holding the focus, eye-to-eye, listening and sharing; then, something distracts you and breaks the focus. When we are distracted in meditation, we’ll often say, “I don’t feel the peace. I don’t see the purple light. I don’t hear the inner sound. I’m not experiencing the Loving.”
This relationship is a different type of action and so it requires a different way of communicating. Communication, in this sense, is communion-in-action, because it’s really more a communion of Loving done through the soul, through the spirit, and not one done through words, or through the mind, imagination, or emotion. We can think about God, imagine God, have feelings toward God, but none of these ways will truly develop a relationship with God. These expressions are our own internal dialogue and process by which we are attempting to move into a direct communion with God. It’s important to understand the distinction here. Many people practice prayer or other means to be in relationship with God, but very often these ways are a mental process. What we want to do here is begin to move beyond the mentalizing and move into a direct true relationship.
A daily practice of meditation gives us the opportunity to open the door so we do start to experience the Loving or see the light or hear the sound. And, as we know, it takes great effort to bring our attention back and engage in a conversation again once we’ve been distracted. It’s that same effort that we want to put forth in meditation, inside, with God. So, keep bringing your attention back to the spiritual eye center, even if you have to do it a hundred times during your meditation. Eventually, maintaining your focus will get easier and easier, and being distracted by outer things or by the mind will become less and less.
(from England Meeting, 10/16/13)
We must do our best in holding the focus, placing all of our attention on God, with God, in God, and in that experience of God. This truly is the way to live more in that divine flow of Loving. It’ll take focus and great effort to learn to hold the focus and learn to participate in the Loving. The wonderful thing is that the more we open and move into that exchange with Spirit, then the mind, emotions, imagination, and body come into a greater alignment; and we’ll find greater peace and a greater ease in our lives. Of course, this takes time.
In any relationship we need to both share and listen, and we need to give and receive. It’s the same with having a direct true relationship with God. Don’t just expect God to give you everything; also, be willing to give to God. And what does God want? Our love. 2
INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES
CALENDAR
Classes & Programs: Winter – Spring ‘15 Presented by Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey in Austin, Texas:
M
For additional information, call 512-306-1056.
onthly
Classes:
Jim and Brian’s meeting is held once a month on the following Sundays,
at the Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX (see directions below).
Monthly meetings include spiritual teachings, Q&A, and meditation. Jim and Brian assist participants to become more deeply aware of the Spirit within. No charge.
Please take note of the dates for the ILM Monthly Classes:
Sunday, DEC 14 at LTEC: - Potluck: 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6:30 pm* 2015: JAN 11 will be at Bill Stratton’s home (email billstratton@ilm.org for directions) Class: 2-4 pm (Recorded meditation and talk.) 2015 Sundays at LTEC: FEB 15, MAR 22, APR 12 - Class with Q&A: 1-6 pm*
Directions to Lake Travis Event Center (LTEC), 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX. From N. Austin/Round Rock: FM 620/ RR 620. Road name changes to FM 620 West/RR 620 West. Take ramp left and follow signs to TX 45 TOLL West. Take ramp for FM 620 W/RR 620 W. Continue on FM 620/RR 620. Arrive at 411 RR 620 South, Lakeway TX. From South Austin: Take TX-1 Loop South. Take ramp right to TX 71 West/US 290 toward Johnson City and Llano. Take ramp to TX 290 West/71 West. Keep straight on US 290 West/71 West. Keep right on TX 71 West. Turn right on FM 620 South. Continue on FM RR 620 South. Arrive at 411 RR 620 South, Lakeway TX.
For additional information, call Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or email lauradoggett@ilm.org.
* Ending times are approximate.
3
(ILM Calendar continues on pages 4-9 & 14)
Experiencing The Divine Meditative Retreat
facilitated by Jim
Gordon and Brian Yeakey
2015
The focus of E
xperiencing xperiencing the the Divine ivine Meditative editative Retreat etreat is on meditation and the Path
of Sound and Light. Each day, we will spend two and a half hours in meditation, as well as participate in other meditative exercises, sharings, and question and answer sessions. This retreat is open to all individuals who are interested in meditation and the Path of Sound and Light, as we present it through Inner Light Ministries.
Austin Event Week March 21-29, 2015
March 21:
Initiates’ Meeting
1-6 pm* (For Initiates Only)
Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX. (See directions on page 3.)
Open Sunday Meeting
March 22:
Class with Q&A: 1-6 pm*
Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, TX. (See directions on page 3.)
ILM Community Night
March 23:
5-9 pm*
13210 Calf Roping Trail, Austin (See information on page 6.)
& March 25-29:
Experiencing The Divine Meditative Retreat Retreat facilitated by Jim
Gordon and Brian Yeakey
$670/person for double occupancy & $850/person for single occupancy
At the Purple Sage Ranch, Bandera, TX: Time of Events: Wednesday, March 25 at 4 pm thru Sunday, March 29 at 3 pm.*
Please make sure you have registered and paid the balance of your registration fee on or before February 24, 2015.
To Register Contact: Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or email Laura at ilmadmin@ilm.org or register on our website at ilm.org.
* Ending times are approximate. 4
(Experiencing The Divine continues on next page)
Experiencing The Divine Meditative Retreat 2015 in Fort Wayne: Manchester’s Cost:
at Manchester University:
Registration fee: $50/person deposit required to register $250/person for double occupancy $325/person for single occupancy (limited availability)
Time of Events:
on Wednesday, May 20 at 4 pm thru Sunday, May 24 at 3 pm.*
Please make sure you have registered and paid the balance of your registration fee on or before May 1.
