I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER VOLUME 10 NUMBER 2
JUNE, 1999
A M ANUAL FOR LIVING by Jim Gordon, President of ILM
A
few days ago I picked up the Bible to look for a quote. As I began to go through the pages looking for the passage, I found myself reflecting on how the Bible has helped me over the years in my quest to understand life and to find a spiritual path that works for me. I reflected on how in high school there were a few of us, from different religions and spiritual upbringings, who as juniors and seniors would come together and discuss religion, and the Bible. These discussions started me on an inner search for an understanding of the Bible— for what I saw and heard in our discussions caused me to wonder what this book was truly telling us. I found in listening to each of us share what we had learned through our different religious and spiritual upbringings, that there were many different ways to interpret this one book. I found it both interesting and disturbing that so much disagreement could come from a book that God has given us that we might know and understand Him better, and know and understand ourselves as spiritual beings. This sparked in me a great inner search to better understand this book that is holy to so many in the world. At first I began to read and re-read its pages looking for understanding and answers. What I found instead were stories and history and wording that were sometimes difficult to understand. I then began to look ‘inside myself’ for understanding. I would go into prayer and meditation searching for understanding of this most sacred text. I would pick out passages that I felt were meaningful to me, and then ‘hold them’ in my focused meditations. As I did, I began to have insights —insights into this Holy Bible and insights into myself. One of the first passages I began to pray and meditate on was Exodus 3:14, “And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.” This passage became a prayer for me, an unending chant ever being sung inside myself. During the
day and night, whether in meditation or prayer or in school or riding the bus, this phrase—this prayer—was ever being sung in my head. One day, weeks after I began this process and search, I had something inside me ‘line up’, and a kind of expansion took place in my heart. With this new understanding, more of this most sacred Bible began to open before me. What I saw was a book written to be a guide, a way of direction for our unfoldment into the greater spirit that we are. I am not saying that I found “the answer” or “the truth”. What I did find was an unfolding understanding of a great mystery. One thing I began to see was that the Bible has many different levels to it. One can take it very literally and find understanding of historical events as well as knowledge that might help us cope with this world. I also found parables and teachings that have many different levels of understanding to them. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah is an example of this. On one level it is the story of a city and its people being destroyed, during which Lot’s family is fleeing and Lot’s wife looks back and is turned into a pillar of salt. As I read this passage I see another level, which teaches me to continue looking forward in the path of life, to stay focused on who I am and where I am going. Looking back on the past and holding onto it will put one in bondage to the past, becoming that which is ‘stuck in worldliness’, or, a ‘pillar of salt’. One thing that began to help me better understand the Bible and how to use it as a guide book or manual for living was another insight I had one day as I was meditating: the Bible can be seen as the story of one soul. In the Bible there is but one life, the life of the soul, and in that one life there are a multitude of experiences it chooses into for its full awakening into the divine essence that it is. With this insight I began to see how the Bible is not only a story of many different people, their lives, challenges, conflicts, failures, awakenings and triumphs. It is also the story of one soul—from the beginning of its journey through the “outer kingdom,” on through all that it encounters and learns, and ultimately the soul’s return back to the Father-Mother God from which it came. In all of the stories and in all of the writings there is but one truth—and that truth is for each of us to find for ourselves. For me that one truth is, I AM.
THE
M AGICAL KINGDOM
by Steven McAfee, ILM Midwest Coordinator
had once so enthralled them would begin to lose its attraction, and their hearts turn once more toward home. Even if their grandparents offered them more candy, more toys, more rides, more shows, they would no longer want them. Then what if their grandparents suddenly became insistent and told them, “Well, you can’t go home; you have to stay here with us.” “No!” the children would cry, “we want to go home; we want our mom and dad!” The above story is an analogy. Because somewhere, somehow, once upon a time, for whatever reason, we left our heavenly home and our “mom and dad.” We entered a world that does exist in time and space, but is not the “real world.” It, too, has an infinite array of things to tempt the senses, engage the mind, and thrill or terrify the heart. It, too, has a staff whose job it is to help us understand and experience the many features of the “park.” Here, too, there are those who seek to harm. Here, too, are amazing opportunities. And, just like the children in the story, at a certain point in the “adventure” that is our growth, if someone were to come and tell us it were time to leave, we would not want to—we wouldn’t be ready to go, there would be more we were seeking to experience. But, eventually, our hearts begin to ache to return. Once we reach that stage of our adventure, no delight of the world is enough any longer. The more we are offered, the stronger the longing burns within us, until we, too, cry out, “No! I want to go home! I want my mom and dad!” That is when the Lord hears our plea and someone is sent to show us to the gate and the path that lead out of the park and back into the “real world,” where our soul will be once more at home. Throughout the ages, God has sent, and continues to send, spiritual teachers into the world, to bring back those who are longing to return. Jesus, in speaking of himself in this regard, described this very process: “The one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the flock. The gatekeeper lets him in, the sheep hear his voice, one by one he calls his own sheep and leads them out. When he has brought out his flock, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.” (John 10:1-5) It is the loving voice of our heavenly parent calling us to come home.
