INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES JOURNAL
WHY MEDITATE?
VOLUME 18 NUMBER 3
by Jim Gordon, President of ILM
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(from the talk, Why Meditation - 7/16/06)
hy do I recommend the Path of Sound and Light meditation? Here is the actual reason, the ‘nitty-gritty’. Truly, if we will do our meditation, if we will take that Name of God that is given to us at Initiation, and hold it in the focus of the Loving of God … and if we speak the power of the Name of God, in us and through us in all levels of creation … then we will begin to hear that freedom of God’s Loving literally ringing through us on all levels. And we will find ourselves gaining freedom on all levels of this creation, this physical-universal creation, and we will stand free. You will be “soul liberated,” soul-awake and knowing God dwelling within. And then this will happen: you will hear the voice of the lord of this creation — known as Lucifer, Satan, Kal Niranjan, and so many other names throughout all the different religions and spiritual traditions of olden days and today. And you will hear Kal saying, “Get out! Get out! I do not want you in my creation anymore!” And you’ll just skip happily along that path of Loving through all of his creation and out of here. Leaving these physical creations, leaving this physical body, you’ll reply, “Okay, if that’s what you want. I’ll leave. If I’m not welcome, I don’t need to stay here.” And you’ll go willingly, you’ll go lovingly, you’ll go joyfully, and you’ll go freely. It’s an amazing thing when Kal says, “Get out of here” to a soul. Every initiate will hear it one of these days — you will hear it. And when you do, another amazing thing happens: at that very moment all the ‘hooks’, the karmas of your past lives that had been entangled around you, holding you, binding you, to this physical creation — all of a sudden they shatter, and in that moment you’re free! The debt is paid in that moment. The moment Kal says to get out of here, he is going to say: “I’m wiping your slate clean. You will never have existed in my creation, no one will ever hear of you, or know of you, or think of you, or believe in you. You do not exist here.” If you hear him say those words to you, don’t hesitate. Don’t worry about anything — just
SEPTEMBER, 2007
get out! Now, getting out does not necessarily mean that you leave the physical body permanently, that your physical body is now dead and you as soul go on. It may be that, it may be just that, and if that is the case, hey, allow it to be. If you as soul, you as a child of God, are free now to return home to God from which you came, and reunite in the greater union of self, why not? So … if you hear Kal in a meditation, or in a dream, or just walking down the street or driving down the road — if all of a sudden you hear loudly the voice of Kal Niranjan screaming at you, “Get out! Get out of here! Leave my creation!” Thank him! Say, “Thank you lord of this creation. I love you so much and thank you for this liberation, for you have just freed me of my debt, of my karmas here; and if I stay here, I will do it in loving. I will love your creation, I will honor your space, I will not touch it or harm it in any way. I will complete what I have come to complete here, and when it’s time for me to truly leave I will leave, not creating disturbance but willing to leave, not concerned if people remember me or not, and I give thanks for the moment you have liberated me at this level. You have freed me of my debt.” Believe me, I will tell you one thing. Kal will say, “What? What? What do you mean I freed you of your debt?” I’ve seen this happen so many times. He just doesn’t get it — thank God! He goes into a whole reactive pattern of trying to reclaim. “Wait-wait-wait! I didn’t mean that!” And all you have to do is say, “What is spoken, is done. As it is spoken, so it is done, and I thank you for that.” That’s your authority over your creation. I say this to you now so that, when the day comes, there will be a part of you who will remember this, and know it, and you will do it. You will just do it automatically because your soul will say, “Oh, I remember. Jim said …” And that part of you that is the Divine in you, that part that is reading this today, knows this to be true. Having read this, you will now have the authority in a way you didn’t have before — to step up and to do that. And to live that. When that time comes you will stand there and say, “Oh my God. It’s true. Look at this, it’s happening.”
SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE by Brian Yeakey, Vice President of ILM
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the “greater truth” of what we’ve been experiencing. Are you ready to WAKE UP!? If you are, you’ve got to begin to move through and rise above this world: the world of the mind, the emotions, the imagination, and the body. You’ve got to find that way by which you can go beyond it all. Because that’s the only way you’re going to find your True Self with God. This is The Journey. And what an incredible, wondrous journey it is! But how do we do it? How do we ‘wake up’ and have spiritual experience?
he Inner Light, the Light of God, is the Soul. This is the True You! This is the True aspect of Self that we are all seeking. It doesn’t matter what we call it, it always has been and it is always the same. And we are on a wondrous journey back to Soul, a journey not only in this world, but through all the worlds — physical and spiritual. That’s the journey that we teach in Inner Light Ministries. In some ways this journey seems unattainable and maybe even unbelievable, in other ways it’s understandable and makes a lot of sense. If you’ve been with us for a while and have been reading our quarterly ILM Journal, listening to our talks, or attending our events, you have a good idea of what this journey is about. If not, then I encourage you to dive in and enjoy!