To register contact: Steven McAfee at 260-485-2167 or email Steven at stevenmcafee@ilm.org.
in Hawaii: at Saint Anthony’s Retreat Center Honolulu, Hawaii:
St. Anthony’s Cost:
on Wednesday, July 15 at 4 pm thru Sunday, July 19 at 3 pm.*
Double Occupancy (per person) - TBA
For more information contact: Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or email Laura at ilmadmin@ilm.org.
If you would like to support ILM’s Scholarship Fund, please see the back page regarding donations.
in England: at Dunford House, Heyshott, Midhurst, West Sussex: on Wednesday, October 7 at 4 pm thru Sunday, October 11 at 3 pm.*
Dunford House Cost: TBA
For more information contact: Susanne Cook at 44 1444 871316. To register contact: Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or email Laura at ilmadmin@ilm.org.
* Ending times are approximate. 5
(ILM Calendar continues on next page)
I nner L Light M inistries Calendar in Austin:
ILM Community ommunity Potluck otluck Nights ights:
These community nights are intended for the ILM spiritual community to gather together in loving friendship at Laura Kesten’s home on the 1st Saturday of every month for fun, laughter, and great food. Everyone is welcome. Bring a dish if you want to add to the potluck. Starts 5-5:30 pm. 13210 Calf Roping Trail, Austin Park on the street or at the pool/park and walk a short block. JAN 3, FEB 7, MAR 7, APR 4, MAY 2 For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-658-4117, or email laurakesten@ilm.org.
Christmas Potluck Party: Join us for ILM’s Christmas celebration on Saturday, DEC 13
The Christmas celebration begins
at 4 pm at the Lake Travis Event Center, 411 Ranch Road 620 South in Lakeway, Texas. (See directions on page 3.) Everyone is welcome. It’s a potluck so bring a dish to share.
Welcome to Inner Light Ministries Introductory Packet
In this packet you will find: ILM’s book, Love and Loving; the CD, An Introduction To ILM;
the CD, Understanding The ‘Inner’ Pathway; the CD, Lotus Meditation; ILM’s brochure, Inner Light Ministries Guidelines For Initiation And Initiates; and a copy of our latest newsletter.
All of these materials have been selected to give the newcomer a better understanding of who we are and what we’re about. If you would like an Introductory Packet for yourself, or someone else, just let us know. Call us, email us, or write us! Feel free to take a look at our website, too: www.ilm.org (see more information on page 10). We are happy to do what we can to assist you on your spiritual journey. Blessings of Peace, Joy and Loving To You! – Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, and the ILM Staff 6
(ILM Calendar continues on next page)
Holiday Events in Ft. Wayne:
Coins For Kids
Our Midwest Coins For Kids Christmas service project is coming up ...
Come join the jolly ILM “elves” as we shop and wrap for our local adopted Christmas family!
Shopping Night will be on MONDAY, DEC 1. Meet at 7 pm at Wal-Mart on Coldwater Rd. Please RSVP stevenmcafee@ilm.org if you can join the shopping elves!
Gift-Wrapping Night will be on WEDNESDAY, DEC 3. Meet at 6:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. Pizzas and sodas will be provided. Extra bows, boxes, gift tags, and tape are always welcome!
C°c
Christmas Party: Join us for the Festival of Light celebration on SATURDAY, DEC 13 at 7 pm Come light up the night! Join us for feasting and singing and making the season bright at the ILM Christmas Party. This is not a potluck, but be prepared to eat! The meal is our way of welcoming our ILM family to our “holiday home” in gratitude for the loving you bring us all year round. The gift of your presence is all that is needed to make the celebration complete! At Steven & Anita’s home in Fort Wayne. Everyone is welcome!
Send Us Your E-mail Address, Choose Green Journals, and Update Mail S ince we are doing our best to communicate with our ILM members through the internet, please send
(or update) your email address to your local representative, or to Laura Doggett at ilmadmin@ilm.org.
Also, if you would like to forego the paper route and published please let us know. Each time a new send an email notification with a link to download address and put “Choose Green Journal”
receive an email notification when the ILM Journal is Journal becomes available (3 times per year) we will the latest Journal in PDF format. Send us your email in the subject to ilmadmin@ilm.org.
Finally, if we don’t have your mailing address, or you’ve had any recent address changes, please notify your local representative or email that information to ilmadmin@ilm.org. 7
(ILM Calendar continues on next page)
I nner L Light M inistries Calendar Presented by Steven McAfee, Midwest Area Coordinator: For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167 or email stevenmcafee@ilm.org. ILM Midwest Center: 220 Insurance Drive, Ste F, Fort Wayne, IN 46825
uesday Class Series: Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes intended to awaken and inspire T our loving devotion to God. Each class begins with a meditation and then moves into a period of spiritual
sharing. The classes are open to anyone. Please call Steven for more information. TUESDAYS
7-8:30 pm
ILM Midwest Center
Donation
C
ILM ommunity Nights : More fun community events are on their way! Please RSVP the week before so we can plan appropriately.