I
magine for a moment that you have young children, and they are given the opportunity to go to Disney World with their grandparents. There are few people in the world whom my own sons, when they were young, enjoyed being with more than their grandpa and grandma, and Disney World is one of their favorite places of all time. So off your children go! Once they enter the gates of Disney World, they are no longer in the “real world.” Everything they encounter, though “real” enough in the sense that it exists in time and space, is actually “make-believe”— a kind of dream world in which the imagination reigns. There is every type of ride, amusement, and entertainment imaginable available to them: those that delight the eyes, the ears, and the palate; those that relax and soothe; those that inspire; those that spark laughter; and even those that terrify and make the heart pound wildly. All of these attractions are part of the fascination of the amusement park. Each person has their own particular favorites—and others which they avoid. It is a place of self-indulgence, and the children do indulge. All under the watchful eye of their grandparents—because, even in this “magical kingdom,” there may be those who seek to harm. The staff at the park is there to help insure the safety of the guests, to provide direction and occasionally instruction on the features and facilities of the park; some of them also play the role of characters and dress up as sweet or frightening creatures. And so, in this world of nearly endless possibilities, the children charge off on their great adventure. Now, if right then, at that moment in their adventure, you (the parent) were to come and tell them it was time to go home, your children would be most upset with you and employ pity, anger, reason, or whatever else they could think of just to “stay just a little longer.” They would want more time to explore all that the park has to offer them. But suppose, on the other hand they had been there a very long time. They had done all they wanted to do, not once, but over and over and over again. The “magical kingdom” which 2
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES
CALENDAR
CLASSES & PROGRAMS: JUNE 1999 - SEPTEMBER 1999 PRESENTED BY JIM GORDON:
For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992
W
EEKLY
CLASSES:
Jim’s weekly Austin class is held Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm,
ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg., 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100, Austin, TX.
Each class includes spiritual teaching, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation. Jim helps participants to become more deeply in touch with the Spirit within.
ETREAT A N : Mark your calendars now for a special weekend Rretreat with ILM Ministers Jim Gordon, Laura Kesten, and Steven McAfee at the beautiful DVANCED
OTICE
Seasons—A Center for Renewal at the Fetzer Institute in Kalamazoo, Michigan on November 57, 1999. More information will be mailed out soon. November 5-7
Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm
Kalamazoo, MI
$100
PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: For additional information, call Laura at 512-894-0992
P
EACEMAKER:
The Iroquois legend of the PeaceMaker, dating back to AD 1200, is a historicallynoted influence on the forming of our American nation. We offer this workshop as an opportunity to journey through the rich Iroquois story of the PeaceMaker, reliving its teachings and participating in transformational processes, thus bringing us closer to the heart of our own PeaceMaker within. Come and experience this very powerful workshop. The registration fee includes lodging, meals, all materials, and Jean Houston’s book, A Manual for the PeaceMaker. June 11-13 Sept. 24-26
Still Meadows Community Pretty Lake Vacation Camp
Portland, OR Mattawan, MI
$125 $125
: Kellogg Forest is one of the most beautiful places on earth—rich in Native trees D and plants, peaceful trails, gentle stream waters, and wildlife. Share with us a day in this calming, RUMMING
healing, and rejuvenating environment—drumming, meditating, journaling, walking, and resting. It is not necessary to bring a drum, however you are welcome to bring one if you wish. June 19
1:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Kellogg Forest Gull Lake, MI
No charge
W -I R II: The Writer Within workshop is designed to engage W us, The Writers, in communicating more naturally between emotion-and-thought and pen-and-paper, THE
RITER
ITHIN
N
ETREAT
thereby unfolding more of who we are. The emphasis is on the process, not on form, technique, or product. A safe environment is created both for the writer and sharer. The registration fee includes lodging, meals, and materials. June 25-27
The Croft Retreat Center
Otsego, MI
$100
Laura’s Calendar continues on next page
3
(This pullout ILM Calendar continues on pages 4, 5 and 6.)