It is actually very simple. Sit down (or lay down), close your eyes, focus your attention above the eye brows — in the center of your head or forehead — and begin chanting within yourself the sound “Hu”… extend the chant out so it sounds like, “Huuuuuuuuu.” And keep chanting, as you continue to focus your attention at this area we call the “spiritual eye center.” As you continue chanting the “Hu” and focusing at the spiritual eye center, just begin to observe whatever you’re experiencing there. Observe with all your spiritual senses — watch, listen, feel, ‘know’. As you do, you may become aware of the movement of Spirit. You may see a purple light, or other lights, colors, or forms. You may hear inner sounds, of all kinds. You may feel a deep peace or loving moving through you. You may have a sensation of something on your head or moving through your body. You may even go out of your body and have experience in another realm of creation! These are several of the ways by which we can experience the movement of Spirit as we ‘awaken’ to It within ourselves.
In Inner Light Ministries we have been sharing about a spiritual pathway by which we can once again “wake up” to the knowing of our True Self, as Soul, in oneness with God. This pathway is traversed using a particular meditation technique that we practice each day, and, in doing so, begin to move into the “inner kingdom” of our consciousness to have spiritual experience. And that’s the main key, to have spiritual experience — real, true, spiritual experience! Not make-believe, not wishing, not wanting, not fantasizing or intellectualizing, but having real experience. That’s what this is about. It simply comes down to having one’s own personal, spiritual experience. Because, it is only through our own experience that we know whether something is true or not. Anything other than one’s own personal experience is speculation and intellectualization. ILM does not teach a philosophy or belief system, we teach a way by which to have direct, personal, spiritual experience. That’s it! So now go do it!
Just continue this process for as long as you like. The longer you do it, the more opportunity you give yourself to ‘wake up’ and have spiritual experience. Do 20-30 minutes … or 1-2 hours … or more! And see what happens — especially if you do it every day. This is how simple the meditation technique is, to awaken and have spiritual experience. And when you do awaken — that’s when you really begin the Journey of Life in a whole new and greater way!
If only it were that simple, then we all would be doing it. In truth, it is that simple, it’s just that it takes us time to ‘wake up’ and realize what it is we are doing and experiencing. We have actually always been having spiritual experience; we simply have been ‘asleep’ to 2
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES
CALENDAR
CLASSES & PROGRAMS: FALL – WINTER ‘07 PRESENTED BY JIM GORDON and BRIAN YEAKEY IN AUSTIN, TEXAS:
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For additional information, call 512-306-1056.
EEKLY
CLASSES:
Jim and Brian’s weekly class is held on Sundays, 10:30 am - 12:30 pm at the ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg, 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100.
Each class includes spiritual teachings, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation. Jim and Brian help participants to become more deeply aware of the Spirit within. No charge. (ILM Calendar continues on pages 4 - 10)
and Christmas Party in Austin Coioins ForCoinsKids For Kids Our Christmas service project is coming up ... so if you’ve been saving your coins or wondering what you might like to do as an expression of service this year, consider participating with us as we once again go on a joyful gift shopping spree for children in need at Chrismastime. Do drop off your coins/donation at one of Jim and Brian’s Sunday classes before Nov. 15th, or you can mail a check to: ILM, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332. (All donations to ILM are tax deductible.)
Shopping DAY will be on SUNDAY, NOV 18TH
Meet at 9 am at the Super Target at I35 and Parmer. (Wrapping the gifts is not required this year.)
CHRISTMAS POTLUCK PARTY: Join us for ILM’s Christmas celebration on SATURDAY, DEC 15th
beginning at 4 pm at 203 Buckeye Trail in Austin, Texas. Everyone is welcome!
It’s a potluck so bring a dish to share. 3
ILM presents:
in Colorado Springs, Colorado
Sunday, September 23, 2007
SHARING and Q & A with JIM
GORDON and BRIAN YEAKEY
TIME OF EVENT: 1:30-5:30 PM LOCATION: THE BROADMOOR HOTEL
1 LAKE AVENUE, COLORADO SPRINGS PH: 719-634-7711
MEETING WILL BE HELD IN THE ARNOLD PALMER ROOM DONATION For further information regarding this event please contact: Heather Proulx at 719-650-4571.