Munchies & Game Night: Bring your favourite munchies to share and your favorite board game to play! Beverages will be provided. Some games will already be there, too. FEB 28 7-9:30 pm Munchies/Game Night
ILM Midwest Center Donation
Child At Heart: These programs are opportunities for children and the people who love them to come participate in fun activities together in ILM. DEC 6 FEB 8 APR 3
2-4:30 pm Cookie Decorating/Polar Express 2-3:30 pm Be My Valentine 2-3:30 pm EGG-stravaganza
ILM Midwest Center Donation ILM Midwest Center Donation ILM Midwest Center Donation
V
S pecial ideo Conferences: Live from Austin! Special live video presentations with Jim and Brian via the magic of technology! See YOU at the ILM Center. FEB 3, APR 7, JUN 2 7-9:30 pm
ILM Midwest Center
Donation
S S : T F T J – The 2015 WTP proT P : AY W gram will consist of learning to apply practical spiritual tools in our daily lives to assist us on our journey alking
he
ath
ear of
elf
tudy
ools
or
he ourney
homeward. In addition to the regular Sunday afternoon monthly meetings, there will be periodic day-long Saturday workshops. There is no requirement to attend all the meetings to participate in the program. While the program is designed as a year-long study, it is NOT necessary to attend every month to benefit from it. No charge. Donations are welcome.
JAN 4, MAR 1, APR 12 2-4:30 pm FEB 7 9:30-4:30 pm
Regular Meeting Day-long Meeting
ILM Midwest Center ILM Midwest Center
No charge No charge
S : Steven occasionally serves as a guest speaker for Brigade of Light and other S spiritual groups in the Midwest. The following is presently scheduled: unday
ervices
FEB 1, APR 5 JAN 11, APR 19
A
11 am 10:30 am
Brigade of Light Unity of Fort Wayne
State Street, Fort Wayne, IN Donation Crescent Street, Fort Wayne, IN Donation
joyful community is a reflection of the joyous experience of Spirit.
8
– Brian Yeakey (ILM Worldwide Calendar continues on next page)
I nner L Light M inistries Calendar Community ILM Meetings & Events Worldwide:
•
Kalamazoo:
Call Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 or email jg.richards@charter.net.
S G : Please call Judy at (269) 349-3943 or email jg.richards@charter.net for S more information. Meetings are combined with a potluck each month – yummy! unday
tudy
roups
JAN 25, FEB 22, MAR 22, APR 26
•
Dallas/Fort Worth:
M
eeting:
4715 Thistle Mill Court
No charge
Call Tonya Toth at 817-247-4887 or email tashlen72@yahoo.com.
The meetings schedule has not been formed as of yet and hope to update soon.
Call for schedule
•
12:30-4 pm
Deerfield Beach:
Dallas/Fort Worth
No charge
Call Victoria Eng at 954-682-3244 to RSVP and get dates and directions.
: The focus of each evening is on spiritual awakening and connecting to the Loving through M listening to an ILM meditation and talk by Jim and Brian. eeting
Alternate Wednesdays
•
Hawaii:
M
Deerfield Beach, Florida
No charge
Call Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509, or 551-3123 (cell) for dates and directions.
editation:
Twice a month gathering for a two and a half hour meditation.
Call for schedule
•
6 pm
London, England:
Manoa Valley, Honolulu
No charge
Call Nanna Brincker at 0207-485-0699 for directions.
: Join us for a 2-hour meditation at 42A Montpelier Grove London NW5 2XE, or join us on M skype at 4 pm for the meditation (log on 10 minutes before). Please let Nanna know your skype name. eeting
DEC 14, JAN 4 & 25, FEB 15, MAR 8 & 29, APR 19 (Sundays)
4 pm
No charge
(NEW ILM Hawaii Calendar continues on page 14)
AVAILABLE ON OUR WEBSITE:
Gathering Love Words of Wisdom
by
G
od first,
God only.
– Jim Gordon A collection of quotes Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today! Created by Ani McAfee 9
New CD - Living In Grace
W
ould you like to live in Grace? Constantly?
Take up meditation and chant the Sacred Name throughout the day. It is simply remembering this action, choosing into it, focusing on the inward and upward movement of Spirit, then, sharing your loving with God and receiving God’s loving for you. This all takes place purely through the repetition of the Sacred Name. We ask that you keep the Sacred Name unspoken, to chant it silently inside, because it truly is an inner movement of Spirit that is always inside of you all the time; so, whether your body is awake or asleep, you can participate in this action of Spirit anytime you wish. As for the rest of the time, just observe and enjoy the ride, even when it sucks. You’ll learn that even this part is an important part of the journey. In this world, believe me, the difficult parts are often a greater motivator than when things are really nice and pleasant. They can help us get our butts in gear and do the meditation. And in this, we anchor Grace in our consciousness, allowing it to live in us and through us, liberating our souls, so that we can return back into literally the very Heart of God. - Brian Yeakey For a complete listing of ILM Products and ordering information see the next page, or go to the ILM website (see below) for more information.
ILM.org — the Inner Light Ministries Website NEW ON OUR WEBSITE:
K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Soul KISS is a series of weekly studies in which you can follow along and continue to grow in your spiritual development. The selected excerpts, from Jim’s and Brian’s talks on Meditation and this Path, are designed to help keep our focus on our spiritual journey throughout the day. Each week, read a selection, contemplate on its meaning, and begin to apply it in your life, both inwardly and outwardly. There are no posted dates for the weeks so whenever you start, begin with Week 1 and progress from there. Go to our website, click on “About Us”; then, click on K.I.S.S. from the sidebar, and EUREKA!.