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: (CONTINUED) For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992
IN RETREAT: We will view and discuss John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women COUPLES Are From Venus videos: Understanding Martians & Venusians, Improving Communication, Giving and Receiving Love; Emotional Needs, and Lasting Intimacy & Fulfillment. Dr. Gray is insightful, comprehensive and delightfully humorous as he shares his wisdom on how men and women are equal but different. You and your partner will be given many opportunities throughout the weekend to apply this information in practical exercises. You will be surprisingly entertained, and inspired to bring more awareness, understanding, and love into your relationship. July 23-25
Kellogg Biological Station
Gull Lake, MI
$225/couple
A C IRCLE OF WOMEN:
Monthly gathering. This evening is specially dedicated in the celebration of ancient woman spirit, where women join together to experience the support of an uplifting, nurturing, and self-empowering circle. There is no charge. Aug. 20, Sept. 17
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
ILM Center
Austin, TX
PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
W
EEKLY
CLASSES:
Steven’s weekly class is held Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm, at
Unity Church, 3232 Crescent Ave., Ft. Wayne, IN.
Classes include spiritual teaching, music, meditation, practical application, and group sharing.
B S : Discover the mystical teachings in the Bible S and how M to apply them in your life. Every Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 am, 6228 Lombard Place, UNDAY
YSTICAL
IBLE
TUDY
Ft. Wayne, IN (please note that Sunday meetings are not held on the weekends when ILM workshops or retreats are scheduled; call Steven for up-to-date information). Families are welcome.
SERVICES: Steven conducts worship services as a guest for various churches and spiritual groups in the Ft. Wayne area. Please call for additional programs scheduled after we went to press with this issue.
S
UNDAY
June 6
7:00 pm
Open Door Chapel
3426 Broadway
Ft. Wayne, IN
June 27
11:00 am
Brigade of Light
YWCA Villa
Ft. Wayne, IN
July 11
10:30 am Unity Christ Church 3232 Crescent Ave. Ft. Wayne, IN (This service will be followed by a workshop on Forgiveness in the Fellowship Hall downstairs from 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm.)
July 18
10:00 am
Swedenborg Church
Urbana, OH
N : The Ft. Wayne ILM “community” periodically gets together to share C in potlucks, music nights, video nights, and outings. Most of these events are also suitable for OMMUNITY
IGHTS
children. They are usually scheduled spontaneously as an inspiration arises within the group. Please call Steven for current information. Steven’s Calendar continues on next page
4
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR RETREATS
F
AND WORKSHOPS PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
MCAFEE:
This experiential workshop will focus on connecting with your inner self and revealing it more fully in your life. You will have the opportunity to find your inspiration, set your intention, and commit to act in accordance with it. We will meet at the Rhea House located at the Fetzer Institute. Box lunches will be provided. Registration is limited, so register early!
INDING
YOUR TRUE SELF
Saturday, June 12
10:00 am - 4:00 pm
Kalamazoo, MI
$20
J &C M T : In this workshop, we will focus on Othe rich lore of mystical stories and meditations in early Jewish and Christian traditions. Their UR EWISH
HRISTIAN
YSTICAL
RADITIONS
stories touch the heart and speak to the spark of “Messianic consciousness” within us all. Please join us at the Senior Center. Saturday, July 17
THE
1:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Urbana, OH
$10
: This retreat will be held in the quiet beauty of GilChrist, where you Jhave yourS own modern, private cabin for the weekend. We will present an opportunity for you OY OF
ABBATH
will to discover the spiritual power of Sabbath and how to implement it into your life. Imagine being able to let go of all the responsibilities you carry— to rest from your worldly obligations and efforts and to feel a deep sense of release and genuine freedom. Imagine giving yourself the time to simply be —to share your love with God and to celebrate life with those you love. Once you truly embrace the spirit of what the ancients called “the Sabbath Bride,” you may want to make a permanent place for her in your world!