INITIATIONS and
APPOINTMENTS
September 24-28 Jim and Brian will be available for appointments, and for initiations for those who have been approved. To schedule appointments with Jim or Brian please call Heather Proulx at 719-650-4571. 4
ILM presents:
in London, England
Sunday, November 4, 2007
SHARING and Q & A with JIM
GORDON and BRIAN YEAKEY TIMES OF EVENTS
SHARING AND MEDITATION: 10:00 am-12 noon Lunch break Sharing and Q&A: 1:30-5:30 pm
WHERE: Marriott London County Hall Westminster Bridge Road, London SE1 7PB Phone: 0207-928-5200 0207 928 5200 Parking will be provided by ILM. DONATION
For further information regarding this event please contact: 0207 485 0699. Nanna Brinker at 0207-485-0699.
INITIATIONS and
APPOINTMENTS
November 5-13 Jim and Brian will be available for appointments, and for initiations for those who have been approved. To schedule appointments with Jim or Brian please call Nanna Brinker at 0207 485 0699.. 0207-485-0699 5
ILM presents:
in Hawaii
Sunday, January 27, 2008 MEDITATION & SEMINAR with JIM GORDON and BRIAN YEAKEY
TIMES OF EVENTS
SHARING AND MEDITATION: 10:00 am-12 noon Lunch break SHARING AND Q&A: 1:30-5:30 pm WHERE: Ohana East Hotel, Waikiki, Hawaii
Ohana East Lobby Conference Room Park in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio Avenue. Parking will be provided by ILM. DONATION ONATION For further information regarding this event please contact: Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509.
INITIATIONS and
APPOINTMENTS January 20 - February 14
Jim and Brian will be available for appointments, and for initiations for those who have been approved. To schedule appointments with Jim or Brian please call Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056. 6
Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreat
facilitated by
Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey
Start planning now for: Austin, Texas:
at Red Corral Ranch Renewal Center
Wimberley, Texas Thursday, March 20 at 6 pm thru Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 1:30 pm
COST: TBA
If you would like to sign up for this retreat please contact: Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056.
or for: Kalamazoo, Michigan: at Yarrow Conference Center
COST: TBA
Augusta, Michigan
If you would like to sign up for this retreat please contact: Steven McAfee at 260-485-2167.
Thursday, May 15 at 6 pm thru Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 1:30 pm 7
I NNER L IGHT M MINISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN:
For additional information, call Laura at 512-266-9400 or 512-658-4117 or email: LSKestenB@aol.com.
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TORIES UNTOLD: Jim and Brian talk about Loving, Acceptance, and Forgiveness in every talk they give. In STORIES UNTOLD, through our writing, we first-handedly get to practice and experience Loving, Acceptance and Forgiveness in the events of our lives, letting go of the past so that we can open more fully to the Divine. As a bonus, the process of writing also prepares us in the present, as well as laying a foundation for the future, keeping us more aligned and in the flow of God’s Loving. These weekends are magical! Try it for one weekend and see for yourself. No experience necessary! You just have to show up!
TEXAS:
SEPT 15-16, NOV 10-11 2008: JAN 19, MAR 1, MAY 3, SEPT 6, NOV 15 Tom and Laura’s home: 14618 Mansfield Dam Ct., #16, Austin
MICHIGAN:
Donation
OCT 12-14 Yarrow Augusta, Mich. $125 NOV 30-DEC 2 GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $125 2008: FEB 15-17, APR 25-27, JUNE 21-28, AUG 22-24, OCT 24-26, DEC 12-14
AUSTIN ILM COMMUNITY MOVIE NIGHTS:
Join Tom and Laura at their new home at Mansfield Dam on the 1 Friday of every month to watch a movie with a spiritual message. If you have a favorite movie that speaks to you, we’ll add it to our list. Come early (6 pm) and have a fresh bowl of homemade soup and slice of Great Earth bread. The movie starts at approximately 7:30 pm. Everyone is welcome. Bring nothing but your beautiful self. No charge. st
SEPT 7, NOV 2, DEC 7 (ILM Calendar continues on next page)
ILM.org — the INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Website
You don’t have to be in Austin to attend the Sunday classes! ILM.org ILM.org is is being being offered offered to to share share the the basics on ILM, an organization dedicated to teaching The Path of Sound Sound and and Light, Light, and and to to enable enable everyone everyone interested interested to to purchase purchase ILM ILM books, books, tapes tapes and and CDs CDs online. online. It It is is now now simpler simpler and and faster faster to to gain gain access access to: to: ** Audio Audio versions versions of of ILM’s ILM’s weekly weekly Sunday Sunday Morning Morning Classes Classes in in Austin, Austin, Texas Texas ** All All past past and and present present ILM ILM Newsletters Newsletters ** Information Information on on ILM ILM Initiation Initiation into into The The Path Path of of Sound Sound and and Light Light ** Online Online registration registration for for some some ILM ILM workshops workshops and and retreats retreats
There is also a special section for ILM Initiates Only.