Example from KISS - Week 5:
The Tools of LAF – Loving, Acceptance, and Forgiveness. LAF works in different and wonderful ways for each person. It’s an action that we can apply to things happening right now, in this moment, as well as with the past, and even with our thoughts and fears we hold for the future. Try different tools at different times; and if one tool is not bringing you into the flow of Spirit, then pick up another one. See what works best for you. What’s important is to move back into the Loving as soon as possible. As long as we’re in a physical body - reactions, distractions, attachments, fantasies, and judgments will all still occur. Being on the Path of Sound and Light, doing a practice of daily meditation, and implementing LAF into every situation, past or present, is key to living our lives differently. Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today! 10
Inner Light Ministries A Path Of Sound And Light ® ILM Audio CDs
Living In Grace The Answer Is God Action Of The Radiant Form Keep It Simple Soul The Sacred Name Of God, Karmic Completion, and Spiritual Awakening The Greater Action Of Freedom And Liberation Know Your Self As God Knows You Fulfillment Through Loving Communion In Action The Story Of Creation Living Spirit In This Physical Creation Living Your Loving, Fulfilling Your Creativity My Journey Of Becoming A Spiritual Teacher Fulfillment Of The Soul An Introduction To ILM* The Action Of Initiation and The Power Of The Name Discipleship* Simplicity and Journaling* The Action Of Giving And Receiving* Enter Into The Journey Of Loving* The Pathway As A Classroom*
NEW
To order please place a check mark (or a “2” if you want 2 of any title) next to the title of the CD of your choice(s) below. You can also place
an order at ILM’s website, www.ILM.org.
Returning Back Into Spirit* Loving Who You Are* To Be Or Not To Be* The Living Loving Essence* The Tenth Door* Becoming Soul Liberated* ILM’s Toolbox: LAF* Wake Up, Wake Up!* The Three Fold Path* The Pearl Of Great Price* A Simple Way — The Path Of ILM Understanding The ‘Inner’ Pathway The Path Of Sound And Light Waking Up In Spirit What Separates Us From Our Loving A Frequency Of Change For A New Millennium A Soul’s Journey (Manifesting) Abundance I } CD Set (Manifesting) Abundance II Keys to Inner Communication You as a Communicator, You as a Creator and A Meditation The Levels To Soul And Beyond Our Right Relationship With God The Path Of Neutrality Lord, Make Me Worthy and The Master In Your Heart
(2014) (2014) (2010) (2013) (2008) (2012) (2007) (2007) (2009) (1998) (2005) (2010) (2009) (2007) (2009) (2008) (2006) (2005) (2007) (2006) (2006)
* This CD set includes a Meditation and Talk.
The Spiritual Path Meditation by Jim Gordon The Heart Of God Meditation by Brian Yeakey
CD Set {
Love and Loving (Revised)
The Knowing of God (Revised)
Meditations by Jim Gordon This CD is the remastering of the tape “Two Meditations” with the addition of the “Golden Pool” meditation.
Order Information & Postage Payment Since ILM is a spiritual pathway that is here to assist each person on their journey, our products are all available free of charge. You are welcome to order as many of the titles as you wish with the understanding that we will send you up to two of each item per order. There is a charge of $1.00 per item to cover shipping costs. In addition, donations towards replenishing the CDs and books are gratefully accepted. Checks may be made payable to Inner Light Ministries and sent to: Inner Light Ministries, PO Box 164332, Austin, Texas 78716.
(2000) (1999) (1997) (1997) (1992) (1992) (1991) (1991) (1990) (1985)
ILM Books
CDs On Meditation Lotus Meditation by Jim Gordon
(2006) (2006) (2006) (2005) (2005) (2005) (1999) (2005) (2003) (2003) (2003) (2003) (2002) (2001) (2001)
The Staff of the Shepherd (Revised)
Gathering Love - Words Of Wisdom
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Q& A
with Jim and Brian
Q:
Before, you had all these other distractions that kept you from being aware of the imbalance that was taking place inside. You kept pulling it back out and saying, “Well, it’s their fault, it’s that situation,” and you really didn’t get to live the truth of what was going on inside yourself. Now, you can’t be distracted anymore because there is no outer distraction; instead, you get the joy of bringing all the inner into balance.
Recently, I sold my house, and finally accepted that my ex didn’t do the divorce the way I wanted it done. I was able to forgive him and let it all go. But, what I’m noticing now is that I’m turning on myself. There’s no ex out there for me to blame so instead, I’m turning against myself. Am I going to have to work LAF on myself for the rest of my life? A: (Jim) You’ve spent many years getting to this point, so it’ll take time to move through it all. Because you have cleared a lot of the outer, the attachment on the outer focus isn’t as great; where your focus is now going is to yourself and to the inner. The world out there is a reflection; the world inside is the truth. By going in and loving it all, loving the positive and the negative that you’re running inside, you’ll come into balance, and that’s when you’ll become self-aware. Self-awareness is a phase of the action of awakening. You have to first awaken to your own self of the physical world (the mind, emotions, imagination, and body), and then awaken to Soul, which will lead you into spiritual awareness.
Q: I was so happy and excited that all that was gone, and now I just feel so sad inside seeing my true stuff and that I have to deal with now A: (Jim) You were sad before, but you were blaming the outer for your sadness. Now, you’re beginning to deal with the sadness and the source of the sadness, which is inside of you. It had nothing to do with “them,” but you thought it did. In your transition from the outer to the inner, you got to experience a moment of bliss, a moment of grace, a moment of neutrality, and that’s the neutrality you’re going to live into more and more as you begin to bring all of it into balance. Then, you’ll live in the bliss fully.
You’re now moving through the different lower realms inside of yourself, so be grateful and rejoice in it because it’s a movement of awareness. A lot of people live unconsciously in this misery, but if you’re aware of it consciously, you can begin to take charge and bring it into balance. The key is to stand in neutrality, in the loving of it all; you love the good voice inside and you love the wicked voice inside. Loving will allow you to bring it into balance very quickly. You’ll soon become aware of yourself in a very different way, in a very different dynamic. Just the fact that you’ve shared what you’ve shared is a level of self-awareness. That self-awareness will grow and take you higher inside yourself until you really begin to become aware of yourself as Soul, and then, you’ll become aware of your soul in Spirit.