July 30-Aug. 1
Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm
Three Rivers, MI
$100
B S : This workshop will be presented by Steven McAfee Nand Mike Wunderlin, the owner of Natural Health Center in Kalamazoo, Michigan. In his URTURING
ODY AND
OUL
unique and enthusiastic style, Mike will share ideas on improving the quality of your health. With his relaxed and heartfelt approach, Steven will offer insights into improving the quality of your spiritual life. The workshop will be held at the South County Community Center at the corner of Main and Prairie in downtown Vicksburg. Saturday, August 14 10:00 am - 4:00 pm Vicksburg, MI $20 (We will go out for lunch together—please bring lunch money.) Steven’s Calendar continues on next page
A NEW TAPE BY JIM GORDON
Angels In this tape Jim Gordon shares his experiences of angels, describing guardian angels, archangels, solar angels, healing angels and much more.
$8.95 (Please include $3 per order for shipping and handling.) To Order: Checks may be made payable to “Inner Light Ministries” and sent to: Inner Light Ministries, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, Texas 78716-4332. Please include your name, address and phone number. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
5
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR RETREATS
AND WORKSHOPS PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: (CONTINUED) For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167
this retreat we will focus on the mysMteries of theCHoly Spirit.#3 -WeE will provide a listMof Biblical: Inreferences about the Sound and Light of YSTICAL
HRIST
NTERING THE
YSTERY
God and experience some of the prayers, contemplative practices, and rituals used by the early followers of Jesus. “The mysteries of the kingdom of heaven are revealed to you, but they are not revealed to them...for them there are only parables.” (Matt. 13:11 and Luke 8:10) This retreat will take place at the Kellogg Biological Station. The registration fee includes your room and meals on Saturday and Sunday; no meal will be served Friday evening. Aug. 27-29
Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm
Gull Lake, MI
$100
S PIRITUAL RENEWAL:
Though the calendar says that New Year’s Day is January 1, for many of us, with the onset of our new back-to-school-and-work activities, our “new year” feels as if it actually begins in the fall. Come join us for the weekend at GilChrist to begin a new year of spiritual renewal. We’ll look at our lives and begin to weed out those activities and patterns that choke out the flowers of our enthusiasm and creativity. Make a new start by planting the seeds you want to grow in your garden. It’s your garden. September 10-12
Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm
Three Rivers, MI
$100
Note: please be aware that new programs are often scheduled after the newsletter goes to press, and, in rare instances, published schedules may have to be altered. For current information on any event or series, please call the presenter or contact person listed with the program. Thank you.
YOU ARE INVITED TO JOIN ILM Have you been taking advantage of ILM's programs lately our classes, workshops and retreats, Jim's counselings? If so, you are cordially invited to become a Member of Inner Light Ministries. Becoming a member of ILM is a powerful way to affirm your affinity with us and the work we are doing in the world. So, if this sounds good to you, please fill out the form below: PLEASE CONSIDER ME A MEMBER OF INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES: Signature: Printed Name: Address: Mail to : ILM, PO Box 1086, Dripping Springs, TX 78620 There are no "strings attached" to ILM membership: you do not have to give up any other memberships you may hold, neither will you ever be solicited for money by ILM. 6
FORGIVENESS by Laura Kesten-Beaver, ILM Minister
My daughter, then just twelve, was angry and wanted to sue him. We talked about that as an option, but then I began to sift through my unanswered questions and feelings using as a “sifter” the teachings of my spiritual practice. I realized that this vet, though he made a major mistake, was not an awful man. I began to see him as a man—not a God. He made a mistake. Human beings make mistakes. Other humans can forgive. But beyond his error, I knew that this was Maize’s karma—not only with us but also with the vet. I began to feel more at peace with it all. In my mind’s eye I began to see the vet as a man, and to see myself forgiving him. We did, however, change vet offices. We buried our sweet Maize in our backyard, painted a rock marker for her, and said our good-byes in a ceremony. On the way back to the house my daughter began to talk angrily about the vet again. She said that she would never forgive him and hoped that she would never see him again. I put my arms around her and told her that sometimes when we lose something we dearly love, we look for something or someone to blame—we tend to think that this keeps us from feeling the loss so greatly. I told her that when we can’t forgive, it is our own selves who suffer. We store the anger in our bodies and our hearts, thus creating a barricade around ourselves. We do this with the intent of keeping out pain but this barricade also keeps us from experiencing joy. I shared with her that Maize’s suffering and early death was her karma—that, as a soul, Maize agreed to this plan before she came here. I shared with my daughter that if she was still unable to come to forgiveness at this point, then she needed to write the vet a letter, and I would help her with it. She thought just a moment or so and said, “Okay.” I asked, “Okay to the letter?” and she replied, “No, I just forgave him.” She smiled, and then walked out the door with our other two dogs. Maize still resides in our hearts. At times, I think I can even hear her singing along as my daughter plays her clarinet. Perhaps, her life and her death was a lesson in forgiveness for all of us who were her family. For me, I know that Maize brought me to a profoundly deep level of forgiveness and letting go that I may not have gotten to without her.