AND ... you can now download the talks from the audio section. Some of the recent talks in the audio section that you can listen to are: “rr“Rewriting InnerScript” Script” “Rewriting Inner “Restoration Of The Soul” “Experiencing God’s Presence” “Resurrection Through Meditation” Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today! 8
I NNER L IGHT M MINISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY STEVEN MCAFEE, MIDWEST COORDINATOR: For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167.
Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes in Ft. Wayne on Tuesday UESDAY CLASS SERIES: T nights from 7-8:30 pm at Unity Christ Church. Each series focuses on a specific spiritual topic. Some of our recent topics have included: lost books of the Bible; meditation in the Bible; and the mystical inner path in sacred scriptures. Please call Steven for current information.
ILM
COMMUNITY NIGHT:
ahead so we can plan appropriately.
MUSIC NIGHT! 7 pm Steven and Anita’s home
SEPT 1, OCT 30, DEC 11
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More fun community nights are on their way! Please RSVP a week Ft. Wayne
No charge
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NNER STUDIES:” The following events are open only to those already enrolled in this year-long program. Please note: There is no October Inner Studies meeting!
WORKSHOPS:
SEPT 2 NOV 4 DEC 2
SEPT 28-30
2:30-5:30 pm Kathy Stark’s home (potluck) Fort Wayne 2:30-5:30 pm Brigade of Light room Fort Wayne 2:30-5:30 pm Brigade of Light room Fort Wayne This will be the LAST meeting of this year’s program, AND the new intro for NEXT year’s program – ALL are welcome! Fri 6 pm-Sun 2 pm
COINS FOR KIDS:
Donation Donation Donation
RETREAT:
Potawatomi Inn at Pokagon State Park Angola, Ind. $225/person
A local ILM service project helping children in need at Christmastime.
NOV 28 DEC 13
7:00 pm 6:30 pm
DEC 14
TBA
Shopping at Wal-Mart on Coldwater Rd. Wrapping party at Brigade of Light room (note: pizzas and sodas will be provided) Gift delivery
Fort Wayne Fort Wayne Fort Wayne
EBATICAL FOR THE SOUL” RETREAT: This weeklong retreat will be very open and unstructured, S allowing us the space and time to renew our soul in our own ways. There will be morning and evening
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group meditations, and an evening class, as well as suggestions for inspirational ways to use this week of retreat. OCT 7-14
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Sun 5 pm-Sun noon
GilChrist
Three Rivers, Mich.
$400/person
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This retreat will focus on some of the teachings of great spiritual T IS WRITTEN” RETREAT: leaders and prophets in the Hebrew Bible. We will explore what significance their experiences have for us today.
NOV 9-11
Fri 7 pm-Sun 1 pm
GilChrist
Three Rivers, Mich.
$140/person
S : Steven frequently serves as a guest speaker for various churches and spiritual S groups in the Fort Wayne area. If you would like him to speak to your group, please call to make arrangements. UNDAY
ERVICES
The following are presently scheduled. NOV 4, DEC 2
11 am
Brigade of Light 9
Ft. Wayne
Donation
(Calendar continues on next page)
I NNER L IGHT M MINISTRIES CALENDAR •
Community ILM Seminars and Events Worldwide ILM ACTIVITIES in KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN:
For more information on the activities below please contact Carolyn Dailey at 269-327-6851 (or email carolee12@chartermi.net) or Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 (e-mail jg.richards@charter.net).
G : This group supports our spiritual growth with a group meditation, and the study S of ILM books, CD’s or tapes. Come join us for an enriching experience of growing in our loving. TUDY
ROUP
1st Tuesdays
6:15–8:15 pm
Judy Richards, 4715 Thistle Mill Ct.
No charge
M
OVIE NIGHT: Fun, enjoyable evenings with ILM friends, watching favorite movies having a spiritual message. Welcome all — yourself, friends and family members!
3rd Tuesdays
6:15–8:15 pm
Judy Richards, 4715 Thistle Mill Ct.
No charge
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HANKSGIVING: Share your blessings with others on Thanksgiving Day. Please bring a dish (turkey and dressing provided), and later we’ll watch a spiritual movie. Arrive between 11:00 and 1:00, dinner will be at 1:00. For more information call Penny Miller at 269-664-3577.
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ILM MID-WEEK SEMINAR in AUSTIN: Please contact Randy Bass at 512-569-1992 in advance before coming.