You now have a reference point so keep referencing back to what that “happy” was and draw that into your life. Remember, it’s all about the inner, so don’t go out there and blame them again; take responsibility for what’s going on inside of you; love it, heal it, and then see what happens. Q: If I let go of the anger and frustration toward the people with whom I have a history, then what will be behind all the anger and frustration? Who am I? I meditate everyday and I take responsibility for my part, but is my anger towards these people standing between me and God? Do I need to actually go to these people and complete with them so I have nothing standing between me and God?
We have to walk that inner journey and take responsibility for all our thoughts and feelings, our actions and reactions. I say that all the time, but that’s the truth. And the only way we can do that is to go inside, take charge, and begin to redirect the flow so that it flows inward and upward, and flows in a way that serves the loving and loves the serving. That’s what you are beginning to move into now.
A: (Brian) Sometimes we’ll begin to judge, resist, and push against what we think we understand about what is blocking us from God; because we want that greater peace and loving and connection, we want to get rid of 12
Q& A
continued you feel about what’s going on – “I hate them, I hate what’s happening, I hate myself, I hate hating.” Often, simply acknowledging it and expressing it, in itself, can be freeing. But if it’s not freeing, there’s obviously something else going on. Acknowledging that you hate someone, is that really the truth? It’s the truth about how you feel, but eventually you’ve got to get to the real truth, which is that you really love the divine that you are in that oneness with God, and you love the divinity in everyone else. That’s really the only truth that exists throughout any and every creation. This path is a journey of discovering and awakening to that truth.
those things so we’re no longer in separation. But, in that, there lies the fallacy. Rather than getting rid of that which separates us from God, it’s really about loving, accepting, and embracing all that we see that’s causing us separation inside of ourselves with the Divine. Maybe it’s time to find a different way of loving and accepting these things inside of you. It often starts with loving and accepting the people, the situation, and those interactions; but you see, eventually, we really do have to move into loving ourselves. It always comes back to that.
In God, we are all one. That’s the divine union, and to do the divine union, we’ve got to go into the soul of who we are where we will know the oneness and the loving with everybody else.
You’ll discover that by taking responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings, actions and reactions, you’ll begin to have the awareness. The work you’ve been doing has brought you to a greater understanding and to a level of freedom with it already. The next step is just loving yourself through it all; this is often the biggest challenge for people because we’re so used to living life as the victim. We’re habitualized in such a way that we literally think that that’s who we are.
Q: So the real truth is that I love myself, but how does that relate to all the other people? A: (Brian) You don’t have to worry about anyone else because the truth of who you are in the loving of yourself is your soul, and that soul truly is one with all the other souls. In God, we are all one. That’s the divine union, and to participate in the divine union, we’ve got to go into the soul of who we are - which is where we will know the oneness and the loving with everybody else. Truth transcends all the illusions that create separation; we have to go within ourselves to transcend that separation of all the hurt and anger.
You described that you don’t know who you are. Because it’s so ingrained in us to be that which we are not, we feel as though we’ve lost touch with who we are, but we really haven’t; there’s no way anybody can lose touch with who they are. It can feel that way, and we can even believe it, but that’s part of our illusion. Within our consciousness, this feeling or sense of separation is created, and that’s what creates the turmoil and reaction. Eventually, we have to find a way to simply love ourselves. Like Jim says, “It doesn’t matter if you feel it or if you believe it; just do it. Just love yourself.” Walk around all day saying, “I love myself. I love who I am.” It sounds like a positive affirmation, but it’s a statement of truth.
Part of that action is giving ourselves the freedom to give our feelings a healthy expression. Anger is the energy of where we’ve been hurt and have suppressed ourselves, and that anger is just trying to un-suppress itself. So, we do need to give it expression. We can have a conversation with the person directly, or talk to someone else, or write it down, then tear it up, or burn it, or throw it away; whatever way you choose, always give it up to God. Then, you’ll begin to understand that when others do the stuff that they do, they’re just caught up in their own personality and process, just like you have been when you judged them and got upset, but now, you’ll no longer go into reaction with it all.
To get to the place of being in the oneness with God and all souls we have to get to that place of honesty, which you haven’t done when you use the words, “The people I hate…” It’s honest, and yes, that is the truth of how 13
I nner L Light M inistries Calendar Presented by Kelsie Mc Sherry, Hawaii Area Coordinator: For additional information, call Kelsie at 808-285-6624 or email kelsiemcsherry@ilm.org.
like to welcome and introduce our newest ILM Staff Member and Minister, Kelsie We would Mc Sherry! She joins us from Hawaii as ILM’s Hawaii Area Coordinator!
Kelsie will be sharing ILM’s teachings and actions of the Path of Sound and Light through ILM’s Hawaii Area Newsletter and facilitating ILM classes, workshops, retreats, ministerial counselings, and other services as they arise. She especially likes working with the LAF - Loving, Accepting, Forgiving, and ILM’s new LAF Workbook and Meditation Journal that she created with ILM Minister, Brian Yeakey. Please feel free to email Kelsie welcoming her and sharing with her any comments or questions you may have at kelsiemcsherry@ilm.org. iving The Loving: These classes focus on how to walk the Path of Sound and Light and to live L the Loving in our daily lives through the study and practice of the spiritual tools that Jim and Brian share. 1st SUNDAY JAN 15, FEB 5, MAR 5, APR 16 4th SUNDAY
3:30-6 pm North Shore, Oahu 6-8 pm Unity Church of Maui, Wailuku, Maui 3-5 pm Hawaii Kai, Oahu
Donation Donation Donation
V
S pecial ideo Conferences : See, hear, and share with Jim and Brian live from Austin via internet technology!