I
n March our sweet-spirited 4 1/2 year old German Shepherd, Maize, died. Her entire life and now death has been a profound teaching for me in forgiving and letting go. Five years ago, if you were to have had a conversation with me about dogs and specifically about the loss of a dog, I probably would not have contributed much to the conversation. Inside I would have thought, “It’s just a dog!” since I had never been much of a dog lover. I would find them more irritating than anything else: slobbering, licking, having accidents in the house, chewing on things which do not belong to them. Today however, I feel quite differently; Maize and our two remaining dogs became my friends. At around two years of age Maize contracted a bacterial infection of her spine which unfortunately was misdiagnosed. After an examination and an x-ray, she was treated for “hip dysplasia.” Even though she seemed to be deteriorating over the months, the same treatment continued. By the time an accurate diagnosis was given two years later, the damage to her skeletal, nervous and muscular systems was irreversible and irreparable. Most people mistook her for an old deformed dog. With the aid of modern painkillers, Maize was able to live the remainder of her life more at ease. And her spirit rose above all her physical ailments. She continued to enjoy being a playmate to our other dogs and a “mom” to our cats. Six months after the correct diagnosis was made, the infection reached her brain, and within days she made her transition. When I first learned that her condition had been misdiagnosed, I was devastated. With the right diagnosis, she could have been treated with antibiotics and would not have suffered any serious physical damage—and she would still be with us now. I replayed over and over in my mind the first conversation I had had with the vet and his original diagnosis. I kept hearing him say, “The x-ray shows that she has the worst case of hip dysplasia I have ever seen.” I kept asking myself how this could have happened? How could the vet have been so wrong? 7
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER ABOUT ILM INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES (ILM) is a nonprofit outreach organization founded in the fundamental principles of ancient esoteric Christianity. It is dedicated to the development and balancing of the fourfold nature of the individual. Towards this goal, it provides education and services concerned with the integration of the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical aspects of the self, and also provides publications and materials that aid in this process. Among its fundamental tenets is that we really are “temples of the Holy Spirit.” As we seek and express this presence within, we find the peace, love, power, and wisdom we all so earnestly desire. The many services of ILM are geared towards this path of individual unfoldment—such as meditation, study, and prayer on an individual and group basis.
ILM:
(See Angels Tape Ad on Page 5.)
“[Angels] are just instruments of service, where as we are souls ever growing into the awareness of who we are in God.... Their light isn’t from outside in—like we see reflected light—they come from light inside out. So, it’s radiance. It’s the radiation that you see coming forward, and then in that radiation you see the image of who they are.” Service to humanity and the planet is ILM’s second major emphasis, and ILM encourages individual service, in any of a wide variety of possible forms, as a vital aspect of our daily experience. Please write or phone for more information.
Executive Office: Jim Gordon, 203 Buckeye Trail, Austin, TX 78746; Business Office: Tom Beaver, P.O. Box 1086, Dripping Springs, TX 78620; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, 6228 Lombard Place, Fort Wayne, IN 46815
Inner Light Ministries logo
EXCERPTS from Angels by Jim Gordon
Editorial and Publishing Office P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332 Phone: (512) 894-0992
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