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APE SEMINARS: A midweek tape seminar is being held in Austin, Texas for those who are unable to participate in Jim and Brian’s regular Sunday classes. The format will be the same as on Sundays, although the meditation and talk will be on CD. Please call in advance — even if it’s just an hour or two before.
Wednesdays
7-8:30 pm
ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg, 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100
No charge
ILM SEMINAR in LOS ANGELES:
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Please contact Victoria Eng at 310-980-2224 to RSVP before coming.
S : The focus of each evening is on spiritual awakening, and on supporting T one another in experiencing and sharing greater Loving within ourselves and with others. Beginning in APE
EMINARS
September these seminars will be held every other Wednesday at 6 pm at Victoria and Willard Eng’s home in Beverlywood. Please call for exact dates. No charge.
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ILM SEMINAR in HAWAII: Please contact Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509, or 551-3123 (cell) for directions.
APE
•
SEMINARS: Share in a one-hour meditation and fellowship opportunity on: Monday evenings from 6-7:30 pm in Manoa Valley, Honolulu, Hawaii Bring friends ... newcomers are welcome. No charge.
ILM SEMINAR in LONDON, ENGLAND:
Please contact Nanna Brinker at 0207 485 0699 for directions. APE SEMINARS: Each evening will consist of a short meditation and the listening to a CD or tape by Jim and Brian. Join us in sharing the path of Loving and awakening into Spirit. All are welcome. Our ILM seminars are at 42A Montpelier Grove, London NW5, on the following dates.
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Sundays 4 pm SEPT 16, OCT 7 & 28, NOV 18, DEC 9 No charge 10
ILM Meditation and Talk On CD
SOON ON CD – RETURNING
BACK INTO SPIRIT
Excerpt:
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he Divine Plan is simply to awaken. It’s not about overcoming evil or the bad of the world, it is simply to awaken to the Loving within yourself. And as you awaken to that Loving within yourself you will awaken to the Loving in all things, in all creation, and beyond ... beyond creation itself. The greater purity of Loving that is beyond manifestation, beyond creation, beyond the realm of time and space — that is the greater journey that we begin to experience and move into. And once we awaken beyond this realm of illusion, once we awaken into Soul Consciousness, into the knowing of who we are as Soul, then we begin a new journey ... a journey into the Divine, even beyond Soul. That’s what is called Soul Transcendence — an awakening to the realms of spirit, awakening to the fullness of God directly. That journey begins after the journey of awakening to Soul. This journey into the Divine is the greater journey that we are really after in this process. As we go through the experience of this world of the body, the mind, the emotions, it is the greater journey in Spirit that is the greatest experience of all. – Brian Yeakey
Welcome to Inner Light Ministries! Introductory Packet
In this packet you will find ILM’s book LOVE AND LOVING, the CD UNDERSTANDING THE ‘INNER’ PATHWAY, the CD LOTUS MEDITATION, ILM’s brochure INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES GUIDELINES FOR INITIATION AND INITIATES, and a copy of our latest newsletter.
All of these materials were selected to give a newcomer a good understanding of who we are and what we’re about. If you would like an Introductory Packet for yourself or someone else, just let us know. Call us, email us, or write us! Feel free to take a look at our website too: www.ilm.org (more information on page 8). We are happy to do what we can to assist you on your spiritual journey. Blessings of Peace, Joy and Loving To You! Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, and The ILM Staff 11
Q& A
BY
JIM
AND
(This Q&A is from the “Experiencing The Divine Retreat,” Wimberley, Texas, March 2007.)
BRIAN
first even in this, I can now walk free and be free.” And then you can detach from all those things you’ve got attachment to, and from what the world told you that you had responsibility for. And now you’re not responsible for any of it, you’re just loving it all. You’re loving your wife, you’re loving your children, you’re loving your home, your car, your job — you’re loving it all, in total neutrality, in non-reactivity, non-attachment.
Q: My question has to do with responsibility. We’re responsible for our actions. But we are also responsible
for attachments because we have to not have attachments in order to go where we need to go. What is the line between responsibility and attachment, and how are you able to recognize the difference between an attachment and a responsibility?
Q: (follow-up) It’s the raising of the children. Where is the line between being responsible for raising my children and being attached to my children? That’s where I’m having the problem right now. I don’t want to have that attachment, and yet…
A: (Jim)
The only true responsibility we have is to whatever we create inside ourselves. That’s the only real true responsibility we have. A soul that is getting liberated from this creation has one charge, and that is to be able to leave this creation in such a way as to not cause a ripple as you depart … that you’re not creating reaction in this world of action and reaction, that your actions are such that they are so neutral that they do not create a ripple, that they do not create any little reaction. You drop a little pebble in a still pool of water, and, after awhile, you have all these ripples just going, going, going. Even the tiniest littlest pebble … that’s the reaction. We have to be in action in such a way that that a stone can just drop in the water and go right to the bottom and nothing ever happens.