JAN 25, MAY 3, NOV 8 MAR 15, SEPT 6
M
editation:
3rd Sunday
10 am-1:30 pm 10 am-1:30 pm
North Shore, Oahu Honolulu, Oahu
Donation Donation
Once a month gathering for a 2 1/2 hour meditation. Meditation
2:45-5:30 pm
North Shore, Oahu
Donation
M
ILM editation & LAF Rereat: Join us for a four-day retreat focusing 100% on Spirit! Each day consists of a 2 1/2 hour meditation, sharing, Q&A, and processes to help awaken us more into the Loving. Advance registration is required. JAN 29-FEB 1
St. Anthony’s Retreat Center on Oahu
$295 double/$325 single
Initiate’s Handbook
Initiates, remember to check out the Initiate’s Handbook in the “Initiates Only” section of the website, www.ilm.org. Whether you are newly initiated or a long-time initiate, this most current version of the Handbook contains information that will be of special significance to you.
I
nitiation is the greatest treasure of all the universes.
14
– Brian Yeakey
J
Game Changer!
The Sacred Name Of God by Kelsie Mc Sherry, ILM Minister amazes me is that since I’m now consistently chanting the Name, I’ve become so much more aware of where I’m protecting and defending myself, and where I have that need to be right. With having more awareness it has been much easier to own up and say, “Yes, you’re right, I did that!” and claim it for myself. As a result I am living the Loving more and more in my daily life.
im and Brian teach that the Sacred Name of God given in initiation are the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven and the way Home to God. Up until recently, it has been challenging for me to keep my focus on chanting the Name. In July of this year, Brian suggested that the next ILM Newsletter of Hawaii be focused on the Sacred Name of God. Inside, I screamed, “Ohhh noooo! He knows I’m not chanting the Name every time!” That day, I made a commitment with myself and with God that chanting the Sacred Name would be my number one focus in my meditations. This would mean, no more long conversations with God, pleading and begging my way into His Kingdom.
On the inner, I’m staying focused on God at the seat of the soul. The Name is lifting me above and beyond the lower realms to become more aware and awake to the true me, as Soul, which is always loving God. I’m beginning to experience the Loving in a fuller way, as well as experiencing my true self, Soul, as the Loving. Only the Name can do this for me, not the mind. When I chant the Name, it is key for me to first surrender to God. To let go, I say, “Lord, I give to you this body, imagination, emotions, mind, and unconscious mind. I am yours. You do “me.” Lift me Home to you. I am here doing my part, chanting your Name, the Sacred Name of God, and I surrender to your bringing me Home to you.” This action of surrender allows me to let go of all my attachments to the world so that I focus on God first and God only, and then I am lifted into my Soul’s Loving with God.
In this commitment were 3 key factors: • I would first chant the HU long enough to feel, see, sense, know, or hear the movement of Spirit; then, I’d start chanting the Name. • As I chant the Name, I would focus on feeling the frequency of the Loving in the Name rather than focusing on the individual names themselves. • I would declare to God within, “In chanting the Name, I share my Loving with you.”
So, why did it take, from my initiation until recently, to surrender and commit to chanting the Sacred Name of God in every meditation? I laugh because I know that this is a journey I may never fully understand. What I do know is that the more accepting and open I can be with where I am right now on my journey, and the more I give up my attachments and expectations, the more I will keep moving forward. The fact that the Sacred Name of God has been anchored into my consciousness through the action of initiation, has allowed me the opportunity to grab hold of the Name every time I sit in meditation. And to myself and God, I say, “Okay Lord, I’m ready!” I know, now more than ever, that my participation in chanting the Name, as an action of putting God first and surrendering to God’s Loving, is absolutely key to my return Home to God.
In stating this declaration, I’ve surrendered and let go of trying to figure out how to share my loving with God. Knowing that the “sharing of my loving” is now being handled through chanting the Name, I am able to relax and open to be in the Loving with God. With greater ease, I am beginning to truly experience the power of the Name awakening me into the Loving. And, because I’ve committed to chanting the Name in every meditation now, everything, both inwardly and outwardly, has started to shift. On the outer, I’ve started taking responsibility in greater ways by being honest with myself, God, and others about my feelings, judgments, and fears. I’ve started “owning” when I’m putting my thoughts and feelings on others, and when I’m blaming others for the way I’m feeling. What 15
H
Permission To Be You by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister
myself as being wise (“Who does he think he is!?”) I feel free and clear inside. And when I honestly express the unpleasant emotions I am feeling and ask for patient support as I move through them, I still feel free; and usually, there is a great sense of relief that comes with that. There is a powerful expansion that takes place within me when I am true to myself, and a powerful contraction when I am not. More and more, I am choosing into that freedom.
ave you ever noticed how tiring it is to be you sometimes? Ever felt the stress of your life weighing upon you? I have. So, what is that all about?
I’m not talking about physical fatigue from a hard day of labor or activity. I am talking about a profound weariness that sets in, that causes life to lose its luster and makes everything appear to be more trouble than it is worth. Of course, there are many different circumstances that can trigger such a reaction in us. Here’s one of mine.
I am giving up the belief that I can control the reaction of others by pretending to be what I am not. The truth is, others usually react more to what is going on within themselves than they do to whatever I am doing, anyway. In truth, much of what others perceive me as doing is a result of what they are struggling with in themselves.