A:
(Brian) The way you get detached is just by loving. The way you know you’re detached is by the inner experience of it. You just keep doing the loving over and over until the day that you are detached. You cannot be just detached. It doesn’t happen like that. It happens by being loving, by focusing on the Loving. You get what you focus on. If you are focusing on trying to being detached, you’re going to just attach yourself. Don’t focus on detaching. Focus on the Loving, and detachment will happen automatically. I’ve seen so many people start out on the right foot by focusing on God and Loving and Spirit, and then they get caught up in this whole thing of trying to get detached, and clearing karma or getting rid of karma, and praying for this to be taken away and that to be taken away … and what are they focused on? On all this stuff they don’t want. Really, focus on the Loving, and all that takes place automatically.
Q: (follow-up) How do you do that? A: (Jim) Loving. You are in loving with it all. Loving
is neutrality. True Loving is neutrality … and that true Loving is found in meditation. That true Loving that is the essence of the Sacred Name of God, that’s neutrality. And if we can begin to impart that loving essence, that loving neutrality into everything inside ourselves, then everything we create, everything that we do, everything, we are now handling in the way God has asked us to do — to be responsible for every action and reaction — to be responsible. So, the easiest way to be responsible is to be loving with it all. And the greatest loving action is to bring God into everything. God first, God first in my choice, God first in my expression, God first in my action — God first. Then it’s all neutral, and then there’s no reaction. So then you could make a choice and say, “In this loving action, with God and all things, and God
Sometimes it doesn’t look like it because as we’re doing the Loving, we’re also going and learning all these other techniques and tools, and learning about personal growth and how the mind works, the emotions, the imagination, the body and all these things. But really it’s the movement of Loving that is bringing you through all these different experiences, because they were meant for your soul’s journey, to learn about by going through these experiences. That’s part of the awakening, by walking through it all. You, in a sense, were following 12
(Q&A continues on page 15)
WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION
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by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister
Here’s the thing: this is a physical world. Bodies get injured. Bodies get sick. It comes with the territory. No amount of spiritual focus eliminates the realities of this realm. One of the illusions on the spiritual path that I have encountered is the belief that, if we do the path ‘right’, all our problems will go away: we won’t get sick, we won’t have any financial worries, all our relationships will go smoothly, and we’ll always be happy. Has that actually come true for you — or for anyone you know?
his summer Anita and I traveled to Hawaii with the ILM staff for ILM classes and meetings there. We were really looking forward to going, not only to meet the people in Hawaii’s ILM community, but also for a little rest and relaxation as the past few months here have been unusually busy ones for us. We had a wonderful flight over and a quiet day the next day, allowing our bodies to adjust to the six-hour time difference. The following day, we attended a public ILM meeting and Q & A session. We met many people there with whom we felt an immediate spiritual connection.
The teaching of the Path of Sound and Light is not that meditation frees you from dealing with your life in the world or protects you from all that could disturb or harm your body. The teaching is that we are not essentially the body, but soul … and that our soul is free. Meditation helps us to awaken to that reality of our soul and its inherent freedom, to experience its joy, and to attune ourselves to move in its loving, both within the realms of time and space and beyond them. The teaching is that we can experience the Loving regardless of our physical circumstances.
That night, back in our hotel room, I noticed that my throat felt a little raw, and I was unusually tired. I attributed it to the long plane ride and the time change. But the next morning when I awoke, my throat was so sore and swollen I could barely swallow, and my ears were so plugged I could hardly hear. Then a night-time cough set in which kept me up most of the night. For the rest of our entire time in Hawaii I was ill, and I spent the better part of it in the hotel feeling miserable — and feeling sorry for myself. I was disappointed that I would not be able to enjoy our much-anticipated time off, but mostly I felt that I had let Jim and the staff down as I was not able to participate in all the ILM things we had planned. Although I encouraged Anita to go out and do things without me, she instead stayed by my side. So, in addition to my physical discomfort, I was also struggling with the guilt of disappointing people I love.
Laying in bed in Hawaii, I first focused only on what my circumstance was preventing me from doing: all the wonderful things I had planned to do there. Later I realized that I had experienced something wonderful: the entire staff and ILM community — even their children — reaching out to me in loving: running errands for me, bringing me foods and medicines that I requested, being patient with me and encouraging me. Pat and Laura Doggett actually found a homeopathic cough syrup that stopped the nighttime cough and allowed me to rest. I experienced time alone with my wife and watched her work on her book — something she loves but very seldom has time to do. And though I had felt awful physically, the entire time I was actually surrounded by beauty and loving. With that new perspective I began to feel deeply appreciative of what I had learned from this illness.
Before you ask — yes I did go to a local doctor, who informed me I had a viral infection, not a bacterial one, and therefore antibiotics would not help. And yes, I tried pretty much every holistic thing which you may want to tell me would have fixed me. Have you ever noticed how many people seem to know exactly how to cure whatever ails you: just do this and you’ll be fine; just take that and you’ll be fine; just let me do this healing treatment on you … It’s amazing that any of us ever gets sick if so many things will work to cure everything right away.
I learned that it is important to take care of myself, and — what’s often more difficult for me — that it is important to sometimes let others take care of me. And, mostly, I was reminded to pay attention and to see the 13
(WHAT I DID continues on page 15)
AFTER ALL, I AM IN HAWAII
T
by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister
“Take a deep breath,” I told myself, “It’s just shampoo. Just clean it up and quit your belly-aching. After all, you’re in Hawaii.” For the next couple of days whenever I’d begin to feel anxious or irritable, I’d chant, “Quit your belly-aching, you’re in Hawaii.” But instead of calming me, the chant served only to create more anxiety and irritation. After all, because I was in Hawaii, I should be happy and stress-free.
his past July, the ILM staff took a twoweek trip to Honolulu. The staff, myself included, had been looking forward to this trip for a year. During that year, my husband and I also moved from one Austin-area town to another. It had taken us the greater part of the year to do all the things required with a move. There was a lot of fixing of one house for selling and almost as much fixing of another for living. Concurrently, there were those long meetings, phone calls, and the never-ending paperwork necessary in getting a new mortgage. And for us, because we work out of our home, along with packing our own personal items we also had the daunting task of breaking down our offices and setting them up again, hoping that everything still worked once it was all connected and plugged in at the new location. So a trip to the exotic, the romantic, the warm and beautiful — Hawaii — seemed like the perfect ending to a long and exhausting year. Packing and unpacking a couple suitcases would be no problem at all. Mostly, I wanted to leave behind all problems, worries and concerns, all the loose ends of things still left undone … plus all judgments, all of my need to control … basically all stress … and do absolutely nothing except relax and deliciously wait to become bored.
After a couple days of this, I began to feel lost. It was a feeling-pattern that I thought I’d long ago buried, but suddenly it had resurfaced ... in Hawaii. Feeling lost, for me, feels like I’m a little girl again and I’ve lost my mother in a big crowd. I withdrew as I doubted my every thought, feeling, action, and I went into a cycle of reaction — first reacting, then reacting to my own reaction, and so on. I began to question the truth of who I am, as a child of God. I sank more into the center of myself trying to grab onto some part of me that remembers who I really am. Here I was, in Hawaii, feeling lost. Then I thought to myself: our pilot flew from Dallas to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and found the tiny Hawaiian Islands, just dots on a map. If the pilot falls asleep, he cannot find the islands. He must stay awake, and focus his attention on the navigation system.
We arrived in Honolulu, picked up our rental car, and checked into our hotel, all according to plan. But what I had not planned as I unpacked, first lining up my shoes along the wall, then shaking out and hanging up crumpled clothing, was that tension and irritability got unpacked as well. I was certain I’d left them behind, but somehow, they’d snuck their way into my suitcase, and I discovered them as my hand slid into the cool slick side pockets of my bag. “#%*@#! Shampoo,” I shouted. And this is how my relaxing, stress-free, exotic vacation began.
That’s it, I thought. I must stay awake and focus on the navigation system — the one already inside of me, the one installed by God. It is that greater part of me who remembers the way out of mental traps, who knows how to use the spiritual navigation system. And so, on the fourth day, that greater part of me shouted, “Remember the Loving. Place the Loving on all that you feel. Place the Loving on feeling lost. Focus your loving on God. Do more meditation, and give it all to God.” Like a railroad switch, this moved me from one track to another. It was absolutely amazing.
How is it that I can travel thousands of miles away, even across an ocean, and those parts of me that I’d rather leave behind, that interrupt my having a good time, that keep me from enjoying beauty and leisure, show up uninvited and in total disregard for my much needed relaxation? How could my issues be so self-centered?