I try to live up to everyone else’s image of me and I’m often worn out trying to maintain that image of myself, which in truth, is not genuine. I want people to perceive me in a way that will make them like me better, or at least treat me well. I want to appear to be spiritually wise, kind, and serene. If I am feeling scared, or angry, or hurt, I hide it behind the mask of my “spiritual self,” which is really the face of ego, not of Spirit. I am afraid that if I demonstrate being hurt, I will be more vulnerable to being hurt; if I reveal my fear, I may be less respected; and if I show my anger, I may cause people I care about to reject me.
I no longer need to prove to anyone else whether or not I am an awakened soul. I am what I am. I am as awake as I am … and so are you. We can give up the idea of “proving” to anyone how free we are by giving up acting outrageous or wise or whatever we think demonstrates freedom. Nothing demonstrates freedom except real freedom. Those who are truly free have nothing to prove - to themselves or to anyone else. The only way I have found to overcome the fearsome weariness of trying so desperately to be all that I am not is to simply and genuinely be all of who I am. That is one of the many blessings this Path has given me: the permission to be who I really am. Every day in the most ordinary of moments, and every day in the most extraordinary of moments: I am. When I am experiencing the flow of Spirit in me, I feel alive, awake, and joyful! When I am feeling the Loving, my enthusiasm returns and my fatigue dissolves into nothing.
If I feel that who I am or what I am feeling may be unwelcome, I attempt to conform to what is expected of me in order to be accepted. Maintaining this “image” requires constant effort to not let others see behind the mask. This all takes a lot of energy to accomplish. If, at the same time, my soul is stirring within me, seeking expression in a given situation, it compounds the problem. Not only do I have to use energy to project the desired image, I also have to use energy to fight against letting the voice of soul express itself. I think I need to deny it or hide it as it arises. This internal battling against myself is exhausting.
So, ask yourself, “What would it be like to live without this weariness; to live freely, without this heavy burden of ego driving all my choices and actions?” Decide if the cost of denying yourself to be you is worth it anymore. Just put down the mask, experience true freedom, and watch your soul smile.
On the other hand, whenever I do give voice to my soul, I feel energized, enthused, and creative. When I act on what I know - regardless of whether it makes me look foolish, or makes me appear that I think of 16
Getting Free
F
by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister
feelings, where I’ve been unable to share my loving, would I find what I’m really afraid of? What I’m afraid of is exposing the pain that has stirred up inside of me; I don’t want to feel it, and I don’t want others to see it and think badly of me. I’m afraid of someone seeing my anger, or of experiencing theirs, or that the conflict will change the relationship. I’m afraid of not “saying it right” and being misunderstood.
or thirty years, I’ve consciously been in school. I know that every situation in life is a lesson, an expanding and conscious experience. This is the school of Spiritual Awakening. For many of those years, however, I’ve spent much of the time wondering when I was going to graduate, when I was going to be done with these lessons that I seem to have to do over and over. “I’ve already done that! Can’t I just move on?”
Holding on to these fears has kept me small and scared since childhood. It has caused me great pain as it lives in me, as it has dominion over my loving. Facing it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. But, in fact, I am beginning to acknowledge in myself that it takes great courage to turn towards fear, to place loving all around it, and to practice a new way of expressing. I know that I will have to be persistent to overcome this life-long fear. In wanting my spiritual freedom more than anything else, I’m willing to be embarrassed, I’m willing to say it wrong a dozen times over until I get to the truth.
30 years! Maybe I’m a slow learner and maybe that’s just how long it takes to get through enough lessons to finally break through. These days, when I feel contracted or reactive, I meet it head-on and say to myself, “What’s here to learn? How can I do this differently than I have in the past?” And so begins the process of moving consciously through the lesson, longing for an outcome in which I am awake rather than “Glad that one’s over.”
Now, I am beginning to know the truth of me, as soul. And so, begins the process of loving. Loving has been the hardest of all because what I really want to do is reject this part of me, send it to its room, deprive it of my loving so it will learn that it is bad, that it can’t behave this way. This sounds a lot like a direct reflection of parental love. But, I’m not a child anymore; I don’t need to continue parenting myself in this way. I want something more. I’ve had a taste of God’s pure Loving and I want more of that. I want to be in the direct reflection of God’s Loving, and in that, there is no judgment or control or deprivation ... only Loving.
But one of my lessons has been very difficult to meet head on, and that is to share how I’m really feeling. I’ve been afraid to communicate what’s actually going on for most of my life. In an interaction with someone, I may feel happy, sad, angry, or hurt. Out of all those possibilities, the only one I feel safe in sharing is ‘happy’. When I’m scared to share, I hold back my hurt, frustration, anger, or sadness. Because I think that “holding back” is going to cause the least amount of pain, what then seeps out is an expression that is withdrawn or sharp. Something IS expressed, and this type of expression only keeps me victim to these feelings that are inside of me. Even though it’s not easy to admit that my fear and anxiety expresses itself in this way, I know that the only way to get my spiritual freedom is to now love even the parts of me that cause me heartache and embarrassment.
The question for me now is how can I live more in the direct experience of God’s Loving? It is by turning toward the lesson; and in this case, for me to begin sharing what’s really going on, sharing what’s true for me. Then, I will begin to walk through that fear. In being as honest as I can in every moment, each day I become more fluent in my communication, and as a direct reflection, more fluid in my wakefulness.
So, into the fear I go. If, for just a moment, I close my eyes, look inside, and lovingly look for all the places where I’ve not trusted myself to share my thoughts and 17
of
Core Tenets
Inner Light Ministries (ILM) God Created You (Soul)
You Are The Living Loving Essence Of The Lord One Day You Will Wake Up
And Realize You Never Left The Heart Of God
The Actions Of Soul Liberation Through ILM Meditation - Loving God and Allowing God To Love You By Focusing On The Inner Light and Sound Of God. You Do This Through Chanting The Sacred Name While Holding Your Attention At The Seat Of The Soul.