Every morning I would still wake up with that feeling of being lost, and each morning I’d have to make a decision: to choose between staying in the feeling of being lost, or to choose Loving. As silly as it may sound, I would consciously make a choice each day … that’s what I had to do. (IN HAWAII continues on page 15)
14
Q& A (continued from page 12)
doing this, because it is a movement of Loving. And you’ll realize that you could, literally, walk away from it and you would be free, but because it’s just a movement and expression of your loving, you just keep doing it … and there’s no more attachment.
by Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey
the Loving all along, even when you didn’t know it. And eventually you come to this meditation, which will really bring you back to the Loving — all of a sudden you’ll have the awarenesses, the understandings, and then all of a sudden you find you have the neutrality and the freedom. But really know it is the Loving that has been doing it all along. And it’s through this journey that the detachment will happen. It’ll just happen. You don’t have to try to detach yourself. If you’re going to make an effort, make the effort of loving in meditation; then you’ll reach the point where you’ll say, “Oh, my God. I’m not attached to this — but you know, I actually love
Jim: That’s really the truth. Brian: It boils down to: always just refocus on the Loving. As you do that, you’ll begin to live it more and more, and the more you live the Loving, all the other stuff just automatically detaches and drops away. There’s nothing more to hang onto because Loving is freedom, it is detachment … the very essence of Loving is just that: there’s nothing that can attach to it, so the more you live it, there’s nothing attaching to you.
WHAT I DID
(continued from page 13)
book called JONATHON LIVINGSTON SEAGULL. Jonathon has taught the other seagulls that they are each a living “image of the Great Gull” and that, as such, there is a great, untapped potential in every one of them. One small bird with a broken wing looks longingly up at the sky, wanting so much to fly. He asks Jonathon, “Are you saying that I can fly?” Jonathon looks at him and answers, “I am saying you are free.”
by Steven McAfee
Loving that is always present — both in the fulfillments and in the disappointments of life. The current of Divine Loving is always there, flowing between our soul and God, and, if we will only open to it, between ourselves and all that we encounter in the world.
We are not saying that you will never encounter difficulties in life. We are not suggesting that you pretend your wings are unbroken when they are. What we are saying is that you truly are “the Living, Loving Essence of the Lord,” as Jim Gordon often says. And that right now, wherever you are, no matter what your condition may be, you are free to experience and to be that Loving.
Jim and Brian have said countless times that this is a path of Loving. Sometimes we mistakenly understand that to mean a path with no problems. When difficulties and disappointments come, we sometimes feel as though we are doing something wrong. We can even get discouraged and believe that the path does not work for someone “like us.” It reminds me of a scene from a
IN HAWAII
(continued from page 14)
if that’s what it wanted to do; but today, my soul was going to choose God and Loving … after all, I am in Hawaii! I went on with my day and sometimes I could hear my mind remind me of its sadness and feeling lost, and I would say, “Thanks for sharing.” But I stayed awake and focused on the Loving.
by Laura Kesten
Then one morning I had an epiphany. As I was pouring my morning cup of Kona coffee, I realized that my mind is going to do what my mind does, and if it wanted to feel lost, that’s what it was going going to do. Pretending those feelings aren’t there, or trying to stuff them, avoid them, or invalidate them, or feeling discouraged that suddenly old patterns erupted from dormancy, only resulted in one thing — more stress, thus ultimately taking me further away from the Loving. So, I decided to try something bold. I actually told my mind that it could keep on occupying itself in being lost and sad
Staying centered in Loving is a choice. The world pulls on us, our minds and emotions wander to past patterns and old belief systems, trying to get us to respond to the world, trying to put us to sleep — and we are going to get pulled sometimes, and fall asleep sometimes. So our job is to keep waking up and keep choosing back into the Loving. 15
NNER LIGHT IGHT MINISTRIES JOURNAL INNER
ABOUT ILM INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES (ILM) is a non-profit
organization dedicated to teaching spiritual awakening through an inner practice of meditation. This meditation practice is an inner path through which the soul transcends the physical realms of creation to its true home in the spiritual realms within the heart of God. In spiritual teachings and literature this inner path is often referred to as “The Path of Sound and Light,” “The Path of The Holy Spirit,” “The Path of Love,” or simply as “The Path” or “The Way.” ILM offers initiation into this meditation practice enabling one to fully experience this inner journey of awakening. To provide support for those individuals interested in this path, Inner Light Ministries offers numerous publications, materials, programs, and services, which encourage devotion to God and support a life-long practice of prayer, meditation, spiritual study, and service.
ILM:
Check out ILM.org for ILM CDs, tapes and books.
(See page 8 for more information on ILM.org.)
Main Office: Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332; Financial Office: Tom Beaver, 14618 Mansfield Dam Ct., #16, Austin, TX; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, P.O. Box 5139, Fort Wayne, IN 46895
Inner Light Ministries Editorial and Publishing Office P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332 Phone: 512-306-1056 Forwarding Service Requested