Loving, Accepting, Forgiving (LAF) - Loving, Accepting, and Forgiving Yourself, Others, and God.
Take Responsibility For Your Thoughts And Feelings, Actions And Reactions
- Acknowledge and Accept Responsibility For Your Thoughts and Feelings, Actions and Reactions (Be Honest and Take Ownership). 18
Happy Holidays Dear ILM Community,
from the ILM Staff
Below is a list of the ILM Staff and a summary of their job descriptions. If you have a question about something in the Journal, on the website, with registration, with donations, with Midwest, Hawaii, and England activities, or anything else, please refer to this page and direct your question to the staff member connected to that area. Much Loving,
ILM Ministers
Jim Gordon - President & Founder: Jim has served as ILM’s spiritual teacher for many years, and as an anchor point for sharing the Path of Sound and Light through ILM, his teachings have created the foundation of ILM’s focus in the world. Jim Gordon He now supports Brian Yeakey as the spiritual teacher for ILM.
Brian Yeakey - Vice President & Spiritual Director: As successor to Jim Gordon, Brian serves as ILM’s Spiritual Teacher, sharing the Path of Sound and Light and initiating people into the meditation practice with the Sacred Name of God. As Brian Yeakey the Spiritual Director, Brian is responsible for ILM’s overall Mission and Purpose, as well as overseeing ILM’s Ministerial Program.
Laura Doggett - Administrative Assistant & Event Coordinator (lauradoggett@ilm. org): As Jim and Brian’s assistant, Laura is the contact person for information regarding ILM, ordering books and CD’s, and scheduling initiations. Laura handles registration and logistics for ILM’s Meditation retreats in Austin, Hawaii, and England, Austin events and classes, and assists ILM’s Area Representatives.
Laura Doggett
Laura Kesten - Managing Editor (laurakesten@ilm.org): Laura edits the text for the ILM Journals, fliers, books, workbooks, booklets, and website, as well as the audio for the CDs. She also transcribes and edits many of Jim’s and Brian’s talks and Q & A sessions for the ILM Journal and website.
Laura Kesten
Bill Stratton - Creative Visual and Audio Director (billstratton@ilm.org): Bill creates,
designs, and produces the ILM Journals, as well as creates fliers and ecards for local events. In addition, Bill records Jim and Brian’s Austin classes, produces audio/visual files for the production of CDs and the website, and prepares all audio files for the ILM website.
Bill Stratton
Henry De La O - Comptroller (henry@ilm.org): Henry is ILM’s Financial Administrator responsible for all accounting, record keeping, and financial reporting.
Steven McAfee - Midwest Area Coordinator (stevenmcafee@ilm.org): Steven creates
Henry De La O
and facilitates the Midwest ILM retreats, monthly workshops, and weekly classes. He, also, provides information about questions regarding ILM’s initiation process and its teachings.
Ani McAfee - Midwest Administrative Assistant (stevenmcafee@ilm.org): Ani assists
Steven McAfee
Kelsie Mc Sherry
Steven by managing logistics for all Midwest events, classes, workshops, retreats, and community gatherings, including class schedules, retreat details, calendars, fliers, and ecards. As chaplain, Ani also provides support as a spiritual caregiver for those who have experienced recent bereavement.
Kelsie Mc Sherry - Hawaii Area Coordinator (kelsiemcsherry@ilm.org): Kelsie creates, coordinates, and facilitates Hawaii area ILM classes, workshops, and retreats using ILM’s teachings and practices. Through spiritual counseling, Kelsie assists people in working with ILM’s teachings, LAF, and utilizing ILM’s LAF Workbook and Meditation Journal. 19
Ani McAfee
Inner Light Ministries
PRESORTED FIRST CLASS MAIL U.S. POSTAGE PAID AUSTIN, TEXAS
A Path of Sound and Light ®
Editorial and Publishing Office P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332 Phone: 512-306-1056
PERMIT NO. 1149
INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Journal About ILM ®
I nner Light Ministries (ILM) is a non-profit
organization dedicated to teaching spiritual awakening through an inner practice of meditation. This meditation practice is an inner path through which the soul transcends the physical realms of creation to its true home in the spiritual realms within the heart of God. In spiritual teachings and literature this inner path is often referred to as “The Path of Sound and Light,” “The Path of The Holy Spirit,” “The Path of Love,” or simply as “The Path,” or “The Way.” ILM offers initiation into this meditation practice enabling one to fully experience this inner journey of awakening. To provide support for those individuals interested in this path, Inner Light Ministries offers numerous publications, materials, programs, and services, which encourage devotion to God and support a life-long practice of meditation, spiritual study, and service.
Inner Light Ministries:
Mailing List To keep our present mailing system up-to-date, please check the spelling of your name, street and city. If there is an error, please notify us by phone (512-306-1056), email (ilmadmin@ilm.org) or by mail (PO Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332). Thank you.
Donations Donations to Inner Light Ministries are gratefully accepted, and help us support: 1. ILM events, production of CDs, the ILM Journal, and books. 2. Scholarships toward supporting members taking ILM retreats and workshops. 3. ILM’s Christmastime project: Coins For Kids. Checks may be made payable to Inner Light Ministries and sent to: 3267 Bee Cave Rd., Suite 107-515, Austin, Texas 78716. Or to make a donation by credit card, go to ILM’s website at www.ilm.org. Donations are tax deductible.
Main Office: Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, P.O. Box 5139, Fort Wayne, IN 46895